#look when i say this game is laser-focused at me and my tastes specifically i am not kidding | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

here2bbtstrash · 2 years

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Can you write a drabble with bestfriend yoongi finding out you have a spit kink and makes fun of you but turns out he’s into it too and … yea 🤭

anon i gotta give you props for so patiently playing the waiting game. i literally saved this req from the last time you sent it bc i really WANTED to do it but it took a lotta brain power 😂 had to have a whole brainstorming session

also shoutout to seokjin for making this relevant!!

still accepting freaky requests, lmk what ya wanna see!!

pairing: yoongi x reader word count: 1.1k contains: spit kink, erotic watermelon eating 🥴, i promise there's no actual food play tho, friends to lovers ig, tiny bit of praise kink

“Eat.” Yoongi sets the plate of fruit and bowl down in front of you, and panic instantly rockets through your nervous system.

“I-I don’t like watermelon,” you say before immediately realizing that isn’t going to solve your problem. The issue isn’t whether or not you eat it.

“That’s not a thing,” Yoongi says decisively as he squints at you. He can clearly tell you are acting strange. “Everyone likes watermelon.”

“Are you questioning my taste in fruit?”

Your best friend rolls his eyes. “Well, I have about ten pounds of it, courtesy of Jin. Help me eat it or don’t. I don’t give a shit.” The silver bracelets on his wrist jangle as he reaches for a slice. You make a mental note to kill Seokjin the next time you see him.

Frozen in place, you can only watch helplessly as Yoongi takes a bite, pink fruit melting quickly under lips and teeth. His jaw works for a second, and then he brings the bowl up to his chin and spits three seeds out in quick succession.

Fuck.

“This one does have a lot of seeds,” he mutters mostly to himself, frowning into the bowl.

Of fucking course it does.

He suddenly seems to become aware of your eyes on him, because he looks up at you, brows furrowing together with agitation. “What is this, a fucking mukbang? Will you put on the damn show?”

Right. Extraordinary Attorney Woo. He specifically invited you over to get caught up on the latest episodes. Not to stare at him while he eats fruit.

You fumble for the remote, trying not to look as flustered as you feel, and clearly fail, because you can hear Yoongi laughing around another mouthful. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?”

“Leave me alone.”

You manage to divert enough brain cells from thinking about your best friend’s mouth to remember how to pull up Netflix.

The show starts, and you sink back against the couch, extremely grateful for the distraction.

Except it doesn’t work. You are unfortunately laser-focused on Yoongi as he reaches for another slice, and the first bite is accompanied with a gratuitous sucking sound as he attempts to keep the juice in his mouth.

He’s not quite successful, and when a few drops roll down his chin, you’re hit with the nearly overwhelming desire to lick them up.

“You can literally have some if you want it,” he talks with his mouth full, wiping the back of his hand over his neck. You know he’s talking about the watermelon, but there’s already a steady pulse between your legs at the other opportunity that sentence offers you.

He picks up the bowl again to spit into it, having to try a few times to get all the seeds out of his mouth, and you’re not going to make it. Especially not when he reaches for a third slice and makes a low hum of appreciation at the first bite. The noise thrums through you, so intense you swear you’re vibrating.

Yoongi’s eyes catch yours, and when he sees you’re still watching him intently, he’s clearly had enough.

“Alright,” he says mid-chew, picking up the remote to pause the show and then slamming it back down. “If I’m that fucking gross, you can just go home.”

“Not gross,” you correct quickly, before you can decide whether or not it’s a good idea.

Yoongi looks entirely confused, but he must finally be able to read the expression on your face, see the way you go slack-jawed when he pulls the bowl up to his mouth and spits into it a third time.

“So, what, you have a watermelon fetish?”

“Not watermelon,” you say softly.

His gaze jumps from your face to the bowl and back, and he seems to finally put the pieces together.

“Oh my god, are you one of those ‘spit in my mouth, daddy’ girls?”

An embarrassed heat shoots up your neck, and you can only nod.

“That’s fucking freaky,” he laughs, enough that his shoulders shake. “I can’t believe I never knew this.” Your brain thinks to tell him that you don’t appreciate being kink-shamed, and then his next words make you forget how to string a sentence together, or even what words are.

“Open your mouth, then.”

Without hesitation, you do as you're told. It’s impossible to miss the smug expression on Yoongi’s face as he gets to his knees and moves towards you.

“So eager. You want it that bad?”

Your tongue lolls out as you nod, and you inhale sharply when his hand comes to grab your face and hold it in place, silver rings digging into your skin in a way that sends sparks through you.

“Then I want you to take it like a good girl, okay?”

You couldn’t suppress the strangled noise that sentence works out of your open mouth if you tried. Yoongi’s eyes glint– he’s clearly enjoying this power. The strong muscle of his jaw flexes, and then he leans down to spit into your waiting mouth. It’s too damn hot for you to stop the desperate whine that follows.

“Want more?”

When you whimper again, Yoongi seems satisfied with the response. He sits up a little taller on his knees, and you can see his tongue moving behind closed lips. There’s more saliva this time– a lot more; he lets it fall slowly out of his mouth, off of his tongue, feeding it to you one drop at a time, so slow it’s nearly torture. You squeeze your eyes shut and your thighs together at the same time, your hips just barely starting to rock, in desperate need of friction.

You hear and feel it as he spits a third time, fast and aggressive now, so fucking dirty that a shiver rips up your spine.

Yoongi’s fingers brush over your jaw, and you take the encouragement to close your mouth and swallow.

“Good girl.” His voice is dark with lust, and you instantly need more. Eyes still closed, you drop your mouth open again in a silent request.

It takes you by surprise when his tongue meets yours instead, and you can’t help but outright moan as he licks into your mouth, tasting sweet and heady. You find his body under your hands, fingers moving to tangle in the long dark hair at the nape of his neck, enjoying the low groan you pull out of him when you tug gently, the way his lips close around your tongue and suck.

His hands are already fumbling for the button of your jeans, and you’re both breathless when he breaks the kiss momentarily to better see what he’s doing.

“Fuck, how about I spit on your clit next?”

You don’t expect to survive the evening.

#yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts smut #bts x reader #anonymous #*watermelon sugar high plays in the distance*

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actualbird · 4 years

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nobody asked but pat gill is so fucking hot to me and im going to tell you why im attracted to him | a 2.3k word long post where i hold you, dear reader, hostage

[SCENE: You, the reader, are tied to a wooden chair in an empty room with nothing but a small table and a projector. You pull at the ropes that tie your hands together behind your back, but then the door opens and I stroll in. I am dressed in a full black suit and am also wearing shutter shades. I am also holding a powerpoint clicker. The fancy ones with a laser pointer in them. You shudder in contempt for you know that you are about to witness a horrible lecture.]

Hello, reader. I know you know why I’ve brought you here. I’m here to discuss something very important to you. Don’t look at me like that, it is important, I swear. I am here to tell you why I find Pat Gill hot.

[I switch on the projector. My presentation slides flash to life on the wall. Behind your back, you locate the feel around the knots tying your hands.]

This is not a presentation where I will convince you that Pat Gill is hot. No, I wouldn’t prescribe my tastes onto anybody, that’s not nice. What I will do is explain in horrid, vivid detail why I myself find Pat Gill hot.

Like everything I do, I cannot dive in without first setting up some kind of framework or system of analysis. What I am trying to explain is how I find another person attractive, and that has thus pushed me to make the AHG Criteria, a criteria made up of the three principal characteristics of a human which makes me attracted to them and is also, coincidentally, the sound I make when I see images of Pat Gill.

The AHG Criteria refers to the following:

Appearance: the most shallow but noticeable of characteristics. Here, I will explain just what it is about Pat Gill’s perceivable flesh prison that gets me so upset in an attracted manner.

Humor: I love a funny human and humor theory is one of my side interests. Here, I will dissect two specific instances of Pat Gill’s humor, bringing in references and related literature, in an effort to explain why his sense of humor is stellar.

Good at presenting things: I am very attracted to competence, but one skill I hold in very high regard is the skill of explaining and conveying information. Here, I will analyse Pat Gill as a communicator.

So let’s jump right into it.

Pat Gill’s Appearance is, frankly, an anomaly to me. This is not to say that anything about his appearance is strange, but that, quite honestly, as handsome as he is, he’s basic. He is white, he is tall, he is thin, he has black hair and a slight beard (though currently he is sporting more of a moustache, which I’m still into). At first glance, one wouldn’t pay him much attention. I sure didn’t, until I watched more and more videos of him. I sure didn’t, until I realized.

His Appearance is basic, but his vibes, which I am including in the criteria of Appearance, bring his Appearance to life. Pat Gill looks a little unapproachable, with his resting sad face; but, when he smiles, he is so shameless and happy. Pat Gill looks like somebody you’d see leaning on a wall outside a bar, looking up at the sky, and you wonder just what he’s thinking about---wonder if you could get lost in his thoughts. Pat Gill looks like somebody friendly--- once his resting sad face gives way---somebody who would help you pick up your stuff when you bump into him and the contents of your bag spill out. Pat Gill looks like somebody who would use his goddamn turn signal. Pat Gill looks like somebody who would pet many dogs, as many dogs as he physically could. Pat Gill looks---

[As I prattle on, your fingers explore the knots behind your back. In your mind, you are mapping out the knot’s shape and orientation, thinking about how to undo them. When you tune back into my voice, the slide on the projector has changed and I have shifted topics.]

Let’s move onto the next criteria. Humor.

Paul McGhee in his book Humor: Its Origins and Development brings up Göran Nerhardt to define humor as “[...] a consequence of the discrepancy between two mental representations, one of which is an expectation and the other is some idea or percept” (McGhee 14). Nerhardt’s definition of humor is one that relies on incongruity: wherein there is an element that is not in accordance with the other elements. An incongruous element is one that is not the expectation, and in this subversion of expectation, humor is achieved. What is funny in a humorous situation, is then, what is unexpected to a certain degree. Humor, and the reaction to it, is due to the recognition of the incongruous.

Despite this incongruity, there is still an internal logic to anything humorous. This internal logic is different for each humorous situation, and consists of everything within the situation; the set-up, punchline, characters, etc. It is this internal logic that allows for jokes to “make sense.” It is that internal logic that helps us get from one element to the incongruous element, realize their relationship, and thus find the whole thing funny.

Incongruity and internal logic are one of the many characteristics of humor, and they are the ones I will be focusing on. With those definitions in place, let’s talk about what you’re here for: Pat Gill.

Pat Gill is a funny guy. If I tried to analyse every single instance he was funny, I would never shut up. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

[You shake your head no. God, no.]

Right, so I’ll just be focusing on two instances of his humor that stuck out to me (originally, I wanted to discuss three, but then I saw that the length of this post was getting kilometric, so I cut it down to the essentials), these of which I think is a good marker for the kind of sense of humor he has.

The first one is my absolute favorite tweet of his:

This tweet is, at first glance, a lot. Pat Gill doesn’t wait for the punchline to be incongruous, he throws incongruity straight at our faces with the opening line, and one may think that that’s a bad move. Not necessarily. It’s just a ballsy one. It’s a move that doesn’t spoonfeed the audience with the internal logic, you have to work for it. As you read through the tweet, the internal logic starts to come through the incongruity. The literal dramatic situation of the tweet is a persona talking about the good state their nemesis is in. The language of the tweet keys us in to the kind of Medieval vibe, like a scheming duke in the hallways of a castle. The punchline comes after the last comma. The monolog of the nemesis’ good fortune will be interrupted by the persona’s attack on their life.

This tweet is an example of the bedrock of many of his jokes. He doesn’t give a damn if he makes sense or not. He will throw you into the deep end of the joke and it is up to you to tread the water. However, if you do manage to keep afloat, his internal logic will bring you to the punchline and, thus, satisfaction.

[Your fingers have been working on the knots steadily as I speak. You try your best not to react as you start to feel something give way, and you keep working quietly.]

The second instance of humor I want to discuss is the Solid Snake Skincare Routine dialog he wrote and performed with Brian in episode 8 of Gill and Gilbert. The full transcript is as follows:

Pat (as Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid): Colonel, how do I know which moisturizer to buy, and how do I know it’ll match my skin type?

Brian (as Colonel from Metal Gear Solid): Unfortunately Snake, there’s no way to tell for sure. Certain retailers will offer samples, but in most cases, it’s up to you to purchase a product and try it out.

Pat: Sounds expensive.

Brian: It is, Snake. And the cost disproportionately affects women.

Pat: Women?

Brian: Societal norms in the west dictate that a woman’s value is tied to their appearance, and the thing every woman has…

Pat: Skin!

Brian: Right.

Pat: So, we expect women to attain a higher---So, we expect women---women, to attain perfect skin, and we also expect them to pay for it?

Brian: All while paying them less for doing the same jobs as men.

Pat: So Colonel, that means…

Brian: Yes, Snake. It is imperative that you give your money to women.

Pat: Right.

Like the tweet discussed before, Pat Gill shoves incongruity in your face immediately. Solid Snake, super cool spy dude (?? I don’t fuckin know anything about video games) talking about skincare. He expects you to keep up, and if you do, you are rewarded by a surreal yet lovely conversation between Snake and Colonel talking about the intricacies of skincare, but then things get really interesting. The topic shifts to the societal expectations of beauty and how it ties into womens’ experiences. This isn’t a grand woke moment or anything, but it is a surprising shift in subject that is perfectly in tune with the internal logic of the conversation. The punchline is amazing, giving all your money to women, yet it is also written in a way that does not imply that women are the butt of the joke. The butt of the joke here is the surreal vibe of the conversation as a whole.

This dialog builds upon the bedrock of Pat Gill’s humor: he isn’t afraid to go places. This is something that is apparent in many of the Unraveleds that he writes (Dark Souls Bosses is a very good example), he brings in real issues, makes the jokes funny, but never treats the marginalized or the victims of these issues as the butt of the joke. In Susan Purdie’s book The Mastery of Discourse, she remarks that to joke about a certain topic, to make something the “butt of the joke” can degrade this topic and bring it down lower, in the process shifting the power to the joker instead (Purdie 59). Pat Gill is aware of that power dynamic and never jokes at the expense of those who are struggling. He instead makes us laugh at characters, at situations, at surreality.

[The knots tying your hands are almost undone. You just need to bide your time. You’re so close to escaping from this thirsty pseudo intellectual motherfucker]

The last criteria I need to discuss with you is GreatAtPresentingThings.

Pat Gill has done a lot of presenting. For this, I will be analyzing just one of the many videos where Pat Presents Things, my favorite among his “X is Y because of Z” videos, “Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the exact same thing.”

I’ve talked about this video in a previous long post analysis about Pat Gill, but let me talk about it again. Pat Gill, on camera, brings up an absolutely bonkers fucking thesis: that the horrible monsters in Bloodborne are similar to the Muppets because of how they use character design.

Pat Gill, as a presenter, is very lovely to listen to. The cadence of his voice is not only extremely relaxing and makes me feel like a tranquilized zoo animal that Pat is talking to very gently about video games, but his voice is also very easy to follow. There are many voices on the internet, and I have a bunch of sensory issues, so a lot of the time, even when I want to listen to somebody, I just can’t because of how their voice grates at my ears. Pat Gill’s voice is not that. It is of a good speed and good vibe that not only puts me at ease but makes me want to listen.

Pat Gill uses gestures. This is most apparent in this video, where he does that cute thing when he says Shape, Movement, and Texture. Here are screenshots of it because it’s so fucking cute, what the fuck.

I know, I know, what do gestures have to do with presenting things? Well, if you told me “shape, movement, texture”, six minutes later, I wouldn’t fucking remember any of those. But with these gestures, those words do stick. When words stick, the explanations behind those words stick as well. When words and explanations stick in your mind, congratulations dude, you just learned something! Pat Gill when talking, and whether it is scripted like this or unintentional like a random gesticulation, the movement catches my attention and I become a more rapt listener.

Honestly, I could go on and on about Pat as a communicator and---

[Before I can speak, you bolt upwards from your chair, finally having gotten the ropes loose. Quickly, powerfully, you grab the projector from the table and smash it over my head. I stumble and fall to the ground, and you look down at me as your chest heaves.

As I slowly lose consciousness, you hear me say, softly, but with so much fervor:

“Pat…..Gill…..hot.”]

Thanks for reading!

(Read my other unhinged analysis essays at actualbird.tumblr.com/tagged/nobody-asked-but. If you have a suggestion for an unhinged analysis essay I can write, send me an ask!)

References:

McGhee, Paul E. Humor: Its Origin and Development, W.H. Freeman and Company, 1979, pp. 1-41.

Purdie, Susan. The Mastery of Discourse. Harvester Wheatsheaf. 1993.

#polygon #pat gill #patrick gill #pat gill thirst jail #nobody asked but

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yoonseoksoftie · 5 years

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catching feelings.

› pairing: min yoongi x reader › word count: 2.8k › tags: idol!yoongi | fluff | angst | best friends to lovers › summary: ❝ falling in love? amazing. falling in love with your childhood best friend? not so much. ❞ › a/n: i found this draft in my docs and i decided to finished it, hope you guys like it! feedback is welcomed!

You poke at the noodles encased inside the white cardboard box with your chopsticks, gathering a hefty amount before shoving them in your mouth, savoring the taste of the greasy food with every bite of your teeth. Your best friend sits in front of you, clad in an oversized black hoodie and matching sweatpants, gazing at your not so cute stuffed noodle cheeks.

After receiving an email informing that your afternoon classes had been canceled, you texted Yoongi at the speed of light. He replied instantly to meet him at his studio after dance practice was over, which is why you are sitting cross-legged on the bare floor, surrounded by takeout boxes, a bottle of wine, and an ongoing episode of The Peaky Blinders.

“Can I help you?” you mumble around a mouthful of noodles, eyebrow raised, after you feel him look at you for a second longer than normal. His laser-like eyes turn your face a cherry color.

He only chuckles, returning to his rice whilst shaking his head, a semblance of a smile adorning his lips, like he is in on a joke you are not a part of. He fishes out a few pieces of meat and places them in your cup with his chopsticks.

“Eat up,” he motions.

“I will,” you assert, taking a few pieces of spiced chicken from a separate takeout dish and placing it on his rice bowl. “If you do too.”

Lately, you’ve noticed, everything you do with Yoongi has become a tit for tat game. He isn’t an aware participant but you’re an avid player. You’ve become fixated with every gesture he makes, too unsure if it’s something more or him simply being himself. Every time he takes a step, you move forward to meet him. It makes you wonder when you forgot Yoongi was your best friend since you were in elementary and before he became the renowned rapper, Suga.

How quickly you’ve forgotten that you promised to stay best friends forever. The promise seems to slip your mind every time he is around, which is usually most of the time. A simple touch, such as his hand on your knee has all different type of forbidden thoughts rushing through your head. Thoughts that a best friend shouldn’t, under no circumstances, have for her best friend. The worst part of it all is that Yoongi does not show any sign of feeling that way towards you.

Hand holding, late-night drives, napping together, everything is completely platonic and it is driving you mad because these are things that you could easily do in the past with no lingering thoughts of hidden meaning.

The both of you even made a pact on Christmas Eve to be each other's soulmates—which could be considered romantic if you hadn’t sealed the promise with friendship bracelets. The subject of expanding your friendship beyond anything platonic has never surfaced and you don’t know how to bring it up without confessing your undying love for him.

You sigh and stab a piece of meat through the center with your chopsticks, munching on it forcefully.

“Wow,” Yoongi lets out, an amused smile dancing on his lips. “What that poor cow ever do to you besides provide you with nutritional value?”

You level him a playful glare and stab a bigger piece of meat before downing it with even more strength, opting for a jokeful evasion to hide the friendship ending truth.

He laughs at your wrathful antics and digs into his chicken.

You fall into a comfortable silence and enjoy Thomas Shelby’s bad decision-making skills for a couple of minutes before he speaks once more, “Penny for your thoughts?”

His soft and curious words make the already alert alarms in your head ring with ferocity. Penny for your thoughts? He could pay you his entire bank account and you’d still remain silent. But, it is part of your game and you can’t refuse unless you want to come off as suspicious.

As children, when either one of you wanted to talk about something but didn’t have the guts to put it into words, you would play the penny for your thoughts game. The game allowed the two of you to have full transparency, without repercussions. At first, it was a simple game, nothing too serious.

But later, Yoongi set a ground-rule.

“All thoughts must be honest,” he conferred, raising his pointer finger in front of his slender chest. “Specifics are not a must given that it’s a safe space, but honesty is the one and only rule. Failure to abide by this rule will result in friendship termination.”

You had laughed when he first mentioned it, but shook his lissom hand in agreement regardless and obeyed the rule diligently.

Until now.

You make a gesture to show that you’ll answer his question once you are done chewing and quickly think of a way to best word your response without letting him know the truth.

“Hmm,” you pucker your lips and pretend to be in deep thoughts before slowly easing out a bit of the truth. “I want to change an aspect of my life but, I am afraid of doing so because I don’t think I can face the consequences if my… change is not successful.”

“Oh?” Yoongi’s brows rise in curiosity. “What is it that you want to change?”

His words are both a reassurance and a concern.

A reassurance because his curiosity proves that he is unaware of your feelings and a concern because he may not have any romantic feelings for you and you might have to resort to lying.

You weight your options.

Oh, the Shakespearean tragedy of it all, to confess or not to confess.

There are many alternatives for how this can turn out. Maybe he’ll understand where your feelings are coming from, and he’ll know that you mean no harm. Years of knowing someone and sharing life-altering experiences with them have a tendency of changing the way your heart reacts to them.

But understanding and accepting are two very different things.

Emotions are very complex, they sneak up into your heart and if they are not explained correctly they have the potential of endangering years of precious friendship with no regard as to how you might feel about it.

It was never your goal to fall in love with your best friend. All you ever wanted was to watch him succeed and create fun and memorable moments with him but the lines between friendship and romance somehow got blurry and you found yourself treading on very dangerous territory.

You don’t trust yourself enough to speak, so you opt for a sip of wine and pretend to pay attention to Polly scolding the Shelby brothers for the nth time.

Yoongi cocks his head to the side and you can feel the heat of his stare as he analyzes every inch of your face. You busy yourself with your food, finding the colorful mixture of vegetables inside the different bowls completely fascinating. Who would’ve thought vegetables could be so interesting.

“Hey,” He lets out softly, “look at me, sweetheart.”

His words have you tipping over the edge.

The past few months have been the most difficult of your life, and the waterfall in your eyes is pushing against your eyelids but you ram up walls around them to prevent the tears from leaking. You don’t look at him, focusing your eyes everywhere but on him. A familiar warmth spreads through your ankle and you’re too weak to fight against it. Yoongi’s hand is wrapped around your ankle and he’s unfolding your leg, placing your foot on his lap.

“Talk to me, love.”

When you fail to answer, he takes your big toe between his thumb and index finger and pulls on it, his touch burning you despite the thick material of your sock standing in between his hand and your skin.

“Talk to me,” he moves on to your next finger, pulling on it before uttering softly, “Let me help you.”

You only manage to shake your head, words failing you. The frown on his brow and the deep concern pooling inside his chocolate eyes are killing you. You’re an idiot. There’s a lump in your throat and you’re afraid it will be the end for you. You had one job, and that was to be the best best friend he could ever have, instead, you broke that promise and potentially ruined your friendship.

“We’ve been the best of friends for years,” he muses, he’s stopped pulling on your toes and is now running his thumbs along the sole of your foot. “You know me like the back of your hand and I know you inside and out. There’s nothing you could ever say that would sway my opinion of you, you know that, right?”

His words are a double-edged sword.

“I know,” you offer quietly. “I would never hide anything from you on purpose.”

“Yet, here we are,” he sighs. “You know I’m going to find out soon enough, right?”

You groan and throw your head back, letting it rest on the edge of his couch.

“Why can’t you pretend for one second that you don’t know me that all?”

He shakes his head, eyes serious. “And give up the privilege of knowing you? Not an option, sweetheart.”

You’re about to burst and he’s the only one that you can run to and confide in but doing so will ruin over five years of friendship and you don’t think you can afford to do that. Losing him will be like losing an extension of yourself. He’s been with you for so long, you don’t think you can function without him.

“It’s your turn, penny for your thoughts.”

You’re bluffing and he knows it but he humors you.

“Is it really my turn?”

You nod.

“Very well,” he says. “I’m thinking, that your Spiderman socks are so incredibly sexy, I’m having a hard time keeping it together.”

You kick him and try to free your leg from his torturing grasp.

He laughs and tightens his grip.

God, you love him. You love how easy it is to be around him. Everything is so effortless when he’s around. You slump against the couch.

“C’mon,” you whine. “I’m serious.”

“Me too.”

You laugh again, “Yoongi.”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you before he speaks. His words are serious and gentle like he’s trying to get a wounded animal to trust him. “I think I know what’s going on.”

The laughter dies in your throat.

You look at your foot and then at the door. Making a break for it would be too hard, he’ll catch you before you even stand up. He squeezes your foot and you know he’s already caught up to your plan. You don’t have much of a choice but to stay and face the consequences.

“You do?” you mumble softly, playing with your fingers.

You can’t bear to look at him, not when you’ve fucked up your entire friendship.

He hums and it is a solitary sound. That small sound sets your nerves on edge because you know that hum. You’ve heard it plenty of times before, when you’re playing a game and he figures out how to beat you, when you’re playing a trick on him and he catches up on your mischief, when you say you won’t buy him a gift for his birthday if he keeps annoying you.

It’s his knowing hum.

You can’t believe you were stupid enough to think he would never find out. Stupid enough to believe you could hide from the person that knows you the best in the world.

The tears begin spelling before you can even piece the letters together to form a proper apology.

“I—I’m so sorry,” you blurt out. “I n—never meant for this to hap—”

Your apology is interrupted by the rustling of paper bags and the dragging of cardboard. When you look up, you find Yoongi sitting right in front you and you forget how to breathe. He takes your hands in his and places a gentle kiss over your knuckles.

Yeah, you’ve definitely forgotten how to breathe.

“The rule of honesty has been broken,” he begins, his eyes are pensive and the pads of his finger wipe your tears away. “And by law, I have to terminate this friendship.”

The pieces of your heart that were hanging from their hinges are now completely shattered, and it is all your fault. The look in his eyes is too much to bear so you close your eyes, deciding you will take his last words to you as a coward.

“I’ve lied to you and for that I am sorry.”

Your eyes snap open.

Lying? Sorry? What has he been lying about? What is he sorry for? His words do not make sense to you, it’s as if he’s trying to solve a literary question with a math equation. The world is moving too fast and you’re behind, unable to catch up.

“W—what?”

He’s looking down at your joint hands.

“I had no idea my silence was causing you so much pain,” he’s frowning now, eyes burning, he licks his lips. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, had I known I would have spoken earlier.”

All you can manage to do is stare. At his eyes, his lips, his nose, his hands.

“If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would gladly like to begin a new kind of relationship with you.”

Your heart is raising, your blood is pumping at one hundred miles per hour, and your body is on fire. His words are like a broken record player inside your mind. Your love for him is tunneling through you, digging holes in your heart and filling them up with memories of him.

A new kind of relationship, could he mean—? No, that can’t be.

“Yoongi—”

He shakes his head, silently asking you to let him speak.

“You have been my best friend for a very long time. You were with me on the day I auditioned for BigHit and you have been by my side ever since, never once giving up on me. And I know I can be a hardass sometimes but—” he shakes his head and chuckles. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you and that you’re my best friend, my partner in crime and in life. The best damn thing that has happened to me.”

He stops, takes a deep breath, and looks you in the eye.

“I’m in love with you. I have been in love with you for a very long time and I have denied the feeling in my heart because I was too afraid to lose you and I thought I was doing you a favor by not telling you but now I see that you’ve been hurting because of my mistake and I—”

“You’re in love with me?”

The sky is falling and you’re waiting for it to land over your head because there is no way he just said what you think he said. Your best friend just admitted to being in love with you.

He nods, his cheeks are a light pink and he’s biting the inside of his cheek.

You lurch forward and wrap your arms around him. Without a second thought, he pulls you onto his lap and grabs onto your hips, pressing you against him until you’re chest to chest.

“You’re such an idiot Min Yoongi,” you poke his side, smiling. “But it’s okay because I’m an idiot too, I guess you can say we’re a pair of idiots.”

“Say it,” he cradles one of your cheeks in his big hand, running his thumb over your bottom lip.

You press a kiss to the pad of his thumb before saying, “I’m in love with you, Min Yoongi.”

He closes his eyes and presses his forehead to yours.

“One more time, sweetheart.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Let me kiss you,” he begs, his eyes are locked on yours and you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

You nod, feeling brave.

He angles your face with his large hand and you see his eyes flutter shut before he is pressing his soft lips to yours. You run your hands through his hair, feeling the soft locks in between your fingers. His lips mold with yours and you move at the same pace, exploring each other's mouths in peace. The kiss is gentle and slow but there is no uncertainty. You don’t think you’ve ever been kissed like this before.

He tastes of red wine and Yoongi, what an awfully good combination.

You pull away from each other slowly and he's smiling. The biggest gummy smile you have ever seen envelops his entire face and you’ve never been more enamored by it.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he fixes a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, his eyes are bright and he’s glowing. “I’m in love with my best friend and she’s in love with me.”

You nestle your face against his shoulder. “God, you’re such an idiot.”

“Maybe, but I’m your idiot.”

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cyberramblings · 4 years

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Ex-CoD Kid’s Thoughts on the New One

I wanna talk about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. This is 2019′s Call of Duty game (there is one every year). This is a little confusing because it is a reboot of the Modern Warfare sub-series that started with 2007′s Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The first three Call of Duty games were set in World War II, which is funny since the whole series is now associated with a modern or near-future setting in most of the games, to the point where 2017′s Call of Duty: WWII stood out by being set in World War II again, which hadn’t been done since 2008′s Call of Duty: World at War (which was the first one to ditch the numbers and also the first one I got into as a kid).

Anyways, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (the 2019 game, which I will now call MW) is one of the biggest leaps the series has taken in a while. These games are kind of notorious for not changing much from entry to entry. The Call of Duty franchise is also kind of notorious for alternating between three different developers in order to crank out a game every year. This gets a little weird because obviously the franchise as a whole shares a lot of traits and code in common, but for example, the Modern Warfare subseries and its corresponding characters can only be touched by one of the three developers, while another of the developers has exclusive rights to the Black Ops subseries and its characters. All this to say that yes, a new Call of Duty game, but the folks (Infinity Ward) who make it only get to make a new one every third year (formerly every other year until the PS4/Xbox One era).

Well, I guess what I mean to say here is that the Call of Duty games tend to be two steps forward, one step back. There’s actually relatively little consensus on which features to include or throw away between games. 2018′s Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 got rid of regenerating health, only for 2019′s MW to bring it back, but also bring back Black Ops 4′s healthkit item. Imagine that times a hundred every year. Even Call of Duty fans usually don’t agree on which features should return or not.

So with that all being said, MW introduces the most new features that I can recall in a Call of Duty going all the way back to its namesake (CoD4) which either invented or popularized the modern model for picking a loadout and unlocking new items for it. I want to run through a few of them and why I like them.

1 - Attachments Reborn

Call of Duty has long featured attachments for guns as an integral part of multiplayer gameplay. At first, you would have to pick between a scope or a silencer or more bullets. The red dot sights were so popular that some of the games introduced ways to have multiple attachments, but at the cost of other parts of your loadout, such as forgoing grenades. MW finally, gloriously allows you to have up to five attachments on your gun with no tradeoff.

It also features far more attachments than before, up to 70 on some guns as opposed to the dozen or so maximum before. This is because there are multiple subvariants of suppressor, stock, laser, nearly two dozen scopes even if they mostly fall under a handful of categories. This also means that attachments are less of a pure upgrade and more of a trade off, but this means you can transform almost every gun into more of a short range weapon or long range weapon. It’s really satisfying to transform a gun into something it’s not, especially when you need to for...

2 - Camo Challenges

Call of Duty the last decade has featured unlockable camouflage patterns as a reward. At first, they were an incentive to get headshots with each weapon, then later special camo challenges would be unlocked after getting all the headshot-based camos. MW skips that first step and has you unlocking ten categories of camo challenges, each with ten camos each as you complete the specific task. At first, the challenges are things like getting kills, getting headshots, getting kills while crouching, but later they become getting 3 kills in a row, getting kills from far away, etc.

What this essentially means is that every single gun in the game has 100 little milestones of progress and each of those milestones has a tangible cosmetic reward that even other players can see. After getting all 100 camos for a gun, you get the 101st camo: Gold! But it gets better: getting Gold for every gun one of a certain type (assault rifle, pistol, etc.) unlocks Platinum for all guns of that type! One step further: getting Platinum for every gun type (and thus Gold for every gun) unlocks Damascus (named after Damascus Steel), which is a cool multicolored camo. More importantly, it shows that you spent a lot of time getting these challenges done. And most importantly, it basically means that you can “beat” the multiplayer of MW.

I really like this because it gives me a goal to work towards, even if I don’t stand much of a chance of ever actually completing. It was really cool to pick a gun as my favorite right off the bat then use it at close range, long range, etc. as I completed all the milestones and unlocked all 100 camos for it, which let me “beat” that gun and move on to the next one. On one hand, I can see how the game becomes less fun when it is just a grind for these camos, but on the other hand, it is really cool to have a goal to work towards, and I have never felt as attached to the unlocks in a Call of Duty since I was a kid. I’ve almost never played Hardcore mode (a Call of Duty staple that takes away your crosshair and minimap and reduces everyone’s health) but it has become my go-to for getting some of these challenges done, and now I really have a taste for it.

3 - The Rest

MW has a bunch of other little new features that aren’t as life changing, but I wanted to mention anyways. The visuals, animation, and sound design are much improved and much more realistic. The gun sways so much more realistically as you walk forward, for example. The nighvision missions of the single player mode particularly look realistic since they’re just green. The campaign itself is much better than other recent Call of Duty’s, but it is still ultimately forgettable at the end of the day if slightly more enjoyable. I did appreciate that it gives you rewards for the multiplayer mode instead of expecting you to play it just to play it. MW also brings back the Spec Ops coop mode from prior games but with unlocks and XP tied to multiplayer, which is nice, but I’d rather just play multiplayer.

Speaking of, MW lets you toggle which modes you do or don’t want to play online instead of having to pick one mode to play, which is nice because otherwise, certain modes never get played online, especially as the game ages. Also this CoD features special “Missions” that you have to commit to focusing on one at a time that unlock free gun cosmetics (slightly different looking attachments and versions of guns) that offer yet another way to be rewarded for just playing the game, while also helping to make me experience different playstyles.

Of course, this CoD also features a free battle royale mode that seems to be a big success, and I enjyo it fairly well, but it can’t compare to the nonstop action of normal multiplayer. Also this CoD features crossplay sorted by controller typer, so I can get matched with Xbox players or PC players but only if they’re using a controller rather than a mouse and keyboard. This is great because it lets me play the free battle royale mode with my dad on my PC while he is on the PS4, so we can each have our own screen.

Also I appreciate that this game offers splitscreen at all, even if it can’t be used in battle royale, Spec Ops coop mode, or even the larger multiplayer maps such as the brand new Ground War, which features big maps, vehicles, and selectable spawn points just like the FPS competitor Battlefield. It feels a little janky, but it is nice to have the option when I need to blow up vehicles or shoot people from very far away for a challenge.

Oh, you can also reload while aiming down the sights. That’s new. Plus you can mount your gun on a waist high surface to reduce recoil, but it just ends up being annoying since you are forced to do it for challenges. Also this is minor, but certain weak killstreaks or overpowered perks have been turned into “field upgrades”, a usable ability with a cooldown. I like this because they’re not quite like an “ultimate ability” in Overwatch or Black Ops 3/4, but they add a tiny bit of a skill ceiling and agency.

Oh! This is also the first CoD in a long time to not feature a 50 dollar season pass that just provides a little over a dozen multiplayer maps. For context, the other big shooters (Rainbow Six, Counter Strike, Overwatch, Paladins, Battlefield) don’t charge for maps and haven’t in years, since it just divides the playerbase and makes matchmaking harder.

This CoD also doesn’t lock new guns behind lootboxes, which had become a big problem for the last several games. Furthermore, this game doesn’t feature lootboxes at all, which is a new development in the right direction. Instead, this game has pricey (10-20 bucks) cosmetic bundles in the style of Fortnite and a battle pass (again like Fortnite, but almost every game has this now).

Conclusion

So what’s the takeaway? Well, I know Call of Duty is a very popular game that doesn’t need defending, but I really think this new one is special and very much pro-consumer. I refused to get excited for it before release after years of microtransaction-riddled cash grabs, but this one is a real breath of fresh air. There is a lot of content here, and they provide more for free. You get to play all the new maps and modes for free and unlock the new guns for free. The battle royale and normal multiplayer are both getting a lot of support and constant content. I just hope this game doesn’t drive off the edge of a cliff when this year’s new game comes out, but that is a whole other topic (there are rumors, but nothing has been confirmed about this year’s Call of Duty if there even is one. It would need to come out pretty soon, despite no information about it existing. If there isn’t one, it would be the first year since 2004 without one, but this most recent game has been pretty exceptional in my opinion and Corona couldn’t be predicted).

#call of duty #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #cod #mw #cod mw #call of duty: modern warfare

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airsafariblog-blog · 5 years

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Gold Rush Legacy & A Small Airplane, Summer 2017, Part I

It was not love at first sight. She was standing on the short cut grass in front of a one-story building and you could tell that she had been wandering the wild of the Canadian North for a very long time. I did not find much enthusiasm in her look at me either. And yet, toward the end of our two week romance, I called her Princess with all the passion of my heart.

She was a Cessna 172, born in 1975. The paint was peeling off at places I did not even know existed on an airplane. But, as many bush pilots would be quick to point out-paint is only an added weight that keeps you from pushing more useful stuff, like fuel, food or game, to the inside (or sometimes on the outside of, for that matter) of an airplane. What was lacking on the exterior was surely not made up for in the interior of the plane. To say her cabin was “ragged” would do a gross injustice to the term. Yet, what is vital for flying machine in the Canadian wilderness? The way it flies. And fly she did! Her aerial performance was impeccable. The propeller was squeaky clean, not even the tiniest chip, her climbing was fervent, mightily sucking on the air and, as I was later to find out, she was exceptionally humble when it came to drinking gasoline and oil. Princess was simply a marvel to fly and care for.

Before I was given a chance to explore her fine features, I had to get past Eric, her proud owner and devour guardian (hence the name of Eric’s flying outfit - Guardian Angel). I arrived exhausted in Prince George, where Eric’s office was located, after some thirty hours of travel, shortly before midnight. The trip from Europe reminded me a lot of the famous opening scene of the Dead Man motion picture by Jim Jarmusch.

Johnny Depp is heading West while observing in amazement how the nature of his fellow travelers transforms the further West he gets.

The flight from Munich to Toronto was filled with travelers carrying their flawless four-wheeled carry-ons, bags full of ethereal souvenirs, stunning fragrances and fashionable spirits, chatting delightfully on the board of a jazzy jet Boeing 777-300ER. People on the board of the less flashy Airbus A321 from Toronto to Vancouver seemed to be more down to Earth. The last leg from Vancouver to Prince George was to be flown over the jagged Pacific Coast Mountains by an eager turboprop Bombardier Q400. Climbing onboard I was bewildered by the composure and dignity that beamed through the coarseness of my new journey fellows.

Our approach to Prince George began with a gentle dive into the clouds just as the sun began to sink beyond the horizon - an amazing sight. Before that, I had a nice chat with a girl sitting next to me. It was all about bears, wildlife, First Nation, the sparse yet sufficient pub landscape in Prince George, rising homelessness and drug abuse and we were both taken aback by the beauty of the sunset.

Alas, my mind was not really there. It was deeply immersed in the thoughts about the undertaking that I had been dreaming about for the past three years and that seemed even more impossible now when it was about to begin. My original fancy was to rent a small airplane and to fly through Alaska. After quite some time it proved to be a no go. No one in Alaska was willing to let their precious machines being flown over some of the least hospitable and unforgiving places in the world, especially by some flat-landed European with zero mountain flying experience. It was nothing short of a miracle when we found our Guardian Angel, Eric’s flight school, operating out of Vanderhoof and Prince George (British Columbia) who actually considered lending us a Cessna, albeit “only” for flying in the Canadian, not the Alaskan, great wild.

In the months leading up to July 2017, I read all possible bush-flying and mountain-flying material I could find. I spent hours, days really, watching training videos and searching for the right articles. All these efforts helped me realize that mountain flying might be extremely rewarding, but you better stay away from it unless you have a lot of experience under your belt, which I did not.

Let us hear an expert here. Fletcher Anderson wrote one of the most comprehensive books on the subject (Flying the Mountains, McGraw-Hill Education): “Even on the very best of days, it involves considerably more than just normal flying over exceptionally scenic terrain. The aircraft’s engine develops only a fraction of its rated horsepower at high altitude...because the air is thinner, the wing needs greater true airspeed to develop adequate lift. The pilot may also suffer from lack of available oxygen at altitudes lower than required to clear the mountains. Steep and high terrain is hard to fly over. Weather conditions, which exceeded the operating capabilities of most small aircrafts are frequent, normal occurrences, and weather can change dramatically in minutes. In addition to mountains, Alaska has the obvious extremes of vast distances and poor weather from the nearby oceans and no roads (therefore, a small airplane is 40 per cent more likely to crash in the mountains than anywhere else). According to the National Transportation Safety Board, the aviation death rate in mountain states is twice that of the nation as a whole”.

What a chipper fellow.

Upon landing in Prince George, the cabin was filled with the smell of smoke from the distance wildfires across British Columbia - an eerie feeling. The city itself is a legacy of the sparse web of centuries-old trading posts of the North-West Company throughout the big northern void. Originally inhabited by First National people, proudly calling themselves “people of the confluence of two rivers” (Fraser and Nechako rivers, to be exact), Prince George of today is more of a confluence of roads connecting South British Columbia with North, Yukon and Alaska. Lonely Planet’s account of the city is not overwhelming flattering: “The downtown, no beauty-contest winner, is compact and has some good restaurants”. You also might want to know that there is a large paper mill that generates a very particular smell, which gives Prince George away for miles and miles. The smell is a neat aviation navigation beacon, as I was to learn the following year when flying through the dense wildfire smoke. I fell in love with the city instantly nevertheless.

Eric greeted me at the small and tasteful terminal building of Prince George airport. I thought I might simply go to bed as it was close to midnight and I just flew halfway around the world. Well, I was wrong. Eric was in full swing and after being done with my car rental we headed to his office at the airport to do the proper paperwork before mountain flying training and rental checkout procedures could start the next morning.

After I finally arrived at the Downtown Motel it was almost two in the morning. The motel did not try to conceal the fact that it is an affordable place to stay at. There was still quite a number of people hanging and wandering around the neighborhood with no apparent purpose, direction or place to stay. This was yet another signature feature of Prince George. In the next morning the next day, I got myself a large cup of cheap coffee at a gas station and was ready to get back to the airport.

At Eric’s office, we started a very thorough ground training just as two helicopters lifted off from a helipad nearby. “It’s all over the radio. There is a small plane missing, that is what they are after”, uttered Eric laconically. Those books on mountain flying were not lying, apparently. You can get into trouble around here.

No wonder my learning attention - which is usually not the strongest of my skills, whatever they may be - was laser-focused on every single word Eric shared with me.

How to cross the mountain range safely, how to turn in a tight canyon, how to do an emergency landed where there is no emergency landing spot available, how to read wind direction from the aspen trees and lakes, how the eagle never dodges in the air for it is you who needs to make the move, how to avoid prop strike on soft and gravel airstrips or how the weather changes in ways you can never predict.

In the afternoon, we took to the skies with one of Eric’s instructors. The first checkout flight was a rather serene affair - slow flights, steep turns, stalls, the usual stuff.

Later that same day I was assigned another instructor - Alex, a cheerful character and a splendid pilot. We started working on my navigation skills and emergency landing procedures. I truly was not at my peak, owing this slightly to the jetlag and to the fact that I was flying in a completely foreign environment, but I muddled through. Over Fraser Lake, we had a conversation about the First Nation people in Canada, specifically around Prince George, which was when I first gave a deeper thought to their touching fate. Not that I had much time for these contemplations because Alex made me start training spins.

A spin is essentially a stall that results in a downward autorotation of the airplane usually when a pilot does not heed attention to the aircraft speed or bank angle (or, usually, both).

To be able to recover from a spin is a crucial skill, even though one usually occurs during the initial or final phase of the flight when the airplane is slow and low and there is only limited, if any, space and time for a successful recovery.

With Alex, we were flying high above the lake and our Cessna just refused to spin, so good an aerodynamic little airplane it is. Or, let me put it more correctly - I was unable to spine her. Thus, Alex took the helm and pitched her high, banked a hard right and kicked in enough of the left rudder and with an excited exclamation “spin, bitch, spin”, she reluctantly did what was asked of her. After that, I was also able to make her spin and recover, and with the jetlag still hanging around, I started to feel a bit dizzy.

Yet, the training was far from over. Here comes the “graveyard spiral” part. Its name does not imply anything friendly - and it is not. A graveyard spiral is a dive that happens usually in bad visibility or at night when the pilot becomes disoriented and cannot see the horizon. Sadly, plenty of graveyard spirals are concluded with the airplane hitting the ground at a very high-speed with a very fatal outcome. What happens is that without the outside horizontal reference the pilot does not realize the airplane is banking and descending at the same time and pulls on the yoke in order to arrest the descent which only tightens the turn and, subsequently, the descent. We do not have to go into the details here, suffice to stay that the lesson is - always trust your instruments, not your gut feeling about your attitude and - more importantly - don’t ever get into a position that you have to deal with meteorological or visibility conditions that are beyond your abilities, training or rating. A year later, not too far from the very same spot we had trained to recover from the “graveyard spiral” I was to learn both of these points the hard way in the middle of choking and deliberating wildfire smoke. But we will get to that much, much later.

What to look for in Part II?

Eric makes me turn in a tight canyon without looking outside the airplane. How to land on a logging trail in the wild. My crew arrives - how to stuff three adults and tons of equipment into a small airplane and still expect it to fly? First night in the North - Dease Lake, sea-plane trip at Atlin Lake. The madness of the Gold Rush.

#adenvture #airsafari #travel #flying #canada #wild #aviation #thrill #theworld

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simplemlmsponsoring · 5 years

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New Post has been published on http://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/internet-marketing/9-tips-for-better-faster-stronger-fitness-marketing/

9 Tips for Better, Faster, Stronger Fitness Marketing

As a graduate student studying nutrition, I felt a bit giddy when I was asked to write about fitness marketing. While I might not be the most athletically talented individual, I’ve always been intrigued by the health and wellness industry. I have secret dreams of becoming a yoga instructor but, unfortunately, opt for the couch more often than not.

Now that the new year has started and resolutions are still fresh on our minds, it is prime fitness marketing time. Your target audience is growing because more and more people are bathing in their post-holiday indulgent guilt. Ever wonder why the gym is so crowded in January? Duh, it’s calorie-burning season!

So how can fitness marketers capitalize on these peak times? This post is going to explore nine tips fitness marketers can use to grow their businesses. But first off let’s define what exactly “fitness marketing” is. There are many types of organizations that can fall under this category, including:

Local gyms, health clubs, and workout studios (barre/yoga/spin classes, etc.) Fitness/nutrition apps Fitness gear/swag (clothing, watches, etc.) Health food/supplement companies

Basically, if your company focuses on health and wellness, in terms of food and fitness, you can benefit from these marketing strategies.

#1: Entice New Prospects with Special Intro Offers

While this tip might seem applicable to many industries, it is especially important for the fitness marketing industry, because like I said, the space is crowded. According to the IHRSA (International Health, Racquet & Sportsclub association), “the $30 billion health and fitness industry in the U.S. has been growing at least 3-4% annually for the last ten years and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.”

So how can you stand out among the pack? You need a special way to entice new customers to come in. And I’m not talking a free bottle of water at your gym. Think something more generous, like a personal training session, a week of free classes, or a free first month for subscribing to use your health/wellness app. Whatever you come up with, it needs to be compelling to give prospects a taste of what they could be getting by incorporating your product or service into their lifestyle.

Take this example from a local gym that offers occasional “open house” weeks when they provide free classes to the community.

Not only does this get people interested (who doesn’t like free stuff!), but it also is likely a successful way for this gym to get new contracts signed. Once these prospects get a taste of how they could improve their lifestyle, they will be much more likely to make a financial investment towards their personal fitness.

#2: Provide Compelling Reviews and Success Stories

One of the first things I do before investing in any health or fitness product or service is binge-read reviews. Since these types of products can often be expensive and may or may not yield results, reviews are very meaningful in this industry. Not only do you, as fitness marketers, need to solicit reviews from happy customers, but you also need to incorporate these reviews into your marketing tactics.

For instance, if you have high rating on Google-approved review platforms, incorporate these into your Google search ads. Use customer quotes in your imagery for social and display ads. Or even go a step further and film a compelling customer testimonial video.

The bottom line is that if your customers are happy (which they should be), you need to leverage this to help market your business. It will make a substantial impact!

#3: Share Motivational Advice

While the thought of sharing motivational quotes might make your eyes roll, don’t worry! You can do this in a non-cheesy way. For instance, sharing success stories from past or current customers (which also ties in the tip above, extra points!). Your potential leads may be considering your fitness offerings, but they may just need that extra push to make the purchase. How can you give them this?

There are so many ways! Lose It!, The Boston-based fitness and health app often provides motivation in subtle ways with jokes, healthy recipes, and more. But their most powerful motivational pushes come from their customer success photos, like the example below.

So do not forget to motivate! This may be just the thing to encourage that lead to commit.

#4: Be Transparent about Pricing

There is nothing more frustrating than unclear pricing, whether you are unable to find pricing information online or deceived about what the pricing actually is once you’re ready to convert. In fact, doing either of those things is a great way to turn potential customers away.

Make sure you not only provide transparent information around pricing in obvious places like your website, but also make it easy to find in other places, like your paid advertisements. This will ensure you’re getting the most relevant, and most likely to convert, clicks, because these individuals will be fully aware the associated costs.

Take the example from Aaptiv below. Not only does this ad tell me what I would get through the service, but it also shares the cost twice. Even better, it lets me know right away that I can try out the product for free.

#5: Run Instagram and Facebook Ads to Your Target Audience

Hopefully this is not a ground-breaking piece of marketing advice. In fact, you may already be running these ads, but are you targeting your audience in the most effective way possible? The really neat thing about advertising on Instagram and Facebook is that you can get very specific in terms of narrowing down your audience to ensure your ads are showing to the right people, in the right location, at the right time.

Take the example below. Here, I’m targeting an audience of people within a specific zip code who are engaged shoppers, newly engaged, and interested in weight training and yoga.

This targeting allows you to make your content laser focused on this audience. For instance, in the example above, you can craft copy about your product speaking to newly engaged brides and grooms who are looking to get fit for their upcoming wedding.

This strategy adds another level of personalization to your advertising that makes your prospects feel heard and understood – and it may even compel them to convert!

#6: Boost Your Budgets during Key “Weight Loss” Seasons

If you are in the fitness industry, you’re likely often tailoring your marketing toward individuals who are looking to accomplish some weight-loss-related goal, whether it’s to drop a few extra pounds or to make a larger lifestyle change.

The thing about weight loss is that motivation often strikes during specific times of the year. There are the most obvious times, like New Years and right before a spring break or beach season. But you can also think outside the box, like wedding season or once the post-Thanksgiving bloat sets in. It may be different depending on where your business is located (think about the changes in weather), and the trends that your organization has seen in that past. Take into consideration all of these factors and use it to your marketing benefit by boosting your budget during these key times. Also make sure to do a stronger marketing push by becoming organized with engaging and seasonally relevant campaigns.

#7: Go the Old Fashion Route and Mail Some Postcards

Call me old fashioned, but there is something to say about getting a beautiful postcard delivered right to your home mailbox. Not only do I get extremely excited when I get mail, but it also instantly catches my attention when something is personally addressed to me. While mail campaigns were a big thing back in the day, with the rapid-fire growth of the internet and online advertising platforms like Google, Twitter, and Facebook, it’s easy to throw mailing campaigns on the backburner (with the heat off).

Now is the time to get back in the mail game! Create a beautiful hand-written postcard addressing your lead by name and making them feel special. Whether you’re sending a season greeting or promoting a special entry offer, get creative with your mailing campaigns to spark the attention of your future customers.

#8: Provide a Trial, and Make Sure It’s Approachable

The biggest hurdle to joining a fitness program for many is not even financially related; it’s motivation related. It often requires changing a routine and lifestyle that one has lived and felt comfortable in for years. This is why you, as the fitness marketer, need to break down any entry barriers for your potential customers.

One great way to do this is by offering a trial that allows leads to try out your service for a set period of time. Whether you are promoting a physical location like a gym or an online app, there is typically a way to offer a trial period. And I’m not talking about a 30-minute consultation at your gym. Rather, allow new potential customers to come in for a week or so. Giving them time to make this decision will increase the chances of getting a contract signed. They’ll be able to actually start making a new fitness goal part of their day-to-day and see that it is possible if you allow them to test the waters before committing.

#9 Remarket to Remind Leads Why They Should Sign Up

One powerful tool that every fitness marketer should have in their toolbox is the power of remarketing! Remarketing will allow you to encourage those on the edge, interested, but not ready to commit leads to come back and learn more. As we’ve discussed in previous tips, it can be tough to commit to a new fitness product or service so reminding leads what they are missing out on in a gentle way is key.

Configure remarketing ads through Google and social networks, ensuring they are relevant to that audience segment. For example, if you are promoting a specific boot camp program make sure your ads are relevant to the leads who have been visiting those pages or interacting with related content. Keeping things as relevant as possible will ensure your remarketing ads don’t feel intrusive.

Tis the season to get your fitness marketing on track and turn all of your leads into your fit brand ambassadors who will be raving about how your product or service made an impact on their lifestyle and overall health. How powerful is that?