#make some stupid little hate comment about inclusive language
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Things I really want TRAs to get through their fucking skulls.
B*tch, c*nt, and wh*re are misogynistic slurs. This isn’t something I am ever going to debate. These are derogatory terms used specifically against women and using them against women doesn’t make them less of a slur. Using them because ‘in some places c*nt isn’t a slur’ doesn’t make them less of a slur. Also, I’m literally fucking British and have lived in Scotland for some years now so before you start with the whole ‘but in some places it’s completely normalised and used commonly’: it’s not. I have heard some men use it to insult their friends, but it’s not thrown around constantly and is still typically used to degrade women.
R*tard is an ableist slur which should also never be used. (And, to be honest, lots of radfems need to learn this one too.)
We don’t want trans people dead. We don’t want them to struggle and be without help. We just disagree on the help that they should get. You think the only way to help them is to validate their gender and help them to change their entire body in the hope that might make them feel better. We think that mental health support designed to help them cope with their body issues is a much more effective form of support. No situation involves killing them or letting them all commit suicide. We want those who are genuinely struggling to get help.
Slight caveat to the point above: the males who fetishise womanhood and being a lesbian and who aren’t struggling with their body and their identity but just get off to being in a dress and want lesbians to fuck them? They don’t deserve help. They’re pornsick men. But the ones who really are struggling and just trying to get by do need help.
Your community is homophobic as shit. Saying that it’s just a ‘small minority’ who support genital preferences and say rejecting trans people is transphobic and call lesbians TERFs for not liking dick does not fix the problem and only serves to diminish what those who have been at the receiving end of this hateful and homophobic rhetoric have been through. You need to start speaking up against this rhetoric and telling people that it’s not fucking okay. You need to start taking a stand anytime someone says lesbians need to learn to like (girl)dick or to have a sexless relationship with a trans woman to be inclusive or uses the term genital preference (certainly if they’re saying it’s wrong/that people can learn to get over a ‘preference’; but even saying that it’s okay is homophobic because an inherent sexuality is not a preference).
Your community is misogynistic. Even ignoring the fact that the idea that trans women are women and that they know exactly what womanhood is like is misogynistic in and of itself, trans ideology is deeply misogynistic. It’s not okay to use misogynistic slurs, even against women you don’t like. It’s not okay to send rape threats to women, even ones you don’t like. It’s deeply misogynistic to blame all transphobia on TERFs when it’s men who are typically in charge of laws being changed and men who are the ones going around assaulting and mustering trans women. And it’s deeply misogynistic to tell women to get the fuck over themselves and learn to deal with having trans women in their spaces. Women built female spaces for a reason and you are completely ignoring our sex-based oppression which is deeply misogynistic.
Oh, and trans inclusive language? That’s misogynistic to. Forcing women to refer to themselves by their organs and functions especially when women have been seen as little more than their organs/reproductive abilities; making this language completely inaccessible to many women, especially those who speak English as a second language; forcing this language almost exclusively on women while men are still called men (or sometimes just cis men to be a little more specific); and telling any woman who has a problem with it, regardless of their reasoning, to get over themselves? That’s all deeply misogynistic.
Self-ID will be dangerous. I don’t care what stupid reasoning you come up with it not being dangerous because it will be. Men have and will continue to pretend to be women to access those spaces and creep on women because self-ID means that all they have to do is claim that they’re a woman and suddenly it’s transphobic for them to not be allowed to enter. There is no ‘you can tell the difference’ because it doesn’t matter what your personal opinion of that person is: if they say that they are a woman, they have to be allowed into women’s spaces and creepy men will abuse that. (And, no, you can’t argue that trans women ‘have always used women’s spaces and it’s been fine’ because we both know that we live in a different time now. It’s no long a very, very small number of trans people who genuinely tried their hardest to pass as the opposite sex. So unless you’re happy to exclude non-transitioning and non-passing trans people from the spaces which match their ‘gender’, these are the only options.)
Keeping spaces sex-segregated is the only viable alternative to self-ID for most public spaces. I’m happy to hear any ideas of how you’re going to make sure that only trans women can access women’s spaces and that cis men will never be able abuse self-ID to get in, but I don’t think such a solution exists. Therefore, I will continue to defend these spaces being sex-segregated because that’s the best way to ensure that the women in these spaces are safe from the abuses of males.
Continuing to scream that we’re so worried about sharing spaces with trans women ignores what you’re actually asking for in regards to self-ID. As above, literally any person will be able to say ‘I’m a woman’ and access these spaces so while you may focus on the ‘genuine’ trans women who just want to use the bathroom and be more comfortable than they would be in the male spaces, we worried about every single male abusing the existence of self-ID in order to abuse women. Remember what self-ID is: anyone can identify as any gender at any time just by claiming that they are that gender.
‘You shouldn’t be scared of public bathrooms because the bathroom in your home is gender neutral’ is the stupidest fucking argument. Like, I’m sorry, but how fucking idiotic do you have to be to think that comparing a private and public space is not only a good idea but will also support your point? You share a bathroom in your house with people you choose to live with and invite over; you share a public bathroom with strangers. Do you not understand that people can be comfortable sharing a space with family and friends, but uncomfortable sharing with literal fucking strangers who don’t always have the best intentions???
Saying women are adult human females or that they have vaginas does not reduce women down to their organs and you are ignorant as shit is you continue to repeat this lie. Reducing someone to their organs (or any other feature) means that you think the only important/significant thing about them, that you view them as being only of value because of this feature. You know like conservatives saying that women are only valuable/useful for sex and giving birth to children? That’s what reducing women to their organs really means. Stating the common characteristic shared by a certain group does not mean you view the whole group as being valued for that one thing. It’s why no one says that lesbians are female homosexuals reduces lesbians to their sexuality: because, in this case, we recognise that we are stating the shared characteristic that lesbians have.
Radfems don’t believe in gender as a concept. If you’re talking about how radfems believe sex = gender then your argument is already flawed. If you’re talking about radfems believing in gender in any way then your argument is already flawed. We believe in the existence of biological sex and recognise its impact on people in current society, fighting for rights of women who are discriminated against on the basis of their sex. We use the words women and girls which describe people of the female sex based upon their age: adults are women and minors are girls. Men and boys work similarly. These terms are therefore sex-based, not gendered/gender-based. We believe that, functionally, gender is a set of misogynistic stereotypes which tells people (though especially women) how they are supposed to act and serves no purpose in society other than to make people continually question themselves and force people into little boxes. We believe that TRAs and conservatives have gone two different ways with gender and both are harmful: conservatives telling people that they must follow gender roles based on their biological sex and TRAs telling people to identify with a gender based upon what gender roles they like/take up.
Define woman. Please. All we want is a coherent definition of woman which doesn’t rely on stereotypes, debunked brain sex, circular reasoning, or calling it ‘a feeling’. No one has ever been able to give us a coherent definition.
Yeah, brain sex has been debunked after some fucking massive studies into it. Turns out, it was always rooted in misogyny and most of the previous studies were basically just confirmation bias to ‘prove’ that men and women are ‘wired differently’ to give a scientific foundation to all the misogynistic stereotypes surrounding women. Once you account for brain size, we’re really not all that different after all. So no, a trans woman cannot just be born with a female brain; a trans man cannot just be born with a male brain. No such thing exists.
Which argument do you want: there is absolutely no difference between cis and trans people and therefore many people have probably had crushes on trans people without knowing it OR trans people are in danger of being abused/raped/murdered specifically because they’re trans? Because the first argument would suggest that trans people could never be targeted for being trans because people will always see them as their chosen gender and the only people who would know that they’re trans is people that they’ve told but the latter point means trans people are targeted because people can see that they’re trans and therefore many/most trans people don’t pass and so it’s unlikely that people have had all these crushes on trans people because it’s fairly obvious that they’re trans? Because I’m willing to admit that some trans people really do pass and I would not know that they’re trans unless directly told, but the percentage who pass that well is minuscule and hardly representative of all trans people.
Your community is racist. Stop leaning on the whole ‘black women had their womanhood denied from them like trans women are’. Black women weren’t seen as women because they were seen as less than human; they were still viewed as female which is why they were raped and forced through pregnancies. Stop saying that attributes we say are more likely to be found in men are more commonly found in black women therefore we see black women as men. That’s an argument used in bad faith and you know it. Like please learn the difference between ‘more commonly found’ and ‘exclusively found’.
Your community is intersexist. Intersex people are not pawns to be used in your argument. Like 0.1% of the population having a condition which genuinely makes their biological sex more complicated than male or female does not disprove the sex binary and, if anything, the fact that these people struggle with many health problems and are typically infertile goes to show that the sex binary does exist. Moreover, if gender is completely different from sex then conditions which make your biological sex complicated/mixed should say nothing about gender. (And yes, I said 0.1% of the population even though intersex conditions occur at a higher rate than that because most intersex conditions don’t make your sex more complicated than male or female so only a small percentage of intersex conditions overall make people’s biological sex complicated.)
Shut the fuck about PCOS. My condition is not to be used in your arguments. Radfems have never used my condition against me or called me less of a woman for it, so you don’t get to say I’m less female for it either or tell me that you somehow know that radfems see PCOS sufferers that way. You’re the one who abused the existence of my condition and implies that I’m not fully female to make some backwards arguments. You’re the ones abusing the existence of my condition.
Going one step further than PCOS, shut up about women without a uterus or ovaries or post-menopausal women. We know they’re fucking women, dipshits. They’re still adult human females, just ones who are older, went through some trauma which resulted in surgical removal of their sex organs, or had a developmental issue in utero which resulted in them not developing certain organs. (See that I said developmental issue? Because you know what we call people who didn’t grow a uterus but that’s not a problem/issue at all? Men.)
A lot of your views of gender are based on stereotypes. A lot more than you’re willing to admit. You can try to pretend that you’re above all the stereotypes and I’m certain that you genuinely believe that you are, but no one has been able to define woman without referring to brain sex (which is normally just down to stereotypes and debunked anyway) or just straight up stereotypes. And so many people list various stereotypes as one of the reasons they knew that they were trans or non-binary. Even when people say that they don’t ‘feel connected to womanhood’ or whatever as a reason why they’re NB, it’s often because they’re androgynous or not completely feminine 100% of the time. They won’t ever admit that as being the reason, but you can see from how they speak about womanhood and their disconnect to it that it’s true.
Not everything is a fucking dog whistle! A dogwhistle is an inconspicuous term/phrase/symbol which a group uses and only those who are within the group recognise. Like how 88 is a white supremacist number because H is the 8th letter of the alphabet so it’s HH which is Heil Hitler or how ‘I just want the trains to run on time’ is a fascist phrase because it refers to people saying that Mussolini was bad but at least he got the trains to run on time. The only thing that might be considered a radfem dog whistle is TIM/TIF, not because it has a secret double meaning that only we recognise, but because it’s a term which radfems typically use and often isn’t understood outside of radfem circles. It stands for Trans Identified Male/Female and we mean exactly that. We don’t have things that secretly mean that trans people should die. We say exactly what we mean but you just choose to believe the secret meaning you made up over what we are directly telling you, probably because ‘I hate all trans people and I want them to all die’ isn’t something we say.
Saying that we only care about what genitals we have is a simplification of our views which is basically incorrect and used to ignore all our actual issues while making us out to look like creeps. Do you also not understand the homophobic history behind it? Being used against gay people to ask why they were so obsessed with what genitals someone had and why they couldn’t be with the opposite sex? (I’ll answer that: of course you don’t give a shit because you don’t care about homophobia or using homophobic rhetoric which supports your ideology.) We don’t actually care about if someone has a dick or vagina. We care about the fact that the dick havers were raised with male socialisation and that means that they experience life differently from us. We care about the fact that the penis owners are much more likely to abuse women and that far too many will do whatever it takes to be around vulnerable women so that they can abuse them. We care about the fact that we have faced specific issues because we have vaginas both directly (eg: menstruation and childbirth) and indirectly (eg: period stigma, medical misogyny, catcalling, and other forms of discrimination) and we want spaces away from the very people who uphold this misogynistic system to be able to discuss our issues openly. But you constantly ignore all of these issues and make it out to be just about genitals because you ignore our arguments and want to make it out like we’re fucking idiots.
‘Here’s six women. One of them is a trans woman. Guess who’ Isn’t the argument that you think it is. Firstly, literally no one is saying that trans people cannot pass at all. No one. Of course we understand that SOME trans people do pass really well and we would never be able to differentiate them from actual women. Secondly, just because they appear like women doesn’t make them women. They are still biologically male and hence a man. It really doesn’t matter how feminine or well passing they are; they’re men. Thirdly, it is not representative of all trans people. Yes, some people pass well but the photos you show are almost exclusively of rich models who are wearing heavy makeup and who’ve had extensive work done which isn’t accessible to most trans people and you’re basically telling them that if they can’t pass so well then they must not be women. Isn’t that wrong by your own ideology? Fourthly, you really going to do that and then accuse us of saying that women must be feminine? Really? And finally, this is almost always used as a trap against us, hence why we often refuse to respond, but you’re not proving anything. You’re not fighting against any of our arguments; you just think you’re fighting against the whole sexual dimorphism and generally being able to tell women and men apart but being able to generally do something doesn’t mean that there aren’t exceptions? Exceptions don’t make the rule.
I’m not here to argue about what I would believe in some theoretical utopia. I’m here to argue about what is happening in reality. I’ve heard the line ‘but would sex be important if we lived in a society which didn’t discriminate against people by their sex/gender aside from when medically necessary?’ way too much. And the answer is no, but we don’t live in that world and that world is not going to exist within my lifetime at the very least, probably not for centuries. We live in a world where women are treated differently because of their sex. We live in a world where period stigma and medical misogyny and catcalling and rape and domestic violence and devaluation of women’s labour all exist, among other deeply misogynistic issues. So me fighting to get people to recognise that sex is an important characteristic and defending it’s legal protections is not because I deeply believe that it should be an important thing, but because the way in which women are treated by society, particularly at the hands of men, shows that we have built a world in which someone’s sex is an important characteristic and which will affect many aspect of our lives and hence we need to recognise the reality of the world in which we live in. If the end goal is to build a world in which sex is irrelevant outside of medicine then we first need to recognise why it’s not a reality now and work to fix that rather than pretending that everyone’s going to go along with us and misogyny will completely disappear overnight or arguing the what-ifs of this purely theoretical world that we will not live to see.
Radical feminism is about freeing women from their sex-based oppression and fighting for sex-based rights. As a result, males of all genders all inherently excluded from our feminism. To say that we exclude trans people completely is ignoring the fact that trans men and AFAB non-binary people are included in our fight for women’s rights because, regardless of how they identify, they have and will continue to be oppressed on the basis of their sex and they deserve rights to protect them from that discrimination. Your unhappiness that we’re only including people on the basis of their sex is not my fucking problem. Your unhappiness over trans women specifically not being included is not my fucking problem. Movements which seek to free people from their oppression don’t owe it to you to include everyone, they only have to include the oppressed people that they are fighting for. Your inability to understand that is not my fucking problem and only goes to show your entitlement.
If you don’t argue with me in good faith, don’t except me to argue in good faith either. If you’re going to twist my words, ignore what I say, tell me my sources are wrong with no evidence (or tell me that it’s not a source you like/trust enough), and refuse to respond to many of my points then don’t expect me to do the same. I have tried way too many times to argue in good faith only to end up having my points ignored, my sources dismissed, my words twisted if not just straight up having words put into my mouth. If you are not going to be open minded when you talk to me, don’t expect me to put the time in to explain things to you. If you are rude or dismissive or ignoring me or not asking questions, I’m not going to put in all the mental and emotional labour to explain concepts to you and you have not ‘won’ the argument if I have enough and stop responding. You are not owed our time and effort and you should never expect it just because you claim that you ‘really want to learn’.
Please learn some critical thinking skills. I know radfems say this all the time, but I really mean it. If not to understand radfems more, but to be critical of literally all the information that you absorb. I am tired of explaining to people that just because you don’t like or trust the source (like the Daily Mail) doesn’t mean that the actual story itself is untrue. Newspapers like this are incredibly bias and will publish stories which feed into their specific narrative, but it doesn’t mean that what they publish is actually false? Unless you can actually find a source which can tell me that whatever story I’m showing you never happened/was objectively false, I’m going to keep using it. A story which goes against your beliefs doesn’t make it a fake. Biases in newspapers come from the stories which they choose to publish (or not publish), the details they focus on, and the wording they use. My favourite example of this is a few years back when every newspaper was publishing articles about how the Labour and Tory proposed budgets were never going to work/actually balance because the assumptions they used weren’t right. The Daily Mail, however, published only that Labour’s proposed budget wasn’t going to work. Was the story correct? Yes. Did they purposefully leave out information which therefore gave a bias perspective of the two budgets? Absolutely. If you throw everything out which has any biases (which was a thing a TRA I argued with claimed you should do and said that was what they were taught to do), you would have to throw out literally everything ever written. Instead, it’s significantly better to be critical of what you read and understand what biases are in place and why.
#I will probably be adding to this list at some point#also interesting that when TRAs used to come and ate on my blog that my pinned post was often a target#make some stupid little hate comment about inclusive language#telling me that I am *inclusive language* so it’s factually correct/accurate#or telling me about the importance of inclusive language because OBVIOUSLY I just hate it because I don’t understand#but this#this they’re silent on#radical feminism#trans ignorance#gender critical#masterpost
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Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks
Sarifinasnightmare's Answers...
✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit) Heaven Created You For Love. I think I can make it sadder.
💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write? 💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? The Taming of the Winter Soldier series. I need to do some serious editing.
🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with? 🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic? The Yankee and the Southern Belle. I wrote a chapter a day while working full time. It was exhausting!!
🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going? When something I wrote didn't make the impact with the audience.
🌿how does creating make you feel? 🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life? I've allowed myself to say things and do things I won't do.
🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing. Your writing is fearless. Don't ever be afraid.
🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? 🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!) I write when the muse hits and I always try to make each story different from the last one.
💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language. The worldbuilding. I need to form the environment first so I know the challenges.
💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? Someone once wrote that the B plot of one of my stories was unnecessary and I was like, the story just started why would you make a call like that without giving it a chance?
🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"? Immortal Beloveds, probably too long and too weird.
🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you? Immortal Beloved. It was supposed to be a one shot....then it became something else.
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it. Stealing the Groom - It's a cute little Greek myth.
🍭why did you start writing? 💎why is writing important to you? 📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom? I read so much fanfic and I guess as an avid reader I thought to try it out. Stories are timeless and inclusive. If there isn't a story that meets your needs then write it.
🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic? When I finish a fic I just post and sleep. I take a week or two off to hang out with friends and family.
🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of? Oh Sherrie, Our Love because it's funny.
🤲what do YOU get out of writing? Practice and I love a challenge.
💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer? Hell yes!
☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety? I am not a social person, but I engage when engaged. I hate to ignore people who make an effort to talk to me. I like talking about stories since its all a learning experience to me.
🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to? When I was young I would take things to heart, but now I analyze what they say if they're offering an honest critique. If it's just stupidity then I delete the comment or ignore. Don't feed the trolls.
💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! I am currently writing something a lot grittier and ugly with a slow burn. I hope people will be okay with it.
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Here are my two cents on the whole Oliver/Twitter drama. (Not that anyone asked for my opinion, but here it is anyway.)
Firstly, I must say that bullying anyone is disgusting. As a victim of bullying myself, I do not wish it upon my worst enemy. But the way, some of you are approaching the situation baffles me. So Oliver, a grown man who's profession requires a little bit of a thick skin cannot take an (insensitive and kinda stupid) joke and you call it bullying, and then YOU END UP BULLYING the girl who wrote it? Is this the Bible? Is this an eye for an eye thing now? Really? This is what's wrong with celebrity culture. In the eyes of the stans, their chosen one cannot be at fault. Shite on an a shingle, how can you be like that? And some of you saying because she is 18 makes it okay? Really? REALLY?
Secondly, I agree, the joke was not defined as a joke, it was not particularly humorous, but it was obviously one. I can't believe Oliver took it seriously. I imagine it's hurtful reading something like that, but you are a celebrity! Imagine being a FEMALE celebrity and going through the same and on top of that getting unrequited comments about your body from creeps. Or being an ACTUAL FIRE FIGHER. Or an doctor/nurse during a pandemic. Or a customer service employee during the pandemic. What I am saying is, everyone's job is different in a variety of ways and we have to get used to it somehow. You have to stop excusing people's behaviour just because they are famous!
More over, from what I gathered, this is not Oliver's first time pulling something like this and it's strange and worrisome.
Let's talk about the show real quick, too. For a show that is trying to present itself as inclusive, it sure is failing. The gay characters are underdeveloped and kinda stereotypical to say the least. I am talking about Josh and Michael in particular. I like how Hen is portrayed, tho. Also, what's the point of all this foreshadowing of Buck being bi/pan/gay if they are not planning to make him part of the LGBTQ+ community? It wasn't just an accident once or twice, that the fans made up themselves. There were countless times they mentioned it and nothing is going on? AND Y'ALL SAYING IT'S NOT QUEERBAITING? It sure sounds queerbaiting to me!
Lastly, the way Oliver responded to this, makes me think that all this promotion and this fiasco is 1) a stunt for promoting the show and 2) BUDDIE IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. What's the point of being so defensive if it was happening anyways. I hate to burst your bubble, but the producers and writers will continue queerbating us for viewership.
In conclusion: BE NICE TO PEOPLE. DON'T PUT CELEBRITES ON A PIEDESTAL. PROTECT THE PEOPLE ON THE FIRST LINE. STOP QUEERBATING. LBGTQ+ POWER. PIECE AND LOVE! <3
PS. Please excuse my grammar mistakes if any, English is not my first language.
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11 celebrities who've been called out for homophobic comments
This is gonna be interesting...
1. In 2020, Twitter users accused J.K. Rowling of transphobia after comments she made on Twitter. Rowling tweeted, "'People who menstruate.' I'm sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?" Fans on social media quickly told the writer she was not being inclusive to the transgender community. Rowling backed up her statement by tweeting, "I respect every trans person's right to live any way that feels authentic and comfortable to them. I'd march with you if you were discriminated against on the basis of being trans. At the same time, my life has been shaped by being female. I do not believe it's hateful to say so." She also said, "I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he's a woman – and, as I've said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth."
2. Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the Academy Awards after his old homophobic comments surfaced, saying, "I am evolving and want to continue to do so."
Between 2009 and 2010, Kevin Hart made insensitive jokes on Twitter and in his standup specials. For example, in one tweet, the comedian said he would break a dollhouse over his son's head if it turned out he was gay. In his 2010 special, "Seriously Funny," he reiterated the point that he would act abusively if his son was gay. "I wouldn't tell that joke today, because when I said it, the times weren't as sensitive as they are now," Hart later told Rolling Stone. "I think we love to make big deals out of things that aren't necessarily big deals, because we can. These things become public spectacles. So why set yourself up for failure?" When it was announced that Hart was going to be the host of the Oscars in 2018, his past jokes resurfaced. After backlash from the public, Hart stepped down as host. "I have made the choice to step down from hosting this year's Oscar's....this is because I do not want to be a distraction on a night that should be celebrated by so many amazing talented artists," he wrote in a tweet. "I sincerely apologize to the LGBTQ community for my insensitive words from my past … I am evolving and want to continue to do so. My goal is to bring people together not tear us apart."
3. After Paris Hilton was caught criticizing the gay community in an audio recording, she apologized, saying, "Gay people are the strongest and most inspiring people I know." In 2012, an audio recording of Paris Hilton in a taxi cab was leaked. According to reports, she was in the car with a gay man who was showing her the gay dating app, Grindr. In the audio, you can hear Hilton say, "Gay guys are the horniest people in the world. They're disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS. ... I would be so scared if I were a gay guy. You'll like, die of AIDS." Her publicist confirmed that the recording was in fact Hilton but emphasized the socialite was not homophobic. (Are they sure about this? God...) In an apology statement, Hilton said, "I am so sorry and so upset that I caused pain to my gay friends, fans, and their families. Gay people are the strongest and most inspiring people I know."
4. After a member of the audience called out Tracy Morgan for his homophobic remarks during a standup set, the comedian apologized. In 2011, a man chronicled Tracy Morgan's standup set in Nashville on Facebook. In the post, the man said Morgan said being gay is a choice because "God makes no mistakes." The comedian also allegedly said he would stab his son if he came out as gay. (Kevin Hart, you here?) After backlash and a half-hearted apology on "Late Show with David Letterman," Morgan issued an official apology. "I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville," he said. "I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context." (Good sir. There is more to LGBTQ+ then just gays and lesbians)
5. Sarah Silverman used a gay slur in a 2010 tweet. When asked about it in 2018, she said, "I'm certainly creative enough to think of other words besides that that don't hurt people." In 2010, Sarah Silverman tweeted, "I don't mean this in a hateful way but the new bachelorette's a f-----." Although the tweet went relatively unnoticed at the time, it picked up momentum again in 2018 when people pointed out that it was unfair for Kevin Hart to step down from hosting the Oscars for doing something similar. "Yea, I'm done with that," Silverman told TMZ when she was asked about it in 2018. "I think I can find other ways to be funny. I used to say 'gay' all the time like, 'That's so gay!' Because we're from Boston. We'd go, 'That's what you say in Boston. I have gay friends. I just say gay.' Then I heard myself, and I realized I was like the guy who'd say, 'What? I say colored. I have colored friends.' I realized it's stupid, and I'm certainly creative enough to think of other words besides that that don't hurt people. But I fuck up all the time."
6. Eminem has been criticized for using gay slurs in his songs, but he insists he isn't homophobic. In 2018, Eminem released his album, "Kamikaze." In one song titled "The Fall," he focuses on fellow rapper Tyler, The Creator. In the song, Eminem raps," "Tyler create nothin', I see why you called yourself a f----t, bitch." This wasn't the first time rapper had been criticized for using a gay slut. Throughout his career, he has used similar words in his songs and received a lot of criticism for it. Eminem, however, insists he is not homophobic. "The honest-to-God truth is that none of that matters to me: I have no issue with someone's sexuality, religion, race, none of that," the rapper told Vulture. "Anyone who's followed my music knows I'm against bullies — that's why I hate that f---ing bully Trump — and I hate the idea that a kid who's gay might get s--- for it."
7. Mel Gibson mocked how gay men act in the early '90s. While doing an interview in 2001 for Spanish newspaper El Pais, Gibson said, "With this look, who's going to think I'm gay? I don't lend myself to that type of confusion. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" Throughout the '90s, GLAAD protested Gibson's films, but the actor refused to apologize. "I'll apologize when hell freeze over," he said. "They can f--- off."
8. Alec Baldwin went on a homophobic Twitter rant against a reporter he did not agree with. He later said his remarks were "in no way was the result of homophobia." In 2013, Daily Mail reporter George Stark wrote a story accusing Alec Baldwin's wife, Hilaria, of tweeting at James Gandolfini's funeral. Baldwin took to Twitter to express his anger at Stark, calling the reporter a "toxic little queen," among other comments. In an interview with the Gothamist after the incident, Baldwin stood by his decision to call the reporter a "queen." "The idea of me calling this guy a 'queen' and that being something that people thought is homophobic … a queen to me has a different meaning. It's somebody who's just above," he told the publication. "It doesn't have any necessarily sexual connotations," Baldwin said. "To me a queen ... I know women that act queeny, I know men that are straight that act queeny, and I know gay men that act queeny. It doesn't have to be a definite sexual connotation or a homophobic connotation." He later issued an official apology, according to The Hollywood Reporter. "My anger was directed at Mr. Stark for blatantly lying and disseminating libelous information about my wife and her conduct at our friend's funeral service. As someone who fights against homophobia, I apologize," Baldwin said. "I would not advocate violence against someone for being gay, and I hope that my friends at GLAAD and the gay community understand that my attack on Mr. Stark in no way was the result of homophobia."
9. Chris Brown also used homophobic language (no shockers there) when talking about another rapper, but he later said, "I love all my gay fans." In 2010, rapper Raz provoked Chris Brown when he tweeted about Brown's past assault on Rihanna. Brown responded by attacking Raz on Twitter, referencing the fact that Raz was molested by another man as a child and calling him a "#homothug." "I'm not homophobic! He's just disrespectful," Brown tweeted later. "BTW…I love all my gay fans and this immature act is not targeted at you!!!! Love."
10. Azealia Banks has a long history of problematic comments, but she has since said she will no longer use gay slurs. In 2015, singer Azealia Banks was caught on camera yelling at a flight attendant after getting into a fight with a fellow passenger. In the video, you can hear Banks call the flight attendant a gay slur, according to HuffPost.She later tweeted about the incident, writing, "I don't care. I've said it before and I'll say it again."Banks' history with the word doesn't stop there. In 2016, she used the word to attack fellow singer Zayn Malik on Twitter, leading to the deactivation of her account. She has also called the LGBTQ community "the gay white KKK. Get some pink hoods and unicorns and rally down rodeo drive."In 2016, however, she announced she is never using the gay slur again. "The amount of people that get hurt when I use the word vs. the amount of people I've said it to are just not worth it," she wrote on Facebook. "Honestly... This isn't a cop-out, it's just me realizing that words hurt. and while I may be immune to every word and be thicker skinned than most, it doesn't mean that I get to go around treating people with the same toughness that made my skin so thick."
11. Drake Bell received backlash after posting a transphobic tweet. He later called the remarks "thoughtless." When Caitlin Jenner came out as transgender in 2015, Nickelodeon actor and singer Drake Bell tweeted, "Sorry...still calling you Bruce." After receiving backlash, he deleted the tweet and then posted another, misgendering Jenner. "I'm not dissing him! I just don't want to forget his legacy! He is the greatest athlete of all time," Bell tweeted. "Chill out!" After that, he tweeted out an apology. "I sincerely apologize for my thoughtless insensitive remarks," Bell wrote. "I in no way meant to hurt or demean those going through a similar journey. Although my comments were made in innocence, I deeply regret the negative effect they've had on so many."
Here are some tweets that were mentioned earlier (I couldn't find all of them)
So... yeah
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new york’s very own NESSA LOCKE was spotted on broadway street in 𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓶𝔂 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸 𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓼 . your resemblance to kylie jenner is unreal . according to tmz , you just have your twenty two birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being finicky , but also alluring . i guess being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be expensive diamonds clinging to delicate fingers , makeup swatches on tan skin , & wine induced giggles .
GREETINGS , cuties . i’m gi , 9teen , and go by she and her pronouns . i kind of suck at introductions ? so please excuse all of the rambling and unnecessary comments that are throughout this . nessa is kind of my baby ? so im super super excited to bring her into this group and play her once again and even more excited to write with all of you !!!!!! everything you need to know about her is under the cut , and if you want to plot please give this a heart and we can do so ( or message me on discord , 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲#1776 )
* basics
FULL NAME. nessa ryan locke .
NAME MEANING. pure , holy ; butterfly .
REASONING. it was suppose to be vanessa but somehow ended up being just nessa by the time she was actually born .
NICKNAMES. ness , nessy .
PREFERRED NAME. ness and/or nessa .
BIRTH DATE. november third , nineteen ninety eight .
AGE. twenty two .
ZODIAC. scorpio .
GENDER. cis female .
PRONOUNS. she and her .
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. heterosexual .
CURRENT LOCATION. moved to new york city at the age of nineteen , ( click here to see her residence ) .
PLACE OF BIRTH. los angeles , california .
HOMETOWN. los angeles , california .
FATHER. jared locke , actor .
MOTHER. jillian locke , former model .
SIBLINGS. nirvana locke , emerson locke .
BIRTH ORDER. youngest .
PETS. wolfie , husky .
HAIR COLOR. originally a black color , though it tends to go from black to a light brown and/or a blonde color .
EYE COLOR. brown , but she takes pride in the small specks of green .
DOMINANT HAND. right .
HEIGHT. five ft six .
TATTOOS. nessa has five tattoo’s all together , the first one being something that resembles the fire emoji on her right inner hip she got with her group of friends . she has a rose on the left side of her boob , which she got strictly because she thought it was pretty . she has two butterflies behind her left ear , a smiley face on her right upper butt cheek , and finally the words , ‘ take care ‘ tattooed on her right arm .
PIERCINGS. she has five holes on her right ear and seven holes on her left ear .
DRUGS / ALCOHOL / SMOKING. no ( beside smoking weed here and there ) , yes , no .
SOUNDTRACK. self care , mac miller . angel , the weeknd . fetish , selena gomez . bitter , fletcher . july , noah cyrus . bad news , kehlani . after hours , the weeknd . needy , ariana grande . save myself , ed sheeran . p*$$y fairy , jhene aiko . girls in the hood , megan thee stallion .
AESTHETICS. emerald hues forming into a distant memory , soft laughter in the dead of the night , luxurious material clinging to honeyed skin , tired hues , the glow of neon lights lightening up a dark room .
LINKS. here’s her pinterest !!
FUN FACTS. she has a three year old husky , whom she treats as though she carried him around for nine months . she has a obsession with acrylic nails , you will always find her with something different every two weeks . she always has her toes painted , usually baby something baby pink , baby blue . she enjoys switching up her look which includes hair changes whether it be sporting a wig or actually dyeing it . has a talent of painting but normally doesn’t have the time or inspiration to do so . a music bug , she has to be listening to tunes if she’s cleaning , cooking , bathing ... hates the gym more then anything but has a personal trainer ( she spends most of the time avoiding ) to kick her ass in shape . rarely diets and with this she has a bad habit of eating whatever her body craves . she loves waffle fries , and prefers a burger over a chicken sandwich . she hates neon green , don’t fight her on this . she’s a bit of a car junkie and constantly purchases them despite not needing to . her worst habit is online shopping , she will spend thousand of dollars at ONE store .
* background .
stranded at the age of five , a stuffed elephant in hand and confusion lingering on skin . only small glimpses of heart felt moments to ease the tears . one moment she was there , and the next she somehow slipped through the cracks . not even the power of hollywood being able to track down the angelic emerald hued model . instead , her father had to wrap his arms around his three children and fabricate a story that would not shatter their delicate hearts . but the damage was already done .
drenched in sovereignty and affluence , the privilege of being privilege had always been a reality , even before the disappearance of her mother . a celebrity child , grew up in the spotlight and had ears filled with comments from millions who did not know her . not a sob story , unless you considered her mommy issues . inherited her father’s ambition and her mom’s trust issues . started branding herself at the age of seventeen , a trend setter . the title of social media personality was granted to nessa before it was even a thing , and she did not stop there . ventured into the beauty industry , building an empire from top to bottom . and eventually even created a fashion line with her older sister , even after all the red warnings .
but the finer things in life did not come with all blessings . her delicate hands drenched in cold glue , shattered pieces clinging for their lives with expectations of being put back together again . adored and envied by the world , but the outside looking in did not see bent back constantly picking up pieces of her sisters who crumbled with even the softest poke . addiction controlling every aspect of her sisters lives , and the relationship she shared with them . it’s never been pretty to watch the ones you love self destruct and take everything you love and trust down with them .. hard to look them in the eyes as anger and heartache consumes you . and even harder to forgive .
forever fighting the demons her mother instored in her , and the demons her sister’s stir up . her only breath of fresh air being her daddy , and the way he always has her back ( no favorites are played but we all know ) , and the life she helped build for herself . wants to be rid of hands that hold her back and take and take until she has nothing left , and instead plunge into the world of living for herself and new york city granted the brunette that opportunity .
* personality .
affection sings to her in the form of a love song , her love language . digits itch to hold friends hands , and lean on lovers shoulders . uses pet names like her vocabulary only consists of the word angel and baby . a chatter bug that hides vulnerability with ebullience and teasing manners . impulsiveness that jumps out at all the wrong times , and a carelessness that teams up with her pettiness to make all the wrong choices . feels replaceable and easily disposable , makes her fear of ever letting anyone get too close . finicky , hard to please and even harder to totally figure out , some would say she’s hot and cold . tries to stay out of her head with burying herself in work . knows how it feels to feel like you are nothing , and fills that whole with giving back as much as she can . silly and sometimes ditzy . loves too hard for her own good , and has a bad habit of letting people back in even when they do not deserve it or her .. has a softness that’s desperate to escape . hates love because she understands what it can do to you and loves just as much for the same reason . built a wall around her heart to avoid adding any more scars , and will save you before she saves herself . holds on to people a little too tight , because she hates going through the process of letting people in all over again . a twenty something year old who craves a mother’s touch but holds a grudge that sometimes causes her to miss out on people . always just wants to feel like she’s worth making sacrifices for .
* career .
kylie cosmetics ? nessa cosmetics , a brand built at seventeen years old and has only grown from there . collections that consist of collabs with close friends and family ( when she’s talking to them ) , and season / holiday collections . does something for her birthday , november third , every year . has a collection dedicated to her zodiac sign , scorpio . constantly changing her formula to better her brand , and does everything hands on . does most of her work from her office . can find her instagram stories to be her swatching her latest products . favorite thing of hers being her eye shadows ( applaud for the pigmented ) . good quality , inclusive and diverse ( more then actual kylie cosmetics ) is the most important thing when it comes to her brand .
launched nessa skin a single year ago , and has worked on it for the last three years . her latest child , and plans to only grow it . skin has always been super important to nessa , and delivering her supporters with products that will actually work is her main priority .
a youtube channel with ten million subscribers , youtuber as a second job . it starting as a hobby and a way of connecting with supporters to becoming something she cannot imagine not doing . her channel consists of mixed content such from fashion hauls to makeup videos to even vlogs that involved her friends ( and family ) doing stupid things .
em & ness , a clothing brand her and her sister are developing . features trendy street wear , more to come soon .
* connections
the childhood friend that reminds her of simpler times , mud pies in the back yard and riding their bikes around the neighborhood . secrets and promises of being friends forever that felt secure but feel short . bonded forever maybe , but constantly feeling like strangers . ( or they could still be close friends )
the family friend that their parent(s) swore were going to end up together , though if the two caught any talk of that would scrunch their nose ups and shake their head . or at least they did for a while , until lines started to fade and the comfortableness felt like something more .. not together now , but constantly a what if , the idea still runs in their minds but is a friendship worth something that might not work out
a friendship or more so platonic soulmates , if you see one you know the other is not far behind . they are somewhat extensions of one another , swear they cannot survive without one another . the one person nessa trusts the most , someone who has never hurt her or left her . her person .
the bad influence that plays on her impulsiveness . talks her head up to get even or take that tenth shot because why the fuck not . anytime something bad almost happened , like that time we almost got a fine , she was with this person . and while she adores them , she knows they aren’t exactly the best for her .
the friend group you cannot help but envy , constantly plastered on one anothers instragram feeds . has their own groupchat that does nothing but blow up . shopping trips in italy and vacations in greece . do not always get along but there is always love in between them . they are constantly in her vlogs , and would kind of be like her very own vlog squad .
the friends with benefits who swear they are just friends , and the sex means nothing . despite the fact that they linger a little too long in one another’s bed . and the promises of this will not ruin anything become blurry when they connect on a deeper level . and it gets confusing when their affectionate comes to surface , but regardless they are just friends .
a trio of three friends who are always seen together , best friends could be the world to use to describe them ( bonus points if its all girls ) .
the heart breaker , the person that fucked her up for good . ruined the way she loved and left her with a lot of regret and heart ache . she swear she hates them , but she hates how much she loved them and how close they got to her . hates how they went from knowing her more then anyone to being someone she cannot even look in the eyes anymore ( bonus points if it involves them cheating on her , extra bonus points if it’s angsty as hell )
the drinking buddy she confides in , a glass of wine and a lot of shit talking that always end up in talking about personal matters . they are a ear and someone to lean on .
the on and off fling , their back and forth being nessa and her refusal to let them in completely . her feelings for them scare her , and she’s not ready to walk down the road of being with someone again .
other things i want include ; unlikely friends , enemies to friends , friends to enemies , lovers to friends , friends to lover , ex best friend , ex friends in general , ex friends who miss each other terribly , other youtubers she collabs with , other ceo’s of makeup brands / skin brands she has a rivalry with because the media made it seem like they hated one another .
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Ranma 2/4
Yup... I’m doing it... yes this how I plan, shut up
Part One: Chapters 1-12
Genderfluid Ranma Saotome
Bisexual Akane Tendo
BAMF!Akane if it kills me
More modern America take on LGBTQIA+ themes
Bisexual Ryoga Hibiki
Fuck the Kunos
Full Series AU because I am a fool who doesn’t know restraint
Magic Rules are a thing
I am actually going to keep a consistent timeline if it kills me
I have a PLAN
Very Minor changes to the actual plot cuz economics
Bad Parenting is addressed
Harassment is Addressed
I will make them acknowledge Physics/Medical because I’m an asshole
Pulling from both the Anime and the Manga
Still working through the Manga as I plot
Friendly reminder that Genma is crap
Friendly reminder that Nodoka is crazy
Poor Mousse
Soun Tendo TRIES really hard but grief fucking sucks
Nabiki is morally grey
Toxic Shampoo
Kasumi gets Character Development or so help me
polyship cuz surprises
I promise I do love this anime
I’m just stunned that so many people didn’t get a lot of character development
Actual fucking ENDING
I do actually hate Shampoo tho
I watch dubs
Ranma slowly starts using they/them pronouns vs switching
Ranma wears a bra, fuck you
Yes I’m using 2020 LGBT stuff BUT I will keep the tech as close to the 90s as I can (tho fair warning I was BORN in the 90s)
Toxic Masculinity addressed (yes I mean Ranma’s)
Ranma is awkward as hell
bc that’s what happens when you isolate a child, Genma!
Also, they spent closer to 1-2 months in China bc of how many things happen while they’re there
Homophobic/Transphobic Language
Ranma uses Ranko WAY more often cuz it makes sense
Tatewaki is actually not as stupid as he is in canon, but he’s worse
Kodachi… on the other hand... IS stupid
Canon Heights are used (hence the “actual magic” tag, it’s how Kuno explains it and is still wrong)
Ranma is a shitty liar, and trusts his friends (kinda)
I’ve never like Shampoo, I don't hide that
While reading the manga I’ve realized how often Ranma wears a hat in the early chapters
I love it
Laws Exist
Rule Enforcement
Adults aren’t useless
Demiromantic Ranma
Ace/Demisexual Ranma (I haven’t decided yet)
Demiromantic Akane
Pansexual Ryoga
YES Akane is Bisexual AND Demiromantic. It’s a thing!
Genma is a sonnova bitch and piece o shit
Diasuke x Hiroshi
Sayuri x Yuka
Polyamory discussions
Hiroshi x Yuka
Protective Ranma
Protective Akane
Protective Ryoga
Tendos adopt Ryoga bc they care
Cologne sucks, I didn’t realize that was justified until now
Minor Anime over Manga Arc Choices
People aren’t oblivious those around Ranma a lot pick up on the transformation thing (eventually)
Ryoga’s crush on Akane turns into something normal, I may be ~Aro but even I know that’s bad
The “Akane Can’t Cook” Joke was funny once or twice; NOT the whole series Akane learns to cook
WAY fucking sooner than she did in the Anime
Look, I get the stereotype but it’s NOT funny!
Manga Chapt6Pt3 cover gave me too many ideas for what I want to do to Ryoga & IDK how I feel (Tiny pigtailed girl Ryoga is just too cute that I want to drop him the niángnìquán)
I will use Wiki-Mandarin-Spellings for Jusenkyo Springs cuz I don’t understand a lick of Chinese
Certain Arcs will be skipped entirely because I HATED THEM (any time they showed up)!
YEET Tea Ceremony Arc(s), mainly cuz an outsider I didn’t get it like I’m sure I was supposed to
If I could just kill Happosai I would, but I can’t
Expect him to be VERY dead/gone post-Canon
Fair warning tho cuz I hate him more than I hate Shampoo or Cologne
Shampoo still sucks
I wish the scene w Hiro/Dai was in the Anime cuz it’s hilarious
Ranma’s hat is back! I love it!
Is… is Ranma ADHD or is that me projecting again?
God, these two are hopeless dorks
Was someone going to TELL me that Ranma’s classmates figured out the transformation BEFORE the Romeo thing or was I just supposed to sit there stunned when it happened?!?
Goddammit, I hate Romeo and Julliet
I don’t mean the ep, I mean the play/movie/etc cuz my school years have done it 1.6 million times that I just can’t stand it anymore
Gosunkugi… wtf is wrong with you?
STILL hate this play
I’m American, ok
this has been shoved down my throat since I was 8 so It never occured to me that Ranma not knowing Romeo & Julliet at all wouldn’t be weird
Ranma learns his lines (kinda)
Kuno is 600% the reason they go off script
...And Gosunkugi being creepy af
TBH where they go off script (like Akane’s sleep scene) I’ll probs redo purely cuz I know this play
Still hate this play
Lol, tape ain’t a thing, that’s hilarious
Ranma kissing Kuno, yes
Akane kissing Ranma, NO
It’s called FAKING it
You either get over it or learn to fake it
Is it wrong that it’s tempting to get rid of P-chan in chapt8?
Don’t answer that… I know it is
Akane you need to learn to trust Ranma
Like seriously… that’s the 1 thing that drove me batty
100% going for the Anime version of the Japanese Speong of Drowned Man cuz it’s funnier
(I’m still tempted to change Ryoga)
Since the Cookie thing came before any comment about Akane’s cooking (Anime) I just figured Ranma was like me and can’t eat a ton of processed sugar (yes, make you that sick) so... HEADCANON!!
But Ranma’s still awkward af talking about it
Yup, subbing out Sasuke for Gosunkugi
Ranma not realizing his dad was committing crimes NEEDS to be handled better
I see angst potential
Ukyo is def still cis-fem, that point at least works
Ukyo’s dad is NOT in the clear here
Friendly reminder that Genma TOLD Mr. Kuonji that Ranma had a fiancée
Jealous Ranma’s fun
Ranma… just cuz you’ve 6.5k fiancé doesn’t mean everyone does
I’m just saying, Ryoga only falls for Ranma
Is Ranma wearing a binder while cursed bad? I honestly don’t know…
Poor Ranma, I’d DIE!
Obvs changing the rules of the pill from “first person of the opp sex”
I’m thinking “first person you’d be attracted to” cuz it’s nice and inclusive and won’t make someone fall for someone they wouldn’t normally
I’m just tryin’ to avoid some gayboy from fallin’ for a girl or some straight girl fallin’ for a girl
I mean Ranma’s still gonna Insta Cologne
Rule gets stricter the longer the pill lasts
also incest needs to be excluded
Look, I am NOT condoning Mousse’s obsession
but Shampoo still sucks
Is me making Tsubasa mtf bad?
Someone tell me cuz I’m not sure
I think I accidentally made Ukyo transphobic… oops
Redemption? Hopefully, idk yet
Do you realize how much anti LGBT shit I have to work through?!?
Tsubasa’s issue is 600% that she’s a lesbian so Ranma being a guy (even sometimes) weirds her out which for the record is FINE since they haven’t been dating at all & Ranma didn’t tell her!
The ½ white ½ brown dog IS actually Ryoga’s?!?
I didn’t know I needed this!
Also she’s staying!
Is Sasuke an Anime character?!?! Idk how I feel about this…
Ranma is a little shit & I love it
My idea may’ve been wrong (and Ranma!) but I love the idea had that I’m tempted do it anyway
Alright, Ranma is def going too far… even I can admit that
I’m quite sad this arc wasn’t animated
I don’t know which one I want! Kuno sick vs sneezing cat?
I can’t pick!
They’re both perfect!
Yup, Shampoo is evil
Akane… tone down the weapons kay?
#ranma 1/2#ranma saotome#ranma#ranma ½#akane tendo#ryoga hibiki#fanfiction writing#fic plots#shampoo#mousse#cologne#can i kill Happosai?!?#PLEASE#kasumi tendo#nabiki tendo#soun tendo#genma saotome#nodoka saotome
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Katsura Hashino is a Big Fat Creep and Other Observations
(for the record all uses of the word “queer” in this post are meant in the academic sense as shorthand for a wide umbrella group of gender and sexual minorities and not as a slur i hope that is evident from my past history and status as Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls but let it never be said i don’t cover my ass)
A few weeks ago, Catherine: Full Body Edition or whatever gross subtitle it got was released. Catherine has had a very checkered history as one of those games that is just kind of slimy, though it has endured with a cult following and a surprisingly successful competitive community by way of the game's multiplayer mode where you compete to see who can climb The Dream Sex Tower the best. Honestly, I don't know that much about Catherine because it is difficult to think of a game that repulses me more on a visceral level, but I want to do my due diligence and not talk out my ass. One of Catherine's initial claims to fame was that it was by Atlus Japan, specifically the same people who made the much beloved Persona games. This is evident in the game's art, music, overall style of delivery, and being basically hate speech.
The original Catherine was a greasy, misogynistic mess with some really vile politics about trans people in particular. Deadnaming your own fictional character in the credits is some next level petty malice. Full Body returns with, stupendously, a double down on this ideology that is actually kind of comical in how convoluted it gets in trying to decry the Degenerate Queer Lifestyle. The game adds a scene with Rin, who is apparently a gay crossdresser from space(???????), getting slapped away and running away crying from their love interest after he learns The Terrible Truth. In another game, with a different writing team, this could have been a teachable moment about the destructive consequences of taking too narrow a view of human sexuality and gender expression, but as it stands it's just another tiresome example of Trans Panic with a sheepish admonishment from the other characters that gosh maybe slapping their hand away was a mean thing to do.
So we're already firing on all cylinders here, but the best is yet to come. The bulk of the outcry comes from the addition of a weird "true ending" cutscene where Catherine, who is also from space, goes back in time to make everybody's life better. Or something. This is already pretty stupid on the face of it because its Fucking Time Travel Out of Nowhere, but the scene then depicts a pre-transition Erica, the game's trans character who got deadnamed in the credits the last time. There has been a lot of exceptionally tedious discussion about exactly when this scene takes place in the game's chronology and what it means for Erica, and some brain geniuses have tied their thinkmeats into pretzel shapes to prove definitively that all this means is that she delayed her transition in this Better Timeline, that might not actually be better, because Catherine is weird and selfish, maybe. And. Fine. Sure. Okay. Let's accept that for now. Given the game's previous track record, and continuing insistence on using Erica's pretransition name in the credits even in the rerelease, it is meanspirited at best to show her before her transition at all (many real life trans people would be utterly mortified for such a thing to happen to them) and overall just in poor taste and pretty lousy writing at that because it's so unclear what any of this actually means. Since the game has not yet received an official english localization, the context of this scene is to begin with muddled by amateur translators on the internet all with slightly conflicting interpretations of the scene. It's a fucking mess, by and large.
So I would disagree that this is a fake controversy manufactured by those damnable essjaydubyas. Even with the most charitable interpretation possible, it's still just really sketchy and gross. Erica's english voice actress, who seems to be very fond of the character, has been vocal about her dissatisfaction with the new scenes on twitter and has recently come out to say that the localization team is going to try and take some steps to make things less blatantly hateful. Between this and Jennifer Hale's recent tweet about it being time to grab our pitchforks in response to Activision-Blizzard's mass layoffs, I'm starting to think that voice actresses are pretty cool. I mean honestly I always thought that but we're getting off topic. One of the top competitive Catherine players, who was by all accounts really hyped for the release of Full Body, just straight up said on twitter that he was quitting the game because he couldn't support something like that in good conscience. I don't know if he's remained consistent on this position since, but it was a bold statement, to say the least.
Now, whenever an incident like this happens, the inevitable string of More-Progressive-Than-Thou white boys who watched an anime once and thought the bouncing titties were a little much appears to start pontificating about the cause of such untoward elements in media. And it's basically all just a bunch of Orientalist bullshit. Every time. For whatever reason, people still really love to be racist towards Japanese people because it's still sort of socially acceptable when couched in the language of "oh japan!!! ecks dee" and so the neverending procession of softboi neckbeards declared with confidence that Atlus's continual inclusion of Actual Hate Speech towards LGBTQ+ people was the result of the inscrutable Japanese Mind and its Mysterious, Antiquated Culture. Many mentions of the philosophy of Wa, wherein the nail that stands out gets pounded down, and lots of very lovely psuedointellectual claptrap. Evidently, people just seem to think that queer people don't live in Japan, or that they don't fight just as hard as we do for equal rights and protections under the law. They do live there, and they do fight as hard as we do. Obviously. You fucking imbeciles.
In their quest to clearly illustrate their moral and intellectual superiority to the backward, collectivist Asiatic Peoples, these highly reasonable and enlightened manboys forsook a very important logical principle: Occam's Razor. Sure, you could blame jApAnEsE cUlTuRe for Atlus's impropieties and just conveniently ignore all of the fantastic queer media it has produced in recent years like My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Horou Muskou, Nier Automata, etc. Or you could go for the simpler and more logically consistent option: Katsura Hashino is a big fat creep. Who is Hashino, you ask? He is the director of every Persona game since 3, as well as Catherine, and all of these games' gross shit and self-contradictory themes of self-acceptance and rebellion against an unust society (unless you're gay, ew) can probably be traced to him and his gaggle of accomplices. In addition to the fact that Atlus games not by Hashino's team tend to just. not have these problems to nearly as large a degree or even at all, Hashino himself has gone on record saying some really kind of hilariously backwards shit. Most infamously, when asked why in Persona 3 literally all of your social links with girls ended up with Hot Makeout Sessions regardless of like. Previously Committed to Relationships. Hashino simply said he couldn't imagine friendships between boys and girls. So that's where his brain is at. Since subsequent games in the series graciously allowed the player the option to not be a Huge Cheating Bastard, one can assume either his moral development has progressed past early puberty or somebody on the team convinced him this wasn't actually a normal thing to think. Given the man's output, I would say it's probably the latter.
It is because of this man's decisions and behavior that so many people are simply unwilling to give Full Body the benefit of the doubt. The game's director is, quite simply, a well known louse, and not in the endearing, Roger Smith way. Once again, it requires far fewer leaps in logic to assume that Hashino is just being a bigoted creep again than to go through some fuckin galaxy brain Kingdom Hearts-esque dot-connecting to justify it as just a LITTLE BIT bigoted not REALLY SUPER bigoted, or simply blaming the whole ordeal on some strange ineffable property of the Japanese Character. He's a gremlin! An overgrown manchild with a warped view of human interaction and society put in charge of games about exploring those concepts for.... reasons. My bet is that his dad knew somebody and then Persona 3 was successful enough for the rest of Atlus to just go "alright fine let him do it while we do mainline games". Unfortunately, Persona became so popular that the mainline games sort of switched places and became side-projects, at least in the eyes of the Western consumer base (which let's be real is the only perspective that any of these Serious Online Commentators even pretend to care about).
So I would once again caution everyone against just assuming that Japan is some sort of quaint anachronistic country of weird gameshows and backwards social mores. This is both a gross oversimplification of an entire culture and the struggles of their own subgroups and minorities and simply a grand display of lacking self-awareness. Like have you fucking seen the guys in the White House? The preposterous media that gets routinely greenlit on prime time TV, theaters, and digitally? Don't make me laugh. The West has no claim to any sort of progressive superiority to anybody else. The white cishet bubble of comfortable middle class affluence might distort what you see of the rest of the world, but believe me: we got problems too. Big ones. Even the presupposed bastions of Demsoc Virtue like Sweden have an awful track record of discrimination and eugenics. But Dazzlyn that's different, you cry! All of these groups and forces don't represent the entirety of Western culture! Yes. Exactly. Oppression is not culturally bound like cuisine or art. It is a nasty, universal thing that worms its way into everything, and it will use any excuse it can find to murder and exploit. It's against Christian values! It represents a genetic defect that must be purged! It's ostentatious and immature! The list goes on. And every time you giggle and go "oh those silly japanese" you're just being another expression of the same vile ideas.
I'm going to relate some of my own personal experiences, because as a noted Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls, I feel like maybe I have some authority on the matter? Just a little? Enough that if I make a well reasoned argument it can't be dismissed out of hand? Let's hope. So, what's the gayest game I've ever played? Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn. Look yeah I know I'm talking about it again but come back this is important. Final Fantasy is a series that has had a lot of LGBTQ+ undertones pretty much since forever, and while they have largely been in keeping with the times in terms of tact and representation (the Crossdressing Cloud debacle is a deeply bizarre, uncomfortable sequence in a lot of ways but there's also some genuine Good Gay Shit in 7 like Cloud's surprisingly cute and genuine date with Barret. I think. It's... it's been a while.), by God, it was at least there, and 13 had honest to god Lesbians, Harold in Fang and Vanille. I don't want to say it has pedigree, but the series has dabbled. XIV continues on the tradition with a vibrant world that's actually got a lot of characters and NPCs that are just incidentally there and kind of gay. The adventurer couple that befriended the Tonberries in Wanderer's Palace, a vendor that appeared in the Rising cosplaying as Minfilia at her wife's behest, a miqote lady bathing in the oasis that lets on she wouldn't mind having cute girls stare at her instead of grabby boys, every horny Elezen in Ishgard, Samson and Guydelot (shoutouts to Lulumi Lumi), and probably more that I've missed. More than that, though, is that because FFXIV is an MMO, it is by necessity a social space, and in my experience it has been one that has gone out of its way to be inclusive to everybody, from the GMs handling reports of abusive behavior right up to the top decision makers who made same sex player marriages a thing just immediately on its implementation and letting boys wear the gold saucer bunny costume too (albeit after quite a bit of pleading). The game's got a huge queer community of which I am kind of part of sort of. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to it. Hell, they've recently partnered with a pride group in Australia to have an FFXIV float in a parade. I usually turn my nose up at such things as meaningless corporate grandstanding, but it does seem to be more meaningful than two boy pastas getting married or rainbow colored oreos because like. Cheesy as it sounds, it's more than just a brand to a lot of people, it's a place, sometimes the only place, they can go to feel safe and accepted in a community. Having official, vocal support from the dev team means genuinely a lot, I think.
Now, there is one quality about this game of which I am speaking that might strike you as noteworthy: it is Japanese. It's made by Japanese people, in Japan, under a Japanese company. A middle aged Japanese man goes up on stage in Gunbreaker cosplay to speak in Japanese about the upcoming expansion, while a meme obsessed gremlin translates for him. It's not perfect, there are problems, etcetera, why do I even need to qualify that in 2019, when everything sucks, god. But it's better than most things. I hope that it serves as an example to people that even in the supposedly regressive countries of the world, queer communities are still living, fighting, and sometimes even being heard, and that the only thing you're enriching by dismissing them wholesale as socially backwards is your own internet penis. And nobody fucking cares about that you simpleton. I expect 5.0 to be gayer than ever before because they're taming up with Yoko Taro to do a Nier themed raid and by the 12 Warrior of Light Dazzyn Reed is going to kiss 2B or an equivalent model right on the robot lips.
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The Only Exception
Probably one of the best imagines I’ve ever written. This really shows how great a request can turn out if you give plenty of details!
Ellie remembered everything.
No, she didn’t have an eidetic memory.
But she remembered you, through and through.
She remembered the first fight you had.
Ellie had been so jealous that day. You weren’t even together, just close friends harboring secret feelings.
You’d been getting close with Rogue.
“She’s dangerous, Y/N, that’s why I care!” Ellie lied, not wanting you to know how she felt.
“Are you joking?! We’re all dangerous, Eleanor!” You’d turned to her, the two of you arguing in her room alone. She hated it when you used her whole first name. It meant you were serious, and you were supposed to be the light-hearted one here.
“I- You- You just don’t understand!” She’d moved closer to you to emphasize her point.
“Well, educate me then!” you retort, also stepping closer.
You always beautiful to her, even when you were angry. Maybe that should’ve been a warning sign.
The first real fight in your relationship also led to the first kiss in your relationship.
She’d taken your face in her hands and pressed her lips to yours, and you’d frozen. It scared her, but you responded, so that was good.
“Oh,” you’d breathed, your scowl fading into a pleasantly surprised grin. “That’s it.”
“Yeah,” she’d said, letting go of your face. “So.. I guess you can go now. I get it if you don’t want to be around me anymore.”
“I- Uh, I kissed you back? Did you miss that part, or something?” you sass, and she feels a smile tug at her lips. She really does try to fight it, to keep frowning… But you really were able to dig under that facade of harshness and brush the dusty rubble off of her happiness, her amusement.
That too should’ve been a warning sign.
Ellie also remembers your first time together. Well, it was the first time with anyone for both of you, being teenagers.
It had been planned pretty well.
There wasn’t an itinerary or anything, but the two of you had agreed on a date.
“May the fourth,” you’d told her on April the twenty-second. She remembered that day, too.
“Why May the fourth?” she’d asked.
“May the fourth be with you,” you had said.
Once again, she tries to look a little bit unenthused. But she can’t. You were just too funny to her.
It was the worst pun ever, but she’d snickered.
Another warning sign she’d missed.
The night of the fourth, the two of you were both a little nervous.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” the two of you asked each other in unison, sitting on her bed. Her roommate was having a sleepover in someone else’s dorm that night.
“Yeah,” she’d said.
“Yeah,” you’d echoed with a smile. It was pretty. You were pretty. She kissed you. That’s how these things started, right? A touch, a kiss, a sigh. A smile, that worked, too.
She was gentle, you were gentle, and it was a little awkward, but a little perfect.
You were perfect.
Warning sign, what is it now, four?
And this is where it gets sad.
Because Ellie remembers the first time you’d told her you loved her.
You’d been on a mission with the Avengers. Apparently they needed a shapeshifter, and that was you.
She’d asked you to call her when it was over.
You did.
“Hey, E.”
“Hey, Y/N. How was the mission?”
“It was.. A mission. Turns out pretending to be a spy with a head worth a million dollars is very nerve-wracking.”
“Y/N, what the hell?! You could’ve been killed!”
“But I wasn’t! ..Uh, I think I gotta go. I love you.” It’d slipped out of your lips. You meant it, but you hadn’t meant to tell her over the phone.
She’s silent.
“..Sorry. See you tomorrow, I’ll be on the first flight in.”
Ellie remains silent, not even moving until the dial tone stops. She locks her phone.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love you. Ellie just didn’t believe in love. It was like not believing in ghosts after having had a paranormal experience. It was irrational, but so were ghosts, and love, and other truly inexplicable things, like the way salt tastes and why people hate the LGBT+ community so much.
She’d watched her parents scream and fight. She’d heard other stories of it falling through. It just didn’t stick. How could something everlasting not work? Love was a lie.
And as mutants, it would never work. You could’ve been killed today, and for what? To save a world that wanted you dead anyway.
So, maybe Ellie did believe in love.
Maybe she did love you back.
Maybe, just maybe, she knew that.
But would you ever know?
Then, she’d thought, maybe one day. Now, though, she didn’t know.
But let’s continue.
Now, Ellie remembered the last argument you’d had in your relationship.
It was a few days after The Incident. Her roommate was out for her great-grandmother’s funeral. Ellie had tried to initiate, y’know.. Y’know?
You’d pushed her away.
“You don’t even love me, so what’s the point?” you’d asked. There was an edge to your voice, but it was more sad than anything. For her, though, it’d always been easier to argue than to be vulnerable, to admit the truth. That she was scared. Scared of losing you. Losing you to growth apart, losing you to death, losing you to someone else. Losing you to her own faults.
“So, what, you’re just gonna throw that in my face all the time, now?”
“This is the first time I’ve mentioned it.” You look at her with a tense expression, taken a little aback by what she’d said despite being the one to start the conversation about The Incident.
“Verbally,” she argues. “You’ve been putting a distance between us since what happened.”
“For good reason, you hurt me.”
“I hurt you? You can’t just spring something on someone like that!”
“We’ve been together for almost a year, Ellie! You wanna see springing something on someone?! Fine. I’m leaving,” you spat, throwing her door open and slamming it behind you.
Ellie is too overcome with emotion to cry.
She’d really messed up. She didn’t think you’d leave. Thought maybe it’d get quiet. Maybe you two wouldn’t hook up, but you’d kiss. The two of you would apologize. You’d be in her arms, and you two of you would fall asleep like that. Things wouldn’t be perfect, but they would be, because you were there.
But you weren’t there.
Not then, not now, and maybe not ever again.
Because after you’d left, one of the people you’d sabotaged by faking the SHIELD agent’s death came after you and kidnapped you.
Colossus wasn’t letting Ellie in for the debriefing. She’d be allowed to help, because the Avengers and the X-Men were on good terms and neither group was inhumane, but she wouldn’t get to blow anyone up. She wouldn’t get to make them pay, no. She doesn’t speak to anyone but Colossus. They could’ve asked another shapeshifter, you weren’t the only one. But no, it just had to be you.
Ellie’s knee bounces.
“It’s going to be alright,” Black Widow (or, as you called her “hell on wheels”) tried to reassure Ellie. She’d left the conference room first, and was sitting in one of the three chairs on the hallway. She’s in the chair farthest from Ellie. Colossus was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the corridor, as his body was far too big for the tiny seats.
Ellie glares at the woman, who immediately looks away. The redhead looks to Colossus, who immediately speaks.
“I understand you are angry, Ellie. Things will be okay. We will find her, and save her. It is what we do.”
“Well, we’re not doing it fucking fast enough, Piotr.”
Colossus looks taken aback at her language, but makes no comment.
Ellie’s knee bounces faster, smoke beginning to curl off of her body.
“We found her, and we have a plan.” Tony Stark himself exits the conference, and Ellie wants to punch him. How could any of them let this happen to you?! How could she let you leave?! How could she not tell you she loved you too?! “Fury’s given us authorization to begin our operation, as we’ve gathered intel about the location already. We’ll bring her home.”
“Or bring home to her,” Colossus corrects with a reassuring smile to Ellie.
“Is it safe to bring a kid in?” A blonde man asks. Steve Rogers, Captain America. He’d followed Stark out of the conference room.
“Well, she’s clearly capable of defending herself,” Stark argues. Ellie wants to punch him significantly less because of this.
“I have already approved my trainee’s inclusion in this mission. It is not your decision to make.”
Colossus looks to Ellie for a sign of improvement on her mood. She’s no longer smoking. That’s good.
The group finds their way to some discreet-looking vans. Colossus and Ellie get into one, and the Avengers, sans Bruce Banner and Thor, get into the others.
The twenty-minute drive takes a century and only a second, all at the same time.
They separate into squads, going into separate areas of the abandoned, run-down building that used to host offices for rent. Like for doctors and lawyers.
That’s when Ellie hears it.
“If you hate me so much, then just kill me!” A strained laugh from you.
A smack. A stranger’s voice speaks.
“I want you to suffer for the problems you have caused me.”
“You stupid son of a bitch. The longer you take, the more likely it is that someone will realize I’m gone. They’ll know it was you, they’re not idiots. Unlike, well, you.”
A punch.
“Ow, that hurts. So much.”
You usually weren’t snarky like that, that was Ellie’s thing. Something was wrong. Oh, right, you were being tortured. The group (Ellie, Piotr, and a few SHIELD agents) bust in. All five SHIELD agents have their guns trained on him. One lowers theirs, going to arrest the man.
Everything around is a buzz as Ellie rushes towards you, working at the ropes swiftly and practically yanking you out of your chair to embrace you. You can’t reciprocate, as she has a crushing grip around your entire body.
“I love you, I love you so much. I’m sorry. I love you.” She keeps repeating it, not caring who hears it or how scared she was. The fear she felt before didn’t compare to the emotions you’d gone through because she let you go.
“I- I love you too. My arms don’t, not right now, but I do,” you tell her, and she relaxes her hug.
“M’sorry,” she tells you, face buried in your neck.
“S’okay,” you tell her, arms barely lifted so that you can return her affection. “..Can you let me go?”
“Never again.”
“I love you,” you tell her.
“I love you, too.”
Maybe Ellie didn’t believe in love. But every rule, every belief, has an exception.
And it seems that exception was you.
#negasonic teenage warhead#negasonic teenage warhead x reader#negasonic teenage warhead imagine#ellie phimister#ellie phimister x reader#ellie phimister imagine#fanfiction#deadpool#xmen#dawna
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Body Acceptance(?)
TW: Diet talk; Clothing Size
*Also a disclaimer to acknowledge my privilege as a small-fat person, and my ability to shop at the clothes offered at Target.*
I’ve been in dire need of some new clothes, but I’ve been in such a strange phase with my body.
About a year or so ago, my therapist started to slowly mention things to me like Intuitive Eating (IE) and Health at Every Size (HAES). Now I wonder how hard she had to hold back her eye-rolling while I ventured through months of off-and-on keto, excessive exercise plans, and then intermittent fasting. Not to mention all of the fatphobic language I used in reference to myself, and how much I based my life around what size of pants I could button over my belly in the sad and dusty fitting room of H&M.
I bought the Intuitive Eating book. I started it and never finished it, putting it aside for another time. Even so, I’ve tried to incorporate the principles in my own way - eat what I like, when I want, including times when I may not be physically hungry, since eating is a common method to self-soothe. Stop labeling foods as good and bad, let my body choose, and stop making food a moral issue.
That’s been relatively easy for me, considering I have yoyo’d back and forth between major restricting paired with exhausting workouts, then back to the Fuck-It Diet and cocooning in blankets for months at a time. When I wasn’t dieting, I loved food and trying new foods. One of my favorite things is the novelty of walking into a new bakery or cafe and trying a drink or pastry I’ve never heard of before. I’ve also had a pretty big issue with binge-eating and even eating out of guilt or responsibility to the person who made the food - which resulted in eating things I didn’t even like. The same goes for dieting. I ate so many foods that made me feel bad or sick, for weeks and months on end, because it was supposed to be “good” for me. It’s to the point where I can be grocery shopping and realize I’m buying the “healthy” version of something - a version I don’t even ENJOY, or I’m buying a food or a quantity of a certain food, just because I find it filling and I want to feel stuffed, which I associated with feeling “better” for so long. (I am not saying I never binge-eat. Part of Intuitive Eating is accepting that binge-eating is a very valid coping mechanism when we are feeling low or exhausted.)
In addition to the Intuitive Eating, I’ve been listening to/reading Fat Activism content, pinning Plus Size models on my Pinterest as well as following them on Instagram, because I’ve been idolizing fae-like thin girls who have never been and may never be, in a body like mine - and that goes both ways. I came out of the womb two years after my sister, with already thicker thighs. Honestly, this lead to a lot of jealousy in my younger years, and a lot of self hatred. “Clearly we have the same GENES, why am I the ‘bad’ one? It must be all my fault.” Unfortunately the message of guilt, shame and inferiority were ingrained with comments from family, friends, society at large. Granted my mother was pre-diabetic when she was carrying me, and I grew up loving all foods while my sister was a picky eater in her young years. As adults, my sister and I talked about how it seems like I grow muscle a lot faster, while she dedicated a lot of time (and joy) in a weight-lifting regimen. Maybe these things are true, maybe it’s all conditional. But despite life’s changes, we’ve stayed in our relative body shapes and sizes. The inferiority due to my size was so internalized that deep down I still wonder when I’m going to start secretly restricting again and/or over-exercising, so that I can pretend to accept myself while still assimilating. If other people commit their lives to counting their (and everyone else’s) calories, well, then I owe that to the world or I don’t deserve happiness, respect, sexual satisfaction, inclusion, and so many things denied to fat women and fat people in general. I have to shrink to fit through the metaphorical threshold into a life where I get the privileges of small-bodied women, a world where I know I’m better treated, because I shrank myself before and every interaction changed. If I could just do it a little more this time, I could be “one of those girls” - the cool girls, the pretty girls, the seemingly effortlessly likable girls. The girls that make men feel strong and masculine. The girls I always fear should be replacing me at any moment.
Because of the yoyo-ing, and because I’m still in the Fuck-It part of Intuitive Eating (eating ALL THE THINGS that I told myself were off limits or bad) I’m not even sure what my natural size is. I’ve been putting off clothes shopping, but my stomach issues cause me pain every day, and after lunch, I become so bloated that my pants and leggings, however stretchy, become so tight and begin digging into my stomach. I end up literally counting the minutes until work is over so I can go home and take off my fucking pants. As a big girl, I’ve learned that I prefer wearing tight clothes over hiding my shape. I thought it to be more “flattering” in the common meaning - making me look smaller than drape-y tops and dresses typically marketed to fat women so they could better shield themselves from ridicule by literally hiding themselves - another thing I’ve spent far too much time doing. It’s been a several-month-long internal dilemma - can I keep wearing “cute” clothes, or do I HAVE to get things that don’t suck in my thighs and stomach fat so that I can feel physically comfortable?
Honestly, I’m not fully convinced of the latter part yet. I couldn’t convince myself that saving myself from physical pain might be more important than hiding my stomach or slimming myself, because honestly, there are still some parts of me that I literally fear showing. It’s like having even more “private parts” to be in a culture that is so fatphobic. I can keep hitting like and drooling at all of the fat babes on my instagram feed, but god forbid I myself step out of the house with VBO (visible belly outline), or not smoothing out my cellulite and lower belly with some good ol’ tights!! It even feels vulnerable to admit those things, not that I think I’m fooling anyone, but just the fact that I try so hard to the point my internal organs are probably out of place from all of the compressing I put them through. I’m still assimilating like this.
Yesterday I went to Target, preparing myself that if a size doesn’t fit or look good, I don’t have to say “fuck that” - I can grab the next size up. As a teen I was most likely having panic attacks every time I had to shop in the plus-size section of a store. I squeezed and fell out of my straight-sized clothes because it saved me the shame of needing accommodation, the shame of otherness associated with shopping in different stores or sections than my classmates and my sister. I don’t recall how my mother felt, as a larger woman who from what I remembered said only mean things about her own body and was constantly trying new diets, but I felt she was ashamed in having to be there with me as well. Maybe this was just how I felt, since her clothes always fit her body, which shows she must have been shopping for her size, which wasn’t straight. Maybe culturally it seemed okay for a mom in her 40s to shop at Lane Bryant and the like, but unacceptable - a shameful failure on her and my part - to JUST make me, a kid, “normal”.
When shopping yesterday, I filled my cart with clothes all around the 12-16 range, and prepared myself to know that although that was my range before, it may be different now, it may be larger. I’ve stopped weighing myself so it really could be anywhere. Size 16 is when I used to tell myself ‘no’ and leave the store upset. I couldn’t accept my size, I couldn’t accept a stupid fucking number because culturally it determined my worth as a woman. Among all of the other stumbling blocks in my life, there was this one giant failure I always felt looming over my head that seemed to matter most in social interactions, job interviews, at school - my body size - and all of the connotations made from it.
On top of finding a ton of cute clothes to try, the dressing room attendant helped me carry them all into the fitting room, and informed me there was no item limit - BLESSED, amirite?! (I even met a nice tatted up mom with her small baby who complimented the earrings I had picked out when I apologized for thinking she was the attendant and talking to her as-so, out of the corner of my eye. She was straight-sized and told me she had a hard day of clothes-trying-on, because she didn’t know what she liked anymore. I told her I am about to turn 30 and I completely understand. Do I still like my ripped tights, booty shorts, and crop tops? Do I want to look like a snazzy bitch in a blazer and heels now?! It’s always validating to me when a thin women talks about similar issues. It’s not just me hating trying on clothes. That was a missed connection, so if you know her - get me in touch!) I despise trying on clothes, I get all sweaty and my throat starts to hurt and I seem to get all of my phonecalls and texts while I’m trying to get myself through the daunting task of zippers, buttons, turning shit right-side out, trying different combinations of clothes, and hanging them all back up in the right direction for the store employees since I’m not a heathen.
I found far too many choices for my budget, I had a huge “YES” pile, an even bigger “Maybe/Different size?!” pile, and just a few items in my “Ew/Yuck/Why is this a fabric?!” pile. The biggest change of all for me was that I put comfort first. I don’t care if my ass looked nice, if my romper made me look a few months pregnant, if a dress was cinched right at the waist to highlight my thinnest area on my body. I twirled in the dresses and strutted around in the pants, imagining and acting out scenarios from sunlight and day-drinking to sitting at my desk at the end of the day, and made sure each choice held up. And I managed to find too many items to afford, but enough to get me moving forward toward a life of accepting my body in the range it tends to buoy around, rather than the body I have when I’m treating myself like a prisoner.
This was one huge step in the right direction, and I can’t wait to appear in clothes that fit me, rather than clothes that mold me.
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Welcome to part 2 of my interview with @jacquelineshyde / PoetDameron, an author who’s been posting her That ‘70s Show fanfic and poetry since 2016. Her prose and poetry have a gracefulness to them, in both imagery and subtext. Shades of emotion blend into one another, giving us a deeply complex and satisfying exploration of the characters.
You can read part 1 here.
Those ‘70s Comics: What's a That ‘70s Show fanfic you've written that you wish had gotten more readers? Or you believe deserves more attention?
jacquelineshyde: I'm actually very happy with the response to all my stories. Maybe I would have liked a little bit more comments on Absolute Beginners (AB: FFNet / AO3), but it was always a risky project, and I'm just happy I got to put it out, and it got what it got.
And yes, I know I haven't published the last chapter. But I need beta for everything.
T7C: Besides Jackie and Hyde, which T7S characters and ships do you most enjoy writing?
jacquelineshyde: I love writing Eric a lot. His POV is one of the funniest I get to work with [in a story], and his dialogues are some of my favorites. This is mostly because Eric’s is one of the first POV's I got to work on. I wrote twenty-six letters that are supposed to be [from him to] Jackie, for an upcoming fanfic that has become this enormous thing. I don't even know how I'm going to publish all that.
A couple I love writing is Brooke and Kelso. I actually have two upcoming stories that are about them, and I have in mind an AU I want to write about them. I really, really like them. I enjoyed working in their separate POVs in Absolute Beginners, and they are probably my favorite t70s couple at the moment, after Hyde and Jackie.
T7C: Who are some of your favorite T7S authors and why? What are your favorite T7S fanfics by them and why?
jacquelineshyde: My favorite author in the fandom is the amazing MistyMountainHop. I find her writing mesmerizing in a very deep way. Her writing is like a snowy day: it makes you feel everything to the point that you are numb, but slowly it gets you inside the house, to the warmth, to the hot chocolate and the comfy blankets, and the sound of calm and beauty. It's a force of nature.
Her characterization is wonderful. The way she writes Hyde is my favorite in all [the T7S] fandom. She explores him perfectly and makes you feel what he is going through, and that's just an example. She writes the rest of the characters and couples just as good. It's incredible. I'm just really honored to be writing at the same time as her.
My favorite fanfic by her is Made Bare [MB: FFNet / AO3], a fic I also consider my canon season 8. Other ones I love are Shade [S: FFNet / AO3] and Hyde's Long Way Home [HLWH: FFNet / AO3]. Perfect fanfictions.
[Full disclosure, MistyMountainHop is also the creator of Those ‘70s Comics and the runner of The Stupid Helmet. In other words, she’s me, and I in no way asked or paid jacquelineshyde for the inclusion. But I’m honored my stories are counted among her favorites.]
Another author I love and respect is nannygirl, queen of Red/Kitty fanfiction -- and also queen of fluff and family warmth. Her characterization is incredible. I love the way she writes Red and the relationships she explores in her fanfics. She writes every character with respect and understanding. She makes them human, and it makes her stories so light and warm. It's the feeling of hot chocolate down your throat on a cold night. You close your eyes, and you can feel that sweet hug of your loved ones.
My favorite pieces by her are If You Ever Did Believe, “Write this Down,” “Flashbulbs,” and “Mall Santa” (which is part of Stocking Stuffers, her series of Christmas one-shots).
T7C: What's your fanfic writing process like?
jacquelineshyde: Oh, boy. It starts with a notebook and a Moleskine. I write the general idea in the Moleskine and decide on a story title.
Once [I have] the title, here comes the notebook. [I make] a bullet-point list with everything that needs to happen in the story, most times in order, and then [do] a bunch of research. Research in cases like t70s is mostly about the scene at that time and, sometimes, just rewatching the show. I put down every bit of information I know might help me, and then I organize the chapters.
From the bullet-point list, I write the chapters. I choose a certain number of scenes to be in one chapter and mark them with different colors to know where they start and end. Once this is done, I go to the computer and start writing.
[During my time on the computer], the notebook and Moleskine are at my side, [as well as] vodka or coffee; and one of my pets [is] at my feet or sleeping [beside me]. Most times, I also write with music.
T7C: English isn't your first language, and you write beautifully in it. What, if any, differences do you experience when writing in English vs. Spanish. And are there any similarities?
jacquelineshyde: First, thank you for the kind words; I hope it's true because it's a real struggle to write sometimes. That's also the difference. Spanish is part of me. It’s who I am. Words come to my mind all the time, awake and sleeping. I'm always talking, and I'm always writing, no matter the hour and the place -- or even the situation. I'm always writing.
But when it comes to English, I have to make it fit. Most of the expressions I love and use constantly don’t exist in English, and I have to make sure the thing makes sense. Luckily for me, English also comes to me in a very easy way when I'm truly inspired and focused. Sometimes, I don't even realize I'm speaking the language when [I’m] like this.
For help, I keep open Google Translate, a Spanish-English and English-Spanish dictionary, and a dictionary of synonyms on Google Chrome. I also have my wonderful beta, @that70sshowgoldencouple (aka nannygirl), who always helps me out with the writing. Other people who help me with beta are @lesspissedoffromantic and @itsreykenobi.
T7C: What music do you listen to when you write?
jacquelineshyde:
Eric Clapton's Forever Man anthology
Drive OST
Sing Street OST
About Time OST
If I Stay OST
Robert Downey Jr's The Futurist (amazing album)
Caro Emerald's entire discography
I also have playlists for the different couples I write.
T7C: What would you like to see more of in T7S fanfic, and would would you like to see less of? Themes, story ideas, characters, etc.
jacquelineshyde: A more well-characterized Jackie who isn't needy and infantilized in order to make Hyde look like this great and supreme being who is here to save her from herself and the cruel, cruel world.
No, in all seriousness, please ... I would love if Jackie could be written with respect. In fact, that every female character could be written with respect, that their relationships don’t define them, and the relationships between them aren't ignored.
I would love Eric [maturing] and changing after [his experiences in] Africa, [rather than being characterized as the less] mature season 6 and 7 [version of himself]. Less season-8 Hyde, less of the Hyde who prefers to destroy Jackie's heart instead of talking things [out] first, a Hyde who respects her and the people around him, who respects himself.
And on a less picky note, I would love more good LGBT exploration and representation, more Kelso/Brooke, and a mature Kelso who doesn't have to stop being funny just because he cares for his daughter and has a woman in his life.
T7C: Any hints you can give us about future T7S stories, poems, or projects you're working on?
jacquelineshyde: I have so many t70s projects! For a start, on tumblr, I'll be starting another two poetry projects and a new project with Eric's letters, [the one] I mentioned before. Since I changed that story, I had to write [a new] set of twenty-five letters, and the original ones won't be used anymore. But I love those letters. So I decided to publish my favorite quotations from them and explain, briefly, their context. Let's see if it works.
Upcoming stories -- I have a whole page about that on my blog: Future Fanfictions.
Wear my Arms is my next big project to publish after Heart Like Yours is done.
My biggest project is a three-part series that retells season 8 with a new twist: what happened seven years afterward -- and, finally, how it all comes to an end fifteen years later.
Lots of work.
T7C: If there's anything you'd like to talk about that I haven't asked, feel free.
jacquelineshyde: I admire the fandom and how warm it is. I was very surprised to find out that it was still pretty much alive and that people like to read and comment on one's work, even after more than ten years since That ‘70s Show ended. It's incredible. I'm very grateful to be part of this fandom and the way it welcomed me. Thank you.
T7C: Thank you, jacquelineshyde!
Some of my favorite That ‘70s Show fanfics and poetry by jacquelineshyde are:
Heart Like Yours (FFnet / AO3): Jackie goes home to Point Place for Donna and Eric's wedding, but an accident and an unexpected experience may show her a reality she never thought was happening around her (Rated: T)
Year of Jackie (FFNet / AO3): It's a new year, 1980, and her friend is alone. Donna tries to make a better night for Jackie (Rated: T).
“A Good Night’s Sleep” (Jackie on My Mind)
“Wear My Arms” (Jackie on My Mind)
“She’s Magic” (Jackie on My Mind)
“I Thought I Hated My Name Until You Said It” (Jackie on My Mind)
#That 70s Show#That '70s Show#Jackie x Hyde#Steven Hyde#Jackie Burkhart#Interview#T7S Fanfic Author Interview#jacquelineshyde#Special
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