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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years

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like no one does

written for my @stb-bingo square: G1 - Tuxedo, with 1.8k of soft stevetony, love confessions, and single dad tony

also on ao3

Tony slumps back against the wall of the elevator, leaning his head against the cool metal and hooking his fingers under his collar to loosen the bowtie. There’s a dull throbbing at the base of his skull that’s been slowly spreading upwards all night with every painful conversation. He hates nights like this, where he has to dress in his absolute best just to talk to a room full of people he either doesn’t know at all or knows too well and doesn’t like.

Playing the game never gets any easier, he’s come to realize. Sure, he knows all of his lines now and knows how to play the part, but he still feels just as numb and empty at the end of each night as he did right at the beginning. The only difference now is that there’s someone waiting for him on the other side, and tonight he’s lucky enough to get two someones.

The elevator doors open, and Tony huffs as he’s forced to stand up straight again. The entry to the penthouse is dark when he walks in, setting down his wallet and keys on the side table. Light is flickering from the television in the living room, and Tony follows it like a beacon to find a blonde head poking out from the couch.

Tony flops down over the back of the couch, letting his head fall onto Steve’s shoulder without so much as a hello first. Steve must not have heard him come in, because he jumps at the sudden contact before relaxing when he sees it’s just Tony. Steve’s fingers thread through his hair, and Tony lets out a heavy sigh as his nails lightly scrape against his scalp.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Steve murmurs. He stretches one arm out for the remote without dislodging Tony’s head from his shoulder and turns down the volume of the TV so it’s just a hum in the background.

“Hi,” Tony mumbles. “Peter in bed?”

Steve nods, “For a couple hours now. He wasn’t a fan of how I did the voices in his book, because apparently Grover doesn’t sound like that. I thought it was pretty spot on myself, but hey, Peter knows best.”

Tony snorts, knowing exactly what Peter’s face would have looked like when Steve didn’t do the voice the way he likes it. The little frown on his lips and big brown eyes that always make him feel like he’s committed some kind of horrible offense by not getting his accents exactly right.

“If it helps, Rhodey is the only one who actually does it right. He banned me from reading that one to him a long time ago.”

“Oh, good,” Steve laughs. “I thought I was the only one on the banned list.”

“Nah, it’s you, me, Pepper, and Happy. The kid’s got specific tastes.”

“Wow, I wonder where he gets it from.”

Tony pouts, “Don’t be mean to me. I had a long night.”

Steve twists himself so he can press a kiss to Tony’s temple. “Why don’t you come sit next to me for a little while? I can tell you all about how you can make a grilled cheese wrong.”

Tony debates just throwing himself over the couch and seeing where he lands, but the consequences probably aren’t worth saving himself twenty seconds. He straightens to walk to the other side, then sets himself between Steve’s legs with his back to Steve’s chest. Steve shifted when Tony stood to rest against the corner of the couch, and their legs stretch out together. He’s badly wrinkling his tuxedo, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Tony twines his fingers with Steve’s on his stomach and tilts his head back to rest against Steve’s shoulder, sighing contently. “Alright, enlighten me on how you make a grilled cheese wrong.”

“First, you start by being anyone but you, apparently,” Steve says lightly. “Then you proceed with the rest of the steps exactly as you left in the instructions, and by the end, Peter looks at you like you’ve just insulted his very being.”

Tony laughs, covering his eyes with his hand, “Oh, God. I’m sorry. He didn’t do this to you all night, did he?”

“No, he was actually great,” Steve says, and Tony can hear the smile in his voice. “He said I’m better at coloring than you are, so watch out, because I’ll be his favorite soon.”

“You’ll be taking it from Rhodey, not me,” Tony jokes.

Steve holds him a little tighter, hand finding its way back to his hair. He massages the base of Tony’s skull with gentle pressure, alleviating some of the tension from the headache that Tony isn’t sure how Steve knows he has. “I don't know about that. He spent the whole night telling me all his favorite things to do with you. It was really sweet.”

“So things were good?” Tony asks hesitantly. It was the first time Steve has been alone with Peter for more than five minutes since the start of their relationship eight months ago, and he wasn’t really sure if they were ready for that yet. The gala forced his hand though, as his usual babysitter couldn’t make it and everyone else had to be in attendance at the same event. He was intending just to skip it when Steve offered to look after him for the night.

“Things were good,” Steve confirms. “We had grilled cheese, colored together, played with legos, then we watched Finding Nemo, and he handed me a tissue when I cried.”

Tony grins, “You cried?”

“He told me you cried during Up the other day, so don’t even start.”

“Everyone cries during Up, Steven,” Tony defends. “Well, except for Peter, because I don’t think he really understood what was happening at the beginning.”

Steve hums, “I can watch him anytime you need me to, you know. I like spending time with him, and,” Steve pauses like he’s deciding on the words, “I like that you trust me with him.”

“Of course I trust you. I wouldn’t still be with you if I didn’t,” Tony says. He tilts his head, pressing a kiss to the underside of Steve’s jaw. “Peter, he’s my most important thing, and you’ve never made me feel bad about that. You understand it when I have to cancel sometimes or when I’m late because Peter was having a bad day. And he doesn’t really like a lot of people, but he asks about you every day he doesn’t see you.

“I don’t really know where I’m going with this, because I’m tired and I don’t think I’m making any sense, but I guess if there was a point it would be that he likes you, and I know you care about him, and I really like that. It’s - it’s good.”

“I do care about him,” Steve says, leaning forward so he can kiss Tony’s lips softly. “And I care about you, which is why I’m going to take care of you and get you to bed.”

Steve slips out from behind him and gets one hand under Tony’s knees while the other arm wraps around his back. Smiling, Tony holds onto Steve’s shoulders and lets him carry him down the hall.

“How’s your headache?” Steve asks.

“It’s gone thanks to you,” Tony says as Steve pushes the bedroom door open with his elbow. “I don’t know how you knew I even had one.”

“Your eye was doing that twitchy thing.”

“That twitchy thing?”

Steve nods, setting Tony down on the edge of the bed. “Your left eye does a thing when you have a headache and the lights are too much.”

Steve kneels in front him and unties his shoelaces, while Tony tries to swallow around the lump in his throat. “You know that, huh?”

Putting the first shoe to the side, Steve puts the sock with it and starts on the other. “And I also know that you’re probably hungry still, because you never really eat at those things, but you can’t eat right now or else you’ll get a stomach ache because it’s too late at night.”

The second shoe and sock join the first, and Steve rises to his feet to work on undoing Tony’s bowtie with nimble fingers. “You should have some water before bed, though, or you’re going to wake up with a new headache. I’m sure you only had one glass of champagne, but you’re a lightweight nowadays, darling.”

Steve sets the tie on the bed and reaches down to undo the buttons on his jacket, then the ones on his vest. The cufflinks come off next, and while Steve sets them back in their box on the dresser, Tony shrugs out of the jacket and vest. Steve straightens them out of the crumple Tony left them in when he comes back. His hands move to the buttons on his shirt, and Tony catches his wrist before he undoes anything.

“You don’t have to,” Tony says, even though he wants him to. “I can do it myself.”

Steve smiles, dipping his head down to kiss Tony’s forehead. “I know you can, but I’m taking care of you.”

There are unspoken words behind the statement, and Tony thinks about them while Steve takes his time working open the buttons on his shirt. They haven’t said them yet because Tony wanted to wait. He said from the start that he needed slow, warned Steve that he would need more time than most, and Steve surprised him by not only saying he was okay with it, but actually being okay with it.

But eight months in, Tony doesn’t know why he’s waiting still. He’s felt it for a while now, and he knows that Steve feels it as well. It’s plain on his face every time he looks at him, in his eyes as clear as if it was written there.

Steve reaches the bottom of his shirt, and gentle hands push the fabric from his shoulders to leave him in the undershirt and black trousers. He turns after that, heading for Tony’s closet and opening a drawer.

He comes back with Tony’s favorite pair of gray sweats in his hand and asks, “Are sweatpants alright, babe?”

Tony doesn’t know why, but he laughs. Steve gives him a confused but amused look in return, not following along with wherever Tony’s head is at, but knowing well enough that he isn’t laughing at him.

“So they’re either okay or it’s a hilariously bad suggestion,” Steve says.

Tony stands up, walking over to where Steve is standing, backlit by the light from the closet. He stands on the tips of his toes and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck. Steve returns the embrace automatically, strong arms enveloping him in comfort and warmth.

He says it before he can talk himself out of it or find a reason why not to. “I love you.”

Steve gives him a soft smile and lifts one hand to cup Tony’s cheek. “Well that’s really nice to finally hear.”

“I wouldn’t know. You haven’t said it back.”

Steve laughs, and he leans down to kiss Tony soundly. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against Tony’s and whispers, “I love you, too.”

#stevetony #my writing #my fic #stb bingo #superhusbands #superfamily

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yeonchi · 4 years

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Sasha Fokin (Crazy Ukranian Kid) - Behind the Meme

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The language barrier is such a wonderful thing. Without the ability to understand the context behind something, we can react to it any way we want. As such, people are so easy to judge others.

The three-minute video above is usually the only thing that Westerners know about Sasha (because this is usually the only bit that gets used in memes and as such, is the only bit that gets translated). Sasha’s story is a two-parter that premiered in December 2011 with a lot of golden meme material left untapped. I know because I bothered to watch the videos and I used a bit of extra material in my own parodies, which I did in high school.

This show is a Ukranian adaptation of the BBC show Honey, We’re Killing the Kids, which was broadcast from 2005 to 2007. The show’s name in Ukranian is Кохана, ми вбиваємо дітей (Kokhana, my vbyvayemo ditey) and amazingly, it was broadcast on STB from 2011 to 2017. I mean, is it really surprising for a channel that has been known for reality TV?

I must warn you, I am only able to recap Sasha’s story (in the two-parter) from what I can see. The show was broadcast in Ukranian, but YouTube’s auto-transcription system assumes that it’s Russian, so the English translation I get is not very good. Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.

Context

11-year-old Sasha lives with his mother Elena and 5-year-old little brother Oleksiy. Elena is a single OL, so presumably Sasha and Oleksiy are left at home. Sasha is addicted to computer games and television. He is known to play violent and gory video games. We see him laughing at a violent cartoon. There was a line where he said something that translated to “swears, blood and tits”. He and his brother are known to fight each other and they don’t eat healthily. His grandmother can’t control him and he refuses to do his homework.

The brothers are taken to do some tests to analyse their current condition. Elena meets with the host, Dmytro Karpachov, who shows them simulated images of what Sasha and Oleksiy would probably look like in their current situation when they turn 40. Sasha kind of looks like Sal from Futurama while Oleksiy reminds me of Brad Garrett (who played Robert in Everybody Loves Raymond). The life expectancy of Ukranian men at the time was 62; it was predicted that Sasha and Oleksiy’s life expectancies would be 59 and 57 respectively. Dmytro gives the family a few rules to live by for the week, which include limiting their screen time and only playing non-violent games, a change in diet and giving the brothers their own spaces.

Next, we see the family implementing their new rules for the first week. The brothers don’t want to eat the healthy food and Sasha begins playing his violent games again. We then come to the first half of the meme video, up to the point where Sasha goes into the kitchen and starts whacking some papers on the chair. What you didn’t see after that was that Elena came into the kitchen and Sasha attempts to attack her with anything he could find. She lectures him for a long time and Sasha is finally convinced to do his homework.

The next day, Sasha and Oleksiy are taken to a karate class in the hope that they can get some exercise. Interestingly, he gets interviewed during the class while the other kids stand in a line behind him. We then see them back at home practising their karate moves. Elena prepares a healthy dinner and both Sasha and Oleksiy are willing to eat it. They have the bedroom renovated and they get the kids involved.

On the third day, the kids are taken to a speech therapist. Upon getting home, Sasha is on the computer again and in getting him to do his homework, there is a verbal altercation between him and Elena. Elena has someone come in to create a new user account for Sasha so she can limit his use of the computer. This leads us to the second half of the meme video. Sasha goes on the computer and is led to use the new account that was made for him. He discovers that he can’t access his games or the internet. There’s the bit from the video where he makes a creepy smile and says “I will install all the games”. The ensuing argument is skipped in the meme video, up to when Elena gets Sasha to turn off the computer and she throws the keyboard away when she can’t. We then have the scene where Sasha starts crying and screaming at his mother. That’s when the meme video usually ends, but what happens after that is absolute meme gold. Elena and Sasha start fighting again, at which point the former gets psychologist Igor Artemyeva (he’s not the father) to restrain him (I interpreted it as a rape scene in my parody). This ends Part 1.

Part 2 starts with Elena seeing Dmytro to discuss their progress. He implements three new rules on top of the previous three; “it’s time to grow up”, meaning that they should start living a more adult-conscious life, “get to know the world”, which I might have mistranslated because of auto-translate, but he arranges for them to visit an animation studio, and also for Elena to “care for [herself] more”. Yeah, I kind of borked there. I’m starting the days again.

During what seems to be the second week, Elena goes for a snorkelling session at the pool while Sasha goes to buy food and make dinner. The next day, they go to visit the animation studio, where they make a clay stop-motion cartoon. Knowing Sasha, there is a violent nature to it, but it’s as violent as Dynasty Warriors is “violent”.

Later, Sasha helps plan his birthday party and we see his friends during the party. It’s unclear to me what happens after that, but from what I can make out, we see him bending the rules at home, making food in the kitchen, going to school, coming back from school, has a friend come over, then his grandma comes over and they have what seems to be a little argument about homework or something.

At the end of the week, they see Dmytro again and he implements three more new rules for the next week; “fight against aggression”, “help and respect your elders” and “win against the computer” or something like that, I dunno, there was a finish flag there.

During the next week, the family goes go-carting. While Elena is at work, Sasha learns how to take care of the house and do his homework. He also learns to build a canvas wardrobe. Sasha and Oleksiy start fighting again and there’s another interpreted rape scene where Sasha unzips his pants (but not his underwear) and pretends to pee on Oleksiy. After comforting Oleksiy (this kid, I swear), Elena makes a life-size punching doll for them to punch and hit all they want.

This is where things start to go back to where they were. After some days, Sasha somehow goes back on the computer again. His grandmother comes in and confronts him and there’s this bit where during an altercation, Sasha pushes her away and goes back on the computer.

During Elena’s final meeting with Dmytro, she did not seem positive about the changes. The simulation of Oleksiy at 40 shows a marked improvement over the initial simulation, but Sasha didn’t seem to change much. Dmytro states to Elena that there were rules she didn’t fully implement and some generally ignored. Later on, Dmytro goes to visit the family at their home. He finds Sasha still at the computer and in trying to speak to him, he gets sworn at.

This ends Part 2. There was also a set of behind-the-scenes footage that wasn’t in the episode, but is pretty memetic. Once again, a lot of things have gotten lost in translation, but I managed to get the gist of it. If anyone wants to correct me on something or enlighten me on the full details of what happened, feel free to contact me.

Sasha revisited

In 2015, Sasha, Oleksiy and Elena are interviewed in a special episode of the show filmed in front of a studio audience. I remember downloading the raw footage of it from VK and using the Sasha portion of it for another parody. It was nearly 30 minutes long and I had to fill it with random dialogue. I deleted the raw footage afterwards, but this YouTuber did a reaction video on that, which you can find here. And finally, you can see Sasha in glorious widescreen. In that 2015 interview, footage from this video was shown of him at school seemingly fighting a couple of others.

Around 2017, Sasha started posting on YouTube. For those of you who were wondering, 2017 Sasha looked about the same as 2015 Sasha, so this image is fake news. He’s basically a fucking gopnik now. He did a few crazy videos, but he also did a few videos talking about his time on the show as well. A couple of these “crazy” videos include this one, which seems to be some kind of debate between beer and cider that quickly turns violent, and this one, which seems to be an attempt at gopnik rap (fuck you, there’s no hardbass in this). He also did this reenactment of some key moments from the two episodes. He also had an Instagram account, but it seems to have been deleted.

This is one of the videos in which he shares his feelings about his time on the show. Gathering from this video and some other articles, I deduced that he was bullied by everyone at school after they heard about his family’s problems and was forced to change schools as a result. He also states that he doesn’t know how to act around girls, but I think that’s a separate thing considering there are other people with this problem. In this video, he mentions an incident where he shat himself in class because his tea was laced with laxatives.

Presently, he doesn’t keep up a regular social media appearance. Most of his interactions are isolated to VK, so I have no idea about it.

My thoughts

A lot of people know about Christian Weston Chandler’s life and how he is a “victim” of the trolling he received because he divulges lots of details and/or the trolling is very well-documented. Many people might have a one-sided view of him, that is, you hate him or you feel sorry for him, but there are some who have mixed feelings because of all the factors in his life that made him the way he is. CWC is different from Sasha in that even if you got both sides of the story for the former, you’d still hate him for a variety of reasons.

While there are not a lot of details on the internet (in English) about Sasha, I’d have to be one of the few people who actually feel somewhat sorry for him, after having learnt about what happened after his appearance on the show. Reality TV becomes the talk of the town and if Sasha or Minami-chan (from Japanese Kitchen Nightmares) are anything to go by, it’s that certain people, who the show seemingly fails because they don’t want to be helped themselves, are mocked quite frequently. These two have changed with time, so maybe people should be more forgiving when they see the “where are they now” stuff about them.

At the time when I made the Sasha parodies, I was under the impression that Elena was just a strict mother who was trying to get Sasha off the computer. However, some years and a lot of thinking later, I learnt that Elena was a shitty mother overall. In the end, while she got Oleksiy to eat his vegetables, she couldn’t get Sasha to control his time on the computer or respect his elders. I have mixed feelings for the older Sasha, though; there were photos and videos of him smoking, drinking and being a gopnik, but in other photos and videos, he seemed more mature.

I tried to understand Sasha’s situation as best as I could so I could make this post, but as I said, there are still things that are lost in translation and I might not understand him as well as I might think. I think the bottom line for us Westerners is, given that the meme is practically dead, that Elena was a shitty parent during the program and Sasha was bullied because of it and his actions, but he eventually became mature, even if he did have that gopnik phase. And I swear, sooner or later, I’ll have someone tell me, “Stop saying ‘gopnik’, it’s derogatory to us Slav’s!”

#crazy ukranian kid #sasha fokin

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nomimits7 · 5 years

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Undesirable ~ A drabble

Title: Undesirable

Genre: Drabble

Pairing: OT7 x reader

Warnings: uhh… I honestly don’t know… Maybe Yandere behaviour? Its not that bad honestly. I was just bored.

Summery: a simple drabble about you being kidnapped. I came up with this idea as I was walking to my car. Hope you like it!!

•Δ•

"Are you certain this is her car hyung?" Jungkook askes as he pulls out a cigarette from his back pocket.

"Yes, I've been studying her movements for weeks now. I am certain. It’s this white golf with the eye-sunscreen thingy. And no JK ... she did not see me. No one ever does" Yoongi answers as he steals Jungkooks bud, leaving the younger pouting.

All seven boys gather on the curb close to the marked car. They can't afford to draw attention to your car or themselves, not if they want to do what they are planning on doing. And they were planning on succeeding no matter what.

STB the campus most feared gang group. Or well that was the cover they preferred to go by. Every time they step foot on these grounds, they pull on literal and figurative masks. No one knows them and no one dares to even try to get to know them.

"Where is she? It’s been over half an hour!" Hoseok said as he stood to pace the length of the walkway.

"Give it a little more time. I heard she had a test today at the other end of campus. But she parked here this morning. Hyung saw her." Namjoon stated.

They all were impatient to get you. Take you, hide you, Use you ... You were one of a kind they couldn’t afford to let this chance slip through their fingers.

"Wait, that’s definitely her... There's no mistake..." Seokjin said as his eyes grew dark. Six pairs of eyes shifted to the eldest line of sight. Six pairs of eyes all grew just as dark as the elders once they found you.

Down the road a female figure was approaching. Her boots clanking on the tar as she made her way across the road. Thick jacket and all... hair in disarray, glasses low on her nose and shoulders hunched forward. Her pace is slow, her steps tired as the sun hangs low, signalling the day to come to an end.

"She's tired" Jimin stated with a smile.

Good

•Δ•

If you had to choose one word to describe your day-to-day life, you would use the word Mundane. Nothing exciting ever happened to you. You were that typical, undesirable girl no one ever paid attention to. Yes, you were an outgoing type of person, but you could never exercise this quality.

There was nothing special to you. Well, nothing you could see.

You sighed out loud as you reflected on the week you had. Class was hell, two practical’s and five tests in three days. To say you were tired would be way to far from the truth. You were looking forward to kicking your shoes off, drinking a beer and watching some funny videos on YouTube. A simple, being-lazy evening is what you needed.

Nearing your car, you failed to notice the seven eyes locked on you. You failed to see the seven men standing and stalking closer to you. You failed to see the other students stopping and turning around to get away. You also failed to see the sadistic smiles grazing their faces.

You failed, until a strong hand grazed your shoulder. Gripping it tightly as a deep voice echoed in your left ear.

“Hello flower. Mind giving us a lift?”

Blood running cold, you turned around, ready to punch the living soul out of the person who dared touch you in your current mood, only to be met with dark eyes staring back at you. Taehyung locked his gaze with you as Jimin and Jungkook took your possessions from your hands.

His eyes were dark, yet there was something, something that made you step forward to gaze deeper. Before you knew it, you were sucked into a pitch-black portal. Falling deeper into the trap of eternal darkness. You lost control of yourself as the darkness slowly pulled your soul from your body, feeding of the small light it had. The darkness consumed you whole, and you just let it, curious to what it could do to you and how far it would go.

Your body went limp and someone grabbed you before you could hit the ground. You felt as light as a feather being swept up by the strong wind. Reaching higher with each step the wind took. Right before you could touch the clouds you were tumbling down into a land filled with vivid dreams and unforgettable faces.

•Δ•

“I knew she was the one. She looks so sweat like this hyung.” Jungkook said as he stoked some hair from your face. You were beautiful indeed. The most unperfect, perfect human out there. A sad smile formed on each boys face as they all watched you curiously.

“She sure is something out of this world.” Hoseok said before starting the SUV and driving off, away from campus, from people.

None of the boys expected the bond to work on you. It has failed them so many times that they were near the point of giving up. The bond could only work if the other was pure in more ways than one. Not pure in the sense of a spotless track record, pure in the sense of belief. Believing in the thing humans deem unworthy to pay any attention to.

You were that someone. A rare sight in the world of today. You were the cure they needed, the missing piece.

“How much time do we have hyung?” Jimin asked as he closely observed your face. It was truly a remarkable sight. Your face wasn’t blemish free or even one that could be classified as uniquely beautiful, yet there was something… different to it.

“I’m not sure how long she’ll be knocked out but let’s get as far as we can. We’ll handle it when it comes to that point.” Namjoon said.

They left your car, hidden of course, no one could suspect foul play. They couldn’t risk taking you with your possessions let alone your car. They have never done this and therefore tried to eliminate as much threats and traces of them even being there as possible.

The black SUV you were currently traveling in fell into a comfortable silence as the sun began to dip lower. To their utter relief you did, in fact, not wake up while traveling. After quiet some time they finally arrived at their destination. An old house, straight out of a horror film. This, this is where they’ll do what needed to be done for their own survival. They all were new to this… this condition and if they didn’t do something fast, they would not see the next day.

•Δ•

Your dreams were filled with snapshots of faces and glowing eyes, red stain marks and dark unending rooms. You were running but never escaping. You were scared, very much scared for you knew these dreams weren’t good. You believed all dreams held a message and usually these messages are very closely attached to the dreams itself.

Screams filled your head as the dreams began again. Each time they got worse, sometimes even overlapping making them even more disturbing and more unbearable.

You woke up screaming as someone shook you violently. As soon as your eyes met the guilty party, you instantly calmed down. Those black orbs were, once again, trapping you inside them. But this time you weren’t pulled in, you were just trapped at the edge, waiting to fall in. With no control over your body, whatsoever, you mimicked the boy in front you. Slowly standing as he did, never breaking eye contact.

Just as fast as the spell captured you, you were released from its bond. Coming back to yourself you recognised the one in front of you as Yoongi. One of STB’s members. Yet, strangely you weren’t scared. To tell the truth you never were. These seven individuals only made you curious to who they are, rather than scared of them.

“Hi…” you softly said as you made eye contact with all seven. Your voice wasn’t weak, but it was far from strong and confident.

“Hi” Seokjin said as he gave you a sad smile. This only added to your already growing confusion. They didn’t appear threatening in the least, then why did they take you?

“Why am I here? Why did you take me?” you asked still relatively calm in contrast to the situation you were currently in.

“We’re sorry, we had to. You would never had come willingly.” Namjoon said. He also smiled sadly before Hoseok continued his unfinished message.

“And we’re sorry for what we’re about to do to you…”

Your blood ran cold as you finally took in your surroundings. The table, the chains, the syringes… you wanted to run. You wanted to scream. You wanted to be scared, yet there you were… smiling. All fear being replaced by peace as you finally spoke, taking them all by surprise as you did.

“It’s okay, I was wondering how long you would take to find me…”

#nomimits stuff #nomimits drabbles

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rieshon · 5 years

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Winter 2019 Season Preview

I can't believe it's another goddamn year. 2019 marks my fifteenth year of watching anime, which fucks me up to even write. The about 540 anime I've seen in the intervening years doesn't even feel like that many when I think about how I've literally spent half my life watching these Chinese girl cartoons. Onwards and upwards, I guess.

1 Girly Air Force: Oh fuck yes. Sukasuka is still the best LN I've read, but Girly Air Force is far and away my favorite and it should be obvious why: it's got cute girls, it's got airplanes, it's got cute girls who ARE airplanes! The story is surprisingly well-done and if Satelight's adaptation is on point this could be a pretty good show. Phantom is best girl and Izawa Shiori sounds perfect as her, so we've already got that going for us.

2 Endoro~!: Okay, so Release the Spyce was bad. That's not Namori's fault, though, 'cause the characters were still adorable. This is Namori's next try at being an anime character designer, and it definitely looks better than Spyce ever did. Cute girl lighthearted fantasy is definitely a good genre (it's why I played Priconne for as long as I did despite the game being terrible) and the pastel colors all over this show tell me I'm home. Kaori, director of one of the best cute girl anime of the last decade, Yuyushiki, helms the project and venerable Studio Gokumi animates. Yeah, this is AOTS.

3 Kouya no Kotobuki Hikoutai: Based Tsutomu is BACK, babey! Somehow, this is his first TV project in three years (after the lackluster Mayoiga) though he's obviously been hard at work making more of Garupan as slowly as possible and probably also working on that Shirobako movie that's in the oven. I'm sure it's hard being an anime god. It's definitely disappointing that this is a full CG anime, but the fact that it's about planes and being made by Tsutomu is enough for me to overlook that fact. It's not quite the Daisan Hikou Shoujotai anime we've all been waiting for, but it's close enough.

4 Ueno-san wa Bukiyou: I have a hard time believing this will be anything but comedy of the season in three months' time. The excerpts from the manga I have seen are amazing, and the trailers have been brilliant as well. Plus, Serizawa Yuu in the lead role, and it also has one of the surest signs of a comic hit (at least in my book) which is the male lead also being played by a girl―Tanaka Aimi in this case. The character designs definitely capture tugeneko's unique style. This should be great.

5 Watashi ni Tenshi ga Maiorita!: Clearly this is the spiritual successor to Uzamaid. Perverted channee hnnngs over some cute lolis? That's almost always good. Said lolis look incredibly adorable, and the protagonist will be played by the always-brilliant Ueda Reina, who should shine in a role like this. It's definitely hard to imagine this one missing.

6 Kakegurui XX: I never expected this show to get a sequel, but I'm sure not complaining about it. Everyone's favorite hot Akagi expy is back, babey. I can't wait to see some more sexy gambles. Hearing Hayamin's lewd voice is worth the price of admission by itself, and it looks like there are new hot channees coming by the truckload in this second season. Sign me the fuck up.

7 Gotoubun no Hanayome: I'm mad at this show because I thought Ayaneru was supposed to play all five heroines, but apparently that was just for a commercial for the manga and they cast five different people for the actual anime. I wanted to hear quintuple Ayaneru! This show still looks like a good harem, though, and of course does still provide one Ayaneru. The rest of the cast are no slouches either, and despite the Ayaneru presence I think Ayachi's character looks like the best girl.

8 Domestic na Kanojo: Schoolteacher romance anime!?! FUUUCK YES. This is exactly what the doctor's been ordering. The Hiyocchi-voiced sensei looks adorable (as all anime teachers should be) and I am just 100% here for what is happening. There's also another cute girl, but, just give me Hina-sensei and I'll be happy.

9 Date A Live III: Hard to believe the original DAL anime was almost six years ago. I stopped following the series closely when DAL2 was bad, but I'm still excited for this new sequel. The girls are still great and so is the premise, they just need to actually have money to make a good anime this time around. Happily, J.C. Staff have been pegged to animate this time instead of the perenially inconsistent Production IMS, with the principal creative staff (including director Motonaga Keitarou) still intact. So it should be pretty good!

10 Kemurikusa: Yes Tatsuki, yes tanoshi! I still haven't seen Kemono Friends so I can't speak personally to Tatsuki's alleged genius but I have seen some of his short anime he posts online and they're always brimming with atmosphere, so I'm excited to check this out.

11 Mahou Shoujo Tokushusen Asuka: The latest in a seemingly endless line of anime that ask, 'How can we take the concept of magical girls but make it edgy?' Okay, I admit, the idea of magical girls who wield Kalashnikov rifles is actually pretty great... It just depends on how seriously the show takes itself, because this is not a concept that should be played straight. Strike The Blood's Yamamoto Hideo is set to direct, and STB was a show that definitely knew how to toe the line between serious action and lighthearted antics, so hopefully it will be good.

12 Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai ~Tensai-tachi no Ren'ai Zunousen~: Though I'm a long-established devotee of the Church of Blondenblu, black hair and red eyes is pretty close behind as far as I'm concerned, so this show's titular Kaguya-sama definitely looks good. Plus that forehead! There's also a nice blondenblu girl voiced by Hanabee. Looks like a cute romantic comedy.

13 Manaria Friends: Yeah, this is finally happening after years of development hell, apparently being produced entirely in-house by Cygames and their animation studio CygamesPictures. From what I hear, this is supposed to be a lot different from the mainline Bahamut anime: kind of nichijou-kei, and apparently gay as hell. Cute girl and her demon girlfriend? Yep, sign me the fuck up.

14 Circlet Princess: It's always good when the "story" tab on your show's website is under construction when your show starts in like two weeks. This is apparently based on a DMM web game, but the writer and designer is Kio Nachi, who was responsible for the game and anime of the way-better-than-it-should-have-been Ao no Kanata no Fourhythm, so it might be good. The voice cast is a star-studded assemblage of veterans like Gotou Mai, Nabatame Hitomi, and Mizuhashi Kaori... With the turnover in the seiyuu industry as of late it's nice to see that vets like this can still get main-cast roles and aren't just relegated to playing the moms of the latest 18 year old darling. But I digress.

15 Boogiepop wa Warawanai: Otherwise known as Boogiepop Phantom in the West, this is the latest classic property to get the remake treatment. I've always meant to watch the original, but never did. Boogiepop was one of the original series to start the modern "light novel" movement, and I've always heard great things about it, but other than that I really know nothing about the story so I'll be going in blind. I'm sure Ao-chan and Oonishi will be great in it at least.

16 Rinshi!! Ekoda-chan: I have no idea what Ekoda-chan is about (other than it's a 4koma manga) but this adaptation looks like it's some art. Apparently every episode will have both a different director and a different actress playing the titular Ekoda-chan. Presumably, we are about to See Some Shit. Names set to direct episodes include some names like Sugii Gisaburou (Touch, Ginga Tetsudou no Yoru) and Mochizuki Tomomi (Ranma 1/2) and Kitani Yoshitomo (GaoGaiGar) so we're definitely in for something.

17 Egao no Daika: It's time for your seasonal dose of robot anime with hot girls in it. It's going to be awhile until I can see a show like this again and think "Gridman was better," but hey, this one's got some hot girls in it too. This is brought to us by longtime mecha anime guy Suzuki Toshimasa, who was responsible for a recent sentimental favorite of mine, Rinne no Lagrange. The character designs are the work of Nakamura Naoto, who also did the job on High School Fleet. That show was notable more than anything for having an incredibly large and diverse cast of incredibly cute girls, so that's a good sign.

18 Pastel Memories: This show has nothing to do with Plastic Memories, but that doesn't stop be from thinking of that every time I see the title. If you immediately suspect it to be a social game adaptation after seeing the art and logo, you would be extremely correct. The key visual on the show's homepage does not inspire confidence, but the animation looks fine in the PV at least. As a genre, "cute girls from social games fighting monsters" generally produces rubbish, but I appreciate that the action at least looks to be hand-drawn in this one. The show does have Rieshon in it, who I feel like I haven't heard in ages, so that's nice.

19 Bermuda Triangle ~Colorful Pastrale~: I've always been on record as saying mermaid girls suck because they don't have legs, and I still stand by that. Why should I get excited about a cute girl anime if there's no ftmm to ogle??? I'll still watch it cause it promises to be a nichijou-kei cute girl anime (and there's a channee mermaid who wears hoop earrings which almost makes up for the lack of legs) but I'm not going to be happy about it damnit.

20 Minitoji: It's some kind of SD Toji no Miko spinoff. I'm sure I'm in the minority just like, in general, but I really enjoyed Tojimiko so I'm happy enough to see this being made. It looks like the protagonist from the (truly dreadful) mobile game adaptation is making an appearance, so I guess that thing is making enough money to have this produced... Hey, if I get to see more of Hiyori-chan being gay, I'm down.

21 Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari: It's light novel anime. When the show's "characters" page is half dudes it's never a good sign, especially for a show in this genre. Probably the most interesting thing about it is that Kevin Penkin, who did the fantastic music for 2017's Made in Abyss returns to anime work here... But it will probably be in service of a lame, too self-serious fantasy plot with lots of dudes grimacing.

22 Grimms Notes The Animation: Grimms Notes is a shitty social game so you can already see where this is going. It feels like a waste of my time to even write a preview for it since I know I'll be dropping this before the first episode is even over. At least it has a blondenblu girl, I guess.

23 Yakusoku no Neverland: Did you guys know noitaminA is still a thing? Remember when it was relevant? This is this season's noitaminA show and it looks like exactly the kind of thing I watch out of obligation because it looks like "art" and then drop even after saying I'll give the second episode a chance. The protagonist's face gives me bad juju. At least most of the male characters are voiced by girls since they're kids.

24 revisions: Enver Hoxha's least-favorite anime is brought to us by Netflix. It looks like, honestly, exactly what I expect from Netflix at this point. The CG animation doesn't look great (Shirogumi doing it this time, instead of Netflix stalwart Polygon Pictures) and it has the same kind of serious sci-fi feel as shows like A.I.C.O. Incarnation. Probably won't be that good, but these shows that strive to feel like Western cable thrillers have a bad habit of being pretty easy watches.

25 Virtual-san wa Miteiru: I don't think I actually want to watch this. I like to watch some virtuals sometimes but... No.

#season preview

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thebogdanone · 4 years

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Short play from overheard...

(Miles and Scott are on their way to work. It's early, just past dawn, on a gloomy morning in London. They work in finance. They are both in their early 20's and are living the rather mundane lives of the work-a-day world but they work for a mysterious woman who runs a hedge fund. They are two of her staff of 18: all males, all brilliant, all in their early 20's. Neither Miles nor Scott can figure their boss out. She dresses as though she is heading out for an elegant evening every single day. She is in her early 50's (they guess) and she is rather stunning. She is always 100% put together; they have never seen her in jeans with hair pulled back and no make-up. When she arrives at the office (every single day at 7:45 sharp!) she spends 30 minutes at her computer — 30 minutes exactly — then she comes out of her office and into the board room where the entire staff have a morning meeting, every morning, at 8:15. The meeting lasts exactly 45 minutes — never longer and never shorter. She never raises her voice, she is always very clear with her instructions, and she is very polite when asking and answering questions. Needless to day moral in the office is excellent as are quarterly results. No one complains because everyone knows exactly what is expected of them. It’s like they are all living in a dorm and working on a senior finance project every single day. Then their boss leaves for the majority of the work day. She returns promptly at 4:15 PM. She is never late.)

(Blaring loudspeaker at the bus terminal)

Transit employee: "Attention please. All bus and tramway services are delayed due to dispatch problems. Again, all bus and tramway services are delayed due to dispatch problems. STB apologizes for the inconvenience and thanks you for your patience."

Scott: "Freaking great. What the hell is wrong with this city? We can't be late again.”

Miles: "Relax man, we've got time. Sooooo...how was the big date?"

Scott: "Yeah, we ended up not going."

Miles: "WTF...please don't tell me you chickened out."

Scott: "Naw man...its me, my head. I'm so F-ed up. I called her and cancelled when I walked by the theater on my way home and saw the line. I overheard someone say: 'They’re not getting in. There’s no way.' and I just thought it would be some weird, awkward moment standing in a line with a human I don't actually know and so I called her — at least I didn't text — and told her I had to work late. I know, I know, schmuck."

Miles: "What is your problem. Do you want to die a virgin?"

Scott: "At this point I think that may be my reality...really, my head is just so screwed up. Last night AGAIN I was just, like, running circles in my head. I couldn’t sleep. It’s terrible. All this week I’ve been so worried about work with the emails and all her visitors…I get like 200 a day and I can’t even read them until after our morning meetings. I don’t know. I really wish she was more into [inaudible] because this would all be going much better if she was."

Miles: "Dude, WTF, she is the most amazing boss. We have the cushiest jobs in all of London's finance district. Really! I mean why are you stressing. Most of the guys would die to be her assistant. You have got to relax. Take it easy. She is so chill...Shit man, we work for 'Madame Chill' for god’s sake!"

Scott: "Yeah man that's just it...maybe that IS IT! Maybe she's a madame!"

Miles: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? That chick Daisy you were supposed to go out with? Why the hell would you say she's a madame?"

Scott: "No! Idiot! Marnie, our boss, stupid! I'm serious…maybe…maybe she's a madame…?"

Miles: "What the fuck ever gave you that idea, man? You are nuts! She's a smart trust fund kid who decided she wanted to wear the pants and so she invested well, hired us idiots to manage her investments, and her life, and she goes off each day doing her thing. Shite, I think she deserves to do whatever she pleases — hair, nails, meet a man...whatever...as long as we all do our jobs and get paid. Why on earth would you be thinking that about her...your head really is screwed up!"

(Miles now moves around to look Scott in the eyes in an attempt to better evaluate this situation...)

Miles: "Really man I am worried about you..where is all of this coming from?"

Scott: "Naw man...really...you should see her personal date book…and what's even weirder is I think she is a madame for a stable of male prostitutes! No shite! The other day she was on the phone saying: 'I didn’t say Bogdan was getting fat; I said he was getting fatter!' and then she said 'maybe we should send him to that place in Florida for awhile and let Harrison take over his accounts.’ Come on Miles...what the hell do you think she is talking about? (more anxious, agitated and confused now...) I mean if she has another office of boys just like us she would not be discussing replacing brains in finance because they are getting fat...or would she...all these healthy lunch options and that new gym installed last year...maybe she's a fatist! That's IT! She's a fatist! Fuck...I knew it..."

Miles: Dude…man…dude…hold on there and calm the fuck down...your brain is firing on all pistons and revving out of control! A Madame...a stable of boys...a fatist...you really need calm down and I honestly think you need to see someone. This is insane thinking! Marnie is just a relaxed woman who has come into her own. Life is good for her and in turn it’s good for me...and for you too. We are the fortunate ones! Have you ever seen that woman get upset or ever raise her voice past her rather seductive default whisper? No. I bet you have not! Just because she is unconventional does not mean she is up to things untoward.

Scott: (running his hands through his hair and trying to shake himself out of it...) "I know, I know…man, I need ta charge my phone...is that a plug...what the heck is that thing? Do you know what that’s connected to? Wait; don’t TOUCH it!...I thinks it’s live! Shite I gotta get my head back to rights...I nearly electrocuted us!"

Miles: "Hey man, why don't we just sit over there and listen to some of my tracks. I downloaded these two new songs and they're kinda like modern manele."

(Scott takes ear pods from Miles)

Scott: "I’m sorry but cowboy music is nothing like manele.” (he hands the ear pods directly back to Miles shaking his head) "That shite is just raw sewage spewing in your ears. Your taste in music sucks man!"

Transit employee (over loudspeaker):"Good early morning; the buses are all running late today. Trams too."

Scott: "God, five more minutes and I'm Ubering it. I can't handle the stress of this commute much longer..."

(Just then the engines of the buses can be heard starting up and Miles and Scott queue to be amongst the first on the impending bus.)

(Like clockwork their work day begins at their morning meeting at 8:15. Marnie is looking especially smart today in a tight knee-length black suit with a deep V front and cream colored silk scarf just sneaking out from the collar. Her Louis Vuitton silver-toed pumps and seamed stockings complete the look. The meeting is like all the others, efficient, to the point, and lasting exactly 45 minutes. They are all back at their cubicles now and anticipating lunch.)

Miles (to all the guys within earshot): "Anyone have a suggestion where I can take Daisy this weekend? I think she is starting to think I'm a complete bore.”

Charles: "How about the Taste of London down at the docks. I brought Katharina last year and she loved it. Cold though, man. A good excuse to keep close and, of course, drink!"

Miles: "Hmmm, she is quite the foodie...that would be perfect. What's it called..(he speaks it out as he types it into a google search)... taste of london...yeah man, looks fun. Thanks. Excellent suggestion! Should score me some brownie points...and then some..."

(Miles turning his swivel chair around to Scott)

Miles: "How 'bout you tiger...wanna come and bring that Tinder hottie along — it could be a double date..."

Scott: "I'll think about it but I'm dealing with landlord shite right now. My housemates are freaking out. I don’t know why the landlord always picks Thursdays. We all have classes all day every Thursday. Today she just calls us up and asks if someone will be there to let the heating tech in. I think maybe she remembers Thursday but forgets what it is about Thursday she’s supposed to remember. I mean how hard is it - Thursday are off limits...no access...capiche? She is another mystery woman in my life... she always smells heavy of garlic and she’s so frail I wonder if she's on some 'garlic only' diet."

Miles: "Man you are just the weirdest human alive! You should write spy novels or somethin.’ You’re suspicious of everyone. I wonder what you think I'm up to...maybe I'm moonlighting as a stripper at night…"

Scott "Naw man, no way, they only hire hot, hung dudes for those jobs!"

(Miles chucks a tension-relief ball at Scott's head but he ducks and it misses him. They all get back to work. Later in the afternoon Miles check the time...)

Miles: "Well boys, five minutes to the Madame show..."

(Miles stands up to open the window. They are anticipating the arrival of Marnie and they know the sound of her G-wagon as it pulls around to the rear of the office building. Two minutes later the hydro purr of the Mercedes engine rounds the corner and they all nod knowingly.)

(Moments later, there is loud talking in the alley between the building...they can't see who is talking but it is definitely two women.)

Women in Alley: "You’re a cow. You’re a FUCKING COW! YOU STOLE MY FUCKING MONEY! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE YOU DISGUSTING WHORE. YOU STOLE MY MONEY AND MY MAN!"

(Miles and Scott stick their heads out the window and they see Marnie stumble from the alley adjusting her scarf. She looks like she's injured on her arm or her leg ...or both...)

Miles: "Shit man - that's Marnie and she looks hurt. We need to go down there right now..."

(Turning from the window in a panic...)

Scott: "No, you guys wait here. I’ll go alone; it’ll be a lot faster this way."

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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years

Text

your kind of heaven's (been to hell and back)

my very last fill for @stb-bingo for my square: g4 - fisting, which is much more innocent than it sounds, I swear

“So, uh,” Tony starts, sitting on the couch next to the other guy. He forgot his name right after hearing it from Rhodey, whose idea this whole thing was. A low stakes way of getting back out there after everything that happened and getting reacquainted with being touched. “How does this normally go?”

The other guy raises an eyebrow, lip twitching with an almost smile. “Are you really telling me that you don’t know?”

Tony knew it was coming, but it still stings a little. Contrary to popular belief, Tony hasn’t done this before. He knows his own reputation, has enough self-awareness to recognize that not one single person would be surprised to find out he was doing this tonight, but all of them would be surprised to hear it was the first time. When you build a persona around being the charming playboy, paying for sex doesn’t seem too far off.

It’s definitely not the other guy’s first time being paid for it, though. There’s an easy energy about him as he casually looks around the penthouse between sips of the scotch in his hand. Tony wonders if he’s even drinking it at all, though, because the line of liquid never seems to go down no matter how many times he brings the glass to his lips. Either way he’s good at faking the nonchalance.

Tony is trying not to make it as awkward as he feels, but he doesn’t quite know what to do. The drink was the first step. It felt like the natural thing to do when someone walks into your place for the purpose of sex. Offer them a drink, make small talk with thinly veiled flirtation, progress to the bedroom. Except nothing about this is natural.

“I can honestly tell you that I have never paid another person for sex before,” Tony says. “Although I have had a few one night stands steal from my wallet. Does that count?”

The smile actually does form this time. “Probably not.”

“Right, so,” Tony breathes out, rubbing his sweaty palms down his thighs. He’s never felt less sexually appealing in his life, which is a real shame, because the other guy has a lot going for him. He’s a few inches taller than Tony is, with bright ocean blue eyes and golden hair. His white t-shirt is pulled tight over broad, muscular shoulders, and at any other time in Tony’s life he would have been all over him. He would have gotten him back to his place on his own charm and suave, rather than the promise of the stack of bills sitting on the bedside table right now. “Where do we start?”

continue on ao3

#stevetony #stb bingo #my writing #my fic

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