#not just cause the song title is befitting for him but also because its a song about having to be your own hero

[irafuwas]

BUMP OF CHICKEN - 「Aurora」

もうきっと多分大丈夫 どこが痛いか分かったからね 自分で涙拾えたら いつか魔法に変えられる

i'm sure everything's gonna be okay 'cause you realized where it hurts, right? if you can gather up your tears, they'll transform into magic someday

ほんの少し忘れていたね とても長かった ほんの少し お日様がない時は クレヨンで世界に創り出したでしょう

you just forgot for a little while, is all for a really long little while on that dark, dark day didn't you use your crayons to dream up the sun into the sky?

正義の味方には見つけて貰えなかった類 探しに行かなくちゃ 呼び合い続けた あの声だよ

even though your knight in shining armor never came you still gotta go look for that voice that always called out to you

溜め息にもなれなかった 名前さえ持たない思いが 心の一番奥の方 爪を立てて 堪えていたんだ 触れて確かめられたら 形と音が分かるよ 伝えたい言葉はいつだって そうやって見つけてきた

those nameless thoughts that couldn't even muster themselves into a sigh they lay deep in your heart, lashing out around them and they waited if you can reach out and touch them then you'll understand just what they are that's how you always end up finding the words to say what you want to say

振り返れば途切れずに 歪な線を描く足跡 悲しいくらい分かりやすく いつもここに向けて伸びる

if you look back, you'll see the the footprints you left behind still in that unbroken, crooked line it's sad, how easy it is to understand that they'll always be there, heading towards today

大切にするのは下手でも 大切だって事は分かっている せめてその白い手紙が 正しく届きますように

i'm not good at treasuring things but i know this is important to you i hope at least your letter will get to where it needs to go

考え過ぎじゃないよ そういう闇の中にいて 勇気の眼差しで 次の足場を探しているだけ

you're not overthinking it when you're in that dark place all you're doing is being brave and looking for the next step to take

解き放て あなたの声で 光る羽根与えた思いを その足が向かうべき先へ そうしなきゃ見えなかった未来へ 諦めなかった事を 誰よりも知っているのは 羽ばたいた言葉のひとつひとつ 必ず届きますように

your voice gave all those thoughts and feelings you kept bottled up inside their shining wings now it's time to set them free and for you to go down the path you're meant to take - to that future you've never been able to see before each and every one of your words knows better than anyone else that you didn't give up now look as they take wing i pray they'll reach where they need to go

もう一度 もう一度 クレヨンで 好きなように もう一度 さあどうぞ 好きな色で 透明に (Aah) もう一度 もう一度 クレヨンで この世界に 今こそ さあどうぞ 魔法に変えられる

one more time, just one more time pick up that crayon, and draw whatever you want just once more, go ahead use any color you like, that transparent sky is your canvass once more, just once more make the world what you want it to be now's your chance, so go ahead. it'll transform into magic

ああ、なぜ、どうして、と繰り返して それでも続けてきただろう 心の一番奥の方 涙は炎 向き合う時が来た 触れて確かめられたら 形と音をくれるよ あなたの言葉がいつだって あなたを探してきた そうやって見つけてきた

you kept on asking yourself, "why? just why?" but still you kept on going, didn't you? in the deepest depths of your heart your tears burst into flame and now it's time for you to face them head on if you can reach out and touch them, then you'll understand just who you are your words have always been looking for you and that's how they found you

もう一度 もう一度 クレヨンで 好きなように もう一度 さあどうぞ 好きな色で 透明に (Aah) もう一度 もう一度 クレヨンで この世界に 今こそ さあどうぞ 魔法に変えられる

one more time, just one more time pick up that crayon, and draw whatever you want just once more, go ahead use any color you like, that transparent sky is your canvass once more, just once more make the world what you want it to be now's your chance, so go ahead. it'll transform into magic

#song tl #my tl #bump of chicken #silver #this is like his theme song to me #not just cause the song title is befitting for him but also because its a song about having to be your own hero #and pushing forward even when everything seems to be against you. he perseveres against his sleeping curse and his limitations #as a human in a world of fae. we saw in his dorm vignette he really does feel bad about what people think of him #but still he doesn't give up!! he still tries so so hard #and the song is also about coming to understand just how powerful your words are #silver has such a hard time figuring out how to say what he wants to say but when he does find his words- #-like when he stood up to malleus and lilia in endless halloween- #i feel like it matches perfectly with the songs lines about how your words have always been looking for you #and they know better than anyone else that you never gave up #i also like to think this is lilia talking to silver and encouraging him to keep going on like he did in ch5

[inksmellsnice]

Warnings: Major Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame Title: On Relativity Rating: T (Mild language, alcohol mention.) Words: 1900 Pairing: StarMora is mentioned but is really not the point. Summary: Set after Avengers: Endgame in a theoretical first act for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3. Quill loves his family and would do anything to protect them. Rocket loves his family and would do anything to protect them. So, naturally, they have a fight over it. External Reading: FFN, AO3

“Guys… I’ve got her.”

Everything froze. Drax’s epic story to Mantis about his arena days. Mantis’ giddy yammering as she absorbed her friend’s excitement. Nebula grunting as she failed to get the high score in Arcade Defender. Groot’s backseat gaming. Thor’s never-ending questions about space. Rocket’s never-ending answers as he tinkered with something explosive.

It took a moment for the (As)Guardians of the Galaxy to process that they’d actually heard Quill say what they thought he’d said before the six nearly trampled each other to get a better view of Quill’s monitor and the odd life signal flickering in and out next to an old mugshot of Gamora.

“Are you certain?” Drax asked.

“That’s her,” Quill replied, his hands trembling and one slowly reaching towards his long-missing girlfriend’s photo on the screen. “Exact DNA scan. It took forever but this could only be her.” Quill shot back down into his seat and started working the Benatar’s controls. “Setting course now. Get ready for 3 jumps.”

“I am Groot?”

“I don’t know. Some mudball in the Helgentar System called Vormir.”

Nebula, Thor, and Rocket shared a look that Mantis didn’t have a chance to ask about before Quill continued. “Jumping in 5, 4-”

“Wait.” Quill stopped with his finger an inch from the jump button. He didn’t move it when he looked over at Rocket, perplexed. “What? What’s the problem?”

“That ain’t just some mudball; it’s where the Soul Stone is.”

“...What?”

Thor glanced between Rocket and Quill, debating if he should speak but knowing he could not keep such important information from his new team… and also knowing who else might yet be alive if his hunch was correct. “That would make sense. Maybe.”

Strange for this group, nobody interjected, so Thor continued. “There is a legend about the Soul Stone among my people, in which it can not only control souls but also house them. There is said to be an entire alternate world inside of that stone. If such a place does exist, it’s possible that’s where your friend has found herself.”

“So you’re saying that if we want to find Gamora, we need to go for Vormir,” Quill’s hand was now a centimeter from the jump button, “get inside the Soul Stone, and bring her out?”

“Assuming the legend is true, yes.”

“Well, I guess we’re going to Vormir to find ou-”

“Quill, would you slow down for a second, please?” Rocket pleaded.

Quill blinked at Rocket actually displaying manners. His finger was now close enough to the jump button that an accidental twitch could fling them across the Galaxy.

“This is an Infinity Stone we’re talking about. Remember? We all held one on Xandar and would have died if your mom hadn’t gotten knocked up by an all-powerful planet? One of those things that Thanos used to cause pretty much the worst day ever? The one that specifically got Gamora killed in the first place? Maybe you weren’t listening when we filled you guys in on how we saved your sorry butts, but the Soul Stone deals in lives. You have to off someone to even get your hands on it much less figure out how to get in and out of it. We could go there to pick up one person only to have to leave someone else there. Add some whole other world we know nothing about except for Thor’s fairy tale into the mix and we could all wind up dead.”

“...So you’re saying,” Quill glared, “ we shouldn’t try to rescue Gamora.”

“Oh for-” Rocket rolled his eyes. “I’m saying we shouldn’t mess with a crazy powerful cosmic object that could easily kill us all! Again!”

“Yeah, except that’s the only way to rescue Gamora,” Quill’s volume started increasing and he finally moved his finger away from the console to ball both his hands into fists, “so you’re saying we shouldn’t rescue Gamora!”

“We don’t even know if she’s actually there or if your stupid ‘upgrade’ of a ship is glitching out!”

“Yeah, but if it isn’t a glitch, you’re saying we shouldn’t rescue Gamora!”

“Fine! I’m saying we shouldn’t rescue Gamora! You happy now?!”  

Rocket didn’t recognize the next expression on Quill’s face, but Mantis, Nebula, and Drax did. They’d seen it on Titan.

“...Are…” Quill chuckled in disbelief. “Are you for real right now? First you run with your tail between your legs from Thanos and now you’re afraid of one of his rocks?!”

Thor took a step forward, his eyes starting to glow faintly. Groot extended his arm as a barricade. “I am Groot.” No, let this happen.

“Watch it, Quill,” Rocket said through his teeth.

“You watch it!” He took a step towards Rocket, but he didn’t expect Rocket to actually take a step back in response. Quill paused for a moment at this but it only seemed to make him more angry.

“Gamora’s our friend! Our family! How could you not even care what happens to your family?!”

Silence.

Absolute and instant silence. Quill realized his mistake before his last sentence had finished echoing across the bridge. Rocket stared at him with an expressionof complete betrayal and his eyes started to water.

Surely, Rocket - of all people - would start yelling back before any actual tears could fall.

He didn’t.

“...Rocket,” Quill reached a hand out towards his friend. Rocket had never looked so small before. “I’m s-”

“It’s fine.” Rocket said with a cracking, quiet voice as he stared at the floor. “I’m sorry. Of course I want to save her, I just… Just… keep working on the rescue plan without me, okay? I’m gonna go make sure our gear’s ready.”

Nobody said a word as Rocket left the bridge, and Quill was fully prepared for someone to all but murder him as soon as their friend was out of earshot.

He deserved it. He was ready for it.

He did not expect “someone” to be Gamora’s sister.

Nebula was on Quill the moment Rocket had left, punching him square in the jaw with a metal fist. Drax and Groot both stepped forward, ready to hold her back if she swung again. Mantis’ antennae glowed and she reached a hand towards her. Thor did absolutely nothing.

“Do not touch me,” Nebula warned Mantis. “I do not wish to be calm about this.” Mantis realized Nebula was going to stop at a single punch and complied; the fact that Quill was getting back up and was still able to talk was sign enough that she’d held back a little.

“Ow,” Quill said, groaning as he stood. “What the hell, Nebula? I thought you of all people would be with me on th-”

“Five years.”

Quill’s eyes widened. Mantis, Drax, and Groot all looked between each other with varying levels of surprise.

Before that moment, there had been a silent agreement among the Guardians that the victims of The Snap didn’t need to know and didn’t want to know exactly how much time they’d lost. Measurable time in Space was barely a thing to begin with, seeing how every culture had its own system and trying to keep everything on a single calendar was a fruitless chore they’d long since abandoned in favor of pretending it was somebody’s birthday whenever the team felt like it’d been long enough and wanted something to get merrily plastered over. Quantifying just how long most of the Guardians had been “sleeping” seemed so pointless and depressing.

Until Nebula, with wisdom she usually kept under a cloak of violence, realized it meant absolutely everything.

“For five years,” Nebula continued, “he played your same paltry collection of music every day. Like clockwork. He’d tell me which song was each of your favorites whenever it started playing as if he’d never mentioned it before. For five years, in every free moment, he shared stories about every little thing all of you did together from idiotic space adventures to the tree learning how to walk to pointless verbal exchanges he found amusing. For five years, he complained about how hard such a large vessel was to maintain but protested violently at the mere suggestion of trading it for something befitting two people. For five years I pretended I didn’t hear him crying himself to sleep on the occasional night he tried to rest and for five years I pretended I believed him when he insisted he wasn’t having horrific nightmares.”

“He never got over it, not even once, and when he realized there was the smallest hope that he might regain even a fraction of what he lost he was ready to die, not because of any sort of altruism but because dying for the only people who ever loved him sounded better than spending another second alone with his thoughts and single companion who never had the words to help him with his grief in the slightest.”

She grabbed Peter by the collar. Nobody, including Quill, moved to stop her.

“Five. Years. And you have the absolute unshackled insolence to ask him if he cares about his family?”

She put him down and returned to her seat on the bridge without another word but kept an aura of animosity. He’d rather she just punched him again.

It took Quill several minutes to break out of his guilt-driven daze. When he did, Thor seemed to be examining Stormbreaker in a new light. Drax and Mantis has resumed their earlier conversation with less vigor and much more whispering. Sometime during Nebula’s tirade, Groot had left the bridge altogether. Quill wanted out of the crushing silence and hesitantly started the Zune back up.

“Southern Nights, have you ever felt a-”

He shut the Zune back off.

#avengers endgame #guardians of the galaxy #rocket raccoon #peter quill #marvel nebula #peter is an over-emotional idiot but he's trying his best #!one shot #endgame spoilers #tfw tags try to auto correct to endgame spoiler free #nah there are definitely spoilers here guys

[ncbodyknows]

Original: 我楽多イノセンス Music: Last Note. Singer: COCO Artist: Ars Movie: 라면

Published March 4 04:23 on Nico Nico Douga

He really felt as though it had been a while since he had time to sit down and do a video like this, but looking at his upload history, Youngjae had to admit that many a sleepless night had led to much more than he would like to acknowledge. It was simply that his latest two months had been so full of recovering physically and mentally from the new years stage as well as juggling trainee schedules on top of school and commission work. He had been sleeping a lot more than he usually did, but now that he was slowly returning to a normal state of mind the insomnia also presented itself. 

And almost with perfect timing his associate had sent him the finished video edit of the artworks Youngjae had sent to him but a week ago. He liked that about Ramyeon, the guy worked fast and was good at what he did, and Youngjae was genuinely bothered by the fact that he couldn’t pay him more than he did, but it couldn’t be helped. He wasn’t made out of money, as much as he wanted to be, and although he did know means of getting some he was never going to walk down that path again.

At first Youngjae had been stuck between two songs, but unfortunately his now room mate Moonbok had intruded upon him as he was trying to decide and demanded to know what kind of music the artist was listening to. Without spilling too much he had explained the basic meaning of each song and without hesitation Moonbok had stated that this one sounded a lot like Youngjae. Of course that had caused him to shoo his room mate out, but somehow the comment had still remained within his mind and refused to leave him, and along the way he had actually complied to the unintended suggestion.

Now came the problem of recording everything without Moonbok waking up. Youngjae wasn’t really sure how isolated the walls were, but he was bored out of his mind and just wanted this out of the way now while he had time to do it. Soon enough everything was set up and his microphone tests were finished, and everything was ready to go. Letting the music play in his headphones, only one covering his ears so he could hear his own voice too, Youngjae began.

There wouldn’t be any proof in the colours No meaning to the lines I’ve drawn from habit, no, no Bringing indistinctness, pretending to be the best Saturating the air with sighs, pathetic, unenlightened, dizzy

At first he had told himself that Moonbok had just picked this song as fitting to Youngjae because he was an artist much like the main character, and perhaps that too was the case, but the more he had dissected the lyrics, the more he had realised that it wasn’t actually too far fetched an assumption to say that this song was befitting him. There were quite a bit of the lyrics that he could relate to a lot, and it didn’t really make him happy. But perhaps he would achieve something personal from singing a song that hit as close to home as this one did.

“An imperfect talent,” is it enough to get by? It seems the peak is close, there’s nothing ahead, no, no I’ve finished filling up the blanks, nearing a perfect form Unable to fulfill expectations, well I guess it serves me right, huh?

“Self-contradiction” impatience: unable to become a gear “Self-hatred” that spins in tune with others “Self-deception” telling myself that this is what I wanted “I’m just trash” withered logic, an ashen fake

Somehow the words felt increasingly bitter in his mouth as he reached the chorus. He had often wondered if he even was improving, if he had really reached the peak of his potential and that if he could ever get past that barrier that separated the hopeful from the professionals. But was it his own expectations or that of others that he couldn’t live up to?

Contrast, that is, light and dark A prepared gradient, zero one two Get right, get right, innocence obscured by a blockage Flaring up, spinning my wheels, Getting slightly lost, killing myself, Get down, get down, don’t try to act cool, ‘kay? Can’t just be sitting on the fence, discord But I’ve got to be consistent and do something Stand up ready to go, paint it out, come on, one two three

The high paced tunes of the song betrayed its depressive undertones as it was with most vocaloid songs, but Youngjae supposed that was what had initially attracted him to the genre. Many of the lyrics were incredibly easy to relate to for his younger self who was fighting the world in its entirety, and even now in his adult years where the battle he fought was with himself. First chorus over and done with he let the music play for a bit before the next verse began.

The ideals I stored up, imprisoned on the canvas This painting I created has no name, no, no As I eat through my pretenses I lost my hold on reality Full of corruption I guess I should just learn to love it, huh?

“Did you knoqw?” no one can grasp your dirtied hands “Nothing can be done?” with your selfishness piling up “Given up yet?” even if I wishper to myself, ‘long ago’ “You’re just trash, huh” I can’t follow the ‘right face!’ command...

With each self-depreciating word, Youngjae had already made his way to the second chorus of the song and was thus nearing the end too. The more he sang, the more he realised how much he absolutely hated it, hated how well it fit and hated the situation he had managed to plant himself in. Why the song title contained the word ‘innocence’ he still didn’t understand, for he felt as though he himself was far from, having been tainted so much by life already. If anything it was perhaps a hope for a changing point. To get drawn back into the light.

If you’ve decided you want to change Even if you can’t see what’s ahead, surely, surely You can’t call that running away Even if someone labelled as an adult Can only sing meaningless words Isn’t that, isn’t that enough? It seems the wind changed directions And the button the girl pressed Stand up ready to go, is probably the sign to start running

Although he hadn’t actually watched the anime or read the light novels and all he knew of Mikagura School Suite and the character Kuzuryuu Kyouma was what the video portrayed. From that alone he was ready to gather that although their situations were similar in many ways, this guy was ready to take a step forward, and had people who refused to give up on him. Was Youngjae fortunate enough to have such as well? He wanted to believe. Wanted to trust in the people around him, but trust was not something that came easy when paranoia was rooted so deeply within his personality. He wanted for someone to come and sweep him away too, and maybe, just maybe it could happen, but it was a long and tiresome process and could never be as easy as it was in the stories.

“Self-contradiction” searching for someone to be in tune with “Self-hatred” filled with weakness; for I can’t rid myself of these feelings “I’m just trash” it doesn’t matter what colour the sky is “Was it easier to believe that?” ah, I can’t stop the ringing in my ears

Contrast, that is, light and dark A prepared gradient on zero, one, two Get right, get right, innocence obscured by a blockage If that’s the path you’ve chosen Even if you can’t see what’s ahead, hey, hey You can’t call that running away

Even if someone labelled as an adult Can only sing meaningless words Isn’t that, isn’t that enough? It seemed the wind changed direction And the button the girl pressed Increased the saturation of the world As if engulfing everything Stand up ready to go, see, even the canvas Was wrenched open

The song finished up and as the last tunes played, Youngjae let out a sigh. He had honestly been sighing too much lately, but somehow he found the exhales leaving him at any given moment, especially when he felt affected by something. He sat there in silence after cutting off his microphone for a moment, and was ready to edit everything together when he suddenly heard an applause coming from the doorway. His glance shot towards what should have been an empty space immediately but to his horror his eyes locked on the long haired figure of Moonbok who was obviously not sleeping. What should he say in a situation like this? ‘Yeah you see I’m kind of a cover artist in my spare time’? No, he had something much better. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

#ch: solo #rkvlog #moonbokrk #because mentioned #Niconico adventures {{ COCO }}

[mendesforpresident]

Sunflowers & Roses

Its been a while, but I’ve brought this unedited piece and I may have a Part 2 to “What’s a title Idk”. So watch out for that and I’ll be back. Also try and leave feedback it would be a tremendous help<3

The day had been boring. Busy but boring and spending time with your best friend seemed like the only enjoyable part of the day. Time dragged on at work and even lunch break felt slow. You didn’t like it at all. It felt as though life was stopped and you were walking through molasses. But the minute you got off work, time began to move again and go at lightning speed until you found yourself in your kitchen pouring chips into a bowl while Shawn sat on the couch chatting your ear off about his day. 

“Andrew’s really pushin it with the recording. I love the guy and I love the music but being trapped in a small studio with the same people for days on end could drive anyone crazy. This album needs to get out soon, with the festival run in summer I don’t think I would have the time to release it. So he’s right but I need a break. You understand, right?” he lamented to you from the living room. 

“Oh yes I totally understand the problems of a 19 year old world renowned pop star” you responded.

“You aren’t helping me with that sarcastic mouth of yours.” he chirped back.

“Really I couldn’t tell” You tested just to see his reaction.

“Stop it.” He ended the argument with a playful smile. You laughed menacingly as you dropped onto the couch beside him and handed him the bowl. You both just looked at each other for a second and studied each others faces. It was something the two of you had just began doing recently. Studying each other, you’d known each other for a long time but you were both changing so quickly. So you felt like there was always something new to see. 

“I put up some new posters in my room, if you wanna come see. There’s a few that would fit on my walls if you wanna claim them for your own.” You said getting up from the couch to break the silence. “Bring the chips with you” you finished as you made your way into your bed room with Shawn trailing behind you. You had put up a John Lennon poster and a David Bowie poster. Your walls had seemed bare and it didn’t hurt to add something. The knick-knacks cluttering your shelves just weren’t doing it for you anymore. 

“Oh guess what. I’m keeping you in business, buddy” You said while making your way over to your vinyl record collection.

“What do you mean?” Shawn replied lying down on your queen bed, basically covering the entire expanse of the mattress. 

“Okay, so I was at that music store on 5th street and there’s that section of upcoming artists, right. So I’m looking through and I found like Khalid and Hailee Steinfield and Camila and Julia Michaels and Sam Smith even though he’s been around for a few years but then he went away for awhile. Anyways so I’m flipping through that section and guess who I found? YOU. Everyone’s favorite Canadian boy. So I bought your Unplugged album and because I’m the bestest most supporting friend ever, I already had all your other albums on vinyl. And now my collection is complete. May I just say that you already sounded sooooo good on the unplugged album but when you match it with a record player oh boy its incredible.” You finally finished talking, grabbed all the Shawn vinyls that you owned and brought them over to Shawn who was by now sitting up on the bed. He looked over the albums quietly, almost memorized by seeing his work, his words in person on an album. 

“I’d never taken the time to listen to them on vinyl. If I’m being honest, I barely listen to my music at all unless I have to. Makes me uncomfortable, I mean I’m proud but it’s just weird to hear my voice and see other peoples reactions.” He said, leaving you in shock.

“You’ve never heard this album?!? You have to-I have to-I’m playing it. You sound beautiful, your voice is incredibly unique. I’m sure you already know that but-REALLY you’ve never taken the time to listen to this album on vinyl? You’re crazy.” You said, quickly picking up the vinyl from where he had placed it on the bed next to him. You pulled it out of it’s cover carefully so you wouldn’t get it dirty. Placed it on the turn table and put the needle down. The sound that emitted from the speakers of your record player was indeed beautiful. You looked over your shoulder to see Shawn blushing. He looked embarrassed but proud and confident cause he knew that in the company of his best friend there was no room for embarrassment. You just stood by the record player and quietly drummed your fingers to the beat of the songs playing on the vinyl. You could hear Shawn humming behind you on the bed. As the songs went by you soon found your self having to flip over the record player. Roses slowly began playing.

“It’s not that I’m afraid I’m not enough for her

It’s not that I can’t find the words to say

But when she’s with him she seems happier

And I don’t wanna take that away”

This song evoked emotion in you. It always had and it probably always will. You didn’t know why but it just did. If it was the incredible lyrics or angelic singing, everything about the song brought on emotions. You began to feel tears pricking up in your eyes. But you quickly pushed them away because there was no reason to be crying. It made you think about Shawn and the way you felt about him. It always scared you when you felt jealousy from seeing him with other girls. And you could tell he felt the same when the roles were reversed. It was weird between you two and the thought it made you sick. You pushed the thoughts away and began to immerse yourself into the song once again.

“You can tell me to stop if you already know 

But I’m not sure that my heart could take it

And the look on your face says don’t let me go..?”

You heard a creak of the floor boards, which brought you from your thoughts and the music. You turned to see Shawn towering over you. The sun from the windows coming in and lighting up his curls and causing his skin to glow. His frame was built and large but also thin and lean. He looked like a Greek god. You studied his features till you made it to his face where you saw that he wasn’t studying you back. He was bashfully looking down at his hands. Your eyes slowly followed to see a sunflower in his grip. You took in a sharp breath as his eyes met yours and he smiled. He took a step closer to you and reached behind you to take the needle off the record. Leaving the room completely silent. You realized he had taken the sunflower from the vase on your bedside table while you were lost in your head. 

“It may not be a rose but um I know that you don’t really like roses anyways. You think they’re unoriginal and-” 

“predictable” you said simultaneously.

“Uh yeah. I don’t really know how to say this but…I guess-um I guess that this sunflower is kinda like my rose for you. Cause it’s different and beautiful like you. And you mean the world to me, you’re the greatest person in my life. When we’re together I feel like the better me-you’re the better half of me. And even when we’re not together I barely stop thinking about you. When I think of you my mind goes wild. When I think of you I’m happy. You make me happy and I wanna be happy. And I don’t ever wanna lose you. You matter to me and I love you, okay. I love you. I love you so much. I’ve loved you since we’ve met. At the time I guess I didn’t know it but I do now and that’s all that matters. So this is my rose for you and I want you to let it grow. I really do.” He said. Biting his lip in anticipation because he just poured his heart out to you. Giving the sunflower out to you.

“Yes.” You responded, unable to get your mouth and mind to work.

“Yes what?” He asked in slight panic.

“Jesus just kiss me Shawn.” You said, accepting the flower from him and into your hands. Looking up at him. He cupped your face in his large hands and connected his lips to yours. You grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him in closer to you. You felt alive. Lightning coursed through your veins. His lips were soft and sweet. Like him. It was befitting. His hands felt rough against your cheeks from the years of guitar playing. You’d never been so happy. His scent encasing you. You were on fire. And he smiled, the smile had caused the kiss to end.

“So that’s a yes?” 

“Of course it is, Mendes”

-it is like 3 AM ladies i am not ok gn loves

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fluff imagine #shawn mendes music #shawn mendes song

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'Supernatural' 1211 Regarding Dean aka Dude, where's my memory?

Supernatural's Regarding Dean episode is a play on the 1991 film Regarding Henry where the lead character Henry survives a shooting but ends up forgetting everything. It’s nice Supernatural’s titles often refer to song or film titles befitting the story like in Sam Interrupted points to Angelina Jolie’s Girl Interrupted which is set in an insane asylum. Here we have a nice Dean-centric episode where he slowly loses his memories after getting hexed. And when there’s a witch, there’s usually Rowena, giving Ruth Connell’s character her another time to shine. Skip this article if you don’t want this episode spoiled but please do go on or get back in retrospect. We begin the episode with Dean in pursuit of a man who looks quite normal except for a bullet wound. Given the pre-episode flashbacks, we can say that the man is a witch (to use the general SPN term). Dean catches up, but before he can finish him off, the man makes a blood sigil on a tree trunk which zaps Dean unconscious. Next Dean wakes up where he fell with a rabbit beside him. It’s a nice touch given that rabbits often get the bad deal when it comes to witches and hex bags. He apparently has no memory of what happened that night and asks a couple of park patrons so he could use their phones to call Sam since his phone was broken. They then meet up at a waffle house (great looking waffles by the way). The first sign that something is wrong is that Dean can’t recall how he ended up where he was and that he forgot about Kelly and the dead guy they’re supposed to examine. But it’s not definite as he remembers given that he’s reminded. But the night before is definitely lost as he’s painfully reminded of an unknown girl he got intimate with. That part was hilarious. It’s a shame as the girl must have had an awesome night as she seemed to be describing the experience with her friends. They get to the morgue, and Dean starts showing signs of throwing up at the sight of gore, in this case, the money that was stuffed in the dead man’s gut. They both dismiss it as Dean has had too many waffles. They find the hex bag that they suspected should be at the case site in the evidence box which confirms their suspicion of witchcraft. Sam finally finds out something’s wrong when Dean forgets how to drive and even forgets his name for a while. But if Dean was hexed, the question is, why he’s still alive? The scene in their motel room gets fun when Dean can’t name the members of Bon Jovi and even forgot what a lamp is. Sam decides to get help. We switch over to Rowena being in all places, a server room playing poker with a bunch of unknowns and cheating her way into cash. It’s surprising that Sam even has Rowena’s number to which she asks if she has her own ringtone. Let’s break a bit here, that it’s kind of refreshing that the brothers have become comfy with Crowley and Rowena even though they’re still bad guys. They still have the potential of killing people like that time Crowley blew up Rowena’s boyfriend. The showrunners can’t kill them off just yet as both characters have become loved by fans. Guess, it’s just saying that hopefully, these two become good guys too or the ultimate bad guys by the time the show actually ends. While Sam talks to Rowena, Dean gets some ice for the vodkas he found. He gets lost for a while as he can’t find the way back to the room. Rowena advises Sam to kill the witch responsible for casting the obliviate spell on Dean. Since Dean can’t remember the night before, they decide to do a Dude Where’s My Car and retrace Dean’s steps starting with the dead guy’s office. Next, Sam’s memory of Dean’s last location was him looking for a burger joint. They go to each joint in town to jog Dean’s memory and end up where the girl who slapped Dean worked in. She helped fill them in on the stuff Dean did, and that’s where they found Dean’s witch through the security cams. It’s kind of funny but cheesy at the same time when Dean thought it was cool that he can shoot a gun. But later, Dean forgets that they hunt things that go bump in the night and that they even exist. Sam ends up reminding him like they do to everyone who finds out that the supernatural is real. They find the location of the glyph the witch used on Dean and Dean finds the witch’s corpse nearby which means that Dean’s obliviate spell didn’t die with the witch. To answer the previous question, the witch may have been too weak to cast a killing spell or too vindictive to cast something worse. Later, the witch’s kin finds his dead body but instead of leaving town, the dead guy Gideon’s sister decides to stay. Rowena shows up but at this point, Dean’s mostly useless so Sam makes Dean watch TV. Rowena is familiar with the witches involved, and Rowena reveals that the witches use a druidic magic not familiar to her and that she requires a book that they’re keeping, the Black Grimoire. So now we have another book in the mix. So the all-powerful book of the dead is no longer enough? In the past episode, we also go to know that Lily Sunder can wield Enochian magic against angels and somewhere, there could be a book for that as well. The new knowledge about Enochian lore somehow, in my opinion, has become too convenient to find for ordinary people like Lily and the BMOL. It’s like the progression of power in Dragonball Z where Picollo can easily defeat Freeza by now. By now, all the information on the angel and demon tablets could have already been logged elsewhere while we had Kevin spend two seasons translating them. For consistency’s sake, the brothers are convenient friends with the King of Hell and after meeting God and the origin of evil, The Darkness; demons and angels are easy pickings. But hey, we love ‘em all the same. Fortunately, we’re still reminded that Rowena is a bad guy because the brothers still keep a level of mistrust. Sam accuses Rowena of using them to get another powerful artifact. Rowena stresses the fact that Dean is already in big trouble. The spell cast on Dean will cause his mind to forget everything, including the involuntary act of breathing. The brothers have a heart-to-heart talk about Dean’s condition, and Dean, much like anyone hates the undignified way he’ll end up. It’s almost like ending up as roadkill where the brains that contain all our memories and who we are, get scattered on the pavement. Sam is devastated at the fact and dismisses Rowena’s semblance of actually caring (but maybe she does which is kudos for the character). Sam would rather see his brother die in action rather than the impending ignoble outcome. Dean then gets dramatic as he looks in the mirror and constantly reminds himself of who he is and what he remembers. It gets more depressing as his condition progresses and he finally forgets his name. Later, Sam goes after the book and leaves Rowena to care for Dean. Dean fidgets like a child with Rowena’s things as she prepares for a spell. She hands him a doll to play with while she tells him her life story, assuming Dean will forget anyway. We get more info on her background here to complement the one we had when she told Crowley how she hated him in Season 11. It turns out that she’s in the US because of the British Men of Letters. When in the beginning of the season, she said that she no longer wanted to get involved too much with the supernatural, it was when she met both God and The Darkness. The two highest beings in the universe are just squabbling, she realized that the power she wanted to be happy really meant nothing, thus her seeming change of heart, to turn to the good side. Sam arrives at the house but ends up getting captured, to be used to resurrect Gideon. Next, we see Dean waking up alone in the Impala with a couple of notes left by Rowena who went to the witches home to help Sam. She confronts the sister witch Katrina and reminds her about them throwing her out. Katrina calls Rowena, Raggedy Ann. It turns out that Katrina’s family is where Rowena first sought refuge in the story she told Dean. Rowena then battles Katrina with magic. Sam meanwhile appeals to the brother Boyd not to proceed with the ritual, but despite his reservations, family ties run strong as we know in this series. Dean disregards, Rowena’s note to stay in the car and as she anticipated, Dean opens the car’s trunk, and Dean finds more notes that leads him to the witches’ house. Katrina somehow overpowers Rowena, and before Katrina could kill her, Dean shoots Katrina dead. Sam overpowers Boyd. Boyd escapes, later to be shot by Dean, before some confusion whether to shoot Boyd or Sam. Let’s just say the simple suggestion by Sam and some blood instinct helped Dean decide. Rowena restores Dean’s memories, but Dean plays Sam for a while. It’s kind of strange for Dean and Rowena to be so ginger with each other after the joke. But Sam still doesn’t fully trust her and demands the book back before she leaves. But who knows, she could have done something else to Dean or the Grimoire during the restoration process wherein Sam was not in the room to witness, which is kind of strange. Plus, the book could be another key to fighting Lucifer and whoever the Nephilim turns out to be as druidic magic could be the same as fairy magic which could probably hold its own against angelic power as said in the Season 6 episode Clap Your Hands if You Believe. The brothers then go on their usual retrospective about how good it would be to actually forget about all they’ve been through and the baggage they carry all the time. Rowena told Dean the same thing. They say ignorance is bliss, but it’s not worth losing one’s memories and identity. Though that would probably depend on what someone’s actually been through. If one can forget a harrowing past to produce a better person, perhaps. And after that, we’re treated to some pleasant country music which this author’s not familiar with while showing viewers a recap of the show with clips of Dean’s finer moments and riding Larry the Bull in the bar. What if the brothers went back to the bar so could Dean ride Larry again and those clips with him recalling the time he was hexed? Then that would mean that he’ll see Rowena in a new light, which would mean their pleasantness on the stairs when he made that joke on Sam. This episode is both comedic and dramatic that really shows Jensen’s talent in acting. One of the main reasons Supernatural’s road has gotten so far. While it’s a monster-of-the-week episode, the witches are just more like background characters as we’re stuck looking at Sam, Dean and Rowena. Sam does get much dialogue in this time as well as show concern for his brother and mistrust on Rowena, but that’s kind of his thing. Perhaps, we could use another Sam-centric episode as well this season much like Season 3’s Bad Day at Black Rock. As I interjected throughout the recap, it’s fun having Rowena around and as having become another fan favorite, become truly another of the show’s anti-heroes like Crowley. Heck, maybe she already is. This episode was generally fun, and I’ve read and heard some comments and reviews saying it’s one of the best. But for me, it’s one of the better episodes but not quite one of the best. Check out the preview for the next Supernatural 1212 Stuck in the Middle (With You).

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