For the record, both Alicia's and Tatum's reactions/feelings about Leighton not being out are valid.
Alicia not wanting to be pulled back into the closet by someone so fiercely closeted that they blew up at her for posting a picture they weren't even in, wherein they were afraid someone would recognize something that belonged to them - like that paranoid and afraid - is understandable. Like that's triggering and it would feel regressive to be with someone like that if you've come out already. And let's recall Leighton wasn't out to anyone yet and her internalized homophobia was at its peak. Alicia was right.
Tatum telling Leighton there's no timeline in coming out and not applying the pressure on her to do so (to her family) or making her feel bad was wonderful. Then again, I'd expect as much cause as she pointed out, they literally only just started dating. Tatum was right.
Leighton is out at school now. She's out to her friends now. She can openly date girls. Tatum doesn't have to feel like Leighton's dirty little secret or completely cut off from her social life. This is a very different relationship that does not compare to what Alicia experienced and it's not fair to compare the two, especially to shame Alicia.
Alicia giving Leighton an ultimatum made her have anxiety surrounding the idea of coming out. Tatum telling her there’s no rush and she should have that experience when she’s ready (as well as seeing her model a healthy relationship with her father) gave her the courage to go ahead and do it. They really are so good for each other