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chuluoyi · 5 months

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✎ sick days

- gojo satoru x reader

who holds the fort when you fall sick? of course, it's your lovesick husband and baby!

genre: fluff, fluff, fluffff. basically, your baby is adorable, gojo is your husband and not only is he lovesick with you, he humors your baby so much it’s making me— sighs

note: based on this post! hi hi chu is back from vacation and here’s another dad!gojo fluff indulgence and we stan domestic men okay🤭

a part of gojo's love entries

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

It's plain sight that Gojo Satoru is a highly attractive individual, and now that he has a son, it's fair to say that he’s the hottest dilf on the block.

With one hand twirling a famous brand of flu medicine box and the other propping his baby son at his hip, he garnered curious eyes, even in drugstore near his home.

“Hmm, why is it so cheap? Suspicious…”

Satoru let out a light hum, studying the orange and pink boxes, as well as glancing at the other purple box with bold labels claiming its effectiveness in halting cold symptoms, and then looked at his son.

His baby's big, crystal blue eyes blinked in wonder at the vibrant colors, and he reached out with grubby hands towards them. “Bwah!”

Suddenly, he got an idea.

“Hey, kiddo. Which do you think is better for mama?” he asked the baby, gesturing at the all three medicine on the rack with his jaw. “You choose.”

As if on cue, the little ball of fluff that was his son immediately reached out for the purple box, the more expensive out of all three displayed before him. Without missing a beat, he also seized both the orange and pink boxes in quick succession, holding them close to his chest.

Satoru broke into a hearty laugh, a wide grin split his face, as he affectionately tousled the boy's head with pride.

“That's my boy! Splurging is allowed—after all, we're rich!”

When the first signs of cold manifested in you, Satoru was already worried. He had warned you to take more rest, but typical you, you brushed it off as a mere fatigue.

And when this morning, you woke up to sudden coughing fits and hot-and-cold spells, which ended up with kicking him out of your shared bedroom in fear of spreading the virus, like the doting husband he was, Satoru promptly headed to the pharmacy with your baby in tow to get you some help.

"Oh my, sir, your son is so adorable!" the female cashier gushed when he got over to pay, finally voicing what other customers thought in their heads. He could sense the discreet glances from those around him even now.

As the baby clung to his shirt, Satoru tightened his grip on him and responded with a self-assured grin, ensuring those nearby heard his words, "Of course he is! My wife is pretty as heck too, shame she's down with fever today."

"Aww! Such high praise, you must adore your wife!"

"Mm-hmm!"

Ah, so he still has a wife. The other customers went about their day, some disappointed that the dilf was still evidently devoted to his wife. They could only wonder just who could the lucky woman was.

Moving on— after the short trip to the drugstore, Satoru went back home. He promptly checked on you in your master bedroom, inquiring, "Hey, how are—"

But he immediately halted upon seeing you nestled so comfortably under the blankets, sleeping soundly. For a moment, he simply stood, blinking and observing your serene slumber.

Strange that something inside him both softened and lurched at the sight. You were just that precious in his eyes. Stupid as it was, he was quite miserable to go through the day without your nagging and nitpicking. And above all, he never liked seeing you in any kind of discomfort—it made his protective instincts soar.

Hence his thought— there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, even if it means sacrificing heaven itself.

“Myah!” A hard shove on his arm and his baby’s babbling snapped him out of his trance. Satoru shifted his baby to his other hand, let out a questioning hum, and affectionately pinched his mochi-like cheeks.

“Hmm? You can’t be hungry, I—oooh,” a sheepish expression of realization appeared on his face, his blue eyes widened slightly as his baby glared at him. Then, chuckling like the goofball he was, Satoru patted him on his head to appease his grudge, “I haven’t fed you since this morning, eh?”

“Fwah!”

“Pfft! There, there… Me is sorry~ Now let me whip something up for you and mama, yeah?”

Now, he wouldn't claim to be the best chef, but he could certainly cook to save himself. Rolling up his sleeve, he went to the kitchen after leaving and stuffing his baby boy with a pacifier on his high chair.

“Hmmm, baby food for the minion and… congee? Yeah, congee should be good.”

Next task was feeding his already seething baby after he mixed together his baby food. He was a fussy eater—mostly with him, but surprisingly not so much with you (apparently, that's just his way of showing who he favors between his parents, heh). But when he managed to get the food in, with every spoonful, his son’s smile gradually widened, and so did his happiness.

Satoru thought then that he was the cutest thing he had ever created. His son was clearly a mini-him, but his reactions were definitely so you.

“Is it tasty? It is, isn’t it?” he cooed with baby voice, earning a delightful giggle in response from his son. Pushing his luck, he added with a suggestive grin, “Papa is the best, isn’t he?”

“Bwah...” The joyful expression on his baby's face faded instantly, dissolving into an unamused pout, prompting Satoru to righteously click his tongue.

“Why are you so against me?!”

After he was done with his fill, Satoru picked your baby up to the master bedroom to bring you something to eat. Seated on the opposite edge of the bed, he silently adored your sleeping form once again.

Right at that moment, the baby in his arms wriggled, reaching out for you. Acting on a sudden impulse, he put him on the bed, facing you.

“Now, go to mama, would you?” he whispered gently, grinning and giving his bum a light pat. “Go!”

Your son was also Gojo Satoru’s son, therefore he was an adept crawler even at barely seven months old. With remarkable agility, the little soldier steadily moved towards you, his diapers jiggling with each motion. He stopped right in front of your face, clearly recognizing you as his mother.

And your husband swore that even his logic-driven heart melted at the sight of your cute baby suddenly leaned in and clumsily smooched your nose.

Simply just the two most treasured loves of his life.

“Mm?” you let out a soft grunt, feeling the dryness in your throat as you cracked your eyes open, surprised to find yourself face-to-face with your baby. “Oh… why are you here? Don’t get too close…”

“He’ll be fine.” Satoru picked your son up, placing him on his knee and steadying him with one arm. Having moved next to you on the bed, he brushed hair from your forehead. “What about you, hmm? Feeling better?”

Your eyebrows creased into a frown. “Yeah, I think, but more than that, Satoru, I’ve told you, don’t let him—”

“Yes, yes, sweetheart. He won’t get sick, look, he’s as healthy as he can be~” and to make a point, he turned his baby over and lightly smacked his bottom, prompting a whimper from the little one and a gasp from you.

“Don’t spank him!”

“Ehh? Then can I spank you instead?”

“Satoru, you’re a little piece of—!”

Just you and him, as well as the little treasure that was your son. This little family was enough reason to live. To win.

And Gojo Satoru once again thought, that being the strongest didn’t really mean that much anymore because with his world in his hands, nothing else matters.

Epilogue

“You’re so silly, why did you buy so many?” you grumbled at the sight of three different brands of cold medicine your husband displayed in front of you. “One is enough, do you want me to overdose?”

Satoru snickered. “Don’t blame me, blame your kid. He’s the one picking all of them.”

You totally didn’t get what he meant at all, but yeah, your husband was the silliest human ever and that’s that.

“Hey, don’t you think it’s a bit smelly here?” Satoru suddenly asked, wearing a quizzical expression.

You took a sniff of the air, glancing at your baby blinking innocently and sitting calmly on your husband, and a realization struck you. “Uh, Satoru...”

Following your gaze, as if sensing an omen, Satoru hastily scooped up his son, letting out a bewildered gasp as he felt a slight wetness where the baby had been sitting on him.

“Did he just poo on me?!”

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weirdmageddon · 9 months

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i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

#homestuck #homestuck meta #dave strider #mom lalonde #roxy lalonde #hs #strilonde guardian swap

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silkythewriter · 5 months

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I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me”

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

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fontvine · 10 months

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nsfw alphabet for neuvillette?

￫ NEUVILLETTE NSFW ALPHABET !

A = aftercare (what they're like after sex)

very tender and intricate lover after sex - neuvillette overlooks your body to make sure he hadn’t left any marks that you’d find distasteful or painful

B = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

on himself, he’d have to choose his neck - while it may sound odd, he has yet to find a part of himself as sensitive at it, so he takes pride in the feelings you can draw out of him with a simple nip or kiss against his throat

on you, neuvillette loves your hands - how dainty they look pressed against his chest or compared to his own, and the feeling of them tangled in his long locks or lightly trailing over the tendrils of blue within the sea of white

C = cum (anything to do with cum basically... i'm a disgusting person)

with the limited knowledge he has on humans and their sexual tendencies, he does know of procreation, so his favourite thing to do is fill you up until your stomach bloats

D = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he gets off on tears - he himself knows how many emotions can cause tears; sadness, anger, happiness… and pleasure, and he wants to see you sob for him

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

little to no experience - neuvillette hadn’t truly indulged in mortal endeavours until he had met you; you had introduced him to romance, love, and all the intimate parts that come with it

F = favourite position (this goes without saying)

neuvillette loves cowgirl since while you’re still on top of him, he controls the pace - not only that but it gives the both of you something to grasp and hold onto (your ass/hips, his shoulders, etc.)

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

emotions are still complex to him and so far he’s only learned how to express passion and desire during your bedroom escapades, so “goofiness” in the bedroom is beyond a foreign concept to him

H = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

neuvillette has quite the head of hair on him so he grooms often - he prefers to be clean shaven or at least with limited hair on his pelvic area

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

serious yet delicate - neuvillette takes sex with you as a moment for him and you to be completely open to one another and to feel the other for what they are truly (aka he’s a passionate and loving man)

J = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

nope, never, will not - neuvillette feels guilty for touching you in a sexual way in general, so touching himself to bring himself pleasure in any capacity makes his head spin and cheeks burn with guilt

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

marking, breeding, hair pulling - while a gentle lover, he likes to indulge in his more monstrous desires and encourages you to do the same with him

L= location (favourite places to do the deed)

bedroom first and foremost since there he can rest assured that both of you are comfortable, but he has fucked you over the desk in his office as well as over the railing in the opera epiclese

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

letting himself be completely open is what drives him the most - he, in general, is not the most open person in teyvat, but when he fucks you, he is able to show parts of him only reserved for you to see

N = NO (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

hurt you physically and or emotionally - while the former’s boundaries can be pushed the slightest bit, neuvillette takes no pleasure or satisfaction from bringing you pain, so it’s a hard no from him

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

isn’t the best at giving (he’s learning though), but adores when you give him head - it was a shock to his system at first at the new information regarding sexual activities between mortals, but he’s come to love it to the point where he requests it when he’s feeling needy

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

his pace is slower but his thrusts are deep and hard - cock stroking your gummy walls and nearly kissing your cervix with every movement of his hips

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he hates quickies - he’s rather be able to enjoy you to the full extent of the moment (he however is not opposed to a quick blow or him going down on you when the moment calls for sexual gratification)

R = risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks?)

not one for experimenting unless you suggest it and tries to stay away from risks (however, he hates to admit the two of you have been caught by furina more than once from the small risks you have taken together)

S = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long?)

he can go for round upon round, but stops when he senses you’re at your limit - he, after all, is not mortal so his stamina is seemingly endless compared to you own

T = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

very foreign concept to him that he honestly does not want to delve into - he wants to be the sole bringer of pleasure to you and would like if you do the same to him

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

not a very teasing lover - unless you ask for him to drag out your climax, neuvillette prefers to stick with the more simplistic and kind side of himself in bed

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

he’s a loud grunter - neuvillette rarely gets too vocal with you and even keeps most words to himself aside from the light praise and loving words

W = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

bathtub / shower sex is a hit with him - and if he has a secluded place outside of the walls of your home, he’d fuck you when it’s raining upon the two of you (his overwhelming pleasure only making the downpour all the more intense)

X= x-ray (let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

neuvillette has quite a long and girthy cock - i’d say around 8-9 inches with thick veins running along the underside of it

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he lies to himself and says he only desires sex when you do, but the thought of having you wrapped around him or having the taste of you on his tongue runs through his mind on the daily, even during court trials

Z = ZZZ (…. how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

as a being that doesn’t require much sleep, neuvillette holds you until you fall asleep and will sometimes pretend to fall asleep so you feel content enough to fall asleep yourself

#⌕ ⋮ alphabet.#genshin x reader #genshin imagine #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact smut #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette imagine #neuvillette smut #genshin impact #neuvillette

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rationaliity · 1 month

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massage | dr ratio blurb

1.5k words about giving ratio a massage because you're his partner and you love him. that's it. that's the post. there's nothing else i can say about that. purely self indulgent sweetness there's nothing else for me to add. reader is gender neutral, and referred to by him and themselves as veritas' partner. i wrote wayyy too much about such a simple concept but what are you gonna do ? lock me up ? i dare you.

you knew how veritas liked to wind down for the night. after a few years being married to him, you've figured out the routine by now. you can tell he's starting to get tired when he sits his book down and nods off a little in his chair. you have to gently shake him awake, or call out to him a few times before suggesting that maybe it's time for bed, that you're the one getting sleepy, not him. and then, finally, he'll sigh and tell you that he still has so much work left for him to do, but he supposes that he should humor you for a little while.

he'll get up, and trudge his way to your shared bathroom and begin to get ready for the night. he takes off his robes and puts them up on a hanger, and taking off his gold accessories, including his adornment and chain that went around his neck, and his laurel accessory. after unbuttoning the top button of his vest, he takes off his contacts and puts on his glasses because he's as blind as a bat without them.

and of course, then you come in. you'd change out of your day out and into your pajamas, which was usually just a tank top and a pair of underwear, and then you would make your way to the bathroom where veritas was in the middle of his routine, probably brushing his teeth. you would brush out your hair and make sure that you had taken off any makeup - and probably remind him to take off his eyeliner, too. you were usually trying to get a good look at yourself while behind him in the mirror, often ducking or tilting to the side so you could see yourself.

after brushing your teeth, were were mostly done, save for whatever skincare you did at night. and then you would glance at veritas, your eyes raking over his body, and you would snake your arms around his torso, your head against his back. " you look so nice, veritas, " you would mumble against the fabric of his vest, pressing a soft kiss against his back. " this is my favorite veritas. the guy with grandpa glasses and messy hair who snores at night. "

veritas stifled a laugh, finishing brushing his teeth and rinsing out the minty foam from his mouth before turning around, his arms lazily hanging off of your shoulders. " i suppose its only natural you have your favorites, just as i have mine, " he whispered, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly in a half smile, the exhaustion evident on his face. " although, i must admit, it's amusing to see you try to seduce me while i'm half dressed. "

" is it working ? " you asked teasingly, pressing a kiss on his shoulder, leaning into his touch. you could see the tiredness in his eyes, the way he could hardly keep his eyes open even as he shared such an intimate moment with you.

" it's.. charming, " he admits, his voice low and even, and he couldn't stop the small sigh of contentment that spilled from his lips as you kissed him. he knew that you enjoyed these intimate moments, and he'd found himself growing rather accustomed to them too, despite his penchant for a busier, more active lifestyle. but you knew something the world didn't, you saw the warmth in his icy facade that veritas presented to the world as dr. ratio.

" how about i charm you some more, veritas ? " you asked, smiling softly at him, knowing just what he needed. this was the time for your care to shine through, something that honestly didn't happen often enough. " how about a massage, doctor ? " you purred, your eyes glimmering with a longing to please him in a way that only you could. " let me indulge you, dearest dr. ratio. " you only ever used the title dr. ratio in two situations : when you're a guest speaker in his lecture room, and when you're trying to deliberately provoke him into your little games, just so he would let you take care of him for a little while. and it was working splendidly

" you know i've never been one for massages.. " he hums, allowing his voice to trail off as he thought about your little offer. finally, he gave a little sigh, too tired to protest much. " but perhaps, just this once, i might make an exception for you. "

you smiled, taking his hand, as well as a bottle of his favorite scented lotion, leading him towards the bed. once he was laying on his stomach on the bed, his vest long gone, you really had the chance to enjoy his body in a mostly nonsexual way. you sat on his butt with your legs straddling either side of him, hovering over his vulnerable form. you squirted the lotion on your hands, warming it up between your fingers before you began to work on massaging his shoulders. veritas let out a soft grunt as your skilled fingers worked through the knots in his muscles, finding himself relaxing under your ministrations.

your touch was firm and yet gentle, knowing that you would have to be a little rough with him to get out particularly tight tension knots in his muscles. massaging the expanse of his back, you found yourself completely thrown into the little side mission of pleasing your husband that you gave yourself. " when was the last time you had a massage, dear ? " you asked gently, your fingers trailing down his spine, pressing into his skin to work through the tension. " you should let me take care of you more often. you know i enjoy helping you out, you've just gotta ask your lovely partner for help sometimes. "

" i can't recall. perhaps its been far too long, " he mused out loud, his voice deep and grumbly as he closed his eyes, his head in his arms while he enjoyed this moment with you. he knew you well enough by now to know that you weren't talking about just giving him a massage when he needed to relax. you were also extending yourself to comforting him, or supporting him through his endeavors. you'd be there to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on should he need it. and although he may not say it verbally, he couldn't help but appreciate your unwavering support more than you could ever know.

" you know i'm always here, veritas, " your voice was inexplicably warm and loving as you massaged his back, feeling him relax so much more underneath your touch, your every move melting the stress from his body. " i always will be. "

" i wouldn't expect anything less from my beautiful partner, " he chuckled softly, the sound muffled by his arms. there's a note of admiration in his voice, a rare glimpse of vulnerability revealing itself beneath the layers of his typically stoic demeanor. he couldn't help but feel a sense of calm wash over him. for all of his faults and flaws, this is where he found his solace; in the quite moments shared with you. the world fades away gradually to him, leaving only the two of you together.

in this moment, he's not dr. ratio, the scholar within the intelligentsia guild, nor the doctor working tirelessly to save his patient's lives. he's got no doctoral under his belt that taught him to how to love, and yet he found himself doing so effortlessly with you. he was simply veritas, a man basking in the comfort and love of his partner. as you work your magic on his tense muscles, he lets his thoughts drift aimlessly. veritas lies there, basking in your tender touch, and he can't help but feel a sense of contentment.

you smiled when you began to hear the soft, familiar sounds of his snoring. you stopped for a moment, looking over his features. his hair was messy and in his face, his eyes closed, and there's no negative emotions on his face. he wasn't angry, or stressed, or worried. he looked peaceful, and happy. you picked yourself up, walking over to grab a towel to clean your hands from some of the lotion. the sound of his snoring became almost like a lullaby to you, a signal that something went right, that you had done something right. you wiped off the remaining lotion from his back, putting the towel on his bedside table before leaning over to him.

you paused, taking in his features up close, before gently brushing his hair out of his face, your hand resting on the top of his head before you gently kissed his cheek. " i love you, veritas. not the man you present yourself as, but the man that you are when no one else is looking. " you knew that underneath his many layers, veritas was a man who wasn't so different from everyone else after all. he was inherently kind, although stubborn in his ways, something that you had grown to love about him.

as you settled in beside him for the night, you couldn't help but think that you were the luckiest one in the room.

#honkai star rail #hsr fanfic #dr ratio #honkai sr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr fluff #hsr x reader #veritas ratio x reader #veritas ratio #veritas x reader #x reader #dr ratio x reader #fluff #drabble #blurb #one shot #hsr ratio #honkai star rail imagine #imagines

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onestopfanficshop · 1 year

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könig headcanons

warnings: afab!reader, mentions of unprotected sex, oral sex, thigh riding and fucking, and an (accidentally) broken condom lol

A/N: this is so self indulgent LMFAO. can you believe i've had this sitting in my drafts for over three weeks? i hope y'all enjoy bc there's not enough content for this man fr! gif not mine :)

will use your fingers as a human fidget toy

he likes to rub his chin when he’s thinking real hard about something

loves grapes (green ones only, and they have to be cold)

the left corner of his nose constantly gets dry for whatever reason so he’s always needing to put extra lotion there

hums under his breath without realizing it and it's the cutest thing ever. especially if he’s alone with you, or if he’s just relaxed and in his element

he really loves to cook but he's too lazy to do the cleanup after he's done

has better than 20/20 eyesight; idk, i just feel deep in my soul that he does

if he's lying on his stomach and you start rubbing his back or scratching it, he'll literally melt it is the most relaxing thing in the world to him

his morning voice is super deep and raspy. i feel so strongly about this it just has to be true

is a snob about bread. he just likes a nice warm loaf of well baked bread okay?

when you first started dating, it would sometimes scare him when he would wake up in the middle of the night and see you lying there peacefully next to him; he had never shared a bed with someone else before so it took him a while to get used to it

but once he does he literally will treat you like a human body pillow. which sounds cute in theory but it's not 😭 like if you need to go pee in the middle of the night, good luck getting yourself untangled from him without waking him up (spoiler alert: it's not really possible to do bc he's the lightest sleeper on planet earth). you can either hold it or deal with a groggy and slightly grumpy könig the next day lolol

is the clingiest bf ever. if you let him, könig will sit on the floor next to you while you’re in the bath and hold your hand if you dangle it off the side of the tub while you watch a show together

speaking of baths this man hates taking them. he's never found a tub big enough to fit him so he just doesn't bother. he hates when his skin gets super wrinkly from being in water for too long anyways

loves to put a bunch of creamers and sweeteners in his coffee. the first time you took him to starbucks he was like a kid in a candy shop when you told him all the different flavored syrups that they had

doesn't like swimming; i mean he knows how to do it (bc of his job) but it's not his favorite thing to do. he feels like the water is always working against him lol

yeah he has social anxiety but when he's with you? especially once he gets comfy with you? yeah that's a different man entirely

like he loves to tease you constantly, is very cocky, and is super funny in a witty dry humor type of way

is absolutely the type of boyfriend to keep a joke going once he sees you're laughing really hard at it just so he can continue to hear your laugh :,)

know how to make jams from scratch for some reason; his favorites are peach and strawberry jam

one time he finished making a fresh batch of jams; you tied cute little ribbons around the jars and jokingly said you were "proud of the jams we made"

könig shaking his head because you didn't do shit except for stir a few times and sneak some tastes when you *thought* he wasn't looking (he's always looking)

buuuut he loves you so he plays along and tells you that you did amazing

makes fun of you if you like to watch cheesy or dumb shows but then 10 minutes later he's on the couch next to you, fully invested and asking you who the characters are and what's going on in the plot

is bad at sharing his food. even with you. he's more than happy to get you seconds but just don't touch his food, alright?

love language is 📢PHYSICAL TOUCH📢

followed by acts of service and quality time obviously. but yeah... the man is handsy. better get used to it

nsfw

first time you guys did it, it was awkward but in a really cute way. he was very, very nervous but also overly confident at the same time somehow? it was a potent mix

he'd watched porn before and gotten himself off but he didn't really know what to expect irl. he just knew that he wanted to make you feel good

when you tried to put one of the condoms you had on him, it broke. this man is huge so EVERY part of him is huge. like it just split clean in half 😭 and he turned bright red and started apologizing profusely

it was super intense up until that happened and you just started bursting into giggles which just made him grab your neck and kiss you to shut you up

that laughter turned into moaning real quick mhm

you eventually just told him to pull out and you would take a morning-after pill just in case; the prospect of fucking you without a condom made him more excited than he wanted to admit

has a ridiculous amount of stamina, we're talking three rounds at the absolute LEAST

LOVES thigh fucking and cannot get enough of it. especially since he can go for a lot of rounds, and if you tire more easily, he loves it as an alternative. something about cumming all over your thighs sends him into overdrive

speaking of thighs, thigh riding? oh yeah. that'll do it for him. that'll do it! his eyes would go so wide with awe at the fact that he could make you feel that good without doing anything. especially if you wrap your hands around his neck and you're so close to his face that your noses are touching; you're panting and trying your hardest not to moan loudly so no one else will hear? he's gonna fucking fall apart

whenever he's on top of you, he's infinitely careful to not put all of his weight own you, despite you telling him multiple times that you wouldn't mind and that you could handle it

dirty talk would get him flustered but at the same time, he'd have the stupidest grin on his face if you did it

if you wear lingerie he'll like- he'll literally die and go to heaven. especially the fancy ones with the garters and the stockings, even though he has absolutely zero clue how they work. like i'm imagining him sitting on the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him and staring right into his eyes as you guide his hands to the garters to take the stockings off (JUST GAVE MYSELF BUTTERFLIES LEMME RUN A LAP REAL QUICK)

okay i'm back where were we

i feel like what he does after you're done sort of depends on you. like if you get a huge burst of energy after sex and you wanna stay up and talk he will totally do it. but also if you're the type of person that immediately falls asleep after he'll go right to sleep with you

if he’s on top and you dig your fingers into his biceps he will bust right then and there. trust me.

THIS MAN EATS PUSSY FOR PLEASURE PERIOD. i will not accept any other truth. he’ll literally grind down into the sheets while he’s eating you out and has probably accidentally came a few times from doing so. he especially loves when your thighs squeeze around his head, and all the pretty little noises you make when he does it. as soon as he can tell you’re close he starts to give you the most intense eye contact while he’s doing it and it’ll probably send you over the edge

he loves being on top because he can cage you in and he has access to your neck to give it non-stop kisses and hickeys

but on the other hand he also loves it when you're on top; his hands will never leave your hips and he'll be gripping onto them like his life depends on it

when he cums, he cums hard and a lot. it's basically like a fountain... sometimes, when he does it while he's still inside of you, there'll be so much that it actually leaks out of you and onto the bed

was kind of self conscious about it and felt bad for making a mess until you told him it was nothing to be embarrassed about and it had actually turned you way on

for someone that doesn't prefer to talk all that much outside, this man is--whew. he is vocal like he is fucking paid to do it. especially when he's about to cum or if you're on top of him. this is a man that is not afraid to moan fr fr.

he's always asking you if you're okay and if what he's doing feels good to you. "is this alright?" is a sentence you've heard countless times and yet it still gives you goosebumps always

unspoken rule that if you're wearing his clothes you're gonna get fucked right then and there 😭 just accept it. könig seeing his SO in his clothes is always gonna do it for him!

#könig #könig cod #könig smut #könig hc #könig x reader #könig mw2 #könig x you #könig call of duty #onestopfanficshop

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suashii · 10 months

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୨♡୧ DRUNKEN CONFESSION — geto suguru x reader. sfw. fluff. college au. reader is intoxicated. lots of flirting + kinda self-indulgent.

never in a million years would you have imagined walking side-by-side with geto like this. the man is practically a celebrity at your school—chased after and envied. and, like it’s normal, he’s here beside you. not as discreetly as you think, you spare him a glance out of the corner of your eye.

you had accidentally bumped into him earlier, the collision resulting in a good majority of the contents of your cup ending up on his shirt. profuse, slurred apologies fell from your mouth, but he didn’t seem to mind much about his ruined garment—in fact, he was more concerned about you. so much so that he had been kind enough to offer to walk you home.

thinking back on it now, it was a rather impulsive decision to leave without the group you arrived with, and with a guy you’ve spoken to no more than ten times, at that. but no one’s known for making particularly good decisions while under the influence, right? and, you were smart enough to shoot your friends a text explaining your whereabouts in (what you hoped was) the unlikely event that your choice to take geto up on his offer turned out to be a bad one.

although, that much didn’t seem like it would be the case; he’s been a perfect gentleman thus far—leaving a fair amount of space between the two of you and only letting his hand ghost over the small of your back during those moments when you seem unsteady. you should be thankful that he’s so chivalrous, and you are, but a little part of you, one swayed by the alcohol in your system, was hoping he’d be a little more touchy. nothing inappropriate, just an arm around your shoulder or some simple hand-holding.

you look at geto again, more directly this time. his chocolatey eyes are focused forward and the moonlight glints off the two silver hoops wrapped around his lips. you’ve always found him pretty, but the gentle aura of the night makes his beauty seem even more delicate.

you’re positive you would have ended up staring at him for the rest of the walk if it weren’t for your foot catching on the sudden rise of the sidewalk.

before you’re able to trip forward and make contact with the pavement, geto’s hands are on your hips, firmly pulling your figure against him. “woah, careful there.”

“sorry!” you apologize, wriggling out of his hold so you can turn to face him. he doesn’t look the slightest bit annoyed, in fact, there’s a soft smile tugging at his lips. if you were sober, you’d be capable of picking up on the humor hiding in it.

“it’s fine,” he assures you. you’ve been swaying since you two crossed paths at the party and geto has a hard time believing that’ll wear off any time soon.

“we still have a while ‘til we get to your place,” geto’s voice trails off with the last word as he turns around and crouches. you wordlessly stare at his back until he looks over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows. upon seeing your confusion, he spells it out for you. “hop on.”

“are you sure?” you ask him. “i can walk.”

geto’s is sure that statement isn’t true. “yeah, get on.”

you fight the smile threatening your lips as you climb onto his back, your arms loosely wrapping around his neck, wrists crossing at his collarbone. long legs boost the both of you up and geto’s arms snake under the backs of your knees before he sets off in the direction you’d been walking.

the cool breeze is even more evident against the warmth of your cheeks. this is a new proximity, one you haven’t been warranted before. you can feel the bit of skin exposed from beneath his t-shirt against your forearms, see the scrunchie holding the top half of his hair up in its bun. the scent of his shampoo—coconut, you think— wafts through the air, pleasantly meeting your nostrils. it’s hypnotizing, drawing words out of you that you certainly wouldn’t voice if you were sober. “you know, i’ve never really liked guys with long hair.”

he can’t conceal the snort that sounds in the night air. “is that so?”

you hum in confirmation, nodding your head despite geto not being able to see you. the rational part of your brain that would normally urge you to shut up isn’t functioning at the moment, so you continue. “but i like yours. it’s kind of hot.”

geto’s lips wobble in an attempt to hold back his laugh. alcohol makes you bold, huh? on the few occasions you two have interacted in the past, you were never this forward. geto has an eye for picking out those who are interested in him—they don’t make it hard. though, you completely slipped past his radar.

“you think?” he asks through a chuckle.

“yup,” you reply, popping the “p.” there’s no end to your vomit of words. once you’ve started talking, it’s difficult to get you to stop. “all my friends think it’s sexy when you tie it up before practice.”

geto doesn’t know what’s more surprising—how easily you’re giving up the information or the fact that he somehow missed you in the bleachers. it’s not the moral thing to do considering your current state, but he’s curious enough to ask, “what about you?”

“hm? what about me?”

“do you think it’s sexy?” he clarifies.

the burning in your cheeks is back but you don’t feel embarrassed, not the way you would if geto had asked you any other time. alcohol is your truth serum and without thinking of the consequences you’ll be facing in the future, you tell him, “yeah. you’re, like, super attractive.”

he was only teasing before but your answer makes geto’s eyebrows shoot up. as cocky as it sounds, the man doesn’t normally find such declarations surprising. although, that isn’t the case when it comes to you. he has no intention of telling you so when you’re drunk, but the feeling is mutual. geto clears his throat before his next words. “thank you.”

“you’re welcome.” there’s a sing-songy lilt to your voice that tells him your head is still swimming.

your willingness to so honestly answer each of his inquiries raises another question in geto’s mind. it’s a tad bit shameless on his part but you likely won’t even remember this exchange come morning considering your condition. and, geto thinks, the question is harmless enough—just a little flirting. “so, what do you like most about me?”

“mm, definitely your smile.” your reply comes almost immediately like you had been waiting for the opportunity to tell him so. the observation makes the corners of geto’s lips turn up. “it’s really pretty. but your piercings are a little intimidating.”

“oh?” geto’s pace slows down as he approaches the building you had told him was yours when the two of you were leaving from the party. he squats down to let you off his back and your feet haphazardly meet the pavement before you steady yourself. the crunch of pebbles beneath his shoes sounds in the air as geto turns around to face you. “you don’t like them?”

“i do,” you start, “i just bet it feels weird when you kiss, right?”

once again, geto’s eyebrows meet his hairline in a show of surprise. unconsciously, his tongue pokes out to toy with the cool hoops wrapped around his lips. “wanna see for yourself?”

“what?” you squeak, your eyes widening at geto’s suggestion. sure, you’re curious but that’s not what you meant. for the first time all night, you’re flustered. “i didn’t say that!”

he holds a fist to his mouth to hide his laugh which is still plainly audible despite his effort. with the same hand, he waves you off. “i was kidding.”

your lips are still parted in shock and you can feel your heart beating wildly in your chest, but you nod in understanding.

“come on,” geto jerks his head in the direction of your building, “let’s get you inside.”

he leads the way with your instruction, typing in the four-digit pin to gain access and pressing the button in the elevator to take you to the third floor. you stop outside your door to pull your keys out of your bag, sticking the carved metal into the keyhole after a few attempts. you can’t see it, but geto’s lips pull up as he watches your struggle.

when you finally get the door open, you step inside your apartment. geto’s feet stay rooted to the floor of the hallway.

“drink some water before you go to sleep, okay?” he advises you.

too embarrassed to speak after the last mishap, you stick your arm out and thumb up, a smile accompanying the gesture.

your uncharacteristic silence draws a quiet laugh from geto. he raises his hand in a wave. “see you around.”

thanks for reading! consider commenting or reblogging if you enjoyed ❤︎

#₊˚ପ⊹ signed: jujutsu kaisen #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #geto x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto fluff #jjk fluff #geto drabble #jjk drabbles #geto imagines #jjk imagines #geto scenarios #jjk scenarios

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jazzyoranges · 7 months

Text

Tara Carpenter nsfw headcanons

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

incredibly cuddly. like… baby koala cuddly

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

her favorite body part on you is your tummy or arms. Tara likes to hold on to anything she can while cumming, and your arms always seem to be accessible. Tara’s favorite part of her body are probably her thighs. she thinks it’s cute you’re so enamored with them

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

g!p or not, Tara wants you to cum on her face. you once asked her what the obsession was and she responded with “Baby Tate says nut keeps that skin clean” with a shrug, and you’re left a little dumbfounded afterwards

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

before you got together and were just friends, you let Tara borrow a hoodie. she’s masturbated in that hoodie far more times than she’s liked to admit. after time it looses its smell of you, but you’re already together so she can now have the real thing anytime she wants

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

she’s had a few hookups here and there. Tara knows what she’s doing, but she’s always figuring out ways to make you cum :)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Tara likes positions where she can see your face. something about how intimate it is watching your dumb little smile while Tara’s furiously bouncing on your fingers like she’s in heat

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

kind of in between, slightly (very slightly) leaning towards sillier. both of you kinda just go with the flow and it works out

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Tara shaves once in a while. countless times you’ve said you don’t care, so she mainly does it for herself

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

such a fucking romantic. this girl can be so corny sometimes it’s not funny. she’s just in a constant state of :3 all the time

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before your relationship, Tara simply masturbated at pictures and scenarios she’d make up in her head. Now, Tara purposefully masturbates to tease you. Pictures and videos of her moaning your name or you’d come home to a needy Tara knuckle-deep in her pussy

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

…humiliation. she’s your whore, and your whore only :) g!p or strap-on, she likes it when your cock slaps against her face.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

definitely your apartment. sam was so close to finding out once. despite how her orgasm felt so much better afterwards, the heart attack wasn’t worth it

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you hate it, but Tara likes when you get jealous. she doesn’t make you jealous on purpose cause she knows it’s one of your insecurities but when you do… she likes how your eyes darken. her usually happy and upbeat partner staring down someone? hot.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

knives are completely out of the question for obvious reasons. also, cuckholding. as much as she’s yours, you’re also hers and Tara doesn’t like to share

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

definitely giving. hearing you moan is music to her ears

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Tara definitely likes going slow, but only because she loves to edge you. sometimes you get impatient and start to take control and Tara lives for it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves quickies. this woman can’t get her paws off your body for one second. you’re happy to indulge in your girlfriend so it’s okay

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

definitely likes to experiment! butt plugs, mirrors, cameras, she likes experimenting

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i’d say Tara can go for 3, maybe 4 before she’s completely drained of energy

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

g!p or not, Tara loves her trusty strap. it’s about average in length, but god is it thick

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tara teases you within reason. nothing too mean, but just enough she knows she’s not going to be able to walk tomorrow. so like… lots of nudes

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

you’ve gotten multiple noise complaints. it was not fun when an older lady confronted you about your… lovemaking with Tara

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

one time she accidentally called you mommy… let’s just say you happily fed into her kink

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Tara has noticeable bruises on her lower hips due to you gripping on her love handles like your life depended on it

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

borderline high. Tara won’t do anything you don’t want to do, even if she really wants to. worst comes to worst, you edge her until there’s tears in her eyes if she was being a brat

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

if she’s overstimulated or done most of the moving, the woman is out like a fucking light. Tara can still function after having sex, but she does prefer a nap or going to bed after

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #tara carpenter x reader #scream #tara carpenter #scream 6 #tara carpenter scream #sam carpenter #jenna marie ortega

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moronkombat · 8 months

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Bi-Han nsfw alphabet? 🫣🧊

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Bi-Han is rather tender with his lover after having sex. He is quick to check on them, making sure they are comfortable and content. A large hand will encompass a cheek and his eyes will search his lover's before he pulls you close. His arms around you like a barrier to the entire world and its evils. He will protect you from them all

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Bi-Han is proud of his face. Not because it a handsome one but becomes it is identical to his mother's. Her visage is painted on him, it all he has left of her to look at besides aging photos. As he ages he likes to think his mother would look this way too

His partner's hands. So much smaller and lighter than his own, so easily to be broken. Bi-han would never. Not in any lifetime would he harm his lover. Those hands are to be held, kisses and caressed

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Definitely prefers to finish inside his partner. It is much more intimate and personal for him to release himself within a place most warm and hidden. Bi-Han truly feels deeply connected to his partner when their natural essence mingle and flow together

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Is often plagued by "inappropriate" thoughts of his lover. There is a hunger behind his eyes that fill his head with tantalizing fantasies of the carnal variety. He will tell absolutely no one that he often thinks of his lover quite lewdly. He vents these thoughts through rigorous exercise and sparring with other Lin Kuei

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's a virgin Very inexperienced. Bi-Han found little use or time for engaging in sexualized behaviors. He is not partial to seeking out a bedwarmer or a temptation of the night. When Bi-Han loves, it is completely and truly and with the one person he holds dearest

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Very much so ever changing. The position often changes based on the opportunity that is in front of him. Though he is rather traditional and prefers missionary with his lover. It feels right when he can look into his lovers eyes, bodies pressed closely together. Bi-Han likes to be on top because he wishes to hold you close and shield you from all the horrors of the world

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bi-Han is exceptionally serious in the bedroom. He will not incorporate humor as he finds it disrespectful to you and this private moment shared between the two of you. Bi-Han would never disgrace his lover in such a way

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Bi-Han is neat and groomed but not hairless. He makes it a point to keep himself trimmed and even as to not pester his partner by accidentally irritating them with prickly hairs. While he can grow facial hair, he almost always shaves it but tends to rush through it causing his skin to feel roughened

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Despite his rather grim and intimidating demeanor, Bi-Han longs to show his partner a perfect romance. The only problem with that is he is incredibly awkward in that subject. That will not stop him from trying and, if he's known his lover for awhile, he eventually finds a good pattern of romance. He shows romance through gestures and not words. Do not expect to hear him say those three pretty words. They are not needed when he holds you so tenderly as your bodies entangle and he whispers to you "my heart"

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Seldomly indulges in such acts but probably should. He does have "impure" thoughts of his lover very frequently and intrusively and they weigh on him. He mostly releases himself through exercise or roughly sparring with someone

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Marking- Bi-Han is rather "vanilla" on the surface but peal the skin further back and corruption lingers. While he will never leave a cut on his partner or anything that will tear the skin he does enjoy leaving those reddened circles where he kissed and sucked. He is very meticulous when placing them, always somewhere no one else can see. They are for him and you to feast upon their memories in privacy. He does not leave exposed marks as to not bring attention to you or disrespect you. Bruising tends to occur during sex due to the sheer size of pace of him. While he feels guilty bringing them about, there is something about seeing your skin so painted quite thrilling

Breeding/Pregnancy- This is one he will never admit. He'd rather choke on these words than confess to such a perversion. Yet he is so enticed when he thinks about getting his partner pregnant with his child, with his heir. He groans and his spine curls just thinking about it. Each time he cums within his lover, there is a betraying prayer that wishes for his seed to take root so that you may grow round with child. If his partner were to become pregnant, he finds them incredibly attractive. Probably more than he should

Size difference- Bi-Han is large and his lover is...so fragile and delicate. Barely can he fit himself within warm walls. It takes oh so long for him to completely sheath himself inside. His hand will lay upon your naval and there he feels himself moving, the very outline of him traced into his palm

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bi-Han will almost always prefer to take his lover in the bedroom. He does not allow anyone in his personal quarter. That is a place for him and now it is for you too. It means to be exposed and vulnerable to have another in his room with him. He finds this the perfect place to express his love to you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Bi-Han gets in the mood by his partner's appearance. A pretty expression, a graceful step a lithe build that seems so different than his own. He longs to take away those layers of clothing and take your body into his arms

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bi-Han will not harm his lover. He will not lay a hurtful hand on them, he just can't. Never will he bring them pain. Bi-Han will only protect you from it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He enjoys both but expects to give you oral more than receive it. Why? Because he sees how much you like it and how loud you get for him. Louder than sound your moans can be when he between your legs and that really riles him up. However, receiving is also very much so enjoyed and he tends to be rather noisy when you go down on him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Bi-Han is a rather healthy mis between the two. He will be slow and sensual but also pick up the tempo when he starts to really get into the mood. Those are when he bruises to your hips are created as his own slam and collide into yours while teeth are bared or snagged against a lip and groans most guttural spawn in his throat

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Does not prefer them as he feels it does not allow enough time to truly experience each other fully. Will he outright refuse them? No but he does not seek them out at all

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Bi-Han is a cautious lover i will go down with this ship so taking risks are not exactly thought of. Will he experiment? Yes, as long as it brings no harm to his lover or makes him feel as though he is hurting them

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Seemingly unlimited stamina. This man is a bull made of steel and iron. He could continue all night and into the morning but he does not often do that as his lover tends to tire quicker than him

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He'd be open to the idea of them but ultimately unsure and a bit lost in terms of how to use them. He will need guidance and his partner to request their use. Otherwise, they do not even cross his mind

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A fair lover most of the time but he does succumb to those impish temptations. This mostly manifests during oral sex with his partner. He longs to hear your whines more and more and so he tends to draw out his methods when using his tongue

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Bi-Han groans and grunts frequently during sex and is not silence nor quiet. He not loud either, however. He falls somewhere in middle and begins to reach his most audible during a faster pace

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Bi-Han is prone to jealousy even if he and his partner have been in a long standing committed relationship. He simply cannot help but feel a twitch of annoyance when your attention is on another. He often glares at the one you are speaking with which doesn't go unnoticed. When he is feeling particularly jealous he will become vocal about it in bed by saying "you are mine and i am yours. this will be forever"

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Bi-Han is muscular, toned and very fit. His body has been built up and carved by combat and training. His arms are large and powerful, legs muscular and refined. Every part of his body showcases his exquisite physique. He is large in every way with his length above average and with a hefty girth to match

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is moderate. Not too high but not low. He fits comfortably in the middle. He and his lover do not engage in primal desires daily but typically do not go longer than a couple of days without it

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His eyes do not close nor does he leave his lover in the bed. His aim to stay with them after each time he and you have sex. Bi-Han holds you to him but often says very little or nothing at all. Yet he does not sleep, not until you do. He simply enjoys laying in your comfort and love until you are ready to sleep

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat fanworks #mortal kombat headcanons #mk1 #mortal kombat x reader #bi han #mk1 bi han #sub zero #mortal kombat smut #bi han x you #bi han headcanon #bi han x reader #sub zero x reader #sub zero smut

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juniefruit · 4 months

Text

☆- biker bf minho -☆

y'all, happy almost friday. winter gloominess is kicking my butt fr. p.s, I like motorcycles, so this is totally not self indulgent...

word count: 946

Before you met, he was closed off and not really all that personable. His friends pestered him about it, too. He would never go back to living like that, though. Just looking at you brings a smile to his face without him realising it. Has he gone soft? Just for you. One thing he loves you for is that you understand his humor. He’s naturally sarcastic and witty. He can let his guard down around you and truly be himself. He knows when it’s time to joke around, or when to just chill out and take it easy.

Bonus points if you have a bike of your own, he would eat that up. Like, you get to go on little motorcycle adventures together? Sign him up. He loves when you can ride side by side looking cool af.

Granted, he also loves having you on the back of his bike. He tries to act like having your arms wrapped around his waist doesn't affect him, but of course it does. He’s a sucker for physical touch, perhaps even touch starved before you started dating. When he has to speed up and he can feel your arms tighten… he has got to stay focused on the road.

He looks absolutely godly in his tight leather riding gear. The jacket hugs his torso and shoulders just right, and the pants… (redacted)

If you have your own gear already, cool. If you don’t, he would love to go shopping with you to find something. It has to be perfect (his own words), because safety is the most important thing.

So there’s this thing called a Cardo, but there's other brands too. It’s like a bluetooth speaker you can put inside your helmet, it can play music or act as a microphone. He got you one immediately. He couldn’t wait for Christmas, or Valentines, or your birthday. He’s too impatient for that. He enthusiastically ran up to you one day, with the box in his hand. For you!! He exclaimed. He helped you set it up, and afterwards, to test it out, he insisted you try talking through it in separate rooms. He was all smiles and giggles for the rest of the day.

He’s not big on PDA, but he’s fine with holding hands or wrapping his around your waist in crowded spaces. Also, he definitely puts his hand on your lower back when he has to squeeze by or grab something near you, muttering a small ‘excuse me babe’.

When you’re riding seperately, he will try to annoy you through the intercom. He’ll spew dad jokes, or honestly just make random noises. Until he figures out you muted him and he gets whiny and upset. You pull up to a stop light when he flips up his visor hastily. “Yah! y/nnie, did you mute me? What if I had something suuuper important to say?”

Even though you constantly tell him to be careful… He knows his limits. As a biker, it’s in his blood to do at least a couple risky things a week. Whether it was a dare, or just to show off, he will pop a wheelie on the road. A couple times a month, he meets up with his other biker friends just to hang out. At first, you were intimidated. I mean, being surrounded by 8 biker dudes doesn’t sound too inviting. Minho promised they were nice, or at least some of them tried to be. He begged and whined, promising to take your share of cleaning the house for a week. When you finally complied, it really only took about 15 minutes but to Minho it felt excruciating. Minho gave you a soul crushing hug while repeating thank-you’s for a good while. Lucky for you, they were actually quite nice, but they take some getting used to.

He definitely custom ordered sticker packs of his cats to plaster onto his helmet. He was so ecstatic when they came in the mail, and he spent the rest of the day showing off his newly decorated helmet to you.

He definitely sends you funny videos or selfies of him in his gear while he’s out. He’s a victim of “helmet confidence”. Meaning, as long as nobody knows who he is, he’s 100% doing funny weird shit. It fuels something in him when he sees you flustered or embarrassed, it’s just a part of his nature.

Motorcycles do require a bit of regular maintenance (if you want them to run properly) and over the years, Minho has learned how to do repairs on his bike at home. It’s cheaper than always going to the shop. He’s well versed in what his bike needs. He’s always offering up his help for your own bike. On bright spring days, the garage to your condo is pulled up, and the bikes are parked in the driveway. The bright green leaves are practically glowing as they shimmer against the blue sky. Minho’s got on a tank top and shorts; with a few tools by his side. When he calls you over, it’s because he made the executive decision to show you how to fix this one specific thing he’s working on. You lean in close to him. His teaching voice is soft but firm as he’s always checking to see if you’re still paying attention. You’re more so paying attention to the way his biceps ripple when he moves, or the tiny sweat droplets forming on his brow.

I would like to think that his motorcycle would be all black with a few mint/teal accents. It’s a sports bike, something along the lines of a Ninja or GSXR.

If you like drabbles like this, check out my masterlist :3

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshot #skz x reader #lee know x reader #minho x reader #lee know imagines #lino skz #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #lee know #lee minho

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 3 months

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points at u. how do u play eridan so well!!! hes such a tricky bastard to write for 4 some reason

It's because he's got so many problems and playing him is basically Mental Illness Simulator :') Whipped up a small (that's a lie, it's large and extensive) guide under the cut

ERIDAN DOES NOT HAVE FUN

First most important thing about playing Eridan: THIS BOY DOES NOT DO JOKES. He does NOT DO BITS. He does NOT HAVE FUN. If you check out his logs, pretty much every time he talks to somebody, he has a very clear purpose in mind (usually flirting or grandstanding). One of the few times he does strike up a conversation without a clear goal in mind, it's absolutely disastrous:

CA: fef CA: hey CC: ? CA: glub CC: Glub glub! CC: 38) CA: yeah CA: hm CC: W)(at is it!!! CA: wwhat

He's sooooooo so so so bad at conversation. He doesn't tell jokes. He doesn't know how to lighten the mood. He has no chill. He has no sense of humor. When playing him, if you are making jokes, you are doing it wrong!

The reason for this is because, psychologically, you have to imagine that he is constantly teetering on the edge of a murderous freakout. If he is not, at all times, Being Useful (AKA murderous, sea dweller-y), then Something Bad Will Happen. His entire life is about duty, pressure, responsibility, and, accordingly, at ALL TIMES, he feels an extreme, anxious weight on his shoulders, which makes him incapable of indulging in "frivolous" behavior, like making smalltalk or doing things for fun. In fact, sarcasm and facetiousness are literally considered childish by Alternians, and Equius associates it with lower blood colors:

CT: D --> Humorous insincerity is for pedantic wigglers AG: Pshhhhhhhh, I know! I know you never make jokes. I was the one 8eing sarcastic, you stooge! AG: I was 8eing sarcastic a8out you 8eing sarcastic. Duh. CT: D --> That's because you're a little worse than me

That's why it's also kind of important to make him not really have hobbies. Eridan DOES have interests: he loves wizards and magic, and he's a hipster. HOWEVER, he only ever talks about magic in pursuit of some other goal, like finding a date or winning at a rivalry, AND he's constantly denying his own interest in these things, because they're frivolous, stupid, ridiculous, and deviations from what he "should" be like. He actively distances himself from things that make him happy. In fact, we only know he's a hipster because it's part of his design and Karkat mentions it once - Eridan himself has never talked about it. That's how far he's buried anything that actually brings him joy.

If your Eridan is smiling for ANY REASON, you are DOING IT WRONG!

While we're on the topic, things Eridan is NOT ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN:

History (he only ever talks about history in the vaguest possible terms; I think he is book smart and genuinely knows a lot ABOUT history, but his actual interest in it is middling. He's just expected to be really obsessed with history, especially military history, as a member of the aristocracy, and he reads it in the same way as one doomscrolls on twitter - it's a way for him to self-reinforce his own mental illness and soothe his cognitive dissonance)

Marine life/marine anything (he's TERRIFIED of the ocean, and has spent a few days underwater TOTAL. He knows nothing of the sea.)

Weaponry (he HAS a lot of guns, so he definitely knows how to use and maintain them, but there's a reason he outsources the building of all his doomsday devices. Also, he got a "god weapon" early on in his life, and has kind of just been... using that. He neither has a need to know much about weaponry, nor has ever displayed any particular interest or knowledge. He leaves fully loaded harpoons just lying around on the floor of his house. It's knowledge of necessity, not interest.)

Hunting/Violence/Murder (he's really good at it, he knows a lot about it, he will teach you on request, he will mention it constantly, but he doesn't actually derive any particular joy out of it, especially since we know his thought process after each kill is "that's going to make an orphaned troll very sad. they will be culled soon :/")

Fashion (he has more of an interest than the average Alternian, but it's still not a lot. He dresses up to emulate Dualscar, and his actual clothing choices beyond that are pretty disastrous. Canon Eridan has never shown an interest in fashion. Even if you do want to play him with an interest in fashion, which I think is fine, you have to remember that he deliberately distances himself from anything that brings him joy, so even if he likes fashion, he'll keep that a secret and insist he only does it for utility purposes.)

Pale Romance (just throwing this in there, it's the one quadrant he is *never* shown to pursue. He's tried Feferi and Nepeta in flushed, Sollux, Terezi, and Kanaya in ashen, and Rose and Vriska in pitch. if anything, he goes out of his way to AVOID pale romances, both because he just had a painful pale breakup, and because he freaks out at the implication that he's weak in any way, which pursuing a pale romance would all but be admitting)

The thing that makes playing Eridan so hard, I think, is that he's abjectly fucking miserable, BY CHOICE, and for most RPers, playing a character who's abjectly fucking miserable kind of goes against the appeal of RPing in the first place (that is, having fun). All of the things he says he's really into are things that he either has no interest in, or that actively make his life less enjoyable. All the things he spends all his time thinking about are things that make him feel anxious and hopeless. All the things he actually likes and would have fun with are the things he actively, deliberately, and loudly decries and suppresses.

So that's point 1: Eridan does NOT have fun.

ERIDAN IS AGGRO AS *FUCK*

The next most thing I see that trips people up is that they make Eridan too friendly, usually as an extension of accidentally giving him too much chill. There are two main factors here at play: the first is that he's desperately trying to be a violent, casteist, oppressive, dangerous sea dweller, and outright pushes that image, and the second is that he's really fucking anxious ALL THE TIME, and most peoples' sociability goes down when they feel the cold breath of the reaper on the backs of their necks 24/7.

When looking at the 4 responses to danger - fight, flight, freeze, and fawn - Eridan will overwhelmingly choose "fight," with "fawn" as his secondary option. This makes absolute sense in context: all his trauma comes from its inescapable nature - if he tries to run from his duties, everybody dies; if he freezes up and fails to complete them, everybody dies. Therefore, his only two options are to Fight, and to channel that violent response into completing his duties, and to Fawn, to capitulate to the things that are hurting him - much moreso the former than the latter. Unfortunately, that bleeds over into everything else. Great!

We can see this illustrated really well in his conversations with Kanaya: Eridan does not ask for favors or help, he makes demands:

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin ... CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to

ERIDAN: you should of told me about this ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it

The only time he ever really backs off is in confessions, where he's willing to be like "hey, I think we really got something here, don't you think so?", or when talking to Karkat (Karkat is really the only person that Eridan doesn't feel the need to put on airs around, and we can only speculate as to why. It's because they're destined moirails for each other.)

He will also do this for statements that he isn't 100% sure about. If he's going to say something, he is going to ASSERT IT as if it is IMMUTABLE FACT, even if he's immediately disproven. In which case he will admit fault, but then his NEXT wild assumption is the IMMUTABLE FACT.

CA: wwell fine you dont havve to behavve vvillainous if youre bent up on actin against the grain a your nobility or somesuch CA: i can play that role its not like i evver didnt get my gills dirty before TT: Nobility? What are you talking about? CA: wwell arent you TT: No. What gave you that idea? CA: the wway you CA: ok CA: i had a misconclusion about that so my fault CA: obvviously you got rich blood so maybe when you crash landed you wwerent recognized for it by wwhatevver vvehicle upholds the class structure in human society

I feel like he's the type who, if he's genuinely unsure about something, he just won't say it at all. Basically, Eridan is always operating at either 0% or 100%, with almost no in-between. NO CHILL. Given that he only strikes up conversations when he's trying to achieve something from it - whether that's actively getting someone to do something for him, or just trying to assert that magic is fake - he treats every conversation like it' i's a battle, where the prize is whatever it is he's attempting to do, and his conversation partner is an enemy that he has to beat into submission. (Karkat is the only exception. He actually just likes talking to Karkat, and will do more traditional "hey man you wanna talk about your feelings" kind of dialogue with him.)

If your Eridan has chill, you are doing it wrong!

ERIDAN STRUGGLES WITH EMPATHY

This really needs to be qualified: he does HAVE empathy. He DOES care about his friends. But his brain is really cooked, and he has an extremely difficult time actually working up the emotional energy to express or experience it.

He's kind of downright sociopathic, lol:

ERISOLSPRITE: iim of the miind2et that wwhen you havve a rock 2oliid piiece of a22 tiied twwo the dock, you dont bloody wwell tug the knot loo2e and 2hovve the fucker off wwiith the heel a your boot. ERISOLSPRITE: but then another part of me ju2t wwonder2 wwhat the FUCK ii ju2t 2aiid there? liike that wwa2 ju2t 2uch a wweiird 2ociiopathiic thought ii had, ii hone2tly had no iidea howw bad ii could po22iibly feel about my2elf untiil ii BECAME my2elf, iif THAT make2 2en2e.

Like, okay, how do I explain this. His body count is 2000+. He has an EXTREMELY difficult time caring about life or death. He's had to watch kids cry over their dead parents. He has had to kill kids trying to protect their parents, whom he has then had to kill. And he has done this over, and over, and over again, as long as he can remember, to the point where he calls it "all i evver done practically."

Just for the sake of preserving what's left of his sanity, he's had to learn how to not care about that. If he sees someone crying in front of him, it's unlikely to even emotionally register to him as anything beyond "factually, this person is sad." Shit happens, people die. Violence, tragedy, murder, injury, and death are literally daily occurrences to him. For you, the day I killed your lusus was the most important day of your now tragically short life. For me, it was Tuesday.

Vriska is in the same boat, BTW. I think a combination of just being a less sensitive person to start with, the existence of a support network (Equius and Kanaya and Terezi as friends + she was friends with Team Charge before the... incident), and the lack of all the Duty(tm) and Responsibility(tm), helped her cope a bit better, and be better about opening up to people and relying on them for emotional support.

What this means, in terms of playing/writing him, is that his priorities are extremely skewed, and he is genuinely not going to understand things like "maybe I shouldn't tell this land dweller I'm trying to kill all land dwellers," or "maybe this person is sad and I should comfort them," or "maybe my constant talk about murder and death is offputting to other people." Here he is, literally not understanding why insulting and belittling Kanaya has led to her not wanting to help him, as well as not understanding why Vriska might've blocked him:

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs GA: If Your Slander Werent So Predictable Id Block You Too For Saying That GA: Has It Occurred To You She May Have Blocked You Because You Are Vvery Ovverbearing GA: I Just Said That Aloud Now In Your Silly Accent And Had A Private Moment Of Enjoyment CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her

His brain is constantly running at a fevered 100% full-tilt run; he doesn't have the space, leisure, or energy to spend considering things from the perspective of other people. It leads to weird paradoxes, where he IS considerate of other peoples' feelings, but doesn't actually consider their feelings. After spending almost the ENTIRE conversation with Kanaya belittling her and demanding she be his and Vriska's auspice, he abruptly switches gears:

CA: fine i get it ill step off CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

Because he LIKES Kanaya, he REALLY CARES ABOUT Kanaya, he WANTS GOOD THINGS for Kanaya... and yet is entirely, wholly, not taking her feelings into account at all.

BUT! This also applies in reverse! You can make all the death threats and casteist insults and demands towards Eridan as you want, and he won't give a shit aside from his usual grandstanding protests. The only time we ever truly see him offended is when he's genuinely trying to do Jade a favor by giving her the code to his gun, and she calls it a piece of shit and tosses it out with the trash - and even then, he doesn't take THAT much offense. Judge for yourself:

GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it! CA: god damn it CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me GG: maybe you should have been nicer to me! GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do! CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species

After all, he's accustomed to much, much, much worse. His emotional response here is indignation, not even really HURT. Karkat also makes a bunch of genuine death threats towards Eridan, which get entirely written off as "wwitty repartee." He's just really bad at processing hostility! Hostility is very normal to him!

So basically, before letting Eridan engage in any act of empathy or compassion, you have to ask whether or not he's going to recognize that the situation would call for that in the first place, which he is REALLY BAD at identifying. He only asks Karkat if Karkat wants to talk about his feelings after Karkat explicitly says that he's freaking out in every possible way, and without that explicit indication, I don't think Eridan would've even noticed.

If your Eridan has social skills, you are Doing It Wrong!

This also means that, even if Eridan has realized that he needs to act compassionate, he's still going to be really fucking trash at actually providing emotional support. He can't even emotionally support himself, you think he can figure it out for other people?

The most he can do is call it like he sees it - "this is a stupid thing to get worked up over," for example. Or he can jump straight to solutions, like "so what, are you gonna kill that guy?" Being as charitable as humanly possible, he might be able to fire off a "that's rough, buddy" at ABSOLUTE maximum.

ERIDAN KIND OF JUST SEES SLURS AS FACTUAL DESCRIPTORS (AND OTHER GENERAL NOTES FOR HIS SYNTAX AND VOCAB)

And, let's face it, on Alternia, they kind of are. Kanaya doesn't even bother to call him out for calling Karkat an assblood, Terezi and Feferi and Sollux don't bother taking offense to calling Sollux a mustard blood, and Karkat calls himself a gutter blood at one point. Like, even if you're playing/writing an Eridan who's rejected Alternian society, he'll still probably be out here calling people slurs? Things that would be considered hostile from other characters are very much just neutral coming from Eridan. There is no emotional difference to him, calling someone a rustblood or a burgundy, but he's expected to say rustblood because of his sea dweller status, so that's what he goes with.

Also, make some grounded but wild assertions about people and things. This boy loves to Assume. Writing Eridan is a lot of going "ERIDAN DON'T SAY THAT!!!" it's great. Really painful. Highly unrecommended.

He's obviously quite book smart and uses a lot of big vocabulary words. You guys need to have Eridan go on these insane purple-prose rants more often. They're so fun to write and so cringe to post.

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once

CA: but the thing is i need a rivval wwho can pose me a challenge CA: and frankly shes not evven fit for holdin my cape anymore CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

For no reason at all. I'm going to post a little Karkat for comparison.

PCG: THE FUNNY THING IS IN THE FUTURE EVERYONE WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS THE UNDISPUTED LEADER, EVEN YOU. PCG: YOU WILL BE STANDING ON THE TIPPYTOES OF YOUR IDIOTIC METAL SHOES, TAKING DELICATE PURCHASE OF MY NUBBY HORNS AND HOISTING YOURSELF OVER MY HEAD TO PUT YOUR SWEATIEST TOUGH GUY SMOOCH UPON MY TWITCHING SPINE LUMP. PCG: IT WILL BE TENDER AND DEFERENTIAL, LIKE A PAUPER KISSING A NOBLE'S RING. PCG: JUST SCROLL DOWN, READ THE LOGS.

Also, notes about his typing quirk:

First, the ww and vv stuff is actively a fake accent he puts on for the #Aesthetic, and his natural way of speaking doesn't include those at all, so it's entirely likely that if you're writing him after he's rejected Alternian society, or if he's trying to be really really emotionally sincere, he wouldn't be bothering with that part of the quirk specifically.

He doesn't ALWAYS drop the G at the end of words ending in -ing. It's frequent and common, but don't feel bad about letting a word end in a g, especially if it would sound or look better (for example, "being a kid and growwing up" doesn't bother to drop the g's at all).

Similarly, he doesn't ALWAYS change "of" to "a," especially preceding a vowel sound. You gotta be careful with when you change this up, because he pretty much only does it when it would make sense spoken aloud.

In phrases like "must have" or "could have," he will often (but not always) change "have" to "of" (so "must of" or "could of").

Dropping the D from the word "and" happens only one time in the entire comic, so it's probably a typo, and if it isn't, it's REALLY REALLY infrequent.

He will sometimes use shorthanded words, like "em" instead of "them" or "ya" instead of "you." I'd say it's occassional, a bit rarer than the G-dropping. He does tend to use "got to" instead of "gotta," however. Again, try saying his lines out loud, to figure out when best to use what.

Given his loquaciousness and clear command of the language, it's likely that this is for Style, but he also doesn't always bother with proper grammar. Places where "[person] and I" would be used are often switched out for "[person] and me," and he might forgo a contraction like "I've" or "we've" and just post the pronoun (for example, "you got to" instead of "you've got to."

He references ocean shit, and ocean anatomy, like his own fins and gills, pretty often! He just doesn't do the puns. Try using "flippin" instead of "fuckin" every now and then, or "glubbin" instead of "talkin," or nautical analogies.

Also throw in some British "bloody"s every so often.

Cusses like a sailor, though, has one of the highest "fuck" counts relative to wordcount out of all the characters (cough like Karkat cough).

HE DOES NOT USE PUNCTUATION. EVER. (Ok, he does use a period once while talking to Terezi in Alterniabound, but I think that that's a mistake because it's literally the only time). This is actually in STARK contrast to other characters that don't generally use punctuation, like Aradia or Nepeta, who will still use ellipses, exclamation points, and question marks. Eridan actively, consciously forgoes using ANY punctuation, EVER, even for questions (which you shouldn't be asking too many of, because Eridan makes DEMANDS).

ERIDAN DOES NOT ANGST

This is another thing that I see a lot. Yes, Eridan thinks that he's worse than everybody. Yes, he deliberately keeps fun things at bay and focuses on things that make him miserable. Yes, he's sad, anxious, emotionally neglected, etc. etc. But I often see this self-loathing played for dramatics - Eridan being withdrawn, quiet, moody, and sad. Or being consumed with guilt and regret, and wishing he didn't have to be a murderer or wasn't forced into the position he was. And that's just not the vibe.

Because Eridan has a lot of pride. He refuses to appear weak, and he has genuinely lost the emotional capacity to feel too guilty about all the killing. Moreover, here's something I often see get overlooked:

He would think of the murders he committed, and the fact that he's so good at murdering, as good things.

It's not only useful, but oftentimes NECESSARY, for somebody on the team to be willing to make those kinds of sacrifices, to be willing to pull the trigger. Very literally, murder kept him and his friends alive long enough to play the game.

There's no universe in which Eridan would denounce killing and violence, because to do so would be to say that he shouldn't have kept his friends alive. Even in a hypothetical golden ending, where everybody survives to the end, Eridan would be the guy on the team who posits murder as a potential solution to problems, reminds people that society is built on sacrifices and suffering, and offers to do the dirty work himself if nobody else has the stomach for it. As much as being the orphaner was DISASTROUS for his mental and emotional well-being, he wouldn't regret the things he did.

And this is reflected in the comic - the rare times he does break down and show that he kind of hates himself, the focus is never on guilt or regret, it's on his perceived shortcomings - calling himself an idiot or pathetic. Because that's what his real insecurity is - he doesn't hate himself because he sees himself as this awful piece of shit, the way Sollux does, he hates himself because he thinks of himself as not good enough, because if he's Not Good Enough, then Something Bad Will Happen.

Remember, his danger response is FIGHT. It's a different paradigm than what most of us are used to, which is why I see his inner turmoil so often represented by him being moody and broody, which he's never really done in the comic. Eridan doesn't get sad, even though he is sad; he gets mad, aggressive, combative. He doesn't wallow; he just keeps swimming.

CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance

Again, his response to being insulted is indignation, not hurt. He doesn't sit in his room feeling sorry for himself, he obsesses over genocide and murdering all the land dwellers. His response to seeing the love of his life turn on him with killing intent is to flip out and start killing right back. After being broken up with, his response is to go and pester his friends (and yell at Gamzee a bit) until he can get some emotional support. He doesn't angst, he tries to solve the problem, and, if he can't solve the problem, he starts shooting.

He's awfully violent! If your Eridan is not awfully violent, you're probably doing it wrong!

BUT, ERIDAN LOVES HIS FRIENDS

At his core, however, as tangled up in all of the above as he may be, Eridan loves:

His friends

Wizards

Magic

Probably hipster shit

Happy endings

He is still, after all, a HOPE player. He struggles as hard as he does because he can't give up on the idea that things will get better, eventually. Even if he's struggling in the wrong direction, toward the wrong ideals, and even if emotionally, he's feeling more and more hopeless and closed in, he can't stop himself from trying, and trying, and trying again.

He loves magic. As much as he tries to push it away and calls it stupid and fake and lame at every turn, he still brought his shitty wands onto the meteor. Why does he love magic? It's an extension of his inability to give up. No matter how hopeless the situation, no matter how awful he feels, no matter how unrealistic salvation might seem, if only magic is real, then there's a solution. He wants to be a wizard so badly because wizards can do magic, and magic can overturn reality, and reality is this awful, inescapable nightmare. He is constantly being caught between nihilism and pessimism and hope and belief. In the comic, the nihilism won, but that's the great conflict at the core of his being.

So ummmmm yeah, I hope any of that helps with writing the fish boy at all. Basically, if you aren't constantly cringing while writing the bullshit that comes out of his mouth, you're probably doing it wrong...

#homestuck #eridan ampora

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ohhiimjazzed · 9 months

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NSFW Alphabet LMK Sun Wukong

CW: Explicit sexual content, MINORS DNI

A - Aftercare (what are they like after sex):

at first, he had to be told what made you comfortable, but after that, he's basically a pro. he's actually a very caring person to the people closest to him. that includes you.

B- Body Part (their favorite body part on themselves and his partner's)

On himself: I know it's cliche, but tail. it's something that's unique about him. it's what makes a monkey a monkey. so he takes pride in having a tail. He's the Monkey King after all. He's going to be proud of the Monkey part of him.

On You: your hips. LOVE HANDLES MAN. He will grip onto your hips whenever he possibly can. From the front, from the back, doesn't matter. It also keeps him grounded during sex. he likes to feel that you're there with him and that you're real.

C- Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he likes to cum inside if he can. it's either if he has a condom on, or if you are on birth control. (don't be silly, wrap your willie!). but if you're trying for a baby, oh, he is going to indulge in cumming inside you.

if he had to take another option, then he'll cum on your stomach or ass

D- Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he's shapeshifted himself to have female anatomy before. and he's touched himself with those parts. it wasn't really a horny thing really. he was just curious to see how women masturbate

E - Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Wukong is kind of a whore. He isn't a virgin by any means. But, this is the first time he's had sex with a human. Humans are a lot more fragile than demons. He's a bit scared he'll break you when you did it for the first time. by the time he learns your limits, he's good and he'll know what he's doing

F - Favorite Position (that goes without saying)

He's got a couple

The Lotus: (one partner is sitting in the other's lap while wrapping their legs around their partner) He's able to grasp your hips easy here, and he can hit it pretty deep

Doggy Style: (one partner is on their hands and knees while the other is behind them) again, he can grab your hips more easily with this position. plus it's a lot more animalistic. it unlocks the demon instincts in him.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's called you 'bro' during sex. it was one time and it was spur of the moment. did it ruin the mood? yes. was it hilarious? hell yes. what I'm trying to say, is that he's not afraid to crack a joke during sex

H - Hair (how groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the carpet matches the drapes because it's fur. he's a monkey. there's gonna be fur down there. but, when you come along he trims some of it so it doesn't get stuck up a hole or something

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can get really romantic when he wants to. he's got the duality of calling you 'bro' in bed, to whispering sweet nothings to you. he's a cheesy fuck tho. he'll do the rose petals and the candles

J - Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

he's rubbed one out before. he'll do it to the thought of you either if you're gone or not in the mood. he won't force you into having sex with him so jacking off is the next best thing (look at him doing the bare minimum)

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink: bro will keep it inside you after he finishes if you ask for it. he wants to keep it there in hopes that you'll get pregnant (if you can). he's seen how loving and caring you are towards the baby monkeys. it makes him want to start a family with you.

Praise Kink: it goes both ways for this one. he likes to see how you react to him praising you. praise him too while you're at it. tell him how good it feels. he'll go harder and try to hit deeper. also he just wants to feel loved and make you feel loved.

Degradation: call him a good little whore. he'll love it

L - Location (favorite places to do the do)

he'll do it in the bedroom (obviously) it's the most privacy, but he also doesn't mind doing it in places around FFM. you just gotta make sure the monkeys aren't able to catch you two. some of them are really young and we are not here to traumatize children

M - Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

PET HIS TAIL! Do it! I fucking dare you! He'll pounce on you if he's feeling it that day. His tail is sensitive man. He might even moan outright if you pet it during his rut/heat.

Also generally being in a heat/rut like state will get him going anyways. (this is demon terms not real monkey terms by the way)

N - No (something they're not willing to do, turn-offs)

will not physically hurt you unless he know's it's fine. the most he'll do is biting to mark you. he's still a bit cautious about your human physique. he sometimes forgets about his own strength and will leave bruises on your hips sometimes. he gets really guilty about that

O - Oral (preference in giving, or receiving, their skill, etc.)

he's more of a giver in this regard. he likes seeing you writhe in pleasure while he gives you head. pull his hair while he gives you head, he likes that. if you really wanna give him a blowie though, he'll be driven wild. will whimper

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

more like slow and rough. he likes to tease you a bit by going back and forth from slow to fast. but he'll keep a good pace most of the time. when you're close to cumming, he'll go faster so you can chase your high

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a good quickie as much as the next guy. he'll do a quickie if he's really stressed though. it's a good release for you both. it's also a time when you can give him a blowie

R- Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's down for most of everything. for some things you've gotta talk to him about it and probably explain what it is. but that's only for a few kinks.

S - Stamina (how long can they go for? how long do they last?)

this bitch is immortal. he's got stamina for days. You have to be the one to call things off for the night because it's most likely he can keep going. he can even go all night if you're up for it

T -Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he'll use toys, but you gotta be the one that owns them. he doesn't really have toys because of how isolated he was from humans before Lego Monkie kid began. he'll use the vibrator on you if you ask for it. hell, he'll even let you use a strap and peg him.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

the definition of tease. he will edge you when you've been bad my guy. be fucking prepared. you have to like edging if you wanna have sex with him on a regular basis. he's not a monster tho, he'll let you cum, eventually

V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

it depends on if he's on top or bottom. if he's on top, he'll let out some grunts and even a groan or two while he's pounding into you. if you're on top, he will whimper. DO IT. MAKE HIM WHIMPER AND WHINE FOR YOU

W - Wild Card (a random headcanon about the character)

after all that's happened throughout LMK, Wukong wants to repair his relationship with Macaque. He knows that it's going to take a lot of work and patience, and it'll never be like how it was. but, he wants to give it a try. there's a part of him that still cares about Macaque.

X - X -ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

he's about average size (4-5 inches) but he's a shapeshifter, so he can change the size to experiment. he tried to make it nine inches and holy jesus you couldn't fit that in you without a bit of prep.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he'll do it about 4-5 times a week. he won't do it when MK is over to train with him though. it's too much of a risk to have him walk in on you two. he can't risk having his student looking at him with disgust

Z - ZZZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

he'll clock out when you're all taken care of for the night. if you're having a bath afterward, he'll probably be out by then. once you get in the bed, he's reaching for you. it's cute

---------

okay, thank you for coming to my ted talk

#lmk smut #lmk x reader #sun wukong #sun wukong x reader #wukong x reader #sun wukong lmk

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glorismorningstar · 2 months

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THE LION CHRONICLES

Pairings: girlfriend!Lute x f!reader, fatherfigure!Alastor x f!reader, Charlie x overprotective!Vaggie + f!bodyguard!reader, situationship!Carmilla Carmine x f!reader

Summary: Charlie is asked to attend a meeting with Heaven, and Vaggie asks Y/N to keep an eye on her. Begrudgingly, she agrees, but not without taking the necessary precautions. A dreaded yet hoped-for encounter occurs, which triggers unforgettable memories.

Warnings: daddy issues, canon-typical violence, Adam being Adam, brief lesbian smut, fluff, angst, grief, sadness, mentions of sex, WLW

A/N: I'm fully aware that the trailer was a major flop, but this story is purely self indulgent and has been in my head for so long that I need to get it out :)

| Part 0 // Part 1 // Part 2 |

˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

27 YEARS LATER…

“So, what do you think?” Alastor asked as he turned off the TV. He had just shown us the commercial he'd made for the hotel, and while Charlie and Vaggie were off-put and disappointed, I had to hold back a snort of laughter.

“That was hysterical,” I laughed, resting my elbows on top of the backrest of the couch. “May I have a copy of that?”

“Y/N!” Vaggie barked.

“Right, right!” I cleared my throat. While this was one of the most entertaining things I'd seen in a long while - since that dipshit Vox was unable to put on anything good in the seven years that Alastor was gone, or even before that - it wasn't oriented to what we wanted to do for sinners, it did not once mention redemption or our ambition to help souls checking out into Heaven.

“I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?” Vaggie snapped.

“Uh, yeah, one note… Alastor…” Charlie hesitated, trying to find the words to criticize the commercial without aggravating Alastor, whose grin hadn't wasted a beat in growing strained. “I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this, seriously amazing! But, um, maybe the tone is a bit off.”

Alastor, tilting his head a little and furrowing his brows in his own fashion of a glare, was visibly offended, expression betraying his ever-present smile. I had always found his grin curious, ever since the day he and Rosie had rescued me, I wondered about his choice to smile permanently. A smile is a powerful tool, he'd say, it keeps your friends inspired, your enemies guessing, and assures that no matter what happens, you're the one in control.

“We want people to want to come here, but this makes it look… um…” she continued, attempting to word her sentence properly.

“Bad. The word you're looking for is bad.” Vaggie completed. While Sera had taught me to be polite, her brutal honesty was refreshing.

“Funny, I was going for hilarious!” Alastor said and tilted his head to the side, neck rolling with a crack.

“Agreed, but comedy isn't the purpose of the ad.” I said with a soft tilt of my head.

“It didn't say anything about how we're trying to save demons from the extermination, which is the whole fucking point.”

“Vaggie is right, Alastor. The commercial is to let sinners know we are trying to help them.” Said Charlie.

“Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for quite some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show - the proper medium to express oneself,” he said, holding his finger up for emphasis, which made me chuckle, then I laced my fingers together and rested my chin on my conjoined hands. “But you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement! So I had a little fun with it.”

His inability - and unwillingness - to hide his thinly veiled contempt for modern technology never failed to amuse me. I was among the oldest beings in creation, only younger than very few souls, but I had grown accustomed to television, cinema and social media. His insistence on radio broadcasts and their superiority was quite humorous.

“Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it?” Vaggie said, getting up from her seat. She was about to lose her patience, and I couldn't blame her. This was an important thing, for it to work out, it was vital that it was taken seriously by everyone involved. “This is not what we want to represent us! When you showed up here a week ago, you said you would help run this hotel, instead you're mocking us! No one is gonna come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time.”

As if on cue, a pink gloved hand raised from the couch opposite the fireplace. I sighed and tilted my head to look at him, boredly smushing my cheek against my hand. “What?”

“If'n ya filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?” Angel Dust asked, four fingers pointing at himself.

“I don't know if you can, but you most certainly may not.” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in exasperation. His views on sex were the polar opposite of mine. Heavenly standards had always discouraged giving in to such temptations, but that was one among the many ways in which I had rebelled. Nevertheless, for me sex had always been a way to express strong feelings of affection rather than just a simple exchange of bodily fluids. When I lived in Heaven, Lute and I had always made love with the purpose of worshiping and pleasuring each other, while Angel did so simply for the sake of reaching the climax, which I found immature and foolish.

“Angel, you're a porn star.” Vaggie pointed out with visible dismissal of his idea.

“A famous porn star!” He corrected. “I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in.”

“We're not filming a porn as a commercial.” Vaggie spoke, as if it wasn't obvious enough to the effeminate man.

“Why not?”

“Where do I begin? It's disgusting, it's unrealistic, it's immoral, and it makes little to no sense, among other things.” I listed out, counting each point on my fingers while I gazed at him with a grimace.

“No sense? Sex sells, don't it?” He said, rubbing his fingertips together. “I swear, if you film me going at it with Mr. Fancy Talk Creepy Voice here, you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel.”

The simple thought made me gag. Alastor's asexuality was to be respected, for his sake and for my own peace of mind. “Ha, ha! Never going to happen!”

“Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your… special skills to, um… attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you! In that way.” Charlie winced, giving a polite but awkward smile to dismiss such a notion.

“Oh, please, baby, this body was made to be exploited,” he drawled and puffed his chest, making poses to highlight his sexual desirability. “I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity, ha, ha, I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff the everyone thinks are tits-”

His narcissistic rambling was interrupted by Charlie's ringtone, which made me breathe a sigh of relief and stop tugging on my ears. As she excused herself to take the phone call, I zoned out for a minute, tail curling around my hip as the fluffy tip twitched idly. I heard her say “dad”, which drew a soft smile from me. If only Lucifer had been there to support my rebellion then, maybe things might have been a little different. I hadn't seen him in ages. We used to get along fairly well, and when I needed secret meetings to try to make peace, he was my main contact. Despite our strong friendship, I knew he'd recognize me immediately if he saw me again, so I refrained from reaching out.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Husk once again rejecting Angel's flirting. It really was annoying.

Husk and I had met through Alastor, as the poor guy was owned by the Overlord. We had more in common than I'd thought, including our feline traits, both physical and characteristic, and a mutual annoyance with Angel Dust. I felt bad for how Alastor treated him, I always believed it was unfair, but his rage was one of the most chilling, terrifying things one could ever witness, and I wasn't stupid enough to allow myself to be the object of his frustrations. It was already a miracle he was the closest thing to a father I'd ever have.

“Vaggie! Holy shit!”

“Pah!” I yelped, ears pulling back as Charlie's outburst startled me.

“Ah! What?”

“Get over here!”

Their cute relationship made a fond chuckle fall from my lips, watching with a small smile as Vaggie walked over behind the wall to talk to Charlie.

When I heard her mention a meeting with the leader of the exorcist army, my stomach dropped to my knees. Adam.

He was almost my brother-in-law, brought into my social circle by Lute. I didn't admire him like he liked to think everyone did, but I did respect him, for Lute's sake. It was important to her that I got along with her best friend, and I couldn't deny her such a thing.

- I can do this, somehow I know it

I'll get Heaven behind my plans

- Charlie, hold on

I could hear Charlie singing. She did always have a thing for singing songs at random times, a habit that straddled the line between endearing and entertaining, and annoying and irritating.

- There's just no way I could blow this

Not this once in a lifetime chance

- It's just a meeting

Ah, yes, just a meeting, I thought with a sigh. The poor girl was about to go to her first meeting with Adam of all people. It was like taking her driver's test in a bus.

- To change their minds, to touch their hearts

Or whatever angels have

I frowned a little at the prejudice. Angels do so have hearts. It was the hypocrisy that bugged me.

- This could be bad

- Cheer up, Vaggie

This could be swell

Something tells me that today is gonna be a happy day in Hell

- Okay, but just don't sing to them

Ah, the famous last words. Charlie was already out the door before Vaggie could even finish the sentence, strutting around through Hell as if it were the land of cupcakes and rainbows.

- That bitch is halfway down the street

- Is she-?

- Oh, she's dancing

- Ugh, no

I sighed and leaned against the door frame, tail curling as I watched the princess walking down the street. “Y/N, you should accompany her to the meeting. Say you're the bodyguard or something.”

“Ha, ha, yeah, right.” I laughed with pure sarcasm. The simple idea of being in the same room as someone with divine ordainment after almost three decades made my head spin with anxiety.

“Fine, then at least keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't run into some weirdass on the way.” Vaggie proposed. While it bordered on stalking, it was true that Charlie could be a bit too carefree, and it was the least I could do to help.

“Fine.” I groaned, pulling on the hood of my cloak, and followed her path down the street, dodging disgusting views and unpleasant sinners on the way. The fact that I'd be hearing Adam's voice after this long was nerve-wracking, to say the least. I wouldn't be speaking to him, obviously, if it were so I would have outright fainted, but being in a one mile radius of any personality from the right side of the pearly gates made my lungs constrict.

˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

As I stood in front of the tall golden tower of Heaven's embassy, a flurry of edgy butterflies swarmed in my stomach. I inhaled deeply through my nose and slowly exhaled through my mouth, then hurried inside after Charlie before the door could close, slipping in the shadows to keep her from seeing me.

When she signed the paper and entered the meeting room, I finally relaxed and laid on one of the couches in the deserted lobby, pulling my hood down and sighing as I stared at the ceiling. I could hear Adam's boisterous laugh, muffled by the walls, and my stomach did a backflip. I buried my face in my hands and took a few deep breaths, trying to get my shit together.

“You think I'd come down there? No, I mean, I love the vibe. Totally, love your tunes. Pretty fuckin’ hardcore, don't get me wrong, but it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there is so bleugh, heh… ew.” His shenanigans never failed to make me roll my eyes. I never once agreed with him on anything, barely even on the smallest of dilemmas, like which milkshake flavor was the best. But there was an unspoken agreement between us to put up with each other's shit, motivated by our closeness with Lute.

My gaze then flickered around the room, which hadn't changed in twenty-seven years. I could remember when I'd first been here to meet with Lucifer in secret to attempt to stop the exterminations. It all felt like it was eons ago, when in reality it hadn't even been half a century, a microscopic fraction to my long life as a Seraphim.

“Adam, sir… Mr. Adam, sir-”

“Call me Dickmaster.”

A ghost of a laugh fell from my lips at the nickname. It had been so long since I'd heard him and his narcissistic ramblings about his sexual prowess. Word in Heaven and outside was that he was just as good as he purported, which I didn't find too hard to believe, as he was neither an unattractive nor an inexperienced man.

“It's the solution to our biggest problem!”

“Herpes! Yeah, that's a bitch.”

“No, our other biggest problem!”

“Oh, um… ugly people? Math? Global warming! No, wait, that's Earth's problem. When you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check, and you're like, hey, I thought you wanted equality!”

“No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell.”

“Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We've got that covered! Lute, how many demons-”

Lute?

Lute was here?

I scrambled to the door and pressed my ear up against it, listening for any sign of her, her voice, her footsteps, her auditory mannerisms. Anything.

“Got a good 275 this year, sir.”

I rested my hand against the door and sniffed, breathing out a shaky, broken sigh as I slumped into a ball on the floor, leaning my ear against the cold surface. Hearing the ethereal sound of her voice after three decades felt like reaching an oasis after having wandered the desert, a ray of sunlight in a dark tunnel. My eyes flooded with tears as I let out silent sobs, covering my mouth with my hand as I kept listening for her voice, in desperate need of getting whatever glimpse of her I could.

I wondered what she thought of me now, so long after I disappeared with no trace. I could barely even imagine the pain she must have gone through - or was still going through - if she thought I was dead… or worse, if she thought I abandoned her. If she thought I didn't love her and Emily and Sera anymore, and decided I'd live a better life elsewhere. The thought of her hating me made me choke a sob, the hearing range too short for the emotions I wanted to show.

For fuck's sake, she was the love of my life. Why the fuck didn't I go in as the bodyguard? What was going through my head when Charlie said she'd be meeting Adam? You can't have Adam without Lute, how stupid could I have been to not think of that? I missed her face so much… her golden, intelligent eyes, her pretty little nose, her mischievous smirk, her thick, fluttering eyelashes… God, how I loved her face…

“They're not the same. They had their chance, and they earned damnation.”

I didn't even care what she was saying right now, I just needed to hear her.

“...but everyone makes mistakes.”

“Angels don't make mistakes.”

“You really think that?”

“I know that.”

I'd heard that before.

˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

With a last harsh suck to her clit, her thighs clamped around my head and she cried out my name, squirming and mewling as my face remained buried in the paradise between her legs. I lifted my head to meet her eyes and licked my lips clean of her sweet juices while her hand lingered on my hair, grip on my locks loosening as her chest heaved with the exertion. Giving her an affectionate smile, I shifted to get up and grab something to clean her, but she stopped me before I could do so. “Stay.”

I smiled at her and leaned my head on her thigh, planting the occasional kiss on her soft skin. “I love the way you taste.”

“You say that every time you go down on me.” She giggled, carding her fingers through my hair.

“And I'll keep saying it over and over, my love.” I smiled, resting my forehead on the soft flesh of her thigh and closing my eyes.

I heard her let out a quiet chuckle as her hand kept stroking my hair, head falling back against her pillow as she slowly regained her breath. Everything about her mesmerized me. Being with Lute felt more right than being with any man in this universe. The way she tasted, the way she smelled, the way she looked, the noises she made, they all made me fall in love with her more with each encounter. My thoughts wandered to her military training and the extermination. Even putting aside the betrayal of Sera making such a decision, with the way Lute spoke about enrolling in the army, I'd never have peace of mind. Heaven was a lie, indeed. I wanted to stop it so badly, to protect Emily from such knowledge, to find a solution different from violence, to take some weight off Sera's shoulders, to save Lute's life.

I shook such thoughts out of my head and crawled up to lie flat on top of her, giving her a tender kiss on the lips and resting my forehead on hers. She wrapped her legs around my waist, locking her ankles on my lower back, and said, “What's with the frown, princess?”

I sighed and looked at the helmet on her nightstand, then back into her eyes. “Do you think it's possible to make peace with Hell?”

“What?” She asked with something between a scoff and a laugh. “Of course not. They had their chance to be good, and look at what they did instead.”

“And that was a mistake,” I conceded, tenderly brushing the hair out of her eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was make this boil over into an argument, so I kept my tone soft and gentle. “But there's no one that doesn't make mistakes.”

“Angels don't make mistakes, love.” She replied.

“Strongly disagree.” I sighed, looking to the side again with a small frown. To name a few, Sera chose to approve the extermination and put Adam, of all people, in charge. It was true that he was sort of an in-law to me, and the best that could be said of our relationship was that we had mutual respect, but he was self-absorbed, reckless and obnoxious, a testosterone-fueled wind-up soldier that marched wherever his sex-clouded brain told him to. And to think that poor Emily still believed she lived in this perfect, unbiased realm of bliss.

“Hey,” Lute cooed, taking my chin in between her fingertips and tipping it to meet her eyes. “What Sera did was for your own good. She just wants to protect you, and so do I.”

She then grabbed my cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. The gesture made me smile a bit. I knew she wanted my wellbeing, but if only there was a way to do so that wasn't so violent…

“Come on, no more pouting,” she said, nuzzling our noses together. “What do you say we cuddle a bit and tomorrow we go out for ice cream?”

“Hmm… sounds fun. Thank you.” I mumbled and trailed a few soft kisses across her shoulder, then rested my head on her chest and closed my eyes, reveling in her presence.

My gaze once again fell on her exorcist's helmet. Those rotten black horns, striped with white and curled at the tips, the × over the right eye and that ragged smile… I loathed everything about it. The fear of losing her to this was too big. I'd do whatever it took to spare her and my family from this barbarity.

˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The moment Adam opened the door, the color dissipated from my skin.

He was holding Charlie by the wrist - thankfully she had her back to me - and beside him was Lute.

Lute, in that familiar gray uniform and that horrible mask.

Her eyes met mine for a split second and I felt the wind being knocked out of me when she squinted and her body language shifted ever so slightly, which made me gasp and pull my hood back on, ears pulling back in fear and tail taking cover between my legs, and in the time she simply blinked, I ran away on all fours as fast as my legs could carry me, not stopping until I reached the hotel. My legs felt like they could crumble any second, my lungs screaming for breath and my throat begging for water, but I wouldn't stop until I was far away from the embassy.

˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

As night befell the Pentagram, I laid on my bed and stared out the window in deep thought about the day's events. I opened the drawer in my nightstand and grabbed a picture, gazing at it fondly. It was me and Lute on date night, slow dancing to some cheesy love song we liked. I had an arm around her while my free hand held hers as she looked at me with heart-shaped eyes.

I wondered if she'd still look at me that way now, if she didn't hate me for disappearing without a message or note or any information on where I'd gone beforehand. A part of me didn't want to know the answer.

My phone dinged with a new notification, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Fuck.”

Hey corazón <3

21:14

You coming over tonight?

21:14

Shit, Carmilla. When my brain registered Lute's presence earlier today, everyone else was dead to me. Thankfully, I was grounded back to reality when I got back to the hotel, but I couldn't just ditch Carmilla for a person I may or may not see ever again. Then again, I couldn't abandon Lute, the woman I loved with all my heart and soul for years on end, for a mere carnal relationship.

I sighed and texted back my response,

Sorry babe, I'm not in the mood tonight :(

21:17

Good night

21:18

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lute x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin lute #hazbin vaggie #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel charlie x reader #charlie morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel carmilla #carmilla carmine #carmilla x reader #carmilla carmine x reader #lute x reader #the lion chronicles

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crookedteethed · 3 months

Text

NSFW abcs | r.c.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It depends on what kind of fuck it's been.

If you were some slut on the beach he found, that's exactly what Rafe would treat you like: a slut on the beach. There is no sentimental value; it's purely for his pleasure; he's in and out.

If you were someone he actually cared for, Rafe would be so clingy with you after sex, molding your bodies together and kissing your temples; his hand often swipes over your folds to check if you're still wet (for round two).

I feel like Rafe may have an insecure attachment style, so that man would be holding to you so tight after sex, ensuring that you would never leave him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On him, Rafe's favorite body part would be his hands. We all know Rafe's belligerent and loves a good fight, so why wouldn't he like the two things that could kick anyone's ass? (or the things that could lightly take out your pulse during sex).

On you, his favorite body part would be your tits. Rafe's a tits man. He loves randomly groping them and sucking them (during and outside of sex. Bonus points if you're expecting, and they're all plump with milk and all swell.) It's also just something about your hardened nipple that resembles your clit. to him.

He'd also love your little clit. No explanation is needed.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

God, he loves making you cum. At some point during sex with you, it would stop being about his pleasure and purely about yours; simply just to hear your elongated whimpers and moans and watch your pretty face scrunch into a look of pain and watch you cream all over his cock.

He'd like how after you'd both cum and he still fucks himself into you (he may or may not be trying to fuck a baby into you), he loved seeing a ring of both your cum mixed at the base of his shaft.

And though squirting isn't technically cumming, he'd love trying to make you squirt, simply because that's what he saw "Virgin slut squirts for the first time" do on PH.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

To elaborate on the squirting thing, I feel like a dirty secret of Rafe's is that he would like watching you piss.

This fascination was fueled by him making you squirt one day and seeing that pretty stream spurt from your pretty little hole.

He wouldn't count it as a piss kink, though, because he wouldn't want to pee on you (or vice versa). It's just like he likes following you to the bathroom whenever you go and watching you pee (he even sometimes offers to help you wipe.).

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Uniquely, the Kook King wouldn't know his way around some pussy.

His body count is standard, maybe 4-6.

Before he indulged in committed relationships, Rafe wouldn't care for his partner's pleasure, so he wouldn't care anything about reaching her g-spot or massaging her clit, that was until he met you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Rafe has a staring problem when it comes to having sex with you.

His favorite position is any position where he can see your face; he just can't get enough of the faces he causes you to make during sex. ( or any position where he can easily wrap his fingers around your neck. ).

Face-to-face standing, missionary (god, he loves this one), face-forward cowgirl.

But I feel like if Rafe's mad at you, or just angry in general, and wants to take his anger out on you; he would def force you face down ass up.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on how Rafe feels at the moment.

If he's completely sober, in the right mind, he's not undoubtedly serious, but he's not goofy either; he wouldn't be like Rafe, who's high out of his mind on cannabis, though.

If Rafe's weed high, he's going to be giggly ass hell, and referring to his balls as the "boys" or his cock as "Rafe jr."

Again, if he's mad, he's in and out. No smiles, no nothing.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Honestly, Rafe isn't too big on bushes.

On him, he keeps his hair down to a minimum, lightly tamed and trimmed.

On you, preferably, he would want you to be entirely bare down there, but he understands that getting waxed twice a week is too time-consuming, so you both compromise that you have your hair tamed and trimmed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

As I mentioned before, I feel like Rafe has an anxious attachment style, so during sex, that part of him kicks in, which is intimate to show that part of him to you.

He's putting you both in a position where he can sink himself deeper inside of you slowly--bringing you closer to each other.

He whimpers in your ear, telling you that he "never wants this to end" or asking you, "Is this real?"

Saying, "He doesn't deserve you, and he doesn't know what he'll do without you."

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he's horny, and you're away at work or school or on a family vacation, Rafe's right hand is the way to go.

Before you, he used to watch PH, but now he keeps a hidden album called "spank bank" in his gallery, all videos or pictures of you and him fucking, or you playing with yourself with your new toys he'd bought you.

Or when you both don't want to drive to one another house, you do a mutual masturbation on Facetime.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He has a choking kink (duh).

He likes the idea of anal, but you guys have never tried it yet.

And he also has an exhibition kink.

Praise kink.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

To embellish Rafe's exhibition kink: He would do it anywhere with you, as long as some wall or bush is covering you both.

The balcony at Tannyhill, the supply closet at the golf course, the secluded area on the beach, once even during midsummer's in the men's handicap stall.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He likes it when you wear your short skirts, and he can see just the curve of your ass, when you're innocently sitting on his lap, watching you pee, when he makes you laugh, or when he has to mansplain something to you, etc etc

Anything you do turns him on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

One thing Rafe won't do is have sex with you while he's coked out simply because his dick wouldn't let him.

You'll try teasing him by flashing him your tits or your fanny, but he'll end up with erectile dysfunction.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Of course, he liked receiving oral.

But at first, Rafe wouldn't care too much about giving, until he saw how needy you had gotten from him just sucking your clit and lapping at your folds with his tongue.

What he would love the most is you pushing his head down while he's sucking on you because it's rather selfish. You, cutting all his air supply just for you to feel pleasure? How cute.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood.

He's mad= fast and rough.

He's happy= slow and sensual.

If he's in between, he's normally neutral going between the lines of fast and slow.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As mentioned, you and Rafe fucked in public quite a few times, and each of those times has been quickies. But if Rafe could, he would love to have full-on passionate sex on the golf field at the country club with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I would say Rafe is pretty risky; he thrives on getting caught in public with you one day.

He thrives on the thought of another man one day seeing you naked and stuffed with him inside of you. This turns him on because he knows he's the only one that can take you like this.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Rafe can go four to five rounds on average, with occasional breaks.

When he's in a playful mood (semi-rare), he loves overstimulating and teasing you, and those four to five rounds can quickly turn into six to seven.

He usually tries not cum until the last three rounds. He thinks about gross shit that turns him off until then.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Before meeting Rafe, you only had one cheeky bullet vibrator that often broke down on you.

While dating Rafe, he would buy you so many sex toys: dildos, wands, clitoris vibrators.

Your toys were Rafe's toys.

You both wouldn't use them much while you were together. The primary purpose of your sex toys was for the times you were having sex on FaceTime or sending videos of you playing with yourself to him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Rafe loves overstimulating you; it's funny, in a way. How suddenly you were begging him to stop because it's "too much." but three rounds ago, you were whining at him, "to go faster, Rafe." or "fuck me harder."

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He wouldn't care too much about the baritone "fucks" or "shit, baby's" he made.

You, on the other hand.

Rafe wants to hear all your little moans and whimpers or praises.

He wants to listen to you say how good he's making you feel or how no one's ever made you feel this way.

It let's him know he's doing something good (for once.).

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

It'll be overlooked in the relationship, but Rafe would be extremely possessive over you.

He'll ensure he's the only one taking you to and from work or school.

He tracks your location on the days you're both apart (making sure you're not with some shit pogues.).

He makes you wear a necklace with the letter R so everyone knows you're his.

Constantly groping you at parties, telling you never to leave his side.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hard, Rafe is about 7.1 inches.

He has one of those dicks that you would call "pretty" with its slight curve and thick veins and its pretty pink mushroom tip.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Most of the time, Rafe is the one to initiate sex, seeing that everything you do get's his cock going.

On the days you're the one to initiate sex, he's going to wind up the one with the highest sex drive because it's you!! You want to have sex with him, like right now?!

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Rafe's a night owl, so even after sex, he stays up for hours afterward, unless while you two are cuddling and you both are lazy and Rafe's cock is still snugged inside of you.

The only way Rafe can go to bed after sex is if you're cockwarming him.

His body is warm and tingly, and he feels safe, with everything you surrounding him. Nothing could go wrong with having you in this moment, so you both drift off to sleep.

#crookedteethed #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron headcanons #rafe cameron smut #abcs #outer banks #the obx #Rafe Cameron abcs #headcanon #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #possessive Rafe Cameron #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #obx fanfiction #obx fic

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obsessive-valentine · 3 months

Note

Could you make a NSFW alphabet for Yandere!Farmer? 🎀

NSFW Alphabet Dark!Yandere Farmer x GN!Reader

This one has mentions of dub-con and non-con, if this makes you uncomfortable please skip letters N,O,W or don’t read at all. Farmers not a sadistic yandere but his coercive tendencies are mentioned in this one, it’s a take it or leave it hc but this yandere is for readers into darker stories. ❤️

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Probably the softest he’s ever been, partially because he’s exhausted and part because he actually does love darling and believes they are deserving enough of a bit of a fuss after indulging him. Makes sure they drink water before settling down for a cuddle.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His body gets the job done and that’s enough for him, so he doesn’t really give it much thought unless darling compliments something (“I guess I do have nice hair” very smug). But he has amazing muscles and defined torso that he flaunts on hot days on the farm. He loves darlings thighs, always having a hand resting or squeezing on them when ever he can; it’s just where his hands subconsciously drift... no other reason (inches his hand further up their leg)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Unintentionally abstains from cumming for weeks at a time (usually durning busy months on the farm) so when darling gives him the green and makes him cum he’s forgotten how good it feels and needs a moment to re-collect himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

During the beginning of the kidnapping relationship he did all chores by himself like usual, including laundry. He’d take darlings underwear and use them when he had to jack off.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very little experience, he’s lived on the secluded farm most his life. He knows how to fuck hard and find the clit or g-spot, the rest will come with time.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position he has total control over, especially fond of face down ass up -so he can grab darlings hips and pound them better.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Serious and focused.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s a busy man but he cares enough to shave his face/trim his hair and the same goes for pubes ✋ we love a clean blue collar man.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Not very romantic during the moment, he’s very primal/feral. But afterwards he makes a point to be soft and romantic to make up for it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Like mentioned before he’s a busy man, but he definitely has had to jack off more often when darling comes into his life. It’s more of an inconvenience and quickly taken care off in the bathroom before he goes on like nothing happened. Also as mentioned before it’s with darlings underwear.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Marking, realises this after being a bit to rough and leaving bruises on darling one time and begins doing it intentionally. Encourages darling to dig their nail into him if it get to much too -and proudly wears their marks on the farm, shirtless.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Sometimes it’s outside, it doesn’t matter to him because no ones going to see and if they were to they wouldn’t be alive much longer. But prefers the sofa or a counter just because it’s easier.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Darling being submissive or dependant on him, knowing he’s all they have and he can have every inch of them if he wanted. It’s why he’s so tame after punishments or when darlings sick because darling is drained and lets him be close without fuss or tension. He wouldn’t take advantage of them just because of that factor but it does turn him on

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Using sex as punishments or darling fighting him, he’d rather indoctrinate darling to like sex at least half as much as he does. But there might be times where there’s elements of Dub-con, convincing and persuasion to get darling into that comprising position, but it’s not malicious to him and will stop if darling gets really upset.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Will give as a reward or to ease darlings nervousness before sex, but doesn’t last long until he looses control and starts fucking them. I don’t think he’d receive though -because he doesn’t trust darling not to do something stupid for quite a while.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

Fast and rough, darlings insides will be bruised in the morning. He has trouble holding himself back once he has what he wants.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Totally up for a quickie, especially mid day when he has to get back to work but also wants to satisfy darlings needs.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s happy with what he gets so he wouldn’t push it but if darling were to ask I do see him being open minded. But not much of a risk taker.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Doesn’t last as long as he’d think the first few times (how good sex is catches him off guard) but will go for more rounds if darlings not a blubbering mess. Will be happy with just one round or three - he just takes what ever he can get.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Wouldn’t buy them, to much of a fuss for something he can do himself. (He’s a D.I.Y man 🥵)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not verbally but maybe a bit of physical teasing as foreplay on darling, edging them so they have to give in and beg for him- but during sex he can’t hold himself back and therefore doesn’t expect darling to have to either.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Very animalistic and verbal so a lot of growling, sharp moans and swearing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He doesn’t get off on darlings fear despite how much he provokes fear from them on a daily basis, he uses it to control them more than a sadistic thing. He loves submission.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Everything about this man is big and his cock is no exception.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He doesn’t realise how high it is since he’s so busy especially with the animals and darlings antics. But he could easily fuck multiple times a day but refuses to give in to such primal urges. It honestly scares him how addicted he becomes after his and darlings first time together.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

‘Rests his eyes’ as soon as he can. Once the adrenaline’s worn off and his darlings comfortable he closes his eyes, and stays in a light sleep for sometime. So he’s pretty responsive for the first hour (in case darling would want anything) until he completely crashes and falls asleep. (Even then he’s still a light sleeper so darling finds it hard to tell if he’s actually sleeping or resting his eyes because he’ll always insist he was resting and not even if it’s the middle of the night)

#yandere oc #x reader #yandere #yandere farmer

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