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#npd stigma
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Oh yeah make sure neglected people get love until that neglected person is a fucking narcissist. Cause all narcissists are bad. Everything I do is intentionally manipulative or maybe they'll say I'm not actually a narcissist and are just confused or supporting them cause I've been made to feel guilty. I've been on both sides. People will believe I'm a narcissist and so therefore I'm abusive or people will not believe I'm a narcissist cause I'm too nice and just getting caught up in narcissists manipulating me to support them.
I hate the idea that my self image is not by my choice. I will always be what OTHERS perceive me as. I have always been that and it will continue to be that. People will either see someone that can't do any wrong or someone that can only do wrong. Like stfu I am a person! I can do good and bad! I have a past of being toxic and harmful esp as a teenager cause I was a fucking mentally fucked teen still in an abusive situation.
I just. I dunno. Im waiting on food so I'm very like just ranty about everything and anything. But like. Stfu. Stfu stfu stfu stfu stfu. If anyone else is needy and needs attention or reassurance then it's fine. But I have had it demonized since my fucking childhood and had my fucking meltdowns demonized as being intentionally manipulative!!! I WAS A FIVE YEAR OLD AUTISTIC CHILD STFU!!!!!
And people praising empathy as being good piss me off. Cause you know what else can also have hypoempathy? AUTISM. Low empathy is not just an "evil" personality disorder thing. Anyone can be anywhere on the scale of empathy. And it doesn't fucking matter. And anyone can be capable of good or bad. It has literally nothing to do with narcissism or any disorder.
Like wtf are anti narcissists gonna fucking do when they realize theyve done harm??? Cause you know what being someone believing in narc abuse did to me?! It made me believe that i was justified as a victim of narcissists so therefore I couldn't be wrong in my trauma responses.
Yeah. Accepting im a narcissist did way more for helping my relationships by allowing me to understand and communicate my needs than believing in narc abuse and calling my parents narcissists ever fucking did. Wtf are they gonna do when they're told about the harm they've done??? Not even related to narc abuse. I would have horrible episodes and defended myself cause I wasn't like my abusive "narcissistic" parents. And all it did was lead to more fights and more episodes and my friend couldn't help cause they were dealing with trauma responses too (people pleasing, believing it was okay what I did or that she deserved it even when I told her not to say or believe that, it's a very lengthy explanation required thing.)
Anyone and everyone is capable of good and bad and is capable of harming others. Whether it's full on abuse, even worse things, or just being insensitive and thoughtless. Focusing so much on the big bad narcissists will only continue to focus on this "us vs them" mentality that completely negates any sort of nuance and ignores the fact that harmful people, abusers, and even the worst of humanity is ALLOWED by society. It isn't a prevalence of narcissists, it is fucking bigotry. And it is everywhere. And it allows abuse to be normalized.
Big list of things I been thinking on. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm already fucking stressed and my parents won't stfu so I can think and type. Disorganized speech, semiverbal, can't thinky think.
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ghostslimu · 11 months
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reblog if you have narcissistic eyes and dark energy
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cemitadepollo · 1 month
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Not a day passes by without me being mad as shit that ableism against demonized mental illnesses is normalised.
We are not criminals. We are not dangerous. We do not owe neurotypicals a complete explanation on why we developed our disorders and why we aren't serial killers that kidnap people.
Fuck hollywood, fuck ableist criminology and fuck saneism.
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a-sip-of-milo · 6 months
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I love people with npd so much. I’m sorry that world is so ableist. I’m sorry that you can’t be anywhere without hearing the word ‘narcissism’ or ‘npd’ used in a negative light. I’m sorry that there isn’t anywhere near enough support.
I’m so sorry that you can’t win. It must be so suffocating and aggravating, living in a world where it feels like everybody hates you. You deserve better.
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narcpixiedreamboy · 3 months
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I wish people who believe in narcissistic abuse and act like people with NPD are so evil were not even human understood that having NPD can absolutely motivate people to do good things.
I have NPD and I work in education. At the school I work at, we have a couple Ukrainian kids who don’t speak English. I have begun learning Ukrainian (or well, trying to, this is my first time trying to learn a language that uses a different alphabet than English so progress is slow), specifically because I want to be the one to make these kiddos feel welcome. I want to be the one teacher who has put in effort to learn their language, rather than just trying to teach them ours. That’s a good thing to do, but if I didn’t have NPD I probably wouldn’t bother to do that and would just use google translate (like all the rest of the teachers).
I, like other narcissists, find that most of my motivation comes from looking for another narc high, and for me, I am much more likely to get a narc high from doing something good and feeling good about myself because I did something good, than I ever would from making someone else feel bad about themself. Why would I spend my time going around hurting other people for no reason when I could put my effort into doing something actually cool and then everyone will think I’m awesome because I actually did something awesome?
I know I’m not the only narcissist like this, but sure, let’s keep spreading the rhetoric that narcissists only exist to hurt people.
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loverofmirage · 7 months
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If you believe trauma spaces becoming more welcoming towards survivors with NPD means those spaces are becoming hostiles to abuse victims, I hope you get run over by a car ❤️
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anotheraspdrager · 8 months
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"my ex was a narcissist!" and it's just a random dude who can't take accountability because patriarchy
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flashy-mf · 9 days
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When are therapists gonna understand we can be self aware? Are they really gonna die on the hill that states it’s impossible for a narcissist to know and accept what they are? I lack empathy, not basic cognitive skills. Even intellectually disabled people can know they’re intellectually disabled.
This awareness they think we’re incapable of is the type of awareness living beings have intrinsically. It’s fucking basic awareness of information and the ability to compare. This red strawberry looks just like the other red strawberry, so 4-year-old-you matches them together on your little tablet game.
Yes, I can comprehend why I would be labeled as a narcissist. I’m mentally capable of understanding how I fit the description, and I’m mentally and emotionally capable of accepting new information I learn about myself.
What I don’t understand is how the psychiatric industry can be messed up enough for a LICENSED PSYCHIATRIST to believe someone can lack an intrinsic skill that LITERALLY COMES WITH BEING CONSCIOUS like what the actual hell?!?!??!!?
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euthanarexia · 11 days
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someone posted a meme in a FB group about reading up on the mental health disorders your friends and family struggle with so i mentioned reading up on NPD from actual people and sources and not random pop psychology graphics on IG and suddenly “NPD is different” and “people with the disorder don’t want help” and other bs. you can’t pretend to care about mental health and then exclude disorders you don’t find acceptable you twat
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I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.
A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".
This will be kind of long, so bear with me.
Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.
There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)
Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.
Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.
So, three main things happen.
There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD
The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)
People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.
(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)
(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")
Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support
While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"
Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.
So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.
People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.
Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.
Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.
Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.
"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??
Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.
There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.
Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.
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cringefailroboguy · 2 months
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The responses to saying how "narcissistic abuse" is an ableist term will always be so insane bc it's always like
"you will never understand the abuse we went through"
My brother in Christ, why do you think I have a personality disorder?
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cccat-in-a-meat-sack · 3 months
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A list of narc abuse believers for all my lovely pwNPD to block <333
@dragon-master-kai
@liquid-pie
@understandingclusterb-npd
@beenthereregrettedthat
@wilwheaton (hasn't been on for a few months but oh well)
@terrified-of-life
@secretlykoishi
@lostmf (I believe)
@nothing0fnothing
@greenevergreens
@silent-t0n
@not-a-narc-apologist
@anscathmarcach (they blocked me boo hoo)
@galactic-spec-of-dust
@selkie-ifs
@internum--urbes (also hasn't been on for a while)
@daughterofanarcissistwoman
@narcissistic-abuse-blog (wow they have their own blog :0 they hate borderlines too just so y'all know)
@furiousgoldfish
@webanglikethat (not 100% sure????)
@jay7vera
@daringdaphne
@enbygunderson
@houseofdonald
@uncoveringthenarcissist
@callmecandle
@dontbestupiditsnotthathard
@soberscientistlife (doesn't really believe in narc abuse per se, but still is very anti-NPD)
@survivingnarcissism
@howtohealfromnarcissisticabuse
@healingchildhoodtrauma
@snapnarissisticabuserecovery
@narcsurvior (either the above two blocked me or their blogs don't exist anymore)
@beauspot
@cosmic0de
@howtohealfromnarcissisticabuse
@narcopathicabuse
@narcsurvivor
@actuallydiagnosedtraumagenic (says that's it's okay to say you can be a narcissist without having NPD)
To find these people I used the following tags: #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse is real #raised by narcissists #surviving narcissism
This is not an argument post. If you want to argue, shoot me an ask. This is a blocklist so that pwNPD can feel safe. You don't like, block me or send an ask. I am not here to care about your feelings. This list is also not complete/definitive. If you have other people to add, again, send an ask or comment. I love you NPD's <333
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a-sip-of-milo · 8 months
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NPD Resources Masterlist
[BPD]
The official resources masterlist for NPD. Includes all the links I've shared in the past and stuff I haven't.
Any posts I've linked about supporting those with NPD have been put in the misc section because I do not want to take away from what this post is really about, which is helping people with NPD, not the people around them.
Diagnostic criteria
NPD diagnostic criteria, rewritten by someone who has it
Official diagnostic criteria
An explanation of the diagnostic criteria
Recovery resources FOR the narcissist
NPD recovery resources
How to find therapy for NPD, common types of therapy and signs of an abusive/toxic therapist
Narcissist supply
What is narc supply?
Things that can give a narcissist supply
NPD stigma
The perception of NPD symptoms vs. how a narcissist might actually experience them
Why those with NPD have a hard time seeking help (spoiler alert: it's not because they're unaware)
A plea from someone with NPD (and some resources debunking common misconceptions)
Narcissism is not abusive / abuse is abusive
Debunking common myths on NPD
Common disproven myths about NPD
Miscellaneous
How to support someone with NPD
NPD Carrd (What is NPD, dpt skills and self-help)
Unravelling the connection: npd as a trauma response
NPD terminology (do's and dont's)
NPD safe blogs
@empath-abuse-awareness
@enigma-in-reality
@loverofmirage
@the-npd-culture-is
@nicepersondisorder
@theegosystem
@mischiefmanifold
NPD positivity so you don't have to go looking
Reblog to kiss a narcissist on the forehead
Reblog to tell your local narcissist that they're the best ever
Happy NPD appreciation day
Positivity for systems with NPD
Be normal about narcissists unless it's to give them love
NPD should be EPD (Epic Personality Disorder)
Of course I have a praise kink, I have NPD
Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful
Positivity for narcissists who like sex
I love my narcissists
Aromantic narcissists are amazing
Narcissists I love you
Easy ways to spot a narcissist (it's not what you think &lt;;3)
Narcissists deserve to be loved
As usual, if something needs to be deleted because it's wrong/comes from a toxic author/etc. please let me know. I tried to look on Google but all I found was ableist shit, so these are all found by your fellow narcissists on tumblr :)
Edit: If you have any resources, please send them to me through an ask or DM and i'll check it out/add it!
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what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)
Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.
It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!
All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.
We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.
It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?
Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.
To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.
Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.
It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.
Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.
We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.
Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.
Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.
Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.
Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.
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“People with ASPD and NPD are unlikely to seek help”  If you were treated like you just murdered the therapist’s entire family in front of them every time you tried I don’t think you’d seek help either 
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doffypilled · 2 months
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it’s kinda weird how grown ass adults are sharing tips with each other on how to “torture a narc.” I don’t think you would say the same if it was “torture an autistic person” or “torture a person with depression” ??
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