#leoralynn

[jerilynnphoto]

Today it’s been 18 years that Leora has been gone. I don’t know that I even have a whole lot to say that I haven’t said before. I miss having a daughter. I miss her hugs and her hilariousness. She would’ve been an awesome adult. There is no doubt in my mind that she and I would’ve had a great relationship and friendship. It’s hard to imagine what life would’ve been like if we didn’t have this higher purpose. I’ll probably post a little later over on my @universalmomma page today. It’s early and I’m not really ready. I’m still sitting outside with the kitties, drinking tea. Love y’all🥰💖 #leoralynnwoodsmall #angelanniversary #leoralynn #angeldaughter #👼🏼 #empathchick (at Boca Raton, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/COIannKr-Sa/?igshid=1dyz35obexnxk

#leoralynnwoodsmall #angelanniversary #leoralynn #angeldaughter #👼🏼 #empathchick

[jerilynnphoto]

My daughter Leora has been gone 17 years, since 2003. @hamiltonmusical came out in 2015. #linmanuelmiranda must’ve started writing the play around 2008-ish I guess. So it seems my grief and agony floated around in the Universe for about 5 years until it channeled through him into this song. And I only heard it for the first time less than a month ago. There has never been a song that has completely encompassed all the feels in my little momma heart like “It’s Quiet Uptown” from Hamilton. I have yet to listen it without crying, and I can’t sing it without crying either. It’s so hard, but so healing. I feel like it just puts its arms around me, strokes my hair and allows me to sob and feel the feels as they are. I am doing pretty well all these years in. This feels like it opened a space I might not have known was still in need of attention. I don’t know how it would’ve felt to just hear the song, without being invested in all the characters, because that makes it 100 times more intense. But that this man, who isn’t a mom, and didn’t even have kids at the time, was able to pull those feelings from the source and plug them into this medium just proves that art is a spiritual experience, and we are just vessels from which it pours. So if ya don’t know now you know... GO WATCH HAMILTON!!! Thank you Lin-Manuel and everyone who brought Hamilton to life so it could find this one little grieving mom in South Florida. I love and appreciate all of you🥰🙏🏼 #hamiltonthemusical #itsquietuptown #therearemomentsthatthewordsdontreach #theunimaginable #hamiltoncast #leoralynn (at Coral Springs, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDLTF4Gh5WY/?igshid=6d08l46nh1kc

#linmanuelmiranda #hamiltonthemusical #itsquietuptown #therearemomentsthatthewordsdontreach #theunimaginable #hamiltoncast #leoralynn

[jerilynnphoto]

“Keep flowers in your garden and love in your heart.” Some of y’all know that Leora used to collect Cherished Teddies. Not all of them, but every so often we would see one that we thought was really sweet. The last time I bought one was for her 30th birthday. Next Wednesday she would’ve been 33 on the 22nd. Today I was going to pick up falafel and I happened to pass by a Tuesday Morning store that’s going out of business. Everything is 60% to 70% off, so of course I went in! There’s not very much left but there were a few different colors of yarn that I’ve been looking for so I got those and walked up to the counter. This girl here caught my eye. She was standing there at the counter like she was waiting for me🥰 Y’all know my favorite flower is white daisies!! It’s like she picked it just for me. So now she’s home with me as we plan to celebrate another anniversary of one of the most important births in history💖 Welcome home, Georgiana🥰 #cherishedteddies #leoralynn #daisies #georgiana #rememberleora #therearenocoincidences #serendipity #angelguides #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CC1w0qVAjOP/?igshid=1qctf4babww1q

#cherishedteddies #leoralynn #daisies #georgiana #rememberleora #therearenocoincidences #serendipity #angelguides #empathchick

[jerilynnphoto]

Repost from a while back, but it came actoss my feed this morning, so I assumed Leora was telling me someone needed to see it- Look how my little girl sparkles💖✨💫👑 I put my “50” tiara👸🏼on Leora’s urn after my party in December, and haven’t really paid it a lot of mind. I mean, I see it every time I walk in my bedroom, but when you see something all the time, you kind of stop SEEING it. Last night, I was getting ready to lay down, and I noticed how unusually sparkly it was. You could see all the colors twinkling ✨ Leora would have loved that! I sat and talked to her for a few minutes. As a parent griever, I’m super good at compartmentalizing. That’s how life goes on so we can function. She has her own headspace that I don’t visit all the time, because I’d want to die all the time. The Parkland shooting has dredged up a lot of those feelings for me, as I once again passed the school today. The memorial, the cops, kids, news people and visitors, paying their respects. I remember my own loss, but time has a way of being merciful with the actual intensity of the pain. I can watch it in my head - almost like it’s happening to someone else. 14 more sets of parents of teens have joined my club. Whenever I know there are new members, there’s a shift in the atmosphere... making room as they enter the worst club ever. It’s hard around here. I feel like in time I can do more good for them all, because I’m that person who can help later on, when everybody else’s life has gone back to normal. Just rambling, but there’s usually a reason my daughter grabs my attention, so maybe she’s setting some wheels in motion. She was always smarter than me😇 #leoralynn #princessleora #princess #grief #tiara #msdstrong #msd #neveragain #teenage #parentsofteens #grievingparents #griefsupport #parkland #healing #healingfromgrief #healingcoach #griefcoach #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9R6l54hoHE/?igshid=310x9l1f56bv

#leoralynn #princessleora #princess #grief #tiara #msdstrong #msd #neveragain #teenage #parentsofteens #grievingparents #griefsupport #parkland #healing #healingfromgrief #healingcoach #griefcoach #empathchick

[jerilynnphoto]

These caught my eye walking through Publix tonight. Anyone that ever passed notes with Leora in school – I know there were SO many of you – recognizes that this L looks like hers💖💖💖 #cursiveL #leoralynn #noididntbuythem #hellojuly #lcupcakes #empathchick (at Publix Super Market at Hillsboro Square) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz4m9_Vg_l6/?igshid=gawv10spxwl7

#cursivel #leoralynn #noididntbuythem #hellojuly #lcupcakes #empathchick

[jerilynnphoto]

#tbt I miss you every day, my beautiful baby girl💖😘😇👸🏼 I’m not having a sad day. Just came across this old pic😍 #leoralynn #appreciatewhatyouvegot #sograteful #thankfulfor15years #thinkingofyoualways #missyou #babygirl #princess #princessleora #alwaysbemybaby #daughterlessmomma #iborrowdaughters 😉 #empathchick (at Joe Dimaggio Children's Hospital Sports Medicine) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnrH2l9nfs-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1efszie4embbm

#tbt #leoralynn #appreciatewhatyouvegot #sograteful #thankfulfor15years #thinkingofyoualways #missyou #babygirl #princess #princessleora #alwaysbemybaby #daughterlessmomma #iborrowdaughters #empathchick

[jerilynnphoto]

Years ago this coffee cup was given to me by my boys on Mother’s Day💖 It’s one of the sweetest things they’ve given me, and one of my favorite treasures! Today, on Leora’s birthday, they (plus Kirsten💕) took me out to dinner @yardhouse in @miznerpark and we had such a great time! For several years, the boys have both had work schedules that didn’t enable us to be together for this day. Some years I was too much of a mess to go anywhere. Needless to say, the stars aligned this year, and I’m a happy momma😍 Thank you @travishaspics @skeyebrows & @kirstenmaryy I love y’all so much, and I appreciate you💖💖💖 #leoralynn #angelbirthday #ihavethebestkids #sograteful #soloved #proudmomma #lovedmomma #familytime #specialmother #coffee #coffeecup #love #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida)

#proudmomma #ihavethebestkids #leoralynn #angelbirthday #lovedmomma #sograteful #empathchick #familytime #coffee #coffeecup #soloved #love #specialmother

[jerilynnphoto]

Lisa Frank always reminds me of Leora😇She was obsessed 💖🦄☔️💜 #lisafrank #leoralynn #myangel #memories #empathchick (at Margate, Florida)

#leoralynn #memories #myangel #empathchick #lisafrank

[jerilynnphoto]

Butterflies of always been my sign of Leora. She’s always around🦋💖🦋💖🦋💖🦋 #butterflies #hersignthatsheshere #leoralynn #imissmygirl #daughterlessmother #fuckdepression #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida)

#hersignthatsheshere #empathchick #leoralynn #imissmygirl #fuckdepression #daughterlessmother #butterflies

[jerilynnphoto]

#leoralynn #myangel #seeyouinmydreams #dreamingofyou #shevisitsmewhenimsleeping #mylove #thanksfor15 #iloveyou #neverfaraway #ifeelyou #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida)

#mylove #shevisitsmewhenimsleeping #iloveyou #leoralynn #neverfaraway #empathchick #ifeelyou #seeyouinmydreams #myangel #dreamingofyou #thanksfor15

[jerilynnphoto]

😇😇😇 #1111 #angelsallaroundyou #whentheveilisthinnest #numerology #leoralynn #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida)

#numerology #angelsallaroundyou #empathchick #whentheveilisthinnest #leoralynn #1111

[jerilynnphoto]

So yesterday came and went. It looked just like any other day. I got to spend my evening with some of the people that I love, drank too much tequila🍸 (paying for it today), and even though we didn’t plan on going to the beach, we ended up there🤷🏻‍♀️It was after midnight though so I don’t know if that counts. Yesterday was a milestone that I’ve been dreading for over 15 years. My 15-year-old daughter has been gone 15 years. I thought about it before Leora died. I just remember thinking that she’s going to die, and the time is just going to get bigger that she’s gone, and before you know it, it’ll be a year, then five years, then 10 years, and then 15. One day she will be gone longer than she was here. That was yesterday. That was the last milestone I was dreading. I made it, and I’m still alive. It has been haunting me this year, because I knew it was coming. Now that I have passed that hurdle, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted. Now the time gets longer, but that’s all. None of those time things that we humans have to stamp on everything. Maybe now I can really get to the business of healing, because there’s nothing else lurking out there for me to be dreading. I’m hopeful. Thanks to everybody who loves me and holds me up. I could not do this if y’all weren’t in my life💜 #complicatedgrief #babysteps #grievingmomma #ptsd #fuckdepression #loveiseverything #leoralynn #forever15 #fuckcancer #surroundyourselfwithyourtribe #healing #timehelps #kindnessmatters #thankyou #compassion #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida)

#babysteps #ptsd #kindnessmatters #fuckcancer #forever15 #surroundyourselfwithyourtribe #empathchick #complicatedgrief #thankyou #fuckdepression #timehelps #healing #grievingmomma #compassion #loveiseverything #leoralynn

[jerilynnphoto]

We had a conversation today about how everybody thinks we’re such badasses except for us. Each of us just feels like we are a mess all the time. We managed to survive the deaths of our children. We didn’t have a choice. We have other children, and a life that is supposed to mean something. Somehow we are still alive. I thought that we could use a reminder of how badass that actually is. @n0elle_marie_ you know how I feel. I cannot imagine how these years would’ve gone if I didn’t have you to walk through all of it with me. I love you so much💖 #myfraughter #partnersingrief #bffsforever #daughterlessmother #wonderwoman #wonderwomen #griefsupport #leoralynn #deardominic #empathchick (at La Bamba Mexican & Spanish Restaurants)

#leoralynn #bffsforever #deardominic #empathchick #partnersingrief #myfraughter #daughterlessmother #griefsupport #wonderwomen #wonderwoman

[jerilynnphoto]

My turn!!! A little new memorial tatt for my girl. This April 26th will be 15 years that Leora has been gone. I’ve been dreading this year...she will have been gone as long as she was here. Nice thought that her brother is tattooing a memorial on me for her😍 #memorialtattoo #myangel #leoralynn #tattooedmomma #girlswithink #tattooedgirls #nohardfeelings #tattoo #bnw #blackandwhite #empathchick (at No Hard Feelings Tattoo and Piercing)

#girlswithink #empathchick #myangel #bnw #memorialtattoo #nohardfeelings #blackandwhite #tattooedgirls #leoralynn #tattoo #tattooedmomma

[jerilynnphoto]

My turn!!! A little new memorial tatt for my girl. This April 26th will be 15 years that Leora has been gone. I’ve been dreading this year...she will have been gone as long as she was here. Nice thought that her brother is tattooing a memorial on me for her😍 #memorialtattoo #myangel #leoralynn #tattooedmomma #girlswithink #tattooedgirls #nohardfeelings #tattoo (at No Hard Feelings Tattoo and Piercing)

#leoralynn #myangel #tattoo #tattooedgirls #girlswithink #tattooedmomma #memorialtattoo #nohardfeelings

[jerilynnphoto]

Look how my little girl sparkles💖✨💫👑 I put my “50” tiara👸🏼on Leora’s urn after my party in December, and haven’t really paid it a lot of mind. I mean, I see it every time I walk in my bedroom, but when you see something all the time, you kind of stop SEEING it. Last night, I was getting ready to lay down, and I noticed how unusually sparkly it was. You could see all the colors twinkling ✨ Leora would have loved that! I sat and talked to her for a few minutes. As a parent griever, I’m super good at compartmentalizing. That’s how life goes on so we can function. She has her own headspace that I don’t visit all the time, because I’d want to die all the time. The Parkland shooting has dredged up a lot of those feelings for me, as I once again passed the school today. The memorial, the cops, kids, news people and visitors, paying their respects. I remember my own loss, but time has a way of being merciful with the actual intensity of the pain. I can watch it in my head - almost like it’s happening to someone else. 14 more sets of parents of teens have joined my club. Whenever I know there are new members, there’s a shift in the atmosphere... making room as they enter the worst club ever. It’s hard around here. I feel like in time I can do more good for them all, because I’m that person who can help later on, when everybody else’s life has gone back to normal. Just rambling, but there’s usually a reason my daughter grabs my attention, so maybe she’s setting some wheels in motion. She was always smarter than me😇 #leoralynn #princessleora #princess #grief #tiara #msdstrong #msd #neveragain #teenage #parentsofteens #grievingparents #griefsupport #parkland #healing #healingfromgrief #healingcoach #griefcoach #empathchick (at Coral Springs, Florida)

#tiara #parkland #msd #grievingparents #teenage #griefcoach #griefsupport #healing #healingfromgrief #grief #healingcoach #parentsofteens #neveragain #empathchick #princess #msdstrong #princessleora #leoralynn