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cvastals · 3 years

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look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B

* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )

background.

middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D

they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved

the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh

gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament

(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder

(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad

(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw) wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping

the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving

(internalized homophobia tw) things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly

he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!

details.

is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic

u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG

if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times

n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes

awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl

didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things

can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms

loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after

going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field

doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar

connections.

ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms

ppl he went to school w? :D

some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………

ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part

a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)

some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG

a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects

awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral

current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH

Anything u Desire

#irvingintro #depression tw #anxiety tw #violence tw #abuse tw #missing child tw #kidnapping tw #internalized homophobia tw #tugs my shirt collar at all those tws............. SLKDHGLKHSDGKLHSDKLGHSDG #as per usual i didnt proofread lets all pray bri didnt make a mistake.

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thereindeerlady · 3 years

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Ok, but Suki writing songs and learning to play instruments (cs she is canonly in love with music and it is wholesome🥺🥺🥺) Sokka writing poetry and drawing 🥺

And then they write a(or more) song(s) about and for Yue and have come up with a dance they do when it's a full moon. They would dance around with war fans to the movements of the ocean and sing up to the moon. Every full moon. (Suki was Yue's secret lover!, but because of the nwt traditions and stuff they couldn't stay together :c idc if they met in canon or not)

U like it???

Ur thoughs??? OwO

Like it???? I LOVE IT

Yueki fuels me with so much love and happiness, i fell in love with them bc of @fruitysokka 's Unconditionally and Irrevocably fic that i highly recommend you read if you enjoy Zukka and Yueki!

But Suki learning instruments and writing music? Thats the best thing ive heard all night! I mean, I can just see her picking up on that kind of thing really easily. Learning as many instruments as possible. I feel like, because of the nature of atla, she learned all of it by ear and not really at all by the written sheet music which makes her really good at transferring knowledge of one intrument to the next. I feel like writing music comes easily to her as well, not being restricted by pen and paper and just being able to play something until it sounds just right. I can just see her chilling around a fire with the rest of the gaang while she just sings soft songs for them and plays whatever comes to mind. (Also could you imagine her just singing quiet lullabies to Yue whenever she has bad dreams at night? Brushing hair away from her face, leaving soft little kisses on her temples, soothing the lines from between her eyebrows. Soft Yueki being able to just love each other under the cover of twilight? Ugh i wanna be able to love someome like that.)

Sokka writing poetry is literally one of my favorite things oh my gooood!!! I used to write a lot of poetry (oof its all pretty bad looking back on it) and honestly, i feel like Sokka has such a way with words. I love the hc that he gets stage fright/anxiety when talking to huge groups so i love the idea of him being so eloquent in his writing when he cant be in speech. I know Sokka gets made fun of for his drawings a bit but artist Sokka also fuels my heart and love for atla. Drawing and painting is hard and it takes a lot of practice! Art is art and no art is bad art. I feel like the more Sokka really gets into his art, the better he becomes and the more he gets to express himself and his feelings. (Also, sorry im super tired bc i should be sleeping rn and im not so i might ramble a lot but tattoo artist Sokka literally never leaves my mind). So hell yeah artist/poet Sokka is 100% a thing because i said so!

But i can just see what you're talking about, I can feel the emotions that would come along with that. Building a huge bonfire on a beach somewhere, doing it all by hand without the help of any benders. Getting dressed in a mix of nwt/swt colors and Kyoshi gear, in ceremonial outfits they made just for their full moon rituals. I can hear the way they would start soft and slow, their movements gentle, almost as if in mourning the loss of someone so dear to them. I can hear how the song would crescendo gradually throughout the night, their voices carrying high into the night air as they celebrate the love and life that Yue had within her. The smell of the smoke, the sound of the song, the feel of shifting sand beneath their feet as they twist and twirl and dance around, the taste of the sea salt in the wind, and just that pure soft image of Yue looking down from the spirit world and feeling nothing less than an overflowing abundance of love in her heart.

I feel like for the first few full moons, Suki and Sokka do this by themselves. But after a while, i feel like the others slowly join in. Katara comes when the tide is too high and she parts the ocean around them long enough for them to complete their ritual. Aang joins in and learn their dance. Hes the one who suggests adding in the fans and he has special fans made just for their tradition. Toph joins and creates a special rock formation, a stage almost, right on the beach for them to build their bonfire on, tide in or out. She also brings a drum and provides a quiet beat for them to dance to. Zuko joins and adds his own song into the mix. While he dances, he signs and sings and mourns a girl he never knew because he knows what its like to be used as a pawn in a war. And Yue, though they cant see her, comes and joins their dance around the fire. And each full moon, before they pack everything up, she brushes gentle kisses on each of their foreheads and blesses them. Every single time. Its not long before they know shes there, somehow, watching over them too. (Maybe one day, Azula joins them too, joins in the dancing and mourning and celebration because she gets it. Redemption arc Azula is something i desparately want and love)

This got really long! Im sure this is not what you meant when you asked for my thoughts lmao so im sorry for that. Thank you anon for sending me this! I am literally not going to stop thinking about this for the next forever! This is just such a gorgeous idea, i love it.

#atla #sokka babey #suki #yueki #yue #zuko babey #katara #aang #toph #redemption arc azula #my asks #someone sent me an ask????#🥺🥺🥺 thank you

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kae-karo · 5 years

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[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

#advice

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dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt · 5 years

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Interesting story, you say? Let's hear it!

oof okay friendo buckle up bc it’s a bumpyass ride!!

So, the first thing y’all need to know is that poltergeists aren’t actually ghosts/spirits, per say. They’re energy, created by people, and they most often linger in houses. You know how some places feel really good when you step inside?? That’s good energy. It means not a lot of bad stuff has happened in that place, and the owners/the house are happy. Poltergeists are what happen when a lot of negative shit is going on. It might be because of hard times/a dysfunctional family/an abusive or unhealthy relationship/etc. If something unpleasant is going on, especially for an extended amount of time, a poltergeist will start to form. It’s inevitable. And it is important to note, if there is a person who is sensitive to energy/emotions/spirits, they will A) be able to add more to the poltergeist than anyone else (with or without knowing it), and B) will be more sensitive to the affects.

Now that all that’s out of the way:

our old house has one fuck of a poltergeist, mates.

My granddad (my Dad’s dad) is very sick, so we had to stop our happy caravan travels around Australia and buy a (very cheap and old) house in the middle of a literal desert to be closer to him (and did so immediately, of course.) It was a whiplash from having the time of our lives to being stuck in the little worse situation (for us.)

Everybody was worried about my granddad, we got little to no rain ever, there were a lot of thunder storms (which our dogs hate) and high winds, it got to 50 degrees Celsius in summer, we had animals to take care of (3 dogs, 3 chickens and 2 ducks) and in winter we didn’t even have to light the fire often, we were isolated from all our family and friends, and so poor from the sudden unexpected stop of our trip that sometimes we couldn’t afford food.

To put it simply: hard times.

Signs of a poltergeist:

A general uncomfortable/nervous/depressed feeling whenever you walk into the house, even if nothing is technically ‘wrong’

Things mysteriously vanishing/cupboard doors opening/strange noises/unsettled animals

Nightmares (especially ones that seem specifically targeted at things that you fear most or that upset you the most)

Odd red marks on your body (insect bites/scratches/dots)

The sensation of being watched

Drafts where there weren’t any drafts before

General feeling of not being alone/safe even when you are

Sudden mood swings (especially to extreme anger or extreme sadness)

More of a tendency to argue than usual

Catastrophic thoughts

Intrusive/bad thoughts

Depression/lethargy

Bad luck (everything that should go right always seems to go wrong)

Never seeming to be able to be truly happy in the house

you get the gist, bad shit

[note: if any of these things are happening, I strongly advise you go to your doctor and psychologist before anything else]

It started off small at first. About a year in to our stay in the house. I started feeling drafts on the back of my neck when I tried to sleep. As I said, we’d lived here for a year, so I kind of knew what to expect from the house by now. I knew which boards creaked/etc. But it was not one of the many windy days, and the draft wasn’t sporadic. It was like a rhythum. Almost like somebody was literally leaning over the bed and breathing on the back of my neck. It got so bad and so regular I could feel it moving my hairs (back when I had long hair) and tickling my face. But when I turned over to look, I couldn’t see anything. It didn’t happen all the time, even on the windy days. It was just some nights, which made it even weirder. (Note: I checked my window was shut and even slept with my door closed a few nights to see. It still happened.)

More small things started happening. Pens would go missing. The dogs were unsettled a lot. Any plants we tried to keep in the house died. We all started to feel edgy for no reason, started to have more arguments than we’ve ever had before. Everybody started to feel uneasy. It got to the point where I was scared to shut my eyes. Once, I had a run of almost a week of horrific nightmares, one after the other, every single night I had the same type of dream, where my dog was in agony and the only thing I could do to help her was to kill her with my bare hands. Again, I was terrified to go to sleep. I dreaded it. My Mum and Dad started to feel the exact same way.

My Mum started getting weird insect bite marks every single night. Two red dots, like a spider bite. She washed all the sheets, even tried sleeping in different rooms. Still woke up with them every morning, all over her body. My Dad and I took turns sharing the bed with her, but we never had the same bites. Though one morning I did wake up to my leg stinging, and it turned out there were two long, raw scratches down the inside of my thigh (there was nobody/nothing in the bed with me that could have done it, it was fresh, and I bite my fingernails to stubs out of anxiety so I couldn’t have made such a defined, clear scratch myself.) In our last few weeks in the house, my Dad actually got bitten by something while in bed, his finger bled and everything, but nothing was there, he stayed up for an hour on a work night just to find evidence of a mouse or something to please his skeptic mind, couldn’t find anything.

Worth noting is that my Mum and I both believe in the paranormal (and are sensitive to it), but my Dad doesn’t. And even he started mentioning the fact that he “felt like he was being watched” and that he was having a lot of bad dreams. And, here’s the kicker: he was having intrusive thoughts. Not ‘I’m gonna kill my family’ or anything like that, but things like “Dad’s not going to get better. I’m a failure. What’s the point? I’m worthless. Everybody hates me.” And you should all know, my Dad is THE most chipper, happiest, most positive peanut on the planet. He’s the only mentally healthy one in our little family and he NEVER thinks things like that. Not even when he is under intense stress. One night he even said he heard something in the room with him, clear as day, he was absolutely 100% sure one of the dogs had somehow gotten into the room, but when he looked, there was nothing there.

At that point, my Mum and I started to rethink the steep decline of our mental health. Because we’d always had problems, but not to this extent. We were having the exact same bad thoughts, but hadn’t really thought twice about it, since we’re The Mentally Unhealthy y’know. We started to rethink things: how instantly we’d feel better when we stepped out of the house, all the weird marks, all the weird dreams and drafts and noises and disappearing objects and everything else. I was also having a lot of headaches/stomach aches/nose bleeds at this point. It was honestly like you’d fall into a trance whenever you stepped into the house; it honest to god felt like you had the life slowly drained out of you. Even our goddamn neighbours noted it when they came over to visit.

The only way to get rid of a poltergeist is a crap-ton of sage and white light, and by starving it - getting rid of all the negative energy in your own lives and forcing yourself to be more positive. At this point though, we were already planning on moving out, so we didn’t really have time… and our situation wasn’t improving, either, so hard to be positive. Long story short, we toughed it out, and moved.

I should tell you, even though technically these last few months in this new house have probably been the most stressful and depressing few months we’ve ever had - we’ve all been sleeping like babies, we’ve had no more of the weird thoughts or depression, no more nightmares, no more weird drafts, all our animals have been perfectly content, and we’ve had no more red marks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I think my Dad may not be quite so skeptical anymore, tbh.

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weekendfriend-blog · 5 years

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Life Story

So I really haven't gotten this whole story straight because I was really high when I realized why I'm the way I am. Now I know a lot of people rn are depressed and shit and are going to read this and just say, "Oh boo hoo, that's tragic," but just because people aren't depressed doesn't mean they're not fucked up. Now to start, I'm a male aged 17 with 3 older brothers. This summer was a real eye-opener. I often hear people say "When you're high, you start putting two and two together," or something like that. Now I never really meant the meaning of this, like, when I smoke I just sit on the couch slowly drifting off while on Instagram or Ifunny or some shit. But the last time I smoked, I was already thinking of my life and why I'm like this. At age 5, my parents got divorced. Now I remember I cried like a bitch but I didn't know what them getting divorced meant. The next year, I realized i got two birthdays and two Christmas's. "WOW, is this gonna happen every year," I remember thinking, and so honestly I was fine with them splitting up because, well, we were a wealthy family (mostly my father bc my mom was a self-employed massage therapist) and I got as many shit as I wanted. This happened for about 10 years, and I finally found out why my parents hated each other and how my dad got rich and the family affairs going on in my family (ill get to that). Fast forward a couple years, my brothers got a bit hostile because of this. My two brothers closest to my age, 2 and 4 years older than me, started picking on me and shit and I was defenseless. Because of this, I got anger issues and didn't want to go outside and play football with them and so they bullied me more and so on. So I sat inside and played Xbox and at the time I lost all my allergies (i was gluten-free, lactose intolerant, couldn't have eggs and coconut. I am still deathly allergic to literally every nut ). SO all at once, I started eating these amazing foods while playing on the Xbox and started gaining weight. I was 10 so it really wouldn't matter bc I was cute. But in middle school I still was gaining weight, I think I maxed out at 250 when I was about 14 and I was about 5 foot 7. Obviously, I got insecure and shit but I was always that funny friend so no one really pointed it out bc I self depreciated. But what really made me fucked was that my brothers would compare themselves to me and call me fat to be funny to their friends. My stepdad also said I was fat, which, if you have a father figure not supporting or helping you, really messes you up so I would never talk to him. Although they made fun of me, I still wanted to hang out with them bc they looked up to them. So in short, all the people I looked up to bullied me. High school rolls around and I had a crush and asked her out. At this point, I was 240 and about 6 foot and I really knew how to hid it. I got rejected. That shit hurt. My freshman year, I was surrounded by popular "friends" that also made fun of me and put fuckin peanuts in my water so id have to go to the nurse every week (if i didn't get medicine within like 10 hours id go into cardiac arrest or something) so I got a new set of friends. Sophomore year I had my eyes on two other candidates and got rejected again. Still fuckin hurts. 2 years ago my brothers have moved out and they grew up and realized that what they did was terrible, so what did they do? They let me smoke with them. Fast forward to my junior year. I was in pretty hard classes and got a little anxious because of homework and shit but did fine in classes so I didn't really have anxiety. Now I'm still hooked on this one girl I got rejected by but I'm the funny friend so I kept my sadness without showing it for 2 years and tell jokes, which took a toll on me. Exams hit and my usually childish middle-aged pre calc honors teacher (she taught us like 1st graders, she made us sing and dance to remember formulas) got really pissed at me bc I couldn't remember how to do basic algebra two days before the exam. Now I don't really know how I got Adderal but I did. It was super useful for my exams and ended up getting a 96 (highest grade in the school for that class) on the hardest exam. I then realized that I took 30mg for 3 days straight and only ate once a day for that week and had a bunch of energy. I quickly realized this is the key for my lazy ass to lose weight without working out. Starving myself. I then took 30mg over the summer every time I had the urge to stuff my face (took about 5 days for me to eat like my normal self) but I knew the only way to be healthy at the same time is to eat healthily, so I drank a smoothie for lunch (made myself wake up at around 11 so I wouldn't eat breakfast) and ate at work around 8. I work at a pizza place but I found a pretty good pizza to make so that I wouldn't feel like shit. At the same time, at the beginning of the summer, I got a dab pen. Then one of my friends who gave me addys gave me an oxycodone pill. It was fuckin great for my insecurities. I looked through the medicine cabinets and underneath my moms sink to find some. Amazingly I did because my mom got arthritis in her shoulder a couple of years ago, so I took one of those every day and smoked until I ran out like 2 weeks in, which thank god because after that I had hard withdrawals even when I didn't have that many for that long. Although, I still smoked every day. If I took them for maybe 2 more weeks, I would've been fucked. Shortly after that, I couldn't get my hands on Adderall but since I took them for about 2 months my stomach decreased in size A LOT. But I still wanted to lose more weight, I wanted to get under 200, so I would put myself in situations where I couldn't eat or didn't have time. Two weeks ago I realized that I would lose weight but wouldn't workout throughout the summer. I came to the realization that I was not only losing fat but muscle as well. When I was a kid, I had broad shoulders and pretty muscular from fighting. So I started working out and drinking smoothies with good workout shit in it, but the problem with that is that I still want to be under 200. I'm currently 208, working out mostly once a day, sometimes twice. I've weighed my self about 2 times a week and been 208 ever since I started working out. I've lost about 30 pounds and honestly don't regret the way I did it even it's probably terrible for me to do that. I lost some fat in my face so my cheeks and chin look more defined making me look better as well as losing a lot of fat in my stomach and chest that none of my shirts fit me and my chest doesn't poke out in XL shirts (they did when I was in 2XL shirts). Overall I've lost all my insecurities about being fat and am currently talking to a cute girl that's 2 years older than me. Since I've lost 30 pounds I've seen some of my friends from school who didn't know I lost that weight and are so proud of me. My brothers have also congratulated me and supported me which really meant a lot. My ass hole stepdad also did and I'm now actually forgiving him for all the mental abuse that he has caused. I realized that I haven't given the necessary family details including my dad, stepdad and my oldest brother and I will write them at a later date because I spent 4 fucking hours doing this one.

#personal

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zackcollins · 3 years

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Oh goodness! Although I have never played animal crossing since I don’t have a device to play it on, it sure sounds fun!

Aww I see. Hopefully with all that time they can pull themselves together. 🤧

I say again, do we share the same brain?? Is this a scene from FreakyFriday?? Bc that’s literally how it was and has been for me too socially! I had a group of friends in high school who ended up treating me bad in the end. Then in college I only made acquaintances here and there but as soon as I didn’t have a class with that person, it’s like they just didn’t care to keep in contact. Sigh. This is why I am so thankful for hockeyblr and friends like you bc I can still have a social life this way even though it’s not in person. Also, if I ever met you, you better believe I would be hanging out with you and we would go do all the fun things!!!!

Oooo! I am very excited to hear about this new craft and hope you share pictures of it soon once the secret is out!

I meant every word too and am glad the feelings are mutual with talking to each other! You’re like my long lost hockeyblr pen pal and I am so grateful for you! ❤️❤️❤️

—👑

Oh! There's a mobile version of Animal Crossing. It's not quite like the Switch version, but it is something to start with. It's called Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp! It should be on either the App Store or Google Play Store, depending upon whether you have an iPhone or an Android. Hope that helps with that! And yes. Animal Crossing is fun!!

I'm hoping they can pull themselves together as well. It would be really nice for them to get into the playoffs and go on a nice run. They haven't won the World Series (the championship) since 1993. Meaning, I haven't been alive to witness a championship be brought back to Toronto in my two favourite sports since I was born in 1998. Rip me for like the millionth time today.

I didn't even go to college because I never finished high school. That's how bad my social anxiety was. I got so overwhelmed by school that I dropped out after finishing grade 10 and like. 2 grade 11 courses. So... I still have yet to complete a high school education. At the age of 23. One day I'll get there.... I hope.

I'm very excited to share this new craft! I just hope I actually get to do it. I'm really looking forward to doing it because I really want something new to occupy my time with. It's been a very long time since I've done cross-stitch so I'm looking forward to giving it a go again. I wanna see how well I can convey the picture I've chosen onto the canvas. I'm really hoping everyone likes the picture I chose and likes how I do with it. But we'll see if it gets that far!

I'm glad to be your penpal!! I've always wanted one. Writing to people regularly is really exciting because it gives me something to look forward to during an otherwise monotonous day.

I hope to hear from you soon!

#this ask is from 👑 at tumblr productions and directed at robin #mutuals #the elusive mutual #thank you for this #i appreciate it #love you bestie #<3 #robin talks #not hockey

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cryingbilldenbrough · 6 years

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*kicks down your door* Prompt: Bill gets hit on by people who are not the Losers club. At first he's like ha ha funny joke, until it's not that funny anymore bc the people that tend to like Bill Denbrough, that are draw in by his charismatic aura, are always a little too zealous, take it a little too seriously & Bill is like ok. Stop this now. He's literally hand picked by the cosmic forces of Good, thats bound to attract a lot of parasitic personalities. Basically, love spell gone wrong trope.

FUCK! why u do this to me!

(send me prompts/headcanons!)

ok so yeah you’re right, bill thinks it’s funny the first few times. he’s used to being looked up to, from the way georgie spills adoration from his pores every time bill so much as ruffles his hair to the way eddie kaspbrak, eight years old and smaller than the rest of the boys in their grade, very seriously tells bill he would jump off a bridge if bill asked him to, front tooth missing.

little richie tozier won’t look bill directly in the eyes the first time they meet, stares down at his battered converse the whole time he asks if he can go swimming with bill and eddie and stan in the quarry after school. bill assumes the kid is naturally shy until he hears the way richie rips stan a new one over the way he folds his clothes before jumping in and richie spends the afternoon trying desperately to dunk eddie and get his hair wet.

but bill turns fifteen and wonders when hesitant admiration and brotherly love turned into whispers behind hands and eyes that track him as he walks down the hallway.

he bends over to drop his books in his locker, sliding his english textbook in next to a copy of Catcher In The Rye that Richie lent him last week, and when he straightens there’s a senior girl leaning on the locker next to his. her bubblegum smells like strawberry and she leans forward into bill’s personal space, snapping her mouth and narrowing her eyes at his hesitance.

“you got a date for prom, debrough?” she asks and bill shakes his head nervously. he wonders how she knows his name.

“i-i’m only a s-s-sophomore” bill replies, eyes darting down the hallway in search of a familiar face. eddie should be getting out of chemistry any minute and rounding the corner and bill hopes desperately he didn’t get sidetracked by richie or stan.

“i’ll get you in,” she says in reply and before bill can open his mouth to respond she’s sticking a note in the front pocket of his shirt and popping her gum. “you can pick me up at eight. my dress is pink,”

bill’s mom’s eyes light up when he goes home and tells her about his date, asking tentatively if she’ll take him shopping for a suit. she pinches his cheeks and marvels at how grown-up he is and her attention is enough to make bill forget about the way the girl’s narrowed eyes had made bill feel like a cornered animal.

the note in his pocket feels like lead and when he unfolds it, it has the senior’s telephone number written in glittery pen. she’s kissed the paper too, waxy and shiny with lipgloss that smells so strongly of mango it makes bill feel sick. he drops the note on the top of his dresser and instead of excitement, anxiety swirls in his stomach all night.

richie finds the entire situation hilarious when bill tells the gang at lunch the next day, begging bill to tell him all about the night when he gets back. in fact, the whole group seems to find it a lot funnier than bill does, joking about bill getting drunk off punch at the dance and going to some upperclassmen party afterwards to “get in her pants, bill! well, dress”

“shut up, richie,” eddie says and bill thinks he has a friend on his side who finds the whole situation as wrong as he does but then eddie turns to him and offers to help bill pick out a corsage for her.

the night of prom, bill gets ready alone. his mom leaves his suit hanging on the back of his bedroom door and he stares at it for half an hour, trying to psych himself up enough to try it on. his mom found a pink bowtie, pale and already tied, and hung it over the hanger and the color reminds him of the girl’s bubblegum.

bill takes a shower, letting hot steam fill the bathroom, and then gets dressed with the door closed and the room still humid. his wet hair brushes the collar of the suit, staining the grey material dark, and he slicks it back. he fumbles the tie on, sweating in the heat, and he wipes the condensation away from the mirror.

he looks like a kid playing dress up. his skin is smooth and unblemished, a blessing throughout puberty that he maintains he doesn’t deserve, and his suit is too big for his narrow shoulders.

bill knows there is no world where someone could mistake him for an adult, no way the senior girl is going to look at him and see anything but a teenager trying to be something he’s not.

she picks him up in her car, an old beater that shudders when she goes over 35 mph, and her dress is a very different shade of pink than bill’s bowtie. her blonde hair is piled atop her head, curling around and framing her face and bill feels ridiculous with his wet hair and shiny shoes.

“you want a smoke?” she asks, cracking open the window and lighting up a camel. bill’s only ever smoked with the losers, knees huddled to their chests as they hide in the clubhouse, and he shakes his head at her. he wonders for a moment who she gets to buy them for her and then remembers she’s probably eighteen and able to purchase them herself.

she smokes the entire way to the dance, only cracking the window enough to let a small amount of smoke drift out and by the time they’re pulling up to the school bill is lightheaded and drowsy.

“i’ll let you in the side door,” she says, opening her door with a squealing sound and locking it behind her. bill takes a deep breath and gets out of the car, watching as she walks through the gym doors. she pauses and fishes a ticket out of her purse which she flashes at the teacher at the door. bill skirts around the edge of the gym, passing by drunken teens. he finds the side door and waits by it nervously, fingering his bowtie and sticking his hands deep in his pockets.

“denbrough!” he hears and jerks his head up to see the senior girl waving him over. he jogs to her, careful not to trip in his new shoes, and makes his way into the dance.

the gym is covered in streamers, some hanging limply and torn, and there’s a DJ blasting music through the PA. the girl leads bill towards her group of friends, a couple girls bill doesn’t recognize and their dates. he knows one of the boys is the captain of the baseball team and he regards bill with cool brown eyes. bill tries not to look weak, to look young.

for the most part, the dance is boring. the senior girl doesn’t make him dance with her, which bill is immensely thankful for because while stan offered to teach him ballroom moves, the rest of the kids seem to be grinding against each other in ways that make bill blush. the only turn in the evening comes when the girl nudges him, sticking a flask into his hands.

“i stole some vodka from my dad’s stash” she whispers to him, somehow so loud over the thrum of the music. bill looks down at the flask in his hands, shining silver in the light of derry high school’s sad looking disco ball, and gives it back to her with a shake of his head.

“i thought you were cool, denbrough,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him. she tips the bottle back and swallows a long gulp before gasping and wincing. she downs the whole thing after a quick breath, squeezing her mascara eyes shut and sticking the flask back into her purse. her cheeks look alight already, warm and alive and bill is suddenly afraid of her.

there’s a softening behind her eyes as the alcohol takes hold, an inhibition letting loose and bill takes a step backwards as her gaze wracks over his gray suit. she takes a step towards him, slow and almost stupid, and runs a hand through his now dry hair. it makes his bangs fall over his forehead and bill feels so young and so old at the same time.

“you gonna be cool, denbrough?” she says, slurring just a little bit, and bill panics. her breath smells like smoke and cheap alcohol and strawberry gum and her eyes have an evil in them that bill doesn’t immediately recognize from anywhere specific but it alights a flight response in him. he backs away quickly and runs straight into a solid body. he spins and looks up to see his PE teacher standing behind him and the teacher’s eyes light up with recognition. before the man can say anything, bill is darting away.

he runs out through the front doors, past the history teacher taking tickets and past the seniors who shout rude things at his pale face.

he considers going back to the senior girl’s car, to at least have somewhere to hide and calm down, but remembers she locked it. he doesn’t want to be anywhere near her anyway, so afraid of the infatuation in her eyes, so he runs for the road instead. his house is only a few blocks away, anyway.

then he remembers the look on his mom’s face when he told her about the dance, and figures going home now would only disappoint her. he’s disappointed her enough.

he finds himself turning down stan’s street. the houses look big and empty in the moonlight, windows dark and dead. the trees whisper in the wind, leftover chill from the winter that has just ended. bill wraps his arms tight around himself, wishing he thought to bring a jacket to wear over his suit, and scuffs his shoes on the ground as he turns down stan’s driveway.

the uris house is still light, homey and inviting, and bill doesn’t even ring the doorbell. the front door isn’t locked anyway, not on a night like tonight, and bill lets himself in silently. he deposits his shoes on the rug next to the door and slinks down the hall to stan’s room.

he doesn’t knock, afraid to disturb the weird peace that is settled over stan’s home, and enters without warning. stan is asleep, curled up with his spine facing bill, and he shucks his jacket off and sets it on stan’s desk chair. he sinks down onto the floor at the foot of stan’s bed and waits for stan to wake naturally.

“bill? is that you?” stan’s voice is rough from sleep, croaking out quietly. he sits up and bill turns to look at him. his skin is smooth, pale in the light that shines through his bedroom window, and he looks young. he looks as young as bill feels and it’s weirdly comforting. “dance didn’t go well?” stan asks, rubbing his eyes.

bill considers lying. he’s sure he would have if stan were richie. he would have made up some story about making out with the senior girl in the back of her beater if it meant richie would laugh and call him an animal. but stan’s eyes are warm and bill feels weak and alone.

he shakes his head, loosens his tie, and looks down at his socked feet. stan tuts his tongue and waits a beat before bill hears him slap the bed next to him.

“well, climb up,” stan says and bill doesn’t hesitate. he untucks his shirt and takes it off, leaving him in just his undershirt. stan’s wearing a set of matching pajama pants that look incredibly soft and bill leaves his slacks on. he doesn’t care if they get wrinkled because he has no desire to ever wear them again.

“what happened?” stan asks, voice quiet. bill tells him all about the night, about the girl basically propostitioning him drunkenly. stan doesn’t say anything for a long time.

“should i have wanted to?” bill asks finally, turning on his side to regard stan in the darkness. stan furrows his brow and looks incredibly considering and bill loves when his friends do things seriously for him.

“that’s up to you, bill,” stan responds and bill sighs. he snuggles further into stan’s sheets, letting his friend’s familiar scent wash over him and cleanse every memory of the girl’s strawberry gum from his nostrils.

“i just wish people didn’t want things from me all the time,” bill says to the open air, curling his toes into stan’s sheets. stan doesn’t respond and bill turns to see him asleep already, eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks. time has stolen the freckles from his nose and bill misses them, misses the way they got darker in the summer sun.

bill falls asleep with stan’s breath blowing over his face and vows to never trust admiration ever again.

#bill denbrough #FUCK IVE MADE MYSELF SAD #this turned out very different than i thought it would so like sorry??#stenbrough #kind of #my writing

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podcastmecaptain · 7 years

Text

the stim bin

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today as well all three aforementioned dorks are neurodivergent folks writing about neurodivergent folks.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

attention: all contents incredibly neurodivergent

everyone shares those fidget cubes

collectively they have like five

in so many colors

esther also designs a giant version that’s like. the size of a KEYBOARD and with lots more options and Bigger

jack builds it

they call it the stimboard deluxe

anthony has nintendo

sally brings him all her childhood games and watches him hyperfocus

sally and anthony were the first autistic friend each other had and they love sharing weird stuff from their childhoods that nobody else liked

they have a lot of overlap of interests and they spent so long without anyone like them who really got them

and they both feel so safe and loved not only with each other but with the whole gang because everyone’s neurodiv af even if they’re not sure in exactly what way

anthony brings notes everywhere

scribble scribble

Doing The Right Thing, Doing Science For Good is sort of his ruling philosophy

a lot of times it’s really easy to lead him down the wrong path if he thinks it’s Science For Good

he has some problems with gullibility

the pressure stimming is too real

PRESSURE! STIM! HUGS!

Big Coats or Lab Coats

fiddling with his glasses

he’s bad at artistic/creative things and just doesn’t get it. he can follow a pattern tho,

polish patterns work for him, especially with tape. he likes taking care of his nails because he’s v tactile, he likes the smooth feeling of the polish and likes tapping his nails

he either gets really anxious or angry about Bad things

breakdowns, breaking things, and weirdly quick recoveries

he could hug people for hours

he usually does if he’s had a panic attack, but other than that acts like he’s fine

canon says sally eats weird and has a disturbing appetite so like,

sally separating EVERY SINGLE FOOD by group and flavor and texture and then like putting one piece of one in her mouth at a time and keeps TALKING CAUSE SHE’S A DORK

other options:

SHREDS EVERYTHING AND EATS IT WITH A STRAW

eats only EXACTLY one quarter of anything at a time and forgets the rest

uses her hands for THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT

burnt things

she love the Cronch

puts things together that should not even touch

jack cries the day he sees her dip pickles in whipped cream and shove a fistful of blue cheese blissfully into her mouth immediately after that

sally’s special interests:

electronics, gadgets, tinkering, SCIENCE, beginning quantum physics, computers

stims by tinkering and uses voice recordings for vocal stims, plays with her hair and bites her nails, spinning, dancing, tapping tools

hands on everything

the dancing is so bad and uses her full body (it’s actually so cute)

is a bad driver bc she either hyperfocuses on the road or she starts TALKING and gets lost in anything BUT driving

sally wears her lab coat everywhere

she plays with the seams, runs the fabric between her fingers, tugs on the corners of it to create pressure on her shoulders

sometimes she spins in a circle just to let the fabric flap behind her like a cape

tags on clothing are EVIL

she takes them out with a seam ripper till there’s no traces

sallys clothes are always a little large and odd bc if they’re not comfy she Dies

no really she’ll end up in a ball somewhere crying because of sensory grossness

she has serious sensory processing issues

sometimes it’s really a Drag but she loves fiddling with things so much and it feels so good and she wouldn’t give it up for the world

she has a watch that sometimes she’ll make clicking noises along with the tick tick tick tick

lots more under the readmore!

sally is the queen of weighted blankets

she always has one readily accessible in case she needs to wrap up in it

the gang Knows this and they’re always asking her to borrow one

like one time esther texts sally like “help me im having sensory issues and i need hugs”

and sally turns up with not one but TWO heavy blankets

(she may have fallen over once or twice trying to carry both of them)

(just these two lil scurrying feet on skinny legs goin patpatpatpat supporting this huge bundle of extra-weighted bedding floating down the hall)

she wraps esther in them and then squeezes her, too

for good measure, sally gets up on her tippie toes and rests her chin on esther’s head

esther, muffled: “i am a burrito now”

sally: “a precious tiny gay burrito”

or, estherrito

bridget puts her in her phone contacts as ‘ettie burrito’

and sally in turn puts her in hers as ‘questherdilla’

also oh my god when will she Stop doing fingerguns with accompanying tongue clicks

sally talks to herself

she has a little wee tape recorder named Diane because Diane

its covered in stickers

she likes to record what she’s doing to organize herself and calm down

and she’ll replay them to process things

sometimes her friends will leave happy messages on there for her

or helen will sing her a little ditty

helen is the world’s best audio stim

her voice is just really soothing

she’ll sing absently and everyone just operates more smoothly for that minute

she likes singing for herself too

humming and tapping her instrument is a soothing habit

helen is very audio/vocal

she likes to play the same song over and over again

bridget has some issues with self image

she also has obsessive tendencies, sometimes related to organization and labeling things

but also related to literature and only being able to talk about whatever she’s into

sometimes it’s easier to quote things from her favorite books instead of replying in her own words

she doesn’t like things that are uneven or unbalanced

objects OR concepts that are unfair or unequal

(except her hair. her hair is badass and she’s okay with that kind of disunity)

esther’s adhd and her big stims are

high heel clicks on the floor when she walks

fancy & feminine clothes that make her feel secure

the ritual of putting on her makeup

pencils (tapping or twirling)

HER RINGS, she has three and she spins spins spins

she likes to rub the shaved side of bridget’s head

and run her fingers through the hair on the other side

she ALWAYS has her father’s old deck of cards with her, she’s shuffled them so many times they’re completely worn down, and no one is allowed to touch them but her

they’re very soft, she has a new pack as well for crisper sound/feeling and everyday use

sometimes she uses card games as lens to make sense of the world

she has a rough time with communication and a rough time with empathy but she’s trying to work on both of those

both come easier with people she’s close to and bridget is helping her some too

it’s easy for her to hyperfocus in class and doing homework, so it took them a while to diagnose her

out of all of them, esther is the best at reminding people to be organized and do self-care (tho she doesn’t always take care of herself)

she spends a lot of her time in her own head, she really values alone time, and she needs to recharge after she spends time around people

even people she loves

jack’s also adhd, had been diagnosed for a while and has almost all of the opposite symptoms as esther (which is another one of the reasons it took them so long to figure out esther)

jack always works better after he moves, if he runs a little or bounces a ball around or is shaking his legs, rocking on his heels

he makes lots of rolling rrr sounds and blows his lips when he’s frustrated

the pencil chewing ended in splinters and the pen chewing ended in ink all over so now he has a little necklace with a chewable shark

the sharks name is Fredrico

his binder is actually kinda helpful because it’s pressure

he screws and unscrews things a lot

actually taking apart and putting back together all machinery is a Big Thing

june is dyslexic

she has cute tinted glasses to help her with studying

sometimes helen reads stuff out loud for her, she doesn’t mind but june hates to ask

for her birthday quentin bought her a five sided highlighter to color code different things

she has some emotional processing issues

it’s easier to feel angry than anything else

& her methods of dealing with anger aren’t super healthy either

quentin is the only one who actually can manage himself

Quentin is a Hydrated Boy

(he has great skin)

quentin always comes across as super chill but that’s actually because he has hella anxiety and works really hard to manage it

penny is autistic and if june and helen are the dad and mom friends and esther is the gay cousin

then sally and anthony are the autistic aunt and uncle who adopt penny as their niece

they can spot one of their own from a mile off and just decided We Gonna Take Her Under Our Big Fluffy Damn Wings

penny is the Flappiest Autistic

big happy arm flaps, upset little hand flaps, her fast excited flaps are literally the best and most joyous thing

she’s always been kinda embarrassed and insecure about it but jack is so supportive

he’s only a moderate flapper but he often flaps with her when she does it

and he calls her his butterfly

this melts her heart and makes her feel happy and not weird and when this happens she is prone to flapping even harder

she calls him her moth

they’re precious fluttery darlings

sometimes when they both get going, sally joins in too and they all spin around the room fluttering in a big flappy tornado

it’s Good

#ars placement #ars paradoxica #sally grissom #esther roberts #anthony partridge #helen partridge #june barlowe #jack wyatt #bridget chambers #quentin barlowe #penny wise #estherroberts #lizzieraindrops #high school au #modern au #neurodivergent #actually autistic #nd headcanons

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aroceu · 7 years

Text

writing meme 018

wow have i really done 18 memes on this blog already? anyway

nabbed from @memordes which really shouldn’t be a surprise

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

i don’t post wips, but in terms of actual wips i’ve been working on... my top priority is (obvs) a wip, which i want to finish by next month which is a problem when mental health has been getting in the way of everything

and then i have 6 that i started within the realm of ‘recent’ that i want to finish

but i really have a lot, as always (#Ne problems...)

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

lol

3) Do you prefer real books or ebooks?

i don’t care either way, books are books! ebooks tend to be easier and more accessible for others, i do like the feeling of physically holding a book but that’s literally just because it’s a preference and because i like the feeling of physically owning/possessing books, which i know is not a shared experience.

4) When did you start writing?

man lmao i was asked this question last week... the first story i distinctly remember writing and enjoying writing was when i was 6y/o and was about me encountering aliens (i probably mentioned this in an earlier meme too), i really adored both writing and drawing at 7/8/9, at 10 i got really obsessed with books which led to me being really passionate about writing - there was a before-school club for creative writing and i kind of flaunted myself. also for our gifted program i would write stories for our longterm projects. (i got like a 12k thing and a 4k thing done, they were self-inserty and embarrassing but i was 9-10 so WHATEVER.) 11/12/13 i got super into it and so did a lot of my friends and then like when irl shit happened i just dissociated via writing so... lmao. it’s really just escalated over the years.

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

lmao this sounds... well, anyway, it depends on the work. but tl;dr i have a bunch of different people i would send initial drafts to bc i trust them and bc what i write i feel like falls into their lines of interests

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

alone bitch

7) Favourite childhood book?

all my childhood books are my favorites tbh i usually don’t like contemporary/modern/adult shit but mostly because i have 0 attention span and they’re about topics i don’t care about; children’s books approach simplistic topics and usually explore them in complex ways. ANYWAY, children-children books my fav is the time garden by edward eager (who i always cite as my fav author)

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

both! honestly years ago i would’ve said publication but i’m like really disillusioned now to a) how the publishing industry works, b) what exactly i would like to get published (both in terms of content and quality), and c) after like years of anxiety and being such a pretentious ass re: publication it’s way more fulfilling for me now just to prioritize fun first, publication second.

and also i’ve been published before

9) Pen and paper or computer?

both always, though i change a lot regarding how much energy or attention span i have (which these days is close to none so it’s really not like i’ve been writing much lately anyway...) also with the shit attention span my quality when i write longhand is <<<<<<<<<<<<< compared to when i’m on the computer because my brain sucks so i’m more inclined to digital screens these days anyway

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

yes, i take writing classes literally any opportunity i can lmao. elementary school, middle school, high school, 3 years of uni... which probably amounts to at least 10 over my life, not including required english courses lmao

also fun fact apparently one of my old english teachers (who was bad, anyway) after i had left middle school had apparently made the 13 year olds do nanowrimo; my brother had told me since he was that age at the time, though he didn’t have the teacher. anyway i was jealous but i also thought it was fucking hilarious because it’s kind of senseless to make 13 year olds write 50k in a month if they don’t make the initial choice or have that kind of dedication to

11) What inspires you to write?

a bunch of shit but mostly i just have a cool idea so i write it because my ideas are amazing and flawless and i am talented at executing them (Y)

#.meme

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