#joke id never do that

[needylittlegirl]

lollipops for oral fixation vs hating how they make my teeth feel

#i haveee a cinnamon one rn :3 #i almost always have one in my pocket or smth its awful #maybe i should just start smoking #joke id never do that #i wanna get my tongue pierced simply bc i like things in my mouth?? #but my cousin got hers pierced and she had to take it out bc it was like gonna mess up her teeth #from how much she was fiddling with it #and i dont wanna do that #can u tell i value my teeth #atleast w lollys i just gotta brush my teeth after i have one #im such a little fiend for hard candy #mytxt

[annabelle--cane]

her pronouns are HE/HIM

#I do actually think it's neat on both a character and representation level #that steven only ever objects to being called rose/pink and never says anything about pronouns. however I think this is a funny joke. #steven universe #id in alt text #marina marvels at life

[simmyfrobby]

and someone will probably love you for who you are ... But for now, you have friends, who are not going anywhere. Please stay here.

― Prayer for Werewolves, Stephanie Burt

Hockey Poetry Post 50/?

(Photo credit: Sean M. Haffey, Debora Robinson, link, link, Derek Cain, Debora Robinson, link, Sean M. Haffey, Debora Robinson, Melissa Tamez, Tim Nwachukwu, Len Redkoles, Rich Graessle, Melissa Tamez, Sean M. Haffey, Debora Robinson, Emilee Chinn, Randy Litzinger)

#FIFTY POEMS #THAT IS INSANE #IMAGINE IF ID SPENT ANY OF THAT TIME DOING ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE #jokes on me I would never #thank you internet friends for continuing to indulge & encourage me to keep this up #I love you all very much #and appreciate the kind tags & asks #im also glad this poem is the 50th poem #bless this little guy for remembering that hockey is Not That Serious #here for a good time AND for a long time #ok tags: #trevor zegras #anaheim ducks #hockey poetry posts

[ash-and-starlight]

OOPS I MEANT ZUKKA SCENE 😳

oh! my favorite zukka scene is this one <3

#id in alt text #i thought it was the one in the firebending masters where sokka said something along the lines of ‘zuko why don’t u jump into a volcano :)’ #but i remembered it wrong and he was just telling a joke 😔😔 #but anyway you come hERE IN ZUKKA CENTRAL ASKING FOR A FAVE SCENE?? #zukka never had a bad track honey #the parallels in the first ep as they’re putting on their armors? BANGER #the mutual concussions also in ep 1? KILLER #how stupid do you think i am? pretty stupid- ICONIC #do you you mind if i watch you jerks do your jerbending… GO AWAY!! AMAZING #pretty clouds…. yeah fluffy? INCREDIBLE #the entirety of the boiling rock like every single second of those two episodes??? FANTASTIC #THE TENT SCENE? UNPARALLELED #and don’T GET ME STARTED on how they were the only ones physically injured in the finale idk #but yeah aforementioned scene is such a zukka hit bc if it wasn’t for the rules of the land (-> a kid’s show) #sokka would have fuckin murdered zuko no biggie #and what is an enemies to lovers ship without some mutual killing maiming hatred? nothing #ash replies

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[so-very-small]

heyyy, sorry to tell you but people are making your favorite character a giant :/ yeah with weird dom overtones. like ik he’d be a whimpering tiny but they’re making him say “little one” and shit

#this post is a joke bc id never turn down a dom giant character #however i do have such a hatred of the phrase Little One and idk why. just a squick 2 me

[martyrbat]

madness – batman: haunted knight

#debating which way i want to go with my tags #do i make a joke or do i have a ransom moment that makes my mutuals mildly concern #hes still a dilf because the D still stands for dad. not always a good dad but a dad never the less. #ill still suck his dick silly style but im not happy about it. #(went joke moment to give my mutuals a break and also because #he does apologize and admit hes wrong & fixes it after she literally gets kidnapped and held hostage by mad hatter after sneaking out tho #so it makes up for it but also.... ooh boy.) #c: batman: haunted knight | madness #jim gordan #barbara gordon #ask to tag #i guess ? its nothing violent or anything but it is a family argument and i know how those sensitivities can be. #no judgement ever if u need it or smthn else tagged or suggest one; i promise. dm me or send on anon and ill do it :) #id in alt btw :)

[skunkes]

How do you feel about Dungeon Meshi (i think i spelt that right) getting more popular? I feel like i’ve only seen u post about it but now its popping up a lot more on my twt / tiktok

Mixed feelings! Glad it has an anime now and that ppl are enjoying it, because its really good!

I myself think its annoying when ppl are like "im gatekeeping x media bc its important to me 😡" so thats not how I feel on the other end. It has impacted lots of ppl so if it can get a bigger reach and impact more, thats good. ^_^

if i did not have the time or energy or resources to read it, I would've hated feeling alienated just bc it became a favorite media of mine after the anime came out

Its more like. Idk.

I know ppl who hope it gets Bigger for more official merch but I just don't want it to get Embarrassing ykwim.

I need it to not get so popular that in a few years I'm hiding the volumes from my shelf because its an embarrassing, beat to death thing thats present in every store, backpack, socks, sweater that looks like characters clothing, funko pops, etc. something i cant even enjoy anymore bc its been wrung dry and overexposed and misinterpreted, "of course u like it EVERYONE likes it!" and now I'm tired of it, and wouldn't want ppl to associate me with it LOL 🧿🧿🧿

#anonymous #skunk mail #its like how i do enjoy jjba but id never wear merch out bc what if some fandom poisoned man makes a kakyoin doughnut #joke to me. which happened in college when any mention of it came up #or like how. (insane evil hater mode) when i see people really into BNHA or SNK still im like 😬 #can u imagine if those were somehow your favorite series' in the past and now someone who doesnt even go there feels weird about it For You #when you mention it being your fave. LMFAO. i recognize that'll happen regardless due to ppls tastes but ykwim!!! fandom poison!! #the subreddit has already started with unfunny memes 😭 #AND already started with ''um but my shipping??? my Het shipping why no het people shipping?? why no het Canon ship??'' #ok this is the other hater part that sounds like the ''im gatekeeping this thing thats already popular 😡'' crowd #and im already sorry for the wording im gonna use but you KNOWWWWW the type. #i need it to not ever be on the list of anime that harry potter GOT loving normies my age list as their fave 😭😭😭 #SORRY. this is why i cant interact with jjba bc i know my harry potter loving old friend's husband loves it #or like how my friends boyfriend balks at any mention of ''gay shit'' in it. YKWIMMMM. DONT LET IT GET THIS COMMON #we cant let it get to ''i love marvel movies disney harry potter GOT and [ANIME]!'' status 😭 SORRY. #I need it to get so popular they release a thistle figure im already saving for just in case. But not marvel funko pop lover popular. 😭

[kathrynmjaneway]

.

#hey google how do you start a conversation #i decided to try A Dating App last night #and now i actually have matches #but the jokes on me bc im on bumble and i matched with guys so I HAVE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE #????? #ive never done any of this before #ngl its a nice ego boost #someone super swiped me or whatever and i immediately found him on linkedin too but now the super swipe is putting pressure on me #bc i know id have to start another conversation if i swipe right and hoh boy #personal #probably will delete again #i am at a loss #i have been one very bad date in my life and that was just couple months ago

[smokeys-house]

My goal wouldn't be to blow up and act like I don't know nobody it would be to become loved or respected far and wide, fake my death dramatically and convincingly and then return 12 years later to see what the fanart situation is like.

#smokey talks #like all those random youtubers who faked their deaths but id do it in a funny way #actually i kinda think id hate being famous in any major capacity online or otherwise but #it would be kinda cool to be one of those people who has a webpage full of fanart submissions that eventually spirals out of control #im joking actually that also sounds awful #remembering the dream i had where a ton of new art of my oc id never seen b4 got uploaded to a certain funny numbers site and then #i got a C&D in the mail

[pineappical]

it genuinely makes me laugh at how much ted has a grip on my brain its EMBARRASSINGGGG how many drawings i have of him (finished and unfinished) and yet im loving every single second of it

anyhoo how do any of yall feel about another babygirl drawing

#I DONTKNOWW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYY UAHHH ERMMM..... #i know some of u are probably gripping me to draw something else but SORRY... HAVING A CATEGORY 7 AUTISM EVENT RN..... i genuinely cant #tell you how long this will last LMFAOOO #i joked with a friend (hi mail) about filling a sketchpad with drawings of him that progressively gets ...... hornier each page AND. #ITS STARTING TO SLOWLY BECOME A REALITY JUST IN DIGITAL I AM SO SORRY HJAGKHJAGHJDGHJAGJ #ITS JUST MAKING ME GIGGLEEEE this is so embarrassing but i just had to say it #I KEEP ON SAYING THIS BUT I REALLY DO WANT TO DRAW SOMETHING ELSE but you know....... everytime i open a canvas i go insane #like rn. i dont even know if i can call this a pin up but its..... Fruity...! #<- HOMOSEXUAL #I DONT KNOW. DONT LOOK AT ME. #having a moment and all the girlies on discord are offline so im rattling my cage rn #pn.txt #LIKE YALL RLY FOLLOW ME FOR THESE.....?? HELP!!!!! #ITS JUST SO FUNNY. GOD. ANYWAYS #PRAY TO FUCKIN GOD MY IRLS NEVER CHECKS BACK ON MY BLOG ID SHIT MYSELF IF THEY DO

[writhe]

#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO? #writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this #it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into #this conversation where we realized we experience the world #in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia #manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different #and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would #experience' and they were like 'oh because i do' #(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i #was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper #was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not' #which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that #but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like #there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign #and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts #but i mean it in a good way #like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc #but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and #understandings #and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow. #lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home #home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc #2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right

[todayisafridaynight]

tbh if ryuji knew there were two (2) whole more dragons in this franchise i dont think he’d have ever died just from the sheer will of needing to kick the shit out of them too

#snap chats #no one even knows what happens to the Y0 lieutenants in the epilogue i dont think like. tf are they #and i mean. how olds tendo about the same age as ryuji and kiryu yeah he and ryuji could throw down at least oncd #if majima can fight ryuji at 12 then fuck it these fists are rated E for everyone #greatest crime rgg fandom has ever committed is never doing a ‘hes squidward/youre squidward/im squidward’ joke #id do it but im going through an existential crisis and its going to get worse later #happy mothers day btw. to those who celebrate. #moment of silence for the dead-mom gang or wishes-their-mom-was-dead gang #every bitch in this franchise falls under that category thats so fucked up Dead Mom Gang not Wishes Their Mom Was Dead #but yeah Main Point Right like. like there’s shibusawa/kiryu/ryuji/tendo #we can be funny and include ichi and jo as two halves of a dragon to make one full dragon. just to make ryuji mad

[timeisacephalopod]

The pushback to the term "cultural Christianity" from atheists is real odd to me because, as someone who has been an atheist since 13, only ever went to church a handful of times never with my own family (made a note never to sleep over at that friends house on a Saturday again bc I HATED church it smelled like shit, was boring, pews are uncomfortable as fuck, and the religious people I knew were all wildly misogynistic and I've never been here for being told I was less of a person for being Born Like This), and generally had no actual connection to Christianity in a meaningful way but still only knows Christian mythology, has been steeped in Christian values I had to untangle, and my religious understandings are still deeply Christian.

Like Ive never paid attention to the bible, church, Jesus, Christian teachings, or whatever but if you asked me about any religion the one I'll reliably know the most about is Christianity. I don't know why atheists are offended by being called culturally Christian because they have bad blood with the religion because like sorry bruh that doesn't mean you're less indoctrinated by Christian values if the culture you grew up in is predominantly Christian. In fact I'd say that religion being this ubiquitous in the culture regardless of anyone's consent to exactly ONE religion being shoved down our throats is reason to team up with other religious folks who ALSO don't like being constantly evangelized to by the culture at large, not a reason to throw a fit because you don't like being tied to a religion that is so ingrained into the culture that shit like "oh my god" and "Jesus Christ" are common expressions of surprise regardless of how atheist you are. Like surely I'm not the only atheist to notice the shocking amount of cultural religious shit that works it's way into my life and speech despite having not set foot in a church since I was like 10, and I can't remember the last time I was in one before that.

Idk man cultural Christianity seems like a pretty damn useful term to describe my relationship with a religion I never fully bought into and then actively rejected as a child yet still hold weird connections to and knowledge of just because Christianity is so baked into the culture I grew up in like it or not. If you want to be mad, be mad at the Christians who stole your freedom from religion from you, not usually religious minorities who discuss cultural Christianity and how it damages them too.

#winters ramblings #like breh i HATE how much christian bullshit ive had to detangle from my life. like the idea of sin and punishment for example #id say a LOOOOOT of discussion regardless of religion leans towards a Christian understanding of the pridon system #prison is basically a recreation of hell on earth where youre supposed to go to burn off your sins in your 10x10 cell #now i gotta say not all Christians buy inti the styke of punishment and sin i know normal well adjusted Christians #but for the most part a HUGE portion of shit comes with a helping of cultural Christianity. but prison is probably the best example #hell any discussion of punishment relies on a distinctly christian flavor of 'atone for your sin or be doomed forever" #repubs bitch about so called cancel culture but thats just how Christians act towards sin lmao they do it too #except they choose shit you didnt ACTIVITY make a choice about like being gay to condem you to hell. #cant be mad that twitter cancels people for small shit like a crap joke if you actively subscribe to the same belief system #and are only mad bc that logic is applied to YOU now. anyway i could do without this logic in activist spaces #or ANY spaces being doomed forever over sin is only one way to do Christianity. like damn can the ones who like #rehabilitation and justice and helping the poor at least be the ones in charge?? #regardless ive never been a Christian and barely have a meaningful connection to the religion. whuch is why i find it rather salient #that i still have this deep connection and knowledge of something i ACTIVELY REJECTED at 13 #do you know HOW MUCH i had to have been indoctrinated into this shit with as LITTLE of a connection to organized religion as i do?? #the fact i have ANY connection at all is kind if fucked honestly it shows you really REALLY do not get to choose #your religious leanings unless youre actively ANOTHER RELIGION BESIDES CHRISTIAN otherwise tough tiddy #you get to be Christian By Default and i don't like it either. but when i see jewish people talking about it #i know EXACTLY what they mean because i dont like my connection to a religion i never believed in and rejected at 13 either #i don't like that my choice to reject Christianity was stolen from me by such a ubiquitously christian culture #im not mad at jews for pointing this out im mad at christians for stealing my freedom of choice

[sunnixsunshine]

Karkalicious definition makes Topher loco

He wants to know the secrets that he can't taste in my photo

Dyin' just to know the flavor

I ain't doin' him no favors

No reasons why I tease

His flush just comes and goes like seasons

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitious

I blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moiraills

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

(Four, three, two, fuck you)

#i live to make others suffer #do you dare me to make scudworth x hussie art? oh you do dont you 😈 #JOKING JOKING ID NEVER DRAWNHUSSIE WITH ANYONE BUT HIS WIFE VRISKA #LIKE DUUUUH 🙄 #homestuck #homestuck fanart #karkat vantas #clone high #clone high reboot #clone high 2023 #clone high topher bus #clone high topher #topher bus

[hella1975]

ive got an essay due at 3pm tomorrow and ive not even looked at it i am so so unserious about my degree and by the grace of some higher being i somehow keep managing to crawl through it's actually getting a bit funny

#me and an old friend of mine used to have a running joke during a-levels that im just one of those people where shit Works Out #and it started bc we shared two a-levels (english and economics) and in BOTH classes i regularly didn't do the homework #or the reading etc and yet it would ALWAYS work out for me #like we'd walk into a class neither of us having done the homework and they'd get yelled at while i went under the radar somehow #or that one english essay i got the highest score in the class when i literally hadn't even read the fucking book it was on #and when we pointed the theory out it started just becoming really prevalent #like no matter how late i am for things i'll arrive and by some miracle the thing im late for is also late (e.g a train or teacher) #like im just one of those people that has very very mundane luck #and low and behold i am fighting this degree with bloody fists putting the absolute bare minimum in for my own sanity's sake #and i SOMEHOW keep pulling through. literally failed two modules last year and STILL got a 2:1 average #and the last essay i wrote was the worst essay id ever done in my life and i get my standards are higher bc ik im good at essays #but the point still stands and you know what? i got a FIRST #literally was pure waffle i have never blagged it so hard and i got a FIRST #and all this shit just makes me cockier and cockier and go even more by the skin of my teeth and it ALWAYS WORKS OUT #it's soooo silly but im not complaining. anyway ill keep u posted about this essay <3 it's econ history so is actually interesting #but the most ive done for it is ask the sc ai lmao and for context degree-level essays usually require a good few days of graft #live love laziness #hella goes to uni