#like realistically in my every day life

[ghostbeam]

The reason I said Dabi couldn’t pull me is because he’s literally soooo scared to talk to me and IM certainly not talking to him first so

#like realistically in my every day life #like I would one thousand percent see him and want him and go home crying to myself cause I couldn’t speak to him #and I would think abt him every day for the rest of my life and regret never trying #just like he would obviously #but #in my fantasy selfship life he obviously talks to me and is sort of a dork but ultimately charming and we fall in love forever #most of my self ship meet cutes w him begin w like Friends introducing us or like something where were forced to talk to each other #for like an extended period #but either way

[jimmyspades]

2013 | 2023

#sorry I was out tonight but now I’m back and. and #fighting for my life over here HELP #you could very realistically make the case that he’s the only man in the world #james spader #the blacklist #raymond reddington #* #favorite #every minute he doesn’t look like this is a travesty. thank gd he got older and fatter I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!! #posting these photos 10 times a day every day

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anybody else slowly disassociating more and more as you slowly lose all of your touchstones in this world?

#it can't be just me right #also i am stoned and can't sleep why is it already past 2am damn #disassociation #no close family any more #one half sister where we have a weird relationship because i basically raised her for a while #so when we're around each other we just remind each other of our horrific childhoods and various mental health issues from that #all of my friends either live too far away are too busy with their own lives and loves (understandable) or have just forgotten me #starting to feel like I imagined that whole fling with d #but geez it'd be pretty pathetic if even a romance I made up in my head didn't end up with someone choosing me #then again I have trouble enjoying fantasies too far from the realm of possibility and maybe it's just not realistic to have someone want me #as more than a passing entertainment lol #anyway every day i feel less like a real person and more like a ghost or something imaginary or like a stranger in my own body #dang man i wish i could afford therapy i probably could use some huh #although my last therapist was pretty lackluster honestly #mental health #life of faye

[daisywords]

...

#I wish I could just finish something for once #I joke about being a slow writer I own it #but oof its like. all this time and nothing to show for it #(and I don't mean nothing at all I mean nothing to show) #I just. I know I need to get better at self discipline #and not only write once in a blue moon when the fancy strikes me #or else I'm never going to get anywhere. realistically #but idk I just feel like I came out of the womb already low on ''forcing myself'' energy #and the little I can eke out is always used up on the basics of life #and I know it's never going to get better #I'm never going to have less responsibilities #and my writing brain is never going to get less fickle #so what am I supposed to do????????? #like ik ik get a routine #except going to work every day and feeding myself is like the most routine I can manage I swear #anyway most of the time I'm like. I don't want to make writing into something stressful that would be counterproductive #what matters is that I'm having fun #but sometimes it's like. dang. I am just never going to accomplish my goals i guess

[daylighteclipsed]

anyone else feel like the whole world is this 👌 close to completely snapping

#it feels like a rubber band is being pulled farther and farther #and it’s going to snap soon #like people are just rapidly reaching their limit #specifically the working class #France is already rioting #like we’re all just so fucking fed up with all the elites around the globe #america especially feels like we’re one jenga block away from #i can’t say war bc realistically we would be mowed down but um #quitting the game i guess #it’s all a game and we’re this close to flipping the board #I’m sick to my stomach I’m furious I’m exhausted #we’re all so tired and drained and hear all these horrible things every day and have to go to work like nothings happening #why are we going to work why are we playing this game i don’t wanna play anymore !!!!! #I’m just. I’m so hurt and frustrated and feel the grief of millions of people I’m in tears #this is not sustainable life doesn’t have to be this way it shouldn’t be this way #it feels so hopeless i hate it i hate it so much i am living on spite alone #god damn you elites i will go down swinging

[forestofsprites]

i've flipped my routine around these past few weeks and the result has been me absolutely and completely enamoured with the daily walk. i have become a walker. just generally going for strolls!!!

#i wanted to get back into weight training. bc i miss being fucking ripped i won't lie #but realistically i just pop my shoulder joints out and i don't need to make my arthritis worse. so that's a slow and steady sit #i have replaced it with The Daily Walk #and my god i've gotten hooked #every day i'm adding a little more to my route and my body is taking it so well i'm incredibly proud!!! #yesterday i bumped into a mouse and a salamander #i've also realized that when i'm home next week i can dye my hair blond again #OH AND I'VE bumped into redacted twice. including this morning. and i was so normal and it totally didn't brighten my day or anything #friends. friendship. making friends. and such<3 #it's nice getting some strength in my body again. somewhere #i mean i'm shit at getting my right leg to lift all the way so it keeps getting a bit . dropsy #and i know my limits!!!!! #but it's nice:] #there's a lot that can't be controlled life-wise but shit if i give my sweet autistic brain a routine peppered with #my interests??? like fucking catnip babey

[miscreantahead]

Ppl are like "they wouldn't include characters from the old podcast in the new one because they said you don't have to listen to the old one" and I I I I

Sorry you're right every media ever opens by describing every characters birth circumstances and life up to this point and including any characters that appear in other media or had undocumented lives in the canon is bad writing and makes the text incomprehensible.

On the whole we need to remember "don't need to listen to the first one" just means "this one can stand on its own as a story" and not "no elements of the original will be included."

#why am i mean and aggressive about this tiny thing i guess it's because it IS tiny #and because i feel like the people throwing these theories around are like “u just wanna see ur blorbs again!!” but nooooooo #-shoves stuff off table like the old guy in the meme- your explanations for the opposite make no sense !!! #my blog title is about this now bc im petty #gonna be so funny when im wrong except im not #'it's cute that ppl are having fun thinking it's them but realistically...' NO NOT REALISTICALLY #i thought i'd stop seeing this after .jmj error but no #every day i still wake and fight for my life

[showsandshowtunes]

now that's what i call prose

#idk what kind of writing this is but i eat it up every. single. time!!!! #also i just finished beartown in two days. woah #to everyone who has ever recommended this book #so much love #honestly. have never read such a banger in my life #extremely good. like extremelyyyyy good. fredrik backman i must thank you #but also!!!! extremely fucking sad and heavy and realistic. so #beartown #fredrik backman

[truffle-chocolate]

I have a feeling that by the end of my studies at our institute I will simply get drunk and become an alcoholic. Because I literally can’t finish my coursework right now (again), the due date is tomorrow and I'm shaking with nerves because everything has to be perfect

And the only thing that makes me distract myself and stop nervously scratching the skin on my arms, face and back is a damn glass of homemade wine

Just a little update on how I'm still alive, still trying to learn, even though I'm nervous as hell about it. I fucking hate that I can't focus on the necessary and boring things. Because this is literally all of my studies.

Boredom, tediousness, desire to fall asleep, go somewhere else, or not come to class at all

And it’s not even the fault of the teachers or my classmates! I just have a hard time concentrating on something with a lot of text. I love solving problems, equations, examples - numbers are what calms me down and what I understand

But my specialty turned out to be almost entirely built on definitions, text, laws and words. And if there are formulas, then they are kind of stupid and very often repeated among themselves

So yeah, it's hard for me right now to try a little bit not to drop out of school with about a year and a half left to go, heh

I just wanted to share a little about what I'm doing now, heh

#again I throw in a little information about my life and disappear #I just probably hate the direction I'm studying in #but nothing really attracts me #and every day now it’s very hard for me to force myself to go to class #the part about wine actually sounds realistic #because in my first year I took a small sip that looked like a thimble #Now I'm taking two large sips from my mug and thinking about taking two more #It's been literally two or three years?? #Because now I'm finishing my third year #But please don't solve your problems like me #This can have a bad effect on the body #ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE MINORS

[theoldaeroplane]

I need things to stop HAPPENING

#nothing's wrong i just seem unable to catch my breath #i work for eight hours and then i have something almost every night when i get home #movie nights or social nights or volunteering nights or nights where i just can't do anything because i had therapy that day #don't get me started on weekends #i volunteer for 2-4 hours on Saturday mornings and i have hangouts on Saturday afternoons and DND on Sundays #and that's without counting any of the many variable things that i may attend on a Saturday #pride is this weekend and don't get me wrong I'm really looking forward to going #but i need like 3 days where i sit in my house and no one asks me to go anywhere #i want to make as many of the volunteer things as i can bc it only happens for about 18 weeks out of the year and there's only 12 left #what about Thursday and Friday you ask? Thursday is also volunteering #because that is when the miniature horses have their classes and what am i supposed to do? NOT go help with miniature horses??? #fridays are usually clear except for the occasional hangout #i don't know why i can't seem to keep a balance in my life #es dificil #anyway i have to leave for work thirty minutes early today so i can make it to the barn in time to get the minis ready #yesterday i had to leave two hours early because i had an anxiety attack that lasted well over two hours and persisted through a nap #where is the balance.... i enjoy doing all these things... but my energy doesn't.... #anyway i need a rich person to decide I'm entertaining and sponsor me so i only have to work part time and i can do my funny little arts #that seems realistic right?

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

is there a way to block one single post without necessarily blocking the whole person

#every time the 'actually Kar/lach's endings are good because it's realistic or whatever' post shows up on my dash #my nerves ruin my whole day #and like it's fiction. death of the author and all that shit. #not the hill I want to fight people on #it's just that I immediately want to throw up and stop functioning #jesus fucking christ is it my actual trigger or something #and if so why would it fucking be #sigh #anyway really curious how I see people say 'it's a good representation of being in a relationship with a terminally ill person!' #and then I see people say 'I have a heart condition and I did not need a fantasy game to remind me of rEaLiTy' #anyway regardless of that point even #it's the glaring gaps in her quest content that make it all so much worse #but ooooh apparently giving the sweetest character of the cast who has ALREADY been through shit on par with everyone else #(look me in the eyes and tell me her backstory without the looming death wasn't already on par with Asta/rion) #is cool and realistic and the unfairness is the point-- #how about you fuck all the way off #'the character kicked around by life dies in the end' is the worst trope #ask Arcadia Bay if it's still standing in my playthrough #anyway to Aver/nus we go #I am censoring all the names 'cause I don't want to start a fight #have your opinions just gods I wish I didn't have to look at them #purely for my own selfish sanity

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

one of my friends and i were talking about life and where we would be in a few years and it made me a lil bit sad

#we were driving somewhere and i said something about how she was going to move away one day #(she doesn't wanna live in texas forever esp cause she's lived here most of her life) #and we talked about how one day we'd both probably just be fond memories to each other #like just people to look back on when thinking about your early 20s or whatever #SHE said this not me. i think it's so fucking morbid #but like she's not wrong and i keep thinking about it #how everyone you ever love will leave u some day?? isn't that just so absolutely fucked #but like. we're probably gonna part ways someday #and then we'll just start talking less and less and less and one day not at all #cause that's how life is isn't it #someone can mean the absolute WORLD to you one day #and a few years later you might not even think about them unless something prompts it #and i DO Try to talk to my besties as often as i can #but maybe i should get on real social media or something idk #it's literally impossible to talk to every single person who has meant something to you on a regular basis #and i think that's what social media is for??? idkkkkk #i'm being melancholy and CRINGE today ig #idk it's weird how u can go from 'we're going to be at each other's weddings' to 'eh we probably won't see each other much if ever #in another five years' #she's said both of those things. one of them is more realistic than the other. #delete later #you just gotta leave before u get left ig #sorry for quoting taylor swift

[icharchivist]

i mean i get why it sucks but i've been having an existential crisis that keeps me up at night for most of my life too and i'm not producing people expressly to abuse them and use them as tools about it. Astrals are just on something else i guess

i'd say it's a question of scale in general, as in an existential crisis coming so deeply from a whole different life in your head would fuck someone up much more. but anyway i keep saying Lucilius' way to treat other is bad, in those same posts in fact, just that his issues with depersonalization/derealization are also extremely compelling and actually make me feel bad for him. Those two feelings can coexist, and i don't mean that you have to be nicer to him or anything. i'm just saying he's still an interesting character.

#like idk as someone who suffered from both scenario ie: abuse from family and lover #and this feeling of twisting yourself to try to overcompensate on the neglect you've been through #AND as someone who genuinely feels like i'm walking my life as dissociated from reality #and have to constantly remind myself to remain close to earth while being scared when the apathy knocks in #especially after too-realistic dreams that can really make it seem like something is deeply wrong with me and i shouldn't be here #i have actually deep feelings for both situation #yeah Lucilius's way to treat others is wrong. i've never denied it or implied that because he was a sad meow meow it was forgiveable #all i've been saying is that damn actually this feeling of complete disconnect resonate with me to the point of shattering my glass house #and while compassion and empathy are stuff i deeply deeply prioritize in my life #i have those episodes of pure apathy especially after a disconnection like that #that genuinely scare me and that i have to work twice harder to feel myself back into controlling my thoughts #and therefore am deeply scared of the flipside of not managing to fight it #which actually make me much more empathic to characters who can't. actually. #like i have this thing where i see characters who struggles with similar issues than me and make all the wrong choices #because i pity them like i'd pity myself in the mirror on a bad day #like i'm sorry i don't want to be tmi or justify myself in such a way but i've tried just being more general #and if we're going to put personal experience into all of this i have all day #i have a trauma for all of the stuff i have lighthearted but strong opinions about #i insult Lucilius every other day i feel like it's a bit sad that the day i say i do actually like how interesting his drama is #that i have to argue for the reasons why those issues - while not erasing his flaws - are worth being emotional about #and i'm not asking you to feel this way and you should stick to how you feel bc your personal experience is what should shape your feelings #but you also need to accept that i have my own as well #ichareply #anonymous #ichafantalks gbf

[eggmeralda]

when I was 19 in 2019 I got these Vibes about 2023, it wouldn't be good or bad it would just be a Significant year

2020 was so bad that 2021 could only be better, it started good and then I got paranoid that 2022 was gonna be bad in comparison, so I mentally prepared myself for 2022 months in advance

then by the summer 2021 suddenly became worse than all of 2020 combined, but it improved by about september

bc of the mentally preparing myself months before, 2022 was amazing, but bc it started so good I got the feeling that it wouldn't end well

the last 4 months were pretty bad, and then came 2023

I got many different vibes for it over the past 4 years, but one of the main things was that there'd been a pattern going since 2015

2015: extremely good

2016: extremely bad

2017: average

2018: pretty decent

2019: extremely good

2020: extremely bad

2021: average

2022: pretty decent

so 2023 was expected to be really good? but also it had to get up from 2022's bad ending so the goodness was gradual

my brain is prepared for a good last 4 months to compare to 2022's bad last 4 months

but also following the pattern, 2024 should be extremely bad, and once I've got the thought in my head that a year will be bad, there's no going back. which would explain the extremely bad year following an extremely good year

2015 and 2019 were unreal, which meant 2016 and 2020 would've looked bad in comparison no matter what, so they just completely gave up and decided to be awful

but anyway it's 'getting paranoid about next year' season, also I can never escape the patterns of time etc etc

#in 5 days it's the 10th anniversary of the beginning of my memory and dates obsession. which is fun #oh time thoughts why must you run my life #why must you keep constant surveillance on my thoughts and if i think the wrong thing then something disastrous will happen #fun fun times 👍 #also like *19yo thoughts voice* ''something very bad will happen in 2020'' #*19yo thoughts voice* ''2023 will be a significant year'' and then me paranoidly thinking what could be That significant that i'm getting #info about it now? oh my god someone's gonna die #and then by 2023 someone died #bc i reblogged that post saying 'reblog to get good news in late march' #which meant i left the thoughts unsupervised by late march bc i thought i was protected by that post #then my friend and his toxic girlfriend had a massive fight and i was like 'oh my god they're gonna break up this must be the good news' #then they stayed together and my sister's friend died instead #as if the time patterns were reminding me never to let my thoughts relax like that again #i need to always remember every memory and make sure i don't accidentally control the future again #i know realistically i don't control the future and i didn't cause my sister's friend to die and i didn't cause the pandemic #and i know my brain is very irrational #but still #this happens way too much and idk i just don't want something really bad to happen in 2024 #hopefully it'll do a weird swapover like with 2017/18 #bc before that odd number years were good and even number years were bad starting in 2014 #or like odd number years would start bad but end good and the even number years would be the other way round #but 2017 stayed neutral throughout and then 2018 started bad ended good #then until 2021 the pattern was swapped #2021 was weird bc it started and ended good but was horrendous in the middle #no other year has ever done that #so yeah 2024 could do something weird and swap with another year idk #but i'll have to see #ramble

[welcometoteyvat]

"the narrow eyes of Asians would be true purely because of the region"

my good brother in christ, DIE.

#went into the zhongli tag. day ruined #'I had almost no experience drawing such an appearance.' YEAH I CAN TELL BY HOW U REDUCE BEING (E)ASIAN TO JUST MONOLIDS AND NOTHING ELSE. #im sorry but also fucking saying this about GENSHIN of all things get a brain idiot #every character in the game has big ole anime eyes #including every single character from liyue and inazuma #like idk what a way to tell me that you haven't met a single asian person in your life and still think of us as stereotypes #i hold a special place of hate in my heart for people who. draw characters from easian media in a ''''''''realistic'''''''' style #and then make their eyes the stereotype slit eyes or otherwise hella fucking ugly . and justify w 'realistic style' 🤓🤓 #bro just say youre still xenophobic and go #anyways whatever. killing and maiming but in my mind. #the other thing abt this that makes me angry is this is literally zhongli. he's the epitome of chinese coded in the game. and then ur like #'he MUST have narrow eyes' DIE! fucking why was that comment necessary FOR GODS SAKE . he's chinese in ways that are not phenotypical #anyways whatever idc if op sees this if it's ignorance theyre on thin fucking ice and if its racism then im glad if it ticks them off #ramblings! #the kicker is also i wouldve rbed that without thinking twice if i didnt read the fucking caption. it was decent art but never fucking mind

[kxllerblond]

On Clark && Organized Crime.

I really emphasize the fact Clark dabbles heavily in the criminal world (and corporate business overworld) and that he has a reputation, but also is a relatively mysterious individual-—you may have asked yourself how the fuck he manages to be some business-equivalent of John goddamn W*ck and does so while being a supernatural creature.

We've been over the HOW in terms of how he has the influence he has, the connections, etc. Clark works OBSESSIVELY, he's toxic about it to the point where the only reason he hasn't fucked his own health is because he's got the perks of being inhuman. I really hammer in the fact that Clark NEEDS to keep busy and so he dumps just about all of his waking energy into what he does and with the combination of supernatural perks && his own unmatched drive, he accomplished an insane amount in a mere 20 years that could rival just about any multi-generational crime family at this point. I touch on it a little more in detail HERE.

WHAT'S HE DO?

What does he bring to the table? What has gotten him so well connected and powerful? As one might expect from the son of a demon-— he's a deal maker, a deal settler, and a deal enforcer. He's your middleman they can't say no to and, more importantly, he's one that don't WANT to say no to. He brings other things to the table that's earned him some respect like being insanely reliable and always delivering on his promises and, of course, the fact he's got enough money and favors pocketed it makes him valuable just to be in business with.

On the less savory side of things, there are certainly stories ring leaders tell their underlings to keep them in line and many of them may or may not involve Clark and what he has may or may not have done to groups that have gone back on their word with him or went so far as to double-cross him. Rooms of gore, entire crime families wiped over night if they were lucky, killed in every way but physically if they weren't. Gnarly stuff and gnarly punishments for what Clark considers the biggest affront to him. Needless to say, with statements like that, betrayal doesn't happen much nowadays.

Got a pretty decent example of something he might get up to if you reeeeally peeved him off HERE.

BEING IMMORTAL IN A MORTAL WORLD

Arachno, you may ask, how the fuck does he exist like this for twenty something plus years and do the things he does and not be found out? Does no one ask questions??? The short answer is: he really only half avoids it and also people would rather believe a nonsensical lie than they would to accept some batshit truth.

The long answer is he has a plethora of aliases. Frankly, you could be working with or for him and not even know it. Aside from that, he sends liaisons in his stead at times, he impersonates as his own grandson, was his own son before that. Sometimes, he just goes as Mr. Thompson in person, sometimes he only communicates via voice or text. Between all these mediums of doing business, it just further lends to his wild ass reputation. Which leads us to...

THE DEMON OF WALL STREET

An annoying moniker he's earned (much to his chagrin) and is due to the culmination of his own dark reputation, the manner in which he conducts business and settles deals, and also because of the fact there are totally grandpappy crime lords out there on their last leg who SWEAR they remember dealing with the same eerily beautiful blond man in a suit that their predecessor is working with now despite how humanly impossible that would be. Some real Age of Adaline shit. Mr. Thompson does get tossed around a lot, but this title is what you'll hear most often-—especially when you're in a pinch and looking for a last ditch solution to a problem. This is where I get a lot of the OMG!! HE'S JUST LIKE JW from because, really, that's how he gets talked about-—like this scene for example.

Really, he's just some highly professional, efficient, and will-driven businessman that can be like a force of nature if you personally agitate him. Truly an angel to some, a demon to others.

GETTING IN CONTACT WITH THE DEMON

Sort of just an altered version of how you'd get ahold of him in a supernatural sense. He's got a business card with nothing but a number that usually gets passed around by people he's already worked with, sometimes it's by word of mouth. You call or text this number, you get meeting instructions, the line becomes unreachable.

#if i was a canon this would be cool as shit but because clark's an oc i know i gotta defend this shit with my LIFE #anyway besties this is literally all he does. he is ALWAYS doing stuff either underground or over. but literally every day he is in meeting #he is making them business smoves. so like with hustling like that this is totally a realistic outcome oKAY #i also really want to emphasize that he really only has things like time and stamina etc on his side. clark does this to keep occupied and #so he doesn't just strongarm shit with his powers because that would make things easy and that defeats the whole purpose of this dfkjbgd #so he really just UHHH explodes ppl or uses his powers when like he has no other choice :') #i also take a lot of inspo from BBC sherlock's moriarty (i know im soRRY) #consulting criminal sort of. if you have a problem he fixes it. easy :))) #(;hc) #cw long post #this was WAY MORE put together in my head at 9am fkjgdgf i get out of work and im so fog brained aaaaaa #anyway i love clark pls talk to me about him being a fucking boogeyman esque character in the criminal world fkjdbgdg #;important