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jikookuntold · 3 months

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Sorry but don't you think it was already for Jikookers the moment JK's video was leaked ?

Saw many explanations and excuses saying it's made up, set up, fake etc. But really? There was no original source of video to prove it was edited. We can clearly see it's him in his apartment and bam running around him. It was filmed in Feb from his hairstyle, when bam was still with him. I saw some of big Jikokkers here having a relieved sigh when he said he don't have a gf now but He only said he don't have a gf in September. Tbh enough time to casually date and breakup with a girl.. which I've always thought his dating pattern is. So technically he wasn't lying either. And didn't he said he don't feel like wanting anyone and just want to concentrate on work for now? Doesn't that mean he don't have any partner but will have a gf in future ? In short not only he denied he had gf at the moment but also anyone special in his life. I don't think 'homophobic country' excuses applies as they literally enlisted together infront of everyone in the same country's military.

Also saw someone saying it can be a friend. But think.. who hugs some random girl in their apartment when their partner is not present there? Imagine spotting your bf hugging some random woman like that in apartment when they are alone at night. Doesn't make sense right ?

Another category of jikookers was going with 'open relationship' explanation but still not accepting Jikook is not romantically involved and everything was just them reading it wrong. Because if anyone listened to things Jimin said its clear af he only want to be in exclusive relationship.. maybe JK too but he was not even available for a serious relationship then.

Only a small percentage of Jikookers accepted its real and he has a gf irl or atleast not dating Jimin.

When i see Jikookers trying to deny it and find every excuses, it sounds like taekookers who still think Taennie was fake and army who think it's fake videos and pics.

But even worse for taekookers because one was seen holding his gf's hand in Paris while another was hugging his gf in his apartment all while choosing songs only about fucking women 😭 ik he said its not about his real life but only he chose songs like that. Others wrote their own songs but Tae's songs weren't autobiographical either and none of them were about fucking women or hetero sex. If it was rhythm he liked them they could've wrote some meaningful or even funny lyrics but nope all were about sex with women. If that doesn't tell about JK's sexuality and interests idk what will, 3D's choreo was fucking gross too. He's naturally drawn to what he likes. Tkkrs survive by lying and living in delusional world denying reality.. now jikookers also doing the same thing imo 🤷‍♀️ so idk why you have to make taekookers understand their ship is not real when Jikook isn't real too and 90% chance JK is straight af.

First of all, there is no reason for me to believe that blurry video posted on a chinese platform is Jungkook. Look for yourself, where is his lip piercing? Or the scar on his cheek? Or the mole under his lip? Huh? 😼

Wonder why that sasaeng who was spying for hours on a perfect angle on his window to catch him with the girl, didn't use a better cam instead of a toaster so their faces don't look like bread loafs? Even a normal phone has a better camera. Why in the other photos they leaked of him alone in his house the quality is good and the angle is completely different? When they explain this, I can agree that this ghost-face is JK. Otherwise it's just someone with bangs backhugging a giant pregnant lady wearing a night gown behind an open window on a breezy night.

About your mental gymnastic, in the listening party, fans were leaving comments asking "do you have a girlfriend?" And his answer was addressing that repetitive question, not the video. And don't give me this category of jikookers that percentage of jikookers thing. I don't care about anyone else's opinion, they can have their own, I have mine.

Don't you dare to compare that thing with Taennie. Taennie had 10 different HD photos leaked together and many obvious clues and hints proving the photos and the relationship was real, and even biggest and the most reliable media sources like Rolling Stone, BBC, Billboard, Dispatch, JTBC, etc wrote articles about them dating and being spotted together. JK didn't even wait for two days to react to that nonsense, but Tae was totally silent about it for almost two years. On the contrary, he started it all with following Jennie on IG, and then fueled it with more hints and wearing matching jewelry. Kmedia said they have been separated for months, so he could come up and say "I don't have a girlfriend" just like his dongsaeng but he didn't 🤷‍♀

Did you know Ricky Martin, George Michael, Freddie Mercury and many other queer singers for decades sang songs about having sex with women? Some was even their own lyrics while they were gay af lol. And you say Tae is gayer than JK because he didn't sing about having sex with women 😹

And how Jikook enlisting together has anything to do with this at all? Who said anything about homophobic country? Do guys deny having girlfriend in a homophobic country? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Did Jikook went to apply for buddy system and say "Sir, we are gay and in love, we can't stand being separated, please let us enlist together 😃🏳‍🌈" Nope.

The military of this homophobic country made this system available for close friends and relatives between the ages 18 and 28 to minimize the mental and physical traumas of mandatory service, and they are not going to ask them if they are having sex.

We always said Jikook can't live without each other, but it was people like you who come up with things like "they can't stand each other" "they only look close on cameras" "they don't care about each other" "they have different and separated lives" "they broke up" 🤡 Now that it is proved that Jikook is the closest and the most inseparable duo in BTS you are still brave on your shit? 💩

And since that video is your last straw I made this edit for you, I hope you like it 😻

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sevicia · 17 days

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Writer Guy's only "friend" who sucks majorly. Notes under da cut. Heart.

Firstly ☝️ he's heavily inspired by the experience of having someone follow you around even after you have told them very explicitly to stop doing so. Writer Guy will look him dead in the eye and say "I don't care about anything you have to say. Leave me alone, you annoy the shit outta me", and he'll just go "Bro you're always so funny LOL I'm probably the only one that gets ur sense of humor. Anyways, about my new podcast idea..."

This guy's deal is that he's obsessed with others' perception of him. He's an aspiring influencer and can't decide between being a youtuber, a streamer, or having a podcast. He's into crypto and defends NFTs like it's his job.

He met Writer Guy in college and has stuck to him like a leech ever since, even though they only had a few classes together. His reasoning was that Writer Guy seemed like the lone-wolf type and thus would attract attention with his ~mysterious~ charm, when in reality he was so boring that no one really paid him any mind. If you ask any of their ex-classmates, you'll find that no one really remembers either of them.

He spends a lot of time in r/shortguys and gets frustrated that he can't relate to the whole "women only ever pay attention to tall guys and we manlets are all martyrs" thing cause he's never even tried to get with a girl (he will lie about this). He's gay as hell but in almost complete denial. Genuinely believes stuff like "it's not gay with the socks on".

Unserious images that remind me of him:

I also gotta mention that his role in Mary and Writer Guy's story is very, very minimal, and that he never actually meets Mary. His story is a typical yaoi one where he falls in love with some guy and has one of those cliché "I'm not gay... why do I feel like this towards another man ?!?!!" moments. I chose to do it this way cuz I think it's funny as fuck to have him experience a romcom type thing while Writer Guy is basically Spongebob in the Silent Hill corridor.

I admit I'm not 100% sold on his hair, but it's brown for sure. Why? It just makes sense.

Some design notes including the other two:

Writer Guy is generally apathetic and would be considered boring at a surface level by 99,9% of the population. He teaches philosophy (ethics, specifically) at the college Mary attends, though they weren't aware of each other before The Events. His lectures are notoriously boring and many of his students sleep thru class or just skip them completely, but he passes them all anyways.

He's a writer in his spare time and writes trashy extreme horror on his (anonymous) blog, which is how Mary becomes aware of him. Stuff happens, his superiors (who are at best ambivalent towards him) find out about his hobby, he gets fired and doesn't care enough to defend himself or to raise any concerns about the school's attitude towards its teachers' private lives.

I also forgot to include his "On" design in the above pic, so here, a comparison:

I'm very obviously still figuring out how to draw him, but the drawing on the right is what he looks like at work. Just plain dorky and someone you would not look twice at.

I would also talk about his relationship with Mary, but for that I'd need to talk about Mary first, which I can't do rn cuz this post is already long enough and it's nearing 3 AM and she makes me absolutely BONKERS insane to the point I barely even know where to start when I wanna talk about her.

She's the only OC I have ever made a playlist for. I wish she was someone else's character so I could look at her without having to do the work myself.

A little fun fact about her is she used to dye her hair black before The Events. All I got for you rn.

OK that's all from me. For neoww...... Muah!

#diary #oc tag #oc talk #oc: mary #my art #the other 2 will get names someday too trust.#f slur #long post #oc: agnes #<- see? trust! :3

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hologramcowboy · 11 months

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Just a random thought that popped into my head about Elta & Jensen..... I don't think she was as insecure about herself back when she started dating Jensen as she is now. I think after she and Jensen started dating, she realized just how much women fangirled over and wanted Jensen and since he spent 9 months out of the year in Vancouver filming SPN, ALONE (most of the time), she started getting incredibly insecure and petty, especially since we all know there's no way Jensen wasn't sleeping his way thru Vancouver, and that's when the plastic surgery began. She figured if she could look like his "ideal" or "dream" woman, that she could keep him from looking elsewhere (i mean, why else would she write shit like "he's mine, bitches" on a pic of Jensen for a fan?) Too bad she hasnt realized that LOOKS DONT KEEP A MAN.

I'm guessing she realized that Jensen was going to do whatever he wanted so she decided to do the same, i.e Steeb. But at this point, she keeps up with the plastic surgery bc once u start, u can't stop. Jensen, unfortunately, isn't going to leave her. She knows that if he was going to, he would've done so already. I think he's "settled" on the idea of staying with her bc if he hasn't left her after everything she's done and how she's treated him, then there's nothing that will make him leave her. It's why I don't follow him on Twitter or IG anymore. I'm sick of seeing her ugly mug all over my timelines.

I'm serious starting to wonder about his mental wellbeing. He keeps pushing her as if she had talent or any redeeming quality. She does not. She is a talentless, classless bimbo with no soul so the fact that he endorses her is deeply creepy to me and, like you, I stopped following him because of her. A very long time ago. The saddest part is it's not just him posting about her but how pathetically, fakely he does it. Like he is not capable of real love, authenticity and responsibility. I'm more disappointed in the superficial man he comes off as when he makes posts about her and I end up feeling sad for her. I know she made her own bed but...he's a shitty husband. Sorry not sorry. I would divorce him with the speed of light and never look back. This is just my preference and opinion, of course, but though Jensen looks like my dream prince charming, he appears to be made of cardboard on the inside. Wrapping is beautiful but it fades, what stays is the soul and a soul that cannot be authentic or love cannot connect to someone elsel, not truly. This is one of those days where I wish he would just fall suddenly in real love with someone else and start living. Because right now he is just existing, arrogantly but sadly.

As for looking like his dream woman, Danneel is fooling herself. You cannot change yourself to meet that for anyone because it's something that comes from them. From their soul and their core desires. She's trying to fabricate herself into something she will never truly be, if she really loved Jensen she would let him go. Because he clearly does have an ideal and he should be living it. I hope he finds whoever or whatever circumstance/experience he is looking for in life.

#jensen critical #anti danneel #anti jenneel

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bcacstuff · 1 year

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Its not her, but would like the 'gorgeous blonde' if there is one, to be Anna L. I really think she's lovely, but is too nice for him and the way I've seen him treat women. Yes, personally seen him, not just gossip.

What is it that people want to see him so eagerly with a woman or someone? And then when there's nothing why try to make something happen, by reviving women he follows (and follow him or not) where we already established that there's nothing there....

Yes, she's probably a lovely woman, though I've never met her and you really can't tell anything from IG pics/posts about a person.

Also, we've no idea what he promises them, or how he treats women. I don't think he treats them bad. He's just not the guy that easily commits. He's the flirt, that's what we know and can see. Don't know how bad that is, depends on those women. If you're totally green you might fall for it and have your heart broken afterwards, but if you're not that green anymore you can sense that kind of type miles away.

Anon 2, will you please look at her IG beyond the stories and the first post. She's frequently in Scotland, her parents have a house there I believe, or there's family. It says nothing at all. Leave this woman alone, and lets hope she finds happiness whenever she's ready for the real deal!

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twopoppies · 1 year

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Harry's already self conscious about interacting with women because the media and Harries say he is sleeping with every woman he looks at. I would hate for Larries to make him self conscious about interacting with men because they think he is sleeping with every man he looks at and is constantly cheating on Louis. I can't believe how the fandom reacted to him posting a pic of Alessandro and adding hearts, or him being papped with his good looking personal trainer. Just leave Harry alone please. I much prefer seeing him papped with close friends than beards but I have no doubt that many in the fandom would prefer him to have a beard because the moment Holivia ended they were already lining up his next beard. Crazy. The idol situation should always be for him not to have a beard (even if it's unlikely) rather than getting excited about the next. Anyway, Harries project their fantasies on him when they see him beside a woman, Larries are ready to accuse him of cheating on Louis when they see him beside a man, and they're so angry on behalf of Louis. I'd hate if he felt that he had to have a beard to keep Larries happy as well as Harries.

I mean, I really don't think someone is a larrie if they're fantasizing about him sleeping with every man he breathes next to. There are plenty of solo stans who think he's queer and are more than happy to jump to conclusions that make it look as though Harry and Louis are no longer together. Regardless, I agree with your overall point. Leave the guy alone and just let him live.

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officialtayley · 2 months

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their whole divorce was odd. because iirc it was april that hayley asked for a divorce but in may he would still share some paramore-related stuff and even comment that their singer is pretty under a paramore post... like ik they didn't want anyone to know yet but still that was weird af. imagine h seeing that her ex she left comments that she was pretty, or not even her but her family / friends that knew what he did to her... then later in 2018 he shared a pic of her with alf for women's day. like you cheated on her so many times so just leave her alone now?? also all of that just shows how defeated hayley was because she couldn't set any boundaries like she agreed to be seeing her abuser for a year after she ended things with him just to share a dog. like now we know how much he hurt her, and that she knows that she was taken advantage of at such a young age, and that she absolutely despises him, and she still agreed... also this man has no shame because you fucked up so bad and yet he chose not to cut her off even when he already started dating lisa instead he got a tattoo of alf... i'm gonna throw up. so happy that it's all past now because man i just hate him so much

yup. he was literally so awful and was 100% taking advantage of hayley that whole time. she couldn't have a proper split because he wasn't going to allow it. i'm glad that she eventually was able to cut him off and keep alf for herself and get to where she is now.

also, in 2017/2018 he'd literally comment or find hate posts about him and tag hayley and/or say he screenshot it and was sending it to her. he literally just wouldn't leave her alone. as if she'd care like i bet she said similar shit about him to her own friends

#anon #answered

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thefeedress · 3 years

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FFA MUSINGS

I was 17 when I learned the terms "feeder" "feedee" and "feederism" from stumbling across one of those trash documentaries about the kink. Apparently, my sexuality revolved around extremes and predators: creepy straight men coercing naive women into transforming their bodies and their lives - the women didn't particularly seem to be getting off on it or even have much agency in the whole thing. The men were awful. (Sometimes, these days, I look back and wonder how much all the negatives of what I saw were exaggerated by the editing…)

That was my lightbulb moment, where I discovered the label for something very personal and private that I'd had all my life but always felt confused and ashamed about. I now also had the pleasure of feeling extra disgusting and very alone, having been shown what horrible company I was in, and that I now knew I was a feeder, but apparently all feeders were men.

Any furtive investigations online (in the reasonably early days of the internet) seem to confirm this suspicion: female feeders were not A Thing, there might possibly be one or two others out there at best. Male gainers only seemed to exist in their own niche in gay subculture, and although I was happy they were out there somewhere living their best lives, they were obviously Not For Me.

I was 34 when after years of pushing it all to the back of my mind, I finally gave in. I've been with the same (non-feedist) partner since my early 20s, so I just assumed that I'd never be able to explore it irl anyway, and that was that. I can't remember what happened or why I decided that I had to try to find some others to connect with, even just to chat with, but in the end (with my partner's blessing) I found and joined Feabie (of which I have many opinions but I'll leave those for another time…) and interacted with other feedists online for the first time in my life.

Guess what: straight male feedees exist. They exist, and there's fucking loads of them!! Tons of the buggers in my inbox all day every day for weeks. Pretty heady experience going from outcast freak to Much Sought After Item - apparently female feeders really are quite rare, or we don't have much of an online presence (or most of us are lurking in a secret lair somewhere that the others haven't invited me to, rude….) or they're also out there somewhere thinking they're the only one.

The unbridled glee of feeling popular and desirable for being something I'd always felt ashamed of did wear off a teensy bit after the endless onslaught of "hey" "hi" "how u" "ayy babygurl" "I'm looking for a feeder please accommodate all my kinks even though I'm a total stranger and I clearly don't give a shit about you as a human being" "You're a woman on the internet I'm entitled to your attention don't be difficult what's your problem" and my current favourite, the bizarrely ominous "Can I ask ur opinion?" (The answer is no my friend, if I wanted to be spammed with anonymous torso pics that I'm meant to manufacture comments about that you can get off to I'd have asked YOU.)

But. I'm still completely overjoyed that male feedees exist, that I've spoken to so many cool and interesting and lovely guys, that I've had experiences I'd always assumed I wouldn't, that I FINALLY MET OTHER FFAs and they are awesome and now I'm close friends with one and it's freaking GREAT. All of this has also lead my partner and I to discover polyamory and now I'm in love with two people who love me back NOBODY EVER SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO THAT WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE TELL ME

There are so many nuances and preferences I'd never considered. I knew what I liked and that's what I sought out in terms of porn and that was that. Actually talking to feedees and learning about the whole spectrum of things they each did or didn't enjoy or want to participate in was a revelation, and also helped me clarify my own preferences myself.

There are still things I've yet to come to terms with or decide how to feel about. The main things I'd always felt guilty or ashamed of were less to do with fat or fat guys, it was the feeding itself.

Where being an FFA is concerned - I like to think that if I'd ever been lucky enough to have a fat boyfriend when I was younger, I wouldn't have been shallow enough to care what anyone else thought. It's possible I'm giving my younger self too much credit; I know for certain that some people in my life would have made nasty comments, I was also hugely insecure myself, and I have no idea what it really would have been like. I have no doubt that living all my life in a fatphobic society has affected me in more ways than I'm even aware of (same as everyone else in some way, I'm guessing....). I think any uneasiness I felt there was less worrying about shallow friends or family members, and more how to find potential fat partners without offending them. I have always been conscious of the fact that the majority of fat people would very likely be horrified to be thought of and objectified through the lens of this fetish. You never know what someone's relationship to their own body is, but it's safe to bet that it's a more complex one than it seems, and also, unless you're expressly invited into that relationship by that person, it's none of your fucking business.

But anyway, the main reason I never had many hangups about it was that I don't think I even *was* attracted to fat people when I was young - sometimes I'm not sure I was even attracted to anyone. I had crushes on boys all the time, but I never thought of anyone sexually. My teenage fantasies were pure belly kink: stuffing, chugging, bloating, inflation, any kind of ridiculous fantasy belly expansion - the actual fattening aspect of feeding was less a part of it, and fancying fat dudes was never connected to it. By the time I'd begun to join the dots and wonder if I liked fat boys, I'd started to happen across media that portrays the worst of Feedism, and since I liked sadistic fucked up stuff and already felt ashamed of it, all of that just confirmed to me that I was right to hate myself. Even now, when I'm exposed to much more conversation about this kink than I ever used to be, I notice a lot of love for soft feedism, wholesome fatness appreciation, body positivity, romance (all of which I absolutely love, don't get me wrong) and I still sometimes feel Iike I'm being left out of the party. Keeping my fingers crossed for more consensual femdom-feedism love (and content, ugh…)

But… what would have happened if I hadn't gotten the fuck over myself and put myself out there, tried to find others? How many other young people see themselves portrayed horribly in the media and hide parts of themselves FROM THEMSELVES forever? What happens next? I've apparently found the one person who likes all the same twisted things I do, but actually getting to see him irl ever or do any of the things we want to do seems impossible, and not just because of Covid.

This fetish is lonely for most of us I think, in some way or another. There aren't many feedists, there don't seem to be as many female feeders or male feedees, there probably aren't many people who will share the same preferences within the fetish that you do, and frankly when you filter out the people who aren't crazy or creepy or don't know how to hold a conversation, the pool shrinks even further. I've seen plenty of posts bemoaning how hard it is to find someone, but seriously, having spent most of my life in a vacuum where this stuff is concerned, I'm still buzzing from having engaged with the small handful of people I've engaged with, even just to chat to.

What I want to say to my younger self is: you're a good person. You're just a kinky bitch, that's all.

I feel like this description probably applies to all the best people, I can live with that.

#feedisim #feedist #female feeder #female fat admirer #male feedee #ffa #bhm

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css1992 · 3 years

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Guilty Pleasure

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM. All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X / Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

Living with Ned and MJ was both a dream come true and a bit of a nightmare.

A dream, because when they were kids, they always talked about how they would all go the same college and live together one day, and Peter would finally have a real home – and a real family, he used to think to himself, in secret.

A nightmare, because he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of his friends, and that was the worst kind of feeling to have for the people who opened their arms and their home for him when he needed the most. Still, he couldn’t avoid it and he felt awful for that. They were both attending NYU; Ned was majoring in Computer Science and MJ in Journalism. All according to the plans they made in high school.

When Peter was younger, he made plans, too. He wanted to study Biochemistry, his teachers used to say he could probably get a scholarship to a good college, he was smart enough. Mr. Harrington, his science teacher, even offered to write letters of recommendation for him. Instead, Peter’s life choices led him to his current predicament: a 20 year-old porn actor, selling dirty pictures for a living, crashing on his friends’ couch, not a single dollar in his wallet.

He was definitely not getting any awards for good decision making, that was for sure.

He had been staying with Ned and MJ for a week when he was finally able to set up his Just4Fans account. He knew that had to be a temporary thing, it couldn’t last, even if he wanted it to. He wouldn’t be young forever, let alone a “pretty twink”, as his subscribers loved to call him. He had maybe three or four years left of that hype, at most, then he would be too old for that, and/or people would start getting bored of him. So he had to be smart, the plan was to save up as much as he could while he thought about what he was going to do once the fountain of youth dried up, and the clock was ticking fast.

But for the time being, porn.

Good thing he had his own Instagram account with a few thousand followers. All the other social media accounts were under Beck’s name, and those had hundreds of thousands of followers, but Peter no longer had access to them – he checked. He also checked and noticed that Beck hadn’t announced that they had split up yet, his last post dated from five days earlier, when he released their last video together – two days after kicking him out of the house, the asshole.

So Peter posted a few Instagram stories explaining to his followers that he and Beck weren’t a thing anymore – he didn’t give many details, he didn’t want any drama, specially not with Beck – and that he had set up a Just4Fans account for the time being. In minutes, his Instagram blew up. Apparently, people were either heartbroken over their breakup; relieved he “got rid of that perv!”; or devastated they wouldn’t get to see them doing porn together anymore.

He got a hundred subscribers in just a few hours, which was incredible. The subscription fee was ten dollars a month, so even after the website’s cut plus tax deduction, it still was a good start. He wondered what kind of money Beck made with their videos, because they had thousands of subscribers on their channel.

Once he got the hang of the site, he tried to post at least two sets of pictures a day – which was challenging at that moment, because the apartment was tiny and he didn’t have any outfits or toys with him, they were all at Beck’s. He made plans that as soon as he got the subscription money in around fifteen days, he would try to buy a few things and take tons of pictures to last a few weeks.

He also made sure to answer people’s messages every single day, which often earned him a little more money in tips. It was shocking how many people were willing to tip him just because he answered them. Some other people asked for extra content, like specific pictures, videos or even voice notes, which he sent via “pay-per-view messages”.

In the end, he felt like he was prostituting himself. Again.

He would never judge a person for earning their living in any way necessary, as long as it didn’t hurt anyone, he just never thought that would be him. Never ever. As a kid, he thought he’d be an astronaut. Growing up, he wanted to be a physicist. As a teen, he made plans to study Biochemistry. And somehow he ended up selling his body online, one way or another.

He didn’t dwell on that for long, he focused on the fact that it was temporary. If he managed to retain at least some of the people that had subscribed to his account for two or three years, then he would be able to start a small business of some kind in the future. Maybe he could go back to school. Twenty-three wasn’t too old for college, right?

Right.

It was two weeks later when he got a weird message. Not a weird message, actually, a weird tip. Someone under the username of YKWIM had sent him ten thousand dollars for no reason, there was no prior conversation, nor did the person ask for anything in return. Peter was sure there must have been a mistake, maybe they had typed in some extra zeros or maybe they had sent it to the wrong person, so he decided to reach out.

“Hey. I think there must’ve been some sort of mistake with your last tip. Lol.”

He left his phone on the counter and got started on dinner. He was a terrible cook, but to be fair, they all were, so it was fine. Ned and MJ were both at work, but they would be home soon and they were having a quiet night in. Those few weeks at their place had been good for Peter, it felt nice not to be alone after what happened, but at the same time, he was starting to feel like he really needed his own space. He was already looking for an apartment to move into as soon as he got the money. He was hoping to get one in the same building or at least close by, so that they could still see each other often.

His cell phone beeped as he sliced some onions and he stopped to check.

“Hey, gorgeous. There’s been no mistake, it’s correct.” Peter was taken aback by the answer, so he checked again to see how much the person had tipped him, and sure enough, there it was. Ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand. American dollars.

“Oh. Wow, that was very, very generous of you. Is there any particular content that you’d like to see from me as a thank you? I could send you exclusive pics and videos, whatever you want.” Inwardly, he was thinking that no amount of pictures or videos from him would ever be worth ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand dollars, holy fuck.

“That would be excellent.”

“Great. What would you like to see?”

Please don’t be weird, please don’t be weird, please don’t be weird… Usually, Peter’s subscribers liked to see him in cute outfits or with cute toys, but some people liked very messed up stuff. He usually said no, but that person had just sent him ten thousand dollars. Fuck, that was so much money, it would cover rent for at least a few months.

“I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve put out so far, baby, so surprise me. I’m sure I’m gonna like whatever you send.”

God, generous and reasonable? Had Peter died and gone to porn heaven?

“You flatter me.” He typed in quickly, leaving the sauce unattended for a few seconds. “Give me a few hours to work on it, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Take your time, but I don’t think you could disappoint me if you tried.”

Peter felt so stupid when he blushed and giggled to himself, because that was exactly how Beck lured him in when he was seventeen, with charming, easy words. He was an adult now, for Christ’s sake, and he didn’t even know who he was talking to. To be fair, it was probably a woman. For some weird reason, according to his Just4Fans statistics, a surprisingly large percentage of his subscribers were middle-aged, cisgender, heterosexual women. Peter supposed those were the ones who used to follow his “love story” with Beck – most of them hadn’t got over them yet, apparently they were “the perfect couple! So cute!”.

He couldn’t blame them, they sold them the perfect love story. And for a time, it was true. Peter really thought Beck was it for him, the love of his life, his soulmate. He didn’t know at which point it all became an act to Beck – or if maybe it had always been an act.

He sighed, shaking his head, he couldn’t afford to waste time thinking about him, so he focused on what he should send YKWIM.

As he finished making dinner, he tried to come up with ideas. They said they loved everything Peter had posted so far – he had posted thirty pictures and five short clips over the past two weeks. The pictures were all in MJ’s bedroom – she offered –, most of them in her bed. There were only a few pictures in which he was completely naked, in the others he had some sort of underwear on – lingerie or tight briefs.

So, he decided he should do something similar, but different enough that YKWIM would feel somewhat special. He had a few good ideas, but they would have to wait for the next morning, he would need good lighting and privacy.

“Hey, nerd, what’s up,” He almost burned his fingers when he heard MJ’s voice, and realized he had spaced out for a minute there. He shook his head quickly and smiled at her.

“Nothing, how was you day?”

The next morning, once Ned went to visit his family and MJ left for work, Peter started working on the pictures. For some reason, he didn’t want to tell his friends about YKWIM, just like he didn’t want to tell them about Beck when they first met, three years earlier. And if he really was as smart as his teachers used to say, he would have seen the pattern. But as it was, he just focused on the fact that YKWIM was probably a woman living on the other side of the world, who just liked to get off to pictures of pretty boys in lingerie.

But.

For the sake of getting in the mood for the pictures, he imagined YKWIM was a guy. Not too tall, but taller than him. He imagined he had a beard, but not a full one, like Beck’s, no, perfectly trimmed, scratchy, in a good way. He’d have dark, warm eyes, not blue and cold. He’d be older, older than Beck, more mature than him. A real man. Maybe he’d have a few streaks of gray amidst his otherwise dark hair.

He’d be gentle, despite Peter’s past. He’d treat him like he was the first one to ever touch him, even if he knew that was far from the truth. He would be careful, mindful of his pleasure. He’d start off slowly, kissing along his collarbones, fingers brushing the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs, just shy of where Peter wanted him to touch, as his mouth traveled down his chest; hot, moist breath leaving a trail of kisses down his stomach.

He sighed. Yeah, that would do to put him in the mood.

He put on a white t-shirt that was just long enough to graze the tops of his thighs, and a simple, plain black thong. He decided to take the pictures in the shower – the classic wet, white t-shirt, he couldn’t really go wrong with that. He positioned the camera on top of the bathroom sink, set the timer, and started posing.

First, he rested his back against the wall, one hand pulling the t-shirt down to cover the front his underwear, eyes staring directly at the camera lens as water ran down his face, neck and chest, making his nipples stiffen, becoming visible under the wet shirt.

Next, he pressed his chest to the wall, looking at the camera from over his shoulder, lips parted, just a peek of his exposed ass cheeks showing where the t-shirt ended, but by then it was so wet it was mostly see-through.

Then he turned so his side was facing the camera and stuck his head directly under the stream of water, running his hands through his hair, back arched obscenely, eyes closed. He let his hands travel all the way down his neck, chest, and stomach, hearing the familiar “click” as the camera took several pictures.

He turned around again, placed his hands on the wall and lifted his t-shirt just over his lower back, sticking his ass out, showing off his provocative underwear.

He got out of the shower and turned the camera into filming mode, then got back under the water and also shot a short clip of he sensually and slowly taking the thong off, but in a way that the viewer couldn’t really see the skin that was revealed. He pulled the wet t-shirt down so it covered everything, but by then it was so see-through that it left nothing to the imagination. Peter twirled a little, then threw an innocent, shy smile at the camera.

That should do it.

He finished his shower, put the wet clothes in the washer, then went to edit the pictures. He didn’t do much, just adjusted the light and contrast, then cut them into squares, because he though it looked classier or whatever. He chuckled to himself at the absurdity of that thought, as he attached the photos and the video to a direct message to YKWIM.

“Hey, gorgeous! Hopefully these won’t disappoint. Let me know if you’d like something different.”

He cringed re-reading the message, he thought he sounded desperate and insecure about himself and he supposed that wasn’t very attractive, so he decided to change it just a little.

“Hey, gorgeous! Hopefully these won’t disappoint.” And he finished off with a hot face emoji, because why not.

He sent the message and went on with his day. Ned and MJ were both back for lunch and since none of them felt like cooking – and they all sucked at it anyway –, they ordered something to eat in front of the TV, as they binge-watched the first seasons of The Office.

“Oh, hey, Pete, I almost forgot, I talked to our landlord earlier and he said there’s an apartment on the fifth floor that should be vacated by the end of the month, if you’re interested,” Ned told him around a mouthful of pizza and Peter’s head snapped up.

“I’m definitely interested!”

“Cool, I’ll talk to him for you, I’m sure I can get you a good deal on rent.” He winked, and Peter smiled, feeling hopeful.

Things were getting better. Slowly, yes, but they were. He was spending time with his friends – who he had neglected for the past two years–; he had a good amount of money to withdraw in the next few days, that could get him going for a while; he was still doing porn, yes, but at least he was in control of the whole thing, including his own body, which was nice; and he only cried for Beck every other night instead of every single night, so he had that going for him.

All in all, things were looking up.

Ned and MJ convinced him to go out for a bit in the afternoon, they said he had been cooped up in the apartment for three weeks and should breathe in some fresh air, and since it was the first somewhat warm day of March, they decided to go jog at Central Park in the afternoon. They didn’t really jog, but they walked around some and Peter must admit that it felt good to stretch his legs and feel the sun on his skin for a change.

They were lying on the grass, resting for a bit, when they saw a blur of red and gold fly overhead. People started cheering and clapping and Peter smiled when MJ groaned, because he knew exactly what she was going to say.

“How can people cheer for that guy, he’s an egocentric, misogynistic, elitist, disgusting asshole.” He laughed to himself, because he knew what came next.

“He’s a genius, he changed the world multiple times and he even saved it at least twice. I think he’s pretty cool,” Ned argued without any heat and Peter could hear MJ rolling her eyes.

Peter didn’t love or hate Tony Stark or Iron Man, like most people, he just – didn’t pay him any mind. Sure, when he was a kid, he was obsessed with him, he was New York’s first superhero after Captain America, who was still in the ice when Stark announced he was Iron Man. But as he grew older, he had other concerns in mind other than who was the coolest Avenger, so he kind of forgot they existed, except for when there was some crazy alien threat looming over New York City – which was, like, a biannual thing since they found out aliens existed back in 2012.

The fact that Iron Man was flying over Central Park on a Saturday afternoon was a little alarming though. From what Peter knew, Stark was mostly retired since around 2016, he only ever “avenged” when there was a big threat, like the near-end-of-the-world they had back in 2018.

“Do you think we’re under attack?” Peter asked and Ned shook his head calmly.

“Nah, I think he must be late for something. I read an interview recently and he said he uses the suit sometimes when he needs to get some place fast.”

Seemed like overkill, but who was Peter to judge, he would probably do the same if had a suit like that.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in the park and then headed home for the night. MJ turned in early, she said she was beat from a busy week, and Peter and Ned stayed up until a little later, re-watching Star Wars movies. It was close to 2AM when Ned said his goodnight and Peter went to check his Just4Fans, because he hadn’t answered any messages all day long.

There were quite a few, but he did notice there was one missing. YKWIM hadn’t answered him yet and Peter immediately felt like a failure. They probably hated the pictures, they must have thought “ugh, ten thousand dollars for that?”. Peter should have photoshopped them. He could have made himself look at least a little bit better, if only–

Before he could hate on himself too much, YKWIM messaged him, like they could read minds. Peter quickly opened their chat, still a little worried about their reaction to the pictures.

“Damn, baby! You have no fucking idea what those did to me. Fuck! Can I show you? Please?”

Peter was oddly relieved to read that, and was endeared by the fact that they actually asked before sending a dick pic. Or a clit pic? Was that a thing?

“Of course, gorgeous, I’d love to see it.”

Within seconds, they sent a video in the chat. Peter was a little surprised by that, but pressed play anyway, and almost fell off the couch when he did.

It was a thirteen seconds video. He could see the man’s midriff, all the way down to the tops of his thighs. His belly was toned and spattered with dark hair that led down to perfectly trimmed pubes that framed the most beautiful cock Peter had ever seen. There was no other way to put it.

It was long and thick, but not so much so that it would hurt – Peter knew better –, it stood proudly between his thighs, attached to a heavy set of balls that made his mouth water. He was jacking it mercilessly, Peter could only hear him grunting quietly before his balls recoiled and he came, covering his stomach in thick, pearly white come. Peter whimpered, pressing down on his hard-on, and almost cried when the video was over.

“Fuck, daddy, that was so fucking hot.” It was probably the first time ever that he actually meant that answering a DM from a subscriber.

“That was the third time today, baby, I have been thinking about those pics from the minute you sent them. Spent the whole day with blue balls, even after coming twice.”

Fuck.

“Wish I could have helped you with that.”

“Who knows, honey, maybe someday.”

Yeah, Peter thought, biting his pillow on the couch so he wouldn’t be heard when he came embarrassingly hard in his pajamas pants, face burning with shame. Maybe someday.

#starker #peter parker x tony stark

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aliasimagines · 4 years

Text

Insecurity // Dick Grayson

requested by a lovely anon!

1/2 Hi! Can I please have a dick Grayson x reader who is insecure and anxious and hasn’t told dick about it because apparently boys don’t like insecure girls. She feels she’s not good enough for him. She gets recognised in public as ‘dick Graysons girlfriend’ and the person says ‘he’s SO FAR out of you league. Haha you’re ugly and your relationship won’t last for long.’ 2/2 the she goes home crying and goes to sleep. Dicks comes to sleep and she in eventually she starts crying lying down and she tries not to disturb dick but he wakes up and says ‘what’s wrong oh noo?!!! And the reader tells him everything and how he could have anyone so why would he want her? And he comforts!!! And says cheesy lovey things and says how much the reader means to him and kisses!!! Thank you!!

word count: 1685

a/n: i'm sorry you had to wait for this, I ak having a hard time rn. But thank you so much for the request! I love getting requests! Also I kinda altered it and it's more angsty but I hope you like it dear! ❤️

You were already having a bad day. You had to wake up early for work. Had to leave without saying bye to Dick, as he was sleeping in after last night’s patrol. But you made a little time to admire your boyfriend. Peacefully sleeping with pieces of black hair covering his beautiful face. You glanced at your reflection in the mirror at the corner of the room. Despite wearing one of your favorite outfits you didn’t like what you see. It was just... One of those days.

Normally you’re okay with yourself but every once in a while you get extremely insecure and that’s when all those mean thought get to you. You tried to brush it off as you walked to work. To think about something else. And.. It kinda worked? You weren’t feeling extremely well but you put on some good music while walking and focused on the lyrics rather than you thoughts.

You stoped at the bus stop waiting for it to arrive. Watching a puddle in front of you heard some chatting from behind you.

„.. No. It’s not her. I mean look at her! The fuck! A top shot guy would date that. No, that is not Grayson’s girl.”

„She is I’m telling you! I saw her on a pic he posted. But you know what? Imma go and ask.”

You froze, hearing the conversation and hoped they weren’t talking about you. Sure you did know they were talking about you but still.

You felt someone gently touching your shoulder causing you to curse mentally.

„Hello, sorry to bother but me and my friend were wondering.. Are you y/n y/l?”

You swallowed the spit you had in your mouth and turned to see a woman. She had long fair hair and a pair of shiny green eyes, she is around your age.

„Uhm yes. That would be me. Can I help you with anything?”

The other woman you heard stepped closer.

„Are you really dating Dick Grayson?” you heard her voice. Like she didn’t believe it.

You took all your strength and nodded.

„Yes, yes I am.”you said, surprising yourself by not having a shaky voice. You were so close to a breaking down...

The both giggled.

„Aham, all right thank you!... Oh wait one more question... How do you do it? Are you using some sort of magic? It’s Gotham I wouldn’t be surprised..”

Your lips trembled.

„I.. I don’t know what you mean.”

„Come on girl. There us no way in hell a guy like Dick Grayson would date you. He is sooo out if your league. He is so damn hot and a son of a billioner! I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you, a gray little nobody is dating him. No offense, dear, you’re just nit a good fit for him.”

You thanked every living creature because in that moment you heard the bus pull up. You manged to excuse yourself quickly and quietly from those bullies and ran to the bus.

The remaining part of the day is kind of a blur. You honestly have no idea how you managed without breaking down. You felt like someone was clenching your stomach and had the urge to cry the whole time. But until the moment you stepped in your apartment you did not.

You knew Dick wasn’t home yet. He works late. Gets up late. And latley... Your interaction with your own boyfriend was so damn little... That it was just another excuse for you to feel insecure.

Let’s be honest. He is such a beautiful man, amazing body, breathtaking eyes, always so kind and sweet to everyone. What if he is only with you because he feels sorry for you.

You never talk to him about your insecurities because in your mind that would only make his choice of leaving you easier. In your mind, guys don’t like insecure girls. Dick is an amazing human but.. Would he be different? Would he still love you if he knew how anxious you were? You keep telling yourself, no, he wouldn’t.

You only bothered to get off your shoes and coat and throw your bag somewhere. You made your way to your shared bed, lied down and hugged a pillow.

The bitter sound of your crying was the only noise in your home for... Hours? It easily could have been hours. You kept wishing Dick was here to comfort you but that you kept reminding yourself that if he saw you like this he would straight up leave you.

You don’t know when but you fell asleep.

Dick opens the door to your apartment so delicately, so quietly. He does not want to wake you. Ah, you. All day he waited for this moment so he could finally get home and cuddle up next to you.

With him working and being on patrol a lot he.. He doesn’t see you as much anymore as he would like. He feels bad for it. He tries to leave patrol earlier or skip it, when he can but still... When was the last time you woke up together? Or when did you fall asleep together? It’s been too long and he... He misses you.

After cleaning himself up and changing clothes he walks in the bedroom and climbs next to you. It is too dark in there for Dick to see your tear stained cheeks. But what he notices is that you are still in your normal clothes and not your sleepwear.

Maybe you were just too tired to change. He excepts his own little answer and goes to sleep.

You woke up with one of his arms around you. You have a moment of joy. A moment of forgetful happiness before everything hits you. You can make out his silhouette and that alone is enough for you to break down. You try to be quiet as much as possible.

You cry, thinking if he saw you... He could leave you. You wouldn’t blame him. You feel like there’s just problems with you.

You heart practically stopped beating for a second as you heard Dick shift in his sleep.

„Babe..” he mumbled.

You collected all your strength and answered, hopefully without a shaky voice.

„Go back to sleep, baby.”

But.. He didn’t. He turned fully towards you and still half asleep caressed your cheek.

„I missed you all day Y/N.. Are you crying?” he asked suddenly sitting up, forgetting about sleeping.

Damn it.

„Yeah... But it’s fine, Dick. Go back to sleep.. I’m fine” you couldn’t actually say the lats words because you started crying so loudly. You felt him hugging you close.

„Shh, y/n. You can tell me. That’s why I here.”

„I.. Can’t... You’ll hate me.” you whispered between sniffing and crying.

„What? No! I love you, silly! I won’t hate you!” Dick responds. He starts to think though. What could make him hate you...? Maybe you cheated...? No, he knows you didn’t. You love him.... you love him, right?

„Promise?”

Dick tries to be funny and offers you his pinky.

„Pinky promise.”

„I... Lately... I just feel so awful! All the time! I’m so anxious Dick. It’s so so bad. Every morning I avoid looking in the mirror because I hate what I see. I can’t even believe why would you even consider dating someone like me. The women I met at the bus station were right. You’re so far out of my league.”

In a way this was worse than cheating. Dick felt heartbroken. He failed at being your boyfriend. He was supposed to make you feel safe! Loved! To be a safe place for you, to make you feel trusted. He failed at that. What else hasn’t he notice?

Dick felt hot tears streaming down his own face. He pulled you closer to himself.

„Y/N... I feel so ashamed. I can’t imagine how badly I must have treated you to feel like this. After all I’ve done, or rather not done I extremely worried that you want to get up and leave me. I mean I would understand but...I love you! You have to know that. I am sorry for not telling it to you enough. I need to show my love for you more. And if that is what it takes for you to realize how an amazing woman you are than I will. Because you are, amazing, I can’t imagine coming home and not finding you here. You are the single most important thing in my life. I just... Me being out of your league? Hell! You are out of my league! I don’t deserve you. I know these oast few weeks we... We barley talked. Like really talked. I was so busy with everything but that’s not an excuse to leave you alone. I can’t even ask for your forgiveness... „

„ Dick... „

„ No, really I don’t. I am supposed to make you feel loved yet you think I would leave you because you are insecure? Because you are anxious? Those are more reasons for me to stay and help you. But you feel like I can’t help you with these and that is purely my fault. But... I promise if you give me a chance, I will make up for it. I’ll be the man you deserve. Shower you with love, listen to you, help you in every way you want. Because I love you,so, so much. I can’t stand to lose you. „

You bury your face in his chest and don’t even try to hold back the tears. He doesn’t either. You cry but you are happier that you got it off you chest. Dick cries, afraid of losing you. He won’t. You won’t leave him. It will take some time for you to fully open up and talk about every insecurity you have but Dick is willing to wait for you. He will wait for you till the end of the times. Because he loves you. And you live him. And for now, on this quiet September night, love is enough.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x you #nightwing imagine #nightwing x reader #dick grayson one shot #dick grayson oneshot #dick grayson imagine #dc imagine #dc x reader #dick grayson angst #dick grayson fluff #batboys fluff

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