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obeiii-mee · 3 years

Note

Hey! I have a really loud and particular laugh that seems to carry quite literally throughout my house and there have been many times people have bought it up with me (I can’t help it my laugh is just loud & contagious!!). Could I request the bros reaction to MC who quite literally is unable to laugh quietly and ends up being heard through the whole of the house? Thank you!🥰

This is so sweet, geez imma get cavities. I also have a very loud laugh and I startle people a lot when I start laughing so I get what you mean!

These HCs are probably written a lot better because suddenly I’m full energy and motivation-

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The Brothers with an MC who has a loud and particular laugh:

Lucifer:

-He’ll never admit it but whenever you start laughing or even smiling, he can’t really stop himself from doing it too

-Like, he looks at you as you start cackling about a funny meme Levi just showed you and he’s holding back a smile-

-Because, even though you have such a loud and some would say ‘obnoxious’ laugh, he thinks you just sound so precious

-He really struggles to show that he’s not affected by you as much as he actually is

-Even if you start laughing at an inappropriate time, he’d likely not even tell you off properly

- Would never say anything of the sort to your face, but he low-key admires you

-He thinks it’s amazing that a simple human like you that has experienced so many horrible things every since they arrived in literal hell, can have the ability to laugh so heartily even now

-If you’re in public and start doing your boisterous laugh, he will keep a stoic expression on his face

-There’s a hint of a blush on his cheeks if you look close enough, though I doubt anyone is crazy enough to point it out

-In private though? Appreciate these moments y’all, because it’s one of the few rare times you’ll see him laugh freely

-Even when he’s around his brothers and trying to keep a straight face, you can see his lips threatening to curve upwards

-Basically, he thinks you’re baby and your laugh makes him feel at ease

Mammon:

-I head canon that he also has a very particular laugh because he gives off those kind of vibes

-He probably doesn’t even notice how loud you are when you start wheezing

-Normally, he’d join in and start laughing with you as the rest of the brothers take out their sound blocking ear muffs for the third time that day

-You two are loud ok?

-Poor Lucifer who not only has insomnia and is a workaholic, he also has two idiots giggling to themselves in the middle of the night

-When I said Mammon is trying to get a laugh out of you any hour of the day

-I mean any hour

-He will wake you up to just hear your voice and then proceed to run out as you start yelling at him

-Even if he were to notice it, the worst reaction you’re gonna get out of him is a bit of teasing

-“Ya sound like you’re dyin’ over there human. You alright?”

-When in reality, he’s even more smitten with you because your laugh is just another one of your amazing qualities

-Mammon does the stupidest shit in front of you to make you and hear you laugh because it warms his heart

-Even if he wouldn’t admit it, to you or to himself

-The only time he ‘doesn’t like’ it when you laugh is if you’re poking fun at him with his brothers

-That gets him all huffy puffy and sad

-For a minute, before he’s thrown himself onto you again

-Greedy for money and greedy for affection of course

Levi:

-ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap

-“YOU SOUND JUST LIKE THE MAIN CHARACATER’S LOVE INTEREST FROM THIS NEW ANIME I’M WATCHING! IT’S CALLED: PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I’M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND BUT I’M ACTUALLY NOT, THOUGH WHOA THEY HAVE SUCH A PRETTY LAUGH!”

-Catch him rambling about it for five minutes straight

-Before stopping abruptly, flushing from head to toe and starting to stutter like he forgot how to speak

-This usually has you laughing again, in a more sympathetic and encouraging way and he just...dies

-He doesn’t like his laugh, at all

-He thinks it sounds really awkward and tense

-So he’s low-key jealous about your rather impulsive laugh because it’s so sweet??? And amazing and cute??? Just like you???

-But at the same time, it’s hard for him to be jealous of it when he loves it so much

-Why do you think he keeps coming to you whenever he finds funny memes or compilations online???

-“I don’t expect a normie like you to understand but look at this.”

-He gets a stupidly cute kick out of knowing that he is the one making you laugh

-I suggest trying not to laugh too much while he’s playing video games because your laugh distracts him so much

-And he will throw his headset at you

-Affectionately of course

Satan:

-He doesn’t give much of a reaction besides a quirked eyebrow and a quiet ‘Oh?’

-Sure, he doesn’t really like it when his brothers are being noisy either because they’re laughing too loudly or because they are fighting gladiator style outside his room

-But you’re the exception

-The only person in that household that could get away with interrupting his reading/work is you

-May come as a surprise to some, but sometimes Satan does get worried for you

-If he hasn’t seen you in a while he might start thinking that something is wrong

-But then he’d hear you laughing from downstairs and he’d smile and think “Eh they’re alright.”

-He thinks your laugh sounds so much more endearing than his own psychotic laugh 🥰🥰🥰

-Will throw one of his precious books at any of his brothers if they make fun of the way you laugh

-Basically, he has the biggest heart eyes for you but he’s too good at hiding it

-Laugh with him whenever something embarrassing happens to Lucifer and he will be so pleased and happy for the rest of the day

Asmo:

-“MC my dear, has anyone mentioned what a wonderfully charming laugh you have? And that says something coming from me.”

-Asmo also has a very noticeable laugh

-Not exactly loud but it could be considered obnoxious (to his brothers) and he giggles all the time when he’s very excited

-Having Asmodeous as your partner is basically the same thing as dating your best friend

-Despite being the Avatar of Lust, your relationship with him is super healthy and even he takes comfort in that

-You’d both be chuckling to yourselves in Majolish or something because this bïtch is hilarious if he wants to be

-“Oh my Lord Diavolo! MC, look! I found the perfect outfit for Mammon!!”

-And it’s a Disney princess dress the size of a fuckn toddler

-You guys laughed so hard you got kicked out >:(

-But you ended up buying that dress for Mammon anyway lmaoo

-Spending too much time with Asmo is similar to the whole “I’m trying to be quiet in class but me and my friend keep laughing every time we look at each other”

-The way both of you have to strain yourselves from full on cackling when Lucifer has a go at either of you 😌

-Except you seriously can’t laugh because you will be ✨murdered✨

-“What do you mEAN YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR LAUGH, YOUR LAUGH IS GORGEOUS! NOT AS GORGEOUS AS MINE OBVIOUSLY BUT IT EASILY COMES IN SECOND!”

-That’s the kind of hype he gives you all day every day

Beel:

-The first time he properly heard you laugh was when you started making puns and you were laughing like crazy at your own jokes (samesies)

-And he just loves seeing you this happy because he gets happy and then he doesn’t even want to eat anymore, he just wants to hug you

-“I like your laugh. Do it again for me?”

-Your heart went doki doki

-It’s common for Beel to make you all flustered without meaning to and then you nervously start laughing again because you feel so awkward

-BUT your face brightens up so much when you start laughing or even smiling and he can’t help himself from complimenting you

-Your joyous and loud chuckles always cheer him up

-To the point where he completely forgets how hungry he is

-Took you a while to figure this one out but his mood sort of changes with yours??

-If you’re visibly sadder than usual, he his morale is also surprisingly low and he starts eating more than usual

-In comparison to when you’re all bubbly and doing that beautiful laugh of yours and he gets like these butterflies in his stomach instead of the usual pangs of pain and hunger

-So now he just wants to hear your voice in general on repeat for the rest of eternity

-Im not crying you are

Belphie:

-“You’re too loud dumbass, I’m tryin’ to nap here.”

-Will deadass throw a pillow at your face if you wake him up

-Like hes so rude and for what?

-He loves you and your annoying as fuck laugh, he really does I promise

-It’s a special, unique part of you and all that sappy crap

-But keep it up and you will have a very cranky boyfriend to deal with for the rest of the month

-He can be such an ass at times if he’s in a bad mood

-“I should tape your mouth shut.”

-“Kinky-“

-“Shut up.”

-But as much as he hates being woken up by somebody else, he would much prefer waking up to your voice rather anyone else’s

-You usually wake him up in the mornings to get ready for RAD and you start giggling every time he pulls a face at you and complains that he doesn’t wanna

-“What are you? An alarm clock?”

-And then he just sort of pulls you to him and goes with a completely straight face:

-“You’re annoying but you can be my alarm clock if you want to.”

-He’s either flirting or is so sleepy he’s being unusually soft hELP

—————————-

Thank you for reading! And for all the reblogs and follows. You guys don’t even know how much I appreciate your support. Especially at times when I’m not as motivated to write and now that the fandom has fizzled out a bit.

Also imma have to make a master list soon or something

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me mc #🌸 comfort #⭐️ requests #☂️ demon brothers #💞 protective bois

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kenzieam · 4 years

Text

Beauty and the Blackheart - Chapter Four

@jewels2876 @moonbeambucky @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @iammarylastar@captstefanbrandt @badassbaker @pinknerdpanda

I know I’m forgetting people, sorry. If you want in, hit me.

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Rating: M

Warnings: Language, general nuttiness, smut, major angst

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We finally learn a little bit of Bucky’s tragic background.....

FEEDBACK IS LIFE, Y’ALL, LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE POSTING OR NOT

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Morning came too soon, and Lev found herself suffering from a dual hangover; both from the tequila and from Bucky’s actions.

What had he meant when he’d said he wished to God he’d done different?

Her head ached and her body throbbed yet the worst, or maybe best, part was she could still feel Bucky’s fingers, gently caressing her nape, the strength in his arms when she’d clung to him, mistaking him for Clint.

Goddammit, it had felt good, he had felt good, his touch settling something deep inside her that had been alone and restless for far too long.

Lev thrust her hands through her hair, then scrubbed her face with her hands. A quiet knock at the door made her raise her head.

“Yeah?”

Clint’s apologetic face appeared. “How are you feeling?”

“I need to leave, Clint. It’s no good if I stay.”

His lips turned down, eyes dropping to the floor, but Clint nodded. “Yeah, Bucky…. Bucky’s had some bad shit happen in the past, it’s… it’s probably best if you...” He trailed off, unwilling or unable to continue then seemed to perk up a tiny bit. “Will you wait until tomorrow to leave? I’d really like to spend one last night with you.”

Lev’s heart warmed at the thought, just Clint and her, brother and sister, spending some quiet time together; what she should have done from the start, rather than getting tangled in the tattoo shop and Bucky. “Of course. Want to order some pizza? Watch old ‘80s campy horror like we used to?”

Clint positively beamed. “Yeah, I’d love that.” He turned to leave then hesitated, looking back at Lev before turning to leave again, but still he didn’t move, shoulders slumping.

“Come here.” Lev called quietly, waiting until Clint sat silently on the edge of the bed, reaching over to take his hand. “I’m sorry. Whatever is messed up between Bucky and I, that’s on me. Everything was good until I got here. I don’t want to come between you guys, or make you choose between us. I was just visiting anyway, so now I’m leaving a little early, that’s all; it’s okay.”

Sorrow flashed briefly in Clint’s gaze but they both knew she was right. “It sucks.”

“Yeah, but you’ll just have to come and visit me then.”

“I will.” He met her eyes and nodded. “We always go too long between seeing each other, that’s going to change. I miss you, kid.”

Lev felt a pang in her chest and her voice caught as she whispered. “I miss you too, big brother.”

Clint swallowed, then cleared his throat aggressively. Big sappy displays were not his thing, and in truth, they weren’t Lev’s either. He stood, almost abruptly and swiped at his cheek. “See you tonight,” a thought seemed to hit him then and he hesitated before adding, “would you mind if Steve came over too? He’ll be upset to hear you’re leaving; he’ll want to say goodbye.”

“Of course, yeah. That’d be great.” Lev sighed, relieved that Clint had thought of it. It would save her having to go to the shop, maybe running into Bucky, to say goodbye to Steve herself.

Clint nodded, threw her a sad grin, then left.

Lev considered mooning around in bed for a while, wallowing in the disappointment of her current situation, then threw the covers back with a groan, forced her feet to touch the floor.

You win some, you lose some. She wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, she knew that, and she and Bucky just hadn’t clicked, there was no shame it that, only if she stubbornly refused to acknowledge it, continued to force herself into his space would it become wrong. Leaving was the best option for everyone.

Then why did it hurt?

If leaving was the right thing to do, then why had she found herself driving by the local hospital more than once, watching the comings and goings of staff and patients, imagined herself working there, part of the rush and crush?

No. It did no good to drown in the ‘what if’s and if only’s’. Her life was a three-and-a-half-hour plane trip away, not here.

She needed a shower and, while the hot water pounded her bare skin, she made herself not think about everything.

Later, Lev found herself in the backyard. There was a small pool that she’d shamefully underutilized, and tall fragrant trees blocking any nosy neighbours from spying. Sprawled on her stomach on the lounge chair, Lev surfed idly on her laptop, having already booked her flight home for tomorrow and now letting herself drift, catching up on friend’s Facebook pages, something she rarely had made time for in the past. A pang hit her as she read, seeing how everyone seemed to have a life, a family, children on the way. All Lev had, all she’d concerned herself with for years, had been her education, her upcoming career.

Had she wasted her life? In her one-track mind approach to everything, had she missed out on all the good stuff?

No, she decided firmly. She was still young, now that her education was out of the way, she could start really living, reaping the rewards that years of sacrifice and discipline had brought.

The sun was warm on her bare shoulders and Lev giggled at herself. She was even starting to tan, something she hadn’t done since junior high, when she’d flirted briefly with the track team to round out her academic record before quitting to take an extra chemistry class.

Pushing the laptop away, Lev rested her cheek on her crossed arms and closed her eyes. She imagined laying on one of the tattoo tables at the shop, getting her first real ink. Would Bucky’s fingers be as soft working on her tattoo as they’d been against her nape last night? Would his breath tickle her skin, the heat of his big body warm her? Would the same tingles she felt every time they’d accidentally brushed up against each other race through her as he drew on her virgin skin? She realized now what had always made her edgy around him, and she wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t experienced it herself, but there was a low-level charge between them, a humming energy that colored and heated the air around them, swirling and tangling and, for better or worse, binding them.

As she lay there, she imagined Bucky’s touch moving lower, trailing teasingly along her suddenly bare back to reach the curve of her ass and Lev shuddered, but not in a bad way.

Even when she’d avoided him at the shop, she’d still hungered for glances of him, quick snatches of his hands, large and veined and tattooed, gentle as he worked yet looking so strong and dangerous. He’d proven that last night, breaking that guy’s nose at the bar and literally wrenching her from her seat before brushing back her hair so carefully, enfolding her in his embrace so securely.

What would it feel like to have him inside her, to feel him grip her hips and drive himself home between her thighs? Lev was not a virgin but only barely, her tentative explorations with a classmate, almost clinical in their detachedness, had been more like studying than anything else and she’d not gotten off, not with any satisfaction anyway.

But it would be different with Bucky, Lev mused. He was experienced, he knew how to touch a woman, how to bring her pleasure. She’d covertly glanced at the sizeable bulge in his jeans more than once, felt her womb clench at the thought of feeling that push inside her. If he kissed her with half as much raw desire and want as she’d seen him suck face with some of those girls then she might ever come from that alone, convulsing in his arms when he hadn’t even really touched her yet.

And God, the thought of those long, dextrous fingers brushing at her folds made her shiver, toying with her clit, spreading her juices-

“Hey,” A deep voice called tentatively, and Lev startled out her daydream, nearly knocking the laptop off the chair above her. She shook her head, peering at the speaker and felt her face go beet-red.

Of course, of course it would have to be Bucky standing a few dozen feet away, looking like tattooed sin himself, probably able to smell her arousal in the air.

Lev scrambled to cover herself, cursing her impulsive decision to lose her pants and lounge in only her tank-top and panties, the blanket she’d brought out too far away to reach.

Goddammit, why had she decided to slut-it-up now?

Sensing her discomfort, Bucky strode forwards and grabbed the blanket, holding it out to her with averted eyes. Gratefully Lev took it, sitting cross-legged and wrapping the blanket around her.

Bucky studied her for a beat, just long enough to make Lev drop her gaze, then looked around. Walking towards the other lounge chair, he pulled it closer and sat with a sigh, scrubbing his hands on his jeans. Lev waited, not at all sure why the hell Bucky was here, and what he was going to say to her.

“I overheard your brother telling Steve… you’re leaving?” He bent over, clasped his hands together, forearms resting on his thighs and studied his fingers, not meeting her gaze.

“It’s for the best.” Lev mumbled. “You don’t like me, and I won’t come between my brother and his friends.”

“I never said I don’t like you.”

Lev snorted with derision, barely believing her ears. Really? He’d never said he didn’t like her? He didn’t need to, he’d shown that he hadn’t, every fucking day.

Bucky glanced up at her snort then dropped his head again, ears reddening as he correctly read her thoughts.

Lev waited, not trusting herself to speak again without flying off the handle and destroying whatever fragile tie brought Bucky here today looking so humbled and studied his form instead. She’d gazed at him time untold already, covertly but, with the reality of her leaving and probably never seeing him again, her eyes greedily devoured him now, committing him to memory for the inevitable dark times of regret ahead. Tattoos crawled his neck to his impossibly chiselled jawline visible even beneath his beard, the colors vibrant and lines strong, Clint’s best work. His left arm, apparently grievously broken some years ago and repaired with pins and screws, was covered in a full cyborg sleeve, right down to his hand. Steve was responsible for it and it blended seamlessly with his musculature, flowing with a startling realism when he moved. The other arm was covered in a full sleeve as well, but as a myriad of images tied together, entailing untold hours of work and resulting in an image that took hours and multiple viewings to fully capture and appreciate all the details, all the way down to calloused and scarred fingers, his touch startingly tender when he wanted, bone-crushing when he didn’t.

He looked like the last person someone like Lev would be attracted to yet, as she gazed at him, a yearning that took her breath away clawed around her heart; a small voice deep inside whispering a plaintive but implacable ‘mine’.

The full effect, of his massive frame, beard, long hair, heavily tattooed body, leather and denim attire and general ‘don’t fuck with me’ aura made him an intimidating presence but, right now, he was making himself vulnerable, showing a side to Lev that his outward appearance made it look like he didn’t have.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “Whatever chance I had…. I’ve fucking lost you now, haven’t I?” His voice cracked and Lev stared in shock at his bent head.

What? Where the hell was this coming from? When had he ever wanted a chance with her?

“I… I don’t understand, Bucky. I didn’t think you ever did.”

“I did.” His voice was so low Lev almost missed it. “God, I did, I do.”

A sudden rush hit Lev, a swell of conflicting emotions; confusion, curiosity, anger and, oddly enough, sympathy for the man in front of her. It would have been so much easier to stay away, wait the few short hours for Lev to leave forever and never think of her again and yet… he’d come to her, looking and sounding broken.

“Her name was Amelia.” Bucky said unexpectedly. “Everyone called her Ami. She was serious, driven, disciplined… she was like you.” He raised his head briefly before dropping it again. “We were night and day, but I loved her. Even back in high school… fuck, I loved her. She had all these plans, you know? This big fancy career, what she was going to do, when and where and I was going to be there with her. I mean, I was apprenticing with Steve, but you can do that anywhere, I could’ve gotten a job in a shop anywhere…. I just wanted to be with Ami, you know? I was happy with just that.”

His exhale was unsteady, and Lev tensed, a sick feeling building in her stomach as she connected the dots. There was no woman named Ami hanging around the shop, no ring on Bucky’s finger, just a steady stream of faceless women.

“I sold my Harley to buy her engagement ring.” He sighed heavily and Lev was shocked to feel the beginnings of tears prick her eyes. “I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me and…. She laughed. Laughed in my face.”

Lev felt a rush of rage at this woman, how cruel, how goddamn heartless, to laugh when someone is making themselves so vulnerable like that? Taking a chance and asking you to share your life with them?

“’Why?’ She asked,” Bucky spat, fists going white at the knuckles as he clenched them. “’Why would I marry someone like you?’” He swallowed hard. “She told me I was crazy, to think we’d ever had a future. She said I was a disappointment, I had no goals, no dreams or ambitions beyond being a loser, that only crooks and druggies became tattoo ‘artists’ and that I needed to get serious and grow up.”

A tear coursed down Lev’s cheek. Even at her most angry, her most hurt by Bucky’s treatment of her, she never would have gone so low as this Ami woman, especially with someone she’d supposedly loved, enough to give him the impression of a potential future between them.

“She left. I haven’t seen her since.” He took a deep breath, let it out with a heartbreaking resignation. “I stayed apprenticing because it was all I had. Steve, Nat, tattoos and eventually, your brother. And I’m not a loser, I have a business with my two best friends, a successful one and I’m content with that… but I haven’t let a woman close since her. I fuck and forget because it doesn’t hurt. I’m upfront with them because Ami wasn’t with me, there’s no illusions. And then you walked into my shop.” He looked up finally and the riot of emotions darkening his eyes made the thin remains of her restraint fail and the tears fell unheeded down her face.

“I thought I’d loved Ami but,” he shook his head. “It was nothing compared to what hit me when I saw you that first time, and… it scared the fuck out of me because it was happening again. I was falling for a woman with the same drive and desire to succeed as her. And I hated that, this… weakness of mine, to get caught in that again, like the first time never happened… and it pissed me off so bad and terrified me at the same time. I did all I could to keep you away, but I couldn’t help it sometimes…. sometimes I just had to be close to you, sometimes I couldn’t hide it anymore. I fought so hard to push you away because Ami broke me but… if I let myself love you and you did the same, it would kill me this time.”

Lev stared, horror and sorrow taking her breath away.

Wow.

Of all the things she expected to hear from Bucky, whatever explanations or excuses he might have offered to maybe justify his actions, she’d hadn’t imagined anything like this because, why would you? Who would ever think that another human being could be that cruel, especially to someone they’d given at least the impression of loving? If Ami hadn’t wanted to marry Bucky, fine; if she’d thought him unambitious, whatever, but she hadn’t needed to crush him like that.

What pain did he hide behind those supernatural eyes?

She was getting a good look at that pain now, coupled with a deep regret.

“I…” He began but trailed off. Fists clenching again he continued. “I just needed you to know that; it was never really about you, you’re-” his voice cracked again. “You’re going to make some lucky fuck really happy one day and this is all on me. What’s happened between us is my fuck-up, not yours. Never. yours.”

Without conscious intent Lev stood and moved to sit at Bucky’s side. She had no idea what she was doing, but his pain cleaved her in two. Bucky lifted his head, turning eyes dark with regret her way. Only a foot away, Lev could see the moisture gathering there, the tightness at the corners of his eyes as he fought back emotion; he exhaled, a long, low sound that wavered as his gaze dropped to her mouth.

Hunger joined the pain and he looked back up into her eyes, the power in his gaze gripping her in place, drawing her closer and their lids fluttered closed just as their lips touched, a tentative brushing before his hand reached up and cupped her jaw, curled around to cradle her head and hold her close as the kiss deepened, grew hard and passionate as floodgates long held close burst open. It was all teeth and tongues and desire and Lev couldn’t stop a moan against Bucky’s mouth, which he answered with a primal sound, low in his chest. Grabbing her waist Bucky pulled Lev to straddle his lap and she moved eagerly, tightening her thighs around his hips, inhaling sharply when he squeezed her leg, growling in barely leashed need.

She could feel him, hot and hard, pressing against her core, one large hand guiding her hip, grinding her against him then the other was rucking up under her shirt, cupping her breasts, thumb rasping over her nipples.

“Fuck, baby-” Bucky groaned against her mouth and he was all she could see, hear, smell, feel and taste, completely capturing and overwhelming her senses and Lev wanted nothing more in that moment than for Bucky to tear her clothes away and drive inside her, make her scream and writhe beneath him, feel him release inside her with a groan.

This is happening too fast.

“Wait-” Lev gasped, heart hammering.

Bucky pulled away only far enough to rest his forehead to hers and panted, chest heaving, eyes closed, and face twisted with pain.

“I-” He began, a heartbreaking crack in his voice then he stopped again, taking a deep breath. “You’re right.” His hand tightened on her hip for an instant before he gently pushed her off his lap, standing before Lev could find her voice to argue, to tell him what her brain was scrambling to form and communicate.

No, don’t go. Not like this, I just meant slow down.

“Bucky-”. Damn her panicking nerves, her flustered heart. Just say it. Spit it out before he got the idea that you didn’t want to continue, that you don’t hunger and ache for him the way he does for you.

If Bucky saw her struggle, if he understood it, he chose to ignore it.

“No, Lev.” He took a step back, fists clenching. “It’s better this way.” He hesitated, then turned to leave.

Lev watched him go, her breath clawing in her throat, torn between wanting to call out to him, and remaining silent. Tears pricked her eyes as she watched his wide, powerful frame, now slumped with regret, disappear through the gate and, when she heard the faint rumble of his bike from down the street, she let them fall.

Why hadn’t she called out to him?

Because.

This was the least painful way to part. He’d explained why he’d behaved the way he had, and while it didn’t change their past, at least it would help Lev lay it to rest. The kiss changed nothing, the fact that it was the most visceral experience of Lev’s life only showed how closeted and sheltered she was, nothing more, nothing as foolish as love or soulmates or passion.

But watching him go right now had hurt worse than anything else, worse than his most venomous, snapped retorts, his sullen silences and the long days without catching even a glimpse of him.

Something inside him called out to something inside her and made the snow globe inside her settle, let her soul take a deep breath. This had been hidden by Lev’s confusion and anxiety, Bucky’s bristling and shields; but he’d peeled a part of himself back last night, dropped the mask of anger long enough for Lev to see the damage beneath, and today he’d fully bared his heart to her, let her see all his grievous wounds. And rather than driving her away, it had cracked something kindred open in her. The load she carried; the balls Lev forever felt like she juggled weren’t so life-or-death; she didn’t feel like she was hanging on by her fingernails and needed to constantly move to stay afloat when he was near her and, while her brain hadn’t yet caught up to this, her heart had.

But it was too late now. The moment was over, he had left, and she was leaving tomorrow.

She needed to drop it.

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Lev yawned heavily, rubbing at her bleary eyes, not caring that she was most likely smudging her mascara. She hoped briefly that the Karen and her spawn would be on this flight, at least her strident complaints would help keep Lev awake.

After Clint got home, with Steve at his side they’d ordered pizza and sat down to watch gory, campy ‘80’s slasher movies and Lev had done her best to stay present but her brain refused to concentrate, Bucky and her pending departure forefront on her mind. The sorrow and misery on his face broke her heart and she’d hardly slept at all, tossing and turning, Bucky’s words, his gentle touch endlessly haunting her; she lost count of the times she reached for her phone, wanting to call him, but pulling back at the last moment.

Stopping at a coffee kiosk, Lev ordered a black eye and sipped it carefully, inhaling the comforting aroma. Due to her broken sleep, she’d left too early and consequently, had arrived at the airport too early as well and now wandered, pulling along her small carry-on and shouldering her backpack.

Clint had clients this morning and hadn’t been able to accompany her and for that, Lev was grateful. It was hard enough forcing herself to step onto a plane without her brother’s eyes on her as well. Their parting this morning, before Lev had gone out to meet the waiting taxi, had been full of unsaid words and choked back entreaties. More than once Lev caught Clint watching her with forlorn eyes, chewing on his bottom lip like he was fighting not to speak up and beg her to stay.

More than once on the way to the airport Lev opened her mouth to ask the driver to turn around, then closed it again.

Sometimes doing the right thing hurt, sometimes the correct path was the rockiest and Lev knew she would bleed for a long time over this, but it was the best thing to do.

Lev glanced up at a large clock on the wall of the terminal and sighed, they would be boarding soon. She pulled absently on the strap of her backpack and tried not to think about what she was leaving behind. The shop, the life, it had started to grow on her as she’d spent time among Clint and his friends, and she was genuinely sad to be parting from it all.

Especially Bucky. There had been something there, between them, right from the start and it hurt to leave without exploring their connection further, especially after that scorching kiss, but it was happening, she was here, she was leaving soon, and that was it.

She looked down the terminal, gaze trailing absently over the various people hurrying to their destinations, bumping into each other, throwing impatient glances at slower ones and was horrified to feel the prick of tears in her eyes as she acknowledged the fact that she was searching, waiting for Bucky to come running to her, to beg her to stay.

But there was no sign of him.

No. She wouldn’t cry. A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?

The intercom above buzzed, then Lev’s flight was being called to board and she turned, closing off her emotions.

***********************************************************************

Lev grimaced as she swallowed the mouthful of cold coffee, dropping the paper cup in the nearest garbage with a heavy exhale and a frown. When was the last time she’d had time to stop and pour herself a fresh one? Three hours? Four?

Tonight at the Emergency Department was especially chaotic and while Lev revelled in the crush and rush, in the never-ending movement that made it that much easier not to think about her life, it was draining. Ever since she’s arrived home three months ago and called up her mentor to accept his offered position, Lev had done her best to stay in motion, to stay busy and distracted and while she would be paying off the remainder of her student debts left over after all the scholarships she’d won far earlier than she’d anticipated, deep inside something was missing.

An ache had taken residence in her chest and refused to leave.

The worst part was she knew exactly what that ache was and how to cure it, but she couldn’t.

She’d left, and Bucky hadn’t come for her. He’d acknowledged, like her, that regardless of the pain, staying apart was better for both of them and there was no medication or treatment offered in Lev’s ER to combat that.

“Hey,” Kaylee, one of the trauma nurses and Lev’s few friends, bumped her shoulder gently as they both leaned on the unit’s main desk, conserving their energy for the next emergency. “You going to do it?”

Lev fought not to grimace, dropping her head to hide her expression. Kaylee had been trying for the last two weeks to pin Lev down for a blind date with one of her brother’s friends and while the little brunette sprite was persistent, so far Lev had managed to dodge her.

“I don’t know-”

“C’mon. You need to go out. Ever since you visited your brother you’ve been dragging your ass around!” Kaylee was never one to mince words and they’d formed a close friendship during Lev’s residency here, but sometimes the woman was insufferable.

“I have not been dragging my ass.” Lev hissed, trying to mask her irritation. She loved Kaylee and knew she was coming from a place of concern and friendship, but right now…. especially now, Lev didn’t want to hear it.

“He’s nice, tall, has a good job.” Kaylee continued, deciding to take a circuitous route to her point. “He’s really excited to meet you!”

Lev made a face. She’d had a chance at nice, tall and a good job before, and look where it had gotten her, although Bucky, in truth, hadn’t met the ‘nice’ part until just at the end.

“What’s his name again?” Lev stalled for time, furiously figuring out a way to escape.

“Stuart Pierson.”

Stuart. Levka and Stuart Pierson.

Not nearly the same ring as Levka and Bucky Barnes.

STOP IT.

“Kaylee, I can’t. I’ve got back to back shifts for the next week-”

“You know Trent wants them! He’ll take them off your hands!”

“And I’m still moving in-”

“Damn girl how long is that going to take? You bought a studio!”

“I’m just busy right now, okay?”

Kaylee fixed her with a Look, head tilted and hand on hip. “He’s not worth your time, Lev. Forget the gangbanger, okay?”

Lev winced, not for the first time regretting telling Kaylee about Bucky. She’d kept it general, not given his name or any real details about what had happened between them, and now Kaylee had this Hell’s Angels figure in her head, convinced that Lev had been ‘slumming’ it and the best thing to do would be to jump on the nearest WASP, namely Stuart Pierson.

But Bucky wasn’t a hood, and she hadn’t been slumming it. He’d been a decent guy that she’d gotten off on the wrong foot with and, rather than correct that, she’d left.

“Got a new one coming in.” Agnes, the old battle-axe unit clerk broke in. She’d been running the ER longer than anyone else and even the biggest asshole doctors respected and feared her. In truth, she was a secret sweetheart, as long as you provided covert homemade cookies and Starbucks every now and then.

“Got it.” Lev replied, instantly falling into her professional mentality. Although she was hella young compared to other doctors in the hospital, right now she and Dr. Abbott were the two most senior in the ER and he was sleeping in the lounge, an absolute bear to wake up.

Hurrying to the nearest sink, she quickly washed her hands then reached for supplies. Gown, goggles, booties; the ER could get messy rapidly and, as her heart began to beat faster in anticipation, Lev found her worries melting away. Later, after she’d stabilized the patient, after the adrenaline had worn off, it would be back, but Lev lived for this oblivion now.

Agnes called from the desk, relaying the EMT’s report and Lev listened carefully, forming a picture in her mind of what needed to be done.

“MVA, thirty-one year old male, t-boned at an intersection. Multiple breaks, possible internal bleed-” Agnes continued in a professional clip, reading off the man’s blood pressure, pulse ox, breathing rate and other pertinent information in short jargon indecipherable to the average listener.

“Morphine given on-route, but patient is combative-”

Interesting, most people wanted the pain gone, but others were confused and fighting everything, still tangled in the chaos of their accident.

“Multiple LOC in the field but awake now-”

Head injury? On top of internal damage. Lev would need to page the surgeon on call and get a neuro consult.

The sirens became louder and Kaylee joined her, gowned and ready, all grim attention and anticipation. Suddenly, the bus was there, backing up to the bay as the doors flew open. One EMT jumped out and pulled on the gurney, joined by ER staff to unload it.

Lev saw bare skin and blood, heard the EMT speaking but turned her focus on her new patient.

“Trauma One, let’s go!” An oxygen mask covered part of the man’s face and he was fully locked down in a body brace on the stretcher, standard procedure especially with a potential head injury. Lev got glimpses of denim and a torn t-shirt, but most of the man was obscured by swarming nurses and machines, bandages and tubes.

Grabbing her penlight, Lev leaned over the man’s face.

“I’m Dr. Barton, I’m here to help you. I just need to check your pupils, follow the light please. Can you tell me where it hurts?” The words fell from her mouth, well-rehearsed and practiced.

The man tried to speak but his voice was lost in the chaos. Lev peeled back an eyelid and shone her penlight, searching for his pupil’s reaction. First one, then the other, both equally reactive, good.

With a tearing sound, the remains of the man’s t-shirt were cut from his torso and Lev studied him clinically. Plenty of lacerations and contusions, to be expected, and a troubling shadow in the lower quadrant- Jesus the man was cut, and not just by glass, his musculature was incredible and there was something so familiar about the ink-

Oh Jesus.

“Bucky?!” Lev gasped.

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #au bucky #au bucky barnes #au bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky and lev #bucky x lev #au bucky romance #au bucky drama #au bucky smut #au bucky fanfic #tattoo bucky #au bucky angst

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pizzas-will-rule-the-world · 5 years

Note

Hi! I... love your writing so much? It makes me very happy asdfghjkls; 💕💕💕 Could I, um, request 19 for the prompts with Javid?

Thank you so much!!

Read on Archive of our own!

* * *

Title: Is this love?

Relationship: Javid

Genre: Fluff, so much fluff

Words: 1.2k

* * *

It was night, one of those warm summer nights when the day’s heat hadn’t yet disappeared entirely, despite the fact that the sun was setting. Jack and Davey both laid in bed, too tired from the day’s rushed schedule to keep up a conversation. Their day had been far too busy in Jack’s opinion - it was summer break after all, shouldn’t they relax? - filled with carrying boxes and sweating in the merciless sun while Mush and Blink ran around their new apartment like giddy children. The newly moved-in boyfriends had bought all of them pizza, as a thank you for the help with moving, so it could have been worse. And if Jack was honest with himself, the enthusiastic looks his friends had shared all day had been more than enough to make up for the soreness he would feel tomorrow. He had caught the two of them giggling together like schoolgirls a few times during the day, but hadn’t been able to find the heart to remind them to keep carrying boxes into the apartment. Walking around - and realizing that this is it, his friends are becoming adults and graduating college and buying apartments - had made him feel something, but he couldn’t put his finger on what. Excited, sure. And happy for his friends. But also sort of longing for something.

He and Davey had walked home, idly chatting about nothing in particular, and Jack remembered how warm Davey’s hand had been in his, and how calming his presence had been beside him. A steady constance that he knew wouldn’t change, even if their friend’s were all growing up and getting jobs while he’s still slaving away for an art degree.

Their window was cracked opened, and a light breeze sought its way into the room and provided some relief to the clammy warmth in the room. Jack rolled over to his side and felt the covers twist around his torso as he did. Davey had his eyes closed, one hand under his pillow and the other stretched out beside him. There was a shine to his forehead - no doubt sweat - despite the fact that they had taken a cold shower right before going to bed. Jack’s fingers brushed over his cheek, almost without him meaning to. Then he retreated his treacherous hand, because he knew how much Davey loved sleeping and how annoyed he would be if he was woken in the middle of the night. Jack watched him for another moment, not really being able to tear his gaze away. Davey’s brow furrowed, as if he was having a nightmare, before smoothing out again after a second.

And there it was again, that pang of longing Jack couldn’t explain. A deep pull in his stomach aching, almost like a hunger he didn’t know how to still.

Was this love? Like an unyielding battle inside of him, tearing at his stomach, and heart, and lungs, fighting despite the fact that it was already won?

Jack knew he loved David, he had known it for a long time. The fact that they had known each other for years before they started dating had turned their whole relationship backwards. They had said they loved each other many time before they kissed for the first time, before even going on their first date. The words had been said so many times between them that some would argue they were losing their meaning.

But now, laying in the bed with Davey next to him, Jack was certain that wasn’t the case. How could something lose its meaning just because you said it many times? The words weren’t less true just because they were spoken repeatedly. And besides, it was something he couldn’t possibly keep to himself anyway, he wasn’t nearly strong enough for that.

He brushed his fingers over Davey’s face again, this time touching his nose and forehead, smoothing out invisible lines that could only be seen when Davey was very concentrated. His nose twitched and Jack could see a small pull at the corner of his lips. Then his eyes fluttered opened, and their eyes met.

“Why are you awake?” Davey asked. His voice was laced with sleep and kind of rough but also quiet and soft. The pull in Jack’s stomach intensified, urging him to move closer, to touch and to hold and to never let go, and to tell him…

“I love you.”

Davey yawned. “That’s nice. Is that why you’re awake?”

Jack moved closer and wrapped an arm around Davey’s side. It was way too warm to lay so close, but Davey didn’t complain. “I’m awake because I keep thinking about how much I love you.”

Davey closed his eyes, but smiled and nodded before resting his forehead against Jack’s. “Maybe you should sleep.”

Jack let out a breath, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “It feels like something inside of me is moving, and growing, and pulling at me to do something, but I can’t figure out what it wants me to do, until I see you. And then I… Understand. Because it’s you, it’s always you.”

“The thing inside of you wants you to do me?”

Jack shoved Davey, who laughed breathily. “I’m opening my heart to you, here, and you’re being an asshole.” But there was a smile in Jack’s voice, just to make sure Davey knew he wasn’t really upset.

“Sorry,” Davey mumbled into Jack’s neck. “It’s just that I’m only now realizing what a big mistake it was to date an artist. So many metaphors.”

“You’re a writer!”

Davey was smiling widely now. “Right, right…”

They were both quiet for a moment. Jack started tracing words and pictures with his finger on Davey’s arm. He bit his tongue for almost a whole minute, before feeling the creature inside of him urge him on again. He stilled his hand and looked up at Davey’s face. His eyes were still closed, mouth half opened, breathing slowly in and out.

“Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“How much do you love me?”

Davey rolled over to his back. “A lot more if you let me sleep.”

Jack giggled and scooted closer. “Please.” He leaned over and placed a light kiss below Davey’s ear. “How much do you love me?”

Davey’s eyes fluttered opened again and he turned back. “You really want to know?”

Jack nodded. Davey’s gaze was hesitant now, not teasing like it had been a minute ago. It took him a long moment to say anything, and Jack could almost see the thoughts fly through Davey’s brain, trying to string words together.

“I…” Then Davey stopped and retreated back into himself for a couple of seconds before opening his mouth again. “I think… I think I love you more than, more than my mind and body can handle. I think that if I think too long or too hard about how much I love you, I might explode because a human can’t handle feeling this much at once.”

His gaze broke from Jack’s and instead moved to the open window, out of which a street lamp and a tree could be seen from the bed. Jack didn’t follow his gaze, however, as he was too busy watching his boyfriend breathe in and out at a steady pace. He smiled. “And you called me sappy.”

“I never called you sappy.”

“It was implied.”

Davey snorted softly and shook his head. There was another minute of silence before he turned back and looked at Jack. “What brought this on?” he asked.

Jack moved forward and kissed him softly. “You did.”

* * *

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