#like it just feels so obtuse to me. why are you acting like this isn't a piece of art that can be analyzed

[baltears]

why is the idea of close reading a tv show so insane to people. how is it different from close reading a film or a book or a poem. it's a text like any other text and is open to being read as a text

#luna and i are complaining about this but i had to complain some more #like it just feels so obtuse to me. why are you acting like this isn't a piece of art that can be analyzed #why are you operating under the assumption that the decisions that created what youre seeing on ur screen were somehow random or arbitrary #or were made without thought being put into them #not every goddamn tv show is bbc sherlock or lost #honestly i think failing to see where a project was made thoughtfully and intentionally is a failure to meet a text where it is #just as much as snobbishly discounting the value of less sophisticated/more 'lowbrow' art is a failure to meet the text where it is #i just sometimes get in my feelings about everybody wanting to be a critic without recognizing that being a good critic is a skill. like #it takes work. it takes thought. it takes practice. it takes attention. it takes a level of charity and graciousness #but most people just shit out any unconsidered opinion and call it a day without even thinking anything of it #like. art always deserves to have its due ykwim and so often things just don't get their due bc no one cares enough to pay attention #occasionally they'll get unearthed and critically reevaluated and seen for what they are. but sometimes that never happens. and that sucks

[thetransguard]

okay i knew it was coming but its kind of killing me how obtuse people are being towards toshiro (im not fucking calling him shuro and honestly yall should stop with that too). should he have told laios how he really felt about him, sure, yeah, but im going to go off on a limb here and suggest maybe! maybe! he's been raised in an environment where it's actually like legitimately unheard of and taboo to be very open and straight forward about his feelings. the entire party has been calling him by a name that literally isnt even his own because he is so used to quashing down his own reactions to others. like i think other poc diaspora dunmeshi fans might agree with me here but he just reads like someone whos not bothered enough to correct every microaggression thrown his way. because that shit is exhausting. and after like five hours of laios bugging him about stories of his homeland why would he have a good opinion of him. genuinely. im not saying laios is entirely at fault but neither is toshiro. i love laios too but it is Very Weird that toshiro gets the brunt of their friendship's falling out (ill circle back to this)

also to preface this i am a farcille shipper so im. not pushing for falin/toshiro. but people acting like his affection for falin is somehow not relevant or he has no devotion to falin at all is CRAZY. immediately after being teleported out he threw himself back into that dungeon and didnt eat or sleep properly to rescue her. we literally watch him collapse from it. after multiple episodes emphasizing the importance of nutrition and caring for yourself and your take away from a man willing to toss that away is that he just. doesn't care for falin? why is he in the dungeon then? answer. quickly. granted he's not as onboard with the whole black magic thing but his concerns are literally valid and before we see falin chimera he seems to have been talked down from reporting them all for it. its the proof of his concerns of the use of black magic that he decides to go up and report them at all. his bond with falin isn't nearly as strong as marcille's bond but its also not nothing. ignoring that or minimising his own sacrifices is such a nasty bad faith disservice to his character.

speaking of bonds. toshiro doesn't hate laios. guys. his last act this episode was to give laios and the rest of the party (yes, even black magic user marcille) a way out of the hole that they'd already dug for themselves. fleeing to the east and leaving falin to the elves isnt the best case scenario but it is one that lets the majority of the party survive whatever's coming. its the realistic play. is this the act of a man who hates his former colleagues? is he wishing harm and further misfortune on them? his actions speak for themselves. you guys are being way too hard on toshiro and its really fucking telling. this goes for white viewers especially

#dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #ive been in both laios and toshiro's perspectives re: their interpersonal miscommunication and did you know! its actually really hard to #tell people how you really feel. shitting on toshiro for not being able to tell a fellow party member hey you're really draining my social #battery is NOT the act of evil some of you seem hellbent on interpreting it as #seph.txt

[cymk8]

I can't stop looking at your Shadowlach art. Any of it. All of it.

- One cos of your artistry: beautiful and soft and the negative space?? Hello??

- Two cos HELLO?? you draw them so soft and sweet and it is just so peaceful to look at your art. (The kitties in the hair brushing one are *so* cute, and non-ship friends are also enamoured with them :3)

Tell us more about your headcanons, please!

Some prompts if needed: How did things progress from platonic? Was it romantic from early on or primarily physical attraction? Were they on similar pages throughout their relationship or did one fall harder?

General invitation to word dump: what thoughts have you most crazed? Why don't you let them out ;)

(thank u so much...for your compliment and also the fact you sent this ask in the first place has made my day)

God I have so fucking many thoughts I'm going little insane about it and I'm literally so happy you asked because. I have been w a i t i n g HAHA

Your prompts:

We have all heard That Line™; I'd imagine that having both been so pent up, they would immediately jump each other's bones given the opportunity — Shadowheart is absolutely unsubtle and Karlach is Karlach

I actually think it would be one sided for a while!! But not in the piney way. I think Shadowheart attempts to rizz the shit out of Karlach only to fail because Karlach's situation with her engine essentially made her exceptionally good at Resisting Temptation (I find it absolutely hilarious that most of Karlach's in-game responses are so purposefully obtuse when it comes to her)

That in particular pisses Shadowheart off since she would be so used to being able to finesse her way through things like this (because of her background as a professional 'spy' — because otherwise...she's an absolute dork); it makes her try extra hard and eventually come to the conclusion that her attraction is greater when in fact Karlach has had more experience living like a Nun™ than she does

(cont.)

As for the development...I think they would be on similar levels of attraction, but tackle it differently — Karlach would immediately embrace the feeling and Shadowheart will try her fucking hardest to rationalize it away/deny it (queen of repression)

They would probably be fast friends (Shadowheart rizzing Karlach), then actual friends (because Karlach is so earnest Shadowheart feels like she can be earnest too), physically involved, then romantically involved — it only outwardly seems fast, but they definitely have things to work through before they can actually really be honest and feel that they can rely on each other completely

Random headcanon/general thoughts that have going FERAL IN THE CLUB:

I think they work really well together — they balance each other out in the sense that they have very different ways of handling their own stresses and trauma; they have a lot of opportunities to grow even just by being around one another (for example, Shadowheart is so Repressed™ even other characters feel the same way — and Karlach is the opposite); restraint and freedom go hand in hand 😌

They both have a love for adorable things...once the all of the shit with Karlach's heart gets sorted and they FINALLY get to live that cottagecore life, I think their farm would have so many more animals. Like. So many...Karlach would honestly just be so excited to be able to care for things again — and Shadowheart would be excited because she's finally allowed to be just as loud about showing that she DOES care

The idea that Shadowheart's hair could be a signifier for how closed off she is — so throughout the acts, she slowly lets it down/get messier figuratively and literally in front of everyone...AND KARLACH gets permission to touch and braid it as a sign of true trust and vulnerability; it becomes something of a ritual (Karlach is obsessed simply for the fact that she isn't seen as dangerous and is trusted to be able to be gentle about things) (thanks @kanobies for giving me that sweet, sweet psychic damage)

To add to that: they like physically pampering each other — Karlach finally internalizing that she can be 'pretty' and deserving of gentle care and Shadowheart internalizing that she is allowed to want/ask for things that aren't strictly necessary or used towards a greater cause (I don't think she's ever had a strong sense of bodily autonomy in the sense that she was gaslit into thinking every aspect of her life was for Lady Shar)

I'M OBSESSED WITH THE FACT THAT THEY RADIATE DOG ENERGY IN VASTLY DIFFERENT WAYS: thank you Isobel for immediately clocking Shadowheart on sight by calling her a feisty little terrier and for Karlach being literally Clifford the Big Red Dog and

The difference in lifespans...FUCK. KARLACH WOULD TRY SO HARD TO MAKE THEIR TIME TOGETHER WORTH IT/MEMORABLE since she knows her life is comparatively short; Shadowheart would never take it for granted; they make each other keepsakes...🫠🥹🥹

And I still have so much more but I gotta seem like I'm at least somewhat classy (pls...if anyone wants to talk about any of them or both of them I am so mcfucking ready)

#i am not in fact classy #im....SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM #bg3 #shadowheart #karlach #shadowlach

[egberts]

i hope you take this as the genuine question it is and not someone trolling or trying to be obtuse. i think i just spent about an hour writing this! 😅 i am fat, i first learned about and “became a part of” so to speak the body positive/fat liberation community my senior year in high school (8 years ago now). i cannot stress enough how much this question is coming from a well meaning place i just am curious your thoughts on it.

(re:girl dinner)

when we talk about body positivity, it’s understood your health is not determined by your size, no one can look at you and determine how healthy you are. your health, as well as the amount of food you eat, also has no bearing on your moral character. eating a conventially unhealthy amount of food doesn’t give anyone the right to try and shame or silence you, no matter their personal feelings or discomfort for various reasons (“you’re glorifying an unhealthy lifestyle!!” etc).

these principles are not even a question, so why do they not apply to people eating smaller quantities of food? why is the knee jerk reaction to call out how unhealthy it is and how they’re glorifying an unhealthy lifestyle and encouraging others to do the same, especially when that’s what fat people have been accused of forever? it seems so, so disconnected from and counter productive to the entire point of liberation from societal body/diet standards.

if it’s purely concern for the possible encouraging or egging on of harmful eating behaviors, even that could be said to go both ways. i struggle with binge eating disorder and have horrendous troubles with impulse control. to the point that concepts like intuitive eating would leave somebody like me lying in pain on the floor after a triggered binge. i know i personally have to be careful with what i eat because trigger foods could end with me sick. yet how downright inappropriate would it be to make that the problem of someone just enjoying a larger meal? someone who goes about their diet in a different way and has different limits than me? or god forbid even just also struggling with binging!? i mean, underlying eating disorder or not, whether they eat that way frequently or not, none of these things really make it okay regardless to comment on how much someone’s eating or propose that showing the amount of food they eat is not okay.

something i personally have had struggles with in my journey of self acceptance and navigating life in a marginalized body is having to unpack the aspects, and what i believed to be values, of my body positivity that i clung to for reasons that weren’t truly in line with fat liberation. so much of my activism was just me serving my insecurities because i hadn’t truly worked through them yet. just remember to check in on yourself sometimes and really dig into the root of some of the values you hold and make sure they’re coming from a place that’s beneficial.

tldr; someone showing off their small meal is fundamentally and healthwise no different from someone showing off their large meal. neither is inherently bad nor good, it just is. so why do we show double standards(on an across the board principle)?

I cannot stress enough just how flawed your comparison of fat people existing to people promoting two almonds and some water as "girl" dinner is not the same thing. yes, fat people are ACCUSED of glorifying disordered eating, but they are not actually doing that. people who use the term "girl" dinner are actively linking the act of eating small amounts of food or no food at all with being a girl, that's the major takeaway from this discussion. this isn't about shaming big meals vs small meals, either. this is about calling out actually actively advocating for eating nothing for dinner and going to bed. nobody is looking at the thin people promoting girl dinner and calling them out for being unhealthily skinny, we're calling them out for promoting not eating, which is something your body needs to do to function or your brain will shrivel up and you'll die. "girl dinner" is a depression meal, it's food when you can't afford groceries, it's a snack between something more substantial. also, how can you actually come to me and think that defending the slippery slope into eating disorders is a logical thing to do? tiktok is full of teenagers, dude, somebody needs to tell them that it's not fucking healthy to eat a slice of cheese and nothing else for dinner. this also isn't about shaming people at home living their personal lives and eating what they can to get by, this is about people actively posting to thousands of young impressionable followers that it's cool and fun to eat nothing, and in some cases it's literally being used to justify weight loss and being skinny. I would legitimately be just as critical about this if it was fat people eating piles of donuts and calling it lard dinner. but ultimately none of this even matters to either of us, I'm not going on tiktok and telling the teenagers that they're learning dumb shit, I'm not going and personally calling out the women responsible for corrupting a harmless trend, I'm just here sitting on my couch giving my opinion on my blog, and while you might not be on your couch you are certainly here giving your opinion in my ask box, at the end of the day we are just two clowns honking around 🤡

#genuinely mean no offense anon but i stand behind saying your logic is incredibly flawed #long post #tw disordered eating #ed tw

[roxygen22]

Still Here (Chapter 5)

Summary: Your mother fills you in on unexpected news about Timothée's past, and you meet his neighbors. You make a new mom friend!

A/N: Fem!reader's relationship with her mother isn't the healthiest.

Catch up on previous chapters here.

After you got home and helped Madison inside, you sent Timothée the picture of him and her together on the boat.

Thought you might like to have this.

You walked to the living room where your parents were watching TV. You collapsed onto the sofa in exhaustion.

"Did you have fun?" your mother asked.

"We had a blast. Timothée took us out to the cove on the other side of the lake to swim. He even let Maddy drive the boat on the way back."

She smiled. "It was good for both of you to get out and have some fun."

"I agree. I feel...lighter. Timothée said that his neighbors have kids around Maddy's age. One of them may even be in her grade in the fall."

"Oh, that'll be nice for her."

"I'm going to ask him to introduce us so maybe she can get to know them before the school year starts. It'll be nice if she can know at least one kid."

Your mom hesitated. "Are you- do you think you'll be hanging out more often with Timothée?"

You cocked your head to the side, confused by her question. "Well, yes. I haven't really re-connected with anybody else here yet. It just worked out that I ran into him at the grocery store. And, well...it's almost like no time has passed at all."

She nodded. "I get that. But just- just be careful with his feelings. He's such a sweet boy and he has been through a lot."

You typically appreciated how your mom rose above small-town gossip, but not in this case. "What do you mean?"

"Not my story to tell. But if he hasn't told you already, I do think you should know that his mother passed away a few years ago."

Your hand shot to your mouth to silence your gasp. "Oh no. What happened? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Like years ago when it happened?!"

"Well, you were going through your own troubles, and you and he hadn't spoken in years at that point. He had enough on his plate without an ex-girlfriend vying for attention."

"I- I could have called him. Messaged him. Offered my condolences instead of coming across as callous or obtuse. Oh, now it makes so much more sense why he said he's helping out his dad. Or the look on his face when I said to tell his parents hello from me." You clasped your hand to your forehead. You had always liked Mrs. Chalamet.

"Just...spare his feelings. You already hurt him once." She gave you her classic condescending look.

"Spare his fee- He hurt me, too, you know!" You raised your voice in return. "And I'll have you know we talked through that today. Like adults!" You got up and stormed outside to the porch swing. She has some nerve. You sat there with your arms crossed, staring out across the field, until you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

She reminds me so much of you. She doesn't just look like you. She acts like you, too.

You smirked.

Bless her heart.

That's not a bad thing.

Don't tell her that. She'll just roll her eyes. But I get it. She wants to be her own person.

Hmm. Opinionated and stubborn. Sounds like someone I know.

She does come by it honest.

You laid your phone beside you and let out a long sigh. What am I supposed to do with the information Mom just told me? How do I even bring it up in conversation? I can't not say anything, but I also don't want to make him sad. You picked up your phone again when it buzzed.

She's a cool kid. Want me to see if my neighbors are available tomorrow to meet so she can hang out with other kids?

That would be lovely. We're free all day.

Stay tuned.

By that point you had cooled off, so you decided to go apologize to your mother for raising your voice and check on Madison. She had fallen asleep again in her room. Poor thing was tuckered out from the lake. You figured she would wake up soon to announce that she was hungry. Your phone buzzed again.

How about 6pm at the park on the square? They have church in the morning, and it's too hot to play outside in the early afternoon.

Sounds like a plan. Will you be joining us?

Nah, I'm going to just make you guess who you are supposed to meet. Of course I'm coming.

You snorted at his sarcasm.

Just curious. You know what happens when one assumes things. See you there.

I can come pick y'all up since you're on the way. No sense in three vehicles heading to the same space when two will do.

You drove us all the way out to the lake and back. Why don't you leave your truck at my parents' place and we can ride in my car.

Ok. I'll be there around 5:30.

<><><><><>

By 5:00pm the next day, you had changed clothes three times trying to find something cute but practical for the park. I really need to go shopping for myself at some point, you thought. Madison came into your room every five minutes to ask when Timothée was going to be there.

He was punctual and drove down the driveway at exactly 5:30. Madison beat you out the door and ran down the steps to give him a hug, which shocked you both.

"Hey there, kiddo, long time no see." He patted her on the back.

"But, I just saw you yesterday." She looked up at him in confusion.

He chuckled. You interjected quietly, "It's a figure of speech, Mads. He was being sarcastic because he did just see you yesterday."

"Ohhh."

You heard the screen door shut behind you and footsteps on the porch. Timothée stepped around the two of you and jogged up the steps to give your mother a hug and shake your dad's hand. "Mr. and Mrs. [L/N]. Good to see you."

"You, too, honey. It's been a while since I've seen you in town," your mom replied.

"Oh, well, I've been busy between the shop and taking care of my dad."

Your eyes dropped to the ground. You dragged the tip of your shoe through the dirt. The clues had been there all along; you just didn't see them. You turned to find Madison was already in the car and buckled, waiting as patiently as a 9-year-old can. You got in partially to start the car so she would have some air.

"Well, we better get going. Thanks for letting me leave my truck here," you heard Timothée say.

"Y'all have fun," your dad called out.

Your mother followed Timothée to your car. You rolled down your window and shut the door. "Did you pack some sunscreen and water?" she quizzed you, looking inside as he got in on the other side.

"Yes, Mom."

"What about snacks and extra clothes if Madison gets dirty?"

"I have all of that under control. And if I forgot something, we're a whopping 15 minutes away," you responded.

"Okay." She patted your arm that rested on the car door. "Have fun, stay out of trouble."

"Bye, Mrs. [L/N]," Timothée said sweetly as he waved.

"Bye, Nana!" Madison yelled from the back.

You looked over at Timothée as you rolled up the window. "Sorry about that."

"She cares. It's sweet. You shouldn't take it for granted," he said, looking down at his hands.

You hesitated. "Timothée, I- she told me last night about your mom. I'm so sorry. She was such a kind woman. If I had known, I would have reached out." You grabbed the hand of his closest to you and squeezed before returning yours to the steering wheel.

"Thanks, [Y/N]. I miss her a great deal, but it's getting easier with time."

All of you were silent for the rest of the drive. The nervousness of meeting new people was catching up to you. Did I upset him? Will I be able to carry on conversation with the parents without it getting awkward? Will Madison get along with the kids? you worried. You drove up to the park and spotted a family there already with three kids.

"Is that them?" you asked and nodded your head in their direction. Timothée looked up and around.

"Yep. That's Blake and Holly. The kids are Anthony, Emerie, and Bradley. Ready?"

"Yes! Let's go!" Madison interrupted before you could respond. The three of you got out of your car and crossed the parking lot. As you got closer, Madison's earlier eagerness morphed into shyness. She tucked herself against your side.

"Timothée! Over here!" you heard the woman, Holly, call out. You all walked over to the picnic table where they were gathered.

"Hey, Holly, Blake." Timothée nodded then gestured to you and Madison. "This is [Y/N] and her daughter, Madison, who I was telling you about."

"It's so nice to meet you," Holly said as you all shook hands. She bent over to eye level with Madison. "Especially you! You're 9, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"My Emerie is 9, too. Let's see, where is she?" Holly stood. "Kids, come over here, please," she shouted. The three children ran over to their mother. "This is Anthony. He's 11, and Bradley here is 6. And this is Emerie. Kids, this is Madison. She's Emerie's age."

Madison shyly waved. Emerie stepped up and asked, "Want to go slide with me?" Madison nodded and followed. The boys took their soccer ball out to the field to continue playing. Echoes of the girls' giggles soon filled the air.

Timothée sat beside you on the bench seat of the picnic table to watch Madison play. You looked across the table at Holly and Blake. "Thank you for meeting us here. And for letting Madison borrow the lifejacket yesterday. She had an absolute blast."

"We're happy to meet someone new! We didn't know anyone when we moved here a few years ago, so we understand what it's like to start over. Though I understand you grew up here?" Holly asked.

"I did. But I moved to California for college when I was 18 and lived there until just recently. This is a strange new world for Madison, though."

"It'll get easier for her with time. It seems like she and Emerie have hit it off quite well." Holly smiled. "She should acclimate quickly in school, too. The teachers are fantastic."

"That's so good to hear. I need to go take care of her registration paperwork soon."

"I had to do it with Anthony after we moved, if you need any help," Holly offered.

You smiled. "Thanks. I might take you up on that." The two of you continued to converse about kids, school, and life in California. It seemed promising that the two of you could become friends, too. Your first mom friend.

Madison came running over at full speed and stopped just short of the table. She leaned down with her hands on her knees as she caught her breath. "Emerie said I could come over and play sometime. Can I?" she asked through her panting.

"Well, if her parents are also okay with it." You looked over at Holly who laughed and nodded. "Then yes."

"She said yessss!" Madison yelled as she ran back to playground. All of the adults chuckled.

You looked over at Timothée and smiled. "Thank you for this," you said quietly. He said nothing, just bumped your shoulder with his. Holly looked at you with a little smirk.

As the evening came to a close, you exchanged numbers with Holly and thanked her and Blake again. You both wrangled your respective children and parted ways.

Madison talked a mile a minute on the way home about her time with Emerie and even expressed some excitement about going to a new school. Neither you nor Timothée could get a word in edgewise. Once you arrived home, you asked her to run inside and get ready for a shower while you said goodbye to Timothée.

"Mission accomplished," he said warmly as he watched the girl skip up the steps and through the front door.

"Indeed. That's the first I've heard her embrace being here for the new school year and looking forward to it. Thanks for coordinating and tagging along. I'm sure you had to be bored," you said, walking with him to his truck.

"On the contrary. I had a good time. They're good folk. And you two are cool, too." He winked, and you blushed.

"So about that dinner I mentioned yesterday. My treat this time, if you're still game. We still need to catch up about YOU." You playfully poked his chest.

"As long you let me drive. Maybe Friday? We can drive into Hartley. I know a good place, and there is something I want to show you."

<><><><><>

Chapter 6

Masterlist

<><><><><>

Tag List:

@croatianprincess

@bluizh

#timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x reader #timothée chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet x you #timothée chalamet #timothée chalamet x you #timothee x reader #timothée x reader #timothee x you #timothée x you #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothée chalamet imagine #timothee fanfic #divorce #single mom #single parent #single parenting #angst #whump #eventual happy ending #high school sweethearts #female reader #mom reader #reader insert

[claymoresword]

The Queen And Her Knight | Chp: 3

Alicent Hightower x Knight Fem!Reader

Summary: Alicent Hightower against her better judgement, falls in love with her sworn protector. Can she bear to fight her feelings or will she finally just give in?

Pairing: Alicent Hightower x Reader

Wordcount: 3.6k

Warnings: fluff, harsh language, aegon ii targaryen, reader is a total simp for alicent

Note: "An incredibly closeted young woman who will do anything for hugs" -Olivia Cooke

just to clarify this version of aegon ii isn't an abuser he treats women just fine but he is still a loser !

i hope u enjoy this one let me know what u think! <3

not my gifs btw

"Drink it."

"No."

You sat the cup down, firmly crossing your arms as you sit back in the chair.

"Come on! We are celebrating!" The prince exclaims, pushing the rim of his own cup to your lips.

"Forgive my daftness my Prince but what exactly are we celebrating?" You swiftly grabbed his hand to still his movements.

"Your return, ofcourse!" Aegon nearly scoffs, acting as if you were being obtuse on purpose.

"Mother has been utterly morose without you here."

"The Queen tries her best to hide it but only ends up being disagreeable. Which would be fine if I were not always on the receiving end of her moods."

You throw the Prince a look, admittedly stunned at his words.

Alicent was truly that miserable when you were gone? Even Aegon, someone so imperious and self interested, could see it.

Aegon smirks knowingly, he has said the right thing to convince you.

He raises his cup and gestures for you to do the same.

"To Lady y/n, for returning to my mother's aide and in turn, my own. I do not know where we would be without you, my dear friend."

The platinum haired Prince places a quick hand on your shoulder as a gesture of gratitude before chugging his ale.

You followed his lead, too late to back out now.

--

The room had begun to spin, you definitely needed to stop drinking if you wanted to report for duty in the morrow.

The prince has long dissappeared into the back rooms. He had bought himself a suitable whore, or five to be precised, satisfying his needs for the night.

You had half a mind to get up and leave Aegon to his deeds but a part of you felt obligated. For Alicent, you needed to make sure her son is escorted back to the castle safely.

Your mind rarely ever strayed too far from the Queen. She occupied your entire headspace, you are intoxicated in her presence and grieve her when you are apart. You have lived this way since the first moment you met.

Naturally, you began to recall the incident that occurred in your chambers earlier that night. You started to feel something familiar stir in the pit of your stomach. You found yourself wondering how far the two of you would have gone if the Prince hadn't interrupted.

You are broken out of your thoughts when you hear giggling coming from across the room. You glance over and spot a group of women, evidently workers of that brothel.

Each of them whispering and throwing sheepish glances your way.

"Gods, she's a Greyjoy?"

You hear one of them say as she brings her thumb up to her mouth gnawing at it slightly, hiding a blush.

You throw the woman a warm smile as a good gesture. A terrible mistake you soon realised, as you watched her make her way towards you.

The woman took advantage of your unoccupied lap and situated herself on it. Her hand finding the back of your neck as she turns towards you. She is entirely too close for your liking, you can smell the ale on her breath.

"Hello gorgeous, why are you here all alone?" She leans in to whisper in your ear.

You give her an uncomfortable smile this time unsure of how to approach the situation.

"I am awaiting someone. He went into the back rooms."

The woman lets out a sudden laugh, loud and obnoxious enough to make you grimace.

"You are waiting for the Prince? Then you will be waiting all night sweetheart."

You didn't appreciate her condescension.

"You look terribly lonely my lady, allow me to take care of you."

The woman breathes out as she move her hand to your chest, slipping it under your shirt, her intentions were clear.

You grabbed her hand abruptly stopping her from touching you any further.

"I have no interest in being taken care of, thank you." You respond curtly, no longer meeting the woman's gaze you only wanted her to get off your lap.

"Am I not to your liking, my lady? Perhaps you'd prefer one of the maidens instead?" Her thumb grazes your jaw forcing you to glance at the other ladies sat across the room.

They did look young, way too young to be in a place like this.

"No, I assure you it's quite alright." You repeated sternly.

The woman removes her hand from your neck and slumps backwards. Her back resting agaisnt the edge of the table.

Your hand finds her waist reflexively, to keep her from falling off your lap completely.

"Alright then. If you ever wish to know what it feels like to be properly satisfied, you know where to find me."

With that, she finally leaves you alone. You took a large swig of your drink. You were never one to reject a woman's advances but you realised that you were no longer in the Iron Islands. It was already of poor standing for the Queen's sworn knight to be seen in a place like this. You decide to not push it any further.

Above all, the truth was you no longer had any desire to lay with anybody who wasn't Alicent. The queen has completely ruined you for other women.

--

Alicent is awoken by the sun streaming in through her curtains. She is shocked at how well rested she feels this morning. Her mind immediately turns to you and she's greeted by a warmth in her chest. You kissed last night but the guilt she once felt is no longer. She does not recognise the feeling stirring inside her but she would imagine it is as close as she will ever get to peace.

Like clockwork, she hears a knock at her door. Her handmaiden, come to dress her for the day.

"Come!"

Talya walks in, curtseys and makes her way to the windows. Pulling the curtains open the morning sun now illuminating the entirety of the Queen's chambers.

Alicent stands and allows her handmaiden to fix up her bedding, their usual routine. The queen puts on her robe and moves to stand by her window, she spots Aemond walking across the field in his riding attire he must be on his way to the dragon pit. A fond smile forms across her face, her darling boy.

She suddenly notices she could no longer hear the ruffling of pillows. Talya is stood behind the Queen, her gaze fixed on the ground as she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

The auburn haired woman turns her attention to her handmaiden. Her face contorts in genuine concern.

"Talya, what is it?" Alicent breaks the silence.

"Your Grace, there are rumours concerning Lady y/n's conduct. I figured that it would be better for you to hear these claims from me first."

Alicent feels the wind get knocked out of her. She clasps her hands over her abdomen at an attempt to stay composed. Did somebody see them last night? How could that be when they were in the privacy of y/n's chambers?

"Go on, what are these rumours you speak of?"

"The lady y/n had been spotted engaging in activities unbeffiting of a lady of her status."

"Activities? Please, speak plainly Talya." Alicent commands.

"She was seen in a brothel during the hour of the ghosts, with the young Prince Aegon."

Alicent no longer feels warm. Only the nausea emanating from deep inside her belly, a result of her disgust.

She brings her hand up to her throat rubbing at it soothingly.

Talya continues despite the Queen's obvious discomfort.

"She was seen with another woman, it is said that they were engaging in certain acts that should only ever include a man and a woman."

Alicent winces involuntarily, her handmaiden notices and looks down at the ground once more.

The Queen suppresses the sob threatening to come out of her lips before speaking again.

"Very well Talya, thank you for telling me."

Alicent feels as if she had just been struck in the chest, hard.

Her sadness quickly dissipating and she now only feels anger. How could y/n do this to her? Especially after the events of last night, why would you risk sullying your reputation? She needed to confront you about this. She wanted the truth.

"Help me dress now, I must attend to the King."

--

You open your eyes and right away feeling an all too familiar pounding in your head.

You lift your hand up to cover your face, the room was just too bright.

"Seven hells." You grumble as you reach for water just to realise you weren't in your own chambers.

Opening your eyes slowly you brace yourself for the sight of the woman from the brothel. In your drunken state you must have taken her to bed afterall.

To your horror, you quickly recognised the interior of the chambers to be Prince Aegon's.

You feel movement next to you and quickly turn your head, you are inches away from the Prince's face the both of you now only noticing each other for the first time.

Your eyes widen and you both let out a yell, he mirrors your expression as he pulls the covers closer to his bare chest.

You recoil moving further back away from him resulting in you falling off the bed, landing harshly on the ground.

"Fuck." You let out a groan. What the hell happened last night?

You looked down inspecting your attire. Your clothes were still on, everything was intact except for your sword and footwear which was strewn across the floor to your right. You sighed in relief. Atleast the worst didn't happen.

You stand up, your eyes meeting Aegon's worried expression.

"We did not.. do anything last night, did we?" Aegon asks and you feel the urge to fling your shoe at him for even suggesting it.

"You did things I am sure of it but definitely not with me. I am fully clothed." You state, putting on your shoes. You look up at him again.

"I am asking this to simply satisfy my curiosity my Prince but why exactly are you naked?" You watch as Aegon clutches the white sheet over his body holding onto it for dear life.

"I found that I rest much better unclothed, force of habit I suppose."

You found yourself staring at him bewildered for a few moments before you speak again.

"I should go now."

"Yes, best not to mention this to anyone." The prince warns.

"Aye, no one." You assure.

You pick up your sword and turn to make your way out of his chambers but you are stopped in your tracks by the sight before you.

"Your Grace." You coughed out.

The queen stood by the door, her hands by her sides. You watched as she balls her fists before relaxing them. It looked as if she was suppressing the urge to lunge at you. The expression on her face was otherwise a dead giveaway, she was furious.

Her eyes flitted to her son, she scans his appearance before scowling.

This is bad. This is really very bad.

"Your Grace, it truly is not what it looks like. Please allow me to explain."

Alicent lifts her hand up, you stop speaking immediately.

You have been face to face with actual dragons and in this moment she is more intimidating than any of them.

"My chambers. Now." She stares at you and you knew better than to challenge her.

You nod and follow the Queen swiftly to her rooms.

--

Alicent slammed the door to her chambers, promptly making her way towards you. Her hands coming into contact with your chest she shoves you hard, you lose your balance slightly but otherwise do not budge. Tears well up in her eyes and your heart shatters at the sight.

You've hurt her.

The queen shoves you again, this time she is repeatedly hitting your chest with her fists, being considerably stronger than she is you barely flinch. You stood your ground allowing her to take it out on you. Alicent needed to let her anger show once in awhile.

You hear her sob and you bring your hands up to pull her into an embrace. She fights you for a moment before giving in, she clings onto you and you feel her shoulders rapidly rise and fall as she cries into your chest.

"What are you doing to me" Alicent's voice breaks and you only hold her tighter.

"I do not wish to cause you pain Alicent, I am truly sorry. Nothing happened between me and the Prince, you must believe me."

Alicent stays silent and you continue.

"I came along with the sole purpose of keeping an eye on him. I admit I had too much to drink last night but I swear to you that is the worst of it."

You can feel her breathing become even, she is no longer sobbing.

She lifts her head and looks at you through glistening eyes. A tear falls down her cheek as she blinks and you move your hand gently wiping it away with your thumb. You take the opportunity to hold her face in your hand for a moment and she allows you to.

Alicent takes a step back, you are no longer holding her but you are still close enough to feel her breath against your skin.

"And what of the woman at the brothel? You took her to bed did you not?"

You were wounded at the accusation, although you could not entirely blame Alicent for it. You had a reputation before coming to King's Landing, most people knew you had an avid interest in sleeping around. However, that was back in the Iron Islands, before you met the Queen. Thinking back on it now it seems like a lifetime ago.

You gaze softens, you shake your head before grabbing Alicent's hand.

"I have not laid with any other since being back here." You admit, bringing the Queen's hand up to your lips, you place a tender kiss against it.

You noticed as Alicent lets out a breath of relief. You step closer, planting another kiss on her arm.

You lift the Queen's hand up to place it on your chest, right above your heart.

"I have no desire for anybody else, Your Grace." Your hand firmly on top of hers, you know she can feel your heartbeat. It is steady and calm, as you only speak the truth.

"I am yours, if you want me. It has always been you, Alicent." You whisper, your gaze now fixed on the Queen's lips.

You watch as her lips part for a moment. She fails to say anything and you take the opportunity to lean in, kissing her deeply. Alicent reciprocates before settling her hand on your shoulder as you end the kiss.

"You admit these things to me truthfully?" The older woman breathes against your lips.

"I only ever want to tell you the truth, my Queen." You respond.

Alicent leans forward once again, this time she pulls you into a kiss.

"I believe you."

A smile forms on your lips but it quickly falls when the Queen flashes you a stern look.

"You are so lucky I do not have a dragon of my own." Alicent jests and you let out a laugh.

"You'd feed me to a dragon?" You gasp, hand over your chest feigning offence.

"If you infuriate me enough, yes I would." A smirk on your face, this time you don't try to suppress it.

"Ah, baseless threats Alicent. I know you despise those beasts." You say, absentmindedly rubbing the Queen's arm.

Alicent giggles and you stomach flutters at the sight. She is just so beautiful.

"Speaking of Dragons, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived from Dragonstone I must make my way over to greet her. I will see you later."

Alicent moves to walk away but you grab her hand stopping her.

"Your Grace, I shall come with. I am your sworn knight afterall."

The Queen shakes her head at you before speaking.

"Take the morning off y/n, I am sure the events of last night has left you depleted. This morning's a long and tedious one."

"I will be listening in on petitions for the Driftmark succession." Alicent explains and she is right that does not sound like something you wanted to sit through.

"I have arranged for Ser Criston to escort me. You will resume your post later today."

You nodded, protesting no further. Alicent places a quick kiss on your cheek before giving you a genuine smile, making her way towards the door. You follow behind her but turning in the opposite direction once you have reached the hallway, you walked to your own chambers.

--

"Her children are bastards!" Lord Vaemond shouts for the entire throne room to hear.

Alicent shifts her gaze to Viserys, how foolish of him to lose his temper before the King. There will only be dire consequences.

"And she is a whore." The auburn haired woman eyes widen, she could not believe this was happening.

"I will have your tongue, for that." Viserys wheezes, pulling out his dagger.

Alicent hears gasps all across the room and in one swift motion Prince Daemon swings Dark Sister, cutting Vaemond's head clean in half.

She flinches at the horrific sight and immediately turns to Heleana, her only instinct in the moment was to protect her daughter.

"Disarm him!" The guards surround the rogue prince, forcing him to yield his sword.

Viserys can be heard groaning in pain and the Queen rushes over to him, catching him in her arms. All of his weight on her she struggles to hold her husband up. He was too weak to stand on his own feet.

"My love, please you must take something for the pain." She insists before one of the guards helps lift the King back onto his seat escorting him to his rooms.

--

Alicent places the empty cup by Viserys' bedside. The king, finally asleep. She lifts the blanket further up to his chest before standing up to make her way out of his apartments.

The entire walk back to her chambers Alicent can merely focus on how exhausted she was. The day is not close to being over. She still had to sit through dinner with Rhaenyra and her husband.

--

You were stood posted outside the Queen's rooms for awhile now awaiting her return. Feeling better after a bath and a decent meal you were ready to properly resume your duties.

Footsteps can be heard approaching and you catch a glimpse of the auburn haired beauty you were expecting to see. Though the expression on her face looks less than thrilled. She looks utterly defeated.

Being Queen of the seven kingdoms you highly doubted the existence of a simple day. You do not envy her.

"Was it dreadful?" You ask once she gets close enough to hear you.

Alicent sighs before answering.

"Abysmal."

The queen looks around to make sure nobody was near before reaching to open the door to her chambers. You move out of her way but she quickly grabs your arm pulling you inside with her.

In the privacy of her rooms she wraps your arm around her own waist, gesturing for you to hug her. You do so without a moment's thought and Alicent melts into your embrace.

You hold her for a few moments, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. You could really get used to this.

Alicent lets out another sigh and you rub her back at an attempt to soothe her.

"My love, what's happened?" You ask, still rubbing small circles onto her back.

"Vaemond Velaryon was beheaded in the throne room infront of everybody." The older woman merely states, exasperated.

"What?" You exclaim in disbelief, moving back slightly to meet Alicent's gaze.

"By the King's orders?"

Alicent shakes her head before leaning into you once again.

"It was Daemon, he took justice into his own hands."

"Ah, I see. I know Prince Daemon. I had the displeasure of fighting alongside him in the stepstones all those years ago." You admitted. The Rogue Prince every bit lived up to his name. You do not miss his company one bit.

"The King ordered a family supper tonight. I want nothing more than to miss it."

"Though I suppose I will have to settle with only having a quick nap beforehand." Alicent says lifting her head and you release her from your embrace.

The Queen walks over to her bed and you nod your head at her before turning to leave.

"Where are you going?"

An amused expression flashes across your face.

"I thought you wanted to rest, Alicent."

"I do." The Queen says now sitting on her bed, she extends her hand out for you to grab.

You walk up to her, your hand now in hers, she pulls you closer and eventually you had no choice but to land on the bed next to her.

Alicent lays her head on the pillow, her back towards you. It now became clear that she wanted you to spoon her.

You oblige gladly, quickly unclasping your sword from your side you carefully set it by her bed. Moving closer to her your hand finds her waist and Alicent grabs your arm quickly wrapping it around herself until your hand was against her abdomen.

You listen as Alicent's breathing becomes shallow as she rapidly falls into a deep slumber.

You can feel your chest constricting, an unfathomable amount of love for the Queen. You truly would do anything to ensure her happiness. Right now holding her as she slept, you were certain you never wanted to let go.

#alicent hightower #alicent hightower x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii x y/n #team green #rhaenicent #rhaenyra x reader #rhaenyra targaryen #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #heleana targaryen #heleana x reader

[lloydfrontera]

still thinking of that au way back when and i just picture it being like:

webtoon javier, who hasn't yet realized webnovel lloyd isn't webtoon lloyd feeling sick: you don't have to try so hard you know. i already checked the connection between your soul and your body- webnovel lloyd, who is Convinced his cover is perfect: wHAT

meanwhile:

webnovel javier, in a hushed conference w webtoon lloyd: obviously i'm waiting for master lloyd to tell me himself!! webtoon lloyd, twisting his pinky in his ear as if to clean his ears out from that bs: yeah well. that is never gonna happen sorry. ever. *remembers how he almost had a heart attack overhearing his javier's convo w julian*

about this

wt!javier not having a single subtle bone in his body when it comes to lloyd is so funny to me, like this is the guy who decided he didn't care to pretend to not know lloyd is acting weird, of course he would immediately confront wn!lloyd when he starts acting strange but still be too oblivious to realize this is not his lloyd lmao

and wn!lloyd realizing that oh javier is way more attentive than he gave him credit for and if this javier has noticed something going on when he just switched places with a different version of himself then his own javier definitely has picked up on the difference between him and og!lloyd and that,,,, that is something he's not dealing with right now he's busy he can have a panic attack later he's fine everything is Fine.

also i'm so curious about how wn!javier and wc!lloyd ended up talking about the topic because there is. no way. wn!javier brought up the topic first. he's the king of pretending he doesn't notice the weird thing happening in the background no see he was distracted by the shiny yeah totally for sure. so if anything it had to have been wc!lloyd that took the first step, probably thinking these versions of them had the same arrangement as he and javier did and that it may be very well be worth the risk of losing the plausible deniability they'd worked so hard to keep between them if it meant getting back home faster.

ajdkadjkas he probably tried to be subtle first, just speaking around it, hoping javier would get the hint and they could start working together without having to really acknowledge it, only to get immediately frustrated by how obtuse wn!javier was being, doesn't he know how this works, why is he being so difficult it almost seems like he's deliberately ignoring the signs lloyd is trying to give,,,, oh. Oh.

cue wc!dropping the facade and being as blunt as possible, just shy of grabbing him by the face and telling him "hey i'm not your lloyd so if you can't stop being stupid on purpose and help me get home asap that would be great" lmao

also!!! wn!javier getting the chance to talk about The Topic with lloyd, even if it's not his,,,,, he's such a curious baby he would ask all sorts of questions about him and where he came from, cause he finally has the chance to speak about it but i don't think wc!lloyd would give him much tbh. he can see the Mess that's brewing between this version of them and he has no desire of dipping his spoon on that particular pot aksjdkafd

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #javier asrahan #switched lloyd au

[jlf23tumble]

If larries think Louis is closeted why are they surprised/offended he “acts straight” (my bros in cheezits it’s been nearly a year since he was pictured with a lady - what are you talking about), or bitch slaps “fans” who bring up gay relationship lore? And they make it about their feelings on the matter?? Does he not have his own feelings, like maybe he doesn’t want the entire world talking about how he’s gay (neon letters- gay w/ Harry Styles - who to anyone with a brain seems not straight)?!

All the times when there is actually a simple, straightforward explanation that, u kno what, would actually align with their narrative to some degree if they weren’t so obtuse, they take the L and become crybabies. Also, maybe they should just stop being cunts to him. I kno, what a concept.

It's the "maybe they should just stop being cunts to him" for me, but yeah, so much of this! Because here's the thing, he's a real-life person, and he's living his own real life, not a script, not a fic, not a built-up fantasy quilted by overly invested strangers. I feel for him, and I'm not here to say there was nothing there, clearly there was, but also? Maybe, just MAYBE there isn't anymore, and maybe, just MAYBE he's genuinely pissed to have to talk about it allllll the time as this cutesy GOTCHA by people who put in their bios that they believe in conspiracy theories around his sex life, desperate to break the fourth wall in a way that both outs him and dredges up a relationship that might not be something he wants to be dealing with at the moment. And rather than think, wow, oof, sorry, king, that's on me, instead, you have people all ass-hurt about it, acting like he's some kind of dick for (justifiably) losing it. You haven't been gaslit, you haven't been lied to, you haven't been baited, he owes you literally jack shit about something that maybe just MAYBE hits him on god knows what fronts (this is not YOU you, anon, lmao, you get it)

#louis tomlinson said larry NOT okay #and that's his right #everyone who's all 'exhausted' about it or whatever #maybe think about how you'd feel if that was you #any bit of it #the entitlement #the way people don't get it because they're living in this hashtag they're still together! they never broke up! #well what if they did! #what then huh! #do you think it would be funsies to have to just absorb that shit? #what else did he see and this is what made him mcfuckin' lose it? #i can only imagine lmaoooooo

[harocat]

It bothers me so much when people act like YoI wasn't successful and/or it was never going to get a continuation. Even when you point out facts like sales figures and that they said it would continue and be their main priority, they still insist it isn't true based on some random piece of info/their own perception. I think gaslit is a word that gets thrown around to often, but it does weirdly feel like that. Like, I remember what was going on, why are they saying it didn't happen like that?

I don't know. There's concrete numbers and facts. I can give you the amount of dvd/bds YOI sold (an average of 69,520 a volume, the fourth highest of any anime since 2000, the second highest of any original series, only behind freakin' Madoka Magica, and only barely), the amount of money it made off physical media (3,686,669,100 yen*), and you can link to the endless polls and awards it won, many of them decided by fan vote, both inside and outside of Japan.

They do not care. At this point it's just being deliberately obtuse. YOI was a phenomenon, an astronomical hit like no show before it in a similar genre. I've never seen a bag fumbled as badly as MAPPA and Avex did with YOI. They announced a movie, of course, but Kubo and Sayo also directly talked about a continuation (and even had a name for the 'arc'), and they said they wanted to work in the universe as long as they could. It's just ignoring facts to say YOI wasn't meant to get a continuation. Otsuka talked about a continuation as well!

*this is about thirty-two million in 2017 USD. Note that this is JUST for blurays and CDs, in Japan only. The profits from merchandise, ticket sales, and anything else are not included in this. I think we all remember how much YOI merch there was. A random fact about this is that in media sales in 2017, it placed eighth among all franchises. What's huge and notable about this is that media sales cover home video, cds, manga, novels, and a nebulous 'other.' Every other franchise on the list had home video, cds, manga, and novels at least. YOI made the list with only home video and CDs (just the six DVDs/BDs and two soundtrack CDs).

#yuri on ice

[2n2n]

(Hey do you know if hanako kun seal come off, the entire world will fall in disrray..... * that was close-!!* *heart thumping*)

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your opinion on this?

It's primarily just a joke because Aida-sensei messed up and didn't include the seal on a random drawing suddenly... but I do think it's worth looking at the joke itself. Rather than imagining a Hanako saying "I'M FREE!!" or "nyahahaha", AidaIro-sensei imagine him desperate to secure it back onto his face... we can think of that as something! The gag drawing could be Kou trying to force it back on or idk, Hanako doing something silly without limits, but it's Hanako scared it came off. We can just take the silly drawing as a statement of: Hanako's desperate to keep that thang on. What does it mean to be a dog desperate to stay chained?

I do think Hanako's seal is important to him, and something he seems to want to keep. I often say it but-- I imagine Nene-chan could probably just peel it using her powers, right? But he never asks her to, and he never alludes to his seal as some sort of pain, or problem, or annoyance. There is no underhanded goal to get it off. He doesn't joke about it; he acts as if it is entirely not there and not a concern for anyone, despite it being so plain and obvious. Nene-chan seemingly hasn't worried about it ever since Kou's vague explanation, and Hanako isn't interested in doing any correcting or expositing. He isn't defensive about it, or self-pitying.

I think the seal represents repression, "holding back". Nothing could be more important to Hanako than repression, amirite? I think it's an important memory, whatever occurred, that he doesn't want to lose as a reference point. Because the Minamoto family were aware of the Red House, and their grandma forbade them from ever nearing it, and at some point, also sealed Hanako, we can assume the sealing of Hanako may have touched upon a lot of sensitivities.

Hanako is a person who deflects everything. He is cryptic, obtuse, he jokes and handwaves things, he lies. He's always compromising, or trying to run away. He'll only tell Nene-chan his wish when he believes he will never see her again. He seems afraid of leaning into his own feelings. He won't say anything out loud, not until pushed to the limit, and even then, he doesn't cede much. He is a person who surely feels it would be bad if he did all he wanted, or told the truth. Perhaps the truth is ugly, or what he wants is terrifying.

As Yako talks about "going berserk", Hanako touches his seal. He seems uncomfortable with the notion "you're still you; you don't become somebody else".

Perhaps for Hanako, it would be convenient to believe you become somebody else, or are fundamentally altered. Perhaps he would like to not have to owe all of his actions to only himself, his nature. It would be more convenient to be infected with something external that makes you behave badly, than simply have your heart speak out in its natural tongue.

(by the way, this is why I don't personally like drawing a distinction between 'Amane' and 'Hanako', and I think it is drinking the kool-aid to argue their difference. I do not think the manga's message would be "well, you're different!" versus the FAR more potent message of "you're still you, no matter what", especially when we're arguing about the personhood or authenticity of people like Tsukasa and Mitsuba. We shouldn't be calling anybody 'fake' or 'gone', and we shouldn't really be calling damaged people 'irreparably altered and lost'. Surely, we should accept and love all of somebody, and see them as themselves, at their best, or at their worst. Lost, confused, fractured-- Hanako and Amane have the same heart, and it is miserably in love.)

As humans, it's relatable. We'd often like to imagine it's not our own fault, or not our nature when we react to something. We like to think of some people as "bringing out something bad" in us, or influencing us, changing us, to become bad-- due to THEIR nature, not OURS. We don't like to take ownership of who we are. It's a complicated notion for Hanako, who both wants to be held accountable and given credit for the choices Amane made.....

.... and struggles with full ownership of his selves, his past, his present, his future. Or perhaps he struggles with the continuity of his existence? Those fragmented, lost, altered parts?

... all things his seal makes me think about.

Could Amane really become this? What Hanako is? Could Amane do all Hanako has done. I mean yes, but.... things he has to think about.

The boy behind that seal-- what did he do? What was he like? If we remove Hanako's seal, will some part of him come back-- a part he doesn't want to interface with? Is he reluctant to have access to certain power? Just how much is really behind it? It is a warping abstraction, is it an irrational sense of self-apprehension, or could it be that dramatic?

I enjoy AidaIro joking "the entire world will fall in disarray", it's like his catastrophizing is fodder for THEM to mock (I love how they bully Amane.... the normal Amane is normally useless...)

Well, whatever the case... he must be attached to the self that is sealed, the way he behaves now. He seems to prefer this for himself, but Hanako hates himself.

meanwhile sympathy for Aida-sensei who has to flipflop between sealed and unsealed boys as she draws the living and the dead boy for any random chapter or event. I cannot imagine. it's literally sf hard when drawing the boys to mind the seals.

#avvy's JSHK

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

oh are people still expecting a post from me?

Anyways, my hot-ish take is that, while I fully understand that things Paul and John have said concerning their relationship and their own orientation has led to speculation regarding the nature of their relationship, I think it does a disservice to all parties to try and force a romantic narrative on the break-up of the Beatles.

That isn't to say the theories are wrong or that romantic feelings – whether reciprocated or unreciprocated – played absolutely no role in their falling-out, I just think applying them to the break-up specifically often seems to leave out details in order to tell a more straightforward story of a lover scorned (John) and a jealous third wheel (Paul).*

*Whatever the nature of their relationship, I think it would be disingenuous to boil it all down to romance. I'm NOT saying that romantic relationships are inherently less complex or something silly like that, I'm saying that I have literally seen people say things to the effect of "They were in love with each other and couldn't handle it. End of story."

The reality is that John and Paul were both going through A LOT in 1968/9. They were grappling with Brian's death and dealing with a business they didn't know how to run; they had lost the rights to their songs; John upended his life and more or less abandoned his family from one day to the next – a family Paul cared about as well, mind you; Paul himself got out of a five-year relationship; John entered into a relationship, which seriously infringed upon quality time, which had once been reserved for Paul and the rest of the band; John began heavily using heroin, greatly affecting him as well as everyone around him; John dealt with Yoko being hospitalized due to a miscarriage just after painful divorce hearings; Paul slowly had to realize he was not in control of any of this.

I don't see how them being in love would somehow make all the above circumstances trivial in comparison. Nevertheless, more often than not, I see the two (and more Paul than John, to be frank) being framed as responding "irrationally" to the other – and here "irrationally" seems to be equated with "in love" in a strangely direct way.

Is it really that unreasonable for Paul to be distraught at so much changing about how his best friend is interacting with him and the people around him (on top of all the other shit currently happening around him)? Sometimes I feel like people are being willfully obtuse by framing these changes as "John just brought his girlfriend to the studio why does Paul care??"

And while I have a harder time defending John's actions as "measured", per se, I don't for one second believe that every single one of them were solely motivated by capital L Love. He was a vulnerable man struggling with severe mental illness, who was often acting in ways he felt would lessen his suffering, which had many origins, not only Paul not reciprocating or committing enough to him or what have you.

There's also this pattern where the fact they didn't always treat Cyn/Jane well is somehow evidence of their feelings for each other rather than a reflection of their own shortcomings as partners (to put it very nicely).

So yeah, I think my point is, while I understand theorizing about these men, I think it's odd how much people will flatten a convoluted tragic sequence of events to make it fit more neatly into a preconceived narrative.

#woof #fiona.docx #jp speculation #my analysis #paul #john #discourse

[actually-eldritch]

She's holding him on a leash in public, the leash is attached to a collar around his neck but the scene isn't sexual. Whether or not they are getting gratification from this is simply not visible; they don't appear to be revelling in attention—the morality of such aside—they are visibly doing their own thing.

In the comments of a post someone pipes up a highly anticipated response. “People in public didn't consent to your scene! ...” and continues with its inane repetition of puritan propaganda translated in to therapyspeak.

“Nobody consented to seeing your comment, and yet here you are.” says another.

I want to answer, but the comment is years old; at this point it's better to fall on nebulous ears rather than to be shot at any particular target.

So I'd say,

Do you also believe people wearing cat ears and tails are preforming public sex acts because they (people wearing tails and ears) are akin to furries and—god forbid—some of them get off to it? Choose carefully now; children of their own accord and volition wear these things, and mascots are widely deemed family friendly.

Did you know suit fetishes are a thing? Well they are, and I know many people that have them. Does this fact make suits sexual too now? Is a professional conference a sex act to you because of this? And, if it's not, why is this different to you?

Can you not comprehend the idea that something can be inherently neutral and it's our approach and our feelings that paint the tone of their usage in any given circumstance? Is it totally beyond you that people can fill their glass with a variety of feelings and reactions for a variety of reasons and that they don't owe it to you to beam it in your head instantly and telepathically nor to hide from society all because Joe Random might get a bit squicked and call—however ineffectively—to summon a mob?

You might think me obtuse but sincerely, where do you draw the line. Perhaps he needs domineering to be alright; any sexual association if present could have come after that need, to deal with the vicious self-loathing that came with being a grown ass man with socially unacceptable needs. Or maybe it started as a sexual thing because his subconscious couldn't convince him to allow himself what he needed if he didn't feel like he simply wanted it. Or maybe it's totally nonsexual. Or maybe it's more complicated.

Or maybe it doesn't matter and you should mind your godamned business, if only because what you have been taught or lead to believe or otherwise convinced yourself was an inherently sexual act does not actually involve any of the direct acts that constitute sex inherently.

And in allowing yourself to believe otherwise you justify to yourself adding your power to the reinforcement of the censorship of human beings existing as they are.

And in doing so you forget yourself, you forget the rainbow flag in your icon and it's history. You forget the fight queers have fought and continue to fight to not have our existence viewed as inherently sexual as a means to scrub us out of public spaces.

We're QUEER because we're WEIRD. To say “We're HERE and we're QUEER” is to say our existence is WEIRD TO YOU but YOU'VE JUST GOTTA DEAL WITH IT.

You cannot simply sweep away “degenerates of society”, and you sound no different to me than the guy that openly states that and, if anything, you're less self-aware—and that's more dangerous because you'll share your beliefs with people as though your words come from a place of concern rather than reactive disgust you're failing to control.

So I'll humble you with a reminder that if you feel comfortable assigning non-sexual things as sexual purely because you know that sometimes or even usually it is involved in sex, that this will arguably be true of your interests too no matter how ""clean"" they seem to you. Someonelse could argue that you're a public sex freak for simply being who you are, and you contribute to this issue by helping spread this ideology.

Because it's also not that different from the arguements that make me feel violently uncomfortable being crippled in public either; I see how people react. Do you think they should be able to remove me too, just because I make them a little uncomfortable?

Try thinking for yourself for a change; start by asking yourself why these words are really leaving your mouth and where they came from. Is this really who you want to be?

[ichinoue]

You know what I just read? It was so funny, an Anti-Ichiruki said that Renji forced Ichigo to date Orihime hahaha and that Kubo said they started dating in college is even more reason to believe that Ichigo was forced hahahaha IR's are getting more and more creative in their fake theories why IH was forced when in reality we have everything we need in the manga for our ship

I'm guessing you meant an anti-ichihime fan hahah but yes, a lot of times with arguments like this, I just feel like they're being deliberately, willfully obtuse. And for what? Like, it would honestly be so much less embarrassing to just admit that you were wrong about the ships in a shounen series, than to come up with some far-fetched, backwards ass interpretation like this lol.

Especially because that scene was so straightforward? Ichigo is shown to be nervous about approaching Orihime because he was pining for her and harbouring feelings and Renji recognized that, of course, because once upon a time HE was in the same situation with Rukia, and so he tells Ichigo "isn't it about time you made things clear, too?" i.e. I made my feelings clear and literally just married the girl I was always harbouring feelings for (Rukia), and now it's time for YOU to do the same with the girl you were always harbouring feelings for (Orihime). Which prompts Ichigo to say, "Don’t act so patronisingly​ all of a sudden! And anyway, you were so slow it took you many decades yourself.” i.e. "you're one to talk! It took you forever to confess, too."

There's a direct comparison being drawn between them here--that they both spent years hiding their feelings for their future wives. That is made crystal clear.

And given how dense and awkward Ichigo always was when it came to romance, this scene was a cute way of having one of Ichigo's friends, who was once in a similar situation, give him a helpful nudge in the right direction, while also making it clear that Ichigo had had feelings for Orihime for a long time and was already in love with her by the time of the novel (which was emphasized even further by Renji's literal accusation of "you're in love with her, right?" which made Ichigo even more flustered and nervous).

That's followed by this: "Renji looked at Ichigo and gave him a firm thumbs up as if to say ‘good luck’." He could tell just how nervous Ichigo was and was giving him a vote of confidence. There was no "forcing" here.

And as if that weren't enough, here's some more excerpts demonstrating Ichigo's nerves:

1) “Don’t you think you should make things clear soon too?” said Renji.

“Huh?” Ichigo said, tilting his head in puzzlement.

“Don’t play dumb……I’m talking about Inoue.”

“Whaa……!?”

Although he knew she wasn’t close enough to hear them, Ichigo reflexively looked for Orihime’s reaction.

2) “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“……That is……!”

At Renji’s blunt manner of speaking, Ichigo tried to force his words words out one by one.

“Don’t keep such a nice girl waiting​ too long.”

”……I understand that" he said responding with a voice that seemed to disappear.

3) Orihime looks up at him in a questioning manner.

“I’m too bad at expressing my mind!” Ichigo thought, feeling like he wanted to tear his hair out.

“Kuchiki san was so pretty huh……” Orihime whispered keenly whilst completely unaware of what was truly on Ichigo’s mind.

4) Ichigo takes a very deep breath.

“Hey, Inoue”

Standing still, he looked at Orihime.

“What is it?”

Tilting her head to the side, Orihime looked up at Ichigo.

“There's……something I’d like to talk to you about, so next time, do you think you could you make some time for me?”

Translation credit here.

It's so blatantly obvious that he was nervous about approaching her because he was in love with her but didn't know how to express his feelings, and no amount of bad reading comprehension can dodge around that. Honestly, a 10 year old could figure this out. He's anxious as hell, but he works up the courage, takes a deep breath and goes for it. If he were being forced, or if this were something he wasn't actually putting his heart and feelings into, there would be no reason for those nerves and anxiety.

Then you have Kubo's quote about the novel ending in the WDKALY postscripts: “She executed it beautifully. It brought tears to my eyes. I’m sure that people who love Ichigo and Rukia like me, will also cry.”

So, according to antis' logic, Kubo and actual fans of Ichigo should cry tears of joy...even though Ichigo was supposedly forced into a marriage with a girl he didn't love? Honestly now. Does that make any sense? (Side note: the fact that they think Renji would or could ever "force" Ichigo to do something like that, is hilarious).

If someone can read that entire scene and be left with the impression that Ichigo was "forced" to ask out the girl he was nervously sweating bullets over as he watched her from afar, then they either have appallingly bad reading comprehension, or, like I said, they're being willfully obtuse for the sake of making an argument. Like an obstinate child that doesn't want to admit when they're wrong lol.

#IchiHime #anti ichiruki

[angryteapott-archive]

Reading a lot of takes on Not Me: the Dan Reveal and TLDR I think the feeling that Gram downplayed Sean's emotions might stem from the writers dowplaying Sean's emotional arc, and dismissing that because you like Gram's lines seems a bit obtuse.

First, just wanted to point out that Dan, despite being a teary-eyed little sex kitten, did very much shoot and kill an unarmed man. He remained a police officer after and didn't seek real punishment through the justice system. Yok, an apparent antiestablishment activist, found that out and didn't have much of a reaction until he found out the victim was his friend's dad, and then responded that it wouldn't do anyone any good to share the truth. These are framed as major conflicts for their characters, with lots of screentime and dramatic music. Sean reacts by asking Dan to off himself (very mildly? Less emotion then when he found out Gumpa knew about white 💀). Yok then admits he knew about this and didn't tell his longtime friend. Now I'm trying to say something narratively but also just gut reaction: it's rational to not trust Dan based on this. A cop is very different then a cop who killed someone unarmed and didn't seek real legal consequences, protest NFTs or nah.

Storywise, Sean's core conflict/motivation is his father's death. It consumes a lot of the emotional bonding scenes with him and White, and there's scene after scene of him struggling with whether he even has anything to live for other then revenge. All this comes to a head when he finds out about Dan and Yok. Then Gram, someone he's never portrayed as particularly close with, talks him down after a few lines about the nature of justice. Cut scene. Next time we see these characters Sean and Yok have no emotional tension between them and continue to act as best friends. Now, just to clarify, Gram's dialogue in isolation isn't that bad. It's what surrounds it that makes it seem out of whack.

Even if the conflict itself had been better directed (never seen a man tell a another man to kill himself with such chill 😭😭), even if you buy Sean has grown from White's influence enough to not seek violence, a "life for a life" not being justice doesn't equate to being completely cool with your father's killer. Where's Sean demanding Dan publicly put his reputation on the line to tell the truth, or at least QUIT BEING A COP? Where's the sense of betrayal and discomfort with Yok, who wanted to sweep this under the rug? Why doesn't Sean continue to struggle with the decision to let Dan live? Where's the conflict? Narratively, all of these threads got snipped so fast and with so little fallout it's like they were never there at all, undermining the tension that's been built and the premise of each character. It feels like these traumas existed just to bond our Cute Couples during romance scenes.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Who cares! It's a bad scene, and it's such a bad scene it ruins what came before.

#not me the series #sorry this is long and i know no one cares!! #but my blog my rules #not me #meta

[nightswithkookmin]

Goldy I never thought I would reach out to any Jikook blog but after your last post I have to. I am an east asian american and trans. I have never spoken on this issue, commented or posted about this. I am a Jikook supporter but sometimes Jikook supporting blogs don't feel like the friendliest place. I want to thank you for changing my opinion on that. It is an insult to BTS to say Jikook don't know they seem gay or that they don't know what gay looks like. It is an insult to fans like me to say it would be OK to do the things they do if they were cisgendered straight men. I personally saw a few people say or dance around this and they got intimidated by big blogs for it. I would never name names because I beleive in free speech and the right of people to express themselves, as long as it isn't hate speech. Supporting lgbt people and making sure they don't feel endangered is MORE IMPORTANT THAN STANNING A KPOP BAND and I say this as a 4 year long bts and Jikook stan. So many people don't want to touch this issue and I understand why.

But thank you for supporting ACTUAL lgbt people as well as bts and showing stubborn people that BTS mean gay rights when they say gay rights.

I don't know why but this Ask made me cry...

I've been reading it over and over for the past two days and each time I feel humbled by it. Thanks so much for sharing this with me.

I think the era of the obsessed 'kids' and '13 year old shippers' in this space is coming to an end. I think it's time for a more nuanced mature conversation on what it means to ship and stan our faves in today's sociopolitical climate.

Let's intellectualize shipping and use it as a vehicle for social change not just pleasure. Sabotaging political hashtags is a start. Trending and donating to BLM is equally important. Fighting for gay rights and recognition is the next step and a natural progression from here- and about damn time!

Gone are the days where celebrities and idols were immune to accountability and personal responsibility. We live in a world where everyone is required to be converstant in and sensitive to social issues. Awareness is woven into our collective consciousness and for some of us we cannot divorce that from our pleasure receptors.

Hate to quote my pastor but, 'As a kid, I spoke, thought and reasoned like a kid. As I grew up, chilee darling, I put my ghetto ways aside. You feel me?' Lol. Yea, my pastor hood like that. Lol.

The fact of the matter is, BTS has a higher mature demographics now. Majority of us grew with them, if not past them. They are not seventeen anymore, Jin is almost thirty, the youngest in the group is past twenty three and majority of their fanbase are breaching Young Adult well into Adulthood and beyond.

We simply cannot view them with the same lens anymore. If we did, we would be infantilizing them if not enabling them.

We ought to be able to have certain conversations that reflect our age, hearts, backgrounds, experience, values and beliefs.

We can't sit behind our television sets and smart phone screens in this day and age and assume BTS sat through a performance like this and did not for a second think about what it meant, why the crowd cheered at certain moments or even understand the impact, message and intent behind it- especially not when Halsey, an openly bisexual woman and advocate for LGBTG rights is an acquaintance of thiers.

I don't know how a fraction of this fandom can assume BTS would have a collaboration of this nature and not know anything about the gay rights discourse or what queer baiting is or not consider how their actions may or may not be contributing to the marginalization of persons as these- to not have agency and personal responsibility or empathy.

JK cannot stan a gay artist such as Troye Sivan and divorce his music from his sexuality because it flows from it. Not when Troye has openly spoken about the struggles he went through as a closeted gay man, coming out and how that affected his mental health.

JK knows what gay is, he is aware of the struggles queer people face on a daily. His decision to cover, license and recommend songs by this artist is a deliberate act coming from a place of being informed on the matter.

Jimin knows. RM knows. Suga knows.

BTS cannot prepare a speech like this while oblivious to the plight of the LGBTQ plus community. I refuse to believe that simply because it's not true. Anyone who says otherwise is a scammer. Lol.

And I think they are intelligent enough to have cognisance of the fact majority of the world view certain aspects of their home culture as problematic and non-progressive and that this same world is watching them and what they do in this space matters.

They are part of the conversation. And it's in their interest to present themselves as queer a queer friendly band and company by distinctifying themselves from these 'traditional' Kpop bands.

I believe they know that being woke gives them a competitive advantage as MCs and advocates for the youth in today's world.

I believe they are aware certain things in their 'fan service culture' doesn't fly in the space they compete in and want to compete in. They are competing and rubbing shoulders with top LGBTQ plus advocates, sharing seats with them at awards, standing next to them- they best to look sharp.

It's obtuse for anyone to fall on the 'culture' rhetoric to excuse certain behaviors of their idols when actual queer people from and within that same culture fight against it.

Most S. koreans I know and have come across complain about their 'culture' and some even harbor strong resentments against this whole fanservice culture.

Holland, an openly gay Idol from South Korea, has equally spoken out against the 'fan service' culture prevalent within Kpop on several occasions and laments how it depoliticizes queerness and affects actual queer people within S.K.

And isn't it funny that the same conservative Christian population who strongly oppose homosexuality in S.K often lead online campaigns against Jikook for 'promoting homosexuality' because of certain fanservice and skinship they do?

If skinship is normal and fanservice is culture, why does conservative S.K keep pushing back against it? It's their culture uno?! Lmho.

Queer south Koreans and conservative Christians hate fanservice culture and yet here we are using their culture to defend it as if it's all black and white. Lmho.

Did they or did they not see South Korean's reactions to this performance by Jikook? The mixed feelings most had about it?

Men can nibble on men's ear but God forbid they toss them in the air and catch em💀

South Koreans are not a monolith. Their culture is nuanced like any culture. It's not static and not clear cut black and white either.

It's one thing to respect other's culture, it's another to perpetuate it in ignorance. Perpetuating their culture and being religious about it does not allow for the dynamism inherent in their culture.

Troye Sivan talked about how he'd stop in the middle of his concerts and performances upon seeing the hyper fangirls in the front row and then think to himself, 'I know they know I'm gay, so why are they still here...'

And this was before he came out.

Jikook know we know they are queer or that we think of them as queer. When Jimin talks about 'those that love me for me' he knows exactly what he is talking about or rather who he is talking to- it's not these hets I'm afraid.

Troye also talked about being privileged because he lived in a rather queer friendly neighborhood where everyone is gay and so he'd always felt safe coming out.

Isn't that what JK is doing?

Now this is a person who's without a doubt had a lot of influence on JK in his early formative years as an Idol right down to his decision to move into a much queer friendly neighborhood of Itaewon.

They know we know. Jikook is gay.

Thankfully, there are reports of a rising number of LGBTQ plus in South Korea, a lot of allies, a lot of queer folks coming out and a lot of companies opening up to working with gay idols and aspiring idols.

It's such a relief but a lot of work still needs to be done and I stand with them on behalf of Jikook and any queer folk in SK.

My sister is helping me reach out to an LGBTQ plus advocate from Seoul for an interview for my blog. If everything goes well, I'd love for her to share her thoughts on queer passing, queer baiting and fan service within Kpop and how that affects LGBTQ youth in South K.

It's a conversation I'm really passionate about and interested in.

I love me some ships, but I also love me some queer advocacy and human rights uno? Lol.

Thing is, I may quit BTS one day, but I can never quit being me. Being human. Always put the human first is my motto.

Oh and I hear people are plotting to cancel me? Chilee. Y'all do that but:

Let it echo.

Signed,

GOLDY

[greekowl87]

Really, this isn't an ask. It is a demand. A demand for the sex failure fic from my headcanon. While I take months and/or years to work on my fic, I expect better from everyone else. 😉

@90saolchatroom Trying to finish this drove me crazy and I hope I did it justice. I really, really hope you like it. :) I’d imagine this taking place during “Little Green Men” since some of the lines are from the ep. Sorry for any typos. Tagging @today-in-fic

Mulder and Scully were no longer partners. The higher ups made that perfectly clear.

It had been an odd dance during their brief partnership. She did not know who was leading who. The more she worked with him, Mulder left her feeling odd. There was something she could not quite name. He was obnoxious and endearing at the same time. He valued her opinion, treated her equally…called her Scully when everyone else called her Dana. By the time they shut down the basement office, they found themselves separated and isolated again. In Quantico, her only company was lab reports and the dead. She began to worry about her former partner. Was he okay? Why wouldn’t he reach out to her? When she saw him walking in the hallways and he didn’t reach out, she became worried. Had she become that invisible?

One thing she had learned from him was the cloak and dagger routine. That was how she finally got him to contact her beneath the hotel parking garage by the Watergate. He looked like he had not slept in days and her heartstrings pulled for her former partner. Mulder looked wildly at her and more desperate. She stilled him, catching his hand, as he tried to pace restlessly back and forth.

Mulder sighed. “It’s dangerous for us just to have a little chat, Scully. We must assume we’re being watched.”

“Mulder, I haven’t seen any indication…”

He shook his head. “No, no, of course not. These people are the best.”

What did she have to do to reach out to him? To connect with him. “I’ve taken all of the necessary precautions. I have doubled back over my tracks to make sure that I haven’t been followed and no one has ever followed me. The X-Files have been terminated, Mulder. We have been reassigned. I mean, what makes you think they care about us anymore anyway?”

“So why have you bothered to come here covertly?”

Really? Was he really that obtuse? “Because I realized that it was the only way that you would see me.”

He stared at her as if she had spoken some foreign language and gazed at her as if unsure of what to do. “So what do you want?”

“To know that you’re all right. Mulder, you passed me today within a foot, but you were miles away.”

He gave a hollow laugh.“They’ve got me on electronic surveillance. White-bread cases, bank fraud, insurance fraud, health care swindles.”

“Mulder, I know that you feel… frustrated that without the bureau’s resources, it’s impossible for you to continue…”

“No, it…”

“Well, what then? When the bureau first shut us down, you said that you would go on for as long as the truth was out there. But I no longer feel that from you.”

“What should you feel then, Scully?”

“I don’t know, Mulder. Something. Anything. You believe I am still a spy sent to debunk your work?”

“No. I haven’t believed that since we got back from Bellefleur,” he told her. He squatted against the wall in defeat. “You aren’t a spy.”

She felt that snap of electricity again since she first realized what it was on the way back from back to Bellefleur. Tentatively, she reached out and touched his forearm. The touch went unnoticed and feeling still annoyed about him ignoring her earlier that day, she squeezed his forearm, instantly drawing his attention. As if sensing the shift in the parking garage, he licked his lips as if trying to form a word.

“Stop acting like you are all by yourself on this, Mulder.”

“I feel like a fool, Scully. Crazy Spooky Mulder screaming at the sky with no one listening.”

Scully sat back on her heels and took his hand. “Let’s go somewhere tonight. You come with me and we have fun. You look like you could use a drink.”

“I don’t want a drink, Scully. I don’t want to do anything…”

“One drink won’t kill you.”

She dragged him to his feet. “And you can tell me more about how you enjoy screaming at the sky…”

Mulder let her drag him to his feet like a broken toy and she wrapped her arm around his waist and he looked at her surprised at the gesture. “Sorry,” she whispered. Her cheeks were flushed.

He eyes looked at her tenderly and he wiped a stray lock from her cheek. “It’s fine.”

Reluctantly and almost awkwardly, she let her arm drop. “Besides, if they were watching us now,” she continued, trying to justify her excuse to go out, “a dive bar will be the last place they would think of.”

“It’s okay, Scully. I agreed.” He was quiet as they walked. They exited out of the parking garage and onto the streets of D.C. They walked together in silence, closely as if personal space had no meaning, and into one of D.C.’s less reputable bars. “It is nice to see you as well, Scully,” he added as an afterthought.

She gave a weak smile in response.

They navigated to a booth in the back of the room. A cocktail waitress took their order and brought two Shiner Bocks. Mulder shed his trenchcoat and pulled loose his tie. Scully took off her own jacket and sat stiffly on the leather bench. He stretched and threw his arms on the back of the booth, his left hand precariously close to her shoulder. She could feel the tips of his fingers grazing the edge of her jacket. The physical closeness still unnerved her but Scully had grown used to it, however, tonight felt different.

“Even though we have both established I am not a spy and the office is shut down doesn’t mean you have to go live in exile, Mulder.” She sipped her beer tentatively. “You still have a friend.”

“That’s touching, Scully,” he scoffed. “Where did they send after they shut me down?”

“I think you mean us, Mulder,” she mumbled. She cleared her throat. “Back to Quantico.”

“Back to Quantico,” he repeated. “And where did they send me?”

Scully remained quiet. She knew they stuck him in a new hole to transcribe countless hours of audio tape as punishment. No one wanted anything to do with Spooky Mulder except her. “Well,” she started, trying to break the tension, “at least you are saving on rent.”

Mulder narrowed his eyes and she swallowed another swig of beer, uncertain of his reaction before he chuckled and rolled his eyes. She saw the tension and stress from the past few days washed away as he slouched further back in the booth. “I don’t know, Scully. I still miss the cattle mutilation slides.” He licked his lips as his hazel eyes flicked over her. “And the company.”

“I agree with the company. I could do without the cattle slides. I do miss whatever it is we do when we talk.”

“Verbal sparring?”

“Something like that. It’s good to see you, Mulder.”

“You too, Scully.”

“I could say the same.”

Hours crawled slowly by but to Mulder and Scully, aided by the beers, time seemed to fly. By then, Mulder’s arm had found itself around her shoulders and she noticed how comfortable she was sitting beside him, barely touching. Scully hiccupped and looked at her watch. “I…I should get going.”

“You are in no mood to drive tonight,” he declared.

“Mulder, I don’t need a chivalrous knight. I need a taxi. And a hot bath.”

“Just make me feel better. Come and spend a few hours at my apartment and sleep it off. Then you can get a taxi. I’ll even leave you money.”

She smiled indulgently, her fingers crawling up his arm flirtatiously. “What happened to they’re watching us? Electronic surveillance, Mulder.”

Mulder suddenly felt braver and smiled. “Must be all the cloak and dagger you started earlier tonight. Maybe you are a spy. Come on, Scully. Amuse me. We can even play truth or dare if you want.”

“No, Mulder.” She sighed and saw the pouting lips. How could she say no to that face? “Fine, but just for a few hours.”

He put a couple of 20 dollar bills on the table and the two former FBI agents left and disappeared into the night. She laughed at something he said. Mulder let his fingers lightly graze hers and to his utter surprise, she took it. Something was changing between them. As they arrived at his apartment, she shed her coat and sat on his worn leather couch. He followed behind her, taking off his suit jacket as well, and collapsed on the couch next to her.

Scully could feel the intensity of Mulder’s gaze to the point she started to blush. “What?”

He bent forward and pushed away a stray lock of red hair and kissed her neck slowly. She stiffened and he rubbed her thigh gently in an effort to get her to relax.

“Mulder, what are you doing?”

“Hm. Checking in on you. Returning the favor.”

Her body was betraying her as she felt something began to awaken. Despite the tension she felt, she did began to relax and focus on the Mulder’s soft lips. “Mulder, we shouldn’t…”

His kissing grew more insistent as she felt her own body take control and her brain and heart become spectators in what was happening. He leaned heavily against her so that she had to lay down onto the couch to accommodate him. His hands began to unbutton her suit jacket and blouse. His rough fingertips felt the soft fabric of her bra and she drew in a sharp breath.

“Scully, you smell divine,” he murmured.

“Mulder,” she tried again.

He kissed her deeply, silencing any protests that she may have. Again, her body had forsaken her as she ran her fingers through Mulder’s hair and deepened the kiss. What was it about him? She knew that the electricity and chemistry between them had existed but she never thought it could lead to this point. For as second, she panicked and worried about Bureau protocol and any implications it could have.

“Who is gonna care,” he murmured. He tenderly kissed on the breast while his free hand palmed the other. “We don’t work together anymore.”

As she helped him get rid of her blouse, her own hands began to pull at his own dress shirt as her brain began to reply what he had just said. Who is gonna care, he had taunted, We don’t work together anymore. Taunted? Mulder didn’t taunt. He would not consider her some one night stand. If he was proceeding this, with her consent, it meant some more. Or did it? Her mind had blacked out for a second because the next thing she knew was that he was desperately tearing at a condom wrapper with his teeth in a rushed effort to tear it off and here she was, half naked on his leather couch about to get it. She should be happy. Joyous even because she had heard the rumors and how attractive the vast majority of female agents and sectaries found Mulder.

“Scully,” he breathed with the foil between his teeth, “a little help? Lift your hips.”

A ringing telephone interrupted them as both stared quietly as it went to the answering machine. “Mmmm…Marty, it’s Veronica,” a sultry voice crackled against the heavy air. “It’s been awhile. I miss you and uh, our lovely chats at little green men…”

Mulder reached up and ripped the phone off the hook and stared at Scully. “Scully, it’s not what you think.”

At this point, her mind having finally caught up with her body, she buttoned her blouse and began to gather her things. “It’s none of my business, Mulder,” she said slowly, lowering her gaze, “with what you do with your, uh, spare time.”

“Scully.” Her lowered gaze made him suddenly feel like an ass. What the hell had he been thinking? “Sure. Fine. Whatever. Be that way.”

“It’s clear we are probably meant to be just…”

“Work acquaintances,” he fished. “Got it.”

“No. No, Mulder. Friends. Maybe. One day.”

“We are…” He groaned in frustration. “We are friends, Scully. We are…”

“Just friends. I get it, Mulder. I get it.” She took a deep breath and gathered her trench coat. “Just the type of friends that hang out for a beer maybe or call on if you need an autopsy or follow on wild goose chases. I get it. I’m there if you need something. My mistake.”

“Scully, let me explain. Veronica, she…I have never even met her in person!”

She shook her head, already embarrassed enough. It was clear this would have been nothing than a one night stand between them. “Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay? We can still be work friends or whatever. Don’t be a stranger, Mulder.”

“Are you that blind? Scully, this is a misunderstanding!”

“Good night, Mulder.”

She gathered her jacket and slipped out the apartment door and into the night, vowing if what had just happened had not destroyed their relationship, she would still try to salvage any semblance of a partnership by pretending this night never happened. If he wanted a friend, she would be his friend and chase him to whatever he went because that is what she would do for her friends.

#xfiles #xf fic #txf #txf fic #early msr #sort of #msr fic #angst #failed sex #prompt #mulder and scully #mulder #scully #i hope this is okay