#like is it just being blind to reality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kisskisskisskisskiss · 1 year

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Also realizing that some of yall genuinely and fully buy into captialism is scary lol

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itspileofgoodthings · 2 years

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Good morning what are the movies or tv shows that traumatized you as a kid mine are the BBC production of A Christmas Carol and a handful of David Suchet Poirot episodes

#my dad always thought if something was well done it was appropriate for children #so we never watched the silly little kid version of things. The muppet Christmas Carol? My dad would N E V E R #anyway a Christmas Carol ruined Christmas for me for YEARS #i hated to think about it #and poirot was just. traumatizing #there’s one called murder on the links which involved a golf course at night which is one of the most terrifying locations I can imagine #also there’s one called death in the clouds #and poirot uncovers the murder because there are two spoons on the dead lady’s tray of airplane food #and the way he says ‘he picks up a spoon giving him the task of a waiter to carry out’#when explaining the murder at the end to this DAY sends chills up my spine #I know this is very obvious but the thing about fear is that it isn’t about logic or reason but it is about revelation #it’s like the flip side of moments of good and happy insight #at least for me #what terrifies me is a moment where some kind of evil is revealed in a blinding FLASH #a motive or (I guess) a ghost #and there is this presence of some malevolent entity underneath the reality of things #and something about it being SEEN almost more than it existing #is so scary. Like I.#Poirot uncovering the murder and describing it with such studied fascinated careful attention #pulling back the layers of a blind of one kind or another #shakes me to. my. CORE.#and it’s all so visual and instinctive. it’s one tiny little moment that doesn’t fit suddenly pulling back the curtain of reality #with such terrifying abruptness #makes me want to sit down and cry like a baby #the knowledge of evil doesn’t scare me. as in it doesn’t elicit an emotional/physical reaction of fear #but seeing it in embodied action. again. where it’s some tiny ordinary little detail suddenly ripping reality as you know it to shreds #the surprise of it. the recalibration it demands #I !!!!!!!!! Get so afraid

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liliallowed · 7 months

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guys?

listen.

I like my fictional characters BECAUSE they're not real.

do you really think I'd date a serial killer man who murdered his own family and is psychotic!?

no!

I don't even like MEN!

I love them the same way Cthulhu/god/fate/whatever the fuck made this world in it's dreamscape, loves me as a mortal.

them being fake and not in the same layer of your reality IS PART OF THE APPEAL. they'd be so curious to reach out, you'd answer knowingly attempting to fill the hollowness of your lonely heart with a lesser existence.

I firmly believe fiction IS something else's reality. and even WE aren't as real as we think.

so like... call me a crazy but I LIKE being committed to the machinations of my own imagination.

you say they aren't real. yep.

but neither are we.

the entire worlds is only what your brain perceives as "real".

why not indulge in a lil bit of insanity then? y'all normies are missing out~

#don't mind me #im just being a dust #I'm not going back to the mental hospital i escaped from!!!!#no but like #for real #reality is only what YOU make of it #so it's subjective #and unique for everyone #who are YOU to call me color blind when you yourself can only see shades of blue?#lili rambles #this got deep lol

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memorys-skyscraper · 3 days

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the scene in yakuza 5 where shinada and milky dance on the roof talking about how they should run away and start over in a new town with new jobs and new lives, only for milky to abruptly stop and let shinada go when she gets called back downstairs to work, while shinada is sent stumbling by suddenly being let go until he too comes to a stop, burns a hole in my brain

#rambles #yakuza #yakuza liveblogging #like man. MAN. that shit hits home #milky saying 'i wanna be a teacher this time- that was my dream as a kid!'#and shinada replying 'you can! nothings stopping you! you can start over!' with a tone that borders on hysterical #he's so desperate to believe it's possible because in that moment he can see it- he sees his way out #for a moment he's blind to all the things that have kept him from doing exactly what he's proposing every other time he's considered it #hes trapped in a glass house- he can see freedom but knows he cant reach it. but for a moment he lets himself forget the glass is there #but milky doesnt. she thinks hes being cute and plays along but as soon as she lets him go the music cuts and the moment is gone.#reality comes crashing back down- they're not going anywhere.#and i mean. idk if this is a common/universal experience but ive had many a late night where ive done exactly the same thing #fantasized about quitting my job/going back to school/finding some means of self employment/moving somewhere totally new #and ive had those fleeting moments where i could see it- i could see how i could make it work #or i could see that there's nothing *physically* stopping me from doing any of those things #and if i could just sum up enough courage i could do anything i wanted with my life #but then i wake up the next day and that vision is gone.#i cant see outside the glass house anymore- i can only see the reflection of the inside.#tl;dr i should revisit y5- the writers were cooking and i didnt take enough time to savor it #(esp not the shinada section bc i hated his combat style lol)

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chenpire · 1 month

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my post series recommendation is that if you've never listened to the orchestral version of hero by faouzia while thinking about Wilhelm and Simon's utter trainwreck of a romance, you should. I think you should.

#shows #young royals #I have loved this show truly #and it can never not be political for me given where I grew up and my own convictions but I don't think the crew copped out of the politics #maybe it's a gentler version of the story than reality would allow but it's a wonderful example of #thoughtful naturalistic visual storytelling that is largely uninterested #in overexplaining or justifying it's narrative #while still remaining loyal to it's thematic baseline #I'd love to actually get around to some of that meta I vauged about post s2 on class and setting and possibly I will in May #when I have room for thoughts #because I do still want to make my points about how the personalisation of politics usually makes people blind to the systemic issue at han #which I think the show balanced pretty nicely #if you grew up or are growing up in a constitutional monarchy and you're not really engaged with your local republican movement #maybe now would be a good time to start thinking about it #a lot of people think 'well it's an archaic system so it should go' and leave it at that but the issues run so much deeper #than who the head of state is and this stuff is really worth considering if this is the political system the currently defines your future #anyway I'll put my praxis down for the time being #and just take a moment to appriciate this fantastic variation on the age old theme #isn't love really just a form of madness #like doesn't first love just kind of make you utterly lose your mind in a way that could conceivably bring empires to their knees #in all of it's single minded innocence and utter irrationality #cause yeah....yeah I remember that

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beeapocalypse · 2 months

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very rough idea for the pantheon of nonsense dungeon is that the existence dragons final wish+thought was to LINGER in a way that would never go away. as many lies thule may tell and as much as they may try to mold reality in their own image they are still working with its own clay. itd lead to a thule that is a lot more haunted + high strung bc every single second they are painfully aware of their parents being imbued in every single bit of reality and of its corpse just Hanging there u know

#nonsense dungeon info #the idea of lingering for the existence dragon is almost entirely to justify far more present+put together ghosts in--#--the setting lol they dont really have that definition of 'self' just as the existence dragons works change over time but theyre still--#--very much There if that makes sense #taking the honey sweet idea of them putting horse blinders on their helmet to stop seeing the corpse everywhere they looked and stretching-#--it to the extreme where theyve completely entombed themself in their armor maybe. no sight no smell no hearing no taste no touch just--#--a massive metal juggernaut lurking blind in their own respite. completely cut off from reality theyll just make decrees and shit without-#--any Context beyond keeping up appearanceswithout even being able to enjoy any of the worship of being the supposed wellspring #also like the idea that this sort of set up (pre encasing) would lead to them treating fluisau as WAY more of a personal confidant like--#--straigh tup telling them about the existence dragon+their deceit and then eventually freaking out over the realization of just how much--#--power over them fluisaus got now so they banish them 2 the moon or smth. no stomach for killing but they CANNOT allow the truth to come--#--out because of how just getting to that point has hurt them. it wouldnt mean anything if they were exposed

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nonokoko13 · 6 months

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<<DNI if you shame people for having "cringe" interests>> *proceeds to shame or disrespect someone for having interest in fictional stuff they don't like instead of using the block button even though that person has done anything to anyone*

#vent??? I guess??? idk #some people is mind-blowing to me. not in the good sense #idc much about fandom discourse or whatever but the level of blindness or hypocrisy some reach is??#like you see them telling everyone they are supportive and reality ≠ fiction but then make gymnastic levels of stretching to explain why--#--what they like is good 👍 and everything they dislike or they're neutral of shouldn't exist and who enjoy it should kill themselves #and it doesn't even need to be something gross like this time I have seen it is because others like Kuromi more than My Melody dude wtf? 😭#guys is it homophobic to be cishet? Because apparently according to some who support everyone of the collective being cishet is enough to--#get blocked. If it was reversed they would get called out for their weird behaviour but ig I'm the weird one #like. One thing is blocking or putting boundaries because that's what social media is for. Curating your space is normal and it should--#always be #but another thing is opinating [insert sexuality/gender] is 'on thin ice' for just...being on the internet???#Idk what I was expecting from Twitter tbh. Although I see people like that in every social media #so sad and tiring #just say you don't want others to have different takes in whatever fandom you are and go. You don't need to give explanations or aact-#--like you are always objective and therefore correct #Anyway in this house we stan Kuromi and cishet people as long as they don't discriminate anyone for their gender identity or sexuality 👍#If you have read this far I'm sorry. Seems long. Have a nice day 🫶#and if you are wondering no that person didn't do anything to me they were talking about Kuromi/straights in general #but I felt the need to share #tw vent #edit: Seems like they did reach somebody over their interest in fandom stuff. Not surprises there #God forbid people to make their internet experience about their hobbies and interests #instead of curating THEIR OWN BLOG and thinking of what others want them to like instead #just a warning for those who like my shit. Unfortunately for you I like fictional characters being evil or morally grey as much as #fictional characters being good people #sorry guys block me if you want Imma keep using critical thinking 🤷‍♂️#OH AND WHAT UPSETS ME THE MOST: When somebody breaks their own dni to go to somebody to tell them they suck or whatever #like????? Why would you do that if you despise x trope or thing sm???? So you want everyone to respect your boundaries except yourself????#you just waste your own time and those you interact with by trying to create a raging conversation for all parts #fandom discourse

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everywhere-all-around-the-world · 5 months

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longish post where i ramble about my thoughts on the relationship between Scars (2021) and COMFLEX (2023) by Stray Kids

Scars by Stray Kids, 2021

COMFLEX by Stray Kids, 2023

While Scars is more about embracing the bad times to work towards a brighter future and Comflex is more about embracing one’s weaknesses and fears and accepting them, kind of turning them into strengths, I do like to think about the concept of Comflex being a kind of sequel to Scars.

Scars is a song set in bad times where things seem hopeless, and you feel bad about yourself, you feel like things can’t get better. So Scars talks about keeping hope for a better future, despite one’s scars in the journey that you’re taking. Despite all the hurt you’re experiencing, all the emotional wounds, you persevere for better times ahead.

Comflex is like, the epitome of confidence in song form. You accept your imperfections as parts of yourself and you accept the scars of your past. It feels like the future of Scars to me, like you’ve found your success and confidence. This is the brighter future you worked towards in Scars. And now you’re more confident to show the “scars” of your past, the emotional pain, the perceived weakness, because that’s part of you. Your scars, your pain, your weaknesses are all a part of you and thats fine, and that can even be your strength.

I feel like both songs kind of speak on showing and being at peace with your pain and weakness, and showing that to the world without letting it be something that drags you down, but rather lifts you up. Scars feels like the beginning of that—hopeful, persevering. Comflex feels like the future—confident, comfortable. Both songs display weaknesses being your strength. Strength to persevere, strength to show the world what you’re made of. Your weaknesses ARE your strength.

did i mention how much i love stray kids lyrics and song writing !!!!!

#the reality is i listened to comflex #heard “embracing all my scars and imperfections”#and went feral #did you say SCARS one of my favorite stray kids song ever 🤨🤨🤨#did you say EMBRACING ALL MY SCARS 🤨#kind of sounds like MY SCARS I WILL SHOW IT ALL 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨#and then just the general messaging of self live in comflex? the confidence? the idea of weakness becoming strength?#and then in scars with the weakness and pain being drive for a better future??? where weakness can be your strength to push through?????#WEAKNESS #BEING #STRENGTH #BCSJKWKSMSNFKEKALAL #stray kids #skz #skz scars #skz comflex #lyric analysis #skz analysis #im sorry im very into the new album #DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PARALLELS BETWEEN SOCIAL PATH AND BLIND SPOT #ANOTHER ONE WHERE I WILL SCREAM ABOUT IT BEING VERY SEQUEL-LIKE

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anotherpapercut · 1 year

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I love looking through the Christian books that are trying to be woke because they're ridiculously un-self-aware. this one just called Christian practices "counter cultural". girl you live in a majority christian country. Christianity IS the culture

#its called jesus v evangelicals and is trying to like argue against modern evangelism via the bible #but its just like painfully blind to reality lmao #its basically like stop being vocal about your marginalization of other people its making us look bad :(#it says evangelicals are marginalized now and people 'have a negative perception of them'#well yeah lmao #kinda yalls fault ://#its written by someone who seems to identify as an evangelical she just doesnt want them to be viewed negatively anymore #it literally says in the summary that the goal is to 'restore public respect of christianity' LMFAO #he*

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eorzeashan · 11 months

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I keep thinking of how Watcher 2 goes uh, Cipher, there were no ghosts in the Dark Temple, which genuinely baffled both me and Eight, because she's completely sincere about it. Like you don't believe in ghosts but you believe in guys who shoot lightning and lift things with their minds...? What do you think made those people go insane then, a gas leak?

It's actually pretty typical within SWTOR for Imperials not to question superstitious matters or anything related to the Force either out of purposeful lack of knowledge, unwillingness to believe in it given how technologically advanced the Empire is and so they defer to science, or plain fear of the unknown and everything associated with the Force, but it's always a bit of an interesting shock seeing where particular officers lines lie about it. In Watcher 2's case, spirits do not exist. Regardless of the walking specter who made your personnel be in pain for no reason a few hours prior, cough.

Eight's the rare example of an Imperial who is immediately ready to accept and understand these outlying forces so he definitely believed there were spirits and other things at work, but more than that, I headcanon that Jadus sent him into the Dark Temple alone not just as a test of skill, but to test if their Force bond had manifested and would protect him from its malicious influences. In which case, it absolutely did and the agent emerges unscathed from the Temple of babbling soldiers. This also minorly awakens Eight's potential to see the world through Jadus' eyes, and so he has proof of the mysticism that other Imps refuse to accept-- another point that most likely makes investigative branches like the IRS looked down upon.

In other words, though he can't affect such things and is more Force-blind than Theron, Eight has become a medium of sorts because of his powerful connection to Jadus that leaves a mark on his being and has the willingness to quite literally open his mind to these forces. This makes him more attuned to odd situations that involve the Dark Side while retaining a self that is utterly mundane, so he acts as a sort of middle-man between the world of Sith and Imperials: the perfect union of the force and force-blind.

In the basic class story, it hasn't manifested fully but by the time of KOTFE/ET, it takes a dramatic spike in power because of Valkorion's influence and the extreme growth he and Jadus forced on each other in order to win that final battle. This is explained in-game as Valkorion leaving the ability to use the Force or amplifying it after the expacs, but Eight will never have the ability to use it, and I have no intention of ridding him of being normal despite all the ways he isn't. However, Eight and Jadus pull out all the stops to defeat the former Emperor and this nearly kills the former-- he collapses immediately after the two Sith have a psychic battle in his head and his vitals flatline, to which Lana and Theron panic. Then, Jadus himself finally appears in the flesh and whisks his Hand away. The two Alliance directors are unable to stop him, weak as they are by the battle, and no sign is found of either Eight or Jadus when the dust clears.

Eight is found weeks later in a hidden facility with no recollection of what happened prior, though he's purposefully vague about his "savior", and what happened between them. When Lana touches him, she feels a shock-- and realizes it's Eight, who she feels all the more keenly through the Force. He realizes this too, and those eyes that bore into her now look past her vestige into the depths of her soul. It feels like someone else is there. She cuts off the temporary connection immediately, the sense of wrongness remaining.

Eight still isn't force-sensitive. Nothing registers even when they test him.

And yet, no one can explain how he sees things he shouldn't, and how it's even possible for him to connect with others in this way. They leave it as another mystery surrounding the agent with no name.

#swtor #ooc #jadorre #idk what this is i had a lot of story beat thoughts i needed to write down somewhere #but more than that ive been ruminating on writing the final Valk fight forever and what it means for Eight and Jadus #and exactly how it changes Eight #as well as trying to figure out just what their bond does to him #i like to call the potential for a force blind user to become opened to the force as 'force latency'#bc regardless of whether they can use it it DOES flow through every living thing. there's ways to acclimate yourself to it #i also don't believe you need to have the force to have the mental ability to resist or understand it #all minds are incredibly powerful complicated things and the realm of the mind only partially shares itself with the force #the force i think just makes it more liable to express itself in reality #babbling aside I really like the word medium for eight as the receptacle to help jadus feel ordinary things he no longer can as a result of #being too powerful #while learning himself how to take this mass of sheer will into his own body without being broken in turn #AND i have an entire subplot about Jadus fucking around with eight's force latency using some. unpleasant things #kick me to do it

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t4tdykes · 2 years

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z.ionism in the tags, tbd

#at this point #you have to wonder just how sacred this land really is to you if you're willing to do this much crime directly against g-d on and over it #i am studying quite a lot right now & reading a LOT about the zionist perspective bc it's an integral part of the books we are given tbh #and so much of the phrasing is about this yearning for what sounds like a completely understandable thing but the thing about it is #it's ancient and it's an ideal and the world has changed *so much* since that yearning took root #when it says we are meant to yearn for a return to isr.ael it makes so much more sense to conceptualize that as The People(hood)#it is *understandable* after everything that the people have been put through over history to want a safe returning point! yeah!#How Ever!!!!!!!!#in what FUCKING WORLD does it make sense to create an environment like this out of that place? to exemplify hypocrisy?#in class we literally study and talk so much about all sorts of historical events that are so similar #and about how amazing it rly is that the torah never actually shies away from the wrong that the ancient ppl have done #because it takes accountability in ways no other holy book does and it says ''we cannot ever do this again. we must never do this again.''#how the fuck are so many people blind to the fact that this is the exact same thing as a Lot of the shit we already understand as wrong #i am just. beside myself constantly at the double standard it puts a sadness in my *bones* it makes me feel ill #the way the perspective is presented is absolutely like... you can see Why a lot of people attach to (and fall for) it.#it's presented in an appealing and touching and personal and *necessary* way. that is how it's phrased.#but it cannot possibly overshadow the reality of what's being done on that soil right now and what is happening to another People.#sorry but i cannot believe this is what my g-d wants.#a.txt #zionism tw #world #antizionism is not antisemitism! js!!!!

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riverswater · 2 years

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I know I'm always saying the same things but how can people not get angry at Harry too. He's the one who agreed to being interviewed by Stern. For the second time! I keep reading posts of people being angry/disgusted about the question he was asked and how he was treated as if Harry wasn't the one agreeing to all of that. "how could Stern asked him this/made this comment" Stern did FAR worse. Throughout his entire career. And Harry knew. And went twice to his radio station. How can he still get babwiewd🥺🥺🥺 is incomprehensible to me.

#I know it's because people can't see a single fault in him and they have this god complex about their face celebrities #And obviously bad man asking bad things to good man!!!!!!! It's as easy as that!!!!!!!#Like ok. Being that blind seems so relaxing god the world is just black and white and nothing else like good for you #I envy you your reality is that simple? Wow #Hs #for tagging purposes #m

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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year

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me like “oh Steve harrington is actually cute.” that’s the grist I’m talking about. And it doesn’t happen until it happens.

#the thing is. I can’t explain the LAYERS of blindness I can have going on #where I can literally see him on the screen and be like ‘he’s NOT cute he doesn’t even have BROWN EYES’#no literally I didn’t know he had brown eyes I COULD NOT SEE HIS EYE COLOR BECAUSE I WOULD NOT #so I was like hmmmm. this blue-eyed untrustworthy snake is being untrustworthy #and that was literally NOT WHAT WAS HAPPENING #and I guess I’m saying (once again) that many things are like the Steve journey for me #I see things that are right in front of me wrong #until I don’t #until someone the right person comes along and is like. no you’re hurting yourself over there for no reason let me show you what it is #and then I can do it #and it’s just once again a metaphor for life maybe #I’m trapped in the emotional freezer about many things #and I can’t save myself from it #lol #there’s a fairy tale idea in here #anyway I keep downplaying it by saying lol #but LOL #I do mean it. I do think it’s true #(and then I’m just disgusted with myself for having such a broken and needlessly difficult internal life that blinds me to REALITY)!#(but that’s not helpful so I have to shut that off)!#anyway like. everything is disgusting and difficult internally and I just [ screams ]#okay I’m done #ALSO IDK IF I’M USING THE WORD GRIST RIGHT #BUT IT *FEELS* RIGHT

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krownest · 4 months

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probably because i've been in canada so long + around peers that talk about going to therapy and such normally that i'm so thrown by how backwards the attitude towards mental health is here in hk.

like yes companies and the gvt have definitely been talking more about mental health since covid19 pandemic but i was at a family dinner recently and the topic of discussion was this other family whose son was going through a breakdown esp wrt his relationship to his mother.

and all the aunts and uncles were like "taking psychiatric medicine is the last resort because once you're on it, you're stuck on it forever" and "oh he doesn't need meds, he just needs therapy, meds are for the real crazies" etc along that line

meanwhile i'm just staring into the camera at this point

#anyway. for all that is said abt western society on this website #i will say i'm glad to be in canada even if it's just for access to therapy and the relative lack of stigma attached to it #i think sometimes i am just very blinded to the realities of hk...similar to lgbtq stuff like #i am resigned to being in closet forever (to my fam) but at least there is the option to be open about it in canada #as opposed to being out in hk which is simply. a nightmare for me as my family are progressive but Not That Progressive #also last line of this post. that is bc i am on meds and have been for a year #clown emoji honk #krow.misc #<- block this tag if u don't want to hear abt my (unfortunately currrently depressingly negative) personal life sorry gang #i think it's bc for 4 years of uni i've been surrounded by queer people and it's just so accepted and everyone is so loving

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konigsblog · 9 months

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frustrated mornings with simon riley

simon will refuse to let you go in the morning. large, burly arms wrapped around your form, holding you close to his figure while he snored. even through sleep, his grip was iron; impossible to break free from, despite how he let his guard down.

you wanted to get up, the birds chirping was your awakening, the sun rising up and peaking through the blinds nearly blinding you, straight into your eyes, hiding in his chest. simon's aroma is specific; tobacco sticking to his clothes, a slight scent of musk and cedarwood from his cologne, comforting.

a small sound of frustration brought you back to reality, his eyes slightly open as he tiredly gazed at you; eyes full of adoration. simon only gripped you tighter, small giggles as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, huffing at your hair - the shampoo essence lingering. his touch was smoothed, playing with his hair gently as he fell back into a slumber.

the man now atop of you, impossible to push the weight off. he's too heavy - from muscle mass. you whimper, pushing him off before he grabbed your wrist. “no..- five more minutes, love..” he grumbled, and you knew it wouldn't just be ‘five minutes’, instead another hour or two, maybe three, maybe you should just spend the day together in bed, why not?

is there any place like home? home is being under his grasp, his body caging around you, protecting you from his nightmares that kept him awake at night, staring down at your and brushing the hair from your face as he checked your pulse for what felt like the a millionth time to simon. he couldn't control how his chest rised and dropped rapidly, cuddling into you, finding comfort in the fingertips running down his back, massaging the muscles from his aches and begging you to stay longer.

no place you'd rather be than with simon, protecting eachother from the wild nightmares and fears that took over one's mind, leaving eachother with swollen lips as you'd told eachother how much you truly need and love one another through words and tender kisses. kissing him 'til he passed out atop of you, the weight of the world atop of you - simon.

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screampied · 2 months

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gojo had a dream you died.

it was partially the reason why he woke up in a cold sweat… it was horrid.

he could still hear your screams, the life leaving your eyes, but more importantly, he remembered your final words that were murmured to him. “satoru, don’t… cry, i’ll be okay, it’ll be okay.” and he believed you, that everything would be okay. despite tears filling his eyes, labeled the strongest at that moment, he couldn’t have ever felt so weak.

the dream felt so real, that was the scary part. he remembered each and every detail. from the feeling of you giving his wrist a light squeeze, the sweet smell of your natural scent.. the eerie sounds of your irregular wheezes as you were clinging on your final moments.

“don’t leave me,” he mutters, he remembers saying that. three simple words, yet his dilated pupils spoke a thousand. he started to repeat it. again and again as if it was a mantra. his words, his tone broke the more he spoke to you. that cute smile of yours never left his lips, it remained there. regardless of your inevitable incoming fate, he sobs, “you’re…you’re all i have left. i don’t wanna be left alone again, just stay. please, baby.”

“i’m not going anywhere, ‘toru,” you’d reassure him, a single tear drop of his falls onto your cheek.

after that moment, gojo wakes up. trembling, yet the dream wasn’t that feared him the most. it was him waking up with you not next to him..

cold, everything felt cold.

he shot up immediately from his dream. the cold sweat that forever continued to race down his back as he panted.

he was so used to your warmth taking up part of the bed. albeit, in this case though. it felt empty. isolated.

it was near the middle of the night, gojo was drowsy, rubbing his eyes to blind his vision with imaginary stars. feeling for the bed, it was frigid.

“baby?” he’d grumble, white lashes partially open. silence called back to him, and if it was anything about gojo, he hated being alone.

oh, he loathed it, yet whenever you came into his life. he didn’t have to worry about that. you were always besides him, no matter what.

until now.

it takes him a split second before it dawns on him. your fatal death, it wasn’t another one of his silly surreal dreams. it was nothing but mere reality.

a breath gets caught in his throat once he realizes, being brought back into harsh realness. you were gone.

it’s been years, speaking of which…

it was your anniversary with him. the same exact day he proposed to you. he remembers it vividly, getting down on one knee with the goofiest grin. he didn’t even say, “will you marry me..?” instead, he snorts a sheepish, “let’s get married, heh.”

“i always forget around this time,” gojo sighs to himself with a soft tone, his voice was a bit raspy from abruptly waking up. intaking a sharp inhale, he goes towards your side of the bed and he reaches into his pocket.

“it should have been me,” and he doesn’t even care he’s talking to himself, it’s like for whatever reason, your presence was near him. “our marriage,”

and then with a brief sniffle, he glances down at the ring you once wore proudly. he strokes it with a thumb before huffing out a shaky, “our marriage, it was supposed to last us for infinity…”

but it didn’t.

with hot tears streaming down his face and a power he wished he never have because in the end, it didn’t save you. he couldn’t save you.

and now…

the strongest, the most brave to ever live and walk could easily be mistaken as the weakest.

#★vegasbaby.#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo angst #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk fic #jjk drabbles

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