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tsintotwo · 1 year

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Happy Tom at the Osaka Comic-Con.

Quick recap of the panel: He got there from NY the previous night, dove headfirst into Japanese food first thing (had taco wasabi- literally raw octpus- and chicken neck). His fav ice cream flavor is vanilla ('keep it pure')- without any topping on a cone. One of his fav Sandman dialogues is 'I am hope', his fav Dream-Hob era is Elizabethan (we knew this). To build the Sandman figure, 'you eat nothing and work out like you're about to play Thor'. He would never choose between theatre and TV, and if he were a DJ like Carl was in The Boat That Rocked, he would leave the music to people who understood it better than him and air conversations with people he cares about on why they make the things they make. His birthday is Dec 5, 1985. Why is it different on different websites? No clue, no one ever asked him.

I want to say something. This was a 25 minute panel. On the stage, there were three men on his right, one woman on his left. The men read out fan questions in Japanese, the woman translated them to English. Tom answered. The woman translated it back. The men would then exchange a few words among themselves, and/or have something to say to Tom based on his answer which the woman again translated for Tom.

In all this, Tom was extraordinarily attentive and engaged. Of course he gave fun and/or thoughtful answeres to the questions like he always does. But beyond that- whenever Japanese was being spoken, he looked at the speaker and listened, even though he didn't understand a single word. Tom's most common listening expression is the pinched-lipped pout, and in lots other interviews/cons you can see him listening but not loooking at the person speaking. Here, he made a point of looking at them. He nodded and smiled based on their gestures and expressions. He rarely took his eyes off them or lost focus. I posted a clip of him looking confused earlier- that was one of the one/two times that happened. And once he got the idea of how it was working, if his answers were long, he started pausing in the middle to give the translator a chance to take it by pieces. He made sure she understood what he was saying. He didn't stare into space or look impatient when other people on the stage were having a small convo within themselves.

I actually never spent time looking at celeb things like comic-cons before. So maybe this is the norm, and most of the men and women we see on screen are amazing at these events and just great people in general. I have no context. But I just know as someone who frequently gets lost into her own head even in engaging environments, being this dedicated to a space and situation that can't be made completely inclusive probably wouldn't be possible. My attention would get loose, and/or I would decide it's less awkward if I don't engage when they aren't speaking a language I know. But Tom made it seem easy and smooth for himself.

I love Tom, yeah, we all do, but this sort of stuff just gives me so much respect and appreciation for him as an individual. I know fans like to yassify him based on things like his smol-bean/cinnamon roll energy, and while that's cute, it sometimes has the risk of making a person's image into that of a man-child. He isn't that, though. Shy and (sometimes) awkward as he is, this is a very intelligent man, emotionally and intellectually, and I love to see it come through.

#tom sturridge #morpheus #dream of the endless #the sandman #osaka comic con 2023 #osaka comic con

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protectoratenova07 · 1 year

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I will never not get annoyed over people saying that Brian/Grue joining the Heroes was the obvious and easiest choice out there. Admittedly, the WOGs expand more on it, but even with what we get from Arc 4 when he talks about his trigger event, I can't comprehend how anyone wouldn't see the reasons for him not wanting to join the government sponsored heroes.

Basing this off memory, but to sum it up, Brian goes to him moms house after getting a text from Aisha asking for help. He finds her in some poor condition ( I don't think he goes into detail and it may not matter if he did cause he's not telling the full truth here) and when he tries to take her back to his dad's, their step-dad gets in thew ay and doesn't let them leave. Brian proceeds to beat him up, take his sister back, and gets powers sometime in between.

Then, he, aisha, and their dad go to the police the very next morning. They explain what happened and Brian still describes how he almost got sent to jail. Only aisha backing him up and his step-dad missing an asshole anonymous meeting saved him. And he still got some months of community service. Like, in my opinion he did the right thing every step of the way and still almost got screwed over.

Sometime later, (not immediately cause he's 14 to 15 when he gets powers) he decides to try and take care of aisha by being a villain to get enough money/backing to do it.

That's all described in arc 4. Now we get into the WOGs. Again, basing this off memory, but I can try to find them later.

First, Brian lied about his trigger, a little bit. General event still happened, but when he claimed he didn't know who the man was besides being his mom's new boyfriend, he lied. He knew that man bc it was the same boyfriend who had abused him in the past. And his mom brought him back and let him interact with his sister. Add in his mom's other problems and his dad's ("I wouldn't describe him as abusive") there was a fair bit of emotions Brian was going through that he didn't share. But at the end of the day, every adult in his life failed him and his sister. He wouldn't be willing to extend his trust as easily.

Second, a different WOG described Brian getting into crime in a panic bc aisha had done something afterward that led to her needing to get bailed out of something with money (again, going off memeory) so even if he wanted to join the wards he'd be doing it with a record. Presumably he later decided he might as well go all in on it and get aisha into a safer environment than both his parents. He probably thought it may help with keeping her out of trouble as well if she wasn't around two people who didn't know how to raise kids (not that he did either, but he probably thought he couldn't do worse).

Third, by WOG he did actually consider the wards, but after researching them decided they wouldn't be worth it. Admittedly this was moreso bc of his own hangups with commitment. Bc telling the big organization your power and identity then trying to bail wouldn't really work out, but apparently it was still preferable to a career of crime. It's not like the Protectorate would actually have authority to take a child away from their parents anyway without major proof, especially if that kid isn't a parahuman themself.

Fourth, the undersiders were generally a low risk high reward chance until Taylor joined and brought them her bad luck. They operated for a year and only got into some mild skirmishes with Lung and them being escape artist didn't have an issue with him. Besides that, they made a shot ton of money on top of the 2grand their sponsor gave them.

Fifth, I don't think we ever learned what the time table was for Coil helping out with Brian getting custody, especially given how suspicious Brian was of their mysterious boss and his motives preleviathan. Maybe Coil admitted to knowing Brian's problems and offered a solution at the start. Maybe Brian opened up with it as a condition to him joining. Or maybe after a few months of getting 2grand a relatively easy missions Brian decided to trust the boss who hadn't screwed him and ask for the money to be given to him in a legal paycheck for better chance at custody. I say that last option bc Brian is supposed to be the careful pragmatic one who thinks about his choices and doesn't do the crazy option unless bug girl decides to go full throttle and he begrudgingly goes along. And giving his personal details and a sure fire way of blackmail isn't excalty the pragmatic choice.

Tldr: he has to have some pretty big distrust of authority cause shifty parents and probably shotty police and by WOG became a criminal in a panic before going full in on it. Cause he was, again, like 15 years old.

Now, the argument for him joining the wards is that the Heroes/PRT could have snapped their fingers and given everything Brian would want. And seeing the deal Madcap got I can definitely see the idea behind it, but there are a few problems with that. A) Brian wouldn't know shit about how desperate the Heroes are bc they don't advertise that. B) I'm not sure how much power they would actually have over taking kids away from unhealthy environments cause laws and shit would probably limit that. C) as stated above, he says he almost got jailed for hurting his step-dad so I don't see him liking authority at this stage, no matter how just he was in the eyes of the law for it. D) Brian's own issues and that he's a 15 year old so he won't see the world as a perfectly rational being.

#parahumans #brian laborn #grue #worm #why didnt he get an interlude before his 2nd trigger wildbow #i just hate it when i see stuff like why didnt this emotionally ruined teenager act perfect and logical #i wrote this while needing sleep so sorry for typos #also thats not even getting into the 2 decade long nazi problem in the city he lives in #or how the the protectorate probaly just got their asses kicked by lung cause it would be around this time he made the abb #so the heroes arent looking good is what im saying #long post #meta #i guess? not sure #ill find the wog later im going to bed #maybe clean tbis up into an actual formated post as well

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adalwolfgang · 1 month

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could I request some yandere nubbins sawyer hcs if it's not too much to ask? Thank you, ^^

Also sorry if I'm flooding ya with sawyer asks

-📻

A/N: Like last time, this is my first time writing for nubbins so he might be a little ooc for some.

Warnings: This is much more violate in a way than choptop's

Yandere!Nubbins Sawyer

He meet's you and your group of friends similar to the first movie.

A lonely hitchhiker you all take pity on a decide to give him a lift.

Big mistake on your part.

During his show and tell of the photos he has of him and his brothers working at the slaughterhouse, he takes out his camera and snaps a photo of franklin and then a couple of you.

He offer's Franklin the photo in exchange for $2 bucks, while handing over a photo of you for free.

Sawyer rizz ig.

Franklin just act's all offended.

When Nubbins starts acting erratically, involuntarily cutting his hand with Franklin's pocket knife and slicing at Franklin, he get's votingly kicked out of the van.

But not before he leaves a handprint of his own blood marked on the van.

When he meets back up with his brothers to go over the plan of taking you all out, Nubbin's warns his brothers not to kill you.

Bubba goes along with the order while Drayton isn't to pleased with the idea of keeping you alive.

What would happen if you escaped?

The whole family would be at risk of being arrest or worse killed by police.

Either way, they come to an agreement to you staying alive

Now onto the head canon part.

Similar to chop-top, he's possessive as hell.

But way worse.

He can be more violent and unpredictable with you.

He isn't afraid to hurt you in some way to get his point across.

He won't do anything that would bring you close to dying but sometimes you'd probably wish for that treatment instead.

Again, he makes sure you're constantly with him or as much as he hates it, one of his brothers is with you to make sure you don't escape.

If you show any form or thought of escaping, he locks you up in a room for a few day's without food or water like some abused pet.

When your 'punishment' is up, he'll act all loving towards you.

He'll feed you himself, and give you water no matter if you're too weak to do it yourself or not.

Again he's unpredictable with his mood swings.

Respect and boundaries are another thing.

He doesn't quite see them the way others do nor does he care to follow them.

He's constantly touching and petting you.

Especially your hair.

He's obsessed with your hair alone.

He's constantly touching it, stroking it, washing it, or tugging at it.

He's also always wrapping his arms around you either in a hug or just to keep you close.

If you try to push him away, he'll get all whiny and upset that you don't recuperate his affections.

He'll still force you though.

Bubba think's it's cute but feel's sorry for the both of you if you don't feel the same to nubbin's.

Drayton just finds it weird and a nuisance to the family business but he doesn't say that.

#x reader #reader insert #the texas chainsaw massacre #texas chainsaw massacre headcanons #texas chainsaw massacre #texas chainsaw massacre x reader #tcm x reader #nubbins sawyer #nubbins sawyer x reader

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amisalami03 · 9 months

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cave mommy headcanons :D [this is my first time doing this help]

i'm gonna flip the script a little with this one, I think shes way more chill BUT will troll at any time >:)

she walked past pickle and sprayed him for no reason which resulted in a mini brawl , it was swiftly ended when cave shawty picks pickle up and suplexes him, so in celebration she beats her chest then goes to sleep in a nearby tree

she's definitely omnivorous in my book but she will eat meat and acts like a leopard by hiding her game in trees and pissing on those who walk to close to her territory this isn't a piss-kink thing I swear she's literally feral and piss is her prehistoric version of pocket sand

ironically enough though she and pickle are mated but he can not stand her ass sometimes, but she literally doesn't gaf and will lay on top of him (because she can.) and pickle does not seem to mind his woman using him as a mattress he will growl lowly but eventually puts himself to sleep since her warmth, scent and breathing patterns make it impossible to keep him awake lol (also its a sense of familiarity and comfort of her being the only thing he left of the past, so he willingly tolerates it)

because of her retsu's hair has been let down to its full glory and she even gave him a beautiful restyle :3 (lots of stick and shiny rock so cool |:) <- cave mommymoji) pickle didnt like it and wanted to fight retsu but a swift kick upside his head thwarted that act of petty conflict

she has no clue whats going on but is happy to see such small little guys doing complex things

she fucking LOVES pinwheels and windchimes hell yes little trinkets for her pretty please, even pickle is entertained when she shoves a pinwheel in his hair and shows him her stolen hardware store collection of chimes and shiny glass lawn ornaments used to water flowers -> |:) [her proud face]

she scratches her head like a dog and prefers to stay quadraped, which threw the boys off when she finally decided to stand on her two legs

katsumi told retsu he saw her walking on two legs before everyone else did and retsu called him a liar stating that she simply hadn't "evolved" to do that yet, as soon as he was done saying that she walked right passed them with various lawn ornaments in her arms, farted and continued walking without breaking a stride. retsu was stunned and katsumi just put his hand on his shoulder to console him.

I like to think she has a fighting style similar to dogwatch man from one punch man, which makes her a very hard opponent to defeat since her speed and agility far surpass her bipedal descendants

baki used her as a shield until she force-fed him a handful of grubs and ever since then shes been wondering where he's been |:( his ass ran away from her for about a week

she found him eventually and frantically fussed over him while holding him in a tight embrace, she thought she lost her baby again

Please keep her away from vending machines and claw games, to her they are like giant see through crustaceans she can crack open and benefit from, her and pickle will leave a wake of litter and shards of glass to get whats inside

Loves fountains, they are like vertical waterfalls to her and she’s mesmerized by how the magic water goes up 24/7

She draws cave paintings and is very proud of her work

Absolutely blown away by crayons, completely opened pandoras box for her wait until she learns about paint and markers

Keep scented/colorful soaps and chemicals away from her…she will try to drink them and get sick…no she probably wont die, but she will shit and vomit alot, pickle didnt wanna take the risk to drink fabuloso after that

She has an underbite snaggle tooth that sticks out

This is all I can come up with

This is all I can give you…for now

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vintageandroid · 1 year

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how does sex even work if it doesn't involve genitals? /genq

I'm assuming/hoping you're 18+, so I'm linking to my adult blog in this article. If you're not uhhhhh don't read this I guess and get off my lawn blog.

Anyway. Depends on how you define sex and sexuality. I tend to say "we don't have traditional genital-smushing sex" because I realize that's what most people consider having sex. My partner is sex-averse asexual (meaning an ace who both doesn't experience sexual attraction and isn't really interested in Doin' It, though in their case they still enjoy fantasy and erotica and stuff), and I'm sex-neutral demisexual (I'm sexually attracted after forming a bond and I can take or leave sex, although I also really enjoy fantasy and erotica and stuff), so we just don't really do the usual Having of Sex. But that leaves room for kink activities like spanking or wax play, writing smut for each other, sexual conversations, flirting, buying sex toys for ourselves or each other, and individual masturbation, among other things. We've been together 10 and a half years so I guess we're doing okay!

I actually discussed this in more detail in my first published article, way back in 2019, Asexuality and Queerness (and a new definition of sex). I wrote it before I realized I was nonbinary or demisexual, when my spouse still sometimes used she/her pronouns, and so on and so forth, but the basic content still stands! You might also like My Nonsexual Submission, also written early on, where I discuss nonsexual kink at length, and maybe some other stuff in my non-sexual kink tag. If you've somehow missed the memo, please note that my professional blog is very adult and kink-centric, and I do try to do trigger warnings at the top of each article, but you're reading at your own risk.

Ultimately, my spouse and I have a good, solid sex life despite not doing the traditional horizontal boogie stuff. We communicate well; we know each other's interests and preferences, and are ultimately able to ensure that both of our needs are met without crossing anyone's comfort zone. Also keep in mind that a) other people definitely do it differently and b) we are both real people with like, nuanced experiences and I'm simplifying so I don't write a 50k word response to your ask.

Hope this answers your question, I guess!

#asexuality #queer earthling #my asks

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yantalia545 · 4 months

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Headcanons about a yandere platonic germany? I hope ur having a good day/night ♡

Due to Germany's lack of romance, I can't imagine his relationship with you being much different. Just less intimate and a bit more relaxed with you; Just a tad more relaxed.

As your friend, he'll be very concerned over you much like he is with Italy. Even if you are a bit more put together like Japan, you're still at risk of the others. Especially Russia and America. Just one side glance over something he doesn't like would usually be enough to get them to stop. Though, Germany's not afraid to go verbal if he has to. It's all for you, after all.

Germany will hover over you much like a concerned parent. It would be nice for you since you always know that you have someone strong beside you to help you out if you find yourself in any trouble. However, sometimes he can be a little overbearing and strict. If things are getting a little tense between you two (The WW's for instance), you may suspect him of trying to take over your country or something and begin to restrain your interactions with Germany. Much to his dismay.

There will often be arguments over how much Germany is allowed to be involved in your personal life. Most times, he does tend to back down. Remembering to look over you in a more secretive approach as he apologizes.

He'll definitely dictate who you can consider friends. Germany can't risk losing you over a conflict of interest. Definitely gives in to more trade deals with you than others as an act of friendship. He wants you as close as possible to him without you lashing out at him. Germany desires nothing more than to have as close to a normal relationship with you as possible.

If things do become tense between you two or he feels you're in danger (most likely America and Russia's doing), then he may result in keeping you under rap until everything blows over. If you try to refuse or leave, Germany will take countermeasures. He's not above locking you in his basement until he feels it's safe. You are his dearest friend. It's his job to make sure nothing bad happens to you. Scream and cry at him all you want, but refuses to let you out in inmate danger.

Don't worry though, Germany would treat you much better than any of his prisoners. In his mind, you're not being held captive, you're just too damn suborn to see that you need his protection more than ever right now. You'll be treated with care. The best foods that he prepares, a comfy bed with your favorite colored sheets and comforter to sleep on, and even lots of books, art supplies, and games to keep you occupied while he's away. Have a precious pet? Hell, he brought them along too so you have no need to worry.

It looks like he's been preparing for this for a while now.

Try to escape and well....

~~~~~~~

You don't really know how long you've been down in Germany's care now. A few days. Maybe a week tops. It's hard to tell when there are no windows. The only way you have to tell time is through the different meals that Germany brings.

You've had enough of being here. You just want to go home.

Germany is being weirder than ever and you're not getting much of an answer out of him. From the years that you've known him you know that he can be quite stubborn. If reasoning won't work, then you'll just have to get out yourself and wait for things to die down with Germany again. This isn't the first time he's been too stubborn over something ridiculous.

You were trying your best to pry a bolt out from the barred door. The rock you found was a little too small, but it was all you got. It was like Germany made sure to clean the place you got here.

It was strange being here for lack of a better word. With the way everything was set up, all well put together and thoughtful of your hobbies, You began to wonder what other things Germany does when you're not around. It makes you feel a sort of ick that you just can't seem to shake. How long has Germany been planning to keep you like this? Better yet, when did he start planning?

There was the sound of the familiar screeching of the door from somewhere down the hall and you froze. Germany was coming.

You tried your best to quickly place the bolt loosely back in place. You barely made it over to your bed with a book before Germany was at your cell door.

“Good morning, (y/n).” Germany greeted as if it were a normal day. You tried to keep calm and act like you were reading the whole time, but your heart was pounding. You worried that Germany could hear your racing heart from across the room.

Just before you were about to speak you were interrupted by the sound of a small clink towards the stone floor. Just as Germany was placing the key into the lock, the bolt you were working on fell out of place.

Your heart jumped in your chest when he leaned down and picked up the object; inspecting it closely.

"Huh, the bolt from the door has seemed to come loose. You wouldn't have anything to do with this, would you (Y/N)?" Germany asked. Taunting you. He wasn't a fool. He already knew you were the one to blame. An escape attempt that he's discovered.

You couldn't say a word. You were too stunned to make any sort of movement. You had been revealed by your captor.

A sigh emitted from Germany as he moved his hand through his gelled blonde locks. "You know, I do this for your own good. I tried to be fair to you, but now you leave me with no choice."

Your heart sunk at the thought, 'You leave me no choice'. What does that even mean?!

You could only stare in horror as he opened your cell door and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Out of instinct, you pushed yourself to the opposite side of the bed and pushed the bed at him. Germany didn't have enough time to react before he was knocked over the bed. You only made it about halfway out the your cell when you were tackled to the ground. You tried to retract your hands and get away, but Germany was too strong and pulled your hands behind your back.

#hetalia #yandere hetalia #yandere germany

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parab0mb · 2 months

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So, now that I finished the game (again) and the DLC chapters, I'm going to ramble about Crosscode C:

This game is really bizarre in the sense that, to be completely 100% honest, there isn't any particular part of the game that I think is all that mind-blowing. But all the individual elements (heh) of the game come together so well that the resulting product ends up being so much stronger and memorable than the sum of its parts.

Like, most indie games have one or several notable flaws or shortcomings (and understandably so) but this game is such an airtight experience that I can't help thinking about it and just being like "the how HECK is this game so GOOD?!"

...I am of course just getting started, I've got a wall of text of things I liked and thought her just "meh" under the 'keep reading' if you're interested (you've been warned (also spoilers obviously)):

The combat is definitely one of the strongest elements of the game and probably one of my personal favorites; its brutally difficult and sometimes feels like bullshit (and maybe there is one or two instances where it actually is just bullshit) but once you get the hang of it is really is flashy and satisfying and makes you feel badass to pull off. Plus its got the whole easy to learn, hard to master thing going on (like most of it is just charging SP and pressing the space bar, but knowing what moves to use and when def play into things).

I dunno how much of a hot take this is, but I really liked the puzzles in this game! I won't deny that they can sometimes drag on and interrupt the pacing of a temple, but personally I didn't mind. And just like the combat they're so well constructed that, while you'll spend minutes staring blankly reminded that you're a simple-minded creature and that the human mind wasn't made for this and you should be foraging for mushrooms in the woods and risking death over your next meal, they rarely feel impossible to solve without having to resort to a playthrough and are really satisfying to finally figure out (not to brag but there was exactly one puzzle in the game where I had to look up the solution and another where I did solve it on my own but then looked it up cause I thought I cheesed it by mistake). At first I wasn't a huge fan of how fast/precise you have to be for some puzzles on top of just finding out the solution in the first place, but after a while you kinda get used to it (and there is an option to slow things down which is really nice of the devs to include).

The story is... pretty alright. Yeah. I honestly don't have much to say about it. Bit of a slow pace, does the job, and has it's share of twists and emotional moments, but the narrative itself doesn't really do anything mind-blowing either so... you know. I definitely think it's the characters themselves that are memorable and prop up an otherwise average story. I mean every single one of them is just the hugest goober and even characters who initially seem forgettable or one-dimensional end up subverting your expectations and being super endearing/compelling/layered. Oh yeah, and Lea is a character that can only say like 10 words and SHE DESERVES THE WORLD I WOULD KILL FOR H-

Also, since the DLC is brand new to me I do wanna say that the ending was the tiniest bit underwhelming. Like you break into Vermillion Wasteland, fight a (surprisingly easy) boss, and that's... just it. Like 20 minutes top. I dunno, it feels like... something was missing. Still thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing and it is nice for the cast to get their happy ending (not quite as emotionally impactful as the base game's end imo, but still great and I'm glad they gave us more time with these dorks).

The platforming and navigating the overworld is tedious, which sucks a bit since that makes up a good chunk of the game. Idk man, having to scale different elevations of platforms is made frustrating by the fixed camera and the fact that the different "levels" of platforms aren't distinct from each other at all, so its easy to get duped by the perspective and jump to something you can't actually reach (yes you can use projectiles to check but it still isn't fun). Even without everything blending into each other visually, trying to find which obscure paths from four rooms ago will bring you to a chest just isn't all that enjoyable (some of the later maps like Sapphire Ridge were okay though, if only cause they started to have actually interesting puzzles to do). Basically they're just... there, between the actually fun stuff.

The trading system and farming for resources is confusing and kind of a chore. That's all I got.

Guess I'll touch on the art/music since I don't have too much to say about them. To be perfectly honest I'm not actually super crazy about the artstyle (blasphemy!), but I won't deny that the sprite-work and overall aesthetic are still super-well done, even if they aren't my personal taste (tl;dr I'm neutral on it). The soundtrack isn't something I'd put on my phone and listen to in the car, but like the art it's still well-made and perfectly suits the mood of/drives the emotional impact of the game, and there are still a handful of standout bangers (Lea's theme will live rent-free in my brain of course).

One last thing I'll say (that I mentioned before) is that as fun as this game is, it feels like a commitment to get through at times. Even when I first played it and had more free time, sometimes this game just felt "imposing" to pick back up after a break. Idk its hard to describe, but at least for me it was hard to play any other games alongside this (especially with my limited free time) which kinda sucked a bit.

To wrap things up, if I had to give the game an arbitrary number rating, I have to give Crosscode a 0/10 because its an indie game that doesn't have a fishing game (smh honestly how could they make such an obvious mistake 😔).

#like I said I don't have any super deep analyses of the characters or the game to offer #just wanted to ramble about THE EXPERIENCE and what I thought this game did fantastically and slightly less fantastically #ya know #while i still got the brainrot #also reading what I wrote kinda makes me sound more critical of the game than I really am #i do wanna be clear that a lot of this is just me nitpicking #even the “worst” stuff in the game (*cough* the overworld) is still solid #also opinions #crosscode spoilers #crosscode #rambling #long post #game review (i guess)

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running-with-the-feels · 5 months

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Subscorp AU Where the Dragon Cryomancer realm remained untouched and Kuai Liang is a prince of the realm

ooooooooooo I like this thought

I'd say that in this timeline then, the tournament between Outworld and Earthrealm ended without any casualties on Earthrealm's side (so we can keep a good cast of characters) and Shao Khan turned himself to Snincheti (cryomancer realm) instead of invading

He found a loophole tho that lets him hold a tournament once a year rather than once a generation, causing things to be a bit rough

Kuai Liang and Bi-Han's mother is still from Earthrealm, having accidentally wandered through a portal, stumbling and falling directly into their father's arms, the two later falling in love. Lian is also still here

Lian is the recently crowned Queen with the previous reigning monarchs (their mother and father) having been killed in the last few tournaments.

Because the win condition for mortal kombat is winning ten consecutive tournaments, I hc that it just keeps going until someone does win ten straight tournaments (so if outworld wins five and then loses one, they can still challenge again the next year, or they can cut their losses and call a stop to the tournament)

So this is tournament 7, with the cryomancers winning 3 and outworld winning four, and the cryomancer forces are getting weary.

Bi-han is the prince and current heir, and leads the Lin Kuei, also Lian's top military advisor. Kuai Liang is the prince and diplomat, with Frost being his ward/apprentice/adopted-daughter-but-nobody-says-that-out-loud. She wants to prove herself as a fighter by winning a tournament and isn't really listening to reason on that.

The Lin Kuei are Snincheti's elite fighting force who are currently fighting the tournaments and who Frost wants to join.

Kuai Liang comes up with the idea to reach out to Earthrealm for help, as their champions have won tournaments before and there's no rule prohibiting fighters from other realms picking a side and aiding them. This leads to Raiden bringing the defenders, Hanzo included, to their realm to help them fight (Hanzo is still a wraith, but learned the truth about Quan Chi in the last tournament, the sorcerer having framed somebody other than Bi-Han bc the Lin Kuei aren't in earthrealm).

Bi-Han also calls on his Netherrealm allies, leading to Sareena and some of her demon friends joining in. This upsets Raiden but as Kuai Liang points out, the Netherrealm has never been aggressive to Snincheti or the cryomancers, so there is no reason for them to cut ties.

Lian tries to make a deal with Raiden in exchange for the aid of his fighters, but he is unwilling to risk leaving Earthrealm undefended should Shao Kahn attack again, causing him to depart. Some of the defenders, namely Hanzo, Kung Lao, Kitana (recent recruit) and Liu Kang, stay and decide to help.

Kuai Liang, despite being the diplomat, is also fighting in the tournaments, having killed the Kombatant who felled his mother (Lian killed the one who got their father), which leads to him and Hanzo sparring very often as they are awake at the same odd times. Kuai Liang offers Snincheti magic to aid Hanzo in restoring his humanity, as they know magic Raiden has long since forgotten/destroyed all record of and Hanzo is wary of accepting, thinking he doesn't deserve it.

None of the three cryomancer siblings hide their dragon features in this timeline, as among their people it is a sign of status, with their family like having the most prominent dragon features of any living cryomancers. It's not tracked through bloodline tho, as the magic within them recognizes family through bonds rather than blood, with cryomancer's dragon traits sometimes changing to match their adopted family's more closely, though they still retain much of their original appearanc (so Frost looks more and more like Kuai Liang by the day)

Lian has very long deer like antlers that are bright white, along with one white eye and long black hair. Her fangs are somewhat small for her age though her scales are decently prominent

Bi-Han's antlers are shorter but thicker, with cracks of blue showing through the bone in sharp patterns. He has the longest fangs in the family though his scales are less prominent

Kuai Liang's horns are comparatively tiny, about as tall as the width of a hand and gently curved, no branches. He's got ice blue eyes and the most prominent scales of the family, with many saying that when he fights he looks more dragon than man.

Frost has ram's horns that have the same patterns as Bi-Han's, bright white hair, and really sharp fangs, if a little short. Her scales are the exact same shade of blue as Kuai Liang's and appear in the exact same pattern as his do.

lemme know if y'all wanna hear more about this au bc I kinda like it

#Dragon Cryomancers #Prince Kuai Liang AU #kuai liang #bi han #frost mk #hanzo hasashi

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theninthdoor · 1 year

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baekhyun || ideal type; tarot reading

disclaimer: in my Ideal Type readings, I look into what the person in question is currently (consciously and unconsciously) attracted to! it’s not necessarily their perfect match or the one they will end up with.

✦ Impression (What is seen externally // Might not accuratelly represent the person):

cards: king of wands reversed, three of swords reversed, king of swords reversed

Oh… he likes people who look like they have a mean streak?? Intolerant, always in control; someone who shows little patience or consideration for those who move at a slower pace than them or those who prefer to do things in a different way. At the same time, this person would never tolerate people being impolite towards them. They would lash out right away, and demand an apology! Most likely introverted, they would just appear cold and distant, keeping everybody at arm's length and rarely showing them a smile… people would get nothing else from them. Still, this is a rule breaker - the only rules never allowed to be broken, would be their own… They would not explain themselves to others and neither would they follow the lead of someone they considered being bellow their own level of expertise/intelligence. Alternatively, this could also be the sort of person who purposefully breaks rules to show that they are not part of crowd, and don't wanna be seen as such - they are their own individual, and they think with their own mind! It also feels like Baekhyun fantasies about his ideal type having a whole tragic backstory that turned them into this type of person. Movie villain, with a tragic past - that's his ideal type (impression wise).

✦ Personality:

cards: ace of cups, the moon, eight of swords reversed

This goes well with that last portion of their impression… Under the whole mean, cold, intimidating mask would be a soft-hearted, nurturing individual. Someone who cares deeply about those close to them, and gives them all the love and attention in the world. Besides that, his ideal type should also be somewhat artistically inclined or, at least, have an eye/ear for art and music. Essentially, this would be a sensitive person; that type to feel a lot, cry easily and share their feelings openly. Generous and compassionate, they should also value deep and meaningful connections. However, this would still be someone who would often prefer to hide their real selves from others as a defense mechanism. Because they would feel so vulnerable, they'd be afraid that people would use that against them, and so they'd mask it with something else (in this case, coldness/insensitivity/meanness). Plus, I also feel like his ideal type is someone who'd risk it all for love, even though they wouldn't look like it at a first glance. This person would see no limits. Not only would they open up completely to their loved ones, but they would also do everything and anything for them, no matter how crazy!

✦ What his ideal type should provide in a relationship:

cards: nine of pentacles reversed, five of wands, three of pentacles

Baekhyun would like his ideal type to act as if they can't live without him - like life isn't fun when he's not around; like being by themselves isn't enough anymore, now that they know him. Even if they are quite independent and self-reliant, he would like them to sometimes act like they need his help for certain thing (such as opening a wine bottle or getting something from the top shelf lmao… tall king BBH). Basically, he wants to feel like they need him, and he wants them to ACT like they need him. He enjoys seeing people working hard to get his attention, even by putting on an act - just the effort, no matter how silly, would get him going. But, besides that, he would also enjoy being with someone who's responsible and realistic, and not just a fool in love. Someone who values the right things in life, and is always willing to learn more and to work hard for their goals (in the relationship, too, but not solely). Plus, it also feels like having some similar hobbies or interests would be a point in favor. He'd just like to have something else to discuss with them besides all of the lovey-dovey stuff.

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

#exo tarot #exo ideal type #kpop ideal type #kpop tarot #byun baekhyun #baekhyun tarot #exo baekhyun tarot

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dynmghts · 2 months

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SHELTER : seeing a threat barreling toward them (such as a storm, the shockwave from an explosion, or a building they’re in collapsing), sender holds the injured / incapacitated receiver close, turning their back to the threat to bear the brunt of the impact instead of the receiver.

bc u know izuku would

katsuki is painfully aware that midoriya izuku doesn't have a limit on what he'd do for him. he's risked his life time and time again, always pushing himself further than he should, just to keep bakugou katsuki out of harm's way ; the sludge villain. his kidnapping. the rescue. he scarcely remembers what happened in the paranormal liberation and final wars, but he was told, shown, and that was enough.

it was the one thing that bothered katsuki the most. this fact that, and he told endeavor this to his face, izuku never takes himself into account. more so when it was him. he swears it's been worse since the war.

the moment katsuki comes under a serious threat, izuku's self-preservation is called into question ; quite suddenly, dynamight will encounter something he might not dodge in time or move away from ... [ or neither : sometimes, it was simply on principle. ] ... and deku would be right there at his side. he would take the brunt of the incoming force if he had to. he'd weather it.

katsuki knows he would do the same if izuku couldn't stop him. he has done the same, in fact. that doesn't make him struggle with it less.

dynamight had been the one to rush into the building first, despite wounded shoulder and gash on his side from their prior engagement with a villain. dynamight had been the one to act on a plan. the first priority was to get injured civilians out of there, coordinating with others to take them so he could stay inside. his second priority was guiding unhurt civilians out, even if he had to snap out the instructions. with debris trickling down from the ceiling and bits of rubble clicking ominously against paved tile, though, the blond knew there was only a matter of time before a section collapsed, with or without him in it.

he should've known izuku would follow him in and participate in the efforts, but a part of him was glad - in the sense that the green-haired hero had always been better with people than he ever could be. they understood dynamight's instruction. they appreciated deku's better worded responses. they could work at it together this way, and with crimson observing the structure carefully as they worked further into the building, maybe they would be out before oncoming collapse.

as if anything were that simple.

katsuki isn't sure how far they'd gone into the building when he hears the ominous creaking and cracking. his eyes quickly turn to the nearby pillars, watching cracks web their way through the reinforced concrete in milliseconds, crumbling away quicker and quicker until the ceiling groans and chips away at itself. katsuki realises he scarcely has time to react. izuku does.

the ceiling gives way. katsuki reaches up to blast it with both hands. before he can, though, a strong force pushes him off his feet and to the ground - head cushioned by the fall, but wind knocked out of his lungs. the pressure to his side and shoulder earn a wince ; but, otherwise, he's unharmed.

crimson eyes slowly peel themselves open, blinking away the dust that settles across the new area while he coughs, heaves in a few breaths. first, he notices the weight on top of him. second, he notices the small confines of which they find themselves in. and third, as katsuki reaches to check over izuku, pain surging through his shoulder as he does, he has to withhold his tongue from swearing up a storm at the other : not because he prevented a worse scenario. not because katsuki couldn't enact the plan he came up with on the spot.

but because he didn't even think about himself, did he ?

the collapse wasn't pretty. did izuku take the brunt of it, then ? the entire area fell on them before either could get far away enough to avoid it, so surely, with that, he's been hurt somewhere ... is he not seeing it ?

❛ you- ❜ the words die before katsuki has the chance to snap them out. [ you idiot, i had it. i could've broken up the debris. my shoulder would've been fine, you'd be fine, we'd still be stuck here but at least you wouldn't have taken the weight of an entire fucking building, you self-sacrificing piece of- ] ❛ fuck. ❜ he grips izuku's face with gloved hands, then. his tone is steady ; angry, but with a quiet panic underneath. ❛ tell me where you're hurt. i can hardly see shit. ❜

@fightaers / HARD-TO-FIND HURT / COMFORT, ACCEPTING.

#fightaers #💥 ⸍ ii. answers.#💥 ⸍ ii. in character.#💥 ⸍ ii. verse: post-wars.#💥 ⸍ iv. bond: fightaers.#long post /#/ cam write a short response challenge (failed)#/ k.atsuki's decided he's going to get angry with him after tbh

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sally-mun · 1 year

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sorry i keep putting stuff in here but I thought of an interesting question this morning about the guardians. (and I don't mind if this takes you ages to do it's really fine lmao)

Where would you place your Guardians (to make it easier you can do the more 'younger' half of the family) in a ranking of... morally questionable or worse to actually morally good.

My money is on Locke or Sojo being at the bottom maybe unless we're counting Rex aka Tobor

YOU'RE RIGHT THIS DID TAKE ME "AGES" TO REPLY TO I'M SO SORRY.

Honestly tho this is a very interesting question, which is why I didn't want to answer it too quickly. The thing about the Guardians that's easy to lose sight of (as a whole, including those in BH:O we haven't gotten to address yet) is that, for the most part, most of them aren't exactly bad people, they just tend to have really shitty personalities -- or at a MINIMUM, some shitty character traits. On some level I guess I get it because it's a very isolated group that gets more and more repressed and toxic the longer it goes on, but that said I can appreciate the work someone does without wanting to grab a coffee with them.

Anyway, let me see what I can come up with here. I'll do my best.

MOST VIRTUOUS - LEAST VIRTUOUS

Athair: I think it's kind of funny that I'm putting Athair at the topic when he's largely considered a disgrace among the BH itself. But honestly, I think a lot of them know deep down inside that what Athair didn't isn't actually bad, it's just not something that directly benefited them. This is a guy that gave up EVERYTHING in his life, from a pretty young age even, to help others that were desperately in need. Athair did way more than just give up his duties as a Guardian; he gave up his relationships, his home, his reputation (especially for breaking Nemo out of prison) and even just basic comfort. The life he leads with the Lost Tribe is orders of magnitude harder than the life he has on Angel Island, but he willingly chose it because it was the right thing to do.

Sabre: Okay, I think we can all agree that Sabre can be a real tool, but the main reason he was so obnoxious was because he was so frustrated by the sheer volumes of injustice that he couldn't do anything about. He's the sort of person that doesn't let the little things go because he kind of doesn't see anything as a little thing. His sense of justice is one of his main motivations in life. The main reason why I'm ranking him behind Athair is because, while he does do a lot to enact change and also has to risk/give up things that are important to him for his morals, there's not much he can do that could ever really top the incredible sacrifices that Athair had to make for his cause.

Janelle-Li: I would say that she also has a very strong sense of justice, but that's also kind of a natural side effect when you're directly facing discrimination for most of your life. A lot of people, way more than just the Brotherhood, treated her differently simply because she was a woman, so she had plenty of drive to promote change in her world. Janelle did a ton of good for Echidnaopolis and the Brotherhood, but she took a more subtle approach to do so, mostly in the form of leading by example. There's nothing wrong with that, to be sure, but it also results in changes coming at a much slower pace overall, and sometimes it doesn't always drive home why bad behaviors are bad, so there are going to be people that never learn the lesson. I'd like to think that, had she lived longer, maybe she also would've made some bigger, bolder moves as well.

Thunderhawk: There's probably not much I can say here about Thundy that y'all don't already know, because I'm pretty sure he's almost universally everyone's favorite (living) BH member. He has pretty much the same morals as Janelle, and also shares insights into what discrimination and abuse can look like. The main reason he's ranking below her instead of equal with her is that he DOES have a bad habit of drawing lines in the sand once he's come to the conclusion that someone is bad; we saw this both in how he treated Nemo and how he reacted to Locke's treatment of Elias. All of his kind words and empathy go out the window at that point, and it can take quite a lot for him to change his mind again.

Spectre: In an interesting way, I see Spectre in much the same way I see Janelle, but the key difference between them is that he doesn't have nearly as much courage. Janelle was very vocal about her thoughts and feelings and used that as a persuasive tool when fighting adversity, whereas Spectre learned very early on that it was not safe to speak his mind. As a result, he has a strong sense of morality and why things are right or wrong, but he does very little about it. If it's something he can solve with an action, he will absolutely do so, but if it requires a discussion? Spectre is borderline useless in that situation. Unfortunately, strong morals are almost meaningless if you're unable to put them into action.

Sojourner: We all know Sojo's not a pleasant person to be around, and that he can verge into abusive territories when uninterested in holding back. He IS aware that he shouldn't do things like that, but there are two problems there: 1) He may or may not actually feel bad afterwards, depending on how justified he feels to act out, and 2) even when he doesn't feel justified, he still comes up with excuses for why things are fine and he doesn't need to change. It wasn't that bad, they'll be over it soon, it's just the way I am, life isn't fair... etc etc etc, I'm sure we've all heard these excuses before. I mean yeah, it is good that he DOES occasionally call himself out for being shitty, but if he doesn't then adjust his behavior or outlook to reduce and eliminate that quality, then it's functionally the same as not calling himself out at all.

Locke: Pretty sure you guys don't need me to go into detail here, because we all know all too well how many times Locke has crossed the line without looking back. He unfortunately has the perfect mental recipe of 1) recognizing that the things he does hurts others, but 2) convincing himself that doing so is necessary. I won't even tangle this up with the fact that he feels like his actions will be a net positive in the end, because he is DIRECTLY presented with evidence, OVER AND OVER, from lots of different people, that his information is inaccurate, that there exist far less harmful ways to achieve his goals, and that he lacks the consent of those he's affecting. Even with his belief that he's had a vision, even with the fact that he undoubtedly has mental illnesses affecting how he thinks and behaves, he actively chooses the methods that necessarily and irreparably cause others harm, purely to satisfy himself and his needs. I can't even cut him a break from the fact that his illnesses are tainting how he perceives and processes information, because he DID have that period where he was in the hospital and received some of the help he desperately needed and showed a marked improvement even in that short time -- and then chose to return to methods he knew were harmful purely for his own benefit. And unfortunately, there was no more reaching him after that.

MORITORI: MORAL OR...?

I kinda wanted to address Moritori separately from everyone else, and not necessarily because he's not "really" part of the Brotherhood. An argument could be made that he -functionally- is a part of them and therefore counts, but to me that issue is kind of a red herring. The thing to remember about Moritori is that he's playing a very different game, and on a VERY different scale. He doesn't do the horrible things he does simply for shits and giggles, he does them because he's DEEP under cover in enemy territory and trying to systematically weaken his enemies enough so that his side can be victorious. That's not really uncommon or unexpected for someone in his position; he's basically the equivalent of a CIA operative. If he intends to gain any ground for HIS side of the war between the Brotherhood and the Legion, then yeah, he's going to have to get his hands dirty.

So as far as his morality is concerned, I feel like it's kind of not fair to judge him because we're necessarily looking at him as the bad guy, because our POV is implicitly aligned with the Brotherhood's. From a BH perspective, yeah, it's very easy to say that Moritori is a despicable person that does unconscionable things -- but from the Legion's perspective, this guy has made OUTRAGEOUS sacrifices purely for their benefit. He, like Athair, literally had to give up everything in his life in the hopes of helping a people desperately in need -- and he doesn't even get the benefit of BEING with those people like Athair does. Everything he does is motivated by the idea that the Brotherhood needs to be stopped, that the Legion is relying on him, that his family needs him to do these things. If it was someone on our side doing these same things in a Nazi regime during WWII, would we judge our spy for the individual things they had to do, or would we hail them as a war hero for taking down the enemy and saving our people? And if we were to do that, does that mean that the individual acts they had to commit against the other side are now fine? They're still horrible things, but we forgive them for those things in that context. But they still did them, and people suffered for it -- just not our people, so we don't tend to extend that compassion.

Anyway, this is just a very long way to say that Moritori's morals are complicated. He does a LOT of horrible things that hurt a ton of people, but I also think that context is key, and the fact that he's under cover in the middle of a war adds at least some mud to the water. The Brotherhood would consider him less than scum, but the Legion would hail him as one of the greatest heroes of all time for single-handedly taking on the entire Brotherhood to save them. Who's right and who's wrong depends deeply on your point of view.

#The Brotherhood #charleecat-bat #this was an interesting mental exercise to finally go through #SORRY AGAIN IT TAKES ME SO LONG

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sunskate · 1 year

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Watching the videos of Madi lifting Gabi made me think about how important it is to fully trust your partner while being lifted on the ice and how amazing it is that (truly just thinking about VM here) Scott never dropped Tessa and how many quotes there are from Tessa about Scott never dropping her or about her never being worried about her safety. Not saying at all that women can’t lift other women (or men/men), and I’m really glad that Madi and Gabi are modeling safe development the way they are and inspiring so many people! It just goes to show how much again, I think, you have to fully trust your partner and how safe people who have reached the top and are constantly pushing the sport must feel in their partners arms as they are doing acrobatic lifts on ice! On ice! It’s crazy. And it’s beautiful.

you don't often see skaters genuinely opening up what the sport is, but gabi and madi are - i love it. that's using your influence and your entire being to lead the way ❤️

all credit to scott for keeping tessa safe for 22 years - he has the protector streak in general which is times a million towards tessa (that time during TYCT when she was across a circle of skaters from him and fell where kaetlyn osmond might have ran her over, it was like he'd been electrocuted, he reacted so viscerally) - he probably would have sacrificed his own safety for hers. but there was also a little bit of luck involved-

because sometimes accidents happen. it sounds like solene and marko had a fluky fall on an easy transition - he caught a rut, i think? it doesn't make him less trustworthy. and i never saw such a fast rotational lift as marjo and zak's in their cha cha slide, but he says he hates lifts and they make him nervous. so although feeling safe in your partner's arms can be romanticized, any team who has that earned it step by step with consistent work and conscientious professionalism.

one thing i notice- safety isn't only the lifting partner's responsibility, it takes two - tessa kept herself safe in part by being strong enough that scott didn't have to do all the work - she was balancing him, she was moving herself into positions so he didn't have to. they always presented a traditional woman/man dynamic as a team, so this idea that he kept her safe fits that, but it's funny how they rarely talk about or are asked about how good a liftee she was and how that contributed to him being able to keep her safe. her praising him for this i feel like is acknowledging how much he cared as much as the fact that he never dropped her

oh, and safety issues are even more crucial in pairs, where the physical risk is higher. i did see one pair at a couple competitions last season where i didn't think the man had enough regard for his partner, like he would get visibly annoyed when she made a mistake, and she would take it as if that was her due 👀 so i always worry about them when they compete. unlike rikuryu - if you watch their warmups, he often practices miming the lifts without her, like he's mentally and physically going through the motion of the lifts, and he's another who's very very protective

but anyway, you're right- it's amazing that they do these feats on ice. and a team with real care and connection, like madi and gabi, is beautiful🥺🥰

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siswritesyanderes · 1 year

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Hey just a random anon poppin' in to say love your fic on Deltarune, ngl at first thought I wouldn't like it had been reading a lot of stuff looking for a good yandere kris as I was craving it but all of them left me disconnected how ironic with your fic title it finally scratched that itch and even allowed me to start reading some other stuff now feeling more connected to the idea of kris

However, don't think I've found one yet that tops your idea of them and the way you write them (I've also only looked on Tumblr so far but with how great yours has been at having me on the edge of my seat I don't know if I'll ever find one that tops you)

And goner! Goner is amazing! I usually end up either just accepting or hating a lot of writers who insert characters that feel like mostly oc material but goner doesn't at all and fits really well with the story (Really impressive tbh cuz sometimes on first readings even when a character isn't the op oc insert and actually plays into the story I can end up feeling eh about them just due to deciding they are but goner just immediately on the first few lines captivated me)

It probably helps that most of it is your interpretation on them since Kris also doesn't have much personality known about them so cause of that nothing feels screaming out of place or wrong instead it reminds me of when I read a lot of au stuff- with fics that feel like their trying to capture the magic of the source material I think I get a lot more critical but your writing in this fic has it's own magic and lore

Like why they're both obsessed! The SOUL is pretty much drug-like and addicting to such a point without their guidance Kris is crippled, this not only creates amazing tension with their weakened state but also really makes you think about if it's actually even good for either of them to pine after the very soul that will take them both over. But as the soul we also have a life not of our own to live, to see, and explore every possibility and every outcome. The reader is almost god-like with resets but an easily chained-up one without a host. Which also creates an understanding of why Kris chooses to put the reader in a cage, limit them and create interest and mystery but also because that feeling of power over something so powerful has to also be somewhat addicting and why they view the soul as wholeheartedly (pun intended) *theirs*

And it also shows how much they're willing to go through to get it back that even while weakened and at every possible disadvantage they still want to risk it all.

And honestly with all of this really do feel like the SOUL in this situation, which may be my favorite part as the main element you do keep in deltarune is that feeling of playing a game. Is there that concern for goner? Yes, but do I also want to see how far goner and kris will go tearing each other apart to see who gets the SOUL? Also yes. Recreates that aspect of deltarune very well including the accurate freak out every person playing games has when the character their playing makes a sudden decision [See goner killing a monster cuz they called them Kris] and it perfectly ties it back into the plot and uses it to make further tension as the SOUL just goes along this new path while Kris is freaking out thinking there have already been resets because of it.

Just? Love? So? Much?

Keep doing what you're doing- I hope my feedback has only influenced you in positive ways- (slightly debated on taking out the more negative aspects where I mentioned things I disliked in other fics and things I hyper-fixated on or possibly misremembered outa fear it would make you change yourself too much- I have no idea what I'm talking about or what makes a story a good story only what makes my brain go brrrrrrr and that's all you should read this as, someone just really over-excited rn- ill probably calm down later)

Wow, thank you so much! This was an absolutely delightful ask/comment! I'm so glad you've been enjoying Verge of Connection so far! It's been very fun to write. 😁

#the verge of connection #yandere deltarune #positive feedback

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beaujagr · 9 months

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I know my brain is broken and my body is blue-screening, and I know that I made every good, bad, and ugly choice that got me to where I am today,

but I sometimes think that if a fraction of the people I care about would expend a fraction of the energy I do towards the legwork of our connection and relationship, it would ease a lot.

like do they have to do it all, or meet where I'm at? No, and i doubt most people would if they could.

but could they do more? almost always. Could they do any? sometimes. and some of them do! I do see it when they do!

when you are a cup that is overflowing from the top and leaking out cracks in the sides, sometimes, it would help if someone would start bailing you out a little, or holding you to slow the leaks.

I have been too much and not enough my entire life, always too much enthusiasm and unfocused or hyperfocused energy that eventually gets squashed and then I am too much negativity and sadness that eventually gets shamed or becomes annoying or is a bummer, and even though I try to put 110% into every relationship when I can, it is so rarely reciprocated to even a glass half full.

I get thirsty, and I drink it empty, because what's filling me and overflowing isn't water, it's a void that sucks in as much as it crushes and eventually spits out. It is true in many ways that those of us not given the love we are told we are getting or supposed to get as children crave attention, but more than anything we crave not having to love ourselves on our own.

If we have to keep trying to love ourselves on our own - to have to schedule every social engagement or intimate moment and remind people of every event because no one else prioritizes those things, to have to educate everyone we love on how to love and how to express love in ways that are safe and helpful and fulfilling, to do the work to build relationships and maintain them and communicate every step of the way, to meet everyone's needs and respect everyone's boundaries no matter how much those boundaries & needs infringe upon our own needs and boundaries, to make up for the times people let us down and fail us and bail on us, to have the silence waiting for other people to pick up the conversation after promises that we would not have to wait so long and claims that we matter to them -

if we have to keep trying to love ourselves on our own, when we were never given reasons to love ourselves, we were not shown what it was like to love ourselves and find inherent value in ourselves, when we know that any day we are not operating at 110%, we risk spilling our cup with no one else willing to refill it, and we may never drink from many cups again.

I know I am a void, endlessly hungry and thirsty, destructive if I am not at my best, but that does not mean no one should feed or water me, that does not mean my cup should be cracked and broken. I did not make me this way alone, and every day I slice my fingers on a new crack in my facade, more of the void spills out.

I would give anything to feel like I am not just spilling over endlessly with something I can't use to nourish myself, and to feel like community is an actually real thing, and that relationships could be balanced, not 50/50 all the time but instead filling cups that aren't full, and balancing out the load when too much pours out.

I can't be enough. Too much or too little, and never able to find that sweet spot, because alone and without others reciprocating my efforts, I am just a broken cup.

#rambling #mental illness #disability #neurodivergence #trauma #religious trauma #poverty trauma #generational abuse #relationships #communication #bad metaphors #tired

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hereforyourdispleasure · 8 months

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Commission Corruption/Regicide Joke/OG Darian comparisons

So I won't be going over the subtle differences between Regicide Joke and Commission Corruption routes because they're fairly similar.

The main difference being RJ Darian still works towards Darian's original goal of the power of the head of the commission being nonexistent/shared out equally to the point such a position has no purpose, while CC Darian takes that control and goes along with it. This isn't to say RJ Darian doesn't have a position of power in the commission, he does, he's literally removed all hierarchical power from Reg, using him moreso as a mascot. It's just that he's still functioning, and wanting to function, as part of a collective. For the betterment of the individual employees

CC Darian had the ideal of making the commission a better place, and has enforced the rules and regulations wanted so that employees aren't treated as they were. But obviously, he's placed himself at the top, with the understanding that there is a chair to fill. Without that position filled, the commission risks disorder, risks someone else trying to take over.

Both of these versions acted in response to their separation from the group. RJ just carries on, accepts the whole death thing as another shit thing that's happened. But definitely has a sense of ego about it all. He's survived death multiple times, Reg has nothing on him, blah blah. Does he miss his friends? Yes. But they pushed him out, and he's got a job to do, a goal to fully achieve.

CC is just pissed off at this point. He feels like he's put in a lot of effort, he's continuously tried his hardest to protect everyone, make sure they're ok and got what they need, and not only does the person he worked to protect and transport to live the life she wanted tell him he's not part of the group and try to manipulate him, the guy who's complaining about him and saying he needs to be talked to won't talk to him. Despite CC trying to encourage him to, despite CC asking both Orpheus and Oliver to talk it out to him and tell him what he did and have a go at him, nobody does the intervention they keep complaining needs to happen. Instead, it's just manipulation and threats. So he does what any definitely logically thinking person would do in that situation and just cuts himself off from everyone, seizes the controls he's been messing around with, and maintains his isolated experience, except now at the top

And so the big difference between these two and Darian as he is how they are with the people around them. Og Darian still very much respects Five, tries to understand his perspective, tries to help. Despite his own acknowledgement of how shitty Five can be sometimes. RJ and especially CC Darian both do not have time for that bullshit anymore. They both see it as there was never any chance of Five actually liking him because of his career, that he continuously complains but hates when people try to sort the problem, that no matter what he does Five will complain about feeling useless and inferior and that he's a coward for complaining for an intervention without following through. Similar thing for Rags, because what she did was part of the breaking away from the group. Darian respects her, wants her to be safe, worries for her because he knows she's being too naïve with Jim, dislikes that she did that but is generally fine with her. RJ and CC absolutely not vibing. They both feel like she used them- for protection, for transport, for gifts, and still got expected more of. They just see her as developing a power hungry and manipulative attitude because of being with Jim and just would have a lot of resentment

In terms of relationships I can see RJ and CC as being a lot more possessive. Darian isn't possessive, tries to make sure it stays that way because freedom is a big thing for him. He's had experience of restrictive relationships, and is absolutely disgusted by it. RJ maintains this idea of freedom, of course, that's what he's trying to do at the commission, he's just attached because at least someone hasn't thrown him out like the rest. CC couldn't care less. If he has to be protective of his partner, especially when they're insulted for standing by him, he will absolutely be protective. All three of these versions of Darian can provide for their partners, og wants his partners to provide for themselves so they don't become dependent on him. CC would give his partner as much as possibly ever needed. Plus more

Both RJ and CC are a lot more confident in their positions of power, og doesn't really like the position of power unless it means holding power over threats to him and his friends

CC pure definition of unethical businessman. He fucks with shit just to fuck with shit, maintains his power. Doesn't care about the ethics (aka lack of) with manipulating the people around him, because as he sees it, the people he actually trusted not to did it to him and used him. He's sick of having to play along to everything and is dead set on his work via whatever means. RJ continues on og's questionable ethics, really leaning into the (cough cough killing and replacing every higher up that og did cough cough) lack of ethics when dealing with people within the commission, and soon other timeline agencies, who have done shit. Aka employee mistreatment, dodgy experiments ect. Og's ethics have definitely grown more questionable as time's gone on. Obviously not by much, one of his first posts was literally him breaking into archives, he was confused about Five saying he'd killed the founder which was older him because "Oop there goes my plan out the window" (more on that in another essay 😉). He's dodgy, but he has ethics and restrictions

In conclusion: I like the corrupt business aesthetic but only when the person has literally dragged themself to that position of power. Slay Darian. Shakira Shakira 🏳️‍🌈

#alt darian talk #darian talk #ok so maybe the first sentence was a lie

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