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staarboyyy · 7 months

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Drowning

amanda young x reader | no pronouns

18+ scenarios / characters - minors dni

tags / warnings ; unhealthy dynamics, descriptions of violence, s/h mentions slight stockholm syndrome, menetions of kidnapping, fluff, no smut

summary ; strangely soft moments and recalling memories of being taken in by amanda and john

word count ; 871

a/n ; a shorter soft fic of one of my favorite characters of all time aka bowie being a useless lesbian

“Bad day?”

Amanda dropped the heavy duffle bag in her left hand with a hard thud to the ground. It was wordless how her eyes lulled towards you, cheeks pink and still streaked with smeared makeup; It didn’t need to be confirmed as she pulled her boots off, kicking them off by your door before treading towards the bed. You sat up, the chain shackles around your wrists gently clattering as you stretched your arms out slightly toward her. Amanda had taken to chaining you to the bed during the night while she was out, despite having been in the workshop for just under a year. You'd grown used to it, the bruises on your wrists fading as the shackles loosened over time, trust slowly trickling from Amanda to you in slow waves.

“Did something happen?”

Amanda stayed quiet as she crawled into the large bed, mumbling softly and shaking her head. She hated times like this, where she bared her vulnerability to those she didn’t deem deserving enough to see it, yet when your hands crept towards her, the tears stung her bottom lashes. Your fingers wove into hers, swimming through the cotton sheets, cold meeting warm as silence reached you both. You pursed your lips, eyebrows furrowing slightly as you moved to lean against the backboard, arm now stretching out to wrap over her shoulder, pulling her slightly closer. The bedroom wasn’t stuffy like the rest of the rooms in the workshop, it was quiet, cleaner than most of the others, and even had a small television that only took VHS. Of course, Amanda would have it no other way, but every now and again, she’d bring some old tapes home for them to watch - You hadn’t seen most of them in some time, Amanda was a classic Disney junkie, and despite the situation, it was - Nice? Atleast something close to it. She nestled her face in your chest, taking slow, trembling breaths as you peered down at her with a quirked brow.

“‘Manda,”

Only a quiet whimper came in response, her fingers curling around the fabric of your hoodie, hiding her face in her messy hair. She had given you the hoodie when you first arrived, back when she kept you under wraps day and night; It softened as time passed, being washed at Amanda’s house and brought back for you in the morning, smelling like fresh laundry and her subtle perfume. You rested his chin on her head, leaning a bit forward so you could take in slow breaths of the smell of her shampoo.

“I’ve been doing so good, and I just,”

Amanda’s voice was quiet, uncharacteristically meek, fingers tightening on the hoodie and pulling ever so slightly to bring you closer. You obliged naturally as if she hadn’t been the one to take you from your family, use you as a vessel for Jigsaw’s sick message. You held her in your chained arms as if it was the easiest thing in the world, listening to her quiet rambles, keeping her hitched breaths at bay. Your fingers strung through her hair, the smell becoming a strange comfort for you, familiar - Dare you say safe?

A few months ago, someone had tried to hunt you down; Amanda didn’t care for the details. Seeing you on the ground with a smear of a person on top of you had been enough for her to see red, her heartbeat thumping violently in her ears, propelling her forward to swing whatever weapon was closest. It was a metal pipe that slammed hard into the attacker's skull before it fell to the ground. She had never let go of a weapon so quickly, only to fall to her knees and cradle you gently on the floor - She took care of you while you recovered, bandaging your bruises and sterilizing your scratches. For days at a time, she forgot to chain you up, the pair of you falling asleep due to pure exhaustion with one arm around the other, an old movie’s credits rolling on the television. She’d protected you with a biting vengeance, a fierce amount of vindication, curling herself over you like a rabid animal if anyone dared approach you in a violent manner; And now she shaped herself to your frame amongst the sheets, trying to wrestle her jeans off with the intention of getting comfortable in some shape or form - You never commented on her scars, none of them. Once, she had fallen asleep beside you during Bambi, your cold fingertips tracing over the faded marks on her thighs as you watched the movie. When she stirred, you went to pull your wrist back quickly, but she caught your hand, returning it in place. Ever since, you always rested your hand on wherever she allowed it, touching her face, thumb caressing over her wrists - It started small, the rousing butterflies when her dark eyes flitted towards yours with a not-so-well-hidden smile, the way you could feel your cheeks heat up when she worked on her traps in a tank top and boyshorts. It came slowly, slowly, then all at once, in a heaping wave. Though you found solace in drowning if it meant you’d be shackled to Amanda.

#bowies fics #amanda young #Amanda young x reader #amanda young x you #amanda young x oc #amanda saw #saw amanda #saw franchise #saw x #oneshot #comfort fic #tw kidnapping #tw dubcon

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teeth--thief · 1 month

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Photos of Lyonyd (Leonid?…) Toptunov? I wouldn’t mind rambling on him, also.

- Rodka

I deliberately saved this ask for last (sort of). As a treat for myself and as a threat for everyone else ♡ And for @ur-favorite-basil-enthusiast since he was also interested in seeing The Collection.

I'll have to split this into a few parts - dreaful, I know! - because I can only add 10 pictures to one post while on mobile =( I'll keep reblogging with additional pictures till I run out of things to share. Subscribe for more insane content in the future and don't forget to click that bell icon to...

Part 1

He had manifested to me in a dream when I first started researching Chernobyl, have I ever mentioned that? Well, he has. Which was truly an anomaly because I almost never have any dreams at all... but about that some other time, perhaps.

I am going to put the pictures of him under the cut so nobody gets jumpscared by my Collection of Five Billion White Guy Pictures. And I'll also include some relevant information! Or as relevant as I can make it, at least.

Just to be clear (and safe): I found all of these out in the wild, on da internet. I am, however, pretty sure that at least the collage of his pics from uni times is from @/toptunovleonid on Instagram. So, just to be very clear: all credit for at least that goes to her.

Semi-chronologically, his pictures go like this:

Ignoring that one picture that is barely visible and out of frame in a few pictures of the photo album it's in, because he looks about 10 there and I feel slightly weird about sharing it specifically.

We're in... Tallinn, middle school number 11!

Second boy from the left in the second picture is him. That is he. He who was 15 then. And a 16 year old Lyonya in the left picture, of course.

From this time, one of his classmates remembers him as follows: At school he was quiet, unnoticeable, very shy. I remember he was always hanging out with younger kids. He was chubby. They'd now say he was a "nerd". Alright, we get it, he was a sweet child... Teen? Both? Or was he like this all his life? Either way, please stop before I die from all that sugar...

He's (10th grade) the guy leading the little girl (1st grade). His shapeless hair has charmed me. What's his hair routine and will it work on my curls? Mhm, didn't think so. And first in the second row from the bottom in the small pictures, in case you can't recognise his face yet.

As a bonus - his school certificate from the school in Tallinn he attended until graduating in 1977:

The grades were from 2 (you didn't pass with that one, so that's an F) to 5 (an A, I suppose?). So as you can see, he certainly studied well. What a nerd (affectionately).

Uni territory now! Moscow calling 📞 or, rather, Obninsk and the MEPhI

If you weren't born in any of the USSR countries during The Soviet Times, it'll come as a surprise to you but the students had mandatory... field... work... classes...? if you can call them that. They had them digging potatoes and what not. Nothing screams socialist spirit like making uni students do free labour in the field, I guess?

Pictures with his uni girlfriend, how cuuute! (And Sasha Korol hanging from the roof in the background... for reasons unknown)

Lyonya pretending to drive a combine harvester. And next to him, obviously, Sasha Korol. When I first saw this picture, I thought he was on some kind of a scaffolding but alas - it's one of those old beasts, like our Bizon. But that's not a Bizon because those had roofs. Nobody here cares for USSR combines talk - not even me - let's move on.

Not too sure when these two are from but they look uni enough to me - probably from the very beginning and sometime closer to the end, judging by his stache doing significantly better...

Mandatory military service because a REAL MAN in the USSR needed to know how to shoot a gun, obviously. Even when that meant military service interrupted your uni for a short while. I say that as if no other countries before or after had mandatory army time... don't question it, I'm doing a bit.

Lyonya is second in top row in the picture on the left and third from the left in the top row in the other pic. Korol is there, too, he's fourth from the left in the top row in the first picture and second from the right in the bottom row in the other picture.

#I'll leave my particularly unhinged comments for later pictures. just you wait. wait and quiver in fear #leonid toptunov #file: special interest: chernobyl #chernobyl #file: ask!#asker: rodka

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mandapandaaaa · 1 year

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this image is the single best picture taken at the met gala, ever

#met gala #manda rambles #i'll allow myself one “he served”

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amandaoftherosemire · 5 months

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James Somerton sucks, obv, but one plus is that Hbomb's video highlighted the phenomenal queer creators from whom Somerton stole. I'm already in love with Shanspeare, Khadija Mbowe, Alexander Avila, Kaz Rowe. These are just the creators that appeal to me personally, but YouTube never even told me they existed. I doubt I'm the only one and I really hope the creators that were ripped off are seeing a boost in their views and subscribers.

I mean, clearly I'm enjoying watching someone get their comeuppance in real time, but I'm also supposed to be working on being a better person and blah blah whatever, so I'm trying to focus on the high road part of this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So James Somerton can fuck off forever. But I think the really amazing part of the story is the part where Hbomb showed how we can work together and lift each other up instead of only competing and stealing and tearing each other down. It's nice to see it.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #hbomb #shanspeare #khadija mbowe #alexander avila #kaz rowe #youtube #queer solidarity #manda rambles

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mander-monster · 1 year

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#sometimes I listen to your music list #and wonder if I've just traumatized you into loving me #these songs really are pretty banging tho #drag me to hell - lord of the lost #manda rambles

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pupuseriazag · 2 months

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Me emputa tener que enfrentarme contra los githyanki "posicion de parada" PARADA DE QUE CEROTE PARADA DE BUS PARADA LA MIA DEJA DE INVENTARTE PENDEJADAS PARA HACER QUE MI EQUIPO FALLE ATAQUES DEJA TRANQUILO A MI TAV POR LA GRAN PUTAAAAAAAAAAAA

#zagreus rambling #perdon es que me emputan con sus buffs todos locos #“bueno Zag y a vos quien te manda a irte a meter a pelear contra los githyanki” EL LOOT CABRON TIENEN BUEN LOOT #Y tambien por avanzar la historia de mi comadre la Lae'Zel

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pierswife · 7 months

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*kicks down the door* TROPICAL STORM OPHELIA TIME BAYBEEEEEE

#/pos I fucking LOVE extreme weather #it won't hit my area as a trop storm tho :( but it'll be a tropical depression at least!#thank you tropical cyclone 16 for for getting your shit together <3 I can't wait to be a fucking idiot for the bit #feel super bad for the carolinas tho they're getting direct landfall #I mean we are too cause it'll be exiting back out to sea up here but gkwhiduw #they're getting the brunt of it #data log: personal #manda rambling about weather??? on this blog??? in 2023??? more likely than you think!

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jessicas-pi · 1 year

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After several polls of coming in second or third or fourth or whateverth place, Bo-Katan's Obitine Flashbacks finally won!

Bo-Katan doesn’t know specifics, but she does know it hasn’t been more than a month.

She lowers her voice. “I’m sorry for your loss, Wren. I know you and the Jedi were… close…”

And Sabine Wren drops her face into her arms, bursting into tears and then apologizing through her hysterical sobs, which tells Bo-Katan exactly how close they were.

Bo-Katan is hit with a feeling of deja vu, like she’s done this before.

Wait.

No.

She has.

Ha ha. Fun.

This is just exactly what she needed right now, another woman brokenhearted over a Jedi.

And she thought the time with her sister had been awkward.

Wren is still rambling, half-incoherently as she rubs her eyes and tries to pull herself together, a mix of excuses and explanations and aching, soul-deep pain.

She says enough to give Bo-Katan another realization.

Unless Bo has entirely misheard—not only did Wren have feelings for the Jedi boy—not only did the Jedi boy have feelings for Wren in return—not only did they confess to each other—they also said the vows, which is, Bo is pretty sure, farther than Satine ever got with her Jedi, and then the thought of Satine and Kenobi gives Bo-Katan the most horrifying notion yet.

“Oh, my gods, are you pregnant?”

Sabine sits up, eyes huge, mouth hanging open in speechless bewilderment.

“Am I… no!”

Her answer is entirely sincere, and Bo-Katan slumps in relief.

Manda be praised. We don’t need more Korkies.

#bo katan is crying with relief on the inside #but bo. you have entirely forgotten to account for adoption.#this is a MANDALORIAN we're talking about sabine is perfectly capable of acquiring a force sensitive gremlin baby on her own #needless to say in the years that they are apart sabine and ezra both acquire children #and tell their kids stories about their respective missing parents and have very fairy tale wait for true love vibes #no that telling stories thing is not at all inspired by the bridge of long live by taylor swift why on EARTH would you think that #(but seriously Long Live has MAJOR rebels vibes)#anyway i got off topic. Where was I?#oh yeah.#accidental child acquisition.#it happens.#that's the point i was making #children are acquired.#accidentally.#(one of the accidentally acquired children may in fact possibly be The Legendary Pink Haired Gremlinchild Rune)#i just really like the word acquire. ok. it is a fun word to type #sabezra #the promises au

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shiroselia · 4 months

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Hello can y'all tell I have a new favourite FEH OC after finishing book VI

#Ash Fire Emblem Heroes The Girlie That You Are <3 #Mandas incoherent gacha ramblings

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strwbrrybxn · 3 months

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I’ve been trying to find someone who at least acknowledges my boi Neji😭 finally found someone. I’m dying for anything Neji, literally anything. A crumb. A little crumb plz. I beg. I saw that ur friends w Donna and Biscuit lol and Manda refuses to write for him *sigh* but I’ve seen ur work and it’s so good like I’m on my hands and knees for u anyways sorry for rambling lolz anything u write for Neji I will eat it up coMPLETELY -🍒

I'm back and I'm so sorry this took so long, but I hope you enjoy this one. lowkey broke my own heart writing this

Temporary ; word count 2040— Neji Hyuga × female reader

✓ prompt: “Everything is temporary. This was merely one of those things.”

✓ pairing: neji hyuga × fem!reader [neji aged up to 23]

✓ warnings:

✓ genre: nsfw, angst

✓ au: isekai, modern times

a/n: **italics — spoken in english

“Neji~”** you hummed, turning to look at the long hair falling into his eyes as he tried to assemble your coffee table. Little did you know, this is one of the last times you’d get to see his smile.

It had been a few years since Neji had come from a different world; since he sat there bleeding out on the pavement in the late hours of the night. You had just ended a late night shift at the veterinarian’s office when you heard groaning in the alley. It was dark, and even though you had always run in the opposite direction of a dark alley, your instincts told you to go.

Using the flashlight on your phone, you followed the sound of someone groaning; a low, guttural and wet groan. He was lying there, long brown hair sprawled on the pavement. A green vest covered in blood draped his body and he had four large holes pierced through his torso.

You didn’t even hesitate, calling the emergency number for an ambulance as you pulled off your coat and covered his chest. You tried to get him to talk, but his eyes were faded and unfocused. His head turned slightly towards you and his mouth opened, but no words came out, just blood dripping down his chin. You didn’t think he was going to make it; in fact, you were sure of it. You had seen too many patients with eyes like that who had said their goodbyes already.

You don’t know why, but you had gotten into the ambulance with him, and every time they moved his head to get him to focus, he would face it back towards you. You had seen this, too, when you had patients who didn’t have anyone else — whose body would turn to the only person they could seek warmth from.

Neji wanted to talk - he had tried to open his mouth earlier but you said something in a language he didn’t understand, but you said it so nicely, and so sweetly, that he didn’t even try to push it. He wanted to talk to you, talk to the doctors, ask them how he could go back home, but no words would come out. His eyes searched for you in the white room, but you weren’t there. He wanted to call someone, but he didn’t know if anyone would even understand him.

The door swung open, much different from the Konoha hospital with doors that slid gently. You walked in with a bouquet of flowers taller than your head. You could barely see around them and when you finally did, you smiled at the man who had finally woken up. He had very pretty eyes, lilac and despite being on the brink of death, he looked beautiful.

“How are you feeling?” you had said, but Neji could only tilt his head to the side. He had no idea what you were saying.

“What?” All your anime watching finally paid off when you heard him speak. You didn’t speak a lick of japanese, barely understood it, but at least you were able to distinguish what language he spoke. Your phone slipped from your pocket and you typed your question, the AI voice speaking to him in japanese.

This is how the two of you communicated every night after your shift until he was able to pick up on some english words and sentences. It didn’t take him long, he was a smart guy, and it had taken you a few months to pick up on his mother tongue, oftentimes speaking to him in japanese while he answered in english. The two of you no longer needed the support of the artificial voice on your phone and communication was much easier, despite his thick accent.

He never liked to talk to you about the village he had grown up in, or the world he had arrived from. Not at first, but as time went on, Neji opened up about what had happened all those months ago.

“I was protecting Lady Hinata,” he had whispered one night after the two of you had finished a movie. Your body was curled into yourself on the other side of the couch, eyes looking over at the other. “She was protecting Naruto, and I had decided to protect them.” his fingers reach up and touch the green mark on his forehead, a sad smile on his face. “I had made peace with dying; I said my goodbyes and the next thing I know, you’re staring down at me with big eyes. I don’t know how I got here,” he leaned back against the cushions of the couch, turning his head to you, “but I’m glad I did.”

Your stomach flipped, as it usually did when Neji was around lately, but with the way he was looking at you, speaking to you, right in this moment, you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning across the couch. His eyes were still lidded as he watched you move. You leaned back, sitting on your heels. Your head tilted to the side as he continued to look at you.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you mumbled.

“Like what?” He was sitting up now, eyes still at the same as when he was leaning back, but now he was facing you completely.

“Like that.” Neji lifted his hand, his head jumbled with what to do. He had wanted to kiss you for months. Every time your hands lingered together for a second longer, or when you were teaching him how to make your favorite italian dish and he was breathing in your scent for so long, he almost got lightheaded, or when you were sat across your shared couch with your hair up in a bun and a ratty old hoodie on, just as you were tonight.

Were you leaning in? Was he? He had never kissed someone before. What if you thought he was bad at it?

His mind was pulled from the thoughts as your fingers stroked his chin, just as you had done so many times before. And just like all those times, he felt a shiver run down his spine at the touch of your fingers.

“What are you thinking about? You got quiet all of a sudden.”

“I wanna kiss you so bad,” he whispered.

“What are you waiting for then?” you hummed. He didn’t think of anything else, didn’t let his thoughts of not being a good enough kisser stop him from pressing his lips to yours. Your fingers cupped his jaw softly, thumb brushing along his cheek bones as you took control of the kiss. He was clumsy — a little obvious he had never had practice in kissing, but nevertheless, you allowed him to follow your lead.

He didn’t know where to put his hands so they just stayed at his sides. It didn’t take long for him to move his lips with yours, molding them and the only time he stopped was when he needed to pull back for air.

Your fingers had slipped down to his shirt, fisting the collar lightly.

“Wow,” he whispered, his cheeks flushed as he avoided your eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh, kissing the green marking on his forehead. His fingers slipped under your shirt, tracing small patterns on your back as he whispered again. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

“And why didn’t you?”

“I’ve never kissed someone before. How am I supposed to know when they want to also kiss me?” He made a good point. Neji never had any formal experience in this department, and you had. It was just one of the many things you’d agree to gladly teach him about.

“Neji~” you hummed, shutting the door behind you and stopping with a confused head tilt to look at the long hair falling into his eyes as he tried to assemble your coffee table.

Pushing his long hair from his face, he smiled, bright and wide as he always had when you came home from work.

“Tada!” He stood, showing off the new coffee table he had bought after the two of you had broken the other one. How? That’s a secret.

“What’s this?” It was beautiful. A lift top with two drawers at the bottom and storage under the lift top. It was the exact one you had been looking at when the two of you went furniture shopping a few months ago.

“We needed a new one after,” his cheeks flushed, the blush running from the apples of his cheeks to the tips of his ears. “well, you know.”

You squealed lightly, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. He couldn’t help but smile, his arm hooking around your waist and tilting his head to begin to deepen the kiss, but you pulled back, a mischievous smile on your lips.

“You just built this, baby. We can’t break it yet.”

You flustered him beyond belief and he didn’t know how to react most of the time, but the pang in his chest is not the way he usually reacts to you. His eyebrows furrowed and his arm loosened around you.

“Neji? I was just kidding-”

“I know.” His eyes softened as he cupped your cheek, thumb brushing along the apple under your eye. “I just got a weird feeling in my chest.”

It wasn’t just in his chest. The scars on his torso were burning, and he couldn’t figure out why. He had started feeling this way earlier in the day, so he went out to cool down, hoping the chilled autumn air would clear his mind. When he came by, he occupied himself by building the coffee table, but now it was back, and intensifying the more he looked at you.

“Hey.” Your fingers cupped his cheeks, forcing him to focus on you. The pain subsided as he leaned into your touch. “Let’s go out for dinner tonight, yeah? As a way to celebrate!”

Neji’s smile brightened his whole face and he leaned forward, kissing you once more. “That’s a wonderful idea.”

You were passing by the alley, hand in hand towards the restaurant when something caught Neji’s eye. It was shining, the smell of autumn filling his nose. Autumn in Konoha.

“Neji?”

“I think I can hear something over there.” He carefully pulled you towards the place where you met him for the first time.

She stood there with the same eyes as Neji, her hand in a blonde’s. Hinata and Naruto looked almost exactly like they did in the anime, except taller. Neji was the same. Both men stood at about six foot, towering over both you and Hinata.

You could feel your heart tighten. You and Neji had talked about this before; if he could ever find a way home, he’d go. He missed his friends and you promised to let him, but that was before you fell in love with him.

You’re reluctant to let him go, and when he started to pull, you could feel your fingers tightening.

“I have to go,” he said, his hand loosening.

“Right now?” You could barely swallow the lump in your throat, tears threatening to spill. If you had known there was a real way for him to go home, you wouldn’t have made that promise.

“My home is there.”

“But I’m here.” your words slurred as you tried to keep your eyes on Neji. He looked back at his friends, tugging once more and your fingers let go. “C..can’t we talk about this?”

“I don’t know when I’ll get this chance again.” From where you stood, it looked as if he had made up his mind, his eyes softening as he said, “Everything is temporary. This was merely one of those things.”

You wanted to throw up.

How could he say something like that? When you guys had spent almost every day together for four years. When you guys decided to become more than friends. How could he just simply step away from you, and through the door Naruto was holding open? He didn’t even look back, leaving you to your own devices in the same place he stepped into your life.

taglist: @hashira-mal, @justmyownreality, @sixtymillionoverdueideas, @dahlias-love, @penguinmilo, @delirious-donna, @stilestotherescue, @anxiouslittlesunbeam, @dreamcastgirl99, @usagiii3

#neji #neji hyuga #neji x reader #‎‧₊˚✧ally writes✧˚₊#‎‧₊˚✧ally's navi✧˚₊#‎‧₊˚✧ally's motivation event✧˚₊#super late #im so sorry #naruto navi

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