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#like please stop and just leave me alone
jedi-bird · 1 year
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So because I'm on antidepressants now I'm apparently not allowed to have any bad days. Like, not sure how to explain that that's not how it works and that ignoring me and refusing to speak to me isn't going to help.
#vent post#personal#I'm just fucking tired today and need a distraction because yesterday sucked#i just wanted to go to a bookstore or a garden center for my birthday and instead i had to sit in silence while my partner played games#for literally the entire day while not speaking to me because they were concentrating#and half the time they wanted the lights off because the gets dark at times and they refuse to adjust the settings#so i couldn't even crochet or read without leaving the room which just made them whine about it later#and i know i don't expect anything anymore for my birthday but being ignored by the one person who promised to never do so hurts#it's like being a kid again and getting told that you're not important and that everyone else gets to dictate what you do on your day#when everyone else got treated like royalty on theirs#i sit at home all day every day with no one to talk to so it's not much to want to have some kind of interaction#and yeah I'm literally complaining about nothing but it hurts so much sometimes to be reminded that I'm not really worth much#i did get some presents and one way really nice#but to immediately after just be left alone and forgotten kind of makes me wish they had just actually forgotten#to top it off the night ended with my estranged family trying to text a different family member about how they forgot again to send a card#immediately followed by oops you weren't supposed to see that because we love and care about you#like please stop and just leave me alone#i don't want anything from you guys ever again because you expect too much in return#and i remember the shit you used to say about and to me and the blame you laid on me#just stop pretending like you care and leave me alone#so today is just hard for stupid reasons and i don't really have a reason for being super depressed but i am#and getting mad that I'm crying isn't going to help#i need a distraction and can't have one and just can't cope#might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't
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andoutofharm · 11 months
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i have a special kind of annoyance for people who say fall out boy (or any band!) look “sad” or “bored” because they’re standing still while playing or have a serious expression like. just say you know nothing about them and also have zero respect for neurodivergent people and/or people who’ve had surgeries that restrict their movement and go
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xxinkyshadowxx · 5 months
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Little reminder for the people who forgot Kieran is 14 years old FOURTEEN meaning that any suggestive content of him automatically makes the poster of it weird as fuck ESPECIALLY if they are an adult but even if they are a minor posting suggestive stuff of a fourteen year old is still super weird so maybe don't do that
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"god I hate people who draw falsettos marvin this way" "fuck people who draw whizzer like that'"
*edited*
...guys, do you know what an art style is???? cuz', this seems pointed. I see what you mean. I completely agree.
But hear me out. Along with these posts, could we consider? Maybe? Some constructive criticism? People should draw them more accurate.
They SHOULD.
But how should they do it? Realism art? It's a foreign concept to me. I try and it absolutely fucking sucks and i'd love to be a part of this fandom showing that the characters are real people but
It's kind of
Just
Very "do this. No other explanation. Change it."
Look, I really want to. And I am trying. But could we like, make a space for teaching people? Cuz I am stumped dude like fr. Need some guidance.
sincerely, a tired lesbian who is infinitely more tired of seeing this everywhere. thanks
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wikitpowers · 4 months
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it is offically day 384759438292093824 of thinking about these teasers and trying not to fall apart
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side note: i am failing miserably and i’m not okay in the slightest [audible sobbing in the background]
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incorrectsibunaquotes · 2 months
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tumblr glitched and spared you all the most heated rant of my entire hoa fandom tenure
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monstrsball · 9 months
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oikawa making a dramatic love declaration in the rain because he's a romantic. suga can't help but laugh but he's blushing too and he invites oikawa into his apartment and shares his umbrella with him for the rest of the walk. and he gives oikawa a towel and some dry clothes. and he still hasn't actually responded to oikawa's confession and oikawa is getting nervous but then suga says that of course he likes him back. and they make plans to go on an actual date soon.
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wowifinallywatched · 5 months
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Hoffman's really out here showing us his secret Pa-Strahm-i recipe
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2econd2ight2ydney · 1 month
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“oh you’re unlabeled and just like who you like? so you’re just pansexual” when did I fucking say I was pansexual
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the deweys photos are from this video: https://youtu.be/5xTwJho44ao?si=bPw8MZZ327lCogVZ aren’t they just everything
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kissing you and the minnesota wild official media team (with consent) full on the mouth, THANK YOU THIS VIDEO IS EVERYTHING 🥰🥰 i have seen pieces of it before i think (connor petting a shark 🥹) but the entire video start to finish is such a delight, 10/10 would recommend
#i’m so glad i saw this now and not when i was deranged at 2AM last night (i say as if i am not currently deranged)#like i had to physically pause. stop watching the video. to take notes to tell you guys about it i hope you know#holyjost thank u i love u i appreciate u & how u always have the sources 😭#i send out a prayer to the universe (put shit in the tags) & u provide#liv in the replies#holyjost#i love this reaction image btw it is one of my FAVORITES#anyway i was just chilling and then lost it at the ‘brandon just says shit’ part and had to start writing down notes (as follows)#there is SO much. the lore. the fact that brandon lasts two seconds before his shirt comes off everyone else is so bundled#dewey2 immediate “sharks” girl help the two of them on the bean bag together#the boat competition BOLDY’S CONTRACT??? yeah i AM thinking about that in a weird way what kind of contract brandon#also boldy motion sickness girlie he’s so real for that one 😭😭#and brandon talking a big game and then like fuckin. curled into a ball on the beanbag passed out bro i cannot.#LD BONITA? LD BONITA FISH??? So excitedly???? my GOD.#LEAVE THAT POOR FISH ALONE!!!!#oh the shark lore 🥺 dewey baby let me take you to this fantastic thing called an aquarium.#you can pet sharks there!!! i can’t even. i know i’ve seen it and had a breakdown about it before but connor’s hand when he pets the shark#the absolute joy oh my god. connor PLEASE ik u want to touch all the fish… we have sturgeon & sting rays & jellies#brandon praising connor’s attitude 🫡 he is so goal oriented they said the goal is a vibe check and connor studied.#also. save me hot brothers save me#what the fuck is this yeti cup ritual give me a cult au NOW wkdndiwkdi they’re such freaks. i love it. also just drink it bro#VLADDY MENTION THAT’S MY BOY HI BEAUTIFULLLLL#OH THIS WAS THE MIDDSY FIGHT???#awww Freddy (who i never think is a forward??)#connor dewar#brandon duhaime#minnesota wild#for reference!
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night-city-netrunner · 4 months
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Y'all know what time it is, Neo is gonna stir the pot a little bit (again lol).
So, Bad Omens fans, what the absolute fuck is wrong with you? No, seriously. What the actual fuck is your problem?
You have a band that plays incredible music, and instead of being normal about that, and appreciating THE MUSIC, you sexualize the fuck out of Noah until he's uncomfortable and is asking to stop?
Then, when V.A.N comes out, you spew vitrol because Noah isn't the one singing. You hate on Poppy, who is so fucking talented, and act so entitled to Noah's voice, like it's your property. Disgusting.
Then, to top it off, when they play live, and NOAH COVERS HIS FACE (hmm, I wonder why he did that, its a fucking mystery!) Y'all turn around and CONTINUE to sexualize him, despite his obvious and vocal discomfort.
Let me get this super clear. You do not own him! He is not your property, and you are not entitled to his face, or his voice, or this band's music. You are going to make this poor man quit because you act like horny children. Stop it. It's disgusting and shallow, and I am tired of seeing it.
Learn how to spot and dismantle your parasocial relationships, or we ARE going to lose this band, and it will be your fault. The same shit is happening with Sleep Token, and I don't want to lose something important to me because y'all don't know how to fucking act like adults.
To the Bad Omens fans who are normal, reasonable people; Hey, thanks for making being part of the fanbase tolerable! You are becoming a rarity, and I deeply appreciate you for behaving like rational people.
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tamaharu · 6 months
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ten telling rose that jack was "busy rebuilding the earth" is sick and twisted ill give him a slight pass because he told her that while in the throes of a bad regeneration but you knowwww she asked to go find him immediately after the christmas invasion and ten just shot her this look of indescribable, unfamiliar empty darkness, then looked away and told her they cant. jacks too busy. hey, what do you think about new earth? new new earth! get a little past the great and bountiful human empire, see how it all turns out, safe and sound after they fixed it! and normally rose would try and get a real answer out of him, but she doesnt recognize that awful look on his face. she doesnt recognize the easy way he moves on. and it terrifies her. she just spent a whole adventure doubting him, and he terrifies her, and she needs to get over it. so she does. and so she doesnt ask about jack again.
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vellichorom · 18 hours
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You absolutely don't deserve it with the mischaracterization. :(
All the ocs you make are so wonderful and full of personality. I'm so sorry they get reduced down to single traits or made fun of.
I personally love checking in with your blog seeing your ocs.
They may not be my absolutely favorite ocs of all time. But I can still tell the thought you put into them!!
Keep drawing them if they make you happy!
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huuu hweeb..... thank youou........ that genuinely means a lot to hear,
i feel very bashful referring to thierry AS an OC ( although let's face it, he's Pretty Much my OC by this point or very easily could be ) but GOD. it's like...
as i began to rise in popularity, i noticed a very Significant escalation in my narrator being used as the butt of numerous jokes; painted as this slobbish pig, horrible person nobody can stand to be around be it for attitude or " smell " & just get treated TERRIBLY. numerous asks getting sent to me asking if he bathes or describing him as someone who doesn't, numerous other jokes painting him as this homely bum or incompetent-
fucking sad-ist themselves referring to thierry as homeless-lookinh at least twice to my face,
getting kicked around by people & characters in roleplay alike & just! so disrespected & reduced to jokes, mischaracterized to hell & back & having this be assumed as his canon. it's genuinely upsetting.
& it's like, yeah- this is the fandom that sees the narrator as ONLY a twink sexyman, i GUESS anything else that breaches the norm wouldn't be nearly as respected, but my god !!!!!! i seriously wonder if some people think i created thierry's design as a joke, to LOOK homely or unrespectable, to BE the punching bag for everyone else.
when in reality, i'm just sharing my perspective, made with love & dedication, with other people & it's getting shit on for reasons i'm not even sure about, & it makes ME feel terrible as a creator & feel bad about my interpretation. THANKFULLY, this isn't everyone & this perspective IS very well loved & i do appreciate that from everyone who's ever made that known - INCLUDING YOU ANON, it means SO much more than i can say & especially in these harder periods.
but it seems like now thierry's gotten this reputation AS a joke, AS lesser than the character he's supposed to be, so stuck to him as a character that it's hard for ME, the creator, to chase? even if it's been awhile since anyone's directly made a " huehue stinky " joke at me.
& it sounds so STUPID being mad about that when i type this out, but the reality is that people are taking unfunny stupid jokes & using that to characterize MY character rendition & impression of him & to see that is EXTREMELY DISCOURAGING.
this isn't even the first i've had to address the disrespect i face, this is just the first i've made it public on tumblr. i've had to say how much i hate this treatment at LEAST 3 times in private discord servers & continue to scream over people when they insist upon it otherwise. it's REALLY made me unhappy to be apart of this fandom in the latter half of my being here,
but. i'm not going to let that get me down forever, i know i won't.
just, you know? if there's anything to take from this? be nice about people's characters & make your jokes ( if so the creator allows ) but don't act like that's all the character is reduced to, & listen when a creator tells you stuff about them & don't reduce them down to whatever trait you think is funniest for the meme ???? just be respectful ?????
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hana-the-ghostieee · 8 months
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haii!! so um not sure what to post but like all i can think of right now is um the correlations between Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta and Elma so um here! have a list of the different ways Elma (the album) references the diary, letters and the album it responds to
(if i miss some let me know please)
and dearest mobile users i will spare you so have a cut
edit: so @just-nonsense-bungaku said some stuff in the replies (thank you so much!) and all the songs after 8/27 (or the Nautilus MV) were written by Elma when her anger lost steam and she started to process her grief. explaining why Ame to, Yuu, Kokoro and Amy sound so different from the style she used (or copied off of Amy) from pre-8/27
and another edit: @teamsavingmyles said some stuff in the rbs, thank you thank you thank you!!! i've been thinking about Yuunagi's references recently cuz i've been working on translating both albums but i never really got around to it so yeah thanks!
edit: i just changed the order of stuff because i forgot well. each song would be written on different days, so for example Koe wouldn't refer to Kokoro, more like Kokoro was inspired by Koe and Yuunagi's metaphor for a hole in the heart
1. 8/31 & 車窓 (Shasou/Train Window)
...they're instrumentals :P (seriously i find no connection)
2. 藍二乗 (Ai Nijou/Deep Indigo) & 憂一乗 (Yuu Ichijou/Only Sorrow)
the concept of i to the power of 2 (and however that relates to Amy's feelings about Elma)
also the first kanji of both titles sound like "i" and "you"
edit: so Ai's chorus' motif is about how blurred the world is, because of Amy's tears, while Yuu's chorus motif is how transparent the world feels to Elma, now that Amy's gone
edit: Yuu takes the phrase "I don't need anything" from Hachigatsu, but for a completely different reason. i think in Hachigatsu, Amy says he doesn't need anything to show his life will ends soon, so like what's the point of anything. in Yuu, Elma says she doesn't need anything besides Amy. she just wants to hear him sing, just one more time (or something)
i mean other than that there isn't much, they sound so different
(like seriously. Ai is like TADA. TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- and then Yuu makes suis sound like she's about to cry. dakede *sobbing*)
3. 八月、某、月明かり (Hachigatsu, Bou, Tsukiakari/August, A Certain Place, Moonlight) & 夕凪、某、花惑い (Yuunagi, Bou, Hana Madoi/Evening Calm, A Certain Place, Fireworks)
so first of all both seem to stem from one memory of watching fireworks in the summer (according to a summary of Letters and Diary i read some time ago)
edit: re-reading Diary and it was Memory 17
Yuunagi was the first song Elma wrote, which is why it sounds so similar to Hachigatsu (INTENSE electric guitar, softer at the verses, picks up at the chorus, drops again)
also unrelated note but Hachigatsu is by far the angriest song i can think of. at least by Yorushika
edit: one of the last lines of Yuunagi may be what inspired Kokoro, "In my heart, a hole opens"
Yuunagi also references Ai, in the line "this song has about ___ characters" and the phrase "drowning in flowers" is seen again in Ame to
4. 詩書とコーヒー (Shikaki to Koohii/Songwriting and Coffee) & 雨とカプチーノ (Ame to Kapuchiino/Rain and Cappucino)
...coffee
okay seriously though, both also sound somewhat similar to each other (but from here on out, Elma's developing her own style :DDD)
in both songs they do struggle to keep up with memories of each other, in Shikaki Amy states he forgets things like dreams, things like Elma's mouth and eyes and in Ame to Elma tries not to let anything, literally all of her memories of Amy fade away. (reminds me of the reason why Elma kept a diary for her trip to Sweden)
5. 7/13 & 湖の街 (Mizumi no Machi/Lakeside Town)
...they're also instrumentals
6. 躍ろうぜ (Odorouze/Let's Dance) & 神様のダンス (Kamisama no Dansu/Dance of the Gods)
um the titles have "dance" in them???
not sure really. in Odorouze, Amy pretends everything's fine when he's still struggling with his memories of Elma and depression and whatever and in Kamisama no Dansu Elma is PISSED OFF about the fact that she decided to follow Amy's footsteps considering his values. i mean i don't blame her i don't feel like being told i'd have about a year left to live and just LIVE AND GO DO STUFF and go to Sweden before realizing "dang. i screwed up. can't talk it back now--" *oofs self on some random dock*
oh also a discussion i had w/ nonsense-bungaku on Kamisama has changed my beliefs slightly; Elma is still mad at Amy (and herself) for following his path and beliefs but she's also kind of done trying to create music with "value" and "purpose", just creating music because it's fun, because the process of creating music is something one can derive joy from
edit: Kamisama does take a line, "名もない花が綺麗とか" ("Nameless flowers are beautiful") and a slightly altered version of the line "そんなのどうでもいいから" ("I couldn't care any less about that", being "どうでもいいことばっかだ" meaning the same thing) from Yoru Magai
Kamisama also references Yoru Magai in the lines "I keep my head down, like I'm scared" because in the verses of Yoru, in the fifth lines, Amy talks about keeping his head down, so he can't see how blue the sky is or so he doesn't understand everyone's feelings.
another unrelated note, Kamisama no Dansu is still freaking good. not that it wasn't good before but like there's something about it that i really like and would talk about until i fainted from loss of oxygen.
7. 六月和雨上がりの街を書く (Rokugatsu wa Ameagari no Machi wo Kaku/In June, I'll Write About the Town After the Rain) & 雨晴るる (Ame Haruru/After The Rain)
first of all, both of them are about rain (astute observation. round of applause.)
i do think it's really cool how Amy says he'd write about the rain in the town he stayed at but never stayed long enough to write about it, so Elma does it for him. also Elma's style has changed from where she was before, like say, Yuunagi or Koe
also Rokugatsu references Ai Nijou and may be what inspired the creation of Parade
edit: both Ame and Rokugatsu talk about this "ultramarine" which, at least to me, in Rokugatsu refers to the whole memories and the window and in Ame Ha it refers to tears
Ame Ha also references Gogatsu with the swaying curtains, and *potentially* references Hachigatsu in the line "my heartbeat rung out". potentially. if i'm looking too deep and they aren't related don't yell at me
8. 五月は花��青の窓辺から (Gogatsu wa Hana Rokushou no Madobe Kara/In May, from the Emerald Green Window) & 歩く (Aruku/Walk)
again, not sure how these correlate. though i like how Aruku's chorus is a slowed down version of Gogatsu's chorus.
edit: ...how i didn't notice this i will never know. the frikking Emerald Green/tears metaphor.
Aruku also talks about feeling "asleep", where Elma (as she said in Ame Ha) plays dumb and pretends not to know Amy would die early cuz chronic illness and moveth to foreign country (though Amy did grow up there) and unhealthy mental state. this song and Koe also talk about Elma hating herself for doing so, but Elma and Nautilus think that her playing dumb was pretty endearing
both songs also have this feeling of being "trapped", where Amy feels trapped in this life, and the only way out is Emerald Green, while Elma got left behind and is now stuck looking for at least scraps of the person she loves through these streets
Aruku also potentially references Yoru Magai in the way Elma imitates Amy by keeping her head down, the same way as Kamisama
9. 夜紛い (Yoru Magai/False Night) & 心に穴が空いた (Kokoro ni Ana ga Aita/A Hole Opened Up in My Heart)
i think it's cool how Yoru's main and last line is "I want to open up a hole in you" and then Kokoro's is like "That's why a hole has opened up in my heart" like HOWWWWW HOW MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT
also Kokoro's third line references the song it responds to, as well as Letters 6/26, "a false night, like twilight, painted the town"
also another unrelated note KOKORO NI ANA GA AITA IS JUST SO SAD AND PAINFUL. LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LET ME CRY
edit: how none of you said this gets me. um the line "君だけが僕の音楽なんだよ"、 エイミー ("You alone were my music", Amy) is literally from Ai Nijou (i mean i guess it was too obvious but whatever i'll put that in)
10. 5/6 & 森の教会 (Mori no Kyoukai/Church in the Forest)
more. instrumental.
11. パレード (Parade) & 声 (Koe/Voice)
both incorporate the concept of the God of Art which i think is cool
both are lyrically short
Koe references Yoru in the line "this heavy life is like a machine gun" and may have alluded to the metaphor from Yuunagi - in the line "what I want to draw/picture is the time that hollowed my heart" (and maybe a part of a line got re-used in Ame to Kapuchiino?? does the line "when I cry, it overflows” count???)
Koe also sounds like Parade, just in the key C#, not D
edit: in Letters 7/13, Amy said Parade was Koe
another edit: Parade is the song about the God of Art, right??? well i read @saikisser 's post on how FREAKING SAD PARADE IS AND LISTENING TO IT WITH CONTEXT MAKES IS EVEN SADDER and well Amy also thinks Elma is divine to him (because she's the one that sings the lyrics the God of Art managed to find in his fingers)
also another unrelated note but listen to Parade it's such a beautiful song i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ittttttttttttttttt
12. エルマ (Elma) & エイミー (Amy)
awwwwww the non-depressing songs!!! i love them sm
um they're messages directly to each other
both were the last songs each other wrote in the story
they both sound sweet and Kumo to Yuurei-esque, but slightly more upbeat (basically just similar to each other)
yeah i love those songs they're the only happy ones by Yorushika i can think of besides Haru Dorobou (which is just SPRING :DDD oooo flowers!!! they're pretty!!!)
anyways.
13. 4/10 & 海底、月明かり (Kaitei, Tsukiakari/Seabed, Moonlight)
another. instrumental. (dw this is the last instrumental)
aaaaaaaand the last one. the one we've been waiting for.
14. だから僕は音楽をやめた (Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta/That's Why I Gave Up On Music) & ノーチラス (Nautilus)
so they were both featured at the end of their journeys. (Amy oofs himself on the dock, Elma finds his stuff a year later and cries before going home on a ship like a month later but in that month there's like no lore whatsoever so it's kind of an epilogue???)
Dakara Boku mainly is just. looking at whatever happened back then and how much Amy regrets whatever he did in Letters. he wishes he stayed with Elma cuz then he'd have a bit longer to live but well i guess he really isn't going to make it past the summer. also screaming. aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
i will say Nautilus was also written by Amy, because at the literal end (just before he wrote Elma, i think. he doesn't write when he says goodbye in Letters and Diary obviously doesn't state when it was written because well Elma doesn't know) he was going about his day before realizing the day he runs out of ink draws nearer and nearer. and he hasn't even considered how Elma felt/would feel after he's gone so he wrote Nautilus as a way to say "it will be hard, but turn away from me and lift your head to the future" and that makes me cry even harder like NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU HERE BUT ALSO I CAN'T TAKE YOU WITH ME CUZ YOU TOOK THE BUS TO THE OTHER WORLD CYA
and that's it for the albums! =w=
*pathetic bowing*
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toasteaa · 2 months
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Sobbing, crying, tearing down walls, taking a melatonin so I can stop being plagued by Eclairette thoughts tonight cause ough
Ooooough,,,
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catboysalmon · 2 months
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The fucking DEMONS
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