#only one of these is fake btw

[limbobilbo]

For people who do not know a lot about jojo’s bizarre adventure please select which of the following is not an actual event which occurs in the series.

REMINDER TO PLEASE REBLOG FOR A HIGHER SAMPLE SIZE

#196 #196 campfire #shitposting #dumb polls #fandom poll #only one of these is fake btw

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Overindulgent father Astarion who tells his children they’re allergic to any kind of jewellery that isn’t made of the highest grade Dwarven crafted gold. 

It’s not even because Astarion might have a certain aversion to silver, no, he just raises his children to have standards, thank you very much. 

And it doesn’t end with shiny things, oh no… 

The Ancunín brood is known to be dressed in perfectly woven cotton, silk and soft leather clothes, no matter the occasion.

They’re seen playing with expensive toys, reading artfully illustrated books that certainly belong behind thick glass, not in children’s sticky hands. 

There’s even talk that one of the children is not as naturally inclined to music as his parents claim him to be, surely his lyre must be enchanted—the instrument certainly looks extravagant enough! 

And then there’s always this air of effortless haughtiness surrounding the Ancunín children whenever their nannies and servants are parading them through town as if they were perfect little dolls; objects to show off the wealth their parents acquired in quite the mysterious ways. 

So, it’s no secret that Astarion and Tav are pampering their children—some might say they’re even spoiling them rotten. 

And maybe they are, especially Astarion.

But he doesn’t see why he should raise them any other way, nor does he want to.  

When it comes to his children, Astarion has his own standards, and as long as Tav agrees with him nothing really matters. 

Because, these people, they don’t know anything about the Ancuníns. 

They don’t know that it’s not unusual for Astarion to wash out dirt and mud and strawberry stains from comically small finery, leaving behind only the memories of a day spent playing in the garden, chasing after ducks, picking flowers, lazing in the sun…

That any holes and tears the children’s clothes might suffer are quickly mended, making them look as good as new in no time. 

Nor do they know that Astarion doesn’t mind fashioning a brand new dress to match that of a favourite doll, either. Or to embroider a pretty vest with the likeness of that stray cat the children seem to adore, although their father would rather they don’t touch the mangy animal. 

No, those people know nothing at all...

“Not tired!” Astarion’s youngest cries; the vehement denial of her father’s earlier accusation is cut short by a telltale yawn.

The room still smells of fragrant lavender oil and peaches even when the bath water has already grown tepid, just one or two degrees above what Astarion would consider too cold to be enjoyable. 

Amused, he raises an eyebrow at the protesting toddler before he lifts her out of the copper bathtub with little effort. 

By now, he knows every step of this game.

“Tut-tut, my dear child, what did mama and I say?” Astarion kneels, quickly wrapping a soft towel around the child to keep her warm. “We only tell lies outside of this house.”

Unfazed by her father’s gentle scolding, the girl crosses her arms that haven’t yet lost their puppy fat across her chest, reminding Astarion a little too much of a very displeased Tav. 

Suppressing a sigh, he leans back to consider the pouting child, wondering what could possibly be upsetting her this time—the list is growing longer by the day, after all. 

“What’s the matter, dear?” Astarion asks gently, hoping it’s something easily fixable as it’s growing rather late. 

“Want apple!”

Decades ago, Astarion might’ve rolled his eyes—he knows exactly which stupid apple the child wants, it’s been haunting him all day—but once he started to treat his children’s problems as if they were his own, his life has grown somewhat easier. 

“Why, let’s get an apple on our way to bed, then. Would that be alright, Your Highness?” 

The girl promptly nods her head, allowing Astarion to pat her hair dry before dressing her in a clean night dress. 

She rests her cheek against her father’s shoulder as he carries her first to the kitchen to grab a fragrant apple and a knife, then to her bedroom where they settle on the cosy window seat, just like they do every night.

Soft moonlight is pouring through the windows; the child giggles at the way the knife’s blade is catching the silver light as Astarion peels and cuts the apple into even pieces.

“Here you go,” he finally says, giving the slice of apple one last examining look before surrendering it to the impatient little hands reaching for it. “A sweet treat for my little sweet. Doesn’t it taste so much better when we don’t eat it off the floor, darling?” And when it’s not crawling with ants…

The appeased toddler nibbles at the juicy fruit as Astarion carefully combs through her still-damp curls. 

Her hair’s getting long, he notices, knowing that taking care of it will become more time-consuming each day. 

Once, Astarion would’ve thought this task tedious, brushing out hair that’s not his own, oiling and braiding it for no other reason than knowing his children enjoy him doing it. 

But that’s why he loves doing it in the first place, he supposes.

Astarion can tell by his toddler’s heartbeat that sleep is about to claim her. 

The half-eaten slice of apple is still clutched in her little fist as he cradles the child to his chest, slowly rising from the window seat to put her to bed. 

He’s just about to lay the child down that the fruit drops to the floor, his daughter’s tiny hand clutching at his shirt instead.

“Thank you, papa,” she mumbles, more asleep than awake.

Astarion pauses.

He breathes in the clean, yet unique scent of the little girl that is forever engraved in his brain, the same way he knows under which exact constellation she was born. When she took her first steps, what her first word was. Soon, he will have to memorise her favourite colour, and what she likes to eat when dirty apples won’t be that appealing anymore. 

By now, Astarion knows this game by heart, knows that with every year that passes, he has something new to learn about his children.

And sometimes he wonders what it’s like to grow up with clean bed sheets and full bellies. Sleep filled with naught but warmth and happy memories. Ever open doors and tears that are dried by tender kisses. Living in a house where mistakes and anger are welcomed, safe. 

He wonders what it’s like for his children to know that their father’s love comes without conditions. Not now and not ever. 

Sitting down on the bed, Astarion holds his youngest a little closer to his chest, unwilling to let go of her, yet. 

He’s often accused of spoiling his children when most people can only just grasp the very surface of his love for them, the bare minimum of what he feels for his one and only, precious family. 

These baseless accusations are as unimportant to Astarion as the people voicing them.

He’s raising his children to have standards, wants them to take their father’s love for granted, to accept nothing less but pure devotion.

It’s the only way Astarion knows how to love them, the only way that comes most naturally to him. 

Astarion looks down at his little girl, now fast asleep, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. 

After all these years—all these children—he’s still in awe watching them sleep in his arms as if no harm in the world could ever befall them.

And it won’t—not if Astarion can help it. 

“No, thank you, my heart,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the crown of the toddler’s head. 

When it comes to his children, Astarion holds himself to the highest standard.

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #dadstarion #astarion x tav #astarion headcanons #astarion x f!tav #baldur's gate astarion #astarion ancunin #to the best worst dad #astarion father of the year every year #emicha writes #idk how this turned out this long #I just put my daddy issues to work #I'm thinking about writing more casual one shot length pieces like this more often though #btw anyone else who only got real gold jewellery as a child? #having a grandma who told them fake jewellery isn't good for your skin? #and now that you're an adult you're left with a certain standard for jewellery but no money to actually pay for it? #because that's really funny ha! #I'll sleep better knowing the ancunin brood will just steal their jewellery even when they're not destitute

[beatcroc]

the real joke here is that i'm pretty sure fake pep is like totally average person height, it's just that the rest of this cast are fuckin pipsqueaks

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette]<-u are here [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#regardless of what i said abt the noise these two are DEFINITELY besties #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #noisette #gustavo is 1 foot tall to me. peppino is not more than 4'. they are funny little cartoons and fake pep is just. a guy. #brick is at LEAST six feet tall though idk whats up with him. huge rat #only cute fake peps in this one...u will get The Beast next one though. next one is with peppinooooo... #framing of it is proving to be a bit of a pain though so im prolly gonna do a silly aside thing first #arting #there is not really a joke with the tip jar btw i just needed fp to be....doing something. boring if he just sits there. #Popular post #i dont have anything else to say here except to bitch about how utterly fucked the framing and perspetive of this one is oops #pizzaposting

[oodlesodoodles]

I couldnt finish. Got too sad.

#Disco elysium #So at first i didnt have an idea for an end panel that was kinda cheesey looking and so i was just going to leave it #But then i was like what even is this? Is it a declaration of despair? Is it some kind of masturbation? Is it fake doom tourism? #So i wasnt going to post it. It just felt cruel and inappropriate #But then i was like if even a fictional bombing serves a purpose at all its to radicalize the youth #Thats annette at the end btw. Besides the lorry drivers shes probably the only one not there at the time #Its a declaration of despair btw #Im so sad #Oh fuck i forgot to tag #Hanging #Death #Flashbacks

[topicaltropic]

EPISODE 8 OF THE DUNGEONS AND DADDIES GRAPHIC NOVEL IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER !

READ THE SAMPLE NOW HERE

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #i hope no one saw when i messed up queuing. #anyways um. #yeah #i only did ten pgs cuz i dont know how many ppl will see this so i dont wanna go all out #and shout out to my bestest best friends #JUST FOR REFRENCE THIS IS A JOKE BTW THIS IS MY FIRST TIME MAKING ANYTHING LIKE THIS #A graphic novel is not in fact coming you can not actually pre order. sorry. the joke is that i suddenly pull out issue 8 and your response #would be huh ??? wait wheres the other issues ??? wtd is the pre order link?? oh its fake #although i am not unlinclined to actually do a full episode but then id need to get paid for it for real

[geodenes]

can someone PLEASE be insane with me about them

#mordeson #regular show #benson #benson dunwoody #(ꈍᴗꈍ)♡ #mordecai #regular show fanart #regular show benson #regular show mordecai #mordecai x benson #GUYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCHJ i rlly wish i could talk as in much depth about them as i would like 2 bc i could spend hours!!!! i swear 😪 #i can't believe i only had a single post of them I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAKE FAN IM SO SORRY #btw has anyone thought of a name for this ship besides mordeson? i always wanted 2 make one like those big fandoms do ! it's just so.. cool #i suggest bluegum or videoclip ( videogames + clipboard ) in case there are no options available yet:3 #I HOPE THOSE DON'T SOUND LAME AAAAUGH I REALLY TRIED MY BEST TO THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD BUT MY BRAIN IS USELESS 4 THIS KINDA STUFF #anyway. thank u very much bee for letting me use the idea of the cat beanie hehee<3

[funkily]

IM SORRY FALSE I COULD ONLY DO 12 .. she probably wouldve swept anyways like tbh .

youre legally required to tell me why btw . try and vote before looking at prev tags though so we have your unbiased opinion

#thinking about doing one for s1 but i feel like roseblings would sweep . codfather doesnt count hes not greasy hes slimy #voted shelby . btw . shes busy ok . her appearance is barely held together by elementary illusion magic and a dream #theres an argument for all the girls i think . but gem is partially made of sunlight she doesnt have to deal with all that #and katherine has to take a shower every morningon account of . the sweat and the blood #oli is also up there because the olipeligo doesnt exactly have . plumbing . but he steals gems shampoo and washes in a waterfall or smth #thats actually why he faked his own death he used all gems shampoo after she left and he could only hide it with his hat for so long #empires smp #babbleeng

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[arvoze]

you don;t get to learn about this one either (you will). if i tell you this thing is about death and murder you would have to trust me

#luwel #mike #my art #the only reason i never posted abt this one before is bc theres like. #a lot to work out. #its a murder mystery thing but the murder and mystery literally doesnt matter at all #and they both leave before the case even gets explored :sob: #its literally just abt mikes reaction to being in a dangerous enclosed space with somebody who he #cares very dearly about and doesnt know how to deal with it #bc he's been near death so many times and killed someone himself so he's like. #in an absolute nightmare realm. but he has to just liek . #unfortunately forces himself to put his own worries and stuff to the side #(luwel has not been anywhere as close to actual violence like mike has and detaches himself from reality to the point where he just . #thinks that everything is fake and a play and wants to get involved with solving it bc he wants to believe it's fake #and mike's like hey uh. no. this is real i Cannot let you out of my sight) #the last image is outdated btw its when his outfit was based on primarina instead of flapple #luwels was always based on serperior

[padfootastic]

first he replaced James as the most important person in Sirius's life and now he's taking James whole personality MAKE IT STOPPPPP

quick who’s writing the (body?) horror fic where remus is SO obsessed with sirius, he needs to have him, and knows the one and only obstacle in his life is james potter. so he plots.

he plots, gets into their group, gets close to all of them. but that’s not all. he slowly…very slowly starts replicating all of james’ personality traits, wears them like a winter cloak but all year round. and then, like the slowly boiling a frog situation, he eventually becomes james. the final step: taking over his body. getting rid of the man himself.

until all that’s left is sirius black and james-who-was-once-remus potter. but what’s an identity if u can have the man of ur dreams, the love of ur life?

#james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius lives his entire life with an eerie feeling of something being so very Off #he knows something is wrong but he can’t tell what #he KNOWS this so not his james but the truth is so baffling and far fetched it would never come to mind #remus fakes his own death here btw #so no one suspects him #this would have the vibe of that sort of twilight zone convenience store with only one flashing lightbulb and strobe lights ykwim? #where time is meaningless and remus is appearing in shadows and grinning with cold dead eyes #james is blissfully oblivious #there’s a mounting sense of horror #and unease and suspense #yeah #i hesitate to call it endgame wolfstar when it’s actually prongsfoot #but that’s the real metaphor isn’t it #pen’s notes #pen’s asks

[rotzaprachim]

aaaand the unfolllowing spree continues

#Terrible time to be a leftist Jew btw terrible time #I like. Only want to talk to other Jews rn and I’m trying to register how fucked that is and just a symptom of cyclical systemic violence #The big picture thing is like. Are you saying that rape is a justified liberation tactic if the women are Jewish? #And if the answer is yes or you’ve reblogged someone for whom the answer is yes #Tw rape #Honestly people who left Jews no space to mourn after. The attach regardless of our political feelings and just went yay colonizer deaths #Everyone feeling soemthing right now is a hashtag fake fake anti colonialist #That’s another one. Like now we know and now we know

[sunnfish]

[Image Description: A digital illustration of Tashiro Gonzaburou from Sasaki to Miyano. He is drawn in the outfit from his official 2023 birthday art, consisting of a lightly patterned, black sleeveless hoodie and blue, capri length pants, holding a lime green wind chime that emanates a lime green light. His hair is worn loose and he is barefoot. He is posed sitting with his legs bent towards his chest, his arms outstretched between them, with slight armpit and leg hair visible. He is smiling lightly and looking at the viewer. The color palette consists of lime greens, oranges, reds, and yellows. One version has the text “Tashiro Gonzaburo” “2023 07 08” “Happy Birthday” written across it, while the other is textless. The artist’s username “@sunnfish” is written in the bottom right corner, and the signature “sunnfish 2023” is overlayed under the arm. /End Description]\

HI EVERYBODY despite my busy-ness today i carved time through blood sweat and tears to draw this. Happy birthday king you have every right to look like this

Link to my drawing of his 2022 birthday outfit :)

Also a clean image of the full body under the cut ^_^

[ID: The same as the images above, but showing the full body as opposed to parts of the back and top of the head being slightly cut off. His hoodie slides up a bit to show a bit of his waist. /End ID]

#BTW THATS HOW GONZABUROU IS SPELLED ON THE OFFICIAL ART #im NOT a fake fan. keeping it consistent #anyways #tashiro gonzaburou number one fan #sasaki to miyano #sasaki and miyano #tashiro gonzaburou #also I think I slayed this way harder than I did his 2022 outfit #still good but like. idk can’t describe it. I just think I did this one so good. not to brag #still some wonky things that probably only i as the artist really care about #BUT I LIKE IT ! I LOVE HIM ! I POOR MY HEART AND SOUL INTO EVERY DRAWING OF HIM ! #anyways again #peace and love on planet earth

[risingsunresistance]

i went to a con over the weekend and bought a bunch of stuff from a rock shop. love going to cons in this area bc it's like 25% fandom junk (and i dont rlly watch anime), 50% arts and crafts, and another 25% JUST for funko pops hdhfhd

already showed you Apple :]

also got this lil tree

some mushrooms to go with my bigger mushroom that i got at a different convention from different people jdgfkh

and... ROCK PIG !! he is wonderful and also very heavy

also bag update! got the heart pin at the con, everything else has just been added/moved/etc overtime lol. need to space it out better but im tired of stabbing myself so it's fine for now

also ark got me a beetle :D

#that is all i got at the con btw 😭 #was hoping i'd see some splatoon stuff but this was the smallest con they've had yet #next con should be a bit more interesting #but i greatly enjoyed the rocks #i know ppl are wary of rock decorations like this bc they might be fake but #tbh i just like the way the look so i dont rlly care lmao #if my rock pig is actually made of Unknown Material that's okay 👍 #the heart pin is the only one i didnt pick up at the rock booth #subtlest aro pin ever 👍👍👍 IM SO MAD THEY HAD A REALLY NICE RAINBOW PIN #BUT NO IM 23 AND STILL FORCED TO BE IN A GLASS CLOSET JHDKFJK #mom i know we both know can we just get it over with already 😭 #also got to meet some exiled queer family down there and catch up talking YAYYYY their youngest added us on discord jdhdhk #it was so fucking refreshing. i thought the only other one in my family died... had no idea that was why we didnt talk to them anymore #anyways that's how my life has been sorry for the continued absence tjere's a lot hapwning rn 👍 #and by a lot i mean nothing but i stay exhausted hdhfkj it's just been. [static] ya know #chat

[blee-bleep]

so like i binged-read 55 chapters of vinland saga and

holy shit, i was put off with how incredibly sexist it was, but the story was a little TOO GOOD to be dropped. and i only stopped because my retinas could only take so much.

Askeladd, you dropped this my king 👑

#askeladd thors and ylva are the only characters i like #i love it when characters of the past have incredibly modern thoughts. #especially thors #whenever he appears he always does some king shit. like saving the slave and burying him in respect. getting acupuncture to save his home #BEATING THORKELL WITH ONE PUNCH JUST TO ELOPE WITH HELGA?????? he's like 'i dont need this to last longer than it should step back my queen #LOVING HIS FAMILY SO MUCH HE FAKED HIS OWN DEATH TO GET AWAY FROM HIS JOB???????? MY DAD COULD NEVER #and usually i dont understand why some people find incredibly old men hot #but then i discovered askeladd and i get it. I GET IT. #i love it when cold-hearted people's inspiration to fight are the women in their lives. it's cheesy and grating to some but to me?? #it brings tears to my eyes over and over. #thorfinn and canute are good too btw but i dont care for them as much as i cared for askeladd and thors #thorkell is that tito in your party that drinks in midday and karaokes until 2AM #vinland saga #vinland saga manga #now I COULD just watch the anime instead of reading the manga esp since its studio wit and apparently its very faithful to the manga #but alas i dont have much time

[nostalgia-tblr]

Six Seven Sentence Sunday

Doing this in the wild hope that it'll somehow motivate me to actually write some more words instead of just procrastinating all day (again). It's a snippet from the selfcest threesome fic (because obviously what the selfcest pairing needs is MORE selfcest!), but not a porny bit because I've not actually written any of the porn yet. Let me know what you think of my GENIUS solution to the obvious names/pronouns issue, which is to just refer to the other Loki as "the other Loki" throughout.

With a grin and a wave of his hand the other Loki produces one of those tiny paper umbrellas that people like to decorate their drinks with. This one is a metallic green and he leans over the table to stab the pointed stick into the lemon slice in Sylvie’s glass, a quite pathetic attempt to impress that in defiance of sense and fairness actually works, and she smiles her approval and giggles. Sylvie is not the giggling type, usually. Loki doesn’t say a word but his scowl speaks for him, eloquently enough that when the other Loki notices it he tuts and says, “Envy’s our worst habit, you know. Though it’s probably less destructive to covet a tiny umbrella than the throne of Asgard.” Which makes Sylvie laugh, and when Loki’s frown deepens she says, “Oh, come on, you can’t seriously be jealous of yourself. It’s not like he’s prettier than you.”

#fic snippets #six sentence sunday #sylki but with some extra sylki added to the usual amount of sylki #maybe this happened because i wrote SEVERAL fics in a row where loki didn't fuck himself and i needed to compensate? #lokicest #(i feel the need btw to note that the ao3 lokicest tag is about a decade old so don't tell me nobody ever thought of it before the series) #fic related #anyway next i need to finish either this or the 'fake drunk' one because s2 starts soon and i don't want to have to abandon them :( #and i assume about a month from now folk will only want to read about them banging in a mcdonalds (valid obvs but not what i have here)

[oh-meow-swirls]

more fake tweets that i think should be separate from the original post cuz they're funny to me.

#puppy rambles #yo-kai watch #yokai watch #youkai watch #ykw #yw #hailey anne thomas #usapyon #steve jaws #(kind of???) #(hate that pun btw /hj) #komasan #komasan probably has a high twitter following because he has no idea how to internet so 90% of his tweets are just fucking nonsense #hailey would totally make joe mama jokes i'm sorry #she's a force to be reckoned with n should not be allowed on twitter or any other social media. i love her #also the only good hailey n usapyon pictures from the anime i could find were both from one of the japanese outros so #incidental matching icons for them sdlfjskljfsd- #this is hilarious to me #love how hailey has a canon @ for twitter n stuff #anyways i'm rambling #fake tweets