#my fingers hurt from typing this

[theravenkin]

been thinking a lot about low-empathy adam parrish (via @parrishwife here and @crimeronan here ) and i'd like to add that i also think ronan is low-empathy, but in a different way, and that this difference is what causes most of the conflict between them (in this essay i will-)

so basically, in very simple psychological terms there are two main sides to empathy. on one side, you've got cognitive empathy- the ability to see things from another person's perspective in an objective manner and understand why they might be feeling a certain way even if you don't feel "for" them; however, you might think that they are overreacting. then there's emotional empathy, which is when you see someone having strong emotions or going through something tough and you feel "for" them, sometimes literally; you might feel nausea or pains in your chest from experiencing someone else in emotional pain, or you might feel elated when someone else is happy or excited. that doesn't necessarily mean, though, that you can see things from that person's perspective; even if you feel for someone, you might not think that they're coming from a place that matters because you can't put yourself in their position. when both of these main types of empathy are present, then you can also have compassionate empathy, which is like both working together- you feel for someone and can see things from their perspective. people with low empathy may struggle with both of the main types of empathy, but some may only struggle with one while maybe being hyper-empathetic in the other type; i'm pretty sure the latter is common among autistic people. i, for one, have very strong emotionally empathetic reactions to things, but i have a really hard time seeing things from others perspectives; so while i may feel really bad for someone, it can be hard for me to understand why they feel bad in the first place.

okay. now. blorbo thoughts.

i think that while adam has an easier time with cognitive empathy (though still struggles with it a bit), he has not developed a very strong sense of emotional empathy at all. whereas, on the other hand, i think ronan is hyperempathic when it comes to pure emotions, but has a very very hard time with cognitive empathy; the way he thinks tends to be more egocentric, meaning it's hard for him to remember that other people don't always think, feel, or process the same way he does (this is what i struggle with, personally, but i think ronan struggles a whole lot more with it).

i could go pulling a bunch of textual evidence, and god do i want to, but lord i ain't got the time. so im just gonna point out a couple things ronan does: he often hugs and comforts people when he feels that they're upset (and he often notices when people are upset before others do, when they're trying to hide it etc) but he doesn't care if these people want to be hugged- he just does it. the only person he doesn't do this with is adam, i think because adam is one person ronan works really hard to understand. ronan also tends to say things without thinking or caring about how they might make people feel, but he still feels so strongly himself (re: bronan "i'm not proud of it" "i'll be proud for you", ronan, read the room). he feels for every dreamer, even those he hasn't met yet, and that empathy drives him so crazy he goes and does a bunch of questionable things in order to try to make things better for people. but he cannot imagine any justification for why adam didn't text him back within a couple hours other than that adam now hated him suddenly (essentially, can't understand how adam doesn't know what ronan is thinking without communicating it).

ronan's inner monologue is very frequently about himself and how he's feeling; when he talks about others, he describes what they say and do and look like, but can't seem to explain how they think or why. adam, in comparison, is constantly psychoanalyzing the people around him, trying to understand why they do what they do and how they tick. part of this is his analytic nature and part of it is the remnants of a survival tactic- the need to understand his abuser, get inside their head, in order to avoid or prevent the next blow. but i think, too, all this analyzing has divorced him from feeling strongly for others, once again, as a survival tactic/coping mechanism- because he believes that as soon as he feels for someone, he becomes them and loses his autonomy. this is only beneficial when dealing with abusers, though. so when he's dealing with his loved ones, adam has to parse through their actions, codify their behaviors and what they mean, and establish heuristics of how they think in order for him to not cross a line and hurt them without meaning to. i feel like i can say more on this but it's late and im tired and i am no psychologist, just autistic and insane about characters

so i think that this difference is a lot of what makes pynch work (the impulse/impulse control dynamic or the right brain/left brain dynamic, but much much deeper and more complex obvs). but i also think that this is where most of their conflict comes from. ronan feels so deeply for and about adam, so much so that he doesn't know how to process it and it eats him alive. but even still, he can't quite understand why adam works the way he does, why his motivations are what they are, why he holds the values he does; usually, ronan just accepts that adam is adam and life goes on, but sometimes ronan gets so frustrated that he can't just accept that adam does things that- to ronan- make 0 sense. (think of the garage fight scene, just before the hand lotion, where ronan tells adam he should just quit school- a pretty tone deaf thing to say, knowing adam, but ronan was getting frustrated and couldn't understand why adam needed to keep working himself to death.) then there's adam, who typically understands where ronan is coming from, but doesn't understand why ronan feels so strongly about things, especially other people- especially him. he struggles to understand why ronan keeps helping him despite being told not to- which is why ronan does things without asking (ie, the rent), because he knows adam won't understand. adam may understand where ronan is coming from, but sometimes he just may not care. he doesn't want ronan to feel badly, but it's hard to motivate yourself to do something about it when you can't understand what the fuss is all about. think about the fight over the green mantle envelope: to adam, it's practical and logical, and he doesn't understand why the whole thing is upsetting to ronan or why he should care- if it gets the job done, doesn't matter how unpleasant the process is. ronan, however, doesn't care as much about practical; he can't understand why adam thinks this is okay, because he has such a hard time understanding that others have different values and priorities than he does.

anyway. this took so long to write. someone please read it and understand what i'm saying.

#i looove psychoanalyzing fictional characters mm mmm yummy #my fingers hurt from typing this #please know i know jack shit about psychology #but i read crimeronan's low empathy adam post before work and thought about this the entire shift #so now here we are #adam parrish #ronan lynch #pynch #character study #the raven cycle #adam parrish meta #ronan lynch meta #the raven cycle meta #the dreamer trilogy #trc #tdt

[erwinsvow]

THEY FINALLY GOT TOGETHER OMGGG THANK U FOR GOT WHAT U WANTED!!!! what about when they actually finally start dating, how would that dynamic be??

ahhhhh i know!!!!!! my babies i feel like they finally have their story the way i wanted it to be, even though i rushed it a little i think its fitting theyre so in love they really couldnt drag it out much longer without the grand confession. and theyre so toxic everyone else in their life is sick of them lying to each other that theyre 'just friends'

omg what a darling question stopppp! i think lots and lots of like, almost forgetting theyre a couple. they always hang out alone, always sleep over, go out to eat etc, so nothing is truly different. i can imagine like neither tell their parents but one day rafe kisses you on his way out of the room and theyre like... um do you have something to tell us?!!?

i think kook trio reader take it a little bit lighter than rafe does, still tries to plan stuff with the boys but gets convinced to roll around in bed with rafe instead. she ofc likes her time with her boys tho so lots of like just random kisses in between swings at golf, they have to yell at rafe to go back and finish his play, even more posessiveness/jealousy but now he can say like 'get away from my girl' while kelce and top just roll their eyes and she stares at rafe at googly cuz she likes her man possessive now that shes actually his

but the long and short of it is that theyre still just best friends and the same clingy people they were before , they can just show off now which they both love <3 esp kook trio reader shes a jelly bitch. loves sitting on his lap at parties and when a girl comes over to buy coke she'll be the one to hand it to her or count the money for rafe

i feel like rafe also is goofy and kelce and top DESPISE it but when they have their beach or boat days and shes in one of her normal bikinis he's all "stop starin' at my girl you freaks. she's taken" and theyre like "you mean our best friend?"

or when she's like "kelce and i are going to see that movie, you wanna come?" he's like "sounds sus. i know you have a habit of falling for your so-called best friends. ill meet you there." fasfkjnj

#this is ass but my fingers hurt from typing and my team is abt to play and im anxious </3 #i hope u like it.. i love u so much #rafe cameron #kook trio reader

[cardansriddle]

there's this tom x muggle!fem reader piece i'm writing and it's almost 5k words??? and I'm not even done with it??? and i don't wanna split it into parts so prepare yourselves for a long one... help

#my brain hurts atp #my fingers are bleeding from typing #not literally but ykwim #tom riddle #tom riddle one shot

[pommy-granite]

it is my Expert Opinion that the sapphic attraction to women with strong hands (archers, swordswomen, etc.) goes way back to prehistory where everyone had the Biggest crush on the best flint knapper of the group and her gorgeous spear points and her calloused hands.....

#who said that #archaeology #in other news. im taking ages to type this bc my fingers hurt a Lot from pressure flaking all afternoon.

[rinmiko]

Elaborate on your NaruMitsu manifesto

okay this will have some spoilers from like most games tbh, there is just so much moments with them together, especially early games

but the main thing for them is that they just trust each other fully and would do absolutely ANYTHING for each other (other than illegal shit ofc)

Like first of all, Phoenix became an attorney to meet Miles in the court. I don’t care if they later changed his reasons to “i wanna help more people who were in the same situation as me” or “Mia inspired me to become a lawyer” cause sure, valid reasons, BUT THE FIRST GAME IS THE BASE GAME. HE WANTED TO MEET HIS EDGEWORTH. A MAN HE HASN’T SEEN IN YEARS. HE WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST, BUT BECAME A LAWYER. Not to mention Phoenix defended Miles against Von Karma to the point where Von Karma fucking died.

Meanwhile in the third game, Miles ends up flying over the whole country just to see if Phoenix is actually on his death bed (Phoenix falls through a bridge into a river and ends up in a hospital for two days. Larry apparently told Miles he was dying.) Like Edgeworth hopped on the quickest flight, thinking that Phoenix was dying or already dead, only to see his man lying in a hospital room, chilling with a cold. (At least they were equal now, Ahem “Miles Edgeworth chooses death” Ahem). During the hospital visit though, the fact that Phoenix gave Edgeworth his badge and told him to be a defence attorney, THE TRUST, like i know Miles has years in being a prosecutor, but still. Even Miles was hesitant. The whole ass hospital scene in general is just the most wholesome shit ever.

But like ofc, it wouldn’t be a good couple without some drama and fucked up stuff. Like i mentioned, Miles chooses death, leaving everyone to believe he committed suicide, only to come back later. Of course Phoenix gives him a cold shoulder, dude was legit just sad and angry whenever Miles’ name was mentioned in the second game.

And also the fact Phoenix lost his badge due to accepting fake evidence into the court, which he had no clue they were fake. (When i saw him as a hobo in the Apollo Justice game, i legit closed the game and didn’t play it for a while cause i had hard time accepting it lmao i was like 13). But also we get to know that Miles actually helps him to get his badge back, doing a shitton of paperwork and court stuff just to get his man his badge back. After that, the gaves rarely mention Miles, but he appears in the games still, doing some sort of business or just meeting up with Phoenix just because.

Like sure you could say they are just very good friends, but the fact that the first game was actually suppose to make them into a yaoi content (since that was very very popular back then and would most likely do good on the market) is also saying a lot. Even though the company wanted the boy love to be p gone from the game, there are just teasing the audience at some points where it’s evident that these two are in love.

“You have saddled me with unnecessary…. feelings..”

#god this was so much more longer than i thought it would be #there are some many other details i would talk about but god my fingers hurt from typing #rinmiko ramble #ask #ace attorney #narumitsu #wrightworth #edgewright

[liddlediddy]

@aquaspiderart 's Pokecémber Day 4: Favorite Water Type

#i think my favorite type is showing #3/4 have been fighting so far & the 4th can be fighting with a drive or whatever #not that proud of this one tbh but I'm glad I'm sticking with this so far. my finger is starting to hurt from these phone drawings lol #pokemon #Pokecémber #keldeo #my art

[aria0fgold]

I don't know what happened when I slept but suddenly all my bones hates me. My right knee hurts, both my forearms hurt especially my left forearm, I'm 24 but I feel 10 years older why is my body like this I just took like-- a 5-6 hour nap and ate but my body went: Ah shit, bone pain.

#aria rants #am typing this a bit slowly and with my left arm leaning on my raised leg cuz it hurts every time i move it #like the pain is from the forearm but travels to my hand and fingers and its like-- i cant say it in english wait lemme search that #MUSCLE FATIGUE! its like muscle fatigue but not from the muscle but from the bones. bone fatigue. my skeleton be rattling i think

[n4mless]

Just finished watching the new qsmp stream and love Elena. But so many thoughts about her and the federation.

First Elena. Did she become Elena in the federation or was she Elena before? In her backstory it seemed like she already looked like the other workers despite not being apart of them yet. (This might just be a consistency thing and it being very unnecessary to make a different Elena just for her to become a white bear) Also so her possibly taking part in unethical experiments and not seeing a problem with it. Her also saying that these experiments lead to big discoveries in science, of which we have a few examples.

1. Happy pills. Anti-depressions are a thing, they may not work well but they certainly don’t do what ever the happy pills do.

2. Hybrid experiments(I don’t know much about this) but from what I do know it was very traumatic and kinda useless? What purpose would a duck hybrid serve to help the federation?

3. Whatever that green thing was in the backstory. It looks like the color of infection to me, but it could be something else.

So the examples we do have both do nothing to help science or people, and cause immense trauma for the parties involved. Also looking back at history unethical experiments often do not lead to anything. First thing that comes to mind is unit 731(one of japans horrific war crimes) and how useless it all was in the end. So I don’t trust her when she says how helpful these unethical experiments will be to science because that sounds like a lie to me.

Now The Federation

Obviously the federation is bad. The unethical experiments, cucurucho’s weirdly violent approach to everything, trapping people on a island and not allowing them to leave. But watching the streams shows a different more goofy side of it, the workers are all friends, they talk and make fun of each other, they slack off on their job. But bad people live very normal lives outside of being bad. (Not saying that every worker is bad, but also so not saying that just because you are forced or tricked into doing something bad it isn’t your fault) Bad people don’t spend their entire day grumbling about what evil thing they will do next, they party, they make jokes, they have other hobbies. To me the streams show a different side to the federation but at the end of the federation has done horrible things and seeing some workers waltz about won’t change that.

This has also given me some thoughts about us as the viewers part in this. I’ve seen people refer to this a propaganda, but for who? The islanders aren’t watching these and we the viewers don’t have much of a say in anything that happens. We got to vote in the election and we are the voices in their head but outside of that we have no part in the story. We can’t talk about what is happening because that would be metagameing so what point would changing our opinions do? What are they trying to gain by making us like the federation? What point is there in humanizing the workers(other than to make us upset at their murders, which honestly is quite a good point)? What are they up to?

Also first post yayyy!

#qsmp #qsmp elena #qsmp federation #ahhh my fingers hurt from typing so much #also it’s hard to write these little thoughts #I keep coming up with counter arguments #and I am very tired

[im-very-sorry]

hello everyonr today i am here to tell you why emmett from the lego movie (2014) is autistic actually.

first lets talk about the beginning of the movie where mr emmett reads fucking instructions on how to be normal everyday. now it is implied in the movie that everyone reads these instructions every day or at least follows them, however it is clear from the get go that emmett takes them wayy more seriously than evreryone else. he goes as far as to use objects as the important people in his life because he wants to follow the rules and fit in, instead of just ignoring those rules or something i dont know. this is autism behavior

next very important part is that everyone around him thinks hes weird. now wait a minute and listen. when interviewed by bad cop everyone around him had almost the exact thing to say about him- that he was normal and perfectly likeable but there was just something different about him, something off that made them not want to be around him. lets make some comparisons here. almost every later diagnosed autistic person can attest that their peers in the early stages of their lives knew that they were different before they started exhibiting major symptoms and thats the same way emmett is treated by his peers. they do not have any reason to dislike him at all but they all slightly do because they can feel that he is different and they can not understand it. babygirl that is like every single autistic child's experiences.

next: emmettt following instructions. now i have made clear earlier that he follows instructions to a goddamn t but later on in the movie when wyldstyle tells him to act normal he acts in a way that he beleives to be normal and in response to this wyldstyle gets like frustrated and stuff. this sort of 'thinking you understand the instructions but when you do it the instructor gets mad at you and asks why you didnt ask for clarification when you thought you knew what you were supposed to do' phenomenem is, once again, one that like every autistic person has gone through.

okay okay last reason. during one of the bigger plot points when emmett beleives in himself while on metalbeard's ship it is made clear that the reason that emmetts plans are effective is because his brain fucking works differently than everyone elses. babygirl. thats so fucking autistic. you could of course argue that its because hes a normal person who, unlike everyone else on the ship is not yet a master builder. however we see in the end after wyldstyles speech that no other average citizen is thinking on the same level that is considered 'dumb and useless' as he is- president businness does not say thst these things are dumb and useless as he did with emmetts double decker couch, he is only frustrated due to the chaos. so emmett thinks differently than like everuone. thats autism babey

anyway this is discussinh the lego movie hours and i would like to at a round table with all the other scholars please and thank you

#the lego movie #legos #im normal #im chill #i swear #movie analysis #like tumblr level but give me a break #autism #assigned autistic at movie #aaam #im crazy #im fucking #gnawing at the bars of my enclosure #crunch #emmett #hes so autistic #hes so autism #teehee #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #my fingers #they hurt from typing #owieeeeee

[gojuo]

nobara is dead as hell and you guys know it. the cope that she would return got squandered with this week's chapter bc we all thought that with gege's penchant for lining up events of the manga with the anime, she'd finally be back this week after 3 long years but alas...

you guys need to keep this in mind

the reason why her status is still in limbo after 3 whole years is because of this. with the hard confirmation of her death, gege won't be able to pull this surprise off. it's also the reason why i think gojo is dead for real real despite all the obvious buddhist revival hints scattered throughout the story. guys, gojo already had enlightenment. he's already had it happen once. it's not gonna happen again. and the only hope of nobara coming back is because everyone is still clinging onto the fact that she's in limbo. she's only in limbo because gege wants to keep the "1 person lives/dies" a secret until the very end (obviously) but he killed off nobara way too soon in the story so now he has to intentionally never mention her, be vague about her status, and sprinkle in enough copium in the manga to keep people on their toes. megumi is the same. although he most definitely is not quite dead YET, i personally think it is obvious his body is done for. we won't see him getting his body back. we'll see his soul when yuuji does his soul swap thingy (ch. 220) but his body, his cursed technique, his life, it's finished.

which brings me to why i think this is why it's going to be like that, why jjk will end like that: yuuji, in chapter 1, was cursed by his grandfather

and in chapter 9, yuuji cursed gojo megumi and nobara

yuuji's granddad's dying wish was for yuuji to be surrounded by people once he dies. instead all the people that surround him will be dead. yuuji tells gojo megumi and nobara to live long lives. instead they all die before the year is over. it would be too ironic. the boy that was supposed to be executed is the only one who gets to live. it makes sense. it's why i think nobara is dead, why gojo is not coming back, why megumi is done for. but hey ... i'm a firm believer of the saying i'll believe it when i see it ... so who knows maybe this is not how jjk will end at all ... but i'll believe it when i see it. jjk is ending soon anyways, i give it max 30 chapters.

#this sounds like im mad at nobara copers but im not im mad at gege for doing this to her and to us #im not necessarily angry at the decision to kill her off .. im just mad at how he treats her death and everything concerning her post that #but my fingers hurt from typing so im not gonna go into it in these tags just know these arent all my thoughts and yes nobara is a wasted #character and yes her death in the story was well done. its an oxymoron i know but it was just right for yuuji in that moment #the issue is just how little gege made use of her when she was alive and how little he gave her character and us closure when she died #but like i said my fingers hurt so im not gonna explain myself any further #bakma bana #jjk #nobara

[orb-the-watchman]

Found my one enemy. (Drawing w big bandaid on fingor.)

#I can’t move my index finger at all so I’m drawing with my arm more and it’s making my arm so so sore >:((( #I just got back from work too so muscles hurt!! #and I can’t even type!!! tags!!! there’s is also a bandaid on my middle finger on my other hand (I am a dumbass) #orbs art

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

🥰😜Look at this cutie being 'lil silly-willy😜🥰

#you know I'd love nothing more than to do silly faces with John inside a photobooth #one of them has to be me pinching his cheeks but of course #and maybe we can do one of him giving me bunny ears but instead of his fingers he just uses his drum sticks #god my cheeks hurt from the sheer amount of cuteness as I type this #John Otto #Limp Bizkit #nu metal #Get in loser. We're going to the Mathews Bridge for John Otto Monday. #down the rabbit hole

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries

[manasurge]

Tis' the season where I mentally and physically suffer. Complaining below (feel free to ignore, I'm just venting. I usually do this every year to get most of it out of my system lol):

mmm the fall/winter SAD is indeed in full swing. No warmth + no sun = a bad bad time. I always get so annoyed when ppl assume that I love winter bc I'm a "winter baby", as if that has any sort of divine intervention on instantaneously adapting you to perfectly fit the climate you were born in. NOPE. Silly human superstition. I start to freeze once it hits below 20C. I wish I lived in a warmer climate o|-< The depresso is probably going to make me very whiny and moody until next spring, so an early forewarning bc I'm EXTREMELY annoying about it this time of year bc it's the only way I know how to deal with it. But moreso in addition to the physical stuff is how badly it messes with my mind, making me so depressed to the point of just... sitting in non-moving silence where I become stiff as a board (very painful btw) and I isolate, making the bad depresso brain time even worse where I overthink everything bc of the silence and isolation. It's also always the time of year where everyone goes quiet too, which is understandable, but also makes things 10x worse (I am very alone in my life and where I am, and kind of rely on online friends bc they're all I have. I don't even have a pet. I'm literally just, loner mode. I don't really have much family to speak of, and only one family member I do speak to. I have little to no connections at all. But regardless, this is still the best living situation I've been in my whole life, so that's saying something).

#i hate the cold; I hate ice; cold air hurts my skin and burns my lungs #i hate snow (I'm sorry I just don't think it's pretty. It's gross; erases all colour/everything; blinding; kills everything; claustrophobic #I hate long nights; i hate all the darkness #I take Vitamin D drops every day during winter and they don't really help #I also use those special lights meant to help during the long darkness for the same reason; and they also do not help #nothing works!!!!!! eating and drinking hot things doesn't help me stay warm bc heat dissipates away quickly and doesn't help my extremitie #the cold makes me SO dry and dehydrated; makes my bones hurt; makes outside DANGEROUS AF. ICE IS BAD. BE CAREFUL. #I can't retain heat; my hypothyroidism makes me colder by default and I just don't metabolize good/fast enough to keep myself warm #(my body temp is lower than average; fun fact! same with my blood pressure! both of them are very low) #I think my average from all the times I've had it scanned during covid was 32-36C. No idea how that works; I just remember checking it a lo #my fingers and hands are going to freeze; making it harder to draw/type/etc. #I'm not going to wear gloves inside my home bc that's dumb and they don't help anyways. It will just screw up my ability to use my hands #I get to be in pain for months with increased potential of being sick :/ #also I HATE bundling/layering myself with clothing or blankets; it's suffocating; restricting; sensory hell for me; sweaters are uncomfy :( #also whenever I try to do that all it does is insulate the cold for me; keeping me colder for even longer!!!!! it's so unfair!!!! #I've worn out 2 space heaters already and they don't work properly anymore (I used them both so much I wore out my preferred settings lol) #sobs; i'm a sad plant lizard

[localgardenweed]

Looking off into the sunset feeling my soul shatter as I think of my Hetalia KND AU

I think Sector G8/G9 (i cant decide) constantly bicker for some sort of control (Minus Feliciano he is fine just being there hes there for the fun) while the rest are trying to get to leader position for one reason or another. Arthur is FIGHTING to keep that Team Leader role

My idea with Alfred and Matt are that they’re like fightor pilots together, their gag is Alfred cant do shit and always fucks up but Matt always comes in to save the day while Alfred takes all the credit and Matt just has to suck it up and hold back his rage, everyone always forgets he’s there since he’s so quiet but occasionally they’ll notice him when they ran out of maple syrup for pancake day and he sighs and goes down the block to his place to grab a bottle cause his family gets the good shit and he just has to sit there and feel ignored the rest of the time untill they want timbits ot smth hand has to do it all over again. I wanna say they’re half brothers like same dad different moms too, explains why they dont live together and why one kid is violently American and the other Canadian. Or maybe twins and parents got divorced when they were like super young and got remarried and one lived in America and the other Canada. We may never know. Matts older though in both scenarios.

Kiku and Alfred always haul in videogame consoles, they frequently play Super Smash Bros together and like shit gets INTENSE IN THAT TREEHOUSE THERE WILL BE BLOOD, Alfred always loses and he never knows why but secretly Kiku always gives him the bad controller. He is secretly ruthless when it comes to shit like this. Kiku also likes training cadets at Arctic Base from time to time, he can be a little scary. On the flip side he likes to help Feliciano with his homework alongside Ludwig as they try to explain to him how to do long division as Feli just watches and spaces out again. They gave up and thought teaching him to cheat would be easier but no it was just as hard. Kiku likes to bring in ramune sodas and so many poppin cookings like i think its all the kids eat half the time HE ALWAYS BRINGS MORE THEY NEVER SEEM TO RUN OUT. He whips out a waffle one for Alfred for breakfast and watches him lick the cranberry sauce clean off the plastic. He also brings other cool candies cause its kinda one of his only flexes. That and also all the anime he brings, mostly dvd but they’re also only in Japanese so he’s mostly watching them all by himself cause like no one else knows it.

Yao is always off training by himself in his room, beating the shit out of his dummies and having to head down to the shop to buy new ones cause he always ends up wacking their heads and stuffing off. He eats a bunch of candy too to keep his energy up, it is a miracle his teeth haven’t rotted. He likes to go bother Ivan and try to get him to train with him but Ivan just sits in the corner playing with his toy trucks reenacting car crashes and stuff and Yao just says “….lol weirdo, im bringing over leftovers tomorrow for our dinner here at the tree house, do you want those little candies my grandma brought from home?” “Yes please” as he whisper screams acting as the drivers who got into the crash and die. Yao also is also the most athletic of the group, very flexible too.

As you can see Ivan is a little fucked up but he’s kinda just a loner. He feel he doesn’t fit in and Yao kinda hangs out with him but him and Alfred are surely a interesting duo. Arthur makes him work with Alfred sometimes on missions and they kinda cant stand each other but are they ever gonna say that? No. But he also weirdly likes Alfred like “wow he’s so cool…how does he have it so easy?” Thinking he’s the absolute shit when in reality the rest of the sector kinda cant stand him. He mostly just keeps to himself and does what he’s told, but ofc is absolutely fucking terrifying when provoked. But also kinda a little whiney bitch when he gets comfortable.

Francis and Arthur switch on and off to adult busting besties to “I HATE YOU EVEN MORE WHATEVA MAJOR LOSER” with the hand signals and everything. They train alot together and use their angry time as good training time. They fence and sword fight together and also tend to alot of chores around the treehouse. They weirdly respect eachother but also want to see eachother dead. Francis has a pony he keeps in its own stable in the treehouse, he pampers the shit outta it too. He takes it for walks around town and puts it in competitions and DOMINATES competition

Arthur has a whole ass battle ship. He begged Ludwig (2x4 Tech Officer) to build him one and they spent a couple months on it alone to make it perfect (aka Arthur kept adding shit to his list of wants and he went crazy trying to fit it all) but it got done eventually. He breaks for tea time and it’s RELIGIOUS he does not skip a beat to rush over for tea time. He really is a little British boy. I like to think though he does it so no one tries to steal his scones cause he goes out to buy the good ones. Everyone stopped stealing though when he started making copycat scones and they obviously sucked but he didn’t know that he thought his security measures were just so good!! (He put a single trip wire to make you fall forward. Thats it thats the trap) He also gets all his cool outfits commissioned by Taiwan (I dont have a human name for yet </3) who works at global command and makes all the super cool outfits for everyone. He has multiple jackets and like some of these outfits are OUT THERE he pays alot of candy for these things like some got whole ass gems and Egyptian cotton like okaaayyy

No one knows why Feliciano is still here, he doesn’t do shit and super dumb but like he brings good leftovers from his place so ig he can stay. He was a boy scout with Ludwig till he was like “Lets join KND” and he just said “Ok!”. He helps Ludwig the best he can by mostly just handing him shit but he makes himself useful somehow.

Ludwig is a absolute nerd, and also kinda a suck up like its actually so weird to think he’s in the KND cause he seems like super like “we must respect adults at all times!!” But no he has a fire in him, he cant stand them, he puts up with them but he cant stand em really. They did smth he can never forgive…anyway he’s always making new 2x4 tech for his sector and goes to alot of conventions. He’s kinda just a nerd like i said but he does et loose. He loves to play with trains and cars, has a whole model train set he made himself and also kinda a minecraft gamer. Ok so my timeline js weird cause idk if im making this in early 2000’s like the og show or in the modern day but ehhhhh whatever. Anyway when Kiku and Alfred are done playing Smash Bros and throwing hands he plops down to load up Minecraft, he loves to do redstone and also just play survival and ya know, tough it out. He plays with Feliciano but he sucks but he still lets him play. He actually plays alot with Francis but he likes more PVP and exploring than mining and building like Ludwig. Alfred also gets in on it but likes to troll so they usually kick him iut after he drops lava on Ludwigs cow pen.

Will i talk more about them? Yes ofc duh. Tune in next time for my awesome video essay on why this is my best au yet /j

#localgardenweed #the weed is rambling #hetalia #hws #hetalia x codename kids next door #hws x cknd #yes YES MY AU MY AU!! #i needed to talk anout smth fun so i made this #been in my drafts for a little while but now i shall reveal it to the world #hetalia italy #hws italy #hetalia germany #hws germany #hetalia japan #hws japan #hetalia america #hws america #hetalia england #hws england #hetalia france #hws france #hetalia russia #hws russia #hetalia china #hws china #hetalia canada #hws canada #my thumbs hurt from typing this all #and my fingers for holding the phone #and my arms for holding my phone

[hobbithoes]

i may no longer tattoo but my freakish finger bump shalt remain as a reminder ….

#LOL THE MATURE TAG 😭 my penis finger #I’m packing up to move tn I’m so sleepy I been up since 5am then 3am last two nights with barely any sleep bc I was nervous lollll #tbh I’m making this post to procrastinate i keep walking around aimlessly I’m so tired of packing 😭 #freaking hoarders nest lol #it might just be from the wireless tattoo machines tbh my work bestie has one 2 #but idk anyone else in the shop who does then again I’m not close enough to anyone else besides piercers enough to know 🙀 #but yah I quit me job I was making nooo money like I have 140 rn and my rent is 700😊 so stepdads mom is helping me she’s so sweet #she’s helping me move too I’m moving into my bfs parents house for like a month before our big move to PHILLYYYYY💕💕 #I was tweakingggg like I felt so bad I think it’s finally okay now even if they don’t let me out of the lease it’s just the last month #of my lease I can’t pay so they can’t evict me it won’t ruin my credit 😝😝😝 just might be debt if they’re bogus about it lol #but I already have like 6 or 7 thousand of that from my owed taxes from tattooing for 2 years 🫣🫣🫣🫣lolll aint been paying that shit #I already typed my whole situation out so many times I deleted like twice right after and a couple times it wouldn’t postttt #so it better post 😡😡😡 #quit my job I don’t have to TATTOOO ANYMOREEE YAYYYY #I think that’s why I was tweaking too I haven’t not worked for any point in 4 years 😩 so it feels so weird #the finger numb gets flat if im tattooing all day and hurts super bad 😵‍💫 beat into submission by the machine pressure digging in 😳 #bump * 😡 #anyway thanx for reading my novel in the tags if u did #right ring finger 💍 btw my angles r a bit confusing here I must admit