#my social anxiety specifically

[jankwritten]

hm.

#maybe it's time i put some actualy thought into the possibility that i'm autistic #because the more i read about it #the more it becomes very clear that every facet of my mental disorders could. very easily stem from autism in some way shape or form #my anxiety #my social anxiety specifically #my thing about specific noises and foods as sensory related issues #the way that burnout affects me and also the way that I can't verbalise how things are specifically in my brain #a lot of my other attributes like my gender/sexuality also align with more autistic behaviors but that's obviously not a telltale sign #aroace nonbinary people are not all automatically autistic #i always go in circles with myself about this because my brother has an autism diagnosis #or at least he has been tested and been given a 'very likely' kind of answer #but my mom has ADHD #(her dad and her brother are also suspected to be on the spectrum but they've never been tested) #but every time I bring up the possibility of me being autistic with ANYONE outside of my friends it immediatley gets shut down #idk how to feel about it anymore #but me being autistic would explain so much? but also i don't want people to just think that i'm using that label because it's #like 'hip' nowadays or whatever the fuck in online spaces for people to self diagnose autism and shit like that #i'm just really tired of fighting with myself 24/7 about this #so. #it's a label i want to be able to use because it makes SENSE and it explains so much about me? #but i don't know for sure and i don't know if i ever will #tonight's one of those nights man #i am once again oversharing on the internet #the depths of the blog #not pjo #not omgcp #not fandom

[thesupernaturalhouse]

A scene I have planned for the hazbins fallen au, for odette/clara/vaggie, family bonding horray!

Vaggie who wants to take a nap: ookay- oh my god- what the actual fuck??

Clara and odette chilling on the couch: hi!!/hello

Vaggie: what the fu- how the fuck did you two get into my house- WHY are you in my house!? How did you even get past the hotel lobby!? How did you get past the ward?!

Emily: yeahhhh uh.....listen- I- I love you.....but....I'm a bit worried about you? Also if they try to harm you the ward will throw them out the window so....

Vaggie: Em- im perfectly fine!! I don't want to talk to people!

Emily: I know!! Which is why I brought them! You 3 seemed to have a good time at the carnival bonding-

All 3 in denial: we were not bonding

Emily:.....yeah, sureeee you weren't. You 3 bickering liek siblings and making stupid bets totally wasn't bonding

All 3 look away

Emily:.....anyways, Charlie's at that meeting, Husk is gonna show me how to bake a pie, Angle is at work, Nifty is somewhere in the vents-

Manic muffled laughter

Emily:....pentious took the children to the park, keekee is doing cat things, and Baxter is in the basement, I didn't want you to be alone because I know your anxiety is up with this meeting and stuff-

Vaggie: okay okay I get it!

Emily: good. Have fun then! Bye!

Vaggie:.....

Odette:.....

Clara:.....

Vaggie:.....I'm going to go take a nap

She gets woken up by...something I'm not sure yet I havnt planned that far lol

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel au #hazbins fallen au #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel emily #hazbin hotel charlie #mentioned tho #the meeting is with adam....i should really post the episode list soon #chaggie #chaggily #chaggiem #vaggily #specifically about those 2 #hazbin hotel husk #mentioned #hazbin hotel odette #hazbin hotel clara #carmine sisters #found family #emily and charlie worry for vaggie somtimes. especially since she isn't as social as them #Vaggie has anxiety and ptad and maybe a little depression because i say so....and shes autistic because of course she is #look at my girl!! my neurodivergent moth girl!!

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

im not autistic but i believe in their beliefs (because i share like 80 % of symptoms typical for autistic women with yall)

#overstimulation? check #bursts of anger? check #overwhelmed in social situations and needing a lot of downtime in my safe space? having comfort people? check #seeming ‚weird‘ to other people? check #always feeling like i dont fit in with the girls? check #overly excited over small things? check #sensory issues? check #never knowing when its my turn to talk in conversation? check #people reacting weirdly when i interject in conversations? check #monologueing about my special interests? check #special talent? semi check because i dont think im that good at drawing but i used to get in trouble in school for drawing too much #often say inappropriate/inappropriately frank and honest things unintentionally? check #extremely analytical thinking especially regarding social relationships but unable to make me less weird? check #having been the odd one in my family and school and at work all my life? check #having specific rules how everything has to be done? needing rituals and structure and a controlled environment? check #social anxiety as a result? CHECK #the list goes on… #its the adhd/bpd mix i think #personal

[not-poignant]

hiya pia! I just saw your new puppy on Instagram!! congrats, he's so cute! I was just wondering, is he a rescue?

cuddles to him and Maybe 🤗

Hi anon,

He's not a rescue! We've always had rescue cats, which is actually part of the reason we can't get a rescue dog, lol. I'm about to talk a lot about it, so get ready! Lol

So firstly, in Western Australia, poodle x rescue puppies don't really exist at all in rescue organisations , and Glen and I are both allergic to highly shedding dogs as well as dogs with very short hair, and we needed a trainable / biddable puppy because we have a cat with a lot of behavioural issues. We've had to litter test each litter of puppies we've met with to see which ones were suitable / not suitable with our allergy issues.

Unlike other places in the world, poodles are actually very hard to find here, and as someone who's had my eyes on rescue organisations on and off for 10 years I can say with a lot of confidence we were never going to find a non-shedding puppy or dog without significant behavioural issues in a rescue. It was nearly impossible before the pandemic, and it's been impossible since.

Western Australia has a dog breed bottleneck, because before frozen sperm existed, most people had to pay around $10,000 to get a new dog of any kind because of the flight fees. On top of that, we have the strictest quarantine in the world. Any dogs to introduce new genetic lineages into a breed from overseas had to spend three months in a concrete cell, with no comforts and only allowed short visits per day. As a result, many of these dogs developed behavioural issues.

But this has meant that some purebreeds don't exist at all in Western Australia, or are just extremely uncommon. There's no medium poodles in Western Australia. There's only two active miniature poodle breeders. Borzoi aren't here. The list of like... fairly common dogs that don't exist here, or only exist in small numbers, is huge. And this means what filters into the rescues tends to be the most popular breeds - staffies, kelpies, malamutes, huskies, german shepherds, labradors and their mixes - all dogs we can't have as pets :(

So, we looked into purebreeds for a long time, and fell in love with some standard poodle puppies we met several months ago, but they were just too big for our cottage, and for our 12 year old 'I have so many behavioural issues Pia learned clicker training just to manage me' rescue cat.

We actually consulted with a trainer who specialises in PTSD dogs quite a few months ago before making this decision and deciding on Tobermory, and she was the one who suggested we go this path.

Rescues are great, I'm a huge rescue animal proponent, I've worked in both wild animal rehabilitation, animal fostering, and in animal rescue at various times in my life. For most people who aren't dealing with allergies (and keeping in mind that a low-shedding dog isn't hypoallergenic! Glen and I are still having allergic reactions, they're just not hives or asthma attacks, and we can manage congestion/breathing issues etc. with antihistamines + rescue inhalers), or who don't already have problem pets to worry about, it's absolutely one of the first avenues people should try!

But puppies from reputable and trustworthy breeders (whether mixes or purebreed) are often bred for qualities that can be more reliable in people who are trying to meet certain needs. And I advocate people go in that direction too if that's the only way they can have or live with a dog. Especially if they can meet with the breeder, meet the parents, meet the puppies multiple times, see (and check) health testing results, and those dogs are being registered, if not through a Purebreed Register (which honestly guarantees nothing except conformation, and often puts health and sometimes even temperament by the wayside), then through a reputable Register that has a code of ethics where you can report a breeder for poor practices and trust that they will be held accountable.

A small fluffy cutesy dog is actually not my favoured kind of dog in terms of how he looks. If I were picking a dog for cosmetic reasons, it'd be such a different dog!! :D I prefer borzoi, or leonbergers (two dogs that don't exist here), or landseer newfoundlands (doesn't exist here), or large munsterlanders (doesn't exist here) etc.

But in terms of temperament and what we need him for? He's perfect. Plus I can still breathe through my nose today and I'm not covered in hives, which is a win!

Anyway, I realise I could've answered this with a short 'no he's not a rescue' lol, but I feel like a lot of folks don't understand what it's like in Western Australia, one of the most isolated major cities in the whole world geographically, and what that means for genetic bottlenecks, issues with finding certain kinds of dogs in rescue, and how the chances of finding a rescue that works can drastically plummet if you're already dealing with pets that have stress, anxiety, and behavioural issues at home.

Maybe was this kind of rescue. She would have been euthanased before we got her. In fact she was literally 20 minutes away from being put to sleep, before we got her. She went on to develop multiple behavioural issues being a multigen feral with Bengal background, which is a pretty bad combo in Western Australian bushland (multigen feral cats are something else here, and have been mistaken for mountain lines in the bush). She's needed intensive and time-consuming management since we got her, and it means every other animal around her needs to be as easy to manage as humanly possible.

But yeah it's put me in an interesting quandary for about 7 years? Longer? At any rate, TL;DR not a rescue! :D

#asks and answers #personal #i could also talk a ton about my severe PTSD #and severe social anxiety #and my agoraphobia #and specifically looking for a trainable companion dog that's non-shedding #but like i think i've covered enough dsklfjadsfdska #anyway highly recommend folks consult with a trainer *before* getting a puppy #to talk about their needs

[mawphead]

spoiler alert, jitters is a HOPELESS romantic

also with @moenmomentsthemoe-en dusk and dawn supporting her in any way they can :)

#she is held back by her severe social anxiety #i dont have a specific love interest in mind for her #so its up to any interpretation #my art #my ocs #welcome home #welcome home oc

[ghosthoodie]

some days i think i need to be diagnosed for the disorders and some days i donttt bwuh ':]

#i truly think i reallyy have adhd and anxiety/social anxiety specifically..im not truly sure about autism but i wouldnt be surprised if true #a lot of days im pretty good and other days i have a very hard time</3 #i was meant to get diagnosed last summer but i think my mom forgot...lol you wonder where i get it from #maybe ill ask her again if i feel like i need it! #wooden speaks

[perilegs]

saw a tiktok i can't stop thinking about. it was something like "why are transmacs infighting when we could be clapping clams" and yea. i could have tboy cock in my mouth rn yet i'm sitting here. at work. doing literally nothing. this is what's wrong with society

#leevi talks #i know i keep saying i need to get laid and i know it's not hard bc i'm irresistible to specific types of people and #i'm attracted to some of them but it's such a hassle #and. considering how crippling my social anxiety is - is it even worth it

[mewwile]

Rambled to my boo for ages about this but y'all can also have my Hot Take:

Disney movie Frozen had decent bones with its characters and wasn't half bad at some of the things it did and also can we talk about how ABSOLUTELY fucked up those girls' mental health was because oh my god.

We've got Elsa, elemental of self control, miss 'I've been raised with a mantra to always hide and stuff my emotions away or I may literally kill my family' who is alone for like ONE HOUR and has a musical number about how All Her Mental Illnesses Are Cured Now! Except the instant one (1) person shows up at her Alone Forever Castle she becomes the Anxiety Beast and swiftly devolves into a full panic attack.

Vs

Anna who is so emotionally starved that if you look at her for more than four seconds you both are Friends Until Death Do You Part. She is a starving animal desperate for any form of social interaction and doesn't even remember why her sister doesn't talk to her anymore and why her parents isolated the entire family from the outside world.

Elsa especially is such an emotional train wreck throughout most the movie like this woman is UNWELL! She needs some THERAPY!

#i liked frozen a lot but only because of my very specific experiences #but thinking back on it goddamn #Queen Anxiety and her sister: princess social deprivation #in conclusion: give me the franchise. let me rewrite it. give it to me.

[gynii]

If only I could get through a single social gathering without feeling like an absolute fucking child that would be great!

#gynii.txt #idk how to describe my new specific brand of social anxiety #maybe lime imposter syndrome but the thing i am pretending to be is a young adult while i feel like everything that comes out of my mouth #is actually stupid and immature and like im actually just some weird high schooler walking around in a 20-ish year old body of a trenchcoat #actually looking like a 16 yr old probably doesnt help #but like #idk i just a bit more socially inept than usual

[hongjoongpresent]

Lonely dance is truly the most fucking song of all time because the lyric "one step forward, one step backwards" sounds so simple yknow oh hes describing the "dance" but that REALLY IS exactly fucking what social anxiety feels like. You take a step forward it doesn't work out and you take that step right back. It's such a simple line and yet it hits smth in me. It's so real

#''somedays I'm up some days I'm down some days the world is way too loud'' yeah dude #not to be neurodivergent on main but this song is. so fucking. yeah #sometimes I. a nd person w social anxiety. relate to a song written by a nd person w social anxiety sorry #midnight best fucking album but lonely dance specifically is so fuckhhfj. the way it builds up to the ALL I NEED IS ME MYSELF AND I #ALL I NEED IS PEACE. AND. QUIET. #dude. yeah #I know this song is 4 years old or whatever but I'm rediscovering my undying love for this album leave me alone #music doesn't have an expiration date. bitch

[wall-e-gorl]

behind almost every cool calm normal conversation with me is a version of me slightly panicking and overthinking every word.

#augughgghgh #you see this is why i dont talk to people often. i regularly talk to 1) my family. 2) my dnd party. 3) thats it theres 10 people i talk to- #-on a at least weekly basis #this place doesnt count because im more talking to the void instead of a specific person #i am so well adjusted and dont have any kind of social anxiety at all no siree #queueing this because this isnt a vague to anyone and i dont want it to seem like it. i am just. doing my best despite anxiety brain #but augh its tough so i gotta post this

[chloeseyeliner]

no one:

my traitorous brain: hey, girl, remember when a few months ago you were at the university "green space" sitting with the only two people who can endure you with these two girls from class and you just started a fifteen-minute long rant (with kind of well-grounded arguments supporting it) about how edvin ryding is one of the best actors of our generation and how his portrayal of anxiety and panic attacks in young royals specifically is so to the point and realistic, and how he really cares about his characters because, for example, he really got to know wilhelm before every season to understand where he is right now and all, and how you are so glad you got to meet him through this show back in july 2021 and you are looking forward to seeing what the future holds as regards his career because he is just that admirable? oh, me too. by the way, that means you suck. have a good night, girlie!

#i've tried to reduce my rants around people irl (people i know well ofc i don't even talk to the others lol) since then lol #let's say that being a person with (mild) social anxiety yet a person who loves to rant on about films books shows politics etc #is kind of a lethal combination #lmao #anyway #i stand by it now #i'll stand by it forever #edvin is wonderful #(as all the other actors in young royals are!! but this specific rant was about him) #young royals #edvin ryding #oh and speaking of yr-related rants #i once started one (i don'r remember how long it was lol) about how simon is not a villain #like the minority of the fandom portrays him to be #because simon is traumatised by various situations in his life and he is trying so hard to take care of his family #despite being a literal teenager #and- #jesus no i am not starting again #lol #too many tags #too many feelings

[theygender]

This has been on my mind for weeks and I talked to my therapist about it today and told my girlfriend about it too so now it's time for me to update the gay people in my phone: I may have schizotypal personality disorder

#this is like the equivalent of telling the bees to me #rambling #like ive been thinking about ever since i learned that autism shares a lot of similarities with schizophrenia and looked into that #and then learned about negative/cognitive symptoms and realized i related a lot to them #and then i learned more about schizotypal personality disorder and it was fuckin scary how much i related to it #what with the magical thinking and the severe social anxiety that doesnt go away when i get to know someone #and the ideas of reference and the eccentricity and the communication difficulties and the strange thought patterns #and then i specifically learned about avolition as a negative symptom which describes the exact thing thats ruining my life rn #and. i was scared to talk to my therapist about it bc i was worried it could be used against me somehow #but it was good to talk it out with her and get some additional perspective on whats going on in my brain #and if it means i could maybe possibly work on fixing the avolition and the social anxiety (my two biggest issues for years) #then it would be 100% worth it tbh. and its also kind of helpful to have some sort of framework to understand whats happening in my brain #funnily enough when i told my girlfriend (who was previously mis?diagnosed with schizophrenia and considering autism) #about it she related a lot too. so i guess we'll see how that goes #its. crazy how much of an overlap there is between schizospec orders and autism #i feel like i might should write up a post going into detail about different schizospec disorders to raise awareness #bc like. it is so much more than just hallucinations and delusions #in fact its not even required to have both of those for any schizospec disorder. some only require one and others dont require either #there is so much to the schizophrenic spectrum that i was unaware of and I'm sure that's probably true of other people too

[kavehater]

I don’t think the weird anxiety/panic will ever leave my tumblr experience🧍‍♀️

#idk like I feel like I’m in the worst place imaginable rn #dora daily #there are no words to appropriately explain how unimportant I feel on this site 🧎‍♀️not because of anything but like #bad things keep getting worse and I just don’t get it. im just so in shock like I don’t think I have it in me to be shocked anymore #this is my life forever #🧎‍♀️ #actually im a liar when i said not because of anything #I mean it’s because of some things #specific things #that make me spiral #then those things make me think about existing things and I have no idea if im being reasonable or not but #it makes me doubt the legitimacy of literally everything else #I’ve had this level of anxiety for academics because it’s the only thing that truly ever mattered to me but not my social life becoming a #source of panic too 🧎‍♀️ #I say this soooo much and im sick of saying it but idk why im always ignored or it feels that way most of the time #bla bla bla #I make so many mistakes when I feel that way like what if something else happens and we turn that 3 into a 4 #🥳🥳🥳 #whenever I leave the house then I come home I have the most existential dread because I hate it here #I hate being on dumblr but as mitski said it best “you have so much to do and I have nothing ahead of me” #I’d just watch paint dry atp

[br1ghtestlight]

people on twitter being like "if your anxiety is so bad that you cant cook for yourself you should probably be institutionalized" would absolutely HATE to see how my life was in like 2019 lmao

#i feel like i must have reached the maximum amount of at least one mental illness at that point in my life #like you've seen anxiety and depression but you havent seen it like THIS. it was the natural conclusion to those specific disorders #“anxiety so bad you cant cook for yourself” is also just a massive understatement of the situation but i also wasnt cooking for myself #i couldnt even BUTTER my own BREAD #2019 is a ballpark estimate though i really dont remember when it was #mental illness is so interesting. im not like that now (obviously) but how was i diagnosed with the same disorder as somebody just out there #living a normal life with a minimal amount of social anxiety. i was gonna DIE #diagnoses have a very wide range of experiences and symptoms is all im saying lmao but im sure the comorbidities didnt help #the general vibe wasn't helping either though like. would i have done better mentally if i had been in a better life situation?? #perhaps. but we'll never know #u could probably argue that if i was exactly the same level of mentally ill but born into a normal family maybe #i would have made a better life for myself bcuz of resources and support. but ohh well #txt

[thethingything]

local man discovers he's gotten into the habit of using DBT techniques without actually being taught them because at some point he realised that the things we get the urge to do when we have strong emotions often aren't healthy and that he doesn't like how he feels afterwards so he started noticing when that was happening and going "fuck that shit" and doing the opposite instead

#personal #thoughts #Lucy post #talking to 🍬 about various stuff we do because of our social anxiety and what are probably undiagnosed BPD symptoms #and we realised he's gotten himself into the habit of paying attention to how his emotions affect his judgement #and trying to take a step back when he's experiencing an emotion that he knows gives us the urge to do stuff that's not healthy for us #and he said he felt bad about having those emotions and urges to do unhealthy stuff #at which point I was like ''okay but you're choosing not to act on that and to take a step back and do something healthier instead #which is what actually matters here and is also something that takes a hell of a lot of self-awareness and self-control'' #this is shit they teach you in therapy that's difficult specifically because you're going against your brain's instincts for a situation #and we were never taught how to do it so you've just fucking taught yourself to do it instead #without actually knowing it's a specific technique that has a name #I was aware of it but had never actually looked at the instructions properly because when I stumbled across it #it was at a point where being told to go against what my emotions made me want to do felt invalidating and upsetting #I've literally just pieced together that ''oh right that's what that is and how it's supposed to work #and how it's meant to feel when you do it right'' #anyway all this is to say that I keep being impressed with the amount of progress 🍬's made on learning healthy coping mechanisms #including things I could never seem to get the hang of when I was fronting more and handling more stuff #and I'm really proud of him and 🦋 and everyone else who's been handling stuff within the system and keeping things running #but also nobody in here seems to realise how much progress they've made with anything until someone else points it out #I just realised I should tag this as #happy posting #because I'm talking about stuff that's going well and where we've actually made a lot of progress