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runningfrom2am · 4 months

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cold nights // part eighteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.8k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: hiii posting this early bc bestie and i are ab to start a 24 hour readathon! if i'm not active for the next day, that would be why. anyway wish us luck!! also i didn't edit this as thoroughly as i should have so i'm sorry lol

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

You called out of work indefinitely, after that. You didn't want to quit, you wanted to love your job and you honestly couldn't see yourself doing anything else but right now, you just couldn't. Luckily, the girls who worked down at the library were incredibly understanding according to Lennox, who was sent to deliver your letter of leave and apology.

It had been close to a week when you finally ventured out to the back porch to read rather than rotting in bed all day staring at the ceiling. Your mother made you tea, and insisted she come sit with you. You enjoyed the company.

"Would you like to talk about it?" She asks, just as you're turning the page. Under normal circumstances, you'd resort to Romeo and Juliet, but now you feel like you couldn't stomach it. So, Much Ado About Nothing would have to suffice.

"I'm okay, Ma." You say softly, giving a slight shake over your head as your eyes fly over the faded lettering on the page.

"Lennox told us what happened, you know." She adds after a beat of silence.

You look up at her, frowning. "I'm sorry. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

"Don't be, dear." She shakes her head quickly, gently resting a hand on your thigh. "I wish you had told us. I wouldn't have invited him in that day, I could have told you he stopped by and we could have made a plan. I shouldn't have sprung that on you."

You sigh, pursing your lips and closing your book. "I didn't want you to dislike him, that's why I didn't tell you. I thought... I wanted to come home with at least something positive to talk about. And I thought that if I gave it enough time, thinking positively about him, I could try to contact him without seeing... that."

She smiles sadly at you. "You really love him, huh?"

"How could I not?" You admit quietly, staring at the cover of the book on your lap. "He was the first person there to show me kindness, to make me feel like I wasn't alone." You explain. "It felt... Like Romeo and Juliet. Star-crossed lovers, because of course I didn't think I could really have him. I was living in a dream, in a way."

"And now?" She prompts you to continue, thrilled that you are finally opening up.

"Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."

She chuckles, gently rubbing your leg. "So that's a yes, then."

"How I wish it was not." You groan, reaching for your cup to drown your predicament in tea.

"Your brother," She sighs, gently removing the book from your lap. "came home that night just... just shaking with anger. And he looked me and your father in the eyes and said he was going to kill Coriolanus. He was set on it." She explains, and you look at her.

"He said that?" You ask, and she nods.

"I could see it in his eyes, he meant it, and we were so confused. Because, after all, it had been Coriolanus and Sejanus who came to the door seeking help for you, and your father told me Coryo looked like a ghost- bless him." She chuckles slightly.

"What I mean is... Your brother is not immune to violence, either. He would hurt someone for you, I know it. Just because you don't wish him to, doesn't mean he doesn't love you so much that he would do anything." You mull over her statement, chewing passively on your lip. "And boys... boys just do things differently than you and I would. Or Lucy Gray would. I bet if you asked her about Billy Taupe, Tam Amber, or little Clerk Carmine, that she'd tell you they've all had their moments. But boys aren't treated fair in this life, so sometimes, they don't fight fair."

"Coriolanus killed someone, Ma."

"Why?" She asks. "Lennox told me you saw it. Why did he kill that boy?"

"Because..." You shake your head. "He was trying to kill him, first."

"Okay, well-"

"But that I can understand, given the circumstances." You quickly explain, guilt settling in your stomach like a weight as you put your mug back down. "It was after. Bobbin had so clearly already passed on, and he hit him again. It was anger, and it was not necessary. A waste of precious time he didn't have but he did it anyway and that... that scared me."

She hums, listening to you intently. "If it helps, dear, and this is my honest feelings... I still think he is a good man, with a good heart." She says. "I know what you've seen is... gosh, it's unfathomable, and I wish I could take that pain from you, but I really do think that if you still feel anything for him you should talk to him."

Your eyes snap up to hers, and you look scared.

"I've only met him once, but gosh, the way he looks at you, and how he spoke about you, he thinks you put the stars in the sky." She grins, trying to relax you by taking your hand. "No problems have ever solved by hiding. And even if you turn out to be correct, that he's never been who you thought he was, you'll get peace by having answers. And even so, he deserves that peace too."

"I... I'll think about it." You nod softly, reaching for your book again.

"Hello? Boys?" Lucy Gray calls out, walking into the small house Coryo and Sejanus have been occupying.

"In here!" Sejanus calls back, and she follows his voice into the small kitchen where he's attempting to make something to eat.

"Ooh, what's for lunch?" She asks, sitting herself down at the dining room table.

"Eggs... I think." Sejanus laughs. Lucy Gray had been coming by to try and keep them company, and she did really like spending time with Sejanus. Coryo didn't have a whole lot to say, though.

"Yum." She giggles, sitting up straight to look into the pan. "Where's Coriolanus?"

"Guess."

"On the back porch staring at the trees?"

"Pretty much."

Lucy Gray sighs, pushing herself up. "Okay, well, The Covey and I are going to the lake tomorrow. It's a hike out, but it's beautiful. You guys should come."

"I'll be there, but I don't know if we can convince blondie." Sejanus nods toward the back door.

"Oh, I'll convince him." She smiles smugly, brushing past him and out the door.

Lucy Gray finds out quickly that apparently she had guessed wrong- he was sitting on the porch, like he had been every day, but today he was reading rather than just staring out at the mountains. "What are ya readin'?" She asks, standing in front of him.

"Nothing that's any of your business." He grumbles, not looking up from the pages of the worn down book.

She leans over him, attempting to read it upside down. "Ah." She grins. "Romeo and Juliet? Good choice."

"What do you need, Lucy Gray?" He asks, closing the book and glaring up at her.

"I've come to extend and invitation to you, we're all going to the lake tomorrow. I think you should come."

"No, thank you."

She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "You didn't chop off all those beautiful gold curls just so you could never see Y/N again, did you?"

His eyes visibly brighten at that, only for a moment. "She's going?" This was the chance he was waiting for. He intended to go to your house that following morning, maybe pick up flowers on the way, a book, or some kind of peace offering, but Sejanus and Lucy Gray shut that down very quickly. Even though he cut his hair almost as soon as he got back to this dump they called a house, they said you still needed time.

"Mhm." Lucy Gray nods, smiling at him knowingly. "She hasn't been working, so I was able to book her for the day."

Had Lucy Gray talked to you about this yet? No. But she knew it would do him some good to get away from this house for a day, whether you were there or not, and she knew that deep down you would want to see him again. A group setting was the best way to do this for everyone. She knew he would be easy to convince, but getting you to agree would be the hard part.

"Okay, okay yeah. I'll come." Coryo nods, looking down. He doesn't know what to do with himself, but he feels like he should be doing something to prepare somehow.

"She's still... sensitive. So be nice."

"I have never not been nice to her."

"Never said you have." Lucy Gray raises an eyebrow at him. "I meant be careful. She may not want to talk to you. I won't tell her you're coming so I can at least get her out the door."

"Why not?" Coryo asks, immediately knowing how stupid that sounds when Lucy Gray lets out a laugh. "I mean, I don't want to scare her off, so she should know. Please be honest with her." He pleads.

Lucy Gray's eyes soften at that. "Okay, you're right. But I'm not tellin' you if she says no. You still have to come." She points at him and he sighs.

"Okay, whatever. Sure."

"You're both just rotting and making it worse for yourselves. You need to get out." She says as she walks back inside, leaving him alone to read.

Coryo smiles to himself as he picks the book up again, continuing where he left off even though he's already read it five or six times.

"You're gonna be fine just fine, Y/N/N. I promise." Lucy Gray assures you as you walk down the path toward the forest where the Covey and Sejanus were waiting. With Coryo.

"I won't let him near ya." Lennox adds, kicking a rock aside as he walks in front of you and your friend.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart. If you want space, tell him. I talked to him about this. He knows not to push you." Lucy Gray whispers to you and you nod, teeth digging into the softness of your cheek.

"I know." You say quietly, arm wrapped around hers. You loved going to the lake, and you've been a couple of times since you've been back, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't hesitant to bring him with you. If it goes poorly, you don't know if you could ever go back.

"Yeah, I gave him a stern talkin' to. Put the fear of god in him, he'll be on his best behaviour." She giggles.

"You didn't actually scare him, did you?" You laugh nervously.

"Of course I did." She says, but you know she's just joking.

"Is Billy Taupe coming?" You ask her after a moment.

Your friend wrinkles up her nose and shakes her head. "No, lord, no." She chuckles. "He's off with that Mayfair. Real class act, they are."

You giggle, squeezing her arm. You take it as they're broken up, at least for now. "I'm sorry, Lucy Gray." You add and feel her shrug under your grip.

"I'm done with him this time." She tells you, shaking her head. "I can't trust him no more."

"One foot in sea and one on shore." You comment and she looks at you, a smile pulling on her lips as she gently pulls you closer, leaning her head on your shoulder.

"Y/N!" Maude Ivory greets the two of you first, running up and throwing her arms around your waist. You jump slightly at the sudden contact, making every effort to catch her with nothing more than a slight gasp and a smile. "I've missed you!"

"Hello, dear." You chuckle, running your hands over the length of her blonde hair. "It's only been a couple of weeks, and you do know where to find me."

"Your friend has a gift for you, come on." She grins, letting you go only to grab your hand and pull you up the rest of the hill.

When Coryo sees you, his instinct is to push his hair back out of his face. That can't happen, so he settles for shifting on his feet and gripping the flower he's holding in his hand as you avoid his gaze and he avoids your brothers. Of course you would hide from him- he doesn't fault you for it. You were nervous, he could tell. And of course Lucy Gray neglected to tell him that Lennox was coming, though, he understood why.

He just wished you were angry at him. That would be far preferable to you being afraid.

"Y/N, hi." Sejanus greets you and you smile at him, giving a quiet wave as you adjust your bag over your shoulder. You packed your book and a blanket with some cherries you picked from the tree behind your house to share with everyone. You can see in your peripheral vision that Coryo has gotten a haircut, but you can't bring yourself to look at him just yet. Or comment on it.

"Alright, let's get movin'! The sun is only up for so long." Lucy Gray claps, not forcing you to have to say hi to Coriolanus before she's urging the group on.

Coryo looks at you as everyone else starts walking, and you nod through everyone to go ahead of you. You hate the idea of having people behind you that you can't see.

Then, finally, your eyes land on him. He smiles, hoping you would want to walk with him.

"Go ahead." You say softly, quickly looking up ahead and Lennox has stopped to wait for you.

"Oh, uh, this is for you." Coryo takes a step closer, holding the yellow daisy out to you that he picked on the walk out. Apparently, you didn't want to walk with him- you just didn't want him behind you. That was a thousand times worse.

You look down at it for a moment, reminding yourself quickly to take it instead of just staring. "Thank you." You reply quietly, delicately plucking the flower from his hold.

"Yeah, of course." He grins, not wanting to give up your attention just yet. "I... I'm really glad you agreed to come."

"It'll be nice. The lake is beautiful." You tell him, glancing over at your brother.

"Come on!" He calls out, impatient. "They're gonna leave us in the dust."

You hold back a sigh as you feel Coryo's eyes on you. You guess you will be walking with him, after all. "Coming!" You smile at him.

It's fine- he's fine. He won't hurt me.

You look up at Coryo, and his eyes are still on you. "Shall we?" He grins, gesturing to the path ahead of you.

Okay, he looks normal. His eyes are normal. Blue, sky blue. Gentle.

"Let us go." You grin at him, holding tightly onto the strap of your bag as it rests across your chest. You look back down at your feet as you walk, mindful of the roots and sticks that may trip or scratch you. You spare a glance at his feet as he joins your side on the narrow path.

Lucy Gray knew that even with her warning that Coryo would likely corner you, but she kept a close eye on you even from up ahead while she talked to Sejanus and practically dragged Lennox along with them so he would give you at least a little bit of space.

You walk in silence for a long time. The trees get thicker as you separate from the meadow and the town, isolating you only further, but you didn't feel unsafe. Not really.

Coryo would take what he could get, but he had to try to talk to you eventually. When he planned out this trip in his head the night before they were set to board the train, he had hoped that the days and nights would be spent together. That you'd say you understood, that you were happy and okay and yes! You would love to take him to the lake you frequented, just the two of you, and 'Oh, we should bring a picnic and just spend the whole day there. It will be so much fun!' And he'd get to see your smile without it quickly fading and he could hold your hand and get that second kiss that he never thought he would receive and everything would be perfect.

He never considered himself much of a dreamer, but something about you made that change. After he got to feel his lips on yours, then on the soft skin of your shoulder and his hands on your waist or locked in yours, there was no going back. He was all yours.

"So," He starts talking after only about an hour of walking. You were almost there, so you took a sharp breath in. You could talk for forty minutes. You could do it. And you wanted to, you remind yourself. "This is quite a hike, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes." You nod. "But we aren't far out now. It's worth it, I promise." You say, eyes still locked on the ground just in front of you.

"Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful walk, just... long." He comments. "And lots of bugs."

"Yes..." You chuckle nervously.

"What's it like?" He asks, desperate just to continue to hear your voice,

"The lake?" You ask, risking a look up at him. His lips form into a smile and he nods, urging you on. "Well," You swallow, trying to organize every detail you remember from last summer, before the games. "The water is very blue, and quite clear. There's a dock, we have the most fun jumping off of it."

Coryo watches your expression intently, trying to inhale every word. You pause, and your face lights up with remembered joy. "My Pa put a rope swing up here for us kids when we were young, and a few summers ago I went to take it- I climbed as far back up as I could before jumping. Then, I felt the branch jerk and I grabbed it tighter, it ended up wrapped around my leg on the way down and I got stuck." You recall the injury, but you're almost laughing. "I got this massive red burn all up the inside of my thigh, and then Lennox ripped the thing down." You giggle, and Coryo swallows. "He was joking, just pretending to even though it was my own fault, but the branch broke clean off and me and Lucy Gray tried to jump out of the way and ended up falling straight into the water."

He laughs with you at that, shaking his head. "Well, I hope your leg wasn't serious." He watches you and you're quick to shake your head.

"No, gosh no." You giggle. "Not worth pulling the whole thing down over, but it wouldn't have been kind to the next kid who swung- that's for sure. So it was probably for the best."

"Fair enough." He shrugs, eyes still glued onto you.

"I'd rather get a burn then have that big ol' thing fall on Maude Ivory or CC. They were just little at the time." He nods. That sounds just like you.

"So you've been friends for a long time, I take it?"

"Well, yes. Since they got stuck here, pretty much."

"Stuck here?" Coryo asks, looking up ahead at the group that was still just within sight.

You look up as well, just to make sure they weren't in earshot. "The Covey isn't District." You explain, voice lowered. "They used to travel everywhere to perform, but then when they got here peacekeepers rounded them up. Executed all their parents, and the kids got stuck here." You tactically leave out the part about his father being the commanding officer at the time.

"Oh."

"I think that's why Lucy Gray can't get over Billy Taupe." You add quietly, watching your friend as she laughs with Sejanus up ahead. "He's one of them, they have so much history. They're on and off, but she'll never abandon him. Not when they've been through so much together. They're the oldest- they've had to take care of the rest of them for almost their whole lives."

Coryo doesn't know what to say. "That's... yeah. I can imagine it would be hard to move on when they're so tied to each other."

You hum in agreement. "Anyway, we met when they were begging outside the market. They set their instruments up and were playing for tips just so they could eat, so my parents stopped and invited them for dinner. They've been with us ever since."

"Your parents are really good people." He comments.

You look up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. "I told you that, didn't I?"

"Well, you told me they weren't rebels. That doesn't mean they're saints." He jokes.

"Feels like anyone less than a saint these days is considered a rebel for one reason or another." You argue, but there's no harshness at all behind your tone.

"Regardless, your parents are safe." He says, hoping that you've forgotten about his father being a peacekeeper general.

"Well, thank you." You laugh slightly, shaking your head. "How is Tigris, by the way? And your Grandmother? Have you spoken to them since you've been away?"

"I've called a few times, yeah. They're doing well." Coryo smiles. "Tigris is taking some time off, she's working on some different projects at home."

"I'm glad to hear that." You smile. "They must be missing you."

"So they say, yeah." He chuckles.

"It's hard to be away from home." You tell him. "I know it all too well."

His smile drops steadily, but he just nods. "Yes. At least I have the guarantee of returning."

You try so hard to steer every conversation you have away from the games, but it never seems to work. People have so many questions, so many comments, and it's a shame that Coryo is no exception. You suppose that was inevitable. He's one of very few people who somewhat know what you went through.

You really wish you had met him some other way.

"I'm sorry." He quickly apologizes, sensing your shifted energy. "That was... I shouldn't have said that."

"No, no. It's okay." You insist. "I just... Everyone wants to talk about it all the time. I can't escape it."

"I should have known better. I'm sorry." He says again, taking in a deep breath. "I wanted to be different. I try so hard to not make you think about it and I should have remembered that before I said anything, I just-"

You shake your head, frowning as you look up at him. "I wouldn't expect you to." You tell him. "If I'm honest, you're the one person I think I am okay with discussing it with."

Coryo has to fight back the smile threatening to pull at his cheeks from the relief. You weren't planning on never talking to him again. This was a great sign. He opens his mouth to speak when he hears shouting from up ahead.

"We made it!" Lucy Gray cheers, and sure enough, he can see the lake appearing through the trees.

"Coryo, you gotta see this!" Sejanus's voice follows.

"We made it." You smile, happy to change the subject. "Come on, the water is going to feel so good."

Then, you're jogging up ahead of him and pulling your bag off to leave on the dock.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl , @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie , @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

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kiragecko · 2 months

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cherrystainedknuckles

I guess the only problem with being asked to take a “marie kondo approach” is that in order to find any fanfic that appears to be based in actual canon timeline and plot points and characterization (which does exist, and I’m not sure why fanon fans seem insistent that it doesn’t), I literally have to search for hours. I’m not joking, I consistently make fic rec lists, and I have to search for hours and hours for actual canonical basis. same thing with character tags on tumblr.

I’m not saying fanon fans have to stop enjoying fanon or making up their own content. I’m just saying that when the tags used for both fanon tim drake and canon tim drake are the same tag it just becomes incredibly annoying sometimes, and I understand why people who like to engage with canon (me, often) become frustrated

I have definitely had periods where I got incredibly frustrated with fanon! Around 2019, I was wondering if I needed to leave the Batfandom, because it had been so long since I read a new fic where the characters felt 'right'.

But, if you're willing to, I'd like you to consider what you mean when you divide 'fanon' from 'canon'. Because I struggle to find a hard line between the two, for several reasons:

1. Fandom is transformative. Every fanfic is going to have some interpretation of the source material. The line between what is too much interpretation and what is acceptable is different for every person. For me, I find it can even vary based on writing style or other odd things - lighthearted fic can have more noncanonical stuff in it than heavier fic, and still seem true to canon.

2. 'Canon' is subjective. I do not consider the movies or video games to be 'canon', and it annoys me when things from those creep into the fic I'm reading. (I'm okay with SOME Battinson.) Some aspects of the cartoons are okay. I consider precrisis Jason Todd to be an alternate reality version, but Donna's precrisis origins are more canonical than the dumb retcons. Wayne Family Adventures isn't my main version of the characters, but I'm not bothered if some elements show up in my stories. I'm ignoring most of the nu52, but I like Duke and I'm still watching this new Lian to see what happens. I doubt your divisions are identical to mine.

(Also, some things that I think of as 'fanon' have shown up in nu52 canon! I do not accept them as any more canon because of this.)

3. Most 'fanon' is based on canon. Canon Tim has weird sleep habits. 90s Dick is really lighthearted and joking around some characters in ways similar to fanon. Dick can canonically not be trusted to take care of himself if his mental health gets low enough. Jason likes classical literature. Etc.

These are exaggerated and/or twisted in a lot of fic, but where is the line where they stop being canon? I wouldn't bat an eye at a lot of this stuff, if it didn't show up SO OFTEN.

4. Most 'fanon fans' do know some canon. What line are you going to set where it will be 'enough'. And are they allowed to mention parts of the canon they haven't read yet? Is anyone allowed to talk about Dick's early Robin days, or only the tiny amount of people who have read the golden age stuff? A lot of the 'mistakes' I see are obviously made by people who have read ABOUT canon, but don't know quite how it fits together.

5. 'Canon' is FULL of contradictions. Yes, there are canon events. Yes, there is characterization that is consistent across 3/4s of comics. But. I'm still working on my sidekick timeline. I've devoted days to figuring out ages and passage of time. I've spent over a decade trying to figure out Jason Todd's motivations, and why Tim treats him the way he does. I've read all the 90s and early 2000s CANONICAL character assassination of Jason.

I spent years thinking that Donna's death was almost as foundational as Jason's, only to later discover that I had just happened to read the specific comics that focused on the fallout, and she only stayed dead for a short time. That happens to fans ALL THE TIME! We read a character summarizing an event we haven't directly read, and just accept it as what happened. But characters have biases, and not all writers care about accuracy.

I've read some Tim Drakes that I consider to be almost entirely 'fanon'. And quite a few that were so scarily 'canon' that I got chills. (Not all of which were similar to each other.) But the vast, vast majority have fallen somewhere in the middle.

I definitely do not want the responsibility of deciding which ones count as 'canon'! And I think I would strongly dislike anyone who tried to decide for me.

Being frustrated is logical, and I empathize. But the original post was about the impossible expectations some fans feel. The expectation to read thousands of comics, synthesize all the contradictions, and come to conclusions that match the 'true fans'. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to be complaining about.

If that's what some fans are experiencing, of course they're not going to want to engage with canon! There's no way for them to succeed, so why should they even try?

When you join THAT conversation to discuss your frustration about fanon, it strengthens that perception. When you call them 'fanon fans' it emphasizes their belief that you don't think they belong. And rather than trying to change, it's more likely that they'll double down. Canon is full of gatekeepers, so they'll avoid it.

#gatekeeping #fandom policing #fanon #canon vs fanon #usually don't do stuff like this anymore #I'm old and tired #but sometimes the words want to come out

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cain-speaks · 10 months

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✨ 𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙎𝙊𝙉, 𝙎𝙄𝙓-𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝙈𝘼𝘾𝘼𝙌𝙐𝙀, & 𝙒𝙐𝙆𝙊𝙉𝙂 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼𝙉 𝘼𝘿𝙃𝘿 𝙎/𝙊 ✨|| Various x Reader

» three-thirty (AJR) « 0:45 ─〇───── 4:07

╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗ AUTHOR'S NOTE ╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝ ➤ These are headcanons. ➤ This is romantic. ➤ Reader is afab & uses she/her! ➤ I don't think I went as in depth as I could have been I still hope it's accurate and you enjoy it! ➤ TRIGGER WARNINGS include profanity, a little bit of angst, and minor violence. ➤ Word count: 1,325

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

❝ You wanna skip it if it's wordy, but fit the whole song in three-thirty .❞

╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗ 🔥 REDSON 🔥 ╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝ ➤ Before he finds out you have ADHD, I imagine he's confused by your behavior at best, and frustrated by it at worst.

➤ Your daydreaming and procrastination can be annoying for him (who's always about work, work, work), and when you're talking to him about your fixations, he either gets irritated because he has no idea what you're talking about or because he thinks you're making fun of him since he often rambles about his inventions even if no one's listening.

➤ He just doesn't understand why you're doing those things and neither do you. It causes a lot of struggles for you both, leading to shit communication and hurt feelings.

➤ When you're finally diagnosed, Redson listens very closely. Things are starting to make sense, but you still don't have as much information as he'd like. He researches ADHD in AFAB people on his own time (and rages quite a few times that there's so little information compared to ADHD in AMAB), but he finally understands by the end of it.

➤ And boy does he feel shitty.

➤ The idea that he blew up at you for things out of your control makes him feel ashamed, especially when some of those things (like info-dumping) are signs of affection. So you don't see him for a while, partially due to some unhealthy self-punishment on his end and also because he's trying to come up with a solution; that being a way to make it up to you, of course, not "fix" you.

➤ When Redson stops avoiding you, he takes you out on a date with all your favorite activities and thoroughly apologizes to you. He promises to change his behaviors to accommodate and support you.

➤ (Which might have made you cry, considering you've always been treated like you're the problem.)

➤ True to his word, Redson changes a lot. He leaves little notes for you as reminders, sets alarms for you, helps you finish or do tasks you don't have the energy for, etc. He even starts encouraging your fixation rambles, reading up on the source material so he can ask questions.

➤ He also does his very best to read up on masking and burnout so he can a.) keep you from going there or b.) recognize the signs when you are there and help you. I like to imagine he made a sensory room for you that has all your favorite stuff and you can just go there to chill and unwind.

➤ He's also super protective over you. If people make fun of your stims, say you talk a lot, undermine your sensory issues, etc., he will DESTROY them. No way in hell is he letting you be disrespected like that. Verbal smackdown, here we come.

➤ Ultimately, it's a learning process. But it's one he's more than willing to thoroughly explore for you.

╔⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤╗ 🔮 SIX-EARED MACAQUE 🔮 ╚⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤╝ ➤ HONESTLY I headcanon Macaque as autistic so I feel like he sorta had an inkling that you were ADHD before you did.

➤ Probably made jokes like "it's the ADHD lol" for certain behaviors until you decided to do some research on it and were like "🧍‍♂️ yeah so—"

➤ Not surprised at all when you're diagnosed obviously. He uses the opportunity to show you a lot of coping mechanisms he's learned (though some have to be tweaked for your needs since autism isn't ADHD lol), and even begins to unmask more around you.

➤ Since Macaque thrives under routine/structure, he often handles reminders. He also keeps you on track, verbally and physically, if you have stuff to do. ALSO is super on you about food, since he likes cooking.

➤ Macaque's experienced dozens of burnouts in his long life, so he knows how awful they are. He can sniff out a burnout a mile away so I'd like to think that you don't experience many while with him. The dojo's pretty chill like 90% of the time due to his own sensory issues so it's a good place to unwind and relax.

➤ You guys have picked up so many phrases from each other. He'll be working on a script for a shadowplay while you're cleaning and he'll just hear you laugh and go, "wow, didn't see that one comin'." It definitely flusters him that he's part of your echolalia.

➤ Macaque rambles to you about theatrical pieces from various cultures. If you introduce him to new ones, tell him something he doesn't know about a piece he's already familar with, etc. he'll kiss you istg. Anyway this is to say the feeling is obviously mutual and he probably ends up getting into some of the stuff you tell him about!

➤ You guys mutually bully each other lmao. You'll be trying to do some work, get to talking to him about whatever comes to you, and then suddenly it's three hours later. You're like "FUCK" meanwhile he just laughs at you (you get him back, of course, and it's all in good fun).

➤ He barely thinks beating anyone who talks shit is an overreaction, but if you don't like it then you'll just have a clone stick around in your shadow or smth and scare the shit out of anyone who decides to open their mouth.

➤ In summary, Macaque is very helpful and teaches you coping skills when it comes to sensory issues + overload.

╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗ 🍑 SUN WUKONG 🍑 ╚⏤⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤⏤╝ ➤ First off, I headcanon Wukong as ADHD, too.

➤ With that said, I feel like Wukong just. Assumed you knew you were ADHD and rolled with it.

➤ Like you guys constantly quoted/repeated stuff and stimmed at/with each other. You'd get in loops. You'd adapt each other's phrases/stims. Neurotypicals don't do that.

➤ It's genuinely amusing thinking about you two just repeating the same things at each other. It's such a serotonin boost and it makes you both laugh. Same for when you stim together, especially hand-flapping and jumping up and down.

➤ You're both trash at remembering stuff but fortunately you seem to have an awful lot of capacity for the other. Meaning you remind Wukong he has a session with MK today because he forgot, and he reminds you that you agreed to make noodles with Pigsy today because you forgot.

➤ I don't think remembering to eat or drink is a big problem for you, since Wukong is a big comfort eater and shares his snacks with you so you kinda just,, roll with it lol.

➤ Wukong has a bunch of homemade stim tools. Once he sees that you're interested, he makes some more for you. Even after your diagnosis, you don't try "professionally" made stim toys—you just don't need them when Wukong's work so well.

➤ You guys spend hours talking about your interests, ping-ponging off each other. Like "OH did you know x?" "NO but did you hear about x?" x1000.

➤ You guys also bully each other. Like "hey Great Sage you forgot do the dishes again you crusty bitch" "says the dumbass who started folding laundry and then did a fashion show with the monkeys".

➤ Like Macaque, Wukong's had his fair share of burnouts. Unfortunately, he's not super good at preventing them or even realizing he's in them until it's been a few months, but you guys take care of each other if the other is struggling. You're also very aware of the other's limits so if one of you is pushing it, you can help each other step back.

➤ He's a talk shit get hit kinda guy, sorry. He barely leaves the mountain as is, so if during one of the few times someone decides to be a dick while you guys are stimming together? He'll hold back just enough, but he has no sympathy if their nose breaks.

➤ Basically nothing changes after you get diagnosed lol. You and Wukong are very happy ADHD gremlins who are celebrating your neurodivergency :)

❝ I thought I had the ADHD, but that's a real thing (and I'm just lazy) .❞

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 4 months

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I saw your post about book!Aegon and I kinda find it funny how the show didn't actually write aegon ii based on how he is in the book, but they instead took many charactaztions from Aerys the mad and Aegon the unworthy and mix it in one character in the show and called it a day. I am not even a fan of the greens in general but show!Aegon ii is colser to Aegon iv and Aerys ii than to book!Aegon ii

I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this anon!

There's a lot I could say about show!Aegon II and I struggle with this one because there's certainly some disconnect between the character as described by the writers and Tom Glynn-Carney, and how the majority of the viewers perceived him. I don't think the writers are intentionally borrowing from Aegon IV and Aerys II, but I do think that if they didn't intend for him to be a sadist or an irredeemable sack of shit, which is what they claim, the writers have been kind of careless as to how they go about that.

What's interesting is that I remember watching when the show first aired, and the reactions to young Aegon were quite positive going into episode eight. Young show!Aegon is quite entertaining (window wanking aside), friendly enough with the Strong boys (fans had not latched onto the whole "Aemond was a victim of lifelong bullying" narrative quite yet at that point), expresses quite clearly that he doesn't want to challenge Rhaenyra, is manhandled, yelled at, kicked, and slapped around by adults in almost every scene he appears in, is developing an alcohol problem at the ripe old age of thirteen, is betrothed much too young to his sister when he clearly doesn't want to marry her, and finally sees his brother lose his eye and gets thrown under the bus for it. Like, on a base level the show had built a lot of audience sympathy and goodwill towards him, and then they burned that goodwill in an instant with the Dyana scene, and then burned it further with the child fighting pit scenes (and boy they really missed the mark there because a good portion of the audience seemed to think Aegon runs the child fighting pits, or that he "forces" his bastards to fight there), which is such a bizarre choice. The time jump doesn't help. It's our first introduction to Tom Glynn-Carney's Aegon and his portrayal is just oozing with pathos (and really, hats off to him for that, he is the sole reason grown up show!Aegon is even mildly sympathetic) but there's so little screentime with him that it's hard to connect that kid asking his mother "do you love me" and crying at his own coronation (who is very much the kid who said he wouldn't challenge Rhaenyra and who said, "just look at them, everyone knows") with the same guy who supposedly watches child fights and rapes the maids.

That said, when you recall that the showrunners have reiterated the idea that the real conflict in the show is between Alicent and Rhaenyra and they want the show to center around them, it makes more sense in that those moments in episode eight are not really about Aegon at all, they're about Alicent. Alicent pays off Dyana, Alicent is angry with Aegon and says "you're no son of mine," and that leads directly to Alicent's attempted reconciliation with Rhaenyra-- she's fed up with this man child of hers and maybe the realm should just have a queen! Aegon is just a tool to get Alicent's character to a certain point that she never got to in the first place in the source material, a position Alicent almost immediately reverses because the source plot demands it. And this I think is one of the problems with HotD's inconsistent characterization overall, is that they're trying to fit characters into a narrative space that they weren't originally written to occupy.

And I understand that they were never going to make Aegon a protagonist, and that the showrunners are likely not likely gutsy enough to do a Succession style narrative where there is no protagonist but where Aegon and Rhaenyra are both equally flawed people, doomed from the start, but sympathetic enough that we can't help but hope against hope that they might escape that doom somehow. However, the Dance is a lot more tragic and compelling on a base level if Aegon is not a total villain but this very troubled guy who never really wanted the throne, feels backed into a corner because he doesn't want his family to die, takes the throne, and with each loss becomes increasingly convinced that he has to win. And they could still do this, but right now the vast majority of this audience just sees him as the rapist asshole brother (who is not even the good brother, that is Aemond who has studied the blade) stealing poor Rhaenyra's birthright for no reason except that he was manipulated by his lying evil mother and her lying evil father, and they see it as very very wrong and unfair since she is obviously a better person and would make a better ruler, just like Dany. To me, the latter is just not a compelling narrative, and I cannot imagine that the writers believe it's a compelling narrative either, so hopefully they get their characterization under control for season 2.

#asks #hotd critical #aegon ii targaryen #tom glynn carney

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emilykaldwen · 2 months

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I don’t understand what anon means by making people pariahs. This is a huge, massive fandom. If people block you, just go find others to talk to. There is no shortage of people discussing this show and its source material. You can find the ones you vibe with! Someone choosing not to engage with you isn’t a real problem.

This absolutely might be a generational thing. My understanding of those who are currently in their early/mid-20s is that Blocking is a huge thing? Like I remember my youngest cousin being really upset in school about girls blocking her on IG, and I was so confused because these girls at school were mean to my cousin.

And I don't quite remember what she said but basically blocking was seen as ostracizing. Equivalent to me walking into my 8th grade classroom and the whole class going 'ewwww' for... some bizarre reason I had no idea about (I only knew like two people in that school like what the hell?)

Additionally, it might be twitter thing too. I genuinely don't know and Tumblr has always had a culture of 'don't like, just block', which might be confusing for users that aren't used to that.

Point being, I encourage people to block if they're upset. Like genuinely, no one knows if they've been blocked unless you go directly to their blog. I don't have to know you, or anything about you to block. It's something very simple as seeing a post, going 'oh those do not vibe with me' and just removing it from my feed. It's like being at a really big party and choosing not to go to that part of the room.

Blocking is, genuinely, nothing personal for most people.

I will also say when my anons increased last year, I got very mercenary with my blocking, which I think is a normal response for people coming into your inbox when you're literally sitting here with minimal interaction all because I started posting Aegon x OC fic.

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sexyandhedonistic · 9 months

Text

Reacting to and correcting the worst Law of Assumption post on Tumblr.

Hello, my loves. For sexyandhedonistic's 2nd anniversary (Sept 1st) I thought it would be fun to revisit one of my very first posts to point and laugh at as someone who was terribly misinformed when first joining the community. I have stated on multiple occasions that I have outgrown so many of my terrible beliefs and it's always such a relief to see that I know better now. Anyway, let's get into it.

The correct way to manifest

Hi again! Today I wanted to address something that I feel I should elaborate a bit more on, partially as a disclaimer and partially as something that is crucial to remember. I know plenty of newbies in the community are rendered susceptible to what different people have to say about what to do and how to do it and it creates uncertainty, self doubt and disorientation. We all know what the law of assumption is and what it means: what you assume to be true, is. This is no exception for the ways in which you feel are best to manifest. Although I strongly endorse studying Neville Goddard's work to acquire a steady foundation of what the law is and how to work with it, you don’t need to be familiar with his teachings to manifest but I will continue to be an advocate for such. That said, here’s the secret: You create the rules

I've previously stated how I feel about "you create the rules" so I won't explain again but to recap:

It doesn't make sense!

Not only for the reasons I listed in the link above but because there is a distinction between rules and principle. People often interchange the two so to them something like "I don't need to feel the wish fulfilled" may feel like a third eye-opening revolutionary take and to think otherwise is limiting because of whatever reason but when you know the law.. it really isn't. It's silly, in fact. And you know something? I would've thought this was revolutionary two years ago. It just makes sense doesn't it? If I assume I don't need to feel then that should be okay because the law of assumption means whatever you assume must be true etc etc. (Yes I was one of those people who thought loopholing the law of assumption just made sense.) Before anyone thinks I'm bringing up a really hot new idea (I don't need to feel the wish fulfilled) let me explain why that doesn't make sense:

Feeling means to accept, so what do you mean you don't need to accept something as true for it to manifest.../?!!?? You see why something like this is quite literally nonsensical? Please, pleaseeeee read about the law of assumption from someone who doesn't film themselves speaking [hint: Neville Goddard or Edward Art] before you risk looking ignorant the way I unfortunately did when I first joined this community. I cannot tell you the amount of disappointingly misinformed posts I have come across from myself and my mutuals alike ever since that I now am able to look at and feel relieved by the fact that I know way better now.

"I strongly endorse studying Neville Goddard's work to acquire a steady foundation of what the law is and how to work with it" She's always been correct about this one I'm afraid.

"You don’t need to be familiar with his teachings to manifest" This one is right and wrong. You don't need to because manifesting isn't a Neville thing and people have manifested without knowing about the law of assumption. However, if you intend to work with the law of assumption, what is a "Neville thing", and put it into practice, then yes you do need to be familiar with his teachings. It doesn't really make sense for you to be interested in something without understanding it fully and butchering it in the process, now does it? Seriously, you guys. I cannot emphasize this enough:

Read. Source. Material.

You decide what works and how it works! Objects and activities like crystals, scripting, subliminals, affirming and persisting, commanding, 555/369, vision boards, and gratitude are not imperative in order for you to manifest. There are hundreds of people out there spreading their beliefs about the law and how to do it correctly... as if it were a fact. This is why, as I've stated previously, I strongly discourage you from getting your information off of social media or simply too many sources in general because different opinions will create confusion for you (which is why sticking to a single instructor aka Father Neville who knows what he's talking about would be a good idea). Not only that, but so many people have a tendency to share their limiting beliefs which include but are not limited to: not being able to manifest physical changes or a specific person, avoiding negative words like no don't can't in affirmations, consuming any means of media that are upsetting because they'll interfere, etc. None of these beliefs are true, but if you believe that they are then they will be. You don’t need to use SATS and you don’t need to script. At the end of the day, we are manifesting 24/7 through the story we reiterate in out heads. These methods simply serve as a bolster for those who feel more comfortable and confident using them.

"You decide what works and how it works!" sjhkdfklfkhgfdksjkkla

"Objects and activities like crystals, scripting, subliminals, affirming and persisting, commanding, 555/369, vision boards, and gratitude are not imperative in order for you to manifest. " She's not wrong, but while we're on the topic of gratitude, it's literally the wish fulfilled. I used to associate gratitude with law of attraction so I wouldn't agree with it as relevant to manifesting but the more I've thought about it, it suddenly hit me that that's literally feeling the wish fulfilled because it's acceptance. When you accept, you feel grateful, do you not? Anyway, we encourage gratitude here at sexyandhedonistic.

" You don’t need to use SATS" This isn't wrong but I love the state akin to sleep so actually it is wrong.

"At the end of the day, we are manifesting 24/7 through the story we reiterate in out heads." Right. It's called consciousness is the only reality.

People think the law has certain rules and because they believe them, it becomes a truth for them. It's up to you to decide what does and doesn't work for you! There are people who can just command their subconscious mind and do nothing else. There are people who’ve manifested a literal face swap overnight. Nevertheless, whatever method you feel works best, they all come down to the same core belief and that is KNOWING it'll work.

"People think the law has certain rules and because they believe them, it becomes a truth for them." *facepalm* Okay queen let's not mix up principles and rules. Methods are something completely independent (and optional), what matters is feeling because feeling is the secret.

On another note notice how I literally never ever ever talk about the subconscious mind anymore <3 it activates my fight-or-flight response because I remember the days when we all thought we had to "saturate" it with affirmations robotically and whatnot... All you need is imagination and faith (feeling), you guys <3. (But if you would like explanations that mention the subconscious mind I suggest checking out feeling is the secret [linked above], I would not suggest Joseph Murphy as he had some limiting beliefs such as not being able to manifest certain things).

"Whatever method you feel works best, they all come down to the same core belief and that is KNOWING it'll work" My sister in Christ, the word you are looking for is FEELING, not "knowing". They can be used interchangeably, yes, but I feel so absurd rereading my old posts and saying "(the state of) knowing" when I should've been saying feeling.

Manifesting should not feel like a chore, it should be a simple, fun and easy task to do! You do not need to lift a finger to manifest. Whatever you think it'll take to get it done, will be it. If you think you have to yell out your affirmations at the top of your lungs then that’s what it’ll take for them to work. If you think you need a crystal collection the size of east LA to manifest then start saving up or manifest them. This is the beauty about the law of assumption. You create the rules. Now that you’re understanding that you can create your own rules, have fun with it! Not only do you get to decide what works, but you also decide how well it works. Do you get subliminal results after one listen? Do you manifest in a week? Overnight? Will gratitude bring you your results quicker? Are you the best manifestor in the world and nothing can interfere with your manifestations? You literally call the shots. No matter what you pick, stick to it and KNOW it works. Good luck!

"Manifesting should not feel like a chore, it should be a simple, fun and easy task to do!" I mean yeah... I agree fully that it shouldn't feel taxing and tedious and you most definitely shouldn't treat it as a routine (ex. set alarms to affirm every hour...), it should definitely feel liberating and comforting because this is is about being that which you desire to be. In Neville's own words:

We often are deprived of our high goal by our effort to possess it. We are called upon to act on the assumption that we already are the man we would be. If we do this without effort, experiencing in imagination what we would experience in the flesh had we realized our goal, we shall find that we do, indeed, possess it. - Answered Prayer

"You do not need to lift a finger to manifest" Yeah <3 As I always say, being > doing.

"This is the beauty about the law of assumption. You create the rules... Do you get subliminal results after one listen? Do you manifest in a week? Overnight? Will gratitude bring you your results quicker? Are you the best manifestor in the world and nothing can interfere with your manifestations? You literally call the shots." Pleasee please please PLEASE be quiet.

You guys I had to put on a hazmat suit to go through this post. I think if there was such a thing as a written version of what a six day old McChicken with extra mayonnaise left out in the hot Texas summer sun would taste like... it would be this post, but at least it's over now, so to conclude:

1. You cannot tweak principle 2. Methods are not what manifest 3. FEELING is the secret 4. Read source material

I hope this post has encouraged some of you to not repeat the same mistakes or misinformation I did as well as made you reevaluate your approach towards the law of assumption. This post is not entirely horrendous but it was horrendous enough that I decided to remove it from my blog. There is way better information that has surfaced ever since and I warn you guys once again from the risks of learning about it from someone who doesn't know what they're talking about. One of the most absurd and ridiculous beliefs I used to have and got from a certain blogger on here was that "you don't need to work on your self concept to manifest".......... I do not feel like getting into why this is does not make sense at all and why every time I would see someone say "Neville didn't work on his self concept to go to Barbados!" I would simply side eye, but anyway.

Please dedicate time to really learn about the law of assumption from Neville Goddard himself or from Edward Art's Reddit posts. My understanding of the law may have evolved ever since but something that has unfortunately not changed in this community is the circulation of misinformation. It only harms you guys and will consequently incite frustration because someone told you that your thoughts manifest (not true) and suddenly you're spiraling because you think you need to be flipping all of them (you do not). I know I made multiple jokes throughout but do not take this advice lightly and do not deem this post as me saying that I'm right and everyone else is wrong. I'm advising you all as someone who's been through all of it and wants better for you. Please choose your sources wisely and please learn from my mistakes.

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blushedarmybunny · 1 year

Text

After his Shadow part 2 || Jeon Jungkook x Fem Reader

♡ Pairing: Athlete!Jeon Jungkook x fem reader

♡ Word count: 2.5 k

♡ Genre: Angst (m), toxic relationship.

♡ summary:

He is the most loved athlete in Korea, and you are just his girlfriend until after four years you decide to leave him and is the best and at the same time the worst thing you could have ever done.

This is part 2, here is part 1

You stepped out of the car into a sea of flashing lights that blinded you momentarily. Your lawyer and his assistant grabbed your arms and guided you through the hungry press and the public who were clamoring to catch a glimpse of you.

All you wanted was for this nightmare to be over, but there was nothing you could do until the legal matters were resolved. Jungkook’s fans were there of course, they screamed your name and called for justice, waving protest signs and shouting stupid accusations. You were both intimidated and scared of the outcome, yet you hoped your case would prevail, all this pain should have a paid off.

As you made your way through the courthouse doors, the shouts and camera clicks seemed to grow louder. Your anxiety grew with each step, wondering if the truth would even matter among so much public outrage, these four years and no one has ever taken your side.

How did you get here? How was Jungkook capable of doing this to you, the so called “love of your life”?

You had been living in self-imposed isolation for a week after the scandal broke when an unexpected visitor knocked at your door. A journalist stood on your porch, trying to pitch an interview. You initially refused whatever she was trying to pitch but she was persistent, showing up day after day, then it started to rain, raindrops pouring all over the porch.

You invited her in and served her some coffee. "I'm on your side, you know," she said sipping her cup "This guy is a jerk, I know his fans are so loud and that's the reason I'm here, to give you a voice."

You put the mug on the table and stood up from the couch completely uninterested on her offer.

"Carrie you are so kind to take interest in my side of the story, but I have to decline," you said to her after a pause.

She stood up from her seat determined.

"I don't understand, they are crucifying you out there!" Carrie exclaimed but you did not move an inch, it was not new to you "You want disappear, just like that?" Carrie exclaimed, her voice rising with urgency and frustration.

You gave her a glance indicating your intentions, if she only knew...

"It calms me even more, that I don't have a clue of what is going on," you confessed. Carrie opened her eyes wider.

"Honey, I thought that you were all lawyered up and bout' to sue your ex," Carrie said with tenacity.

"Why would you think of that?" You furrowed your brow in confusion.

"Honey, I never reveal my sources," she said taking a step closer to you. "But I mean, it's obvious you have enough material to accuse him of defamation!"

You shook your head with an ironic smile.

"Jungkook? Korea's beloved star? I'll lose and whatever possible reward it can't compare to being a social pariah."

Carrie nodded and gathered her things. Her voice softened as she said, "Aren't you even curious about what has been the latest tea on your ex?" you walked her to the door.

You doubted at first but gave up "sure, what happened?"

"He quit football," Carrie said adjusting her glasses , you look at her in surprise but did not reply. Carrie gave you her business card. "Call me, if you change your mind, remember that your voice is important."

You closed the door, still in shock. Jungkook had never gone that far, and you weren't sure what to do next. You couldn't hide from the world forever but you wish you could.

………………..

The fact is that you never called Carrie again, you were not a fool to trying to go not only publicly but legally against the most famous and loved athlete in Korea. All the mess that would encounter yourself into was not something you willingly would do, Jungkook just kept dragging you into every mess, even to his own image wrecking scandal.

Yet doubt was your own personal demon. What if there was truth to be told, justice to be found? You replayed Carrie's plea in your mind, but the thought of facing the horde of fans and media filled you with dread.

No thanks. You thought.

The thing is that you had probably never presented in court to accuse him publicly if the next chain of events never happened. It all started when no other than Park Jimin calling you. Park Jimin!

Ex-idol now showbiz sensation, what you later called the agent of chaos in this whole circus, as per usual in this moment of your life you declined whatever he was offering to you, but Jimin wasn’t taking a no for an answer.

“Let me take you out for dinner, please” he pleaded.

“Why any of you cannot leave me alone? Jungkook is the celebrity here, I’m just trying to live my life” you sighed.

“oh c’mon, I’m no stranger to you” he said in a low voice. Though you'd made surface level small talk at events, Jungkook's close presence prevented deeper connections.

“You are not my friend either!” you replied getting irritated.

"Think about it" Jimin pleaded "Let me see you, at least"

“I’m not in Korea, Mr. Park” you told him trying to get him off once for all, in hopes to dissuade him.

“Oh you aren’t? no problem, I’ll go whatever you tell me” Jimin was smooth as per usual.

After the call you thought about it the whole night, what kind of closure is the most appropriate to this whole shitshow? You still were bitter after all, Jungkook never stopped cheating on you, making you feel less, but all the people were seeing now was a broken man or whatever front he was putting.

So you went to dinner with Park Jimin, letting him smooth talk you into returning to Korea for an interview. He charmed you with alcohol, filling your glass often. His handsome appearance, a forbidden fruit for 4 years under Jungkook's jealousy, further swayed you.

You sensed Jimin's true motive was exploiting your story, but the promise of revenge against Jungkook was too tempting. Reentering your break up scandal felt terrifying, yet liberating.

"You want me to go on your show and trash Jungkook, don’t you?” you accused “Reveal all the dirty details?" you asked Jimin sharply.

Jimin leaned forward, his gaze lingering on yours. "I want to give you a platform to tell your story." His voice dropped lower. "The public deserves to see how gorgeous you are when you're angry."

With a deep breath, you stood up. Jimin's flirtatious charm both intrigued and unnerved you. But it was time to reenter the storm.

“Ok, I’m in” you sentenced drinking the remaining wine in your glass.

……………………

In under a week, you found yourself back in Korea, sneaking into the country under Jimin's careful arrangements to keep a low profile. You encountered no one as you made your way to the studio, hiding behind sunglasses and a cap.

Sitting across from him in the blinding studio lights, microphone in hand, you took a deep breath.

You spoke your truth calmly and quietly, leaving out the most painful and incriminating details of Jungkook's failings. There was no need to slander him also the fear of the crowd made you hold back. But at the end of the day, you simply wanted to give an honest account of your experience to counter the ones sided narrative the public had consumed until now.

As the interview ended, a peace filled you. You have told as much of your story as you felt was just. Now it was up to the viewers to decide what weight to give your words.

That peace would not last long. You were naively unaware the interview was live.

so when you slowly walking to the exit of the studio you did not expect the crowd of paparazzi and curious people flashing their phones cameras in your face.

You came back wanting to curse out loud, you notice Jimin looking at your confused state and you walk on him ready to tell him off.

“I know it’s crazy outside, my driver would take you to your hotel, it’s a black car” he assured you before you could open your mouth “Security will pull everybody out of the way”

You made your second attempt not even looking at what you were doing at the moment you closed the door of the car, the vehicle started moving seconds after.

Imagine your surprise when the voice of Jungkook gives you the jumps care of your life.

“Nice show you just gave” he said flatly, without emotion.

Your head could not have turned faster than it did, right before your eyes, there it was: Jeon Jungkook in the flesh.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you could barely say after a few seconds of silence.

“No-uh” Jungkook said clicking his tongue like you would do to a stray cat to attract him “You don’t get to have an attitude after all this fuckery you just did to me” Jungkook snapped, eyes fixed on the road. “end us like that and despairing was one thing, but getting with Park Jimin?” he enunciated with more force making you flinch, you felt your stomach churn and palms started to sweat.

“Jungkook, you and I know that I did omit a lot of shit” you just said not wanting to keep going with the direction of the conversation, much less with him at the wheel. “No matter what, your damn fans will still be there to condemn me, once again”

Jungkook slammed the wheel in frustration.

The car speeds through the Seoul streets while Jungkook's rage filled rant fills the enclosed space.

“Fuck, yn are you listening to your self right now!?” he almost screamed you look at him with a little more nervousness “Don’t loose the train of thought here, first you left me and how kind of you for notifying me like it was reminder to buy milk” Jungkook expressed making emphasis on certain words and gesticulating with one hand, eyes still on the road.

“Then you runaway like a fucking coward, despairing from the face of the earth” Jungkook said lowing his voice like a calm before the storm “while I was literally All. Fucked .Up” he gave little punches to the wheel, his intonation making you feel like his words are daggers thrown at you.

Every slam of his fist against the wheel makes you flinch as you notice Jungkook's appearance: gaunt cheeks, dark circles, the subtle shadowing his trembling jaw. His once gentle eyes are now wild and shiny.

“And when you reappear…” Jungkook made a pause “When you fucking reappear I see you dining with that fag park Jimin, and how you are dragging to the mud our 4 year relationship, do you fucking get what I’m saying?!” Jungkook exclaims with a loud voice.

“Jungkook, you need to relax” you told him making your voice calm and recollected.

“oh babe, you are not here to make suggestions, you better shut up and listen” for the first time Jungkook turn for a few seconds to see you, that damn smirk on his lips and a shine on his eyes that was new to you, you didn’t like that at all.

His knuckles turn white as he clutches the wheel, veins standing out against his pale hands.

“No, no” you shook your head “what you heard on the show, that was it Jungkook, that’s how this ends, there’s no more to talk leave me wherever I’m going to take a tax-“

“You wanted to humiliate me, Yn that was a new low” Jungkook said and then he chuckled “you wanted me to be throw out of my pedestal, didn’t you? So you could have your little heroine moment?” he mocked. “babe, we both coming down” Jungkook sentenced.

You saw a broken, desperate man clinging to the last shreds of his ego and it terrified you.

You brace yourself for the unknown as the car races through the city at increasing speeds. Now all you can do is cling to what little hope remains and pray you both make it through the darkness intact.

You plead him to stop but it was no use, Jungkook only increases the speed. His driving grows even more erratic, the car switching between lanes.

You immediately panic, you look out for the door handle but Jungkook slams the lock down. You're trapped.

Rage deforms Jungkook's once handsome face into a vicious mask. He hits the steering wheel over and over, screaming that he'll make you pay for leaving him that’s the moment your tears blur your vision.

You never meant to push Jungkook this far over the edge but now you fear for your life in this speeding car.

Suddenly, you hear police sirens behind you. Jungkook’s erratic driving has attained unwanted attention in a city where everyone stays in line. You prayed silently with hope flourishing once again.

“Fuck!” Jungkook curses and slams on the gas.

the police car won’t stop either. A few meters further there is a clear line of traffic, you saw how everything now was going in your favor.

Jungkook once again tries to escape but fails as the third police car blocks his path. You sighted relief.

Both of you were taken to station and then thrown again to the streets where the press was over the moon trying to get the best shot.

It was the very next day after that traumatic experience that you were given papers , turning the pages you realized that his agency was suing you for defamation over the interview. You scoffed but were not surprised.

At the trial, Jungkook's agency painted you as a crazy ex seeking fame and fortune through damaging Jungkook's reputation. But your lawyer methodically dismantled their arguments.

While you had omitted details in the interview, nothing you said was untrue. And the police report showing Jungkook's erratic and threatening behavior in the car undermined the defamation claim.

The jury saw through Jungkook's agency's sensational accusations, recognizing you had spoken honestly from a place of hurt.

When the jury came back with a verdict in your favor, you felt beyond relieved ready to move on to the next chapter of your life.

With the lawsuit behind you, you could finally begin to heal. The scars of your relationship remained, but you had reclaimed your voice and your truth. And sometimes, that's the most we can hope for when love falls apart.

Yes you made Korea look at his beloved athlete with different eyes, and at last you did not felt any once of guilt about it.

#bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook bts #jungkook fanfic #bts fic #jungkook angst #jungkook established relationship #angst jungkook x reader #jungkook fem reader

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idsfantasy · 6 months

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Okay so, head up, I think your videos are cool and I respect the effort and work you put into theories. I also understand not every theory is going to be actually reflective of views, instead following different roads of logic to see what seems the most likely.

But the big reason why I think robot people being in the games is such a reviled concept by so many people, is that it feels like a lame twist that doesn't really accomplish anything and doesn't really go anywhere. And part of that is the source material it comes from. (Warning: long and emotive analysis incoming)

In the actual Fourth Closet book Charlie being a robot isn't handled well. She's written as a mostly normal human person with internal emotions, struggles, and thoughts only to be completely discarded because she's "not real". As soon as it's revealed, she immediately kills herself and Elizabeth with no narrative buildup, and the only possible resolution is a cliffhanger ending that is never fully explained and left up to speculation. We don't really feel the weight of this on anyone, except possibly John, who never discusses it with anyone and never actually ponders what that might mean beyond feeling bummed the girl he wanted to date is dead and also not human. It also gives Circus Baby a very needlessly convulted backstory for the sole purpose of having her run around in a humanoid form and double down on the henchwoman characterization introduced in FFPS.

It doesn't even really explain much beyond a few strange lines and wonky plot threads, it's a thing that happens and despite Charlie being a protagonist she doesn't really get to react to this.

Sammy is completely dismissed as a concept despite it being such a big deal in TSE and TTO and the whole point of Charlie's arc of acceptance and grief. And we get one line saying he's actually alive... and living with the mother Charlie herself mentions talking to in the past. It's a mess.

The only character who is made more intresting and given more weight by this reveal is Henry. Because it changes perception from "flawed man struggling with mental health but ultimately a very loving to father" to "all the above but also with those flaws much more prevalent and damaging". It's fascinating because what he does is incredibly messed up on so many levels, yet entirely understandable. Henry in the novels is a straight up antagonist, not a villian, and not actively malicious, but someone very poorly coping and causing harm by proxy. And that's reflective of a lot of people who are understandably struggling and need support, but at the same time refuse help and find themselves sinking deeper while their loved ones feel helpless. It's deeply tragic, and leaves Henry being a much more nuanced character, mainly because of the fact Charlie doesn't know quite how to feel about him. When she's still allowed to have thoughts, at least.

The whole point of the Charliebots is that grief and loss can make vulnerable people susceptible to delusion, and how that effects the children around them. Both the Charlie-bot and Circus Baby are shaped around trying to conform to a grieving parent who wants them to fill a role that at a certain point, they simply can't. The moment Charliebot stopped living past the age of three, she simply wasn't reflective of that real little girl anymore. She was someone new, based on the hopes and dreams her family had for her. The Charliebots are so so intricately linked to this theme, that I really feel removing the idea of androids from it is kinda insulting to the whole premise.

William blatantly says he couldn't build robots like that, Circus Baby is build upon a failed experiment her modified for his own use, even the Twisteds were implied to be a joint effort. He also simply didn't see his kids in the same way, I truly don't believe he would drive himself to that same point of delusion for kids he just doesn't love.

I've seen some fanauthors right really compelling narratives around these ideas, but they simply aren't in the actual texts. To approach something purely logistically is to deny to narrative and emotional potential of it.

Yes, it's 100% possible. I don't doubt Scott might try to do it. But that doesn't make it impactful. So if he doesn't want to engage with the premise outright, and doesn't say it outloud, then why should I care either? If he's not going to committ to the idea and explore it, then neither am I.

Glad you generally like my videos! And I understand that perspective, but I disagree. Honestly, I think robot people works great thematically for the modern era.

Ithink part of the interest with Charlie being a robot is that she's a robot, but she IS alive. She's not the original Charlie, but because of Henry's emotions she has her own soul.

With William, his goal iirc wasn't to create a human *looking* robot. His goal was to find a way to create that same spark of life that Henry did, but he wasn't able to. Elizabeth was the closest but she's still an actual human soul inside a robot.

When I suggest that robot people are present in the modern games, I don't think they were made out of love, and I don't think they have that artificial soul that Charlie in the books had, hence the connections to CC and Elizabeth. Heck, we know for a fact that there are robot people present in Tales, so why would that be impossible in the games? The issue wasn't making a human looking robot, it was giving said robots life.

Just because we can't see the end goal at the moment doesn't mean there isn't one. Additionally, assuming Scott isn't going to engage with the premise or saying it out loud is probably something to steer clear of. After all, the main evidence I use for Gregbot isn't the weird vision or him looking like the Crying Child, but the wall code in the Sister Location room that describes Gregory in SB to a T while also saying "I built the breath they hunt drawn to life not real still keen" etc. That seems pretty "out loud" to me given the obscurity of most things in these games tbh.

So I do think Scott has committed to the idea. That's why there are 3 robot people in Tales. That's why there are 2 Vanessas. That's why there's the wall code in SB. To me, it seems as though the themes of Help Wanted and onward are highlighting where the line is drawn between the real and the artificial, the virtual and genuine. And imo, having characters who blur the line between the mechanical world and the real and the spiritual adds pretty well to that whole theme. We just haven't seen everything play out yet since we're only partway through the arc.

I understand if you disagree, but I think writing it off as something to consider would be the wrong move personally. Hope you have a nice day :D

#I am very much a robot person defender lol #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy's security breach #fnaf vanessa #vanessa fnaf #gregbot #gregory fnaf #fnaf gregory #tales from the pizzaplex #william afton #circus baby #elizabeth afton #charlie emily #fnaf crying child #answered asks

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llawlieta · 7 months

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What’s your most unpopular DN opinion? (It can be about canon, fanon the fandom)

This is a hard to answer question for me because I don't know that I have many unpopular opinions, or any at all?! So I'm just going to ramble a little bit at you. I hope this is the quality content you were looking for.

I am FAR from confident that my own characterization of Light and L is right, but I sometimes feel like my view of them is an unpopular one because I see different sides of fandom taking certain traits and pulling in totally different directions - Light is either dramatic with a hair-trigger temperament and ready for Violence OR he is very soft and fluffy. (Or, he is either constantly openly and shamelessly putting women down or actually a #feminist.) Same thing with L. L is very soft and gentle and full of angsty feelings, or (and I think the following is a view that some people have adopted as a rejection to the Uwu L ™ characterization that was king in the early days of the fandom, sjsksjd) he is a confident asshole with almost no consideration towards other people beyond what is useful to him to be able to solve a case.

But then of course I know this is a bit like saying nothing because all fandoms will do this to their blorbos, and all characters are more complex than you'd think from a cursory search through their Tumblr tag. I was discussing this with a beloved friend and she illuminated me by mentioning that fandom... just loves Drama and Heightened Feelings... People consume the source material and want more Feels out of it (especially media like Death Note, I'd imagine, which really doesn't spend more time than necessary dwelling on anyone's feelings) and so they take... Light having a yelling fit and make it a very prominent trait of his personality. Or L having a soft moment and fill him with soft feelings that are coming out all the time. Which is a reasonable instinct to have! even though I think the interesting part of those moments in canon is precisely the fact that they are extraordinary in some way.

So I AM saying nothing and this does happen in every fandom, and contrary to what that cursory search through any fandom tag would tell you, a lot of people certainly treat the characters with subtlety and pay careful attention to all of their dimensions. I mean, evidently, most people do it much better than I could ever hope to do!! (In my defense I have to say that if I stress myself out with writing Light and L properly in-character I will drive myself insane, so not doing it is Self Care for me). But, ah! hopefully this is still some sort of answer, anon!

The L thing bothers me more, because he is my beloved boy and because I think people insist a bit too much on the view of him as confident asshole who doesn't give a fuck. Cleverer people than me have discussed this, particularly in the Lawlight server in which I am, but L does in fact Give Some Fucks. I'm noticing it more now that I'm rereading the manga! A lot of soft little L moments are making me sort of understand why people back in the early fandom days really ran with that Soft Uwu L interpretation haha. It's not remotely accurate to reduce him to those traits! but it's not accurate either to reduce him to the opposite ones?

And I feel like the same phenomenon happens with Lawlight, My Beloved Ship. Sometimes it feels like, if people don't portray them as a very soft and fluffy couple, they can portray them as a couple that would be so toxic and unhealthy that they couldn't have a normal, loving relationship without mind games and manipulation always running through the undercurrent of it. Idk we all know these boys are crazy insane but I don't think they'd be quite THAT toxic!!

Rereading the manga has made me have the realization once again that (I think) L and Light honestly just fit together very well, and don't hate each other with nearly as much venom and intensity as one might think, and there's a lot of common interests and genuine mutual appreciation and fun in their relationship. Particularly in a no notebook AU where there'd be no need for 70% of their mind games of course lol, but it's also there just, like, canonically.

↑ they discuss the news and buy groceries together and read different books silently on the couch actually.

#if you read all this: [anime L voice] I'll give you a strawberry.#choosing a Yotsuba arc mangacap wasn't intentional in the sense that I am saying that #any of what I just said is only appliable to an L who is paired with a Yotsuba Light - not at all!!#I just had this edit of this mangacap in my folder and I wanted to put a picture at the end of these blocks of text kjsksjsks #Death Note #L #Lawlight #ask #anon #lau.txt #would anyone even think of it that way... I don't know. but I love worrying about things no one has ever had a single thought about ever.

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