#one of the most attractive men I think I've ever seen holy hell

[radellama]

Hey, I saw the Finnster post you reblogged about people hating Finnster and how that's dumb. I admit for the reasons the post listed about why people hate Finnster, that is dumb. But more than anything what I've seen as mutuals, trans folks, and gnc folks complaining about re: Finnster is that people - cis men, gnc men, enby folks, and trans folks - have ALREADY been dressing like that, for ages. But it took a conventionally attractive, thin, white man who has the social excuse of "its for fun" "for money" "for the joke" for people to hide behind. Finnster himself isn't at fault - it's the rush of people going "wow, Finnster is changing the world's viewpoint on femboys and gnc men, holy cow, maybe this is normal" who simultaneously mock and are disgusted by visibly trans women, fat nonbinary people, gnc folks of color, etc etc etc. It's that Finnster, thru no fault of his own, has become the posterchild for gender nonconformity bc hes pretty skinny and white, and people fawning over him still can't give a fat hairy gnc person of color the time of day even if their and Finnster's outfits matched completely.

Sorry for the askbox rant! It's just that that post has been circulating pretty heavily and I think it's missing a lot of nuance. Most of us don't actually care what Finnster does - good on him for having fun, making money, and being gnc and cute! Hell yeah! But we do care about the erasure and glossing over it does to the community as people lift him up while putting down others.

Hey, I understand that as queer people who HAVE already been breaking the western gender binary, it can be annoying or upsetting to see someone like Finnster dressing the way he does when so many of our queer siblings are mocked and hurt for doing the same thing.

However, I don't see anyone claiming that he is the first or only person to play with gender presentation in the way he is. He might be the first point of exposure for a lot of sheltered cis/het people who haven't otherwise seen queer people, but that in no way implies he's the only person ever to do that. The post in question is a quick post with one reply about how it's silly to have rigid ideas of what gender should look like, and a screenshot showing that he's donated a significant amount of money to trans fundraisers. I never said anything else about it, the post itself doesn't, and I think you're bringing a lot of extra stuff to this.

They're understandable gripes, and I agree that it's a shame that there's still a long way to go for visibly gnc or trans individuals who don't fit some people's ideas of conventional attractiveness... But a short post is never going to have the nuance you're wanting, especially when these specific topics aren't the point of said post.

If you do want to start discussions about these topics, I'd recommend making your own post where you're free to go as in depth as you'd like.

#rads asks #anon #to be very clear i am not meaning a single word in annoyance or passive aggression #it just feels a bit out of the blue that you've come with all of this extra charges that aren't in the post #and i very much feel for any frustration you have if you do see people claiming he is the first or only person to dress gnc #while ignoring a long and beautiful history of queer people who have been doing so for centuries #that is upsetting #and as you say at the end of your ask. most people don't really care what Finnster gets up to #I'm not heavily invested in him other than whatever passing info i see across my dash. it's not that deep for me #and there wasn't anything in that post that had anything that said or implied anything negative to real trans or gnc people... #so... it seems fairly cut and dry for why there ISN'T nuance towards those topics within a short post that don't have those topics discussed

[papirouge]

You don't have to answer this, its just theres so little advice anywhere on the internet for it and you seem like you might give some. I'm bisexual, but I'm really fucking tired of it and want to be heterosexual. I'm like 99% I made myself bi, I remember as a kid thinking being gay is cool (because it was in so much media I was watching) and I remember forcing myself to have a crush on this girl just because she was nice to me. I have been praying about this, but idk, I've always just struggled with faith and so far I've had no results. I know God wants to help buts its so frustrating and hard to have to wait.

Hi anon

I'm really touched you thought about me to share such sensitive topics, and it truly makes me happy that my blog feels like a safe space for my non-straight (Christian?) followers to inquire to me about their struggle.

I'm gonna be honest: I'm a tad confused by your wording. Why do you "want" to be heterosexual? How did you "make yourself bi"?

Assuming you are Christian (you praying over it) I truly think you really should focus on working on your holiness as an "all around" process. God won't magically make yourself straight. Your same sex attraction isn't a sin by itself as the Bible condemns ACTING over these sinful sexual urge :

Leviticus 18:22 states "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

and Romans 1:27 "And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet."

Temptation isn't a sin by itself for Jesus himself has been tempted 3 times by satan, yet he never sinned.

Being straight won't make you a better Christian. Most Christians are straight yet are full of sin and in a bad flavor for God. A sinful straight Christian will most likely end up in hell rather than a Christian having struggled with same sex attraction all their life yet never acted on those urges. IDK why this generation is so obsessive about sexual sins it fails being on the lookout for all the many other ones.

Does you struggling with your sexuality have anything to with you struggling with your faith? It's okay to have doubt, anon. John the Baptist doubted as well about Jesus at some point when he was in prison. As seen in Luke 7:17-22

John’s disciples told him about all these things. Calling two of them, he sent them to the Lord to ask, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”

When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’”

At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. So he replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor.

What did Jesus do when He heard of John losing faith? He SHOWCASED miracles before the disciples. God did miracles to GIVE us faith. Faith in His almightiness.

Anon, think about all the things God achieved in your life (beside your sexuality). List all of them. I can't possibly think of a true child of God you hasn't VISIBLY witnessed God's miracles in their life. Godliness is an ever going process. Just because God didn't "fix" your sexuality (yet?) means He's not here and that He's done with you. You are totally allowed to have doubt. But if you humbly ask God to reassure you of being on the right path (as John did), He will show you the way.

#I hope you'll feel better soon anon #may God grant your the courage and strenght to overcome these doubt #amen #answered #Christian

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

To be blunt, I have no vested interest in talking much about trans stuff on here. It's annoying and a lot of you take any take that isn't "uwu trans women are the most valid women ever" as "trans people deserve to die horribly then burn in hell", so I don't expect nuance to be understood.

But since I've had some asks, I might as well clarify.

First off, to be clear, disclaimer, I do not hate your average trans person. I was transgender, and only reidentified right before I was about to start hormones. I'm still dysphoric, and I get that some of you have severe and enduring dysphoria. I hold no ill will towards you for wanting to be the opposite sex or even somewhere inbetween.

I also get that for some, medical transition helps. I know some people transition and live very happily and just live their lives. I hold no ill will towards them.

However, this is typically in rare cases of severe dysphoria where all other treatments have failed and it impacts the quality of life enough that medical transition outweighs the drawbacks.

Or, at least, this is how it was.

Frankly, what used to be recognised as a mental illness, or possibly a neurological one, usually found in homosexual men and usually was "grown out of", has now become more of an ideology. And a lot of it is rooted in sexism and homophobia.

Disclaimer again: This is not me saying "all trans people are sexist and homophobic". This is me saying that trans stuff has become almost like religion - an individual may be fine but overall it's toxic.

You cannot become the opposite sex. You might be able to live and present as such, but you cannot become it. A man cannot become a woman and vice versa, no matter how they feel or how badly they want it. Change your name, dress and look however you want, I don't care. Personally I kept my name change, I cut my hair off, and I generally prefer a slightly more "masculine" style. I support you in having fun and wearing and doing what you like. But no, a trans woman is not a woman, a trans man is not a man, and non binary people are the sex they were born as. I'm sorry because I know it's distressing but it's true.

Now, onto the "gender critical" parts. AKA, my feelings towards the current state of transgender affairs.

Once again, a disclaimer, this is issues that come from the general collective. Many of you are chill people suffering dysphoria, many of you do not do shitty things, etc. I do not hate you.

Sexism. So much of how people realise they're trans seems to be built off sexism. How many non binary "afabs" say stuff like "I don't feel like a woman, I feel like a human"? Newsflash, that's what being a woman feels like! All women "just feel like humans"! There's no special feeling that makes women think "yes I'm a woman". And there's a massive rise in the amount of trans women that play on sexist stereotypes and are sometimes just creeps. Who talk about stealing underwear from loved ones, about how euphoric make up feels, how gender affirming it is to be catcalled. Seriously, there's a disturbing trend of men just playing on sexist stereotypes and calling it "being a woman".

Homophobia. Homosexuality is the exclusive attraction to the same sex. End of. I acknowledge that if you've fully transitioned eg, male to female, and present as the sex you are attracted to, then calling yourself straight must feel odd, and frankly I don't envy your position. But you are. Homosexuality is not about gender identity. Lesbians don't like or have dicks, and are not born with them either. If you like trans women/men and cis women/men, congrats on discovering your bisexuality, genuinely! 🏳️‍🌈 But the push to redefine basic terms, the push to insist some gay people like the opposite sex, and at worst, that homosexuals are bigots for not being into the opposite sex, is deeply homophobic.

Defending Creeps. Holy shit some of you defend creeps so badly. Again, a lot of you don't, but as a group I've seen arguing that you should ~respect a rapist's pronouns~, the assumption that trans women in particular can do no wrong eg people arguing that real trans women won't hurt anyone in bathrooms (which you frankly can't argue when also arguing anyone who says they're trans is trans). I've seen people admitting to being literal neo nazis, alt right and perverts, and it's dismissed as them "figuring themselves out". And yes, it's mostly trans women. Why? Well.

Downplaying male privilege. Being born male, trans women have male privilege and male socialisation. Some may experience misdirected misogyny later in life if mistaken for a woman, and some may experience homophobia, as femininity in men is associated with being gay. Neither of these change the fact that they have male privilege, and frankly the reason they have such a loud voice in the community is that "afabs" are socialised to let men do that. Sorry, "amabs". If you were really being treated as women, you'd have gotten nowhere by now to be frank. Nobody would be clammering to appease and validate you.

Following this, no, "cis" women are not privilleged over "trans" women. Females are the oppressed class, not males. A male does not become the oppressed class by saying he is, that's ridiculous. It works in no other context with any other oppressed class, so seriously just think about it. But...

This has lead to a greater denial of misogyny and sex based oppression. When all of this is gonna get me branded a bigot, when every bit of it is literally just facts, with no hatred, just annoyance mostly, it's simply because men with gender identities are cared about more than women. You can't say women and mean women, adult human females, and this makes talking about our sex based oppression very difficult.

And misleading medical information, including to minors, is dangerous. Puberty blockers are not always reversible, frequently cause long term damage, and if you medically transition it should be an absolute last resort. As a community it's talked about far too casually. It is life changing and comes with all sorts of risks and complications. It often doesn't help long term. It's very dangerous how acceptable it's become to insist it's fine and dandy.

So yeah, I think that sums it up. I don't care a whole lot about the individual trans person. I want you to have access to housing, healthcare, education, benefits, jobs, etc. But as a collective it's very toxic. Hence critical.

And yes, this has had a lot of mentions of trans women. Males having male privilege and socialisation leads to them being loud, vocal, and often showing some of the worst of things. But plenty of women ("afabs") are guilty of these things too.

Final disclaimer: I don't care as in "not my business" not "fuck you".

#gender critical #this is gonna cause a shit storm #but hey

[aubrey-plaza]

I've seen a lot of fic rec lists lately given everything happening. Do you have any recommendations to get us through the lock down? p.s. I love everything you write.

omg thanks anon!!

I know these are scary times so have here a quick and dirty list of my fave fics starting with Staubrey and then just... veering offcourse. They’re all femslash except the one I marked with an asterisk but yeah. 

as always, I’m not gonna rec my own fics on my this list bc that’s cheating but if you wanna read them pls click this link and that ends the self promo for today lmao

 recs under the cut!

Stacie x Aubrey

Snowbound  

by ACamp_toner / @stepintotherevolve​ (22.171, complete, rated E)

summary: The Bellas go on a ski trip and Staubrey happens

notes: this has amazing smut and features just enough jealousy to spark these two idiots into a meaningful talk. there’s also side bechloe and a healthy dose of humour.  

The Howl

by @tiny-maus-boots​ (30.739, wip/currently being written, AU)

summary: Stacie's pack is forcing her into a corner but Fate has other plans for her - if she doesn't die first.

notes: werewolf!Stacie and vampire!Aubrey who meet on a full moon and fuck. there’s more to it and a great backstory that’s being wonderfully developed (trust me, I’ve been told of the plans and I’m ri-ve-ted). also has some amazing soft moments and a fab spark of heat.  

Prelude in Lydian Mode

by knappster / @ss-staubrey​ (5972, complete)

summary: Remember tonight... for it is the beginning of always.

notes: I will rec this fic til the day I die. It’s such a lovely brand of staubrey and a perfect example of the idiots to lovers trope.  

and the songbirds are singing (like they know the score)

by angelranger (2326, complete)

summary: It came as a slight surprise to Stacie that Aubrey, the same Aubrey who had grown up in a strict and dysfunctional household, was just so good with her daughter.

Bella seemed to unearth a side of Aubrey that was just so unbelievably soft, a side Stacie is almost positive even Aubrey didn’t know existed. But there she is, sat on the carpeted floor in front of the coffee table, sat right next to Bella, drawing outlines for the four year old to colour in.

notes: oh god i love a good, soft bella fic and this one hits all the right notes. it’s sweet and lovely and features singing Bella to sleep which is like. my weakness. go leave some more love on this deserved fic!

Sansa x Margaery

The Crackpots and These Women

by Netgirl_y2k (8089, complete, WEST WING AU)

summary: "You're in charge of press relations," Yara told Margaery, gesturing to Sansa. "Relate.”

summary: yeah you read that fuckin right that’s a West Wing AU. My love for this mashup has no bounds. It’s so perfectly coy, the way I imagine adult Sansa and Margaery would be, combined with the hopeful tinge of WW, and the pining of a somewhat open ended yet hopeful finish. If you like either of these universes, read this.  

Kind Regards

by MsCFH / @hell-much (9835, complete, explicit, part of a series!)

summary: Margaery Tyrell is determined on setting foot in the Northern market of Westeros by establishing a collaboration between the Tyrell Corporation and Stark Incorporated.

The only problem? The likewise gorgeous and stubborn Deputy Managing Director Sansa Stark.

summary: holy hell this fic is amazing. they hate each other SO MUCH. the author has a vibe setting skill that makes me want to weep. the smut is off the charts hot like there are literally no words. go read it and then read the series bc it’s *that good*. please go get your church lady fan before reading because you WILL need it.  

EXTRA NOTE: same author is writing a post-s6 canon compliant fic where Marg is actually still alive and if you’re looking for a full weekend activity, go ahead and binge this one (it’s a wip but is still being updated)

lay all your love on me

by 1once (9498, complete, show-compliant)

summary: It has been eight years since her demise.

But for the world of her, she cannot figure out why. For what? Why was she alive?

notes: i will say just one thing: flower. magic. okay, i’ll say more things. this fic is the redemption show!marg deserved combined with the fun supernatural magicky aspect of flower magic that’s just so in character. reading this fic feels the way a warm cup of tea in your hands on a cold winter’s day does.  

til you come back home

by heart_nouveau (7978, complete, AU - modern setting)

summary: “Using one-night stands to distract myself from my crush on my roommate counts, right?”

-

Margaery Tyrell is an ambitious law student who needs a perfect grade point average if she wants to stay at the top of her class - and she is not going to throw that away by falling for her very attractive, very sweet roommate, one Sansa Stark.

notes: margaery is a moron with feelings aka my favourite type of character.  

Birds of Prey’s Dinah x Helena

Siren Call

by ThanksForListening (3300, complete, part 2 of a series) 

summary: "It always happened in the quiet moments. The early hours of the morning, when the leftover energy from a mission hadn’t quite disappeared yet. The sleepless nights, when memories clawed their way into her mind and wouldn’t let go until her screams released them. The lazy afternoons, when the radio played softly and melodies she’d almost forgotten danced around her lips. It was only when the world went still that Dinah felt her watching.

She didn’t remember the first time she noticed it. The staring. Maybe it was because Helena was always watching everything and everyone around them that Dinah didn’t realize how frequently that attention fell on her. How it felt different. Helena looked at the world with suspicion and anger and indifference, but not her. She looked at her with something much softer, something she hadn’t found a name for just yet. No word in her arsenal was deep enough or strong enough to describe it.

Whatever it was, she could feel it now.”

notes: gahhhhh this fic. “What do you see,” she finally asked, “when you look at me?” is a line that I’m gonna think about until the day I die. this is the second fic in a series and you can read it as a standalone but the first fic is also fuckin amazing

after the afterparty

by novoaa1 (1181, complete, set right after the movie ends)

summary: The Canary had let loose a delighted snort at that, as if she found the whole thing somehow laughable.

(Which it wasn’t, to be clear—laughable, that is.)

“Are y'all seeing this shit?” she’d turned to ask the rest of them, earning a giddy squeal from Harley and a bemused scoff from Montoya even whilst Helena remained stock still in place, dutifully blinding herself with one hand. “Absolutely adorable.”

“Shut up,” Helena had hissed back more out of instinct than anything else, though her tone was markedly devoid of any real anger.

(And if Helena had felt her cheeks flush ever so slightly beneath her palm at the Canary’s glib assertion, she certainly didn’t let on.)

Or: Sionis falls. The rest of them remain.

notes: just. read it.  

knew your love (before i kissed you)

by z0ejake / @zxyjxy (58.263, wip / currently being written, rated E for the last chapter)

summary: Surviving the massacre of your entire family at the age of eight is a pretty impressive feat. Training for fifteen years in Sicily until you can kill a man with one hand and a hairpin is also a pretty impressive feat. Returning to the city where your family was cut down and killing every single person involved in their deaths is maybe the most impressive feat. Somehow, it's never been enough for Helena.

notes: bro this fic is a masterpiece and zoe is a genius. features absolute moron feral dumb jock helena and my favourite version of dinah: patient and endeared and a little teasing.  

the war is over (and we are beginning)

by ace_verity (12.573, 5/5, complete)

summary: The thing is, Helena has no idea what comes after.

The past fifteen years, she’s had a singular goal. She's never given any thought to what she’d do once she killed the men who murdered her family in front of her.

Maybe, Helena realizes, she never actually thought she’d make it this far.

—

In which Helena Bertinelli joins a team, buys a cactus, beats up criminals, goes to church, bakes bread, and falls in love.

(Not necessarily in that order.)

notes: this fic is beautiful and perfectly explores a lost Helena. I also love the way Renee is written in this and the whole vibe of the story is just *chefs kiss*

cheap shampoo

by OfElvesAndAliens (1609, complete)

summary: The thing is, Helena is a rigidly focused kind of gal, iron rage forged into skilled precision. Dinah has also noticed it in the little things, like the way she frowns a bit when she's doing something as trivial as writing, her penmanship always neat and firm. That same tiny furrow of her brow is showing up again while she's methodically whisking some eggs in a bowl.

Dinah finds it cute. Fucking sue her.

notes: oh god but i love a bedsharing fic and this one? feeding and post-mission and just winding down together??? ohhhh my god

two extra random goodies just for fun:

Lamplighter

by the_years_between_us (116.915, wip, rated E)

show/ship: The Fall, Stella Gibson/Reed Smith

summary: Stella gets a call from Reed directly following the final episode of The Fall S3.

notes: this is one of only a handful of wips that I’m keeping up with and reading constantly. It’s written like goddamn poetry and I love an older ship with more baggage, because the emotions here run so much higher with their shared history and the tentative steps they’re trying to take. Also, given the source material, this is almost cathartic to read.  

Nothing to Lose*

by tielan (8013, complete, rated E)

fandom/ship: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Maria Hill/Steve Rogers

summary: “It’s one of the traditional rituals of manhood,” Natasha observes as they’re sparring. “Kill a man, fuck a woman.”

notes: listen. i know. okay? i know this seems like a crackship. but I love it SO MUCH and this author writes so well that I’ve been fully converted. ~something some of you have told me I do for you~ so go read this fic, and then read the others, and then fall in love and join me in this lonely ship. You won’t regret it.  

I’ll be writing while in isolation so if you have any Dinah/Helena or Stacie/Aubrey prompts, shoot ‘em my way!

and also hit me up for anything, as always. 

peace and love, and stay safe everybody!

#fic rec #shoutout to anybody I may have missed bc I wrote this in a hurry <3 #anonymous #anon #ask