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#nothing has ever been this cool
thrillerhark · 2 months
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Berserk by Kentaro Miura
Chapter 277 - human bullet
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pyro-madder · 5 months
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the_old_hunters.png
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swordheld · 6 months
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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berrydoodleoo · 5 months
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should you begin to lose heart, look to me
(rendered in Blender Cycles, click for higher resolution)
#ffxiv#haurchefant greystone#alphinaud leveilleur#tataru taru#my art#line is haurchefant's from the divine intervention quest when wol has the trial by combat for alphy and tataru#should you begin to lose heart#look to me in the stands#and I shall cheer so loud#you will wonder how you could ever have contrived to doubt yourself#i've been replaying the post HW quests#and i realized i really like the lighting in fortemps manor#the windows have a cool blue glow and the lamps are warm and yellowy#so i wanted to try recreating that in blender#and then i had the idea of a cuddle pile on the couch#which morphed into this#i'm picturing this as taking place directly after the scions take refuge in ishgard#they can't sleep so they stay up together talking about nothing and everything and end up dozing off#and then wol has a panic attack#i wanted to capture that sleepy feeling of freaking out as quietly as possible because someone is sleeping nearby#the hushed quiet of the snow and the sibilant whispering and haurchefant's steely-eyed intensity#i mean he loves the wol so much and believes in them so relentlessly#if you were having a breakdown because the new friends who you've just been getting used to and thinking of as family are all dead#and you feel like it's all your fault#and now you have these broken-hearted kids who are dependent on you for safety and purpose#not to mention the rest of the world#in that situation#haurchefant's affection would be overwhelming#devastating and unbearable in its sweetness#this started as a holiday thing which i guess it kind of still is depending on your holiday feelings so uh. here we go
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crellanstein · 8 months
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I’m like… already pissed at Yassop. Cuz like, we have no idea what he & Usopp’s relationship was before he left, if Usopp even remembers him or only has stories from his mother, but you just know, YOU KNOW that when they meet Yassop’s gonna be all like…
“Look at the man you’ve become, you’re a full grown warrior-of-the-sea now, I’m proud of you-blah blah blah” and pull that classic shitty- anime-dad-thing were he’s like ‘I left to make you stronger’ or whatever.
Or…
He’ll challenge Usopp to a sniper duel & when Usopp wins he’ll say all that…
…and ACT LIKE HE HAS THE RIGHT to make any sort of judgement about the aptitude of the son HE ABANDONED!
Cuz we all know that’s why he left, regardless of whatever circumstances. He saw the chance to go adventure on the sea & thought nothing of leaving his young son & dying wife behind.
I can only hope Usopp trademark integrity comes into play & he SMASHES HIS DEADBEAT DAD IN THE FACE and tells him off before challenging him to a sniper duel. (And here we find out the whole reason Usopp started sniping in the first place was so he could shoot Yassop in the face & balls repeatedly without mercy)
FUCK a tearful reunion & a heartfelt speach. I want some justified ass whooping!
Bonus: If Shanks tries to intervene & Luffy stops him because he knows this is the way it should go down.
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adaine-party-wizard · 7 months
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the burrows end gender reveal theory post has broken containment. i saw it posted on instagram. good to know my fever induced nonsense theories are so funny that it was decided those beyond tumblr should bear witness
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torgawl · 7 months
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LET'S FUCKING GO!!!!
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dapperrokyuu · 9 days
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On the topic of Mochijun, Im sorry to say, but the pace of Vanitas no Carte is just so killed for me right now, I cant really feel anything about it for more than a moment, catch me when chapters are normal length or something spectacular happens and its impact can be properly conveyed through 16 pages- 😔✌️
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derpinette · 2 months
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i hated airpods & phones with those big fugly cameras in the back when they were announced as a concept & i hate them even more each time i see that hideousness in person
#i remember when i was 11 ( sorry for being a zoomer ) getting into an argument with an online acquaintance#over airpods because i thought they were retarded but she thought they were cool as if bluetooth ear pieces were a new invention#remember how the world used to make fun of them not even that many years prior. she was like nooobut you can hide them for cheating#& against thievery ( OK the only fair point I GUESS ) but they are just so ugly to me & stupid not practical too easily lost & damaged#especially with that pricetag like they could have made something COOL or Kawaii but of course sleek Nothing design is “in”#still after a decade now ♯MAKEITSTOP#honestly only like bluetooth for file sharing when necessary anything else is devilwork#as for the new giant multiple cameras design i mean use your eyes has there ever been an uglier decision#even if i had money i could never own a touch screen phone without a middle button & a normal camera lense in the back#like just looking at them makes me angry BUT mostly apple products i think android ones are less hives inducing#but TBH i have no headphone jack so... on my old broken phone i did but not this one -_- where are my principles......#well i will wear this one down until it dies i already have a cracked arse screen so until it breaks i will downgrade#also remember how cute silicone phone cases were in the early to mid 2010s ♯BringThatBack#honestly can you even i think phones today are just too damn big Not mine Doe 🦌 mine is almost perfectly sized for my hands (iphone7)#at least people have more charms than ever in my city at least i see people with cute lanyards & zoomer style JesusBeaters so great ^_^#sorry for complaining all the time but also if you are not here for my Kvetching then what else could you be here for...#*jumps into a well from shame*
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 2 months
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i love minos (thinks about his fanon depiction) (throws up)
#okay god i try not too care too much abt mischaracterization especially if its something small but even bigger stuff its like. who cares#we've all been guilty of it at least a little bit before. you know.#but the fact fanon minos has practically ZERO things in common with minos in canon. like. :/#the fact they make him a sex obsessed guy when he shows zero hints towards being horny/sexual in game. and at most he just says that people#shouldnt be punished for loving one another. like.#everytime i see fanon content of minos and hes like haha gabriel do you want to have sex or hes constantly talking abt sex like. come on.#i never even see people talk abt stuff abt minos thats actually cool and not some fanon made up haha bisexual lighting and i love sex bit#like okay we're not gonna talk abt the fact that he had to see the destruction of everything he worked towards to help others with his own#eyes from his prison.#we're not gonna talk about how tragic he is or his story or anything abt his personality in canon?#no we're just gonna graft a make believe personality onto him where he constantly talks abt sex and nothing else? and wants to fuck gabriel#when one of the first things hes ever said upon being freed is that he wants to kill gabriel?#SORRY I KNOW IM BEING A LITTLE HATER AND IVE TRIED TO LESSEN UP ON IT ESP COMPARED TO MY LAST FANDOM. BUT.#GOD.#it wouldnt even be that bad if they didnt rough down minos's rough edges and hatred of gabriel and yet make sisyphus more#angry/violent towards him when he just had beef with heaven in general. like. interesting. that youre. depicting the person of#color as more angry/violent towards your blorbo when its arguable he doesnt even care abt gabe in specific.#really interesting.#truly.#okay im done being a hater#salt tag#to delete
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fore-seer · 28 days
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had another one of my gaius dreams; this time it was a little transistor-style futuristic awakening spinoff set on a series of floating islands and the impression was that each character had their own little quest but it focused mostly on gaius’. he went on a little date with robin separate from the quest also
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coolspacequips · 1 year
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Honestly at this point I just want tumblr to fucking ACKNOWLEDGE the bot problem, at least. It almost led to the downfall of this site once, when they pretended they weren't The Problem and blamed the app's questionable status on queer blogs instead, are they really going to let the site just be completely overrun by the fucking things the second people are ACTUALLY looking at this platform again???
I WANT people to come back, but if they come back and the site seems like it's 75% bots with really suspicious links trying to catfish you, why would they stay?? They're gonna end up in hot water with the app stores AGAIN and then who are they gonna punish?? Bc it's not the people making the damn bots!!!
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lameow-l · 6 months
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so wait… furina is the name of the archon role that “furina” had to play
wouldn’t make more sense narrative wise to give her a name of her own?? like scara gets his own epic chapter about him ridding himself of his past and adopting a new name then proceed to ignore said name in favor of “hat guy” but the actress playing “furina” doesn’t get to be known for her own name?
like people of fontain (partly maybe) know the truth so why not let her free? let her enjoy the simple human life she so so longed for? even the other furina wouldn’t want this
#i think her story is a better use of the (give character name) mechanic that wasn’t really needed in scara’s arc imo#like yeah it’s cool and all but we literally saw him throw the actual physical manifestation of his past into the fucking void!!!#i personally think it was kind of wasted on him on top of me thinking that idea was entirely stupid to begin with and hyv keeps proving tha#no one actually refers to him as wanderer or by the name they choose online.. its just scara#thats both bad marketing and confusing burying the character away from new players#and like the amount of shit u have to go through as a new player just to name ur weird huge hat angry little dude is just..#but imagine how impactful such a mechanic would be for ‘furina’ who spent all her live acting a role she wasn’t#at the end of all that agony do u think she could endure hearing people call her by that name??#unlike scara she did that for the people every moment of those 500 years knowing that the fate of every person is mere a breakdown away#there was nothing in that for her or for a reward she thought deserved.. just suffering on her own#it just makes more sense for her to want a different name a different identity that has nothing to do with that role#and again i think that mechanic is stupid anyway but if it had to happen i’d loved it more with ‘furina’#or idk give her like a clueless friend she gets to meet that keeps calling her a different name for reasons and her liking the name or smth#maybe give her a different role she gets to play.. or have neuvillette give her a name#same with scara i think it would have been a lot better if he went by a name he choose when all his previous names were chosen for him#i dont see how the entirety of genshin writers and devs agreed to this mechanic being implemented honestly#like traveler is literally there waiting for a single soul to address them by their actual name (the one we choose) but every time it’s jus#traveler traveler.. even their most beloved companion calls them traveler#like that alone should've changed the writers minds bc such a name would 1. either not ever be used or replaced by a nickname#2. the hell devs had to go through to not allow certain phrases and names and 3. the hell both teams will suffer should they add a new char#tl;dr stupid dumb mechanic but they should still give furina a new name#genshin impact#furina#fontaine archon quest#scaramouche
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churchydragon · 3 months
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I already knew I had no interest in Palworld when they showed the guns and slavery of the Pals in the first trailer but hearing that not only has the company dabbled in NFTs and AI but there's also HUMAN slavery AND the farms are called plantations has just totally turned me off. why did the devs think that was even slightly appropriate in this fucking day and age?
like I DO think we need an open world survival Pokemon-esq game, we really do. but not Palworld. hopefully Kindred Fates will fill that void properly, in a responsible, not overly and poorly thought out edgy way.
#granted if they make it clear in the game that the slavery is Bad and there are better ways to do the things you need to do#then that's slightly better. Morrowind has slavery in it too but it makes it very clear that it's Bad#and in quests involving them they give you options to help the slaves out and allow you to free them (two Telvanni quests come to mind)#it's not great but it's slightly better. but like. if it's like the guns then I suspect it's in there just to be edgy and “cool”#which isn't okay and shouldn't be defended. that's not okay. that's not ever okay.#and it sucks cuz again we do need a game like Palworld but without all the terrible things! Nintendo has been slacking hard and also#they been playing it way too safe and I feel like anything they make will kinda fall short#I enjoyed Scarlet and Violet but I feel like they could have done a little more if they were braver#and also. you know. payed their workers and didn't push out a new Pokemon every year.#give it time to sit so new ideas can develop properly. come on now.#anyways I have no idea if any of this is really coherent or just a rapid flow of thoughts. whatever#I'm excited for Kindred Fates. it comes out this year supposedly so I'm gonna grab that when I can#also there's nothing wrong with edgy concepts in video games. Palworld just does it badly to me#and as always people are allowed to like the game but. use some critical thinking#I've seen little bits of the game that look really fun. I've just been totally disillusioned to it lmao#I am gonna be sus of anyone accusing people of being moral crusaders for calling the game out for the slavery tho. that's sus as fuck#churchy talks#churchy tag rambles
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robbiefischer · 5 months
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My neighbor decorated their giant skeleton for Christmas and I'm utterly delighted.
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