#no one cares amy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alevolpe · 2 months

Note

So I just read your HCs, and I love how you characterized Ami as having autism. She was always my favorite character-- we even share a birthday-- and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who sees her as being on the autism spectrum.

I'm also not ashamed to admit that I teared up a little reading what happened to Luna. I love the relationship Ami and Luna have, both in the actual show and in your headcanon.

Thank you so much!!

I love that more people are open to the autistic Ami hc now. It was always a bit of a no brainer to me, but I understand why some people pushed the idea away.

That said I love her. I've mentioned before that even back a year ago Ami was prob my 4th or 5th fav, but getting to draw her and write her more and more (and a bit of Makoami magic lol) she has srly grown on me. She's still not my fav, Mako my beloved, but she has a serious soft spot in my heart, I go back to her a lot for comfort.

So I'm always so super happy when people tell me they like my characterization of Ami.💙

Her and Luna's relationship is something I srly wanna explore more.

I see Ami as an outcast, but not really cause her peers actively dislike her, but cause Ami has chosen to distance herself from them, deciding to focus on her studies and academics instead.

This lack of interaction with people her own age has made it difficult for her to relate with them, being actually much easier to interact with people older than her (since that level of informality is never broken and that's where Ami is at her most comfortable).

I see Luna as a middle-aged woman at least and for her, connecting with Ami was easy since the beginning, even if it took her a bit for Ami to warm up to the idea of this 'new reality'. Ami does not want to do this. She said it to Luna since the beginning, initially refusing to aid her and turning her back on Luna's offer to become a senshi.

Though Luna stuck around, not only cause this is her mission, but also because she saw a loneliness within Ami (despite Luna's mission being JUST to reawaken the senshi, she couldn't overcome her maternal instincts). Ami is initially perplexed by this, but slowly starts to warm up to Luna, enjoying her company, her talks, her advice, her compliments, affirmations..

I can see a conflict within Luna at this point, coming to care about this girl, but feeling extremely guilty about her behavior, being very easy to be read as, well, grooming, for a lack of a better term. Tho Luna genuinely cares.

I think multiple factors influenced Ami to finally try being a senshi a go. Seeing someone being attacked by monster (which had Ami initially just simply ran away from it, Ami's but a simple human, powers or not, she's scared), an odd sense of responsibility put on her (Ami being an extreme people pleaser, if an authority entaskes her with something, she feels a sense of duty and drive to make the person proud), but ultimately I think the major factor was Luna.

Luna is the primary reason Ami became a senshi (refresher to the join order of the girls in my AU: Ami awakens first with Luna, then Rei joins, then Usagi). It's not easy, in fact it puts a severe strain on her, both physically and mentally, but Ami pushes through, for Luna. Eventually made easier (and harder in some ways) by the avdent of Rei joining the team.

Loosing Luna is something that will keep resonating withAmi throughout the series. It's like loosing a second mother, especially since Saeko has been fairly absent through her life (though Saeko will be more present, suspecting something is up with her daughter and she will genuinely try to "mother", Saeko is a disaster, in many ways more than Ami herself).

She will start asking herself why she is even doing this anymore, since Luna's not here, who is she even fighting for anymore? It's a very selfish question, she's aware, but I think it's a form of coping from her part.

Despite asking such a question constantly, she never makes to leave, she would never, she knows she can't, cause she cares too much about her friends. She knows she's now fighting for them too, but this would be the first time such thought would be a conscious reflection in her mind, having had Luna be such a central staple on her mind for so long.

Unknowingly, Luna had eased her among loving peers. It was never all easy, they had fights and they will have more, but Ami finally belongs. It's a bitter sweet feeling for her.

Ami loves her team.

At this point, she cares so much about Usagi, being the first to show her how to "friend". Starting as just an odd aloof girl that joined her team, to seeing her as a girl who always strives to make others happy. Bringing cheerfulness into team since the very first day, something that Ami became so accustomed to, she would never realize how much she would miss it til having to go back to an empty apartment, color seeming to drain along the walls in the lack of her presence. A simple genuine smile, something that seems so simple, yet so rare, Ami cherishes it so dearly.

And Rei.. Rei's complicated, she likes to make herself as such. Ever since the beginning, Rei seemed cold, refusing Luna's offer like Ami had done prior. Though this time, Luna just seemed to run in a wall every time she went to the temple. Talks, explanations, pleads, bargains, nothing seemed to work.

"I can talk to her if you'd like"

She really didn't want to, but for Luna, she will. The talk went as well as you expected it, an incredibly frustrated Rei trying to deal with recent accusations of her temple attracting mysterious attacks on students. Despite that, Rei didn't try to physically ward off Ami like she did with Luna many times (Luna is still pretty scared of that broom).

"Did that dumb cat send you? Listen, I have a job to do here, so you either get to the point or you get out of my way."

...

"So?"

"My name is Ami, Ami Mizuno" offering her hand to Rei to shake.

...

*Sigh*, Rei unashamedly pinching her nose in frustration. "If I shake your hand will you tell that dumb cat to-"

"Luna"

"What?"

"Her name is Luna"

"Yes! I know her name! She's been harrassing me in my own house for the last 2 weeks! Alright, listen. I don't know what kind of program you guys are a part of and I have no interest to know, but let me put this into clear terms so that maybe an actual 'person' might understand this better than a stupid cat. NO! Now scram, I'm busy!"

.. "..." "ok" bowing and turning to leave.

That night, something akin to guilt seemed to boil within a restless Rei Hino. She knew it wasn't due to how she confronted the girl, she had all rights to be angry! Tho a seemingly related vision of the girl with blue hair, lying perfectly still in a pool of what seemed to be her own blood stuck with her.

Rei will tell herself that she joined the team to get Luna to stop harrassing her and that the team NEEDS her. Like, come on, how is such a team meant to go on without the grandiose Rei Hino leading them to victory?! Earth would have no shot. HA!

Rei would never admit part of the reason she did join, was Ami, seeing the girl get hurt, or possibly killed, haunted her. She blamed Luna for this. Ami should've never been a part of this. Ami's weaker, almost fragile combat figure seemed like a cruel joke to Rei. Seeing the girl even shivering from her powers (Ami's not immune to her own powers), the small girl curled up into a ball in a desperate attempt to keep herself warm in a relatively cool night. With a loud sigh and exaggerated movements, Mars made to cup Mercury's hands.

Ami, being obviously perplexed and put off by this, but almost too weak to pull back, finding comfort in her companion's warmth after having to endure numerous and stressful post-fight recory sessions with nothing but the comfort of helpless Luna offering her kind words of encouragement.

It would take a while for both Ami and Rei to fully come to terms to the idea that they were 'friends'. When the newly recruited Usagi asked, Ami had no answer ready, which is extremely unusual of her. 'Friends? Are me and Rei friends? We're companions, teammates, we never really hang out outside of missions or just studying silently at the temple', though Ami enjoyed her presence. Except when Rei was needlessly rude to Luna, Ami enjoyed being around her. It didn't feel quite as lonely, even if they never openly spoke about their lives, hobbies, families... 'I guess we're not friends'.

Ami hated being so logical at times, but she couldn't help it.

Throughout the season and into season 2, this relationship between the two grew stronger, especially due to the 'Usagi' phenomenon LOL. Making it so effortless to bridge the two into more intimate moments outside of uniform. A mission to check on an amusement park became a fond memory for Ami. A picture taken of the 3, looking so much like the pictures she'd see of her school piers sharing among each other of their 'hangouts'. Funny how that worked.

Rei and Ami's friendship would def have its highs and lows, mostly stemming from Luna and how differently each girl would see her. Ami being very capable of holding a grudge toward Rei's treatment of her. All of it reaching a terrible boiling point at the moment of Luna's death and discovering about Rei vision. Again, Ami was absolutely blinded by rage and grief. She loved Rei. Rei's no murderer, but she let her primal emotions take over and with the events of season 2 after that, the two never got a moment to grief or a moment to reconcile. Rei still holding a massive grudge toward Ami, refusing to even speak to her outside of sailor business, while Ami is eaten by grief and guilt.

Mako being her main source of comfort at this point (Usagi tries, but she also has her own demons to fight still). The previously mostly unknown, if nice, tall girl that joined her team late, seeming to take steps to take care of a broken Ami, offering support, food, and and a shoulder to cry on.

Luna's influence will be felt by the team and not forgotten. Ami especially will carry her momery forever.

Idek why I wrote ell this LOL. I feel inspired at times , srry 😅.

Thank you for the ask <3.

#ask me stuff #luna #ami mizuno #usagi tsukino #rei hino #Rei and Ami's friendship is a very unconventional one but not less strong than others #they are both awkward introversts bad at words and expressing emotions #but they care so much about each other #even if a hug between them is rare. Rei the cactusbdoesnt like higs and Ami is awkward at initiating contact cause she knows Rei #doesn't like being hugged #just shows hwonmany layers of they are oushing to the sidenin order to give priority to showing their purest form of love and compassion #they can at that moment #i luv them

20 notes · View notes

m00n-pr1sm · 7 months

Text

Amy Dunne Character Analysis

Disclaimer

This analysis will be of Amy’s character from both the book and the movie, although the 2014 movie adaption takes greater precedence with only some additional details and quotes included from the book as it does delve deeper into Amy’s psyche and add further characterization. Thus some traits may be accentuated further than they are in the movie, not being completely faithful to either story. It’s an analysis of Amy in her totality across mediums, of course being entirely my opinion. There are of course adaptational differences but I will not include the major ones from the books (ex. her relationship with Hillary Hand). This is an analysis focusing primarily on Amy’s neuroses she demonstrates and the childhood links to them, it doesn’t cover in-depth the events nor themes of Gone Girl.

Amy Elliott Dunne, the ever enigmatic protagonist of Gone Girl, one of the most iconic female villains in modern memory, and one of the paragons of the “good for her” trope in media, is frankly one of my favorite characters of all time. As such I have been dying to write a full analysis examining her neuroses and characterization. Beneath the cultural perception of just another “crazy psycho” for girls to claim “she did no wrong” or “she just like me fr!”, lies a fascinating character who is masterfully written and developed by Gillian Flynn. Not to mention perfectly portrayed by Rosamund Pike in the movie. Amy Dunne is a character with a deep, complex psychology that I will do my best to thoroughly explore in this analysis.

From Amy’s childhood we first see the emergence of a literal high ego ideal, Amazing Amy. Of course this is the children’s book series created by her parents with a fictionalized version of Amy being the eponymous protagonist. This was a version of herself that rectified her own personal failures. Amazing Amy became a prodigy at cello, when Amy quit at 10, Amazing Amy made varsity volleyball, Amy got cut freshman year. Even in the (at time) final book in the series, Amazing Amy got married, a task Amy had not yet done. The entire book series revolved around Amy always making the most virtuous, the most selfless, the most perfect decisions.

>”With me, regular, flawed, real Amy, jealous, as always, of the golden child.”

An interesting detail in the book that is omitted from the movie is Marybeth’s numerous miscarriages and stillbirths (which totaled 7). All of these girls were named Hope, until Amy was born. Amy expresses her jealousy towards them, as they were always seen as perfect without ever living; meanwhile Amy herself has to live life everyday knowing that she will never truly live up to the Hopes. That she has to try everyday to be the best she can be. Her very birth was mired in the expectation of a perfect child; given that she was practically a gift from the heavens to her parents.

This sets up Amy’s perfectionism, as the childhood experience of never living up to a projected ideal led her to want to be perfect (and as we’ll later see, the expectation that everyone else is too), to live life always through the gaze of another. Evidently this leads to a loss of one’s inner essence, one’s individuality and sense of self.

>“-I’d never really felt like a person, because I was always a product” (Book Quote)

Amy’s obsession with personas can be seen as emerging from this, as she adapts a personality depending on who she’s interacting with, as to always be the most appealing she can, she is Amazing Amy after all.

>”I’m not sure, exactly, how to be Dead Amy. I’m trying to figure out what that means for me, what I become for the next few months. Anyone, I suppose, except people I’ve already been: Amazing Amy. Preppy ’80s Girl. Ultimate-Frisbee Granola and Blushing Ingenue and Witty Hepburnian Sophisticate. Brainy Ironic Girl and Boho Babe (the latest version of Frisbee Granola). Cool Girl and Loved Wife and Unloved Wife and Vengeful Scorned Wife. Diary Amy.” (Book Quote)

This general attitude leads to people trying to impress her as she places herself as someone special and especially someone to keep around. Not to mention she’s incredibly pretty and alluring. Enticing both the characters and viewers of the film through her enchanting aura. However we’ll see this dramatically backfire in her relationship with Nick, just you wait!

However for now we can focus on the beginning of their relationship as well as what I believe to be Amy’s view on romance.

I believe that Amy has an impossibly high standard of love, one that stems from her perfectionism and general inability to let down her guise of being amazing. Not to mention how her parents were a perfect match, Amy even referring to them as soul-mates.

>”They have no harsh edges with each other, no spiny conflicts, they ride through life like conjoined jellyfish—expanding and contracting instinctively, filling each other’s spaces liquidly. Making it look easy, the soul-mate thing.” (Book Quote)

In her childhood it’s implied that she was into romance novels, specifically Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, which obviously contributes to the idealization of romance, of a literal scripted love.

>”You were an alienated teen and only Elizabeth Bennet understood you”

I think this little quote is incredibly indicative; it establishes a sense of alienation, of Amy never quite fitting in and blending with others.

>”So many lessons and opportunities and advantages, and they never taught me how to be happy. I remember always being baffled by other children. I would be at a birthday party and watch the other kids giggling and making faces, and I would try to do that too, but I wouldn’t understand why. I would sit there with the tight elastic thread of the birthday hat parting the pudge of my underchin, with the grainy frosting of the cake bluing my teeth, and I would try to figure out why it was fun.” (Book Quote)

Back to the topic of romance, through these stories it allowed her to imagine her perfect romance: if Amy could find that one person that truly understood her, beyond the illusion, that then would constitute a perfect union of love. She does deep down (whether consciously or not) want to be loved for who she is; not the idealized, palatable, literal marketed version of herself. Thus she holds trust as a premium, expecting that if she does the Herculean task of unspooling and revealing herself to another, that the other person would love her no matter what.

>”Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?” (Book Quote)

However all of this culminates in an impossibly high standard of a lover, of a practically divine mythical love; where one loves totally and absolutely. Of course where this neurosis is most demonstrated is in Nick and Amy’s relationship.

Amy comments that after meeting Nick she finally felt like a person as he brought out a side of herself that hadn’t been seen, in her own words “a lightness and an ease”, something that Amy enjoyed. In her eyes they had the perfect relationship in the beginning, Nick was her compliment with the witty banter, with their inside jokes, and charm.

However this doesn’t just vanquish her childhood neuroses, through her desire to be seen as perfect, she modifies herself to be a “cool girl” for Nick, complying endlessly to standards to maintain this perception.

>” When I met Nick Dunne, I knew he wanted a cool girl and for him, I’ll admit, I was willing to try.”

Amy essentially became Nick’s image of a perfect girl, witty, fun, and most of all easy-going and forgiving.

Yet one cannot live forever in images and ideas; and as such, the real, true Amy emerged. The Amy that cares too much, that’s hard to get along with, that is a controlling perfectionist. She also tests Nick through the treasure hunts, weaving in little details about their relationship as to challenge Nick and hope that he remembers the things they do together as deeply as she does. Combined with the 2008 recession and declining health of Nick’s mother (the consequences of which will be explored later). As well as Nick’s growing dissatisfaction in the relationship (evidenced by his worsening performances in the treasure hunts, the cheating, using her for sex and ignoring her otherwise, etc). The illusion both Nick and Amy were living in crumbled; they couldn’t possibly sustain their relationship as they were both striving to fulfill reciprocating images for the other.

One of the biggest parts of her character is Amy’s elitism and entitlement, in which she thinks of herself as someone superior, someone that deserves to be loved absolutely for who she is, although only to people she considers worthy.

>”She’s easy to like. I’ve never understood why that’s considered a compliment—that just anyone could like you.” (Book Quote)

Once again this stems from her childhood, in a seemingly contradictory way, she also sees herself as special for being the one that survived from her mother’s attempts, as well as the fact that her birth was so tumultuous that she would be an only child. From this also stems her entitlement for love.

Amy actively looks down upon women she considers “average”, whom she sees as coming from mediocrity and continuously perpetuating that in their lives. She scoffs at them with her wealthy parents and NYC background until her marriage with Nick crumbles. Only then does she realize that she’s become the very woman she would previously disdain. A woman with a failing marriage, the loss of her previous wealth following the recession, and moving to a failed development in Missouri (What the hell’s in Missouri?) for Nick’s mother.

I truly believe this, combined with Nick’s infidelity, and most importantly the loss of her idyllic love culminated in the iconic Gone Girl plan.

>”Nick took and took from me until I no longer existed, that’s murder. Let the punishment fit the crime”.

Nick took Amy’s identity, her sense of self that she so generously revealed to him and rejected her. Implying that she would only be loved if played the role of the “cool girl”; stripping her of who she really was, losing herself in yet another persona. Although Amy admits she doesn’t really have a personality and lives through personas, she still has a semblance of self that she holds dear.

>”-made me realize that there was a Real Amy in there, and she was so much better, more interesting and complicated and challenging, than Cool Amy”. (Book Quote)

Worse yet, Nick had cheated on her with a “newer, younger, bouncer Cool Girl”, leaving Amy in the dust, surely damaging her pride.

But Amy truly fell in love with her idealized version of Nick, believing that she was responsible for shaping that version of Nick. That she deserved that man in his entirety, of course what gets Amy to come back to Nick is the Sharon Scheiber interview, in which he promises to make up with Amy in just the way that makes her think that Nick is the one person who gets her. He makes the little references to their inside jokes (2 fingers on the chin when they’re not bullshitting the other) and a reference to the end of the treasure hunt (always a contentious issue in their relationship). She’s reminded of who he was, that he was once perfect for her, who else could know how to appeal to her heart in just the right way? With the same passion and conviction she reverses the judgment on Nick, clawing her way back to him. She does so in an especially brutal manner, slashing Desi’s throat with a boxcutter right after he climaxes. Putting aside my enormous personal bias against Desi, he was technically an innocent man, taking a great risk in sheltering Amy. However it’s clear that Amy sees him as merely an asset and something to be disposed of once he serves his value, as another prop in her ever evolving masterplan; she did string him along for years through their letter correspondences. He was just another casualty in Amy’s search for idyllic love. She comes back dramatically, literally falling into Nick’s arms while still covered in Desi’s blood like a dress; fabricating an elaborate story about a love obsessed former boyfriend kidnapping and violating her. Despite the glaring holes in her whole story (If Amy’s marriage was as bad as she made it out to be, why did she go back to Nick so easily? How did she get access to a knife and kill him so seamlessly? Why didn’t Amy do anything when she discovered the stuff in Margo’s shed? etc), law enforcement, media, and the public all fully believe it, infatuated with the persona and narrative that Amy’s created for herself. In the end she traps Nick into the marriage and eventually, the family. The last shot of the film is a haunting recall to the beginning shot of the film, as Amy has both revealed and secured herself to be the master of the narrative, finally obtaining her perfect love, no matter what the cost may have been.

Conclusion

Through a constant demand in Amy’s childhood emerges a need for perfection, simultaneously bringing about a sense of superiority and entitlement. The use of personas and façades facilitate this, painting Amy as the most amazing cool girl for whomever she’s performing for, to feed her need to be seen as perfect and desirable. Yet there emerges a psychological detachment from others; as the need to perform inevitably leads to an internal hollowness. However underneath all these layers there also lies the true Amy who has the deep unconscious desire of wanting to be loved absolutely, to have a perfect union of love where she can reveal herself fully and be loved for who she is truly.

>disclaimer for tumblr lol, this is not me trying to claim Amy was innocent I am fully aware that she’s a terribly entitled and narcissistic person but she can still be complex and have relatable desires & be a person even if she’s massively fucked up!!

#amy dunne #gone girl #gillian flynn #I love Amy Dunne so much #my little meow meow #analysis #character analysis #final draft of the analysis me thinks!!#unless I rewrite the conclusion which is very likely :P #I want to write one comparing the book to the movie #and speak on those said adaptional differences #my gone girl brainrot is terminal #(no I never referenced her typology in this whatttttt…..)#this doesn’t have much commentary into real life stuff (I am e5 ni base I can’t speak on such matters)#this is just a -why Amy is fucked up and the way she is- analysis #Also I don’t care if Amy isn’t actually that much of a she just like me fr character. I’ve said it okay and I’m a teenage girl (checkmate)#also b4 anyone comes for me & is like Amy literally says she doesn't believe in unconditional love #so then y would she crave it/doesn't that disprove ur point #well 1. she's unreliable as FUCK 2. note my use of unconscious!!

43 notes · View notes