#man that's a lot of words huh

[milksnake-tea]

apparently sagau has infected hsr and while i have my own opinions on it i propose this

sahsrau but the reader isn't a god. nonono we don't do that we let the aeons deal with responsibility. no.

sahsrau except the reader is this eldritch apparition ghost looking thing with a gambling addiction who floats around the trailblazer and whose job is to feed into said trailblazer's intrusive thoughts and be horny. and ig occasionally turn people into indestructible weapons of mass destruction but yk that's kinda a side gig we're mainly here for the hot people

this is the only form of sahsrau i will accept i refuse to be omniscient in an absolute clown game like star rail no if we play with clowns we gotta join the circus

#honkai star rail self aware au #sahsrau #sagau #question mark ??? #hsr #honkai star rail #man those are a lot of words huh #guys we should really work on the abbreviation i cant type seven letters in correct order all the time you expect too much of it #why cant we just call it idk uhhhh #circus au #or intrusive thoughts au #idk #but this abbreviation makes me cry #thinking out loud 🏵️

[spearxwind]

Something I've been thinking a lot recently after becoming a lot more social and going out is like. How different people really LOOK in general. Or rather, I've always seen it but I've been noticing it more. Different body types, different faces, different features.... etc. Everyone is so different looking.

There isn't a way you could possibly gauge how "beautiful" someone is because everyone is so different, and everyone's perception and preferences are different. Someone who you could consider extremely handsome could have deep seated self image issues, and someone who looks unremarkable to you might be someone's ideal.

I feel like being online and constantly exposed to the same types of faces, especially the type of people who become popular online due to the appearance, they always have the same set of features, same set of body types. It's not inherently bad, people do gravitate towards them because there's beauty standards that certain people fit. But in general exposure to people who look all similar rots the brain. It rots your self image. It distances you from your own community as well.

It bleeds into how people handle their relationships, it brings prejudice to people just based on their appearance, and it sucks so much to actually like, fully consciously REALIZE. Everyone is worthy of love, no matter how they look like (this includes you btw!! Yeah you!!! <3) no matter what the media says. It sounds like something sooo obvious but it really is something that grows roots in your brain given the chance and is hard to pull out.

Feeling like you're in an arms race against your peers to "score" someone who you could pass for an instagram model, instead of finding someone who you truly connect with. Having to deeply justify your partners and friendships to your family as being worth it, when they don't look like celebrities on TV and just look like regular people. (This has been my personal experience for a long time, but I feel like theres probably more people who have gone through the same)

"What will other people think? What will my family think?" is something constantly on my mind whenever I make any friends, and im only recently realizing that it really does not matter what they do think what matters is one's own happiness.

Not sure where I am going with this post I just wanted to write it out for a few days now and I finally did it <3 have a swag day

#thunderclap #words #i just think people should live without the constant pressure of appearances both your own and your peers. its literally brainrot #everyone everywhere is so different there are a thousand faces a thousand bodies a thousand features theres eight billion people on earth #its so terrible that we are always focused on the same ones and call them beautiful when theres so much to people in general #does this make any fucking sense? god im so tired but im feeling this a lot recently. man.......... #my own appearance has been both praised and degraded for years years years and its fucked up my way of perceiving people for my whole life #idk... theres so much nuance to this whole conversation ofc i cant fit it all into one (1) post #like... recently realizing my mom is to blame for like 90% of my body image issues has had me reeling. like hello. #dont get me wrong i love her but damn that family can self project their flaws needlessly on the next generation huh

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#man. nights are. Hard huh #Uhhh this is. Another vent post HEAVY trigger warnings for this one #honestly I wouldn't bother reading this nothing'll come of it good or bad so #don't worry about me ill be fine in the morning just need to. Scream into the void again #....again serious serious trigger warnings on this I'm too tired to say specifics but I know it'll be fucked so #Anyway #maybe Jade's right maybe I do need to see a therapist #she talked about some medication for anxiety and it's effects and what is like on and off the stuff #And...... #........'waking up and going to bed on the verge of tears' vs 'not doing that' #sounds................ #............christ. I... #I'm not suicidal I think I'd never actually follow through nor would I bother to self harm #None of that would solve anything for me and I'm too chicken to do it regardless #But..... #......i sure do think the words 'I wanna throw myself off a cliff' kind of a lot #killing myself is sounding less like a vague weird concept and more grounded in reality #hhhh #do I need to talk to someone about this? maybe #am I going to? probably not #is putting this on my public blog where I know there's a very good chance a bunch of people really close to me will see it a cry for help? #............................................................ #i dunno #just know my chest hurts all the time and Im always a few seconds away from breaking down in tears at any given moment #and I just kind of want everything to stop #just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop #wanna turn my brain off and just leave it like that #everything sucks and is hard and getting harder and despite being absolutely surrounded by love and support #I keep having these horrible low points and the high points feel further and further away #....anyway.....this is the last tag it'll let me do so. um. I'm sorry for whoever does read this... hope you're having a decent night

[misclogarts]

asian parents will literally do everything except get their kid therapy (devotion 2019)

#this is a half joke btw i have an even more coherent analysis on i'm just. processing because HOLY SHIT. #RED CANDLE GAMES. first off like with detention the visuals are one of (if not) THE strongest point of the game #in how it gets you immersed into the setting and story especially. it does an amazing job of telling a story without using too much words a #as a fan of horror this honest to god broke my heart because it not only is so tragic but it hits close to home 😭 #i have so much more to say but i can't get my thoughts together atm. it's a shame that this was taken down from steam because it's SO GOOD. #honestly i kind if cried a little (a lot) at some parts and especially at the end.. having cultural context just does that to you huh anywa #itlogthoughts #edit: yellow tulips in the context of the game's setting means hope and cheer. it is planted to bring good luck; fortune; or better times #in this essay i will- #okay but it's the fact that mei folded tulips to manage her anxiety and in the end also loved her yellow tulip plant dearly #(*and the yellow tulip referred to in the hallway scene during the ritual; the man speaking may be referring to the protagonist rather than #-his daughter. and how he sacrificed his body money and blood to keep hope that his daughter could “be rid” of her illness) #and how in one scene her room is covered from floor to ceiling in yellow tulips. i might fall ill #it's the way she even hoped to the end that she would be alright; that she would recover and her parents would watch her on tv together? #as a family? i might cry again sorry guys

[green-mountain-goose]

whatever happens i cant fail is an *abysmal* strategy for living life. and yet rn....

#its not a good long term strategy #also i remember my physics teacher saying life isn't a 98% on a test lol #but also this was the same teacher that hasnt taught me very much mechanics since the start of the year because she presumes people just... #*know* #the further mathmaticians do #not meeeee though #i cant guage whats hard and whats just me being the dumbest idiot there #anyways the way i communicated that to her after the third lunchtime i spent with her doing mechanics somewhat properly was i told her #that it felt like being in plato's cave #and tbh a truer statement has never been said by moi #anyways this all ties together #i cant fail (get less than an A) in phys #and i'm not fucking giving up on mechanics #sooooooo #i'll just cope and get through it whatever way i can #btw i remember my first lesson of statics like 2 months ago #uhmmmmmm..... #she went straight into it and was like guysssss you know this righttttt? ✨ #and she literally speaks with glitter at the end of sentences like this lol ✨ #i should've predicted the future months of mechanics from that huh lol #i mean the only positive of this was like #in my last test #i was able to explain very clearly what principles apply *in words* to a problem #becuase those principles are fucking hammered into my head #i got full marks on those questions compared to a lot of my quite mathsy classmates #idk man im just gonna have at least a competent grip on mechanics so my grade is decent hm

[dutybcrne]

I am a simple Allie: I see unhinged, I wanna put em with Taru or Kae

#//Secret option: with Luc or Kaveh hdhdbdb #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//This is abt Scar of the WuWa hdhfh #//I am ENAMOURED by he #//And I want to give him the most ridiculous potentially chaos crossover ship jfbfb #//Kav and Taru are winning in my brain tho hfbbf #//Bc I think Kav and Scar is just SO FUCKEN DIFFERENT it tickles my brain #//And then Taru and Scar; they will be a fucken Danger to everyone including themselves #//And they would enjoy every second of it: I feel it in my BONES #//Meanwhile with Kav; he has to try and handle a man who would commit Attrocities for his specialest boi #//And Kav is done a STRESS; both bc the attrocities AND worrying abt Scar in the same breath #//I love the idea of him tryna keep him safe from Cyno; esp if he got too invested in Scar’s wellbeing too soon #//And now he has an Attachment; and would feel AWFUL giving him up to the Law #//Then again; he wouldn’t have to do anything really bfbfb #//Bc Scar just keeps coming back to him like a stray cat findin the person who consistently feeds it; even if he DOES get arrested #//‘Arrested’ #//It that one meme of the guy looking up at the girl’s window and she calls police on him and he gets dragged away hdbfb #//Actually I think that’s funnier hfbfb #//Kav being 100% on board with sending him off to be arrested by Cyno #//By also being SO attached; he can’t say no when Scar pulls up asking for a plate of whatever Kav & Haiyi dined #//Hdhfbfb #//‘Here eat well’ ‘this is delicious! Is your matra friend on his way?’ ‘Haitham left the room to call him when I let you in-‘ ‘aight fair’ #//I gotta keep playing wuwa i think i wanna let this one cook more before I REALLY ramble jfbf #//For SURE Kav would hexkin EXPLODE at the endearments and coy words #//Taru would just be Confused like ‘me??? You mean me??? HUH! :D’ #//The way I see it now; Taru is prolly the one that’d ACTUALLY catch his eye like that bc of his thoughts on doing anything to be strong #//Meanwhile Kav is just the guy he goes to for a quick recharge bc hes so caring; would take a Lot if at all to actually win him over #//Tho Kav being so willing to debate him might give him points in Scar’s book I think. him brushing Kae off as pathetic or weak bc #he disapproves of what Scar’s tryna do/how he carries himself; ends up getting earful startin w lISTEN HERE YOU LIL SHIT- #//And Scar’s just ‘OH. I see now-‘ Prolly why he keeps coming back hdhfb. bc he wants to debate Kav again

[ezraphobicsoup]

the car seat is headresting that’s for certain

#watching bake off and in my head it’s just vague twin fantasy #‘woah that’s a nice cake’ ‘cute thing don’t be a rude thing!!!!!!!!’ rauasasaaaaaaa #man i still have so much work to do but this is more fun #i want to like. gain the power of flight i think #i want to detach all my limbs and move them about and put them back together #and i don’t mean that in an unhappy way i should clarify im doing alright this evening #but like. i want to dance as if i did not have a human body and just explode everywhere and and and #hjhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i don’t think this is only csh i think it’s also cause concerts are slightly different to what i thought they were #turns out it’s actually more convenient but it’s different so it’s the end of the world etc #man i remember one time i was at choir and someone jokingly called me a tory for not liking change :( #i do like change in some respects!!!! but the plans are not the original plans what am i meant to do now #uh i’m just saying words here now huh #i dunno there’s a lot of thoughts in my head i can’t make sense of it all #i need to do my duolingo and homework and homework and homework #they’re stressed on bake off which isn’t helping i don’t think but still quite enjoyable #i need to find music teachers as soon as possible to ask questions i must not forget to do that !!! that is very important #(need to see if i can keep the baritone in school thursday -> friday next week i really hope i can #hm hm ok that’s enough of a tumblr post i need to have a shower and i’ll try and get to bed like what before one?? #no ok. half 12 half 12 that’s reasonable ok i’ll call it that #ezra’s real life rambles #ezra likes music #<- got a bit off topic but that’s the original post

[kimmkitsuragi]

look the thing is i usually dont really Care how other people enjoy characters. but i always get a little 😮??? whenever i see the "vampire daddy yessss he looks like a god" etc brand fans of astarion like wnsjsjdjdjfjfjfjf i look at him and go wow. he's such a pretty boy with his eye bags 🤩🤩🤩 and his wrinkles 😍😍😍 he has a weirdo vibe like he's acting really offputting which i find charming... he's supposed to be a deception master but he gives away his lies soooo easily?? and he doesnt really know how to hold a conversation when you push him far enough from his script?? he's also so endlessly silly like he's just a little stray cat 😌😌😌 but watch out!!! stray cat behavior is Really there like he will lash out and act like a huge bitch occasionally. again that's his charm!! he's such a bitch (im saying it lovingly). his face looks a little bit like the grinch doesn't it

#but still i dont really give af about other perceptions it just feels a little silly to see a vampire daddy in him 😭 #the eye bag comment is 100% genuine btw not sarcasm at all. he is pretty in a messy way. he's an old man. #anyway i dont know man im not really good with words rn there's just something so fun about him #but in a really messy way and that's the fun part. the 'bad' qualities are the fun part yk #him being so selfish and paranoid is the fun part #i should. leave and finish this thing. yet. lmao #im not even gonna tag this i will probably delete later 😭😭 im making a lot of messy delete later posts nowadays huh #actually keeping this nvm #bg3 #astarion

[ljussangen]

Our baby is so active! Squirming around so much, and so strong! Sometimes the movements reflect in my dreams and end up waking me up.

#graviditet #in my dream this morning i was somewhere in public looking for my man and the baby was moving around a lot #and this guy came up and started flirting with me but I just ignored it and sperged to him about #how much the baby was squirming and moving and how strong it was and how absolutely precious it is #still he kept flirting and I (from an outside perspective) kept thinking wow this guy is still going huh? lol #finally he got annoyed that I was focusing on my baby and replying to his flirts with stuff about my baby and he left #and then I found my man and the baby made a big movement that woke me up lol #in real life I would have said that I have a man and that I do not want him to flirt with me #but the sad part is that this happens lol... like i'm clearly not interested #i think you should tell people that you aren't interested and be clear with your words/desires but that doesn't even stop people sometimes.

[evildilf2]

Told the clinician at my therapy intake appointment that I’m trying to cure my OCD & cope with my empathy issues by adopting an egoist perspective

#all my little words #he was like man you think a lot huh LMAOO

[termagax]

cnc anon again, no worries about being "articulate" i got what you were putting down and largely agree. a couple posts pertaining to kink showed up on my dash and it got me thinking about the way tumblr always ends up turning sex into a moral thing. there's always a place for healthy criticism in any human experience but veering even slightly off the beaten path irt being Into Things on here is a 50/50 on whether or not you step into a bear trap and get a million tumblrinas crawling up your ass so they can scratch their purity police itch (note: i am not talking abt people rightfully being mad about genuinely bad things etc etc but i feel that goes without saying)

i think i disagree with the core concept of "purity police" esp on this website because i feel like its so often young people falling into a kneejerk disgust response or with genuinely good intentions in their beliefs + the desire to prevent harm. like i said i think there is a lot worth talking about when it comes to the intersection of sex and violence and how violent kink provides community that can so often foster and encourage bigotry yk? like sex isnt devoid of morality more than any other aspect of the human experience i just think the broad categories of This One = Bad Freak Shit and This One = Good Freak Shit is unhelpful.

#man you can barely tell i have ocd from the way i talk and behave huh. im so subtle about it. #i could keep going but i feel like im starting to waffle and basically use a lot of words to say nothing so.

[rainworld-enot]

Since you replied, I'll elaborate (jk, I was gonna do that anyways) enot's funky little trait is spawning those singularity eggs every cycle, so if enot was engineered by an iterator, it's obviously meant to be ascendy. but the egg doesn't actually permakill or ascend anyone, so it's a failure. But it does succeed in a different way. It warps reality! this is best showed in the dating sim thing, as every time the egg is used, or cracked, it causes some pretty weird reality-bending (in one case, just making a whole new universe) in the standard game it just acts like a regular singularity bomb, but you could also interpret that the weirdness of the Enot campaign is due to the egg's influence. Enot on their own is (mostly) like a regular slugcat. It's when they bring along the egg that things get all funky and, of course, the dating sim setting itself! you unlock it by ascending as Enot, which implies that rather than truly ascending, they ended up resetting the cycles in a new alternate universe or timeline, and the routes where they end up using the egg causes further weirdness... and most notably, Saint knows about this and has tried to break the cycles using it! it's implied it just resets the cycle instead, though. So, thanks to enot your au could technically be cannon! (Thx to bluenightold for putting this in my brain. And sorry that this is excessively long :( )

You're good with having it really long- I like reading people's rambles as a whole!

Void in general causes reality warping properties, we can see this in general with echos, singularity bombs, and karma flowers which all have void fluid in them from what we can see of the effects.

Even Rubicon has this odd effect of changing properties of things, and is probably closer to the void freaking the fuck out from Saint... Saint-ness. We can see the creatures with void in them as a whole tend to have a lot more energy and movement. given the destruction too it's likely that void has a stupid amount of energy but also highly corrosive by all means.

It's very interesting as a whole, given the fact this means there's an unnatural vs natural power sources issue within the game and likely has been in affect in the past given that the emergency power batteries (known as Rarefaction cells)! which act nearly exactly like singularity cells if destroyed via a leviathan if not a bit worse. probably a bit more of the aftershock (best word to use I suppose) is affected and twisted much worse to the point where artificer can not survive the aftershocks... but given it's literally warping everything with the amount of energy produced, it's like a much worse version of breaking the wind barrier in a way. Probably a very painful death given everything.

Saint is definitely fucked up! and I love it. it's very fun to imagine the relationship of em in my own hc and aus of these lil guys :)!!

#ooc #I FORGOT ABOUT THIS IN THE ASK BOX I APOLOGIZE SKAHJDHDS but!! #Enot is technically NOT canon at all but like... #I like Enot. Enot is fun <3 #I typically don't ramble as much because low energy + most of the time it's literal nonsense to others #also adhd is a hell and makes my brain full of words faster than it can process in a sensible way #I probably COULD say things about my thoughts on SOS but uhhh ummm hmmm hmmrrrghh I do not think... I should given something I'm doing #If you're not one of the 3 players you shouldn't worry about it... <3 #I don't think they all follow this blog anyways lmao but not taking chances. but vague words about it is enough to be said #literally my thoughts on rw's whole cycling thing is sooo fun tho. it's like when you disable a stupid ass system issue and eventually #have to deal with it again... every time. ... *looks to intel graphics on like my normal tablet...* #but yeah anyways literally everyone ever is allowed to send me rambles and stuff I do enjoy reading others people stuff a LOT #shout out to me wanting to kill... maybe even maim vegas a bit for making it a PAIN in my opinion as a whole when I animated that lil saint #thing that oddly blew up for what it was but that's on me and anyways it was a test animation as a whole but man.. that's on me a bit huh. #Enot takes place between Arti and Hunter #I should state that!!! I feel like it's a bit weird to bring it up but like... it's a fun fact imo.

[applebunch]

still baffled by this. michael............. why wouldn't she know that her older brother liked beets? why wouldn't she know that? she's known him her entire life. why didn't YOU know that? you've been his best friend for 12 years, and you've lived with him for half a year. surely, you should've long since noticed the high beet count.

#i yell into the abyss #greater boston #grater bluecheese #*leon stamatis the entire time michael lived at his house voice* beetroot? you want fucking beetroot? #*michael tate voice* huh? what was the first and last word that came out of your mouth? #how do you only notice the unusual amount of beets leon was welcoming into your life only AFTER he dies and you read his meal planner #shouldn't you have noticed it when he was. like. feeding you them? bi-weekly? for half a year? #when he was buying them from the store? when he put them on your plate? when you ate them with your mouth?????? #“man. this is a lot of beets” <- what michael SHOULD have said TWO MONTHS after he moved into leon's apartment #and leon puts BEETS on his PLATE aGAIN #anyway: huh? beets twice a week is not that weird. that's like fine and normal. #it's funny to pretend it's not but like............. it's important to eat your veggies regularly. and there are so many to choose from #so you pick a handful of veggies that you like and buy those regularly rather than having like 20 different kinds a month #leon just picked beets for one of them. i'm sure he had a perfectly reasonable and measured assortment of vegetables otherwise. #it is not a lot of beets. it is a mediocre amount of beets. #the beet count is moderate. most people eat less beets on a regular basis‚ sure‚ but for people who have it as a regular part of their diet #it's like. #normal. #come on. #michael tate #*michael tate voice* wait so you're telling me those were BEETS? huh. thought they were like. radishes or something. #normal to have THOSE twice a week #beets though? nonononono. very unusual. notable‚ even. #*nica stamatis voice* i agree. beets are weird. leon's weird.

[datastate]

just started on that kai & sara ask and now i’m indescribably sad

#i won't finish it tonight but... man... #jestersvaguely #like. man. yeah part of the intrigue is just how complicated it is on both kai and sara's parts #kai with this unending devotion to the family & specifically feeling indebted toward her parents; sara's understandable trauma... #but there are a lot of theoreticals i entertain as well and.. ah... #now is not the time to really dig into all of that huh. i can't quite word. any of my thoughts #it's just. a tragedy. especially with what is shown to be the potential of their dynamic in yts & sketches... #the first two fondness events with that teasing attitude & encouragement... #the sketches where she literally. runs to his side when he collapses [after fighting hiyori] and is visibly worried... #grips the desk. i'm fine. #i'll finish this later...

[hzrnvm]

the results of my first, only, and last spotify wrapped. im pretty proud of it :3

#at first i was surprised will wood was only on there a few times #but then i realized that like. i discovered him in‚ what‚ March? April? #and then it took up till a few months ago til i got to the point where every one of the songs in the 4 albums (and some out) in my playlist #meanwhile i've been listening to lemon demon very much a lot since like. December #which is why lemon demon influenced everything but ww's only influence was from that day where I only listened to Hand me my shovel #it's kinda ironic (or poetic or wwhatevver the right word is). #wrapped is the very reason i started using spotify in the first place. and now i stopped as soon as i got my first one #like yeah man. ig the vlc‚ mouth albums‚ and tsb beat fomo huh? #WW'd probably be on here more if i listened at all in the past month now that i think of it. it's been quite the month.

[astrxealis]

i will continue gbf msq (rambles in tags) ^___^

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #⋯ ꒰ა gbf ໒꒱ *·˚ #the voice acting for itoris man... :(( #RCKAM ily WAIT OH MY FUCKING GOD RIGHT THE EYE THE EYE. SO IT IS ALL COMING BACK i am very happy #YOOOOO WHAT MARTIAL LAW ?? as a filipino i hate that word LMFAO MARTIAL LAW....... #the music !! the music !! it isn't super extravagant or anything i'm just a nerd it is SO pretty #ah right so yeah. like said b4 it starts w the islands and then the goal is istavion. oh wow alliah is so pretty (<- random thought) #djeeta i am so gay for you. which is really funny considering you're kinda me while i'm playing this game. but also yes #oh... rackam is still... :(( #oh this still makes me sad (you see i have a weakness for this kinda thing) #this makes me think things. the burden of the king. hmm silence #octavia you just appeared out of nowhere. she does this a lot it is so funny #uh. loki. OH THE SHIP I SEE ....... i was so shocked seeing him out of nowhere again LMFAOOO #hmmm interesting. yeah. contradictions and discrepancies and BTW i love how the storytelling is in the new story quests!! #purposely confusing and there's not much like uhh connecting like. all of a sudden theres new changes and i think that fits well #with the narrative. idk if i'm even saying this right but yeah i really like it even if it can be kinda confusing at first #mikaboshi and shitori sgebjhabjhbhjbehg........ hm? what's she talking about. mika is so cute :( returnign remembrance WOW #hmm last bit now. harsh reality part 1 aka chapter 163 #oh no oh shit. oh nvm okay this is just the king's eye PHEW i #huh. this is not what i recall hmmmmmmm #this is like one of the other worlds then or something ?? hm. hmm #oh... blue liberation front....... oh my GOD. god. god. #this reminds me of xiv/fe a bit ?? ifykim. shitori :(( #oh no. i had a feeling this would happem. n. NO WAIT WHAT KATALINA. ik theyre okay in another uh. world ?? #but no this makes me so :(( whbgajehbgjh i do not like this !! lyriaagehjbjhebjhbjhbehbjhgagh man #this edgedweller isn't a good guy isn't he. is he also one of them in disguise or #'the holy seat of genesis' very cool name love that fr <3 NO. NO. LYRIA. wHBGHABHJG. also where the fuck is vyrn and mika #ah. ah. djeeta. lyria. ah. look ik theyre okay in that other uhh world but this one. this is.eghabjhghahbejhbjhg :(((((( #ahh i see. it all makes sense now (and reminds me of xiv so i really like this a lot LMFAOOO) <3 sorry for vague xiv spoilers btw uh ya #okay uhm this is the 30th tag. bye!