#nightmares ☽

[preeningpisces]

♡ Too Sensitive - Part Two ♡

Telling the JJK men you get too sensitive right before you cum and always have to stop, effectively ruining your orgasms. 

A/N: basically Choso is sweet—the other two are not lol

Includes: Choso, Kenjaku, and Sukuna Part One sorry for lumping you in with the baddies, Choso

Content: masturbation, fingering, cunnilingus, p-in-v, bondage, monsterfucking, dacryphilia, degradation, praise

Petnames: whore, my lord

TW: dubcon, sadism

18+ Content below, mdni, implied chubby f!reader - enjoy!

Choso is earnest & helps you through it. He wants you to cum, it’s one of the best parts of sex. Denying yourself every time, even if it isn’t intentional, has to be frustrating. He'll do whatever you need to get there.

♡ ♡ ♡

With how new relationships are for Choso, you haven’t added sex to the equation yet. Everything about intimacy is a learning curve, and even though the two of you agreed to take things slow, Choso has shown a clear yearning and interest in sex. So when he walks in on a failed masturbation attempt, all thoughts of easing into sex flew out the window. How was he supposed to forget the sight of your legs spread, head thrown back, and fingers working to make yourself come? 

He crawled up the bed, and with pleading eyes, asked what was wrong. You insisted everything was fine, but Choso isn’t stupid: he knew you were masturbating, and it didn’t go how it was supposed to for whatever reason. Eagerness alone isn’t enough to make up for a lack of knowledge, however, and Choso feels almost as frustrated as you when he accepts he doesn’t know how to help. 

It’s then you learn of Choso’s persuasion skills, because you now rub your clit for your boyfriend to watch. His gaze is heavy and irreverent—transfixed by your wet pussy.

“It’s so pretty,” he says when your hole twitches, and the compliment makes warmth flood through you. “Can I touch you?”

“A-ah, yeah, go ahead.” The scenario wounds your pride: you don’t want to struggle in front of Choso. How is he supposed to trust you as a guide when you can’t even give yourself a basic orgasm? A tentative touch to your labia interrupts these thoughts, appreciating its shapes and feeling your wetness. 

You whimper when his curiosity leads him to tracing your hole—not penetrating, only running the tip of his finger through the rim. He looks at you in question before he slowly breeches you, amazed by the sight and sensation of you parting for him. 

It isn’t until you shift your hips that he grazes your g-spot, and your pussy squeezes his fingers so hard he briefly wonders if he hurt you. Uncertainty fades away as he caresses the rough area, his excitement growing as you move against his hand with a moan. It’s wet and warm, and the thought of it surrounding his cock makes him bite back a sound. 

“Choso, you’re doing so good,” you pant, your voice tight with effort. “You can put another in.” 

He does as told, mouth hanging when he sees your pussy stretch to accommodate his fingers. Over-eager, he relentlessly strokes your g-spot, his hips grinding against the bed. You cry out and match his intensity by circling your clit quickly. It doesn’t take long for your legs to tremble, and your body to stiffen. Whether by accident or knowing more than you thought he would, his fingers scissor, and you’re brought to the door of stinging pleasure.  

“I can’t—I’m sorry,” your hand flies off instinctively, but he catches your wrist. 

“Keep going,” he says lowly, and covers your fingers, moving them to glide over your clit beneath his own. “Let me help you.”

It’s an odd sensation: your familiar fingers moving in unfamiliar ways. He intensifies your touch, and resumes stroking your g-spot, shooting red-hot nerves through your body. 

“Oh, my god, Choso! That’s too fucking—” you wail when you come, muscles cramping from the tension. Choso’s touches never falter as he leans over to connect your lips. It’s a sloppy, noisy kiss, and he moans almost as much as you. When you thrash to get away from him and tears well in your eyes, he removes his fingers and pulls you close. You pant in unison, and when you glance down, you see Choso had come in his pants. Only minutes pass before you feel his erection poking your ass. 

“Can I do it again?” 

Kenjaku is curious & tests you through it: what makes you so sensitive? Is it a certain technique? Would different stimuli make it more or less intense? He wants to explore until he knows the ins and outs of the issue to sate his curiosity.

♡ ♡ ♡

If you were told that you would spend your Saturday evening tied down with your leader’s head between your legs, you would assume they mistook you for someone with a much more colorful sex life. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have come as a shock with his unpredictable nature, but you assumed he had no interest in sex–or anything that isn’t about cursed energy, really.

Your legs strain against the straps as you come with a voiceless scream, mouth hanging open. Kenjaku only licks at your cunt twice more before removing himself, his face expressionless as he watches you twitch and convulse. With his thumb he absentmindedly wipes residue from his jaw, only to lick it from his finger and lips–the display makes your cheeks heat, even though he just ate your pussy. When he remains silent, you know he’s mulling over something, and prepare yourself for the incoming rant as your high dissipates. Instead, he slides two fingers into you. He wastes no time locating your soft spot, caressing the area with deliberate strokes. His cool demeanor makes you feel foolish for making any noise, whether they come from your mouth or your pussy.

When he ate you out, he focused on your clit, his tongue flitting over your opening once or twice, but never penetrating. Now, it seems, he’s doing the exact opposite. Thick fingers part so widely it almost hurts, but so turned on it only makes you mewl, and raise your hips for more. This seems to herald your end, as he sets a rhythmic pace, pushing you further and further along. Like before, the pleasure skyrockets to a harsh burn, and you squirm in your restraints.

“Where does it hurt?” You stare at him stupidly, unsure what he said. It’s the first he’s spoken since strapping you down. “You said it gets over-sensitive before an orgasm. Where is that happening now?”

“My clit,” you manage. His fingering doesn’t slow even as you’re trying to speak. 

“Is it internal or external?” A choke interrupts you before you can ask him to clarify, as another orgasm knocks the wind out of you. His fingers are still, but continue to pulse against your g-spot as your pussy clenches. Sensing your confusion, he continues.

“Does it happen in the head of your clitorus,” his thumb swipes over it cheekily, making you yelp. “Or is it internal?” He presses against your g-spot with an exaggerated force. Kenjaku’s voice is slow and condescending as he explains, as if you’re a child. You’re still trembling through your orgasm, too overwhelmed to think, let alone answer. Miffed by your silence, he pulls your nipple with his free hand. 

“External! Fuck!”

“Interesting,” he says to himself, and continues to toy with your nipple until your eyes water. Two fingers straddle your clit, not touching, and rub the entire area in slow circles. A loud gasp tears from deep in your lungs, your body unsure what to do with this development. 

“No, you can’t be serious,” your voice warbles when a pinch to your clit chastises you. “Fuck, fuck–no!” You jerk against the restraints, and your hips try to run away from his touch. “Stop!”

“Tell me, was it worse the second time, or the same?” A muted whimper is your only reply. “Oh, don’t be like that. You’re fine. I have more methods to try, after all.” 

Sukuna is sadistic & forces you through it: normally he doesn’t care if you cum, but the thought that it’s too much and overwhelms you very much appeals to him.

♡ ♡ ♡

How your Lord became privy to such information you’ll never know for certain, but you have an inkling of how it happened. You were a simple servant, tasked with trivial duties like laundry and sweeping in the courtesan’s quarters. You had sequestered a bottle of liquor to be shared with those you consider friends, and the four of you drunkenly giggled as you shared your racy experiences.

Apparently, one of your ‘friends’ is a fucking narc, or just an idiot with loose lips and no sense. Because a handful of days later, you’re being summoned by Sukuna himself, and find yourself propped on his lap.

The tongue is waterlike, curling and rolling between your thighs, leaving thick saliva in its wake. It doesn’t take long for your pussy to leak and for pathetic sounds to spill. Does he prefer silence? You fist your robes, unsure if you’re allowed to even touch Sukuna; you have no clue how you’re supposed to behave.

“I’m going to kill the fool that sent you to the servant’s quarters,” he says. One of your breasts stills from your robe, and he is quick to palm it with his massive hand, and more terrifyingly, pull your nipple. His other hand squeezes your pliant thigh, and another molds against your hip, thumb digging into your lower belly–clearly appreciating how soft you are.

Barely, you resist rolling your hips in tandem with his licking. Despite it all, the large slippery tongue feels unlike anything you’ve felt before. The roll of his tongue is passionate enough that it swipes at your ass as well, making you gasp and clench every time. The pleasant sensations bleed into discomfort as you get close–what you’ve feared ever since you came into his throne room–and you stiffen as you try to bear through it.

His tongue never stops its languid stroking, and despite your best effort, you thrash and twist in his hold, trying to escape the burn. A plea for him to stop bubbles at your lips. You have no choice but to take it, and after a few moments of unbearable rubbing on your clit, you sob as an orgasm is ripped from you. The tongue never stops. It laps wildly, trying to drink everything your body offers. Tears spill from your eyes, as the prickling in your clit spreads.

“That was fast,” he muses, lazily eyeing your quivering body. “I’ve never seen a whore cry because she got her cunt licked.” His tongue flicks your clit sharply, and he chuckles when you nearly topple over. “Sensitive?”

“Yes, my lord.” You tremble all over; the weight of his attention is enough to terrify.

“Good.” Suddenly, he lifts and positions you over his cock—the one furthest from his pelvis. Your heart drops to your ass. It’s humongous, surely, it will kill you! You don’t have time to fear, because he presses you down immediately. It pushes against your entrance for several moments, unable to slide in despite how lubricated you are with his saliva and your juices, but eventually, your hole succumbs to the pressure from Sukuna’s hold and it breeches you violently. The size of his cock knocks the wind out of you, and its twin grazes the your pussy. Your clit feels like it’s on fire.

“Cry for me, whore,” he lifts you up and drops you back down, the slap and your yelp echo through the throne room. “It’s all you’re good for.”

#drabbles ☽ #dreams of kenjaku ☁︎ #dreams of choso ☁︎ #dreams of sukuna ☁︎ #chubby reader #sukuna smut #kenjaku smut #choso smut #jjk smut #sukuna x reader #kenjaku x reader #choso x reader #sukuna x chubby reader #choso x chubby reader #kenjaku x chubby reader #I struggled with sukuna so much ngl #nightmares ☽ #kind of #tw dubcon #tw sadism #dreams ☽ #wet dreams ☽

[the-guardian-kitsune]

he looks ready for murder rather than happy, but maybe it's the thought of shedding blood that has him smiling.

#✧༄ཾ┊ youkai's whispers #☽ ൎ༄⭑┊ hana is playing hsr #honkai star rail #hsr blade #that smile of his is so unsettling #no wonders dan heng has nightmares of it #smh blade eat a damn snicker

[lilitophidian]

I'm sitting here thinking kinda wanna give Lilith more animal traits.

The serpent shit and apparently owls according to lore, so she's like a weird ass hybrid.

Watch her true demonic form have like slinky multiple ribs, and she can rotate her head 270 degrees.

Hellraiser meets fucking Tim Burton over here in the cabin of Evil Dead. ???

#⋆˖⁺‧₊☽⚸☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ 𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓴𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓑𝓪𝓶𝓫𝓲 ⛧ Ꭷꭷፈ #hAHAHA #⋆˖⁺‧₊☽⚸☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ 𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓷'𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷 ⛧ Ꮒꮛꮧꮄፈꮧꮑꭷꮑꮥ #she dont give nightmares for no reason

[revclver-jesus]

{{ ........... Me trying not to think about how I predicted the new tactica villain back during that one group I modded with the mind controlling Lovers arcana shadow }}

#{{ OGs know the nightmares i've created dsfjkdshgk #i feel really validated honestly-- #“ oh i hope it feels like it fits the story's persona vibe ” I was literally SPOT on lmao }} #✯ ✧ ✧ o.o.c. ☾ ✞ ☽

[deadeyemarkxman]

『Had nightmares about being kidnapped by a couple twice. Same couple and spot.』

『How’d everyone else’s night go?』

#;inner demons☽ooc #『In total got like 7 hours of sleep? but god waking up from a nightmare sucks』

[remaimed]

i think i got this psd to work

#✧☽ ooc →「 ᶤᵐ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃ ᵈᵉᵛᶤˡ ᵇᵘᵗ ᶤ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᵒᶰᵉ 」 #astarions worst nightmare is she aka a murder clown

[halphcs]

FAIRY TAIL'S NEW GUILD MASTER: MIRAJANE 'SHE-DEVIL' STRAUSS

After years of being overlooked for the position of guild master, she had finally convinced Makarov to allow her to take over after the disbandment of Fairy tail. WIth Laxus and Erza having no intentions of taking over, Mirajane worked on rebuilding the guild during the year that everyone was out and about. The Strauss siblings helping their sibling rebuild and rebrand what was Fairy tail.

Everything would mostly stay the same but she would work on making a more stable place for the guild's orphans a warm place to sleep and eat. A few guild members would be told of what she was planning on doing such as ; Gray, Cana, Laxus, siblings, Freed, Lucy, Gajeel etc. And word would get around but Mirajane would want to make sure that all of Fairy tail had a place to come home too.

It would take over seven months for her to finish the building and repairs of what was once their home. Even if Fairy tail didn't feel like home forever, Mirajane has always been there to welcome people home when they were ready to come home. Over the next few months, people would slowly start to tickle back in. Ranks would be restored, a new s-class test would be created due to what happened during the last one and Cana would be one who she would take advise from when she feels overwhelmed.

Mirajane no longer works at the bar tending or serving. She has always thought her talents aligned with running the guild as she did before but more as the face of fairy tail. Mirajane would have great relationships with other guilds and make it a point to be on good terms with them as well. Mirajane hosting dinners or parties to unit the guilds once in a while to make sure everyone knew they had an ally in Fairy tail.

As they grow these relationships between young guild masters who are starting to take up the mantle of Guild master, Mirajane wants to make sure that what bonds were shared before continue on. Mirajane gets along with Master Sting, Master Lyon and later, Kagura who may or may not take up the title of Guild Master.

The main parts of the guild wouldn't change but Mirajane would want to make sure that Fairy Tail was known more for what they can do not the destruction they have been known for.

#٠☽ tales of her nightmares ❛ headcanons ❜ #٠☽ v. under candle light. the paperwork is endless ❛ FT Guildmaster ❜

[ladyseidr]

desperate need to explore my michael's nightmares tbh. both in like a He's Totally the Protag Of The Nights In FN.AF4 And I Should Get To Write Him With The Nightmares way and just in a please let somebody recognize that he has nightmares and care way—

#☽—— ⸢ ooc ⸥ #f n a f / #.tbd. #hallucination mentioned tw #btw his nightmares don't stop as an adult they just get more diversely horrible </3 #i do also write him as still sleeping some ( whether he /needs/ to is debatable ) post-scooping so they rlly do just. not stop. #he also sometimes struggles with recognizing dreams from reality due to sometimes experiencing hallucinations #so it's uh. rough. #anyway i think abt him seeing nightmare fredb.ear with blood on his teeth CONSTANTLY #plus just the exaggerated teeth on all the animatronics in general. haunted by his own actions and all that—

[nightmares--child]

ⲧⲁ𝓰 𝓵ⲓ𝛓ⲧ

☽ truth in fear - facts about terry

☽ reflections - comics, fan art, or artwork

☽ in your nightmare - in character

☽ in the waking - out of character

☽ glimpses into nightmares - aesthetic, a lot of horror

☽ whispers of fears - musings

☽ falling deep - roleplay starting post

☽ the winding - roleplay reply

☽ fleeting dreams - ask/prompt meme

☽ the library - dash game

☽ quoth the raven - answer to ask

☽ wandering the dreaming - drabble/solo post

☽ the other side - Multiverse AU

MOBILE UNDER CUT

#☽ truth in fear

#☽ reflections

#☽ in your nightmare

#☽ in the waking

#☽ glimpses of nightmare

#☽ falling deep

#☽ the winding

#☽ fleeting dreams

#☽ the library

#☽ quoth the raven

#☽ wandering the dreaming

#☽ the other side

#☽ truth in fear #☽ reflections #☽ in your nightmare #☽ falling deep #☽ the winding #☽ fleeting dreams #☽ the library #☽ whispers of fears #☽ quoth the raven #☽ wandering the dreaming #☽ the other side #☽ glimpses of nightmare #☽ in the waking

[angelbvn]

what's the best dream you've ever had? how about the worst (if you feel like sharing)?

- ☽

hm best dream… okay here’s one.

i wish sitting up on a ledge, there was nothing in particular about the ledge it was just a ledge. suddenly the ledge crumbles and i begin to fall deeper and deeper into darkness. it’s cold but not unwelcoming. slowly i feel an itch that crawls along my back and then all of a sudden when i hit the ground the scene is completely different, and i’m laying in a field of flowers i used to play in when i was younger. it was so calm, the sky was a clear blue with a few clouds. i laid there for awhile just breathing no thoughts just calm serenity :3

worst dream hm.. i mostly have nightmares but i guess the one that comes to mind is meeting Demon the first time. (Demon is an alter and yes you can meet alters in dreams.) it was.. awfully horrific—

#☽︎ anon.❤︎ #my dreams are usually just very odd or nightmares lol

[midmare]

new tags i.

☽ ＼ ( out of character ) .

☽ ＼ in character .

☽ ＼ ( memes || prompts ) .

☽ ＼ dash game .

☽ ＼ ( promotion ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ wicked and hellbent … ( study i :: headcanon ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ they call me an omen … ( study ii :: visage ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ madness calls to me at night … ( study iii :: musing ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ shadows on my wall don’t sleep … ( study iv :: aesthetic ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ save me your prayers … ( study v :: canon div ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ a villain in a black dress … ( study vi :: wardrobe ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ my nightmares sing me off to sleep … ( pt i :: oracion seis ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ i’m the one i fear the most … ( pt ii :: crime sorciere ) .

☽ ＼ ‘ i fight with you in my sleep … ( pt iii :: pardon || parole ) .

#☽ ＼ ( out of character ) . #☽ ＼ in character . #☽ ＼ ( memes || prompts ) . #☽ ＼ dash game . #☽ ＼ ( promotion ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ wicked and hellbent … ( study i :: headcanon ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ they call me an omen … ( study ii :: visage ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ madness calls to me at night … ( study iii :: musing ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ shadows on my wall don’t sleep … ( study iv :: aesthetic ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ save me your prayers … ( study v :: canon div ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ a villain in a black dress … ( study vi :: wardrobe ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ my nightmares sing me off to sleep … ( pt i :: oracion seis ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ i’m the one i fear the most … ( pt ii :: crime sorciere ) . #☽ ＼ ‘ i fight with you in my sleep … ( pt iii :: pardon || parole ) .

[preeningpisces]

Sukuna NSFW Headcanons

Lemme know if you want me to elaborate or write something about any of these ♥️

18+ content below, mdni, implied chubby f!reader, dark content

TW: implied non-con, mentions of death, Sukuna is not nice!!!

♛ Boy oh boy. Mr. Monsterfucker wet dream himself

♛ For starters, make no mistake: Sukuna gives absolutely zero fucks about your pleasure. You’re there solely to please him, and it makes no difference whether you enjoy it or not

♛ Knows where the clit is, he just doesn’t give a fuck lmfao

♛ I think one thing that would make him actually intelltionally please you--which is very rare, but happens on occasion when he's in a good mood---is sounds. If you make sounds of pleasure he likes, he’ll try to get more out of you. Again, not for your benefit. It's purely because it brings him some satisfaction. It’s the same with sounds of pain tho, oof

♛ Not very noisy, but doesn’t stifle any sounds either. Definitely a grunter. Talkativeness depends on his mood

♛ I definitely agree with the notion that he’d have concubines. As we know him now, I can’t imagine him falling for anyone or being loyal

♛ With that in mind, Sukuna doesn’t really have a type. His concubines all look very different. Yuki asks Sukuna what his type is and he just says pussy

♛ One thing he appreciates about you is how your soft body fills his hands. With him being humongous, having someone larger just feels more comfortable. Sometimes he just wants that vava-voom if you know what I mean. Also enjoys how your thighs feel when you're riding him--their softness rippling against his muscles

♛ That’s not to say Sukuna doesn’t have preferences, I just don’t think they’d be consistent, or that he’d care enough to pick up on a pattern. He just sees someone & knows ‘I’d stick my dick in them’ or ‘Uraume feed me this ugly hoe’

♛ OF COURSE he has a double-decker dick!! The one on the bottom is more sensitive. He likes having one of his concubines riding the top one, and another sucking his cock and balls

♛ His cum shoots--it gets airtime. Think that scene in Devilman Crybaby

♛ Without a doubt a sadist, in every way. Making you cry, making you bleed, & hurting you all get him going. Big on dacryphilia, and degratation

♛ Absolutely nooooot going to be submissive. Nope no way, especially not to some lowly human or sorcerer such as yourself. He’d have to see you as an equal, and even then, I’m not sure he would

♛ Not submissive but lowkey a pillow princess LMFAO you gotta do all the work. He just lazes while you suck him off or ride him

♛ When he’s in the mood he treats you like a fleshlight. If he legitimately railed you, it would do permanent damage. Mfer is 8ft tall—if he were to actually pound you with vigor you’d DIE. In fact, he probably does that when he doesn’t care to keep someone….yikes let’s not think about that

♛ Honestly I don’t imagine he’s that freaky or kinky. Really just wants to blow his load in (or on) someone pretty & that’s about it

♛ The freakiest thing he does is use his tummy tongue—largely because it frightens you & his other concubines bc, yknow, he could legit eat you. Also, he just wants to eat some pussy every now & then, and there’s no way he would lower his head or kneel for anyone

♛ He eats pussy for his own pleasure, not yours, but that tongue is so big and slippery you usually cum anyway. Doesn’t stop until he’s had his fill

#sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x chubby reader #chubby reader #tw death #tw noncon #tw sadism #dark content #divider by saradika #Might make a non-curse AU part 2 for him since they would be so extremely different #dreams of sukuna ☁︎ #nightmares ☽ #headcanons ☽ #sukuna headcanons #dreams ☽ #sweet dreans ☽ #wet dreams ☽

[lees-chaotic-brain]

For You (Gojo x Reader)

What if you were sealed instead of Gojo?

CW: Shibuya Incident spoilers, angst, not canonically accurate (just roll with it for the plot it doesn't have to make complete sense), swearing, so much angst

Part Two | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

Gojo knew that you were strong. He wouldn't have fallen in love with you out of fear if he didn't trust completely in your ability to return to him.

But that was before.

Before the shell of someone the two of you once knew and loved appeared.

Before he allowed himself to be distracted for a split second.

Before you noticed what was happening and shoved him out of the way.

Before you stood in front of him, hands bound behind your back, body rendered immobile.

"Well, this is an interesting development."

Not-Suguru clapped his hands together.

"Oh well, this will do too. Actually, we just managed to nab the strongest's only weakness: his love."

"Who are you?"

You snarl, glaring at your former friend.

"Why, I'm Geto Suguru. Don't you remember me? I'm wounded."

"Bull. Shit."

All Gojo can do is stare blankly at you, and pray that this isn't happening. That one of his worst nightmares isn't playing out in front of him.

"I know damn well that Suguru would never go out of his way to hurt us. He may have hated non-sorcerers, but even at the end he held no hostility towards us. So I'll ask you again. Who are you?"

"Satoru."

Gojo jumped a little, but quickly smoothed his expression over as you used one of your techniques to communicate telepathically with him.

"You need to run."

No! He wanted to scream. There has to be another option.

You continue taunting and yelling at the creature inhabiting your friend's body, and Gojo realizes that you are desperately stalling for time.

"Listen, I know you don't want to. But right now, you can't do anything for me without putting yourself in serious danger. I'm expendable."

Not to him, you aren't. For you, he would tear apart the world with his bare hands. For you, there wasn't a risk he wouldn't take. He has to find a way out of this. For you. Because there was no world where you were fucking expendable to him.

"You need to run! Now! I don't know how much time you have, but I know you can make it outside. You are the strongest after all. Run. Regroup with the others."

He knows that what you are saying makes logical sense, but he still can't wrap his mind around it.

Then you spoke again.

"No one should be allowed to take youth away from young people. That's what we agreed, right? So go. Do it for our kids. Protect their youth. For them. For our dream. For me."

Quietly, oh so quietly, he says something.

"I'm scared."

He admits, so quiet you can scarcely hear him.

"I'm not."

Your tone is gentle and loving.

"You aren't abandoning me forever. This is only temporary. I know that no matter what happens, you will get me out of here. Not because you're the strongest or anything. Because you love me, and I love you. And nothing can keep us apart, 'kay?"

Moving as much as your restraints would allow you, you turn your head the tiniest bit so you can look at him.

"Go. Go save our kids. I believe in you. I'll see you soon my love."

Holding back tears, Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer alive did the unthinkable.

Turning away from you and speeding up and out of the train station was the hardest thing he ever did, and will ever do.

But he did it.

For your many (unofficially) adopted children.

For your shared dream.

For you.

Always for you.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

This physically pained me to write, but it was taking up WAY too much of my brain space lol. Let me know what you think, and feel free to send in any requests you have!

#angst so much angst i cant #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru x reader angst #jjk x reader #jjk x reader angst #jjk fanfic #shibuya incident #gojo adopted all of those kids i dont care WHAT you have to say about it #im so sleep deprived #lee's brain writes

[serpentandlily]

Untouchable IV - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister! Reader ✨

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court's spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he'd eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on-with Elain, your brother's mate's middle sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that - more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst

a/n: ahhh guys I literally love all of you so much. Thanks for all the love and support on this story!! Hope you enjoy this one just as much!

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part IV

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You stared at yourself in the mirror, quite happy with that way you looked. You were getting ready to make a trip to Hewn City with the rest of the Inner Circle, so you could be announced as their new Overseer. Already donning your mask, a mask you wore just as well as your brother could. You were, after all, raised by the same cruel, unflinching male. After your father died, Rhys had made sure to continue teaching you how to handle the unsavory parts of the Night Court as best he could. 

So you had put on a dress that demanded attention. It was Night Court black, of course, with a halter top bodice that connected to a high neck collar. Starting from just below your breasts, the dress was cut into two panels to cover your front and back, laced together with a black ribbon on the sides. It clung to your curves and showed off more skin than you usually did. 

The entire side of your legs, your hip bone and waist, all exposed and accentuated by the dress. Some kohl liner brought your star-flecked, violet eyes to life. Your hair was curled and spilled down your back freely. You felt beautiful. Devastatingly beautiful. The Princess of Night. 

You finished the look with the diadem your brother had given you. It was made of Illyrian metal with dark red jewels decorating the intricately twisted vines. It was perfect for the Court of Nightmares. 

As you made your way down the stairs, you could already feel the disapproving stare of your brother. Only him and Cassian were waiting in the foyer. Cass was in his Illyrian leathers and your brother was wearing a finely tailored black coat and pants with his own crown on his head. 

“Nice try, dove,” Rhys chided. “Go back upstairs and change into the dress I had Nuala lay out for you this morning.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest. “No. I bought this one specifically for today and I’m going to wear it.”

“No, you’re not.” Cass snorted as Rhys tried to assert his dominance. “Go change. Now.” 

“No. I’m wearing this. You can’t make me change my mind.”

“Oh, I can make you,” your brother sneered. He could, you supposed, use his High Lord voice to order you to change. And then you literally wouldn’t be able to refuse.

Before he could though, you shouted for his mate. “Feyre!”

Your High Lady and sister-in-law walked into the room with a baby Nyx on her hip. She was wearing a beautiful, glimmering black dress that fell in a deep v to her navel. Slits on both sides of the skirt exposing her legs and a twin crown to the one Rhys was wearing sat on her head. Nyx was also dressed in black with a tiny version of their crown on his own head. The sight of them both was too adorable. 

“What’s going on out here?” Feyre asked, sliding up to Rhys’s side. He strung an arm around her, pulling her and his son close. 

You gave your brother a cheeky grin. “Your mate wants me to go change because he’s a big, overprotective, insufferable bat.” 

Your brother glared at you as Feyre smacked his arm. “Leave your sister alone, Rhys. She can wear whatever she wants.” 

The two of you shared a smile as Rhys let out a sigh of annoyance. “You know, I thought having a mate meant always having someone on your side. I would’ve never brought you here if I knew you’d end up conspiring with my sister against me all the time.” 

“You're lucky you ended up with such a smart, beautiful mate that can check you before you embarrass yourself, Rhysie,” you laughed as Feyre stuck her tongue out at him. Rhys scoffed at both of you as you giggled with each other at his reaction. 

“What are you guys giggling about out here?” Mor and Nesta walked into the room, both dressed as finely as everyone else. 

Feyre started to answer Mor but your attention drifted as Azriel appeared in the shadow of the hallway, striding towards the group. He was wearing his Illyrian leathers like Cass, all seven of his cobalt siphons on display. Azriel always looked intimidating, but even more so today as his leathers clung to his muscles and highlighted the lethality of his stone-cut face.  

His eyes immediately locked onto yours and widened as he took you in. His gaze dipped down and roamed your entire body and when he looked back up, his eyes were filled with hunger and heat, before he blinked and his cold mask was back on. You gave him no reaction, merely glancing away from him as if his presence had no effect on you. But the butterflies in your stomach begged otherwise. 

Elain came walking down the stairs at the same time, dressed in black yet way more modestly than the rest of you. You couldn’t help but notice how out of place she looked.

“You’re coming?” Nesta asked, peering at Elain in surprise. “I thought Hewn City was far too much for you delicate sensibilities.” 

Mor snorted as Elain scowled at her sister. “I’m only coming to show my support for y/n.”

She smiled at you and you gave her a grateful nod. Even if you were jealous of her for winning over the shadowsinger, you’d never blame her for him being an asshole. You also didn’t want Azriel to know you were bothered about it. You might not be as prideful as your brother was, but you’d rather suffer in complete silence than let anyone think they’ve made you feel insecure. Perhaps it was a family trait.  

“I’ve had your stuff, and Azriel’s, sent over to the Moonstone Palace already,” Rhys said as everyone congregated. “So you can spend the rest of the week getting situated with your new role as planned.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “But I already asked Cass to be my escort and he agreed–”

“Cassian forgot he has other duties that I already assigned to him this week.” 

Cassian gave you a sheepish look and you let out a huff. “What about Balthazar?”

Balthazar was the Illyrian warrior who had helped Nesta and Emerie during the Blood Rite. He now worked closely with training the Illyrian females and helping them merge with the Valkyries. He was a good male and an excellent warrior—but more importantly, he wasn’t Azriel. 

You could feel Azriel’s stare as you kept your focus on your brother. He waved a dismissive hand. “Azriel’s already agreed and I’d rather him guard over my sister than some untested Illyrian.” 

Your hands clenched, annoyed but you nodded, not wanting your brother to get suspicious. With that, your brother winnowed the group to the gates leading into the Court of Nightmares. You took your place behind Feyre and Rhysand and Azriel slid into the space next to you as your designated guard, apparently. You managed to keep your stare straight forward as you began to walk towards the throne room.

Azriel took a step closer to you, his shadows cascading around your ankles. “Do you hate my presence so much now that you’d rather some random brute take my place as your guardian?” he muttered under his breath.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re the one who told me to stay away from you. I’m only doing as you asked. And Balthazar is not some random brute. He is a friend.” 

“Since when?” he hissed.

“Not that it's any of your business, but I had been helping with the training of the Illyrian females before I left for the continent. Balthazar is another one of the trainers.” 

Azriel said nothing else as your group finally entered the throne room. You could feel the stares of all the fae in the room, likely wondering why the High Lord had called for a party. You followed Rhys and Feyre to the dais, where Azriel held out a gloved hand to help you up the steps. You grabbed it, not wanting to embarrass him in front of a bunch of vultures who already thought of him as less than, and took your place behind Rhys’s throne. 

You and Feyre were the two people in your brother’s life that he had vowed would never have to bow to anyone. And he took that quite seriously. So while everyone else was forced to lower themselves to the ground, you stood at his side. 

You glanced at the crowd of people in the throne room. Your eyes widened as you noticed Eris next to Keir. You hadn’t been expecting him.

“You can rise now,” Feyre said after leaving them on the floor for a few moments. 

And then it was time for the big announcement. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The party was in full swing, music playing, faeries dancing. Despite their despise for their High Lord, the fae down here took any excuse to get up to some debauchery. You still remained at the dais next to your brother, Azriel now a step behind you, like the guardian he was supposed to be. 

Cassian stood on the other side of the dais by Feyre with Nesta, both ready to protect her and baby Nyx should they have to. Mor had claimed a table where she and Elain now sat, the latter looking uncomfortable as she peered around at the party taking place. 

Keir stood before Rhys and Feyre, a forced look of respect on his face. It seemed to almost pain him and you had to hide your grin. 

“My Lord, if I may ask, why have you decided to pass along the role of Overseer to someone as young and unpracticed as your sister?” Keir asked, his voice full of condescension. “And to do so without any input from me. It seems like an insult to us in this court—to not have one of our own be a representation for Hewn City.” 

“I think you forget yourself, Keir,” Rhys sneered. “Me and your High Lady make every decision for this court and we certainly don’t require your input nor your opinions. You will show my sister respect. She is more than capable of what her title requires of her.” 

“Can you blame me, my Lord, for having my doubts? Your sister has never dealt with court politics. It might be naive to place her in such a position.” 

You took a step forward, standing tall as you looked down at your uncle. “You seem to forget, uncle, that I was the one who ran the Night Court during my brother’s absence for fifty years. You also seem to forget that your daughter’s mercy is the only reason you are still standing here today. Watch your mouth or perhaps you will find that I do not share the same leniency towards you as she does.” 

Keir’s face twisted into an ugly scowl, but he did the smart thing by keeping his mouth shut. Though his eyes flickered towards the shadowsinger over your shoulder and a bit of fear flashed through him. Luckily, he didn’t hold your attention for long as a redhead suddenly appeared in front of you, at the bottom of the platform’s steps. 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Eris purred, holding out his hand to you. His eyes roamed down the length of your body before they met yours. Your brother’s hands tightened on his throne’s arm rests but one look from Feyre kept his mouth shut. 

You placed your hand in his, blushing slightly as he leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your hand. “Would you allow me the honor of being your first dance tonight, Princess?”

Azriel growled in warning from behind you but you ignored him, instead looking towards your brother. He gave you a slight dip of the head as permission to leave your post, so you let Eris help you down the steps. 

Eris escorted you to the dance floor just as a new song began. You let Eris begin to lead you through the dance, one hand in his and the other one on his shoulder, as his free arm looped around your waist.

“It is a surprise to see Rhysand finally letting his coveted little bird out of her cage,” Eris whispered into your ear as he twirled you around the dance floor, a devilish smirk on his face.

“He can be persuaded,” you whispered back with a feline smile of your own.

“Does that have anything to do with a shadowsinger who looks like he wants to kill me more than usual?”

As he spun you around, you couldn’t help but glance at Azriel. He had moved from his post closer to the dance floor, to keep you and Eris in his line of sight.

His eyes were narrowed, his shadows spiraling around him like snakes ready to strike, as he watched you dance with Eris. You wanted to roll your eyes at his behavior. He didn’t get to be a complete asshole to you and then act all protective. 

“It has nothing to do with the shadowsinger,” you answered, gasping as Eris yanked you closer just in time to get out of the way of another couple drunkenly dancing. “It was all my negotiating that got me my new title. So I suppose I’ll be seeing a lot more of you now?” 

“It seems so, my Lady,” Eris crooned.

His amber eyes flashed to something over your shoulder and based on the smirk that spread on his face, that something was probably a certain shadowsinger. He met your gaze again, mischief sparkling on his face. 

“In fact, there is something I’ve been meaning to discuss with Mor in private, but I guess now that would be you, wouldn't it?” 

You nodded, peering around and noting Rhys and Feyre distracted by a line of couriers vying for their attention. Keir was off in a dark corner conversing with a male you recognized as Lord Thanatos. You looked back at Eris and he quirked an eyebrow. “It appears most everyone has their hands occupied right now. Shall we seek somewhere private after this?” 

Eris leaned down, his warm breath brushing against your ear. “I’d like that very much, Princess.” 

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes as he stood back up with a charming grin on his face. “You are as much of a flirt as your brother is,” you chided, waiting for the song to end so you could make your exit without drawing attention. 

“Don’t tell me you’re referring to little Lucien? Doesn’t he have a mate he's still pining after?” 

As you were spun again, you glanced back at Azriel, whose arms were crossed as he continued to glare in your direction. Good, you were glad he was upset. 

“Not lately,” you answered. It was true; Lucien rarely came around if Elain was present. He seemed to have given up on trying to win her attention for the time being. Perhaps he had also noticed the growing interest between her and Azriel. 

“Well I say good for him,” Eris chuckled. “A Vanserra has never had to beg a female for her heart. They merely present it to us on a platter.” 

“You are so full of it, Eris.” 

The music finally lulled to a stop and Eris let go of you, holding out his arm instead. “Allow me to prove it to you, Princess.”

You slipped a hand into the crevice of his elbow as you dipped out of the throne room before anyone could notice. Just as you had stepped into the corridor, a cold hand wrapped around your upper arm, halting the both of you. You already knew who it was before you turned around.

Azriel was seething as he glanced between the two of you. “You aren’t supposed to go anywhere without an escort, y/n. You know that.” 

You glanced at him as if he were inconveniencing you, though you knew he had followed. “I have one,” you replied, nodding your head towards Eris, who gave the shadowsinger a cunning smirk. 

“He doesn’t count,” Azriel hissed.

“Fine, then I guess it’s a good thing you’re here,” you shrugged before turning back around and leading Eris down the hallway. “Come, I know a private place we can go to.” 

You chatted with Eris as you walked, completely ignoring the angry bat that followed one step behind. Azriel was really starting to confuse you further. What the hell was he so upset about when he made his choice in Elain so clear? 

You took them down a dark, narrowed hall that looked like it was a dead end but a door appeared as you approached. It was just another secret meeting room. There were many in this court and you were familiar with most. You let Eris enter first and stood in the threshold blocking Azriel’s way. 

“Thank you, Azriel,” you said politely. “But I have it from here.” 

Azriel looked at you and then over your shoulder at Eris, his eyes full of icy rage. “Your brother has ordered me to stay with you at all times, y/n. Especially in the case of being around someone who may wish you harm.”

Eris snorted and you glanced back at him. “Hm Eris, do you plan on harming me?” 

“I was hoping to do quite the opposite, Princess.” His voice was full of wicked promise. 

Azriel growled lowly and the noise sent a shiver down your spine that you fought to cover up. “See, there’s no need for you here,” you chimed and then before he could even take a step forward, you slammed the door in his face and locked it. You quickly threw up a ward knowing he’d still try to spy with his shadows. 

Eris chuckled as he sat down on one of the plush couches. You took a seat on the one opposite, conjuring up a tray with two empty glasses and a bottle of expensive liquor on the coffee table between you. 

“So, what is it you wanted to discuss?” you asked as you poured the both of you a glass.

“Oh, there is nothing of importance for us to discuss. I just quite enjoy getting a rise out of the shadowsinger and for some reason, he seems to be particularly bothered with my proximity to you.” Eris crossed his legs and threw his arm around the back of the couch. The perfect picture of a male proud of himself. “Thank you for unintentionally helping me in my quest. I’m sure your shadowsinger thinks I’m trying to seduce you in here.”

“Are you serious?” you scoffed. “You pulled me from enjoying my own party just to make Azriel upset?”

“Oh please, we both know no one enjoys the parties down here.” He waved a dismissive hand in the air. “And it wasn’t the only reason. It's not very often that Rhys lets his little sister be in the presence of those he considered unsavory. Perhaps I am interested in your company as well.” 

“Well you’ve got my full, undivided attention now,” you replied, sitting back against the couch with your glass in your hand. 

Eris grabbed his glass as well, twirling it in his hand as he studied you. “So, tell me, why is it that the shadowsinger is pacing back and forth in front of the door, cursing me under his breath, as we speak?” 

“He’s an overprotective, Illyrian bat. Just like my brother and Cassian,” you said in dismissal. 

“Hm, I’m not quite sure that’s the only reason.”

“You seem to have an obsession with Azriel, Eris. Do you want me to put in a good word for you?” You gave him a brazen smile. 

“Alright, little bird, I’ll drop it. I’m far more interested in the beautiful female sitting in front of me as it is.” You hated that your cheeks turned pink at his words. Eris was handsome with his red hair and amber eyes. Even his scent of cinnamon and vetiver was enticing. But he just wasn’t Azriel. “Will you indulge me in a game of chess as we chat?”

Glad to move on from the subject, you did just that. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Alright, that’s enough—”

You were nearly three rounds deep in a game of chess when the door burst open and Azriel came stalking inside. You jumped a bit at the intrusion as Eris’s focus stayed on the chessboard like he had anticipated this. 

You looked up at the shadowsinger who was panting, his hair in disarray. His eyes widened as he took in the casual scene of you and Eris playing a game of chess. You raised an eyebrow at him but he only continued to glower at Eris. 

“Enough of what, shadowsinger?” Eris asked nonchalantly as he moved one of his chess pieces. 

“Enough of whatever the fuck you guys are doing,” Azriel huffed before looking at you with his arms crossed. “You’re needed back in the throne room. Now.” 

You very much doubted that, but decided to play along. You were losing this game anyways. You set your glass down on the table and stood, straightening out your gown. “Apologies, Eris, but apparently, duty calls.” 

Eris stood as well, gathering his coat that he had discarded at one point. “I should be getting back before my father grows suspicious anyways. I would very much like to do this again, Princess, if you’ll have me,” he said, grasping your hand and pressing a kiss to it like he did before. 

You gave him a slight dip of the head. “You know where to find me.”

He said his goodbyes, not without throwing a smirk in Azriel’s direction, before he disappeared, leaving only some crackling embers in his wake. You went to leave the room but Azriel reached an arm over your head and shut the door right in your face. You let out a disgruntled noise and turned around to Azriel towering over you, his gaze darkened.

“I thought I was needed in the throne room,” you said, sarcastically. 

He ignored you, keeping one hand on the door to keep it closed as he watched you. “So, you’re into Eris now? He’s a dangerous male, y/n.” 

“I think I can decide that for myself,” you snapped. “Maybe I am interested in him. What does it matter to you?”

He took a step closer, boxing you in against the door much like he had done that night. “I already told you it matters to me.” 

“You also told me to stay away from you. So why did you agree to be my guard for the next week? Why the fuck are you here?”

“Because someone has to watch over you! Especially when you decide to go strutting around in a dress like this,” he growled. “Tell me something, Princess, just who exactly did you have in mind when you put this on?”

His gloved hand trailed up the side of your thigh, to where the dress was held together with ribbon. You hated how much your skin tingled at his touch, hated the butterflies that arose in your stomach at his heated stare. Hating how your heart picked up its pace.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “If you’re implying that it was you I was thinking of, Azriel, then I’d say you think far too highly of yourself.”

“Your body says otherwise,” he growled, leaning down to whisper in your ear. 

You put both your hands on his chest and pushed him away. “No, no! You don’t get to do this, Azriel! You came to me. You came to my balcony, almost kissed me, and then disappeared for days! And then the next time I saw you, you had your tongue down Elain’s throat before running off to go fuck eachother.” 

“I didn’t fuck Elain,” he grunted. “I’ve never fucked Elain.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” 

“No…I don’t know—fuck!” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. 

“I did as you said. I left you alone like you wanted,” you spat at him. “You cannot come back to me and cast any sort of judgment on who I wish to spend my time with. You can’t come to me and act like you want me now. You had your chance and you were the one who walked away. So why won’t you just leave me alone?” 

You said the words but your heart was screaming the opposite. All you wanted was to grab him, to kiss him, to continue where you guys had left off that night. You can tell in the way he stared at you that he wanted the same. But you deserved better than that—better than this. 

“Because I can’t. I can’t stay away from you,” Azriel said. He looked unhinged, desperate. As if your mere presence caused him such conflict. His eyes were pleading you for something, but you had no idea what he even wanted. He was so hot and cold. 

So you squared your shoulders and straightened the crown on your head. 

“Well, that's your problem not mine,” you said before finally leaving the room.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Gods, the last few days had been draining. Dealing with Keir was a headache without having to also be around the brooding shadowsinger. You two hadn’t spoken to each other besides small words in passing and you tried to ignore his heavy gaze most of the time. The rest of your family had returned to Velaris after the party, leaving just you two to occupy the Moonstone Palace. Thankfully it was a rather big place which made it easier to avoid Azriel. 

But you still had half a week left with him here. 

You sank yourself further down in the bathtub, twisting your wine glass in your hand. You had a lot to think about. Your brother was crafting a response to Prince Cedric and needed your input of whether you wished to get to know him better, if you felt anything towards him. Eris had also sent you a letter today. Apparently this time he actually did have something of importance to share with you, but had also admitted to wishing to see you again. 

Perhaps it was time to move on from Azriel. Prince Cedric was handsome and kind, with his wavy blonde hair and cerulean eyes. But he lived on the continent, would eventually rule there, and you didn’t know if you could live so far away from your brother, nephew and soon to be niece. 

And then there was Eris. All the Vanserra males were annoyingly attractive and one day soon, he’d be the High Lord of Autumn. But he was complex. Half the time you didn’t even know which mask was his real personality. Was he really a kind male underneath that cruel armor he wore? Not to mention his past with your cousin.

You sighed and drank the rest of your wine before getting out of the bath. You pulled on your silk nightgown, the Palace charmed too warm to wear anything else to sleep, and dried your hair with some magic. It was late and you figured it was safe enough now to wonder about—figuring Azriel was asleep or at the very least, in his own bed chambers. 

You made your way down the vast corridors until you ended up right in front of the double doors leading into the study. Your brain was restless right now, but maybe some reading would help. You pushed the doors open and immediately wanted to curse the Mother. Of course you would jinx yourself. Of course the shadowsinger would be in the study already. 

Azriel looked up as the doors opened, his eyes finding yours. He looked…rough. His hair was in disarray, his eyes shadowed, and an almost empty bottle of whiskey sat on the small table in front of the armchair he was sitting in. You stood there for a moment, both staring at each other, until the doors slamming closed behind you made you jump. 

You let out a sigh and turned around, ready to leave, when his voice stopped you. “Don’t…Don’t leave. Please.” 

The desperation in his voice made you pause and you studied the intricate doors in front of you. You should leave. You absolutely should walk through those doors and go back to your private bed chambers. But…But this tension between the two of you was a dark cloud lingering over you. You had never had a contentious relationship with anyone in the Inner Circle. 

So you stayed, turning around and letting out a gasp as you came face to face with Azriel. You hadn’t even heard him move, hadn’t heard him even get up. You placed a hand over your heart and took a step back, putting more distance between the two of you.

He reached for you but you took another step back, sniffing the air. “You’re drunk, Az.”

“I know,” he said, darkly. “But I can’t take this shit anymore. I can’t do anything when I know how upset you are with me. I hate it, y/n. I hate that I’ve hurt you.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, upset. How could he be taking this so poorly when he was the one who caused all of this? You said nothing, just stared at him expectantly.  

“Princess…” he trailed off, staring down at you with melancholy eyes. “I…Can we please just forget about the past week? I can’t stand you being upset with me. Can we just…go back to how things used to be—before all of this?”

“How?” you breathed out. “How am I just supposed to forget?” 

How could you forget the hurt he had caused you…how could you erase the image of him and Elain stumbling into the River House in a heat of passion…by the cauldron, how could you forget about the way he treated you at training…and the night on the balcony afterwards. How?

“I don’t know,” he whispered, running a hand through his hair. He looked devastating in the dim faelights of the study, surrounded by marble bookcases and the open walls looking out towards the mountains. Even as dishelved as he was. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you. I fucked up. I should’ve never come to you that night…I should’ve never touched you.” 

Hurt flashed across your face. Had he really not wanted you that night? Had you completely misinterpreted his actions? Was he about to finally tell you he didn’t want you—that he wanted Elain and was sorry for leading you on? You didn’t know if your heart could take it…

“No, don’t…” Azriel said, seeming to notice where your thoughts had turned. “I don’t mean it like that, princess.” He reached a hand forward, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. “I did want you…I still do. But you have to understand, we can’t. This…us…it can never happen.”

“Why?” you choked out. He didn’t make any sense. If you wanted him, and he wanted you, then what the hell was stopping either of you? Was he scared of how your brother might react? If that was the case then he could just say so. You could deal with Rhys.

His hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb rubbing against the soft skin. You shouldn’t let him touch you. Shouldn’t even be so close to him. But Gods, your heart ached for his touch.

“Because,” he started, then faltered for a moment. “Because it just can’t, princess. I’m sorry.” 

You pushed his hand away from you. “You owe me more than that, Azriel! You owe me a godsdamn explanation. Why? Why can’t it happen? Because of Elain–”

“No,” he growled. “It has nothing to do with Elain. I don’t even care about Elain. I just want you—”

“I don’t think you know what you want, Azriel,” you scoffed. “You can’t stand here and say you don’t want Elain after what I witnessed between you two. I saw you, you know, in the kitchens that night. I saw you together before I even went to the continent. So don’t tell me you don’t want her, don’t care for her!” 

“It’s the truth,” he pleaded. “I swear to the Gods themselves. I don’t want Elain. I have never wanted Elain. I have never even wanted Mor. All I’ve ever wanted was you. You and only you.”

“You’re not making any sense,” you cried. “How can you even say that? I watched you pine after Mor for years! And now everything with Elain—”

“I need you to understand, princess. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to. But we cannot happen. I saw the way you looked at me and Gods, I wanted nothing other than to tell you how I felt. But you…I can never have you. So I pretended to pine after Mor for years hoping you’d move on. And then she came out to all of us, told us she preferred females, so I had to find someone else—”

“You expect me to believe that this whole time you’ve been pretending to like other girls? Mor, maybe I can believe because you never pursued her. But Elain? Azriel, I stumbled upon you guys twice! It certainly didn’t look like you were pretending.”  

“Because that night in the kitchens I was trying to make myself want her. Make myself want anyone other than you. Because I can’t have you, princess, don’t you get it! It’s fucking agony to crave you the way I do and not be able to do anything about it. So I tried, Gods, I tried to move on. But it didn’t work. We never got past what you saw. I couldn’t force myself to want her because I don’t. I don’t want anyone other than you.” 

“And what about the second time? Were you just pretending then, as well?” 

“I knew you were home that night. I had been tracking you the whole day with my shadows. After what happened between us on the balcony, I was scared you’d try to act on your feelings for me. So I purposefully sought out Elain. Purposefully led her back when I knew you’d be there to catch us. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you but I needed you to move on. Even if it meant you’d hate me.”

“I-I don’t understand,” you stuttered. “If you want me and I want you, then what’s stopping us, Azriel? Why do you keep saying you can’t have me? Is it because of my brother? Do you think he wouldn’t approve—wouldn’t think you deserving? Because you are, Az. I love—”

Azriel surged forward and pressed you against the door with a hand around your mouth, wings snapped out to their full length. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, your chest heaving.

“Don’t,” he snarled. “Don’t say it. Don’t. I won’t be able to control myself and this will all be for nothing. This will all end horribly.” 

When you made no move to say anything else, his hand slowly dropped from your mouth. You felt tears line your eyes. You felt frustrated, mad, upset. You couldn’t wrap your head around what he was trying to tell you. 

“At least tell me why, Azriel. Don’t you think I deserve that? You said you’re sorry for hurting me but can’t you see how much you’re hurting me by doing this? It hurts more to know you want me the way I want you but not enough to be with me.”

Azriel let out a groan and sank to his knees in front of you, bowing his head. “You have no idea how much I want you, princess. No idea. It is you who is in my head every single second of every single day. It is you I think about as I fall asleep and you I think about the moment I awake. I would crawl through hell on my knees just to be able to kiss you, to hold you, to love you. But I can’t….I can’t, y/n.” 

You held your breath, a few tears leaking from your eyes. This was everything you’d ever wanted. These were words he had only ever told you in your dreams. And here he was, finally saying them for real. But in the same breath, telling you that this, that you and him, would never, ever happen.

“Why?” you whispered. “Why?”

But Azriel said nothing further. Just knelt on his knees in front of you like he was praying to the Gods, his head bowed between his shoulders, his wings drooping against the floor. You waited for him to say anything, anything that might help you understand. But nothing…nothing ever came from his mouth.

You loosened a breath, your heart heavy in your chest and left.

Left Azriel on his knees in that room, with the words he said hanging over him like a death sentence.  

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

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*If you don't see your username and you asked to be tagged, it's bc it won't let me for some dumb reason.

*Hope you guys don't hate me too much!! We'll get some more Az POV soon and maybe next part we'll finally get some answersss ;)

#acotar #fanfic #azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar x reader #acotar x you #angst #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fic #azriel acotar #azriel x you #shadowsinger x reader #original character #acotar writing

[forever-rogue]

Alo!

I've got a request for a touch starved fem!reader x Joel. Where Joel doesn't like the readers touch (because he isn't into his emotions) so she starts trying to deal with it by using pillows or holding her own hand or snuggling with the heat of the sun. Once Joel finally craves the readers touch he starts to see how lonely she must feel. Hurt/comfort kinda!!

Thank youus

AN | We’ve got some hurt but a whole lotta comfort 💕

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Mild Language

Word Count | 2.8k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel Miller had never been a man to easily show his emotion. After having lost so much throughout the years, he was always ready for something else to be ripped. And he hated that about himself; he hated that he always seemed to keep a bit of a wall between himself and everyone else.

Then there was you - you'd managed to break down his walls more than he'd ever thought possible. You were such a light in his life, pure and sweet sunshine, that sometimes he was convinced you were much too good for him. But you were always there, always refusing to give up on him. And that was one of the many things he loved about you.

And you loved him too, despite the sea of differences. But there were times when you just wanted a little more. You desperately craved his touch and warmth to feel him more than what he was giving you. But you didn't know how to ask him for that. Didn't know how to break it to him and admit that you wanted more.

Instead you remained silent, you learned to depend on yourself for the touch and comfort you needed. But there were still times when you reached out to him, when you tried to push in order to see what you could pull from him. And it was never much, it still left you yearning. But you loved Joel and that was what mattered. You were sure that eventually…things would work themselves out.

They had to, right? Right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Joel?” you sat up in bed and looked around, trying to blink away the last bits of the nightmare that had woken you up. Joel’s back was to you and he was snoring softly, completely unbothered and unphased by your little outburst. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you contemplated whether or not to wake him up. After wiping away the tears that had rolled down your cheeks you laid back down. You turned towards your lover and wrapped an arm around his waist, trying to cuddle up to him. 

After a few moments he felt him stiffen before squirming out of your touch. You sighed softly before rolling onto your back and staring at the ceiling. Despite him being right next to you, you felt so incredibly lonely and sad. All you wanted was a warm and comforting touch…but it didn’t look like you were getting that tonight. You slid out of bed and padded over to the closet, opening it and pulling a big stuffed bear that you had. You brought it back over to over to the bed and slid back in, clutching it tightly against your chest. 

As much as you would have loved Joel’s touch, this would have to do for now.

When you woke up in the morning, the other side of the bed was already empty again. With a heavy heart, you reached over and brushed your arm across the bed and found that it was cold. He’d been gone for some time. You laid there for a while before managing to get up and take a shower. 

The water felt so hot and perfect against your skin that you stood there for a while, much longer than it would take to wash and condition your hair and scrub your body. You just craved the warmth right now. 

Eventually you made your way downstairs to the kitchen, the delicious smell of food hitting you all at once. Your stomach started to rumble as you walked in and found Ellie sitting at the table, nose buried in a book and Joel stood at the counter, cutting up some fresh fruit. It was little domestic moments like this that made it all worth it, even if your heart was sometimes left longing for a little more. 

“Hello baby,” Joel offered you a soft smile before moving to get you a cup of coffee without you even needing to ask. He didn’t even remember last night, which made the silent rejection sting a little bit less, “how’d you sleep?”

You took the coffee he offered you, sipping on it for a moment before shrugging lightly, “fine. Just fine.”

He took a sip of his own black coffee, watching you closely. He clearly didn’t believe you, “is everything alright?”

“Of course-”

“You’ve never been a good liar,” Ellie looked up for a moment and looked between the two of you, “don’t know why you even bother trying.”

“Ellie,” Joel tried to sound serious, but you both knew that he didn’t mean it. You couldn’t help the small smile that pulled up the corner of your mouth, “mind your business, girl.”

“I’m just sayin’,” she snorted in amusement as she closed her book and grabbed the last bit of toast off her plate, “I’m gonna go over to Dina’s. I’ll be back later, parentals.”

You gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she walked by, “have fun, Ellie Bean.”

“You too,” she threw a wave over her shoulder before running out of the house.

That left just the two of you, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. Joel wasn’t one to just let things go easily.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” you took an overly long sip of your coffee before setting the cup on the counter and taking Ellie’s abandoned seat at the table. Joel made a small before scooping all the fresh fruit he’d cut up into a bowl and bringing it over to you. He took a seat across from you before setting two forks down, “baby.”

“Jus’ had a nightmare, that’s all,” you dug into the bowl and popped a few berries into your mouth. Joel frowned but followed suit, “couldn’t sleep well.”

You hated how your voice cracked and gave you away. Joel knew that there was more that you weren’t telling him but he wasn’t sure how to get it out of you. He wasn’t exactly a man of many words and you were worried that your concerns were trivial. Besides, you would feel so stupid admitting to a man that you knew from the get wasn’t openly emotional that you craved his touch and tenderness. How were you ever supposed to admit that?

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” he asked softly, nudging your foot under the table with yours. You mustered up a tight lipped smile and nodded, “okay. Listen, I have to go out for a few days with Tommy. Are you goin’ be okay by yourself with Ellie?”

“I think we can manage a few days without you, Miller,” this time you gave him a genuine smile that him relax slightly, “it’ll basically be a vacation.”

“Hey now,” he reached across the table and gave your hand a gentle squeeze, “no need to be cruel, baby. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll be missing you too,” his eyes lit up at that confession, “so I guess that means you have to come back, huh?”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” and yeah. Maybe he wasn’t the most overtly sensitive man, but he was the man you loved so fully and completely. He was a good and loving person underneath the hardened exterior. 

“Me neither,” you promised softly, “me neither.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel had been gone for close to five days and you were missing him so much. More than you had anticipated. Ellie had been flitting back and forth between your house and Dina’s, asking sheepishly every time if she could go over. She didn’t want to leave you alone too much, but you couldn’t say no to her. She was just a teenager going through her first bout of puppy love - even if she denied it vehemently - and you wanted her to enjoy this time.

You promised her you were fine on your own, even though it was with a heavy heart. 

Joel should have been home by now but you knew that these things often didn’t go according to plan. You were trying not to worry about him, and he always insisted you didn’t need to, but that never worked. You’d always worry about your loved ones. 

When Joel did get home, it was late in the cool fall afternoon. Ellie was off doing something or other, but you were home. He’d expected that you would be up and about, not necessarily welcoming him with open arms, but…not curled up in the arm near the window. He dropped his bag by the front door and slowly made his way over to you, keeping his tread light and quiet. 

A frown crossed his features as kneeled down to study you. You were curled up like a cat, laying in the brightest spot of sunshine that you had managed to find. The stuffed bear was cuddled in your arms and clutched to your chest, a blanket draped over your legs. The corners of your mouth were tugged down and for some reason, he knew exactly what was going on. You were searching for the comfort and warmth that you so desperately craved.

Tender touches that he never offered you. He grimaced at himself and scrubbed a hand over his tired face. You asked for so little and the thing you wanted most, he couldn’t even give you that much. 

Joel hadn’t realized just how much you yearned for him until the places were swapped. His trip with Tommy had been the longest he’d been away from you since you’d gotten together. He hated being away from you and from Ellie, but he knew that sometimes it had to be done. Usually it just served to remind him how much he loved and needed you. He was okay on his own, but he was better with you. 

He reached down and gently stroked your cheek, trying his best not to wake you up. Joel headed to put his bag away and shower and change into clean clothes. When he got back downstairs, you were still fast asleep but snoring softly, which brought a small smile to his face. He made his way into the kitchen and looked through everything, gathering ingredients to make dinner and dessert. It wasn’t much, he reckoned, but it was something.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

By the time you woke up, the sun had set and you were surrounded by the soft glow of the living room lamp. A delicious cacophony of smells hit you, and you sat up, rubbing the remaining bits of sleep from your eyes. You heard some soft humming coming from the kitchen and slowly stood up, setting down your bear and blanket down in the chair.

“Joel?” you called out his name softly as peeked into the kitchen. You found him at the stove, mixing away but as soon as he saw you, he turned around and stopped what he was doing, a giant smile on his face. You couldn’t help but match his smile as you took a few steps closer. He mirrored your actions and it was only a few moments before he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a tight, warm hug. It felt so good to feel his warmth and touch. 

“Hi baby,” he pressed a few kisses to the side of your head; you could almost feel him physically melting and preening into your touch. He pulled back and took your face in his hands, looking you over before gently pressing a few kisses to your lips, “I missed you so much.”

“Oh,” that was enough to almost bring tears to your eyes. He missed you like you missed him, “I missed you too, Joel. A lot. ‘m glad you’re home, love.” 

“Me too,” he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a soft sigh. You could tell that was on his mind, but didn’t want to press him. He usually always ended up telling you exactly what was wrong, “baby…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” you chirped back at him and he nodded slowly, taking a step back and leaning against the counter. You could see his shoulders slumped as he hung his head, “whatever are you sorry for?”

“For how I’ve been treating you,” he peeked up and caught your eye, only to find a confused expression on your face. You were so sweet, so kind and selfless that you didn’t even know.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reached over and gently touched his cheek, brushing your knuckles over the warm skin, “tell me.”

“You…I know I’m not a touchy, warm feelings type of man,” a surprised look flickered across your features as you swallowed thickly. You thought you had hid and masked your disappointment so well, but apparently you hadn’t been as subtle as you thought, “I never really have been, and that has ever had anything to do with you. It’s been me.”

“Joel, I-”

“Hold on baby, please,” he gently put his arms on your biceps and gently squeezed them, “let me finish, or else I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get all of this out there. Okay?”

“Okay,” your lip twitched up in a small little half smile, “go on then, love.”

“I know there were times when you’d come closer to me or I could feel that you were wanting more, the touch and love I wasn’t giving you. It hurt me too sometimes because it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. But, I’m a lot of things, probably including  an ass, but I’m also selfish. And I never wanted to let you go.”

You wanted to interrupt, but decided against it, nudging him gently to go on. 

“But I could tell that it’s - I’ve - been letting you. Not giving you what you need or deserve,” he let out a nervous exhale and the room grew so quiet that you could hear the soft ticking of the clock and children laughing and screaming in the distance. It seemed like such a long time before he said anything, “I didn’t realize how much it could have affected you. But then, while I was off with Tommy, I realized…how much I missed you.”

“Me?”

“You, of course you,” he reached up and put his hand on the back of your neck, this thumb stroking gently against your skin, “I realized just how much I missed your touch and love a-and everything. I wanted nothing more than your touch and warmth. I realized that if I missed it that much, I can’t even imagine how much you were missing it. So, I’m sorry for never realizing, and sorry for never giving it back to you.”

“Oh,” you looked at him with wide eyes, opening and closing your mouth a few times. You hadn’t expected him to ever get to that realization and the fact that he was so cognizant about it made your heart swell a few sizes, “oh. Joel, that’s…..wow. I, umm…I never wanted to ask for more. I didn’t want to push you or make you uncomfortable.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” he asked softly and you couldn’t help the scoff that escaped your lips. Breaking things off with Joel had never even crossed your mind…it might have been one of the very last things on your mind truthfully.

“Joel, I love you - I’m in love with you,” it was like you had said some sort of magic words because his entire face lit up. His big brown eyes grew softer and a tired smile crossed his lips, “just because we have different things we need and crave doesn’t mean we need to break up. We love each other, and that’s what matters. Everything else works itself out.”

“I want to do better,” he whispered as you shook your head at him, “l’m going to try and do better. Just…you know I’m slow with things sometimes. I might need you to help me out for a bit and tell me what you need. I’m a fast learner though so…”

“Okay,” you were smiling now, a pretty thing that made Joel’s tummy flip and made him want to pepper your face in kisses, “I can do that. Promise me you’ll do the same thing?”

“Of course,” he agreed softly, “of course. I promise.”

“Good,” you put your hand on his chest and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek, “now c’mon. Let’s finish dinner and dessert. Ellie should be home soon and I know she’s been missing you too.”

“Considering how much I missed my girls, I’d hoped she missed me,” the two of you were grinning at each other like fools - but you wouldn’t have it any other way, “I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you too, Joel. Lots and lots.”

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #tlou

[totaly-obsessed]

Watch it!

Kyra Cooney-Cross x reader request

-> Kyra can only keep her relationship a secret for so long...

-> A little shorter

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

When Kyra joined you at Arsenal both of you could not have been happier, but while you were already an established part of the team and already made a name for yourself in the WSL after joining Arsenal after two seasons at Chelsea, Kyra was new in the league.

So in a joint decision, you decided to keep your relationship private for now. Not a secret, but private. But it was so funny seeing the girls trying to find out who your girlfriend was, and trying to set Kyra up on a date.

As time went on Kyra’s title of ‘annoying little sister’ was slowly set in stone and it did not make her happy. Why couldn’t she just be Kyra – a good, young footballer who was new to the team?

So then she started to actively hide your relationship – even going as far as to ignore you in training, only talking again when she came home to your shared apartment and it was starting to take a toll on you.

But either Kyra didn’t see it or she just didn’t care – even after you tried to talk about it with her she brushed you off, stating that she was meeting up with Charlie, your joined friend, who has just joined you in London.

Conversations got rarer and frosty dinners more often. You hated this. She had to dislike it too, right? No one would like to sit in a quiet, stuffy, tense room. Not even with their girlfriend.

Before the much dreaded Manchester City game you were faced with a screaming Kyra – who had enough of your complaints, so it was safe to say, that the atmosphere was tense once your girlfriend walked in with Katie and Caitlin.

The couple had picked the brunette up at your home after she had refused to enter your cars and decided to make a scene.

Everybody noticed the difference – Steph and Caitlin had already been confused, the two of you had been such good friends in Australia, and the World Cup camp was filled with giggles as you pranked one Matilda after the other. Even Mini didn’t know what happened and Kyra tended to tell her everything.

The match was brutal and your girlfriend couldn’t help but wince every time you went down after a tackle from the opponent. And while you got up every time, she couldn’t bear to watch, trying to keep herself busy somehow.

It was a 0 – 0 deadlock in the 70th minute when Kyra had been subbed on for Kim, who was still struggling a little after her injury. And just a couple of minutes later her worst nightmare came true.

You went in for a header against Alex Greenwood, but the ball rebounded off of someone’s head – who wasn’t important to the young Australian, as she watched her girlfriend immediately crash to the ground after colliding.

Alex stayed down as well.

Fuck there was a lot of blood.

And before she could even think about it Kyra started to sprint across the pitch, and Steph could have sworn she had never seen her young friend that fast.

“Babe? Are you okay?”

You weren’t – evident by the lack of an answer. She quickly noticed your unconscious state and immediately fell to her knees next to you. Shaky hands pulled down your shirt, trying to keep you safe from the stares of the viewers.

“You’re gonna be okay my love – I promise.”

While your teammates noticed the suddenly very affectionate nicknames, there were more pressing matters at hand, you were still bleeding from your forehead.

The medics took a look at you and quickly decided that getting you on a stretcher and off the field was their best option.

Getting you on that dreaded, bright orange thing was a slow process and the paramedics were as careful as they could but a quiet, painful moan left your lips as your eyes cracked open.

You could hear Kyra crying somewhere in the area around your head, while you could see the other girls by your feet, as you were carried away, every step shaking your whole body, releasing a new wave of pain originating from your head.

But it was going fine, until one of the people that were carrying the stretcher slipped, letting go briefly of his corner, sending you into a tilted position. The pain-filled cry could be heard in the deadly silent stands.

“Watch it you fuck – that’s my girlfriend!”

Heads snapped to Kyra, who didn’t even look away from the guy who let go of you.

“Out of my way.” And just like that your girlfriend took over and Jonas had to look for another person to sub in.

“Don’t think you’ll get away with this young lady!” But Steph’s shout was completely ignored as you left behind a stunned Arsenal team who had just figured out, that you and Kyra did in fact not hate each other.

#woso x reader #woso #woso imagine #woso imagines #arsenal wfc x reader #kyra cooney cross x reader #kyra cooney cross #matildas x reader #matildas #tillies