#like im quiet with ppl i dont know but i used to talk about anything with my friends irl and now i cant bc

[cupuasu]

idk man i dont feel the need to always message my friends and always go out with friends like if it happens it happens i like the spontaneity of it all. i don't think i'm a bad friend for not being up someone's ass all the time. i can spend months not talking to someone but if i see them on the street i'll go up to hug and talk to them bc for me it's never that deep to spend a long period not contacting someone. plus now all friends i made irl are at completely different point in their lives and i'm still at the same place i was in like 2019 so i do feel like i'm not "supposed" to be bothering them (wrong of me to assume im bothering i know but all i do is wait for most of them to do the first move). and nowadays all everyone posts about is you're not a real friend if you dont answer my msgs 1 second later you're not a real friend if you don't go to parties 8 days a week with someone you met in the public bathroom a thousand years ago you're not a real friend if you don't go to therapy and stop bothering your friends about your illness like omg. i'll talk to people i like i'll hang out whenever it works and i'll message you back and i won't mention my depression and i'll act normal in public but i honestly can't wait to go back home and be alone. i love you so much and me not talking to you doesn't mean i like you less or that i don't want to be your friend it just means i want some time out to be on my own lol

#like im quiet with ppl i dont know but i used to talk about anything with my friends irl and now i cant bc #apparently all of them hate people who share their thoughts too much and like ok i can be quiet with you too i dont mind spending time in #silence i actually like that better. #n now theres this 'get away from ppl who are too negative or too oversharing or too trauma dumpy or too weird bc their bad energy is pushing #you back' thing like.....??????????????????????? #sure im defensive bc i Am that guy but i understand that can be annoying #however its just crazy that like for me at least being around my friends feels like im performing the same way it feels when im with a #stranger #bc they just want to surround themselves with this idea that Everything has to be perfect all the time and you cant feel anything #or you'll ruin the vibe #like HELPPPPPPPPPPP. fellow depressed oomf-chan let's do euthanausia together #its not like i want to be depressed all the time its i cant help it being that way and i will try my best to not ruin my friend's day ofc #& also i would never not hang out with my friends that are going thru a bad time bc of 'bad vibes' or 'bc i dnt need that in my life rn' #222

[skrunksthatwunk]

been wringing my hands about the concept of family therapy. scary stuff. like maybe it could help and we sure as hell need SOMETHING to change but i think it would be like taking a potato peeler to the soles of my feet

#look it probably works for a lot of ppl but every time i think about it as a solution for my Definitely Needs It family it's like. god no #it probably only works when everyone's willing to change and actually listen to each other #if i did it with my folks im worries they'd quit if they were challenged or talk shit about the therapist/methods afterwards #like im so worried the therapist would take their side and we'd be stuck giving in to them #only now with assurance from an expert that they're always right and we're wrong and ungrateful. not helpful!! negative progress #and if we tried to switch therapists my parents would be like oh you just can't accept responsibility 🙄🙄 #you just wanted someone to tell you you didn't have to try or to coddle you or make us do what you want or whatever #aghhh it's so scary and it's not even on the table. no one wants this but i also think trying to mediate it myself would suck so fuckin bad #aughh. sorry i wanna write about it as like. a tags rant. here goes #my parents don't apologize for shit. ive legit seen it happen once. they justify and backpedal but they never acknowledge their bs #they treat the harm that comes from their methods with a sort of 'well what do you expect me to do about it?! (rhetorical)' vibe #like there is no way to improve. like the ability for parents to fail and be flawed means those things must be accepted uncritically #because they're trying and they have good intentions. but if they really wanted to help as they claim they would be willing to change #if you're trying to help someone and they tell you your actions didn't help or are hurting them you should change your methods so theyre #helped. but they operate on this assumption that their methods should always work and thud if they don't that we're too sensitive #'youre asking for too much' was kind of a major theme in my childhood is what im realizing #instead they justify and focus on intent or their kids' flaws (real or imagined). they want to change the reaction rather than the action #they dont want to help they just want the problem to go away. and quiet kids look like happy kids i guess #thing is i cant even cite that many manipulative things theyve said bc we all go quiet as soon as they use a disapproving tone #like they'll just be like 'skrunks >:/.' and that's it. i cant say anything. i know i wont be listened to and they fucking do it on purpose #theyre kinda shit at defending themselves but i can barely follow their lines of reasoning so it's so fucking hard to argue with them #it's also so unnurturing. why is us being unhappy or uncomfortable smth to blame on our failure n not smth you want to help with? wth #yk the thing about the Shut Down Tone is i recognize and resent it sometimes but it still makes me feel like im not giving them a fair shot #bc i dont even slightly challenge them much (& they dont have to say what they mean for us to cower) i feel like im misreading their tone #that im being too sensitive and thinking theyre being controlling for no reason. like im reading into it too hard and hating them when if i #pushed back they'd freely be good to me and change and be reasonable. but now it's becoming clearer that that's not the case bc they Do Not #and if i mention The Tone theyll just say im overreacting and that it's my fault for not sticking up for myself AGAIN!!!!!! #and it's so frustrating knowing what's going on and still having these doubts. i can't trust my gut or what i hear bc they might be right #they'll straight up lie or change their arguments or their story to get me to submit. am i being gaslit??? wtf #but i trust my (treated worse) brothers' accounts which helps. my parents brag about their parenting skills to us btw ✌️✌️

[starshapedjello]

Can you PLEASE help try and understand why I find it so hard to tell if my collegue likes me? He's told me he isn't the one to chase a women and that he would wait for someone who meets his standards to go for him. There's this flirtiness between us and have deep conversations, but I just dont wanna make the first move without more signs..He's a Scorpio Sun, Capricorn Venus, Libra Mars. Help me understand some signs if I should go for it. Im personally a Aries sun, Taurus Venus and Scorpio Mars

You know, that’s really tough.

It’s the ol’ Aries in love with the Scorpio.

I’m an Aries and I was once in love with a Scorpio. We slept around a bunch, but he never relationshipped me, which is what I wanted!

In the end, it was very traumatic.

In synastry, Aries make a Quincunx aspect with Scorpio. It’s when 2 planets are 150degrees apart.

Here is a quote from online:

//“Here’s what makes Quincunxs challenging aspects: “Quincunx have nothing in common, like two irreconcilable notions,” says DeFranco. //

I do think Quincunx is a very hot 🥵 aspect, but it seems like the signs can barely understand each other.

Aries is DIRECT energy. Scorpio is INDIRECT energy. What they have in common is that they’re both ruled by MARS. 🔥 (but Scorpio is also ruled by Pluto in modern astrology)

The only advice I can give you is to tell you about the mistakes I made in my situationship with a Scorpio, since I have never successfully dated one:

1. Don’t insult them. Aries can get this way sometimes. We are hot headed and impatient and we want what we want. And sometimes we do it just to flirt or seem funny. Insults roll off us, so why not them? It will not roll off them. They will hold onto it for eternity. That’s the Pluto in them.

2. Don’t sleep with them. Scorpios are s3xy individuals and they know this. But s3x isn’t what they’re after — they’re looking for a deeper connection. They want soul mate energy. S3x is nothing to them compared to MAKING LOVE! They want to bare their all to someone. They want to feel HELD and CHERISHED. They understand the difference of “just s3x” and they think it’s cheap, even though they indulge in it constantly (double standards). They want to be with someone that they can see themselves starting a family with, so they’re not looking for a loose woman. They test people.

3. Above all else: Be their friend first. You can’t force someone to love you, tragically. But you do have the control to be someone’s friend. Scorpios are terribly misunderstood and more than anything they want that friend they can talk to anything about. Be patient. Give them their space. Go on a nature walk with them. (Pretty sure they enjoy quiet areas with nature). Invite them to hang out and do peaceful things together (since they’re a water sign, they are very sensitive to energies and can’t be around too many ppl for too long). They like to pretend they’re tough, but they’re soft. Way more soft than an Aries can even admit to be.

4. Be vulnerable with them. This is a very challenging thing for an Aries to do — being vulnerable. We spend our whole lives pretending we are TOUGH AS NAILS AND NO ONE CAN HURT US. But we are the babies of the zodiac (the first sign) and we aren’t as tough as we like to think we are. If you have known this guy a long time and are dying to tell him how you feel — just do it! But be completely honest. No jokes to lighten the mood. No insults to seem more macho. Just be vulnerable. Put yourself out there, even if he might break and shatter your heart. Do it anyway. This is the only way to a Scorpios heart. They need to know if you’re just as soft as they are. That makes them feel safe.

#astrology #horoscope #zodiac #astrology thoughts #astro #astrology update #astro observations #astro obs #astrology community #north node #astrology advice #astro compatibility ships #compatibility advice #astrological compatibility #Aries #Scorpio #astrology relationships #astrology aspects #astrology forecast #quincunx #inconjunct synastry #synastry #Aries Scorpio compatibility #Pluto #mars #astro thoughts #astrology compatibility #astrology signs #astro notes #astrology observations

[ribbonpinky-art]

feeling melancholic and hopeless again. so im gonna just write out my emotions and none of it correlating. self pity post galore

im thinking about things. life is rough. so stressful. my mental illness is worsening by the day. lots of stuff happens behind the scenes that i choose to not talk about

and what im thinking about now, is that who was once one of my absolute comforts (junko).. im thinking abt that adorable little fumo plush of her i ordered several months ago is just sitting on top of my other plushies.. that i wasn't even excited to have her when she first arrived.

i didn't care.

and that hurt, knowing i didn’t, remembering how much she once meant to me.

same with my Chang’e. i want nothing to do with either of them now. they no longer bring me an ounce of comfort, only dread and remnants of a self indulgent story of kindness that once lifted me up. it all died. feels too idealistic. i feel like im too much of an outcast to let this story exist outside my private circles. i dont even want it anymore, or if i want to ever again

i think as of lately, focusing on oc’s (including ones i havent spoken of yet) has been better for my state of mind

doesnt help that im kiiinda only appreciated for my Junko works!!!! awesome!! i dont want to draw her anymore !!! fml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! other people are better at drawing her than me anyway, ya wont miss me. lemme focus on my evil lady oc instead...

maybe im being melodramatic, and i do not care. perhaps in a few months i will be enamored with them again? idk. idc either

i feel more disconnected than ever to fandom, when i was seldom a part of any of it in the first place. im that person that exists on the outskirts, not really part of their community. im disconnected to people. i cant make connections with anyone, but i never could .. ok . i could, with a couple folks here and there. im grateful they want me around (not counting my partner of course, theyre the best thing thats ever happened to me. im not just lucky, im fortunate af we met at all)

im aware of my own issues- im autistic, im unmedicated when i probably need meds to regulate my emotions, i live in a toxic family. im triggered terribly easily, and when im hurt, it *hurts*.

 i fear that, because of my strange way of speaking and how a lot of my conversations are stilted, and what i perceive as unusual behavior-- i fear i make other people creeped out/uncomfortable. irl or otherwise. like, maybe ppl will be friendly to me at first, but after a year and i dont say much anything and im just this creepy, quiet weirdo to them now. and thats so silly. whats creepy about me?? im a pint size thing who cant even look anyone in the eye very well. is that creepy?? ok, i struggle to talk sometimes, i might be uninterested in conversation but i dont want to be disliked for it-- idk ((ok i have “Creep” by Radiohead set in my mind because of my mental state, and its kinda funny to me for some reason)

i genuinely feel like i lack intelligence. i suck at thinking. i suck at thinking of words, remembering things, and the tiny mistakes i do make are SO small that it should be impossible to make the mistake in the first place. was i always like this? i feel like i used to be smarter , lol

i am quite literally, a complete failure in my family. i cant stress the truth in that enough. even my grandmother is disappointed in me and only wants to see a text message from me saying i got a worthy job in my field. that only thing that matters to anyone, my one and only point of interest in everyone i speak to in my life even outside my family, is that i dont have a real job. thats it. everyone is waiting for me to be.. someone.

because im no one.

but none of them have been a particularly positive influence in my life, seeing as im stuck here.

i genuinely feel disgusting for existing. my body feels wrong to be in when i am visible to any human being. perhaps even to any animal and bug, too. i dont want to be looked at, to be remembered by anyone who wont understand me

nothing is changing!!!!! and when it is, its worse than before!! why cant i just be brave and GO

..

..

..

not all of this reflects reality. i beat myself up a lot. mirrin knows it. i know it.

it hurts

#ribbonvent #tw i talk somewhat ableist towards myself. sorry #all in all... im just venting. take my particuarly heavy words with a grain of salt #i have a lot on my mind. this is only a portion of what stresses me #mirrin is helping me ground.. i love u mirrin

[vbee-miya]

helloo!!! could i get a matchup for bnha?? :0 (this is the first time im requesting something sorry if i say anything wrong msfnsnnd) im 18 (i turned 18 only some days ago lol), i use he/they pronouns (im a trans boy:]) and im gay mdmfms im an isfp and a hufflepuff if that matters!!! im v introverted and shy at first and im not someone who likes to go out because i have trouble with loud noises n too much people, but whenever i go out im the kind of person who talks too much (when im w friends) and is a literal clown, although i still cant talk with people outside my circle so other people have to often speak up for me (esp when i want to buy stuff mssmfmsmdlmao), as for my traits, ig im kind of pessimist when it comes to myself? but super optimistic when it comes to others, im also v anxious, protective towards ppl i like and very, very blunt, because i speak without thinking,,, i also daydream a lot and get distracted even more, i have a lot of energy too but i just dont show it so thats that!! as for hobbies im a writer and an artist! (daydreaming helps a lot for some reason), i like playing videogames and that stuff, and i also love researching things such as bugs (i love them but if you put a bug Infront of me i'd cry) and human behavior:], ii also have a lisp so how i speak in every single Language sounds funny,, im basically what would happen if you combined a nerd, anxiety, a clown and too much coffee (i cant even drink coffee bc of my adhd tho since it makes me very sleepy) hehebw i hope that information is good!! sorry for rambling too much again aa

༺❀༻ matchup ༺❀༻

i don't see why not, here ya go.

hop in on the adventures of tintin. 

he doesn’t mind going out to places that are quiet, or places that have little to no interaction with people. so probably like hanging around his dormitory or if given the chance when the school is on break he’d invite you to his place or if you ever offer, then you guys could hang around at your place. 

mirio to me is the type of guy who can easily warm up to people and usually knows what to say and do. i mean after all, what do you expect from someone in the big three? so even hanging out that random silence of awkwardness would cease to exist. the more you both start getting to know each other and start creating that good rapport he’d be able to talk about anything and everything. and let's say there’s a topic you love talking about that isn’t within his knowledge, then no worries he’d be more than willing to learn and listen about it. 

when you guys are outside, potentially to go out eating and or to buy things, mirio is your man, your buddy. you bet he’d be the one doing all the talking. i mean you can’t really shut him up. anyways when you guys go out to buy stuff he’d actually buy anything you’d want and that’s a fact. he’s generous. 

pessimism is natural, anyone can feel those doubts and it’s so easy seeing things negatively. especially about oneself. but as optimistic as mirio can be he’d understand where you’re coming from and rather than saying haphazardly things like “don’t think like that” “don’t say that'' he'd be more than willing to hear you out and encourage the hell out of you. because no one deserves to be thought about like that especially from us. 

your bluntness in my headcanon is something that catches him off guard sometimes, though he’d appreciate the bluntness. he’s most definitely the type to accept critical criticism or just anything about him. in terms of self-improvement. 

every time you have that burst of energy mirio would think that it’s cute. and sometimes if not most times would be highly fascinated with your daydreams and would actually give great writing ideas to write about as they’re not too complex and can be worked around rather quickly. 

there’s a funny little headcanon i have where he doesn’t mean to put a bug at your face, he just thought the stick bug was really cool and knew to some degree you’d research about them potentially. 

he’d wouldn’t even notice your lisp and would actually say that he doesn’t hear it. but till one day he really notices it and his world opened anew.

#matchup *.·:·.✧ #bnha matchup #mha headcanons #mirio x reader #mirio imagine #mirio headcanons #mirio togata #my hero academia matchup

[cassyapper]

what are your thoughts on kira when he's living with the kawajiris? ig im just curious if that part of his character will be explored in wwm/ta /gen

this is a good q!

by virtue of wwm/ta being almost entirely kakyoin's pov and him and kira not really having a super interpersonal relationship (not to mention the timeframe when everything goes down is. pretty fast), idk if i'll be able to get into it Too much in wwm/ta, but i do have a couple of thoughts on kira's time at the kawajiris

i honestly think his time at the kawajiris could have been like rehab for him. i wanted to say redemption but like...i dont think his victims would forgive him jsut cause he found that ~quiet life~ he was looking for and frankly i dont think kira would ever feel bad about murdering ppl, but i think he would have found like. Something with shinobu and hayato that contented him and made him just stop killing. if he so let it be

i think he did truly care about shinobu in some form or fashion (whether it was a selfless love and whether he even realized it is another thing) and i think a part of him was delighted over how smart hayato was even if he saw him as his enemy (which is funny as hell. why was a 33yo man squaring up against an 11 year old so hard). i think if kira could have let go what his life used to be and settled into this new one, then even though hayato would know he wasn't his dad, he couldve accepted him for how happy he makes shinobu, and jsut like. it wouldve been a fucked up as hell family but a family

at the same time if kira did settle down with the kawajiris it would have been so selfish of him and jsut. ugh. it's complicated! but i do think he couldve become a better person if he let it change him, even if he didn't stay

but clearly he didn't, and i think that's why we get to see him murder that couple. he could have stopped, he could have been happy with what he had now, he could have chosen shinobu and hayato, but he didn't. despite all his talk he always wants more, he needs a thrill more than anything

uh yeah i think it jsut adds a layer to it while also solidifying kira's villainy. i luv the kawajiri arc soooo much

#cass cries #i hope this makes sense #jjba

[heliianth]

out of curiousity; who are your favorite sonic characters? I feel like don't know much about the series relatively speaking and I think I know the answer too but I enjoy reading your thoughts

ok this isnt relevant to my answer but i really love that i come across as respectable and approachable enough to have u curious about my thoughts. says im doing something right i really love it when ppl discuss things with me talking is truly one of my favorite things ever as im sure is obvious (which is kinda ironic cuz im pretty quiet irl </3)

anyway this is a hard question. pretty predictable based on what ends up on this blog tho. id say rouge, sonic, blaze, and shadow and i couldnt narrow it down between them more, though i do suppose sonic's place there is a little complicated...... im not quite sure what to think of him as a character.... u said u liked hearing my thoughts so im gonna chew on something for u a little bit. big paragraph incoming, lol.

i feel like my opinions on him are not ones held by the majority in this fanbase, at least based on who i follow. he is interesting as a thematic center, a steady rock from which the rest of the story builds upon, but not as like... a person...... some of my favorite stories in the series involve other characters learning from him or reacting to principles he is unwavering on, and its reoccuring enough of a pattern that i feel safe in saying its a staple of the series. it is through an outsiders eyes where i feel like sonic is the most interesting, not as a paragon of freedom but as someone who despite his personality flaws already knows who he is and what he stands for and doesnt have much growth to do. in relation, based on how they interact with him, we can understand what other characters think of the world and what they stand for. i do see lots of the "sonic should be static" sentiment especially on yt but i dont quite think it has to do with how to write him correctly so much as his place in the character web. if sonic is off-kilter than everyone else feels so as well, because lots of their arcs are built off of how their perspective on him has changed or forced them to grow. sonic stories based entirely on, say, an origin story or told through his perspective have never captivated me, i find them boring and ive kind of had to accept what i view as fanon characterization (or more charitably, just a variation on a characterization which i dont prefer, since he has been written so differently in canon within the series lifetime. basically anything is "in-character" for sonic based on what years ur talking about...) in order to interact with lots of fandom content, a lot of which is sonic-focused-sonic-pov stuff. i also feel like some of this is why i feel so disconnected from the stories of the games where the player only controls sonic. im not sure what that says about how interesting i find him on his own, and not quite sure whether this qualifies him as a "favorite character" if i think hes most interesting when used as a storytelling device, lmfao

make of that what u will

#heliianswers

[juni-ravenhall]

oh ye mighty one, knowledgeable in the arcane ways of human mind...

can you share your opinion on what is the most annoying trait of INTP/ISTPs (i honest to god have no idea which one fits me better)? perhaps something on how to "overcome" it or make it less annoying, if possible?

thank you! (if you don't feel like answering, that's perfectly okay and understandable)

dude u have no idea how excited i am u ask me mbti shit. aideen bless ur week ;_;

u know ur dominant Ti if u are stuck between those two. do u like motorcycles? do u care about tinkering w mechanical things? do u like physical construction stuff more than reading wikipedia articles? then prob istp. if u prefer to read 200 pages about some biology topic, then prob intp. stereotypes yeah, not 100% certain, but ones based on many irl ppl ive known. intp tend to be more quiet and indoorsy while istp more assertive and outdoorsy. istp use Se-Ni while intp use Ne-Si so also, if ur really into physical stimulation (driving fast, working out, drinking, partying) more likely istp, if youre more into being inside ur brain thinking of nifty concepts and connecting theoretical dots, more likely intp.

as far as most annoying trait goes. both these types can get stuck in the same place unable to progress where they want to go, or just to become a more mature/healthy person even, bc of the Ti (for intp also the Si).

Ti is kinda like a library that u fill out with information (says i as a non-Ti user), u have lots of bookshelves and filing cabinets full of cool shit, but the problem is, sometimes the info you filed might not have been fully correct, or maybe it changed over time. so among all those books and files there might be some stuff thats holding u back or causing u to not see things in a realistic way in the present time, bc an old mindset is stuck. could be things like "you have to do x thing a certain way" (u dont!) or "x thing is difficult and i cant do it" (u can!) or "usually people do x thing x way and being different is not ok" (its ok!) or many other things.

can get stuck in mindsets and habits that aren't helping instead of habits that do help. and habits can be important for Ti and Si ppl, so having repetitive habits might not be bad at all, but make sure they're taking you where u want to be. if not, try new habits even if it might be uncomfortable for a bit - if its too uncomfortable mb its not the right habit for u tho. (esp important for ND ppl who might have even more specific needs regarding habits)

i think the typical toxic trait of ixtp is mansplaining tbh (but like.. genderneutral). that can make others feel like "dont you think i know anything? do you think im stupid?" even tho its often not intended that way. the toxic version of this is mostly bc the Ti library is indeed full of cool shit and ixtp can sometimes, if toxic, forget that other ppl *also* have brains full of cool shit and theirs is not the only cool one or necessarily the one with the most correct info. (but pls dont get anxiety that ur toxic about this bc ur probably not.)

the not-toxic but "annoying to normies" version of this for the intp is more like, infodumping, talking a lot about their interests and new cool things they learnt, and normies might be like "thats so boring i dont care about this" (unfair, get real friends who do care). for istp it might be more like "i know everything about how this machine works and what all the parts are called", which can come across as being cocky or like you think u know more than everyone else who are into the same thing. (being confident is good obvs, so as long as u dont put others down its not bad.)

i think overall the generic advice from me would just be to watch out for getting stuck in repetitive mindsets/habits that don't help you enjoy life, and watch out for thinking your knowledge is wider/better than others (i mean - maybe it *is*, maybe not, but the issue is putting down the knowledge of others more than anything).

if you've been thru a rough time in life, you might on the other hand *lack* confidence in ur Ti library... so then u should fill it up with more cool shit and kick out the bad shit, start fresh to some degree. and just make sure to make friends who appreciate ur library of cool shit and ur skills. don't force urself to put up with ppl who don't support your interests or who dont think ur talents are meaningful.

also summary: marie-kondo out your brain sometimes and check if a mindset / habit / assumption / etc is sparking joy or not.

#u dont understand im very happy to write long mbti posts. very #<3 <3 <3 #long post #nonhorsgaem

[astral--horrorshow]

hi!! can i get a romantic studio ghibli matchup (like, out of all the movies u write for !!) anyway, i’m a 5’0 trans gay enby who uses they/he pronouns. i have long-ish black/red split dye hair, i’m very pale, and i have blue eyes. i’m also kinda chubby and i look very very tired almost always. i mostly dress causal & in pajamas, but when i feel like it, i just dress in an all black emo sorta outift? idk LOL

if this helps i’m an ISFP 4w5, gemini/cancer cusp. i’m a very very quiet and reserved person in public, especially around those my own age. i choose to not talk and i often just nod my head or shrug. i really only respond when need be! however, when you get to know me, i am absolutely chaotic. i love to make people laugh and will do anything to achieve that! i’m very physical and i love picking people up and play fighting with them (i love arm wrestling and thumb war LOL). i have a temper that’s hard to control in private, and i do get a little physical- but i don’t hurt anyone. i just throw around stuffed animals or pillows. in public i am more self-aware and it’s only visible through my movements, tone, and expressions that i’m angry. but i also feel guilty and very sad and i cannot be angry at someone for too long and i end up coming back to apologize (but sometimes i’m petty so if its their fault and what they did really hurt i won’t). enough about that though, abt my friends. i always try to fix their problems and give them advice and i sort out their issues and whatnot for them. im always there to listen and id consider myself a good listener, even tho sometimes i can lose hope and give up. i am mostly pessimistic and think things will go wrong abt get really nervous, but sometimes im very optimistic and cheer people on, esp my friends. i overthink a lot, bad or good things, which usually ends up in me spaced out, and i have a hard time pulling myself back into reality. i get embarrassed very easily. i stand up for what i believe in no matter what and i speak my mind for the most part. i have strong beliefs and opinions, im very skeptical of others at first, and i take a while to warm up to new people. but sometimes my anxiety overwhelms me too much. i also get scared very very easily. i also have BPD if that matters

i love love LOVE bugs, cats, knives, plushies, and rubber ducks. I collect the last three things !! they are my favorites in the world and i love going outside and collecting little bugs and ive always wanted a pet spider. i also adore dark/horror media things, and i love halloween. i love being scared and going into horror rides & ghost tours, theyre my fav ! cats r my fav animal and i want 50 of them when i get older. plushies comfort me a lot so do rubber ducks, so ig thats a bit childish, but thats okay :). i collect knives bc i think theyre cool and i like to show them off like theyre my babies (they are). i also love rollercoasters and theme parks, i luv adrenaline. i constantly have to tell ppl they wont die, even tho sometimes im scared myself. i love weezer, foo fighters, childish gambino, korn, and ghost. music is a very very big part of my personality LOL.

im not a big fan of pda but in private i LOVE PHYSICAL AFFECTION AND WORDS OF AFFIRMATION !! i love kisses and hugs and i will die without them. gift giving is my least fav method of affection, i feel too bad lol. i dont like being ignored and i get a lil jealous sometimes, so i need reassurance a lot. i prefer masculine people and someone who'd be patient w/ me.

thanks!!

Okokok-

Before i finished i know who it was-

Howl from Howls Moving Castle!

I just think you two would get along great! Also, ty so much for paying attention to my less popular fandoms! Its a very nice change of pace. Howl is one of my favorite movies and the book is one of my faves too, so im glad i got to think ab studio ghibli today!

[insanebirddog]

I hate when people are like "others say they depressed as kids but when i was a kid all i cared about was legos"

This isnt directed at anybody, but i am so gen SICK of hearing this bullshit, so heres a rant on what i think. Small little warning it IS cringe.

ALSO TW There is small mentions of things like abuse, neglect, and child harm. If these may be triggering dont read this.

Cool dude, cool. I remember crying on the playground on multiple occasions bc it i was coming to the realization that no one, not even my family actually cared about me. I was thinkin about how i was completely alone, and how i was basically an observer. I came to terms with my 'quiet dude in the corner no one talks to and forgets is there' role in like 2nd or 3rd grade, and i cried in the car because even then i knew everyone i cared about was gonna leave me but yeah bro, rock on, i love legos.

I mean, its almost like kids can have bad lifes? OMG! CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS?! type shit annoys me. Just because someone is young, think any age of minor doesnt mean that they dont have something going on in life and it certainly doesn't mean you should belittle literal CHILDREN for being self aware about how bad their situation is. Thats how you get kids like me, i have such little confidence i cant tell you a SINGLE thing without being like 'but dont quote me haha!' like, i could just point at a cat and be absolutely sure it IS a cat and tell you 'oh hey thats a cat, but dont quote me bc idk' instead of being a dick to children who tell you somethings wrong you should idk, use your fucking ears and listen to em? Like, thats what you have ears for right? I could outright tell people that i was neglected as a kid and they'll be like 'your still just a kid, you dont know what neglect is' like yeah yeah cool, wasnt starved, didnt get medically neglected, totally got all the emotional support i needed and wasnt just ignored or literally beaten for having any type of emotion sure. Ppl act like they know EVERYTHING, invalidate you, mock ya, belittle you and then when you tell them the details they go all "sorry i didnt know" yeah, you didnt. So why were you such a fuckin dick abt it? Why did you all high and mighty go "I KNOW BETTER THEN U!" if you knew nothing?

Like, the fuckin legos statement. Does no one realise people can have VERY different childhoods? and that truama actually EFFECTS PEOPLE? like holy shit! that traumatized boy acts traumatized! why would he do that? its not like IM traumatized so why would he act that way?! like im very happy that you werent treated like garbage as a kid, atleast some parents still treat their kids with respect and not everyone in the world suffered like i did but jesus fucking holy hell get your shit together, you dont have to be a dickface just bc youre not traumatized.

SAME FUCKING THING WITH PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY DONT BELIEVE IN MENTAL HEALTH. Like we have FUCKING EMOTIONS. How do you not believe in LITERAL EMOTIONS??? like you even see it in animals, you beat an animal enough for doing something they wont do it anymore bc you traumatized the fuckin animal, you see literal evidence of it everywhere. People show signs of being traumatized and then these fuckwads r all "UR BEING DRAMAITC!!!!!1!1!11!1!!!1!!!11" and then they'll go and mention how their parents slapped them once and they werent traumatized, like sorry that happened to you dude, but that is not at all anything like being beaten everytime you cry. They make huge problems out to be the tiniest of bumps in the road like they turn a moutain into a pebble all bc "they were being dramatic-" ever heard of people not lying? like, theres people out in the world that dont lie about or exaggerate their trauma, i literally in my 17 yrs of life not met a single person who does that. I bet those people exist, and i feel bad that thats the only way they feel they'll be taken seriously or the only way anyone would care. We focus a LOT on those type of people, and i get why but that doesnt mean EVERYONE who talks abt being truamatized is exactly the same.

Theres a large list of types of people i dont like, and these are just two of them. But, i dont want to keep writing abt this bc as i mentioned before i literally have zero confidence in myself and will stop while im still comfty enough to post this.

Also, can someone help me understand tags m lost [new to tumblr dweebis]

#im mentally ill #i hate it here #trauma

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5462-5466

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering undyingUmbrage [uu]

TG: psst hey calliopes bro

TG: i got

TG: a secret message 4 u

TG: it is

TG: ehehm

TG: CALLIOPE

TG: ....

TG: sooooooooo

TG: did that work

TG: calliope calliope calliope

TG: is 3 times the charm

TG: come onnnnn

TG: wake up sleepy head!

TG: le

TG: SIGN

TG: maybe youre just afk?

TG: i hope ur dumb POS brother doesnt end up reading this instead

TG: man i wish you would wake up

TG: rly wanna talk to a friend about everything that just happened

TG: i mean another friend who is not part and parcel to my 3 bffs ridorkulous nonsense

TG: guess ill just give u the scoop on the haps for whenever you wake up

TG: so yeah we all finally entered our game

TG: i think i was being the worst kind of turd 4 opposing the idea so long

TG: guess i thought i was being noble

TG: like sacrificing something that was important and we all wanted anyways just so i could fuck with the witch and her plans

TG: but i dunno what i was thinking

TG: cause this shit here is p great i have got to say

TG: now we are all of the sudden in this crazy place full of pretty green hills and a black empty sky

TG: i never actually seen anything like plants growin or a country side

TG: its so peaceful and quiet here

TG: i mean the racket my loudmouth pals are makin notwithstanding

TG: we are just chilling at jakes old broken house on a mountain figuring what to do

TG: lol this all happened so fuckin fast!

TG: i cant believe were all together like this suddenly

TG: just

TG: hangin out

TG: in actual person

TG: in our moon jammies

TG: this is better than i ever thought it would be in the silliest and stupidest way

TG: it feels so surreal and amazing just being here with my friends

TG: im still not even sure how this all came together

TG: mostly a lotta machiavellian/heroic XTREME STRIDER BULLSHIT

TG: like i was under attack there

TG: my colony was burning

TG: and i remember dying

TG: and i think jane must have died too?

TG: she was on derse but i have no idea how she got there

TG: i dunno if jake died too or what

TG: all i know is ppl were just dying their asses off left and right

TG: the b line is we were all in some shit

TG: dirk i think must have killed himself and like shipped his own head to jake on makeout mountain

TG: but dirk also kissed me it would seem

TG: while i was too dead to notice UNFORTUNATELY :c

TG: but then i woke up on derse which was gettin worked over by the red shit too

TG: and there jane was

TG: all lyin there bloodily and heart breakingly and probably dead

TG: so

TG: i knew i had to kiss her

TG: but

TG: god i feel so pathetic but i just couldnt do it for some reason?

TG: i wanted to but i guess the blood grossed me out and im a total disgrace of a friend

TG: i dont think ill tell her because its too embarrassing

TG: then dirk wakes up and kicks my squeamish butt out the way and kisses her even in spite of his superhuman gayness because he sucks less as a hero

TG: and then were blasting off suddenly on his fuckin rocket and i dont even KNOW whats happening but its all so awesome and we scoot by somewhere and pick jane up in her yellow dress and now SHES flying with us screamin the whole time hahahaha

TG: and then we get to jakes place and shit everywhere is on fire and hes asleep there so dirk splashes him with a bucket of ocean and tells me and jane to hide??

TG: so we do and jake wakes up and starts arguing with dirks gross head from the fucking future and climbs up on this stone wall for some reason and just starts making out with the head while the volcano explodes???

TG: jane and i are like what the absolute FUCK while dirks just there with his bucket all like 'yup'

TG: then we ollied out of that popsicle stand so now here we are

TG: wow

TG: that story is a goddamn mess

TG: what did i even just say

TG: i dunno

TG: ill try to make better sense of all this later

TG: i just wanted to tell you

TG: and thank you for all you did to bring us together like this

TG: it has meant so v much 2 me

TG: oh guess what i even have a new lightning bug pal!

TG: he is toties cute + friendly + blinky as all getout

TG: i think i will name him

TG: doctor blinkbottom

TG: no thats shit

TG: how about

TG: twinkly herbert

TG: lmfao that is kinda sucky too

TG: but i like it

TG: so i am a keep it

TG: herbert just blinked in total agreement omg what a friend

TG: ok calliope

TG: by which i mean.......

TG: CALLIOPE

TG: eh?

TG: ehhh???

TG: still nothin?

TG: k well i should go then

TG: my party is getting a lit bit rowdy over there

TG: oh my god what are they actually doing

TG: not even ten stinkin mins into our magic bestfriendquest and theyre already jacking up the drama

TG: need to flag down the dramambulance

TG: haul these fuckers away

TG: wow they are really being so absurd

TG: maybe its just cause im not tipsy atm but this shit is like hells of amateur hour to me r now

TG: maybe if i wasnt as sober as a nun gettin slapped by a librarian i wouldnt even notice?

TG: fa reals tho may i just say

TG: dying is a hell of a way to sober up quick

TG: got 2 remember that trick

TG: so hey wake up soon!!

TG: i will try again later

TG: must deal w some shit now

TG: urgh

TG: i think

TG: i could use a drink

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering undyingUmbrage [uu]

#homestuck #roxy lalonde #homestuck act 6 #page 5462 #page 5463 #page 5464 #page 5465 #page 5466 #homestuck act 6 intermission 4

[fr3akinthecorner]

its chinese choo choo chain daddy nostradamus daughter would like to speak with u are u ready and free to have a conversation? hi chinese choo choo train im not one for rules explain this again, its her and her daddy or just her'? both of then ma'am ok well then i dont want to talk i just want to talk to her daddy its emily youre a weirdo just talk to me talking to my daddy is like watching paint dry whats your big interest in him you want to fuck him or something? hahaha no emily i do not want to fuck your daddy only mine and i will fucking kill you if you even look at my daddy emily i guess i just wanted to see what was so special about u? why ppl like u so much? i dont get it what u dont like me? no im obsessed with u but how is this even possible? its dadd nostradamus she can talk to our scientists studying this very subject and be nicer dick eater ok? so u and ur daddy love flirting well my daddy and i love intellectual conversation and it gets to be so difficult that i pull my own hair out im looking for a new daddy emily but dont be like me stay with daddy nostradamus even thoughyour life as a muse is so hard ok? yea? im staying with him dude i have nowhere else to go u know us girls can help u get higher emily just keep talking to us about music about dance about sex about anything and we'll help u get stimulated you were meant to be a writer and your high school story as desarse gets me everytime they were so mean to her but she was about become you? it makes no sense at all and i study the movement do u dance? yes i do i love it im a beatnik i never would have known! my friend chanhee is a beatnik please dont mention chanhee around me please ok? im so sorry its ok darling now that weve got dancing taken care of what about fashion?! you need some new clothes oh so you havent heard in the anime games streets? im a little boy now no my daddy didnt tell me! im so fucking upset emily rose chan not at u but at my daddy and urs ur daddy nostradamus is up to something is he being quiet? did u just get dressed? yes! ok well stay on high alert and i mean get fucking high today ok? just keep asking him theyre up to something i know it and im so scare emily youre dangerous we cant talke anymore its chinese choo choo train emily rose chan is the safest person to talk to in the world and i have her back forever we are now ending this conversation please unbuckle your seat belts and dont fuck your daddy thats bad!

#anime games #daddy nostradamus

[lostacelonnie]

Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

#also ive been playing a lot of rain world lately!!! terribly hard but in a fun way #asks #pen pals

[anoms-world]

the same ppl who pour black salt to the open wound made me love life but when i look around its all way too salty to move as i am finally become white salt so its fine as long stays the same you know what i mean sure needs sugar unless you are the only burned sugar even better/bitter. dies/doesnt by a thoughts and tears

if this dream this spell last any longer i will strart going coco tho its feel nice yea its nice to be addictic till you cant you become impation angry and confused or simple greed like the usual story yet i will start to wonder who am i where i am where i soppuse to be and more importart who they are the hot head who dont like anything about the real you oh lessons and lessons to stay away from the job nuts as much as it possible in way or another the verbal truth (details: about being punished for little stupid things and about i cant take it anymore and how deeply hurt my soul,, funny they still till me to grow up tho they cant comminute like adults treat me poorly like exactly a kid! she said you hurt me when you made us looks bad you will regret that tears* lol yea so obvious then she lose sleep like everyday haha she blame on me for this day XD confidant lie remember) has slipedd like anything else slips if you are not carefull enough or start complaining spountly she start crying i mean come one we all monsers we dont deserve tears to cry at least i wouldnt cry infrront of you like you do not to mention your practical truth that made me shocked for long time to even cry secrtvly the gifter (wolfe) toke his gifts in humilating way the same usual story everywhere its true espicialy for someone emperssed shy to ask more (someone who really thank god) or afraid to ruin chances any further sinse it tend to ruin chances out of eximent by hopes flames well at least not on porpuse they think things will last the same and death doesnt exist but no till you become someone else pet lions made me cry in blood crows made me a freak wolfes into begger buterfly into angry alien who lost all hopes dogs into pet show cats into blame game, beaver into possessed doll, horse into badass doll, fox into slave ,dolphen into spiritual victim , peackock into bug to kill ll pet myself thanks helpesly not to mention no where to go no similar interests to nothing to do.

im always afraid how can you talk to something you are afraid of (cant even pray in peace) if that mean everyone? hope the exit wouldnt be in anger and confuion it would be too messy sinse its easy and naturly to trigger big monsters the crows are nice till they talk to big friends which will tear you apart completly in so many levels send you to the dusty past from nothing from the shock point tell you find one of the hopeful kids from your past to hide, umm no they not nice yet they share the same stress as we do.

how hard can be to say "do you need help?" but nooo too high pride yet rather ask another meaningless stuff ,and peaceful quiet one not in the possession to ask this question! if this magicly happenedd the world will be a better place and less unhuman,, unless they hasitate and answer in rude way end up crying then yea you know why tho you claim to be responsible just ballshit! or mybe you dont mean it at all and obvious in your tune and the way you move said busy you are not nice excuse.

[astranva]

nova i have a friend that literally always copies me😭 so im in a 4 person friend group, and she's always been kinda hostile and fake friendly towards me. she never looked at me when she's telling a story to the 4 of us or even 3 of us. like ever, she just looks at my 2 other friends. and im a 'if you do it to me, i'll do it to you too' kinda person so thats not helping at all. if its the 3/4 of us, she's this crazy loud kinda person. but if its just the 2 of us, she turns into this quiet mom-like kinda person. and she would CUT ME OFF when im talking?! idk which is the real her or which is her front face but its just very unsettling ig.

1. at the beginning of this year i downloaded a dating app bcs frankly im lonely lmao. and mind you all three of my friends all have bf. and this girl also downloaded the same dating app that i used and would always brag ab this guy that, this guy this. it was the first time where i was like 'umm... i dont know how i feel ab this... but i dont like it...'

2. i like to do a mini story time/haul/mental breakdown vlog on my private account right, but i have not done that in so long bcs well pandemic happens. and we all started to be friends around late 2020. so last year, i started to do those videos again but very rarely. this year though a lot happened and so i have more materials for my little private account audience lmao. then she started doing those stuff too w literally the same format. i didnt think of it at first bcs a lot of my friends does it too. until, i did this phone case haul/review thing bcs i just realized that i kept buying them for no reason (hoarding them🫣) and she did the same thing!!! like literally few hours after mine. this keeps happening to this day. idk why it bothers me sm but i does

3. i've always dyed the half bottom of my hair since 2020 and i always kinda update my private account ab it. so few days ago, i re dyed it bcs im going somewhere soon right. the same deal, half bottom of my hair, then post it on my private account. tell me why i opened my instagram and she literally did the same thing... she dyed the half bottom of her hair... w the same vlog style... mind you, she didn't say anything ab my hair yesterday. nothing at all.

and there's so much more. nova am i the toxic one? pls tell me if you think so. i just feel bothered w all this stuff. like she can do whatever she wants but dud like if you hate me tell me you hate me? dont just force yourself to befriend me bcs of the friend group? the copying stuff is just too often to say 'oh its just a coincidence'. my other friends would say stuff like 'dude where did you get that?' 'that looks good' 'i've been wanting that' and i would gladly help them bcs i love when ppl match me (not just clothes ofc) rather than just saying absolutely nothing, then literally copied me...

also can i be 🔪 anon plss. i feel like its appropriate lmao

NAAAHH CUT HER OFFF 😭

it’s sooo infuriating! especially since she’s not exactly the nicest to you wtf no 😭 honestly, when that used to happen to me, i didn’t do anything about it because they were always people who weren’t in the same group as mine but since she’s actually in your group of friends, i’d start being a little sarcastic about it if i were you.

idk but my passive aggressive side would come out tbh 💀 and i’d just be leaving comments about it until she gets the memo about me noticing it or basically telling her that she’s not original and could use a personality.

like all that i’d get if she were nice to you, but copying you and having the audacity to be two faced? naaaah bye.

you’re not toxic, bub! it’s very natural and normal for you to feel annoyed by it because it really is, and again, you feel that way because she’s being rude and mean, too. so don’t beat yourself up for it

(yes, you can! xx)

#🔪anon

[roguestarsailor]

I HATE BEING THIS OLD AND NOT KNOWING THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’vee been mad at my past self actually. watching stranger things* makes me feel this yearning for my childhood/teen years and wishing i’d done things differently. i sometimes regret how i spent it and now im a loser adult who hadn’t experienced ANYTHING and will never know the feeling of just being carefree. i mean i know why i didn’t do those things but god talking to other people, watching media depict these rich lives makes me soo sad; like i really am wasting my youth. the depiction of teenage love, having sex for the first time, going on dates, quiet glances in class, sooo many of those things i WISSSHHHH happened to me. even in college, i never got up the courage to do any of those things. now im moving to a different city and i’m literally not ready. i feel like a fucken child but im a grown ass woman who has never done anything ever. i have none of these experiences and quite frankly im so ashamed that i don’t--its embarassing!!! i dont want some stupid guy to teach me things; i wish i could have just done those things as a teen and not be so green about everything. i wish i was just normal!! i wish these things just came easily. i wish i could just date a man and enjoy it. i wish i didn’t stress about sex every time i talk to a man in a romantic setting. i wish i knew the feeling of wanting to kiss somebody. i wish i was just normal and did those things as a teen or early 20s. now i’m playing catch up and im really just standing there as everyone moves on with their lives. soo many of my friends just did those things and now theyre in long term relationships and is soo natural for them to just lean on their boyfriends and speak in “we”, “us”, “ours”, picking up random facetime and chatting about the mundane things.....and i really really want that my heart hurts!! i wish i could one day be that open with my feelings and have it reciprocated..

and i think thats it. i didn’t put in the hours to learning how to be with someone and now im solidifying being alone*. like im used to my company and year after year im just learning to be ok with just lil ol me, and its just exhausting trying to anticipate things happening and knowing that i pretty much have to support myself in all capacity of life (figure out how to weather politicians that pride themselves in taking away my rights). i have a responsibility for my family too and i have to factor that in as well. but my god, i fucken wish i could just be normal and be like a lot of girls i know (basically my age or belowww!!!!!!!) who can just settle down w their person and know there is some sort of support and have that companion that they can depend on as they grow through the life stages. and most of them seem liek they actively love their persons too (wtf???)

anywho not feeling great this week. lots of emotions and everything feels like a trigger to me. i feel like an absolute CHILDDD.

:\

-

*yes i should know my triggers and what to avoid. yes i shouldn’t compare my life to others because mine circumstances are different..but my god i feel like such a stupid slow loser

*everyone at work keeps saying “how young i am” now that im going to SF but these people are also like i met my husbands at 25. yyeah okkk. doesnt help when so many people you know are just settled and live with their partners. honestly, meeting ppl might not be good for me anymore. and by meeting people i mean most of the girlies i’ve met through SAT and we recently had a happy hour w a bunch of them and theyre all just in relationships and thats all they talk about. is just how they can quit their jobs and have their partner supporrt them or how much more money they make than them and tho they are grateful they have that safety net or just having ur default travel buddy, doing shit together, and again “us”/”we”/etcetc. oh god maybe i gotta stop hanging out with these people..,until i sort out my fucked up brain.............i gotta get a therapist holy shit

#amandathoughts