#like as long as u dont refer to me as a man or masc terms im okay with anything

[xieliancore]

i said it on twitter the other day but feel free to use they/them pronouns for me as well apart from she/her!! i keep finding myself even at my age and i feel comfy with both! just please don't use masc pronouns or terms!

#im doing lots of thinking and i guess im non binary but leaning towards female v heavily?? #maybe it's because i've been raised as a woman and i love women #honestly at this point i dont wanna think about gender sdlkgjsg #like as long as u dont refer to me as a man or masc terms im okay with anything #personal

[transfemlogan]

im new-ish here so sorry if this is an obvious question, but do you have trans headcanons for any of the other sides? 👀

HIII I have a million trans hcs always do not worry. I love talking abt trans sides

NOTE: i do bring up how i think some sides might not use prns or use neo prns or whatever, but i do still refer 2 them w/ he/him prns bcuz i might not have a set of prns i think theyd use. (Ex. I think roman uses neoprns, but I don't know which ones / my hc changes so I use he/him in this post. If that makes sense)

THIS GOT SUPER LONG SO IM PUTTING IT UNDER A READMORE !!!

I really like the concept of virgil being trans but not using a narrow label to describe himself. So rather than him identifying as a trans man or a trans woman or non binary, he just identifies as Transgender (or queer!). He doesnt use a specific label

I just feel like he either has so much anxiety abt his gender identity, he just doesnt focus on it at all & doesnt try 2 figure it out OR he has SO much anxiety abt his gender identity, he tries too hard 2 figure it out & has like a million labels he uses. No inbetween.

Roman TOTALLY hoards gender i bet that guy has like 300 genders & he doesnt stop getting more. I think Roman is just a very big hoarder of xenogenders & neo prns & even names. Like he gets a new name every month & with 3 new sets of prns. I feel like he has to scrutinise his gender & what it means 2 him & stuff bcuz he is the most insecure person on earth.

Patton & Janus 2 me r super chill abt their gender identity but in different ways

I tend 2 hc trans Patton as a gnc trans man. I think Pattons chill in the way that he knows what he is & he isnt worried too much abt if he "fits" that label. Like he 100% wears skirts & dresses & does his make up & does common "feminine" things, maybe still uses she/her prns, but isn't bothered abt whether or not that makes him a "real trans man." I bet this guy has ZERO gender dysphoria.

Patton sees someone talking abt what being a trans man "actually is" & hes like "i dont feel that way at all... oh well!" & moves on w/ his life. He is not worried at ALL. He is confident & happy w/ his identity. He ALSO def uses they/them prns (he/she/they patton REAL trust me)

Janus is also chill, but in the way that if he sees a label that fits him better he just changes to it without question. I dont have a stagnant trans label I give 2 Janus, i jump around a lot. I view Janus as like, "oh. I use the label (for example) demiboy, but I actually think trans masc agender fits me better. So i'm using that now" & then later is like "you know what? I think genderfluid fits me better, ill use that one instead" like he isnt freaking out if he relates to a different label or thinks hes something else. He's shrugging his shoulders & moving the fuck on. He also totally might use neoprns, i think he is a neoprn enjoyer. Janus changes his name 24/7, not due 2 gender rzns, but bcuz he is running from the police /j

REMUS IS DEF A NONBINARY PERSON. I cannot see remus as having a binary gender. This guy is genderqueer genderfreak agender gendervoid ANY OF IT. ALL OF IT !! Remus doesn't have a gender, but he definitely has a dead guy stored in the trunk of his car. He's too busy throwing bricks at people & going dumpster driving to have a binary gender. Roman took all the gender in the womb /j

Remus def doesn't use he/him or she/her prns but he either uses a set of neoprns OR doesn't use any prns at all.

And lastly, Logan, because u said "hcs for any of the other sides" which I am assuming means u already know what I tend to hc him as BUT!!! while I might change labels 4 Logan, I do tend 2 hc her as a she/her femme transfem genderfluid man. BUT i also really like genderqueer or xenogender user Logan!! I think Logan uses older terms 2 describe himself. Like rather than calling himself transgender, he prefers the term transsexual. He also 100% does so much research into trans history (OFC all the sides do but I think logan likes it in an autistic way) which is why he uses older terms.

ALSO LOGANS TOTALLY AUTIGENDER? I think he def has ASD & it affects the way he views his gender. Not in a "i dont get societal views about gender, so I don't understand my gender" but in a "i dont get societal views abt gender, so I understand my gender very well" (aka im projecting on2 logan) if that makes any amount of sense. Its more abt the fact that he wants to understand why people view gender a certain way & learning the "rules" around gender & making his own, rather than not understanding & rejecting the concept (which both r ok). He is a rule follower & a schedule needer what else can i say.

AND !!! JUST BECAUSE I CAN !!! I think the orange side is also very autistic but on the opposite spectrum from Logan (I JUST FEEL IN MY HEART THAT HES AUTISTIC. I KNOW IVE NEVER MET HIM BUT HES AUTISTIC TO ME. I can SENSE it.)

He 100% doesn't get the concept of gender so he rejects it completely. He doesn't get the "rules" & doesnt want to know them. Whether this means he is on the binary or nonbinary IDK i just know this man wants 2 fist fight the concept of gender.

#THIS WAS SOO FUN THANK U ANON. I LOVE TALKING ABT TRANS SIDES #ask #sanders sides #<- main tags bcuz i want other ppl 2 rblg & talk abt their trans hcs

[laundryandtaxes]

Hi Julia, I know u receive a lot of asks so its ok if u dont answer (cw gender dysphoria) ive struggled with my gender since I was a kid but I tried to be femme for a long time. Last year I started iding as trans masc but I have a hard time referring to myself as a man. Ive just been thinking lately maybe i should have experimented being butch but i already asked my friends to use he/him pronouns. idk if it’s too late w/out everyone thinking I faked it or was being dramatic or something

idk I kinda miss the solidarity in being a lesbian but I also really wanna get on testosterone and I also hate being referred to as a woman… it’s complicated I guess haha. sorry for sending two messages :/ 

I’m getting a couple of messages coming through here, so let me try to tell you first what I’m hearing and then what I think that means, and if I misinterpret something feel free to send me another anon. The absolute first thing I’m getting here is that you, on some level, believed that being masculine indicated that you were trans, or otherwise that sort of trying out masculinity meant trying out social transition to some extent. Throwing off femininity does not have to mean leaving connection with women behind at all. That’s a very common issue right now- a looooooooooot of women right now are being fed the message that being gender nonconforming means they are not or should not be women, a lot of women are disidentifying for that particular reason, a lot of women have a hard time uncoupling this idea of what women are supposed to be from femininity. Anytime someone tells me “I wish I had options other than disidentifying” that sounds to me like you’re coming from a place that’s more reaction to being hurt than positive identity exploration. And almost all the reidentified women I know (including myself) and detransitioned women I know believed similar things at one point and no longer believe them now. Many of us used they/them pronouns while reidentifying, some of us continued to use he/him while reidentifying, some of us STILL use they/them, etc. As for your point about pronouns and being referred to as a woman, those are both common among dysphoric women because of the social weight attached to them- when "woman” and the generally related pronoun “she” refer to a person, in the social imagination, who is feminine and heterosexual but also less intelligent than men, less valuable than men, less capable of real thought than men, less useful than men, etc, who in their right mind would feel comfortable having all of those notes attached to them? This is why the whole concept of “comfort with your assigned gender” was nothing but misogyny from the outset- no woman is or should be wholly comfortable with what women are understood to be, being referable to her. When you run in circles where these pronouns are arguably even MORE closely tied to femininity than the general population (I would bet that, like me, you have seen that most people who look and live the way you might want to look and live don’t call themselves women, don’t use she/her pronouns) it makes sense for you to have even more strongly observed and internalized these messages. What does “she” mean to you? Does it sting to think about? That’s a good sting! It’s a meaningful sting! It’s a sting worth honoring and exploring. All that being said, should you decide that using she/her is just too painful for you, so be it! If using other pronouns helps you continue to keep your connection to women, that’s a small price to pay.

The second thing I am hearing from you is that you feel like it is somehow too late for you, and it is not and will never, ever be- womanhood will absolutely always be here for you if you want to claim it, there will always be women with your same experiences, etc. I know women who had transition related surgeries, used testosterone for years, got legal name changes, and still detransitioned- some are happy with the decisions they made, some are not, most have mixed feelings, some are still mostly passing, some pass mostly in the same sense that I often do, etc. It is never too late, and I don’t want to send you away still thinking it is too late. If your friends were accepting and welcoming and loving when you changed your pronouns, they should be accepting and welcoming now as you are figuring things out again.

I don’t believe there is any categorical line between butch and transmasc except what term you like and sometimes a common set of experiences like a generally positive relationship to transition, and I think that whatever you call yourself in the meantime is totally fine and absolutely up to you. But when I hear someone tell me they want really hard to retain ties to other lesbians, my answer is always going to be, “So hang onto those ties.” I don’t think literally anything you could do would mean you no longer were connected to other lesbians in at least some sense. 

I would generally include asks like this in my “dysphoric women” tag, which I only started officially keeping very recently, but I get your discomfort with that word and won’t pop it into the tag for that reason. BUT much love to you no matter what, and please really do feel free to pop into my inbox on or off anon anytime, and please feel free to look at that tag for some experiences other people have sent me.