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#my apologies like I said I’m bad at this
livwritesstuff · 2 days
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Eddie is holed up in the office of his and Steve’s home working on some writing when he notices an odd kind of commotion coming from upstairs.
Now, he and Steve have three daughters under the age of ten, so commotion is pretty much a baseline for them, but it’s odd because it sounds like Steve might actually be involved this time, and that makes it especially weird because Eddie was pretty sure that Steve was taking the kids to see a movie to give Eddie a few hours to maybe hit that word count goal (he probably won't, but whatever).
It's just about odd enough for Eddie to go investigate further and, indeed, he finds a very much ticked-off Steve standing outside of their middle daughter Robbie’s closed bedroom door.
“What the hell is going on?” Eddie asks.
Steve rounds on him. 
“She’s driving me insane,” Steve says, “That kid is you in a seven-year-old’s body, and I’m going insane.”
“Wait, can you…” Ed shook his head, “What’s happening?”
“I thought it would be fun to take the girls to that new Nanny McPhee movie because they liked the first one, right?” he starts
“Sure.”
“The second – the second – I suggested it, Robbie starts ranting and raving. Ed, do you know what she said to me? 
“Oh god,” Eddie said warily, “What’d she say?”
“She said sequels aren’t passion projects, Papa. They’re just for money. Who the fuck do you think she learned that one from, Ed?”
And yeah, shit, that might be Eddie’s bad.
“Whatever,” Steve says before Eddie has a chance to respond, “So she doesn’t wanna go – that’s fine – but, shocker, the other two still want to go, and just as we’re walking out the door, Robbie demands that we wait for her because she actually does want to come and now,” Steve pauses to hold in a laugh as Robbie scutters out of her room in the direction of the bathroom, one shoe on and an earring half-in, “Now we’re gonna be so fuckin’ late because this one can’t just throw on a sweatshirt and get in the car.”
Eddie knows for a fact that Robbie had spent the entire weekend in the same pajamas she’d worn to bed on Friday night, but now she’s donned a denim dress with a red t-shirt and black tights underneath. She’s got black combat boots on her feet (just one at the moment, actually), and she’s wearing the leather jacket Eddie had found at a thrift shop in New York to complete the ensemble.
“Look at this kid,” Steve says, following Robbie into the bathroom and watching as she tried to fix her earring with one hand and her hair with the other, “Robbie, it’s August. It’s almost ninety degrees outside. Maybe think about ditching the leather.”
“I don’t care,” she fires back, “It’s about the look, Papa.”
“We’re going to a movie theater. It’ll be pitch black. Nobody will be looking at anything other than the movie. Let’s go.”
But Robbie is already pushing past him with a belligerent, “Outta my way. I gotta get another necklace.”
Steve manages to snag Robbie by the back of her jacket and swing her up into his arms.
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he says as Robbie furiously tries to squirm out of his grip to no avail, “Oh, I’m Robbie and I’m four feet tall and I get up-in-arms about everything and I’m gonna wear a leather jacket in August even though I once got heat exhaustion at the mall and gave her dad a fuckin’ heart attack.”
Robbie is in giggling hysterics by the time Steve ends his onslaught of mockery and puts her down.
“What do you think?” Steve asks, “You ready to go?”
“Yeah,” she says, and then she asks, “Can you help me find my other shoe?”
“And now she’s asking me for shit,” Steve comments in disbelief as Robbie ducks back into her room. He looks at Eddie, “Seriously, you need to call Wayne and apologize for everything you must have put him through.”
“Alright.”
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minniesmutt · 2 days
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i would love consume for your skz x chase atlantic ?!?! its such a good song 😵‍💫😵‍💫
☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞
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☾ ━━━ PAIRING: HAN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: BRIEF MENTION OF ANXIETY AND OVERWORKING, COCKWARMING, COMFORT FIC REALLY ☾ ━━━ WC: 0.7K ☾ ━━━ NOTE:  ☾ ━━━ send me Chase Atlantic songs and a member to write a blurb about ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog
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     Late nights in the studio always ramped up as it came closer to comeback deadlines. Jisung needed a break before he was too overworked. He finished what he could for the night and packed up. Heading home for the night to sleep. He had a day off tomorrow but he knew he’d just work on the song at home— much to his girlfriend’s dismay. 
     He got out of the car and made his way to their front door. He was sure she was asleep but he paused when he noticed her sitting in the living room, wide awake. 
     “You’re still awake?” Jisung asked 
     Y/n looked at her boyfriend, “I felt like waiting up for you.”
     “Why?” Jisung moved closer to her
     “I miss you.” Y/n smiled and opened the blanket for him to sit with her.
     “I’m sorry…” Jisung mumbled as he leaned down, wrapping his arms around her and laying on her.
     “What are you sorry for?” Y/n asked, holding him close 
     “I haven’t seen you in days because of this deadline. Now you're ruining your sleep schedule for me.” Jisung felt the anxiety in his chest. All his thoughts said he was a terrible boyfriend. Neglecting his perfect girlfriend. 
     “Ji,” Y/n sighed and rubbed his back, “Look at me?” she asked
     “Don’t leave. I’m sorry.”
     “I’m not leaving, baby. Just want you to look at me, can you do that?”
     Jisung looked up at her per her request, “I’m sorry…”
     “Don’t apologize. I know you have deadlines and you’re busy. I knew that when we got together Ji. But I know you always come home at night. I love waking up in the middle of the night with your arms around me, even though I miss spending time with you, I don’t blame you for it.”
     “You mean that?” 
     “Of course.”
     Y/n took off his beanie and ran her finger through his hair. “How about we go up to bed?”
     Jisung nodded and got off his girlfriend. Y/n turned off the TV and pulled her boyfriend up to their bedroom. Jisung followed her up like a lost puppy. Y/n got out a change of clothes for him and handed them to him to change. The rapper quickly changed as Y/n pulled back their covers and plugged in both their phones before Jisung joined her under their covers. Y/n wrapped her arms around him and held her against her chest. Jisung let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her chest. 
     Y/n kissed the top of his head and felt his whole body relax. “I love you,” Jisung mumbled
     “I love you too.” Y/n told him
     Jisung looked up at her and puckered his lips at her. Y/n giggled and pecked his lips, “Stop overworking.”
     “I just want to be able to provide you the live you deserve.”
     “Not at the sake of your mental health. I know you’re working hard but it’s okay to take a break. You have two other producers you work with.”
     “You’re right,” Jisung sighed
     “You’re off tomorrow?”
     “Yeah.”
     “We’re staying in bed and watching Studio Ghibli then. No work. You need a break.”
     “As long as you don’t leave my arms, I’ll be fine.”
     “Go to sleep.” Y/n pecked his forehead
     “Can you sit on it while we sleep?”
     “The last time i cockwarmed you you made my legs jelly.”
     “Please? I wanna be close to you right now after I’ve been M.I.A for a while. Plus you’re ass looked really good when we were walking up.”
     “How can you go from almost having an anxiety attack about being a bad boyfriend in your eyes to horny as hell?” Y/n asked as she unwrapped herself from him to pull off her sleep shorts and underwear
     “Stay would say it’s my duality.” Jisung smiled as he pulled down his pants and boxers.
     Y/n rolled her eyes playfully at him before peeling the covers just a bit so they could see what they were doing. Jisung pumped himself a few times till he was hard enough to slip in. Carefully sliding into his loving girlfriend. Moving slowly so she could adjust to him till he was as deep as he could go.
     “I love you so much.” Jisung wrapped his arms around her as she pulled the blankets back over them, “Someday, I’m gonna marry you.”
     “I’ll happily wait for that day.”
     “Even if I proposed tomorrow?”
     “The answer will always be yes.”
     The couple kissed one last time before settling into sleep. Being as close as they possibly could and his cock nestled in between her walls. Jisung could die a happy man. 
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norizzsainz · 2 days
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🌶️ NFY : BACK TO SQUARE ONE
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[ carlos sainz x singer!fem!reader ] [ wc ] 0.9k
[ summary ] carlos' and y/n's breakup comes as a surprise to many of their friends. no one ever thought the couple would ever break up, but alas, y/n was always ready to do whatever was best for the love of her life — even if it meant breaking up with him.
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━━━━ MARCH 08, 2024 : AIRPORT, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
everything was happening too quickly for you to process anything at all.
an hour ago, you had just released your international tour dates for your concerts.
half an hour later, you find out that carlos has appendicitis and needs immediate surgery for it.
an hour after that, you get a call from charles asking you to fly down to saudi arabia because everyone was being denied permission to visit carlos.
“wait, what? why do you need me to come if no one is allowed to visit him?”
“because carlos is still under anesthesia and can’t make choices for himself. they won’t let anyone but his guardian meet him. and you are his guardian, y/n. remember?”
thankfully, you were already in abu dhabi for a promo event, which meant you were only three hours away from where carlos was.
i just need to be in and out. i won’t stay long. you told yourself, swearing that you wouldn’t spend any extra time there. i will go, remove myself as his guardian, and come back; that’s all.
on your way over, you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, finding everything amusing.
so much for breaking up and trying to be strangers.
━━━━ MARCH 08, 2024 : HOSPITAL, SAUDI ARABIA
as you walked through the halls, the urgency of the situation seemed more real, causing you to quicken your steps.
carlos was hurt. he exerted himself while he was hurt. why would he push himself so much like this?
charles was right behind you, matching your fast pace as you rushed to the vip lounge of the hospital.
“carlos sainz,” you told the front desk. “i am his guardian, y/n l/n.”
the woman politely smiled, nodding. “come with me, miss l/n. he’s out of surgery now. i will take you to go see him.” she stood from her seat, attempting to guide you to his room.
”i just, uh, i’m here to sign the papers. to provide permission for his family to see him,” you quickly said.
“oh.” the receptionist’s smile fell, looking confused. “so, you will not be seeing the patient?”
charles noted the change in the woman’s tone. “she will! she just wants to make sure his family can also see him‌,” he intervened, giving you a look.
“great! you can sign these papers here and we can go see the patient.”
you threw a wide-eyed look at charles as you signed the papers; the brunet avoiding eye-contact with you.
“thank you.” you smiled at the receptionist as you handed over the papers.
charles offered a slight smile as the receptionist guided you towards carlos’ room, wordlessly apologizing for the situation he put you in.
you winced as you noticed your ex-boyfriend’s family standing outside his room, just wanting to bury yourself in the ground.
you turned towards his mother, feeling bad. “i’m seriously sorry, mama.” you bit your lip when the name slipped out, not noticing how the elder woman’s smile widened at your words.
reyes waved off your apology, smiling widely. “you don’t have to apologise. it’s not like you knew about this.” you sighed as you heard her assuring words.
“it’s been months so i thought he must’ve removed me as his guardian.” you winced, noting the way sainz sr glared at you.
“what are we waiting for now? i need to see my son.” sainz sr tapped his foot, arms crossed as he raised his brows at you.
you didn't waste time in opening the door for your ex’s family, letting them go through.
just as you tried to step away, charles pushed you inside, ushering you forward before closing the door behind him.
“what the hell are you doing?” you whisper-yelled, brows furrowed. “let me leave! this is not what you promised!”
before charles could reason his actions, you froze as you heard your name being called by a very familiar voice.
“mi amor? what are you doing over there?” carlos' words were slurred, the anesthesia still wearing off him. “come here, please.”
you stared at your feet, trying to play it off. you were in a dangerous territory right now, with every moment being difficult for you.
ana pulled on your arm, dragging you towards her brother. your gaze widened as you made eye-contact with your ex.
“h-hello. hi.”
“carina.” carlos gave you a woozy smile, a sparkle in his eyes as he looked at you. “i'm very happy to see you, amor.”
you nodded in a rush. “i need to go now, though. i'm busy,” you stammered, noting the way sainz sr continued to glare at you.
“like, right now?”
“yes, right now, carlos.”
your mind was running wild at what sainz sr was thinking of this interaction that you couldn't properly look at carlos.
because if you did, you would've definitely seen it coming.
without a warning, carlos pulled on your arm, bringing your face closer to him.
and just like that, without a warning, he placed his lips upon yours, taking you by surprise.
you jerked your head away as soon as you processed what was happening, slapping your hands over your mouth.
“i swear that wasn't—i didn't…” you tried to explain yourself to your ex's family who looked just as surprised.
“that anesthesia must be strong as fuck,” ana commented in awe. “i wonder if i can get some of that, too.”
you were a stuttering mess as you tried to explain yourself, just opting to run out of the room after saying your goodbyes.
“i'll just leave. bye, mr sainz. bye, mama. bye, ana. fuck you, charles.”
you sprinted out the door before anyone could say anything, not stopping until you were outside the hospital.
no one had run after you and you were thankful for that, because the last thing you wanted was to talk about what had just happened.
so much for thinking i was doing well and moving on. now i'm back to square one. fuck.
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cheeeeseburger · 21 hours
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Sweet like tiramisu, bitter like coffee
Lance Stroll x Reader
A/N: I don't know how I feel about this one, but I wrote it in honour of the Canadian GP! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes!
“Lance, I think you should call security. Look who’s here!” Your older brother pointed at you, acting like you were some kind of crazy fan who sneaked in.
You glanced at your brother “They really let you in? Even with your ugly face? It’s going to be bad for their PR, I tell you.” He only sticked his tongue out to you in response.
“Hey, kid,” Lance simply said.
You grinned at Lance, and when he smiled back, it was like you were fourteen again, trying to impress him when skiing at the Mont Tremblant, sneaking glances at him. Gosh, he still had that boyish look that used to make you stutter in front of him.
“Salut, Lance. It’s been a while” you said. He pulled you closed to give you a kiss on each cheek. He smelled like that one hoodie of his that he gave you years ago when you were cold at La Ronde. Embarrassingly, you still wear it sometimes, probably more than you should.
“I know, you’ve changed, kid. You used to be so small. I guess you grew up, huh?”
To prove his point, you gave him a little spin, with your sundress flowing around your thighs. Lance looked at you up and down, noticing that you had grew in all the right places. He flushed a little.
“I guess I did,” you answered, looking right into his eyes. For once, it was him who seemed more affected by your interaction. Your cheeks were only coloured a light pink, a clear amelioration from the tomato look you used to rock whenever you talked to Lance.
Your brother put a stop to the moment you two shared. “Alright, quit showing off. She is still the same as before, only without the braces. Don’t be fooled, Lance, she is still an airhead.” You smacked him on the arm.  “An airhead with a uni degree, dumbass. You’re a college dropout.”
That was a low blow, but still, your brother deserved it. You got a middle finger in response. Lance chuckled, seeing that you hadn’t changed completely.
“You’re still as quick as you were before, kid,” he said, laughing. “What’s your degree in? Engineering, right?”
“Yeah, I just graduated in mechanical engineering. But I’m starting my master in the fall, at McGill.”
He looked impressed at your degree and at the famous Montreal school you attended. “Damn kid, you’re not the type to take it easy, huh? Unlike your lazy ass brother over there.” He lightly punched him on his arm. Your brother pretended to be offended. “Come on guys, do I really deserve all this verbal abuse?”
He saw you laugh, and decided he could not let that slide. “You, shut up, or I’ll tell Lance you had his picture in your locker in high school.”
You gasped. Oh no he didn’t.
Lance laughed, blushing a little. “That’s cute. What about college? Do you have a picture of me at McGill?” He looked way too smug.
This was bad. Very bad. Still, was he just flirting with you?
At the same time, his father entered the paddock. You jumped at the opportunity to change the subject.
“Lawrence, mon Stroll préféré!” You smiled at him. The older man opened his arm to give you a hug.
“Mon sucre d’orge, how are you?” He always had the best hug, making you feel safe and loved.
Lawrence Stroll was like an uncle to you, a father even. Your family and the Stroll family were very close, and you grew up side by side with the Stroll children, even though you were a few years younger than them. You went skiing together during the winter break. You went on vacations together. Your summers were filled with meals at each other house, and you ended up begging to sleepover every single time. To this day, the smell of chlorine always takes you back to endless afternoons spent playing in the pool at the Stroll house.
“I’m doing great, I’m happy to be here!” you replied. You had seen the man only a few weeks earlier, at your graduation dinner, so there wasn’t much catching up to do.
Lawrence exclaimed: “Mon sucre d’orge, you should be at every races! After you finish your master, you should work for us!”
You beamed at the man: “I would like that very much.” It’s true, you would love it. And you had the degree for it.
“So would I. And I wouldn’t be the only one,” he added in a whisper, gesturing towards Lance.
You turned a deep shade of red. Typical you. Lawrence always knew you had a thing for his son. Luckily, Lance did not look like he had heard what his father just said. If he did, you’d have to leave Montreal to live in a country where there are no races.
You brother shook hands with Lawrence, talking for a while. You listened with one ear, too busy sneaking glances at Lance. He was doing the same thing, admiring the silhouette that your dress gave you, the way your hair was framing your face, your slightly parted lips. He surprised himself and started daydreaming about how it would feel to push you against the wall, lifting one of your legs while he stunned you with kisses all over your face.
Lance was pulled out of his fantasy when your brother said it was time to go.
“Bonne chance, Lance,” you wished him good luck shyly, then followed your brother out of the paddock. Oh, your massive crush was so back.
He watched you leave, mesmerized by you, your presence, the way you carry yourself. You were no longer an awkward teen, but a beautiful young woman.
“Poor girl. You know she had a crush on you for years, right? Good on her for moving on.” Lawrence said to his son, sighing. “She really has a heart of gold, and she’s way too bright for her own good. The man who will have her heart will be a lucky man. A very lucky man indeed.”
Later during the day, you received a message from Lance. This was unusual. The last time he had texted you was to wish you a happy birthday three months ago.
Hey kid, it’s me.
You replied quickly, not wanting to bother with pretending to be too busy to answer. When it came to Lance, you were too weak to play hard to get. Also, this afternoon was the first time he had shown signs that he did not see you as your brother's sister, but as a pretty girl. You would be a fool not to jump at the opportunity, if the opportunity came.
Hi, what’s up?
Have you eaten yet?
Yeah, why?
Let me bring you some desert.
What???
Text me your address. Nvm I got it.
Lance, what’s going on?
He didn’t answer after that. Realizing that he was probably on his way, you started tidying up your appartement. It was pretty neat already though, so you mostly did it to distract you. From the corner of your eye, you saw his hoodie and quickly threw it in your wardrobe. If he did come to your place, this was the kind of things that he should not see, like your F1 calendar from last year that was still hung up to the month of January, because he was the picture of the month. But why the hell would Lance show up at your door?
A knock on the door made you jump. You opened it to find Lance on your doorstep, carrying a bag.
“Hey, I brought you a sweet treat”, he announced, letting himself in. You were too shocked to speak. Chat, is this real? He noticed your appearance. You were wearing a silk nightgown. “Are you ready for bed already?” he asked, confused.
Finally, he seemed real enough for you to gain back the ability to speak.
“Uhhh, yeah?”
“What are you, 90? It’s not even 9 yet!”
“So what? I like to be comfortable,” you responded, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
He stared at you and your short nightgown, letting his gaze linger on the sight that was the strap sliding of your left shoulder. He wanted to leave a kiss on that exact spot.
“No, no, you’re good, I just expected you to be ready to go out or something,” he said laughing, while walking in your apartment. “You got a nice place.”
“Thanks,” you replied. “Why did you expect me to go out?” You followed him around in your apartment. It was weird to see him there, but he looked so good in his Boss hoodie that you let it slide for now.
“Gee, uh, I don’t know, maybe because it’s a Thursday night and you’re young and in Montreal?” he answered like you had asked the dumbest question. He finally settled in your kitchen, leaving the box he was carrying on the counter. “Where are your plates?”
“Over here,” you opened the cabinet door at the same time he made a move to grab the doorknob, leaving him towering over you. The last time the two of you had been so close was before puberty. Internally, you were screaming. He grabbed two plates.
“What did you bring? And what are you doing here?” you asked, trying to hide the affect that his proximity had on you. “And I do go out, sometimes.”
“Having dinner with my dad and your parents doesn’t count. I bought you your favourite tiramisu, from that Italian restaurant you always dragged us to when we were kids.”
You rolled your eyes at him. “Don’t worry, I do go out to shake my ass.” He raised an eyebrow at that, his eyes widening a little. You hoped he was imagining you in a tight dress, dancing in the club. You got out two spoons and a knife out of your cutlery drawer. “Thanks for the sweet treat, but why though?”
Lance opened the box to reveal a gorgeous tiramisu. He was right, this dessert really was your favourite, specifically the recipe they used at this restaurant. You both sat on the stools hidden underneath your countertop. “Can’t a guy do something nice?” he said sarcastically.
You looked at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Lance, come on, be for real. We haven’t seen each other in years, then you show up unannounced at my place.” You cut the dessert and placed it on your respective plates.
He put his hand in the air: “What! I have no bad intentions, I swear. I just thought you could use some sugar.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. Against your wish, you let out a small moan as you took your first bite out of the tiramisu. It really was that good. You turned beet red and surprisingly, so did he. Cute.
“Lance, you know I used to have a crush on you, right? But that was years ago, so if you expect me to fall at your feet and sleep with you, you’re in the wrong place, buddy.” This was a lie. He could have you anywhere he wanted, and you would say thank you.
His eyes shuttered a little when he took his first bite. “I’m flattered that you used to have a crush on me, but also a little insulted. How come you don’t have one right now? And is your opinion of me so low that you believe I could really use you like that?” He really did look insulted.
You took another bite of the tiramisu, this time fulling embracing the moan coming out of your mouth. He looked positively flushed now.
“Lance, I saw the way you looked at me earlier. It was like you finally realized I was a grown woman now.”
He took a bite, and he let his head fall back a little. So two can play this game. You were feeling hot all over. It was like a tennis match between the two of you, a duel. All of this over a sweet treat.
“It’s true that you made quite the impression on me earlier. It must be the lack of braces,” he said sarcastically.
You made a show of licking your spoon when you finished your portion. He looked jealous of the spoon.The ball is in your court, sir.
“Oh really? It wasn’t my curves that my dress showed off nicely, or how long my legs looked with those heels? It’s weird, every other guy there seemed to notice my body. I even got the number of an engineer. I think I’m going to go out with him, I might even sleep with him, all that good stuff.” The look on his face was priceless.
It seems you had won this round. He didn’t touch his tiramisu, only bit his bottom lip. He was blushing hard but wanted to maintain his poker face.
“None of these things crossed my mind,” he answered, though it was a very obviously fake answer. He seemed to be having trouble breathing. It was very good for your ego. If your seventeen years old self could see you right now, she’d be proud.
You hit him with quite the shot when you picked up some tiramisu with your spoon off his plate. The simple gesture had quite the effect on him. His gaze followed your spoon from his plate to your mouth. In your face, sir.
“That’s too bad. I wanted you to notice them,” you said innocently.
He did not take this shot well, and immediately went into attack mode. He pulled your stool closer to his and started massaging your calf. He was not playing anymore.
“Don’t worry, kid, I can see them very clearly now.” He stared at you and the generous cleavage your nightdress gave you. The innuendo in his eyes was very clear. You could cut the tension in the room with the same knife you had cut the dessert with.
You moaned softly. This time, it had nothing to do with the tiramisu, and everything to do with the way his hand was slowly getting higher and higher on your leg. Yeah, it was over. He definitely won the match.
You looked at his eyes, which were now a nice shade of bedroom eyes. You felt all the hesitation you had leave your body, and so did your judgement.
“Lance. I really want to have sex with you right now.” How embarrassing to say this out loud. But it wasn't your fault, really. His face and the tiramisu were a deadly combo.
He smirked at your admission. “I thought you said I shouldn’t expect to sleep with you earlier.”
You responded quickly. “Screw what I said. Wait, no, screw me instead,” you leaned from your stool to pull his hoodie off.
He let you take it off, but he was wearing a shirt underneath. He smirked. “In a hurry?”
“Yeah, and for a guy that drives fast for a living, you’re slow as hell.” He laughed at that, and you took off his shirt too. It was sight to be seen. Niagara Falls is nothing compared to Lance Stroll shirtless. He should be on Canadian postcards instead of Lake Louise.
“Don’t worry kid, I can go fast if need be.” You were getting very turned on, and he had not even made a move yet. “So that means you’ll sleep with me?” You leaned to give him kisses all over his neck. 10 years of wanting him made you desperate like that. He shivered at your touch, and he felt your smile against his neck. How flattering to get a reaction out of him. He gently lifted you off your stool and picked up you like a doll so you could sit on his lap. You immediately resumed your activity and went back to kiss his neck, occasionally leaving a mark.
“You seem to want it so bad, and I wouldn’t want to disappoint you. Our friendship means the world to me,” he said, teasing you.
“Uh uh. Can we add “with benefits” to the title of our friendship? Because I really want to get to the benefits right now.” You said in between hickeys. He was holding your waist to keep you close. How you both fitted on that tiny little stool, you had no idea, but this stool was now considered blessed in your mind.
“Since you asked so nicely. Your brother told me you had a boyfriend though.” His grip on you tightened.
“He’s not my boyfriend, and I don’t care about him. He’s probably in a bar somewhere, talking to other women, which is fine, since we are not together.” It was his turn to give you attention. He made a trail of kisses all over your neck and jaw, stopping near the corner of your mouth.
“That’s good. Do you have sex with him sometimes?” he asked possessively, which was very unlike him. Lance had never shown an interest in you, and he now wanted to know who you were sleeping with.
“Yeah.” It’s hard to form complete sentences when your crush of the last 10 years is busy leaving marks all over your neck.
“Is he any good to you?” He stopped to look you in the eyes, but kept you distracted by playing with the strap of your nightdress.
“I guess. But I hope you will change my opinion of what is good sex and what is bad sex.” You put your hands behind his neck and started kissing him. It quickly turned into a make out session. He tasted like tiramisu. This was an Oscar worthy kiss. A painting should be made to commemorate the moment. A page in history books should be dedicated to it. Still kissing you, Lance stood up and lifted you with him.
“Where’s your bedroom?” You must have done something good recently. You felt like one of God’s favourites.
You did not sound like yourself when you answered, “The next door to your right.” It was a very surreal moment. He opened the door and gently put you down on your bed. He was standing up, shirtless, and it looked a lot like the teenage fantasy of him you had for years.
Your hair was spread all over the pillow, and your nightdress had ridden up. Playboy magazine would have loved you back in the days. “You’re gorgeous. You look like an angel,” Lance said. “How come I’ve never noticed it before?”
You blushed. “You were too busy thinking of me as a sister.” Your propped yourself on your elbows to get a better look at him. The sight took your breath away. “Don’t move, I’m taking a mental picture of you. You look so fucking hot right now.”
It was his turn to blush. “Thanks.” He pulled you by your ankles so you could sit on the edge of the bed. He then got on his knees, and ladies and gents, that nearly did it for you. You felt very, very hot. His hand slid under your nightdress so he could take of your underwear. It was hard to remember to breathe.
“Gosh, are we in porn movie or something? No guy has ever gotten on his knees for me before, but they sure as hell expect me to.” You said, laughing in embarrassment at your lack of experience.
“Boys are stupid.” All of Montreal probably heard you when he first touched you with his tongue. It was too much: his touch, the sight of him between your thighs, the grunts he made, you had to grip the sheets to stay still. By the noises he made, he seemed to enjoy himself too.
It took an embarrassing short amount of time for you to shake and scream in pleasure. No guy had ever made you come so quickly, and it had never felt as good. Sadly, it would probably never feel so good ever again. He got out from your nightdress and smirked when he saw you panting.
“You’re the one out of breath, huh?” He licked his lips, and you nearly came again.
“Shut up” was all you had to say. Lance laughed: “Real mature.” He once again took you by the ankles, this time to push you back to the center of the bed. He got on top of you.
“Is this the part where you get inside of me?” He smiled. “You’re so eager. It’s cute. The Aston Martin cap you have is cute too,” he said, referencing the baseball cap on your dresser.
“It’s for Alonso,” you replied, blushing. Lance smirked and whispered in your ear “Yeah, right.” He started kissing your jawline. The whole block probably heard you moaning. Having him on top of you felt so good. Your nails were probably hurting him from how hard you were gripping his back, but he didn’t complain. “Too bad it’s not him in your bed right now.” You shut him up with a kiss.
“Please, Lance, you have to get in me,” you whined. You unzipped his pants and palmed him. “Please, please, please.” He was making pained noises too, and he got out a condom from his pocket. So he had come to your place expecting to get laid. You decided to put the thought aside for now.
You stopped thinking anyway the second he got inside of you. The feeling was nearly overwhelming, and every time he moved, you couldn’t help but moan.
“Lance, goddam, why didn’t we do this earlier?” you asked between screams. He seemed pleased. You arched your back and it was his turn to let out grunts. “Well, we’re doing it now,” he sounded in pain.
“You’re going to ruin me for every other guy”, you complained. Not long after, Montreal heard you scream his name as you came undone for the second time that evening. He copied you a short while later. Both of you were panting, too stunned by what just happened. It was definitely the best sex of your life, but you were too shy to ask him if it was any good. You hoped it was.
You were just about to ask him if he wanted to spend the night when he suddenly got up.
“What are you doing?” you asked, confused. He pulled his pants back up and zipped them. “I gotta go. Don’t tell anyone we did this.” You pulled yourself to sit against your headboard. You wanted to cry. “Are you serious?”
All he said was: “Yeah, I am. I’ll see you around.” And he left, leaving you speechless in the bed where he just had you. When you heard the door close on his way out, you broke down in tears. How could he be so cruel? He had just used you, ruining years of friendship for this. You felt hurt and humiliated.
After a few minutes of crying hysterically, you suddenly could not stand having his smell on your sheets. It was nearly midnight, but you started ripping them off your bed, and you threw them in the washing machine. There were signs of his passage everywhere in your apartment, and it hurt too bad. You started cleaning manically, from scrubbing the floor to washing your entire silverware. After, it was you who needed to be rid of him. His touch lingered on your skin. You scrubbed your skin until it turned red and shampooed your hair about 5 times. As expected, you broke down crying in the shower. Lance was your friend; he had been since you were kids. Did none of that matter? Were you just a quick fuck to him? A one-night stand that did not even last a night?
You didn’t recognize him. He was such a kind soul. How could you ever face him again? And the fact that he asked you to not tell anyone? The worst thing is, you knew you would never tell anyone, because the humiliation would be too bad.
Eventually, you passed out in exhaustion on the couch. You had to attend the whole weekend, otherwise it would be suspicious, since people expected you to be there. You put on your best dresses, your brave face and you showed up Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. You talked with Lawrence, hanged out with your brother and some friends, you even made small talk with some of the drivers. Your heart hurt like a bitch the whole time, but at least you managed to avoid Lance. That engineer who gave you his number came to see you again, and you made plans for later in the week. Any distraction was welcome.
By the late afternoon on Sunday, you had had enough. You felt tired, heartsick and exhausted after a weekend of fake smiling. Leaving was the only thing you wanted to do. Perhaps you should book a vacation, give your heart a break. Or at least get extremely drunk with your friends. Maybe do both.
You were hiding in a corner, waiting for your brother when a shadow appeared. It was Lance, of course, towering over you. Immediately, your heart started beating fast. Stupid heart. His hair was all ruffled and he was sweating lightly. He had the same look when he was on his knees for you.
“Hey, kid,” he sounded so casual, like nothing had happened between the two of you, like he didn’t have half of your heart.
“Allô. Good job on the race today.” You hoped your voice was not trembling. You did not even attempt to look at him in the eyes, afraid of revealing your pain. The guy you had liked for years made you feel wanted then crushed you in a matter of hours. Of course, that didn’t seem to matter to him.
He put his hand under your chin to force you to look at him, then caressed your cheek with his thumb. “Thanks. Listen, I hope you did not expect anything more than what we did last night. I’m leaving Montreal soon anyway.” Tears started to sting your eyes, but you tried your best to hide them, but Lance was not a fool.
“Not at all. This was just a one-time thing.” You smiled, but tears were running down your cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb.
“You’re cute when you lie. I’ll see you around.” Lance kissed your cheek, then left you in shock, hiding in the corner. His gaze did not betray any sign of regrets. Your heart was shattered in million tiny pieces that he could crush between two fingers. It was cut into bite-size pieces that he could eat, like that damn tiramisu.
That night, you went home and tried to drown any thoughts of him with ice cream and sad music. It did not work.
A few glasses of wine in, your phone buzzed. It was the man of the hour.
I’ll be at your place in 10.
Against your better judgement, you opened the door to him in your cutest nightdress with mascara tears running down your face. He didn’t bother with tiramisu this time. Nor did he the next time. And the next time.
To be used by him was better than not having him at all.
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hazelfoureyes · 2 days
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Could you write a short story about a trans FTM Y/N coming out to alastor?
If not I don't mind!
I'm just starting to come out to some people and want to feel validated by alastor lolll
Mon Cher
You had to start somewhere. But the issue with these kinds of conversations is there’s never a natural point in talking to bring it up…. And sitting people down can be so stressful for everyone.
But you had an opportunity. 
Alastor was known for his pet names, often throwing out a dear or sweetheart.
So when he leaned against your side and asked, “Pass me that, will you ma chère?” You froze. Finally. The frustratingly gendered nature of languages was coming to your aid.
“Alastor, I’m not comfortable with being called ma chère. Can you call me mon cher?”
His face stilled, a moment of confusion. “That’s the word for males, dear.”
“Yeah. I know.” A nervous shift in your seat, “Actually, with all things. I prefer he or him and other male coded words. Those are the right words for me.”
Humans have been changing the way they were identified since humans invented ways to identify each other. Not a moment in time has there existed a point where every human language fully represented its people. Nor that every body was reflective of the soul it inherited. 
So Alastor didn’t need long to adjust. He knew quite a few dapper lads in his day who had made the same request.
“Of course mon cher. May I have that pen now?”
After you handed it over he let the tip hover over his paper for a second, without looking up, “Did you want to talk anymore about things?”
After thinking for a moment, “Do you think I’ll struggle with telling the others?”
He replied as he began his work, slowly, mostly for show, “Do you want to tell them?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you won’t have an ounce of trouble. I guarantee it.” He looked up now, typically disheartening smile looking soft and gentle, “I’ll make sure of it, mon chéri*.”
Before the silence went on too long and he knew the topic would be changed he added, “Did you know Rosie makes custom suits? Quite the skilled seamstress. Perhaps we could stop by sometime. If you’d like.”
Not only had he truly meant the offer, you found telling him had brought a different kind of help. Sometimes you didn’t have to tell people at all once someone was there to set the new standard. 
A day soon after came when Alastor addressed you appropriately in public, “Well that’s too bad Charlie, I need his help with some studio work.”
And the crew looked at you, and you smiled, and they smiled and the conversation would carry on as normal. The only change being a few words replaced a few others and you got a small pat on the back as Husk left the group to tend bar.
Sometimes the first steps are the hardest but get us the furthest. 
Happy pride babies! made this very first steps for many people and I hope it was something you enjoyed. Apologies for the delay, i actually didn’t see this until about four days ago.
*“Mon cher” means “my dear”, said to a male person. “Ma chère” means the same, said to a female. “Mon chéri”, resp. “ma chérie”, means “my darling” or “my dearest”.
🏳️‍🌈Hazbin Masterlist🏳️‍🌈
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padfoot-lupin77 · 2 days
Text
This might have been discussed before but I haven’t seen it anywhere so: the comedy potential of the Night Nurse staying at the dead boy detective agency is absolutely insane. She knows little about the human world. And she doesn’t like any of the people she now has to work with. Absolute Chaos dialogues under the cut cause this post would be too long otherwise
Night Nurse: *knocks on Crystal’s door*
Night Nurse: Who the fuck is Charlie?
Crystal: you mean Charles?
Night Nurse: No- I know who Charles is, little girl.
Crystal: don’t call me th-
Night Nurse: it was Charles, in fact, who asked if I know about that Charlie and some angels of his. I know all about angels, was this ghost boy mocking me?
Crystal:
Crystal: Charles fucking Rowland didn’t Edwin tell you that the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ thing was a bad idea?
Night Nurse: *deep breath* aright if we have to work together I suppose it would be good to get to know each other
Night Nurse: so, how long have you two been together?
Charles: uh-
Edwin: we’ve been best mates ever since I… escaped hell the first time, around the time Charles died.
Night Nurse: *nods skeptically*
*later that day*
Night Nurse: so your name is Jenny?
Jenny: yes. If I understand correctly you’re an immortal being from the afterlife… or something?
Night Nurse: an eternal transdimensional being but I wouldn’t expect anyone to know the difference
Jenny: great, more supernatural stuff. Just what we needed.
Night Nurse: so, Jenny, you seem to me like the most normal around here.
Jenny: a sentence I never expected to hear, but go on.
Night Nurse: can you inform me what the phrase “best mates” means?
Jenny: seriously? Okay, from what I get it’s the British way to say best friends
Night Nurse: like, a couple?
Jenny: no, like best friends. Two very good friends.
Night Nurse: I’m sorry, I must have got this wrong somehow?
Jenny: clearly. What’s confusing?
Night Nurse: the Edwin boy said he and Charles are best mates but they seem too close with each other?
Jenny: *laughs* yeah, I thought so too. But sometimes friends are very close too. Not that I would know.
Night Nurse: and what makes a close friendship different from a… relationship?
Jenny: honestly, I think you’ve got the wrong person for these questions, I have no idea
Night Nurse: humans don’t make any sense
Night Nurse: I don’t think this will work, I’m going to get my own apartment.
Crystal: and how are you going to do this, exactly?
Night Nurse: I will go whichever local office is responsible for this type of transfers and get whatever papers necessary. I’ve spent all my time doing paperwork, how different can human paperwork be?
Edwin, under his breath: you have no idea
Night Nurse: In fact I will go right now.
Crystal: should we tell her?
Charles: Nah, let her find out the hell that is human-world paperwork
Charles: but this Night Nurse sabotaged our case!
Edwin: I know, just hold on a minute because I just had a most brilliant idea.
*whispers at Charles the plan*
Charles: you’re a genius, mate.
Edwin: I know, now let’s tell Crystal.
*the next day*
*knocks on the Night Nurse’s door*
Charles: hello miss Night Nurse
Crystal: we have brought you a present
Edwin: yes, we- ahem, we realized you were right…
Charles: *trying not to laugh* and we have brought this present to apologize
Night Nurse: that’s… nice of you kids… let me see
Night Nurse: *opens the box*
Night Nurse: *sees a fish tank with an angler fish identical to the one that swallowed her in ep 4*
Night Nurse: you. You evil, demon children how dare you
Edwin, Charles and Crystal all burst out laughing
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kel-lance · 1 day
Text
The New Kid? 🙄😒 (Yandere!?Yuta x Reader)
Warnings: Wrote this months ago and don’t want to reread or fix it up but I feel there should be some warnings though I wouldn’t really know what they’d be other than lying?
- you want to hurt him, ever since you met him, ever since rika hurt your friends to defend this pos who just happens to be gojo sensei’s family. You realize you’re obsessed with him after the 2nd month of not being able to drop it.
- with panda and toge teasing you in front of yuta bc we all know on your crush on maki but she think’s you’re all joking and to stop making fun of her.
- When the truth drops you try to leave immediately to not get everyone else involved with rika but she grabbed your hair and pulled you up, she’s thinking of what she’ll do to you
- Yuta tells her to stop which surprises you all
- He takes off his ring and tells them to watch Rika while you two talk
- You try to leave again but this time he actually has a grip on you
- You’re scared, does that mean all this time he was holding back and just teasing you? you felt humiliated, you hated him so much you start crying into his chest
- He holds you nicely and you realize he does actually care, no one would hold someone like that and say those things but you tell him outright you don’t like him near maki and you hated the fact you keep toying with Rika because a girls love is precious and how could he have toyed with you this whole time?
- he said it was the only time you’d give him more attention so he was okay with it. he’s around maki bc he’s never around girls in general because of rika but bc maki’s also your bsf he wanted to know about you. He kept saying things that made the pieces fit together but you just couldn’t trust him still. You don’t want to go on with him as your classmate, you start to think of how you’ll be moving which freaks yuta out. where which who? why?
- You shove him off of you, for ruining what you tried so hard to make for yourself, and he just comes in. Maki felt the same but they bonded, met while i was on a lengthy mission. I was so pissed Gojo didn’t tell me until after, that ass.
- You try to move for the door but he takes a step out blocking your path. You look at the window and he grabbed your hand again, telling you to stop yelling at you to stop until you finally did, and you broke down again just yelling i hate you at him until you just start to wail into him.
- You cry and cry and cry until youre so tired you apologize. You don’t know what time it is but he’s still holding you. “Why do you want to speak to me about that so bad isn’t this enough u sick fuck?”
- He holds you tither and smiles his usually bright smile and says “Because you see me for who I really am. Rika, Maki, Toge, Panda, even Sensei all see me as weak, nice, a regular person. But you were on guard the moment you saw me, not like the rest of them because of Rika’s CE, but because of my own mind. You know exactly what i’m doing, what i;m thinking. Its like we’re one.”
- What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck you wish for once you weren’t right. He’s a guy, he’s a guy and he’s the same as all of them you had to go. Your crush for him was confused, your excitement, arousal, mixed with how scared you were paralyzed you as you could only stare into his eyes that darkened. He kisses you.
- “Do You want to keep up this act? Being mean to me in public. Then I’ll be as equally mean back when we’re alone?” He locked eyes with you, both showing each other faces you’ve never seen before. Your strong, rude personality was shaken by his secretly abusive side. One hand on the small of your back, pulling you in closer to him as he didn’t wait for an answer, he kept leading the kiss, drawing out each one, creating an itch.
- There was something itching on the inside, this kiss made you feel everything but still empty, you were a mess by the end and could barely think straight as you let his hands lightly grip and explore your body. This was so confusing you were wishing it were over so you could talk to him, the him you’ve all seen, not the one you made up in your head, that turned out to be real.
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kymerawrites · 5 hours
Text
Sugar daddy Simon x OC
Ghost was sat in a room with his team while they were being debriefed about their next mission. His attention was dragged away from his captain speaking once he felt his phone vibrate insistently in his pocket. He pulls it out, already irritated at the interruption and ready to hang up when he sees the contact name. Shym. Ah, hell. He can never resist shym is his only real weakness.
He excused himself and stepped out into the hallway where he answered the call. “ Hey, sugar. “
He leaned back against the cold wall. He missed her so much, it’s been a while now since they were last together. He wanted nothing more than to see her face even if it’s through the phone. That’s why he never let her send him pictures, in case he lost his phone. “ I’m sorry for not calling earlier.” He said lowly, his English accent slightly thick now with his tiredness.
“It’s fine Simon, never apologize for keeping the world safe.” I laughed
That’s the reason why he loved her so much. Even though she doesn’t know what he does she still understood and respected it. She never pushed him for answers, never nagged him while he was gone and was still by his side when he had his bad days. He chuckled lowly. “ Have you been behaving? “ He asked with a teasing smirk.
“Hmmm, give me an example?”
His smirk widened. He could practically see her pout through his phone and just the image of it made his chest feel tight. “ Have you been taking care of yourself, eating and sleeping well? I haven’t been there to make you. “ He replied.
“I’m doing amazing, the girls are going shopping today, sort of challenge but I’m not participating.”
He hummed and crossed one foot over the other. He hated hearing about her being with the girls, especially when he knew how rowdy they got. Just imagining her in a club or bar with drunk men circling her made that possessive feeling in his chest grow. “ Oh yeah. And why aren’t you going?” He asked, his voice a bit lower.
“They have this challenge, ask their partners for a creditcard and go on a shopping spree.”
He raised a brow at that. He wasn’t surprised that those girls came up with something like that, but the thought of Shym doing it rubbed him the wrong way. “ And you’re staying home because you know I’d never give you my credit card. “ He mumbled.
“No not at all, ofcourse I need some new clothes, want to look all dolled up for you when your back, but I should do that with my own money.” I mumbled
That made him freeze. Now he imagined her dressed up pretty for him and it sent a flare of want and need to his chest. He clenched his jaw and shifted on his feet, trying to ignore the thoughts that suddenly filled his mind. “ Don’t worry about looking dolled up for me. “ He muttered in a tight voice. “ I’d rather take the clothes off of you anyways. “
“Some new lingerie would help with that won’t it? Change of scenery” I whispered
He bit back a curse at her words, trying to keep his voice steady. “ And why is it that you want that all of a sudden. “ He said, even though he already knew the answer. The images filling his mind were sending a slow wave of heat through his body, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Oh baby, haven’t you forgot that the knife play you do torn a lot of my lingerie and clothes” bastard I thought
A smirk tugged at his lips. He knew she was a bit miffed about him damaging her clothes and lingerie. But that just made him smile more. “ I’ve noticed you complaining about it too. “ He stated, keeping his tone calm. But he couldn’t help but tease her a bit, his voice lowering into a low whisper. “ But when it’s happening you don’t really protest now do you?”
He could practically her blush through the phone at that tease, his smirk growing more now. His hand moved up to the back of his neck and rubbed it absently. She was too easy to tease sometimes. “ You like it don’t you, sugar. “ He said, his voice coming out more rough now. He couldn’t stop the images that filled his mind as he spoke, they were starting to effect him too now.
“ You like when I leave marks all over you. “ He continued quietly. “ Leaving you all bitten and bruised in the shape of my hands. “ He knew they were both getting effected by his words. He could hear her breath hitch slightly on the other line and it made his pants tighten in response, biting his lip under his mask.
“ You don’t complain when I rip through your clothes to touch your body. “ He said, his voice barely a whisper now from the huskiness of his voice. He wasn’t sure he could stop the words even if he wanted to. Her soft breaths against the phone was making his chest tighten with need. “ When I use my knife to- “ he stopped himself before his voice got too ragged.
“Amex gold in the 3rd drawer, buy some nice stuff.” He said out of no where
Ghost froze, his mind momentarily distracted from his own lust and his smirk faltered slightly. Was he really giving her his credit card? He didn’t have to. She certainly didn’t need it. But when he thought about it, his eyes darkened. The thought of her buying something with his money and wearing it had his blood heating. He took a slow breath in, trying to push down the possessive feeling in his chest.
“ Are you sure about that sugar? “ He muttered, moving his hand to his jaw and rubbing the skin there. He knew he should be telling her no. But that damn possessiveness he had was making him hard to think clearly. He wanted her in his clothes and in his things.
A grin formed on my face “I’ll make sure I’ll look perfect when you come back.”
A shiver went down his spine at her soft reply. He could practically see that cheeky grin on her face. And he hated the fact the the thought of her in anything of his was making him needy and wanting. She was going to be the death of him. “ Don’t tease me, sugar. “ He muttered, his voice coming out as a near growl.
I laughed “go back to your debrief baby, I’ll talk to you soon.”
Ghost couldn’t keep the grumble from leaving his throat as she ended the call. He was going to be useless in the debrief now. His mind had now been filled with the image of her buying clothes with his credit card. It was almost like she did this on purpose. He put his phone away and took a moment to compose himself before heading back to his debrief.
He was definitely turned on. But he tried to force it down as he walked back into the room. His captain picked up the conversation but he barely even heard it. His mind was filled with thoughts of Shym spending his money, wearing his clothes. It was driving him insane thinking of it.
And I went crazy on my shopping, but kept it on a limit. 5k max, the poor man’s credit shouldn’t become a issue in the future.
I got a facial, new hairstyle, shoes, clothes, makeup and the cherry on top expensive lingerie.
Despite only having a limit on the credit card, it didn’t take long for the charges to appear on his account with every purchase she made.
He groaned when he pulled out his phone to check his credit card usage and saw all the transactions. 5k was gone within an a few hours. But he couldn’t deny that he liked it. She was using his money and buying things they both would enjoy. He bit his lip as he checked how much he had left and decided it wasn’t a problem. He could just ask for an increase if he really needed to.
But the fact that she had just spent 5k on makeup, shoes etc. made him smirk. His mind immediately went to imagining the amount of things she would buy with a higher limit. But he couldn’t let himself dwell on that at the moment. He had a meeting to go to and his captain would notice his distracted state if he didn’t compose himself quickly.
That evening he FaceTimed me, still with his mask on and getting ready for bed, we had a little timezone difference as I was in New York and he was in Chile on a mission
“Enjoying the summer weather right now in chile?”
He was in the room they gave him for the mission. He had just finished changing into some clean clothes after a long debrief and was just sitting down on his bed, checking his phone. He chuckled at her words and leaned back, laying against the headboard. “ You could say that. “ He replied as he shifted on his bed, getting comfortable. “ The heat wave has been a pain to deal with while in the field. “
I scoffed “English lads cannot deal with shite, when can I finally take you to my parents in the Seychelles without complaints?”
He rolled his eyes as she teased him, knowing full well that he absolutely hated the heat. It was ironic given that the first place she wanted him to go to was to her parent’s villa in the hottest place in the world. “ Never. “ He replied. “ Can your parents even handle me, sweetheart? “ He shot back teasingly.
He could tell by her expression that she was pouting at his response. He chuckled at that and felt a pang of wanting in his chest. He missed her face. “ Stop pouting love. “ He chastised, his voice quieter now. “ Can’t believe you’d rather take me to a hot sunny island than a cold snowy one. “
“You want exotic, you get exotic!” I exclaimed. “Wait let me turn on my camera, look at my hair!”
He groaned in response, already knowing that she was just taking the piss now. “ exotic huh? “ He retorted, shaking his head in fake disappointment as he watched her turn on her camera. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the new look, his eyes darkening as he took in the new colour. “ Well… looks good. “ He said, his voice coming out a bit strangled.
His pupils dilated quickly, his hands clenching into the sheets. He didn’t expect her to do that so suddenly. “ Christ… “ He mumbled, his voice coming out in a rough whisper. “ You’re cheeky… “ he said, his tone slightly scolding as he swallowed hard.
He could feel himself growing hard from the brief view and he growled softly in frustration. “ Shouldn’t have done that when I’m not there to touch you sugar. “ He hissed, his grip getting tighter on the bedsheets.
I started to touch my bra “means you need to come back fast.”
His eyes followed your hands as you started to touch your bra. He wanted to touch it. “ You’re not making it easy. “ He grumbled, shifting on the bed and grabbing his mask. “ You’re being naughty when I can’t even touch you. “
He pulled his mask off and raked a hand through his hair, trying to push back the lust building in his body. His eyes were dark as he looked at her. “ You’re being extra cheeky, sugar. “ He said, his voice sounding more rough now.
“Send more cash and I’ll behave..” I laughed
He cursed silently in his mind when she said that. He hated how damn easy she could rile him up, and even more how easily she could get him to cave to her demands. He didn’t even hesitate before he quickly logged into his app and transferred more money.
He wasn’t even sure how much he sent as he was too hasty in giving in to her. The second it was transferred, he looked back up at her, his eyes darker than before. “ Should I send more. “ He growled, his voice coming out as huskier than usual.
I smiled and let me camera see my thighs, red pantie with gold chain on my belly “maybe..”
His breath hitched at the sight of her thighs and the red panties. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself. But it didn’t really help. “ You’re going to drive me insane… “ He muttered, his voice coming out as a low growl. “ I bet you bought them with my card as well.”
“All for you baby, you know I’m your sugar.” I whispered
He felt his chest twist at that and his eyes darkened further. “ Too damn sweet for me. “ He grumbled, his gaze roaming over all the exposed skin on the screen.” When I come back I swear I’ll leave your skin bruised.”
He felt the possessive feeling grow in his chest. This wasn’t fair. She was thousands of miles away and he couldn’t even touch her. “ Teasing me when I’m not able to even hold you. “ He growled as he stared at her. “ You’re going to be the death of me, sugar.”
My hands traveled over my belly towards the rim of my panties
His eyes immediately followed the movement of her hands towards her panties and his breath hitched again. He bit his lip, trying to control himself but failing miserably. “ Jesus Christ… “ He muttered, his eyes glued to the screen.
“Can I touch myself for you si?”
He growled when she asked that, his eyes darkening even more. “ Christ…. “ He was struggling to keep his voice in control now, his chest tightening. “ You want to touch yourself for me, sugar? “ He asked, his voice coming out as a gruff whisper.
He ran a hand down his chest, wanting the touch her so badly it was driving up insane. “ Do it. “ He said, his tone commanding now
He leant back against the headboard, getting comfortable as he watched her intently. “ I wish to Christ you were here in front of me. “ He bit out, his voice coming out as a huff.
My finger making circles, aroused, in need of touch, arched back. He saw it all “I miss you too baby.. but I can’t stay dry forever.”
His breath hitched at the sight before him, his mind starting to race at the sight of her arching back. “ God you’re beautiful.” He choked out, his voice strained as he watched her. “ Keep taking your time… I want to watch every movement you make.”
I started to whimper “send some more money baby I’ll give the best show you want..”
He groaned at the sound of her whine but wasted no time sending more money. “ How much more do you want, sugar. “ He growled out, his eyes glued to the screen, watching her movements.
“Make it… it… 1k” I whimpered
He grunted but obliged, sending the money immediately. “ You’re getting spoiled. “ He muttered as he watched her on the screen. “ But goddamn do I like spoiling you.”
He shifted on the bed, his sweatpants starting to get tight with his growing need. His eyes were fixated on her, his hands clenching the sheets tightly. “ Keep going.. “ He encouraged, his voice coming out as a ragged whisper.
He ached to be the one touching her instead of her own hands. His chest felt tight with want as he watched her movements on the screen. “ Tell me what you’re thinking about.” He asked, his voice coming out in a low growl.
“I’m thinking about you, how you should be ripping my clothes now..”
He growled at her words, his eyes darkening even more with possessiveness. “ Goddamn it… Wish I was there to rip those new clothes to shreds. “ He muttered, his grip on the sheets getting tighter.
He shifted slightly on the bed again, his body feeling like it was on fire. “ You wearing anything that’s mine sugar? “ He asked, his voice coming out huskier than normal.
I kept circling and showed my new heels, clear glass and high “I hope you like them..” I started to moan as I became wetter
He growled softly when she showed him the heels. “ I like all the things you bought with my card. “ He said, his gaze darkening as he watched her move. “ But your new moans are the best thing you’ve gotten with my money so far.”
“It’s VIP..” I started to arch again and it became intense “si…”
He groaned at her arching, feeling himself straining in his pants. “ God… “ He muttered out, his body feeling like it was on fire from desire. “ You’re being extra needy when I’m away. “ He said, his voice coming out as a rough grumble.
“I can’t hold it any longer..” I moaned
He felt the need to touch her growing stronger as he watched her on the screen. “ Don’t hold it anymore.” He ordered, his voice coming out as a ragged whisper. “ I want to watch you….”
And I released, I felt hazy hands wet and sticky from myself
He inhaled deeply at the sight of her release, his body feeling like it was burning with need. He wanted to touch her so badly. “ Christ… “ He muttered as he watched her, his eyes darkening further.
He shifted again on the bed, trying to get some relief from the tightness in his pants. “ I wish I was the one giving you that cum. “ he growled out, his voice ragged. “ Goddamn it… “
He clenched the sheets tightly, his body feeling like it was being consumed by her. “ You look so goddamn beautiful when you come. “ He choked out. His eyes were glued to the screen, taking in every movement she made. “
You make me want to break opsec and come home so bad. “ He growled softly, his body feeling like it was on fire.
“Then make sure those enemies are dead in no time. Now go focus on your job I’m tired baby..”
He nodded, reluctantly agreeing with her. “ Fine. “ He huffed out, his body still feeling like it was on fire from desire. “ Get some sleep sugar, I’ll finish up and be home soon. “ He said, his tone coming out gruff and rough.
“Will do Simon, I love you and stay safe..” I gave a kiss trough the camera
He chuckled softly when she gave him a kiss through the camera. “ Love you too, baby. “ He returned the kiss with one of his own. “ I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? “ He said, his tone still sounding a bit rough, but softer now.
He looked at her for a moment, his eyes softening. “ Sweet dreams, okay? “ He said before reluctantly ending the call, his body still feeling like it was on fire with need.
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chaifootsteps · 20 hours
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Still thinking about Viv's claim that she thinks both sides are in the wrong and it's bugging me enough to do a quick episode run down to see how exactly that claim stacks up. Hopefully quantifying a bit more will help see where we're actually at
Ozzies: Between episodes 6&7 Stolas gets a personality transplant and goes from calling Blitzo his 'impish little plaything' and demeaning him to being head over heels for him, calling him by his name and bowing to him. When the car drives away the camera lingers on Stolas crying, though the episode ends on Blitzo and his emotions so we'll call this one even
Queen Bee: We see Blitzo's emotions in the aftermath in the form of a self-destructive bender, but noticeably what he says to Loona is that he's upset that he'll die alone. He doesn't say anything about being upset about feeling used or mistreated by Stolas (he even says his name along with the others before he throws up)
The Circus: Retcons galore backstory about how Stolas and Blitzo were childhood friends and despite using him for sex all s1, Stolas was apparently really in love with Blitzo the whole time?? It doesn't make a lot of sense but go with it. Episode ends with a song where Stolas not only implies Blitzo was somehow lying to him this whole time (Genius.com contributor suggests Stolas believed Blitzo actually loved him, which seems the obvious interpretation of these lyrics) but also makes him out to be a weak victim. He shows no guilt whatsoever for the part he played in making Blitzo feel degraded and used.
What’s between you and I Just a comfortable lie I’m the fool who believes When you look in my eyes
Seeing Stars: Stolas being framed as badass while he's choking his butler and it not being remotely bad on his part that he continues to sexually accost Blitzo in their first meeting after Ozzie's. Any criticisms Blitzo makes of Stolas (not remembering his own spells) are dismissed by Stolas with nonsensical arguments (it's relevant Blitzo can't remember Moxxie's phone number, apparently?)
Exes and Ohs: Stolas isn't in this episode or mentioned at all
Western Energy: Text message exchange after Ozzie's show Stolas giving a non apology where he doesn't actually address the problem, literally doing a 'I'm sorry if something I said or did upset you'. Episode ends on Stolas alone in the hospital where the viewer should pity him that Blitzo didn't come to visit :(
Unhappy Campers: No Stolas!
Oops: Blitzo dismisses the notion that Stolas cares about him by using examples obviously meant to favor Stolas. He is framed as jaded and unreasonable and Fizz is the obvious voice of reason. The imp who hates royalty is called a supremacist, Blitzo is the in between who dislikes Stolas and Fizz - the one who capes for royalty - is presented as in the right
Full Moon: Blitzo again criticizes Stolas, without getting to mention anything specific from s1. He is framed as going too far and tries to apologize. Stolas acts like the deal was a mutual thing even when admitting it was wrong
By my count that's basically no examples in Blitzo's favor. And I imagine if we counted all the Twitter likes from Viv on posts favoring Blitzo we'd turn up a big goose egg there, too
Careful, now! You laid out all the facts and stated them plainly, and we know that that makes a certain subset of fans angry and scared.
Viv can claim that "they're supposed to both be in the wrong" all she likes, but it doesn't mean a thing if every other word of writing in season 2 suggests the opposite. I guess the real test will come in Apology Tour, when we get to see who's actually doing the apologizing.
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arliedraws · 2 days
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WIP it out
Thanks for the tag, @mycupofrum! Here’s a snippet from the Werewolf Pack Leader!Sirius Black fic I started feverishly writing yesterday. Will this be something? God, I hope not. But I can’t get it out of my mind.
His shining black hair was short but slightly overgrown, and there was a faint dusting of scruff over his jaw. He wore a brown, weather-beaten leather jacket over jeans that were stuffed into boots, and although there was a small tear in his shirt and stains on his jeans, he carried an obvious air of nobility that made him look like a poorly disguised prince.
“Well,” said Black slowly. “Who might you be?”
James hoped the werewolves wouldn’t sense his weakness. Their hands were hard on his arms as if they feared he would suddenly wrench free and throttle the pack leader.
“James,” he said. “James Potter.”
“I see. And you’re one of Voldemort’s men, are you?”
“No!” blurted James. Immediately, he felt the hands tighten and heard growls all around at his outburst.
Black grinned. “No?”
“Sorry,” James said quickly. The apology made Black’s gaze dim with bemusement; James grimaced. “I’m sorry, I mean, no. I don’t work for Voldemort.”
“Then to whom do you belong?”
“No one,” said James. The question made him bristle inwardly. He didn’t belong to anyone, not even Albus Dumbledore who had set him this task.
“So you’re here because you’d like to become a werewolf?”
“Er—not exactly.”
Black stepped forward. He was tall, perhaps taller than James, yet he seemed almost like a giant as he approached.
“Too bad,” said Black, his grin softening. “If you don’t belong to anyone yet, you could belong here with my pack. To me.” He reached and patted James’s cheek, his eyes glinting. “But only if you wanted.”
Tagging @impishtubist, @kay-elle-cee, @greyeyedmonster-18, and @thelighthousestale but no pressure (and sorry if you’ve already been tagged!!).
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sterekorgtfo · 1 day
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This may be a niche unpopular ‘What If’ situation of the Daddy Kink convo we all love and what it’s inspired, but What If Tommy couldn’t match Bucks passion?
Buck and Tommy were collapsed on the bed. Buck was very blissfully fucked the fuck out. He had gotten really into the “Daddy” roleplay and was enjoying this new sex life with Tommy. He had egged Tommy on to see how much harder Tommy could fuck him, and Buck wanted to see how much his own hole could handle now that he had been more comfortable bottoming more and more.
Tommy was pressing kisses to Bucks back and rubbing his back and Tommy was checking in asking “Was that good for you? Was that what you wanted? Are you okay?” and Buck was coming down from his high before he realized something was less than happy in Tommy’s tone.
Buck rolled around and quickly caught a small glance of Tommy frowning before he quickly turned it into a smile, but Buck could tell it was performative and there was something wrong in his eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Evan softly inquired with concern as he caressed the strong jaw of his boyfriend.
“Nothing,” Tommy lied with a positive cadence, attempting to hide whatever it was he was keeping from Evan, which didn’t make Evan feel great inside.
“Did I do something wrong?” Evan asked cautiously, which made Tommy visibly wince. Tommy couldn’t stand the thought of Evan feeling like he did something wrong.
“No, baby, of course not, it’s nothing like that,” Tommy quickly tried to reassure his boyfriend, cradling his face and looking deep in his eyes to let him know Evan didn’t do anything to hurt him.
“Then can you please tell me what’s bothering you?” Evan asked softly, doing his best to gently coax Tommy out of his shell he was trying to mask his feelings within.
Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, not breaking eye contact with Evan, but Buck could see Tommy trying to process something on the other side of them.
“You know I respect you, right?,” Tommy said with a strong, assertive emphasis on ‘respect’. “I love you and I see you as an equal, and it’s important to me that you know that.”
“Of course,” Evan replied with growing concern. “Of course I know, babe. You’ve treated me phenomenally. This is by far the best relationship I’ve had. You make me feel comfortable in a way none of my exes ever had.”
Tommy kind of slowly nodded, but it seemed like he couldn’t fully process the words yet. Evan grabbed his hand and that seemed to catch Tommy’s attention and stop him from overthinking.
“Is this about the sex we just had?” Even asked cautiously.
Tommy hesitated for a while Bee letting out a small not and a soft ‘yeah’. “In the past, twinks and twunks only saw me as a big man who only existed to dom them and other men built like me only saw me as competition to keep them away from said twinks.
“I like topping, and yeah, getting hot and heavy even really passionate can be fun, but….”
Evan looked at his boyfriend with concern and sadness, feeling guilty he triggered something painful inside his man for his own fun. Be braced himself for what was about to come.
“Treating you like some…object or toy and fucking you harder than I should have really…made me feel kinda bad Inside….” Evan winced a little at the confession. He didn’t consider Tommy’s feelings just because he was topping and masculine and stronger than Buck. His boyfriend loved romcoms and romance and always treated him like a gentleman. The man said he would match Bucks pace, and Buck never realized it would be possible to out-pace him.
“But I know you were really into it and you kept saying ‘harder’, ‘faster’ and I know you’ve been hinting at getting more bold bottoming and I…You never used the safe words so I knew you were okay, but it was…Kinda hard to put you through that.”
“Tommy,” Evan said with regretful sadness. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t consider any of this and I feel awful I didn’t,” Evan apologized.
“Please, don’t apologize,” Tommy tried to quickly say. “This isn’t on you and I am not blaming you.”
“I know you’re not,” Evan countered. “But I am going to be sorry and apologetic anyways,” Buck said assertively. Tommy was more of a people pleaser then he let on. He made it hard for Buck to ever apologize for things because Tommy would never think Buck did anything wrong. It was endearing as much as it was an occasional obstacle.
“You told me you were okay with being called ‘daddy’ and I ran with it. I never checked what exactly that entailed and what your limits were and I just assumed you’d give all I wanted to take, which was wrong of me,” Buck said. “I got swept up in the appeal of dating a big strong man who was a sexy beast and I expected you to act like one, despite knowing you’re so much more than that.
“So, it’s important to me that you know that I see you as an equal. I love you and I respect you and you are more than my personal meaty manhandler,” Buck said with insistence.
Tommy laughed, but let out the first warm smile he did this whole conversation and it made Bucks heart so much lighter and release so much tension he didn’t know he was holding.
“I do,” Tommy said. “Thank you, Evan. I want to be the type of Daddy that takes care of his boy, not uses him like a toy. Would that be okay with you?”
“Of course it is,” Buck assured. “I know you’re sometimes worried about our age gap, but I don’t only not worry about it, but I’m also not only into you because of it. And if you’re ever feeling doubtful or uncomfortable, our safe words are for you too. Even if you’re the one topping. You deserve to use those too. Promise me you’ll use them when you need them.”
“I promise,” Tommy oathed. “Thank you, Evan. Next few times can we stick with moderately vanilla missionary, and cock riding? I like being able to see your face and kiss you when I need. I’ll be able to handle a few minutes of Doggy, if need be, I just want to…make love to you sometimes, not just fuck you, and Vice-Versa.”
“Of course,” Buck said, leaning in to kiss him deeply. “I’ll never say no to making love with you if that’s what you need.”
They held each other close and buried their faces into each others necks, massaged each others backs, and both enjoyed the comforting supportive embrace of the others’ love.
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antithcsis · 1 day
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Regulus lets out a harsh laugh. “We’re the exact same, you know? Birds of a feather, and all that.”
The words should warm James’ heart, but taken in this context all they do is make his gut churn. “Don’t say that. Don’t—we’re not.”
“How are we not?”
“You kill people, Regulus! What do you mean—”
“And you don’t?!” is yelled back with barely restrained fury that shocks James into silence. Regulus shakes his head, fists clenching and unclenching by his sides. “The only difference is that the people you kill are bad. But bad is subjective, isn’t it? If you think about it, the people I kill are considered bad, too, if only by different standards. We both kill to save ourselves, for the greater good, whatever the fuck you want to call it. But we both kill. So don’t bother with your righteous bullshit, James, because I don’t want to hear it.”
“Righteous bull—that’s not being righteous, that’s just being human! But I guess you wouldn’t know about that, would you.” The second the words leave James’ mouth, he wishes he could take them back. They’re aimed to hurt, said in a reckless second of uncontrolled emotion, clearly hitting their mark going by the way Regulus tenses even further than he already is.
“Is that how it is? Alright James, you win. I’m a horrible, bad, evil person—sorry, thing—and you’re the heaven-sent gift that’s going to save everyone’s lives. I get it.” He starts walking away, despite James’ protests and apologies. “Just do me a favor, yeah? Next time you come to stop me like the hero you are, don’t be so gentle. Because I sure as hell fucking won’t.”
Regulus disappears from one second to the next, leaving James staring hopelessly at the empty space before him and feeling like something was ripped away from him before he ever had the chance to figure out what it meant.
little piece of my jegulus venom au :)
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reverieblondie · 2 days
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So, Astarion is not the best at expressing himself in a healthy manner when he's upset about something and tends to lash out as a result (understandable given everything he has gone through, but understandable is not the same as excusable—it's something he would need to work on in order to have healthy relationships of any kind in the future). One thing I wish the game let us do is point this out to him or confront him about it (both in good and less good ways, because choice is this game's bread and bloody butter); it would have been very interesting to see how he'd react. With all of that said, how do you think he'd react to lashing out at Tav (platonic relationship and/or romantic relationship, but not on bad terms either way) over something that isn't really their fault or because they politely disagreed or something like that, but the instant the words leave his mouth he just sees the hurt fill Tav's expression before they try to end the conversation by just walking away from him (at which point they become rather distant and reserved towards him, though they still make sure he eats). If he immediately tries to backpedal or ends up approaching Tav to apologize after they've been reserved around him for a while, Tav tells him, "Your words didn't hurt me, but you said them with the intention for them to. You wanted to cause me pain. That is what hurt me. That's why I'm upset." then their stoicism begins to crack, and he can see them trying to hold back tears, "What did I do, Astarion? Why did you want to hurt me? What did I do to deserve it?"
I have been sitting on this ask for awhile because Astarion isn’t a character I know much about. I do think he has a great story and his characterization is great but he’s just not one of the companions I have romanticed but I have heard his is one well worth it. Honestly Astarion intimates me to write about because the Astarion girlies LOVE him and I don’t want to mess him up or anger anyone.
But with that said I love this ask because I can see this happening! And I think that this is something Astarion would do I think without fully realizing it, Astarion knows how to manipulate people and it’s his defense mechanism to hurt someone else first before they hurt him. And from everything in his past can you blame him for it? He doesn’t want to hurt anymore so he deflects.
I don’t see Astarion as the backpedaling type he’s the type to walk away and stew on it, I can see him even trying to pull the whole “your still mad darling? Look I’m sorry” But that’s when Tav tells him how much it did hurt how he was so quick to try and hurt them after everything they been through. It’s when Tav asks what they did to deserve that, that causes Astarion to drop his shields.
I’m my mind that’s when Astarion will sigh and open up, he doesn’t reach out for Tav for a hug or a hand hold, but he just lays it all out there. He’s not a good person, he hasn’t been for a very long time but for Tav he wants to learn, he wants to be the person who doesn’t hurt the ones he loves…he doesn’t want to break Tavs trust…just because he has been hurt doesn’t justify for him to hurt others. Tav means so much to him and he understands that Tav doesn’t have to forgive him or anything but he wants them to know that he is going to be someone worthy of Tavs kindness and understanding. He will show it through not only his words but through his actions.
Then it will hopefully led to them reconnecting and being honest, Astarion needs to be with a Tav who is a grade A communicator so when Astarion is feeling hurt they can talk about it in a healthy manner so they can both divulge their thoughts and feelings. Just have patience with him.
Sorry this took so long for me to answer hope this makes sense!
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eyeballsoup7310 · 1 year
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Oh wait. So, if genloss Is about how being a famous content creator can really cause issues, the theory of Charlie getting assimilated into the ‘Security’ wire monster gets a whole lot more… I don’t know, something.
I don’t do analysis or theories very well so bare with me.
GL!Charlie is a fascinating character cuz he winds up kind of gets hit with the most overall. He’s a demon he’s dissected he’s memory wiped and dead. GL!Demon-Charlie is sort of half of the exaggerated version of the online persona many people view him as— silly and dramatic and sometimes kind of vulgar. GL!Patient-Charlie is sort of the other side version of that persona— still just a funny guy but with a bit more of a tired, loopy sort of humor, if that makes any sense. And then GL!Charlie as he is in the final episode is just meant to be him. A human being. Terrified by the terrifying circumstances. Horrified by the horrors surrounding them. A real person with real emotions and real reactions.
And then there’s the Security. A mass of wires with a TV for a head. The physical embodiment of entertainment. When GL!Charlie falls behind, he gets absorbed into that beast. He dies in the name of interest. He literally gets sucked into the content vortex and it kills him. That’s just really interesting to me
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I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”
#it’s soooooo easy#‘hey that thing you said was kind of insensitive’ -> feel awful and apologize immediately ->#try to explain that I’m a flawed human being in hopes that they don’t hate me as much -> realize I’m using it as an excuse -> feel worse ->#want to explain that I feel bad in hopes that it makes my apology sound genuine -> realize if I do I’m starting a pity party ->#Devil on my shoulder says that I SHOULD start a pity party bc then people have to console me even though I’m the one who fucked up ->#realize that if the devil on my shoulder thinks that that some part of me must think that. thinking that is kind of terrible ->#feel like I’m terrible -> start crying -> realize that crying will turn it into a pity party anyway ->#realize that I don’t want to feel like I’m terrible. that I do actually want people to console me -> realize I don’t deserve it ->#admit that I am truly horrible for trying to turn my fuck up into a way to make people comfort me ->#post about it on tumblr to vent (?) -> realize now I’m starting a pity party in front of almost 8k people ->#realize that makes me even worse. -> break down in tears feeling sorry for myself when. again. IM the one who fucked up#repeat at and slight inconvenience or mistake. feel like a piece of shit forever :)#it’s a flawless system. if someone sees me struggling and tries to console me I can redirect that to confirm that I’m a horrible person#try and tell myself that I’m spiraling bc of mental illness -> that’s an excuse ->#excuse = horrible person bc I’m not willing to own up to my mistakes -> return to spiral
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camgoloud · 2 months
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out#so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting
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