#or like tessa dies at the same time as jem

[amchara]

Chain of Thorns - First Impressions

I finished the book a couple hours ago and needed to take a bit of time to formulate my thoughts. I’m a fast reader and admittedly, this can mean I skim in some places / go over some details so doubtless I’ll pick up on more when I do my reread. 

They got long so underneath the cut… but here are my first impressions of Chain of Thorns: 

I liked it a lot. I didn’t love it. It suffered from many of the same issues that plagued Queen of Air and Darkness and maybe even a bit more in this book. Namely, too big of a cast, too much plot to explore decently but more importantly -  lack of follow-through/consequences for characters’ actions or events in the book. 

Some initial points: 

SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD’VE DIED/BEEN EXILED/BEEN LOST IN ANOTHER REALM. I like the happy endings they got (I have much love for these characters). But it didn’t feel earned. :/ 

Also the pacing throughout much of the book was breakneck, bar a few quiet interludes. Some storylines - Lucie, Jesse and Malcolm’s visit to Cornwall and Matthew and Cordelia’s Paris interlude could’ve used a few more pages to really allow the characters to develop/explore why they were really there before pulling them back in service of the main plot. 

Let’s start off with what I did love: 

My love for Matthew, Cordelia and James’ characters was maintained and possibly even grew during this final book. I just - *BITES FIST* Honestly, I’m pretty damn happy where things ended up when it comes to the interpersonal relationships and dynamics between the three of them.  

I loved that we got Fairstairs in Paris, though I will pout (and almost certainly finish that one fanfic for…) it was so little. Just- James could’ve arrived later on? Not been waiting in their room? *forever mourns the lost opportunity* 

I especially appreciated the brokenness of the three of them as they returned to London. The time it took them to muddle through, process and re-discover their true feelings post-Gracelet revelation and how it shaped the course. But how they all still desperately cared about one another and it never wavered even when they were furious with each other. 

Controversial opinion - though I know Bry will back me up on this - but James and Matthew’s parabatai relationship is the best one out of all the TSC parabatai - yes, even Will and Jem, who were idealised. Matthew and James’ relationship is that perfect mix of love, frustration, co-dependency that you need for a parabatai relationship.  

It rose to new heights in Chain of Thorns, as James was finally able to break down Matthew’s walls and help him begin to heal, not only with his drinking but also his self-loathing. And Matthew finally gets his friend back who has been suppressed emotionally for three years (!!!) and you can just feel the intensity and pull of the relationship between the two of them, for good or bad, throughout the book. The scenes in Edom just killed me.

And Cordelia is - maybe not glue but it’s just - something separate but essential between the three of them. The mirror, perhaps? Reflecting their best selves upon her. And Matthew and James’ unconditional love heals the part of her that feels she has to be useful or heroic to be loved

Look romantic or platonic, you cannot convince me otherwise that they weren’t all meant to be together in some fashion, even if it’s not a classic OT3, but maybe more V-triad? <brb just thinking about a heronfairstairs fic set in the 1910s> 

UGH. I AM EMOTIONAL JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.  It’s a messier, truer to life version of the Jem-Tessa-Will situation (especially if Jem hadn’t become a Silent Brother) and you won’t be able to convince me otherwise. 

Cordelia, she broke my heart with Matthew but I accept it. I knew she was going to end up with James. But I do think- much like Tessa was with Jem, Matthew and Cordelia’s love for each other is a quieter flame than the ones they have for their respective Herondales, and it’s a shame it wasn’t explored more.  

I think the one sticking point for Cordelia and Matthew in terms of romance is Matthew’s drinking. Cordelia has trauma around her father’s drinking and to see it reflected in Matthew (even if he is successful in his sobriety) means there’s that extra hurdle if they were to enter a romantic relationship. Cordelia is pragmatic enough that she knows she does not want the same type of relationship her mother and father had.

James and Cordelia- I did enjoy their ups and downs. I do enjoy them together. I think I am always going to be slightly put out that it didn’t end more tragically. Herondales always win in love- and the way that James’ story and history has been framed and referenced in SO MANY OTHER Shadowhunter books made me think possibly there would be something different this time- that he’d lose one of his loves, either Cordelia or Matthew.

Quick points individually: 

Cordelia - My girl remains the best- she is the best combo of heroine - kind but proud, reckless but also caring and straightforward in her dealings. She can’t abide to be cruel but she can be ruthless (her cutting Tatiana’s throat- dammmmmnnnnn) 

James - *checks* Not feral enough, lol. Yes, we did get many moments… especially post-Paris and ummm, that scene where he and Cordelia consummated their marriage but could’ve used more. Will come back with more coherent thoughts later. 

Matthew… oh my darling Matthew. I’m going to have to come back to him in a separate post, I think. Having just read his arc in this book- I get why Cassie didn’t kill him off or separate him from his friends. There was already so much hopelessness woven into his storyline and a lot of uncertainty if he’s even going to succeed in remaining sober, any tragic ending would’ve felt pointlessly cruel, I think. 

Ultimately, his journey isn’t over but I appreciate the steps he took during this book. At the same time, it feels so strange we ended the book with Matthew’s future still a large question mark. Still time for him to get lost in Faerie!! I ultimately believe he has a promising yet tragic life to lead, and I want to know what it is…

Other things I loved:

The Merry Thieves relationship in Chain of Thorns >>>>>> 

Especially the scenes where they all go to help Matthew get through his first couple days of non-drinking. And of Thomas and Christopher each going to respectively check on James and Matthew. I loved their dynamic during this book, which I think we saw in Chain of Gold but less so in CHain of Iron so was happy to see its return. 

Thomas and Alastair - were perfection. No notes. 

I have to admit I might’ve skimmed over a few of their scenes that were cute but were interludes during other tense moments, when I was dying to know what happened to other characters we had just cut away from… but I am going to savour their interactions on my reread.

Alastair and Cordelia’s sibling relationship also remains amazing. As admitted before, I am a Carstairs family fan and this book definitely helped cement that.

After a few Christopher POVs, I definitely got the sinking feeling he was a goner. And yep- I was correct- as were quite a few others in fandom. He wasn’t one of my favourites but his development in the first half of Chain of Thorns before his death- his expanded interactions with the other Merry Thieves and his growing relationship with Grace were a delight to read and I am sad he didn’t make it. Also, I am such a sucker for an Orpheus and Eurydice callback so I absolutely adored the moment in the laboratory. 

I think I’ll need to reread before I can fully opine on Grace’s arc in Chain of Thorns but my first impressions were favourable. I like that she didn’t get the full redemption arc right away. I appreciated she told Cordelia what had happened with her and James but it was strange we didn’t get that scene but were told it? Hmm, this was something that bothered me a few times- there were some important conversations between characters which should’ve happened ‘on page’ but didn’t. 

Things I was relatively meh about: 

Anna and Ariadne - they were… fine? I absolutely get they are some people’s fav characters but I think out of all of the characters, many of their scenes would’ve been the easiest to cut, and it might’ve made a more cohesive, tightly-plotted story. 

Jesse and Lucie - honestly, I think the plot with Belial overshadowed the consequences of Lucie bringing Jesse back to life. No, he wasn’t just half alive, he WAS DEAD. You did necromancy, Lucie- accept it! I hate that it all seemingly was swept under the rug. :/

And sadly, Jesse as a character in Chain of Thorns was… boring. I’m sad to say it but it’s true! I appreciated him so much more as a sarky ghost.

Lucie’s plotlines… I need to reread but I think it’s a combo of Lucie’s storylines not getting a proper chance to breathe, like- what she and Malcolm were going to do to raise Annabel in Cornwall, or being too tied to what she can do with her ghost powers to help against Belial. She felt more like a plot device in this book than the others, and I disliked that for her. Maybe that will change upon reread but ehh. Wasted potential overall on both Jesse and Lucie. 

Overall plotline with Belial - less interesting this time around? Hmm. Need to pay more attention to it on reread but first views were less than favourable. That being said, I guess he and Tatiana were quite clever with the Watchers and the plotline with the Cornwall Institute.

I enjoyed all of the Lilith-Cordelia interactions though - super fun to watch them spar verbally, and loved that Lilith kept implying that if Cordelia fullfilled her oath as paladin, she could have BOTH Matthew and James. Lilith isn’t shocked by that sorta thing, lol. 

Lastly, the inherent bigotry and cruelty of the Enclave was used more as a plot device to get the adults out of the way for the big showdown and I hated that immensely- especially as all the fuss about Tessa and Lucie and James’ bloodline was again, all resolved by the end of the book. Booo, no lasting consequences. 

This is very long for first impressions but anyway… I’m glad I’ve written it all down. Happy to engage in comments/reblogs but let’s discuss civilly, and of course - tag all your spoilers!    

#chain of thorns #chain of thorns spoilers #chot spoilers #chain of thorns spoiler #chot spoiler #reader of books #cot spoilers #cot spoiler #the last hours #matthew fairchild #james herondale #cordelia carstairs

[imabitchforjemcarstairs]

i love both Wessa and Jessa and i just wanted to know where you stand on the two dynamics. I love Will and i love Jem for different reasons. Jem for me represents this feather light airy love that shines while Will represents that really deep cacophony of love that is deeper then any witching well.

If i were to describe the two different dynamics via swiftie songs it would be-

Jessa: invisible string, wildest dreams, clean, timeless, snow on the beach, my tears ricochet, the lakes

Wessa: red, maroon, midnight rain, dress, i see you, false god, cruel summer

Where do you stand in all of it? Do you feel like there should be one finite endgame for Tessa? Or do you think its balanced and both should end up with Tessa at certain points? Do you like Jessa post-TID?

I'd just love to know your stance on it all :D xxx

I LOVE ANY VARIATION OF HERONGRAYSTAIRS, LITERALLY.

Wessa 10/10, Jessa 10/10, Heronstairs 10/10, HERONGRAYSTAIRS ++ 10/10

I remember reading TID for the first time and being as confused as Tessa, and I remember being scared she would choose one, and I would have been pissed for the other. I was like, If she chooses Will, I'm pissed because Jem is the real man in this book, and if she chooses Jem, I'll be pissed too because Will deserves the world. IT WAS A MESS IN MY HEAD, and I am extremely happy CC chose this ending. If Tessa had ended up with one, it would have been like all the other boring love triangles we are used to, and the series would not have been as loved as it is right now.

I love your descriptions of both dynamics. For me, Wessa is bantering, it is crazy adventures (they go on vacation in old gothic castles), it is big gestures of love, the shameless PDA couple, but when they are alone, they are laid back, they read books, and I don't know, they just enjoy the company of each other in front of a fireplace. Will is a very loud person, but only when he's surrounded by people, once he's alone with Tessa, he's pretty chill.

Contrary to the Jessa dynamic, which is very calm, beach vacations and on the quiet side, but once they are alone, it's very passionate (ex: the make-out scene in cp1, after the bridge, the proposal, etc.), that's because Jem is a very intense character, even though we don't get his POV, and he's written to be seen through the eyes of Will and Tessa, (something I'm still pissed about, but that's for another post).

So yeah, I'm a Wessa/Jessa stan. The funny thing is that I follow people who cannot stand Will, who find him the star that outshines everyone, just because CC loves her Herondale boys (which he's not, I actually find him very reserved, he's just loud around his people). And I also follow people ( I highly appreciate) who cannot stand Jem, because for them he's everywhere, (which is also wrong, because let's be honest, GotSM was all about Will, they literally go after Kit, because of Will). Modern Jessa, if they don't mention Will at least one time, they die. Some readers also think that Tessa moved too fast, after the death of Will, and was ready to throw it all for Zach and find this out of character and disrespectful of her life with Will. AND I'M LIKE, GUYS WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME READING OF TESSA, SHE LITERALLY FUCKED WILL AFTER SHE LEARNED THAT HER FIANCÉ/BESTIE OF HER OTHER CRUSH DIED. If there is one thing CC is good at, and did not ruin, is the continuity of these 3 characters through the series.

To each their own, I guess, it's not a dictatorship lol, but it's been more than 10 years, and if readers still don't understand that they are a three-package deal, it's their choice. It's Jem, Will and Tessa, they all love each other waaay too much, but it's them. I would have loved to explore more of Will and Jem when they were kids though, because my babies only had 5 years together. Too bad CC is only writing romance stories in her upcoming 10-story novella. I would have loved to have a story of young Jem and Will.

Anyway, I will finish this really cool question with my two fav quotes about these three characters, who have been in my heart since my teenage years.

"Is what difficult?”

“Sharing your husband’s heart so entirely with someone else,” he said. 

“If it were different, it would not be Will’s heart,” Tessa said. “He knows he shares my heart with Jem as well. I would have it no other way—and he would have it no other way with me."

"I could not have loved Will so much if I had not loved you as well. And I could not love you as I do if I had not loved Will as I did.”

#asks #Anonymous #tsc

[alastairstom]

About your post on how TID/TLH Tessa and modern-day Tessa are different characters. I had to come and give you my two cents, because Tessa is my girl, my favourite FMC in TSC, and I love her, and if I have the opportunity to talk about her, I do it. I hope you don't mind me rambling about my favourite FMC of all time. Tessa has a special place in my heart.

From my reading and rereading of the series, and short stories, I don’t see a lot of change in her character, and I read her character development as a natural continuation. For me 2015 Tessa is the same as 1903 Tessa, BUT with more confidence and maturity.

We start with TID Tessa. She’s 16, a baby, orphaned, and has no family except her ass of a brother/cousin/whatever Nate was. We see a girl who is a product of her time (weirded by Charlotte fighting), but also, someone ready and willing to learn more/adapt. I mean, two chapters in, and she’s ready to go on a mission with Magnus and Will. Throughout the series, we see that she is very smart and willing to help, but what differentiates her from 2010 YA FMC is that he does not reject what is traditionally seen as feminine. Tessa likes clothes and pretty dresses (that scene in CA when she doesn’t want to dirty her dress), she buys pretty hats that match her dresses, etc. She is a very curious girl, who likes to know everything, likes to gossip (her chitchats with Sophie), and likes match-making people (her trying to match Sophie with different men).

She is very courageous, but also very protective of the people she loves. We see that with Nate when he arrives at the institute, and he is giving texte books ass whole, and two thousand red flags. She does that because he is her brother and because she is a product of her time, always giving chances to men, and she'll do anything to make him safe. However, she also does it to Will, even though she does not know him well in the beginning, and he already annoyed her at least 5 times since she arrived. Ex: when they meet Gabriel for the 1st time, and he insults Jem, and Will starts fighting with him):

“ You heard me. Telling someone you wouldn’t be sorry if they died! It’s inexcusable!” She took hold of Will by the sleeve. “Come along, Will. This—this person—obviously isn’t worth wasting your time on.”

Will looked hugely entertained. “So true.”

“You—you—” Gabriel, stammering slightly, looked at Tessa in an alarmed sort of way. “You haven’t the slightest idea of the things he’s done—”

“And I don’t care, either. You’re all Nephilim, aren’t you? Well, aren’t you? You’re supposed to be on the same side.” Tessa frowned at Gabriel. “I think you owe Will an apology.”

Now, she does not know Will well, yet she takes his defence because she has been living with them. He is the one who got her out of prison and saved her etc. I always thought Tessa was a good character reader, and once she gives her trust, she becomes protective of them. She is literally telling Gabriel, that Will is her people, and nobody touches her people. We see this side of her, the protective side show up throughout the series, with Will, Jem, and when Sophie starts going out with Gideon. When she tells her to be careful, because she attended the Lightwood ball, and it was a mess, and she does not want her friend to be hurt again.

Now, going on to TLH. She is still the same protective woman and becomes maternal too. Tessa likes to fight and go on missions, but I feel like she only does them when she is asked to. Contrary to the other FMC in TSC, like Isabelle, Clary and Emma who literally want to be a great warrior and become the next Jace. I feel like, Tessa does it because it’s her duty, but only when she has to.

We also discover that she likes to help run the institute with her husband, and goes on missions with him when needed, but she's definitely not the head. That is Will. We don't see her arguing or taking Clave decisions during those meetings. It's always Will. I know this is because the Clave doesn't accept her and doesn't want to give her a chance, but at the same time, I don't read her as someone who wants to do bureaucratic stuff either. On the other hand, we see her doing a lot of domestic things, like throwing balls and parties and decorating the institute. She is someone who likes to be in a cosy room, reading books, talking about them with her husband, and children, travelling, having some adventures, and gossiping with her friends. When she gives advice, it is always a wise one, but it also comes from her protective, and maternal side. Even though she matures in TLH, by becoming a mother, and taking responsibilities as an adult, she is still very sheltered. We know the Herondales keep to themselves because the Clave sucks, and have prejudices against her and her children. She is still very protected and still has her community. Nobody will do anything to her, because Charlotte, Will and all her friends will protect her, and they are enough for her. She has a husband, kids, and eventually grandkids, her friends and their children, she has a community to count on.

Now, after Will’s death, and all her friends are dying one after another, and later her children, she is confronted with what it means to be immortal, and not having her usual support and community. She goes to live with Magnus, and he introduces her to all his Downworlder friends. She becomes friend with Catarina, Malcolm and Ragnor, and start to learn how to be a warlock. And later starts befriending Raphael and so on. This era in her life, where the only person she knows from her old life is Magnus (I don’t count Zachariah, he can’t do much), is the era where she learns and discovers to be herself. She learns how to be a warlock, goes on adventures by herself, or with friends, and learns how to assert herself, but at the same time still keeps her protective/maternal side. We see that in The Last Stand of the New York Institute. Her speech to Jocelyn is very harsh, but she is still willing to help her and goes all the way to do that in secret.

However, we know that Warlocks are not really into staying together. Magnus says it himself. Warlocks can go for decades before contacting each other. And I think this is something that affects her a lot, and why she stays for a long time in the Spiral Labyrinth, and only comes back at the end of CoHF, once Jem is back. 

 In the epilogue, she is dreading Jem telling her he is going back to an institute: 

“But—after today? Where will you go? To Idris?”

He looked, for a moment, honestly bewildered—and despite how old she knew him to be, so young. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never had a lifetime to plan for before.”

“Then … to another Institute?” Don’t go, Tessa wanted to say. Stay. Please.”

And she is happy when he tells her he can’t go back because he doesn’t know how to be a shadowhunter without a parabatai. And what does Tessa do, she starts living with Jem, and she goes on adventures, and missions with him (saving Kit, and helping Alec and Rafael), and eventually goes back to her ideal life. Having a house, a husband, being a mother, reading books, protecting her kids, having dinners with her friends and their kids (Well mostly Magnus and Alec), learning about her magic, and sometimes going on missions when needed.

I always read Tessa as a domestic FMC, and I love her for that. She is incredibly strong and becomes wise with time and life experiences, but at the same time, always true to herself. A woman who loves fashion, books and gossiping. And that’s why for me, her character is still the same, and very continuous. Her character development makes sense to me. She is ready to discover new horizons, but always coming back to a tranquil life.

Sorry, this is very long, but I just love her.

I don't really have anything to add to this, but this is generally 100% correct and I adore it. Tessa is one of my all-time favourite characters too, particularly TID/TLH Tessa - the only characters ever I prefer are Matthew and Alastair and maybe Thomas. Definitely my favourite girl/FMC.

I think that a lot of her traits do feel cohesive and carry on from series to series, but I think that a lot of her fire and spirit are gone in the modern content, if that makes sense. There are probably a lot of reasons for this - Will brought those things out in her and he's dead, and also just the cycles of trauma and grief that she's been through have changed her a lot.

But for me, that sarcasm and that sass and that brightly-burning essence and that love for life and rashness and impulsiveness are traits that I loved in Tessa. They're traits that made her interesting and relatable and even flawed when they went too far. And also her independence. I feel like she's lost a lot of that "she was too much herself to belong to anyone else" after, honestly, getting back together with Jem (I'm sorry, I'm trying to keep this minimal on Jessa criticism, but her relationship with Jem/the way that it's written is so tied to the Changes in Tessa I Don't Like.)

I really wish we could see the Tessa/Ragnor/Raphael gossip circle, lol. I do feel like I see a bit of the old Tessa when she's with Magnus, who as you acknowledged is the only person who knew her in her former life. We also know that she's still a funny prankster since Ragnor thought that Alec was her in disguise, which I love. The thing is, we see none of that on page. We see her essentially become a boring, muted housewife, and I think this is actually what makes her relationship with Jem and her presence in post-TLH content so hard for me to stomach.

I also read her as domestic - but only to a point. Like, yeah, she loves clothes, but she's also not afraid in TID to ruin a wedding dress in battle. She decorates the Institute in TLH and adds balconies because that's where, pardon my assumptions and my French, she and Will fuck. Shadowhunter coats of arms hang up with weaponry by bookshelves and ballrooms, and I love that for her, but where is that fire and where are those contradictions now?

I'm sorry that these ramblings are out of order, but I really think we need to see more of her between TLH and TMI in order to understand her as cohesive. Like, as you mentioned, her time in the Spiral Labyrinth - what happened there? We only saw the Spiral Labyrinth once in a story about Jem, which obviously makes so much sense because Jem's a character that belongs in the Spiral Labyrinth 🥴 I want to see Tessa there and talking to other warlocks. What was her job there? What did she do? What the hell do warlocks do there, anyway?

I think we can divide Tessa's life into 3 stages: the Will stage as a Shadowhunter, the warlock stage with her friends, and the Jem stage as a housewife. Unfortunately, we see so little of the EXTREMELY COMPELLING second stage that the latter is jarring and a little painful to watch for me.

[thousand-winters]

No, because listen. Kit was used to feeling unsafe already. His father was Johnny fucking Rook, who did end up killed for eveyrthing he did... in front of Kit. Kit got told his mother was tortured and murdered and he would be next. He was brought to stay with people he had been led his whole life to distrust and even when he started liking them, it was the rockiest possible moment he could have been with them. One of the friends he made there died.

When Jem and Tessa took him in, it wasn't only a chance to have a family that took care of him and loved him for the first time on his life. It was a chance to be safe. A warlock with nephilim blood in her veins and the ex-Silent Brother. They were so committed to keeping him safe and let him be happy at the same time.

And still that didn't matter in the end.

Do you realize how awful that must be? Kit could believe for like a year or two that he was finally loved and safe and then... Mina was taken. Because of him. Suddenly it's not only that cycle of feeling unsafe and having to run continuing, but his mere existence putting people he loves at risk.

He's had a sense of safety for SUCH little time and it was ripped away from him so violently. Truly, HONESTLY, how can he ever feel safe again?

#this drives me crazy. chewing on glass #i think this could make a real interesting case for gray morality kit once he manages to figure out his powers #he can't be hurt if he uses them to the max. to keep those he loves and himself safe. the only way is to be the biggest fish in the pond #kit herondale #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc

[achaiapelides]

Kit's Diary

Chapter 3

Dear Ty,

I enrolled in a school today. Tessa and Jem suggested that it would be good for me to get in contact with some mundanes in our area, so I could find some new friends. I actually didn't want to, but they seemed to think that this was a good idea and were so happy, so I didn't want to disappoint them and agreed. It's a pretty big school, because all the kids in the area go there. I had some problems finding all the rooms first, but I guess I'll get a hang of it eventually. I had to elect advanced courses. Tessa told me history is quite interesting, English too. She knows this because she apparently attended the school a few years ago because she got bored, as you do as an immortal warlock.

First I got my timetable and a tour of the school with Tessa and Jem by the secretary, an older, very strict looking lady, but she was actually not that bad. She looked at my hand weirdly though, as if she could see my rune, Tessa assumes she probably is a mundane with sight. Afterwards I had my first class. Obviously maths. Ugh. But the teacher, a young man about 25, is very nice and actually managed to make me understand the stuff he explained. He even uses some new technology called IPad and beamer and made videos for us to watch at home so we can understand the topic better.

Since I know you're interested in that and Livvy is probably too, I'm going to explain it to you now. An IPad is a bit like a computer but you can, like on your smartphone, touch the screen so you don't need a mouse. But it's bigger than a phone, so you can write on it too if you have a pen that is connected to it. I don't quite understand how this works, I'm bad at physics and electronics okay? But I'm sure you can find that out by yourself if you want. A beamer is a device that you can connect to your IPad and project the thing you see on its screen onto a wall with light, like in a cinema.

So maths wasn't actually that bad. The only problem was a girl in my class, I think her name is Leo, who looked at me really weird, but not the same way as the secretary. She probably has the sight too and can see my runes. I fear she might ask me about it, so I guess I have to come up with some story, how I got them. I'm going to ask Jem and Tessa later.

After two hours of math, where I surprisingly did not die of boredom, I had history. They talked about Henry VIII, you know, the English King with the many wives. The teacher, Mrs. Addams is pretty strict, but still quite a good teacher. You have to imagine her a bit like a young Professor McGonagall from Harry Potter. If you don't know Harry Potter, you should read the books immediately, there's pretty good, even though the author is a bitch. But back to history: It was also quite interesting, especially the history of Henry's wives. Especially Anne Boleyn and Catherine Parr are very interesting.

Afterwards we had English with the same teacher. Apparently she kind of connected both subjects because we're reading Shakespeare in English class. She decided that we're going to read different works of him in groups. My group consists mostly of girls, who of course chose "Romeo and Juliet". I'm kind of bummed because Shakespeare has so much more interesting works but, I mean who can blame them, when Leonardo Di Caprio plays Romeo in the movie.

There is another boy in my group, his name is Sam. He has light brown skin, dark brown hair and is definitely straight. Not that he said that, my gaydar is just like "nope, don't even try". He does look a bit like a male Livvy, but more tanned. Quite attractive, but not my type... that's you. (Ok Kit, stop simping about Ty, you were writing about school!) Leo is also in my group. She does look a bit like Hazel, but white, blonde and definitely not a werewolf. But they kind of have the same face. Maybe they're related or something. She was eyeing me the whole time though. But not like a "fuck me"-stare, more like a "you're very different and interesting"-stare. Kind of the way you're looking at animals you find interesting. Okay, she will definitely ask me about the runes sooner or later. I really should come up with a story for that.

After English, my day was over and I walked home. Yes walked. The school is really close to Cirenworth. I told Tessa and Jem about my day and when I mentioned Shakespeare; Tessa jumped up and ran up the stairs, only to come back a few minutes with really old editions of his books. She told me, that Will, her late husband from the 19th century, bought them for her on her 21st birthday. Both she and Will and their children read them, maybe their daughter and son in law, too. Afterwards they stayed in Cirenworth, which was her daughter-in-law’s home, until today. There are even notes from all the people who read them in there. Tessa even allowed me to bring them to school for our next English class. Also they wanted me to invite Sam and Leo over because "you need some friends". I promised I would ask them. Mina was also very interested in the old books, and even though she can't read, she flipped through the pages very carefully and looked quite pleased. It was sooo cute.

I wish you could meet Mina. I just know you would love her. She's so interested in the little things that easily get overlooked, just like you. Speaking of you, I wasn't as sad about us today. In fact I was the happiest I've been in a long time. I still think about you almost every time something happened, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. Maybe I'm starting to heal. Maybe one day I can meet you again without breaking into pieces. (Did you understand that expression? It's what it feels like when you see something that triggers your sadness and it gets so overwhelming that you literally feel the same pain as if you were breaking into pieces.) And look at that. I just noticed it but I even write as if you'd actually read those diary entries. But you won't. At least not now. But I always hope that someday we will see each other again. And that we maybe can understand why we did the stuff we did and forgive each other. Even if it will take a long time, today was the first time I actually believed in it. That maybe, just maybe, you completely misunderstood me and actually love me as much as I love you. (Okay. Stop it Kit! You're simping again... you gotta let a man dream though.)

For real though, I love you still, and I always will

Always yours,

Kit

Happy December 12th, everyone!

#shadowhunters #cassandra clare #the dark artifices #the shadowhunter chronicles #the wicked powers #christopher herondale #christopher jonathan herondale #tsc #kit herondale #kit x ty #kit's diary #ty x kit #tiberius blackthorn #ty blackthorn #ty herondale #tiberius nero blackthorn #kitty advent calendar #advent calendar

[phantomblackthorn]

My issues with chain of thorns:

My least favourite tropes & plot devices being used to drive half the story

Miscommunication and love triangles are my least favourite plot devices. Miscommunication was the main obstacle for the first 400-500(?) pages and it felt so lazy. Half the book wouldn’t have happened if the characters sat down and talked for 30 seconds.

As for love triangles, it felt like a step backwards having 2 parabatai / best friends both in love with the same girl again. imo TID and TDA both did “love triangles” so much better — Tessa/Will/Jem didn’t have a “main” love interest or a “winner” as she loved both of them and ended up with both of them at different times and in TDA Kieran/Christina/Mark ended up being a polyamorous relationship instead.

Characters being sidelined or having boring storylines

- I didn’t care about Anna or Ari’s storyline and their pages felt like filler more often than not.

- Lucie’s power was rarely utilized and Jesse was barely around.

- Why did Charles get blackmailed other than to be outed?

- It was built up that the Herondales being tried for necromancy (Lucie) and being related to Belial was going to be a huge issue with huge consequences and it instead was quietly resolved off page with nothing actually happening.

- Matthew fuelling the miscommunication plot line for 3/4 of the story because it’s better to self loathe and pine for your best friend’s wife than confess to mistakes and heal.

Characters being unlikeable for “plot reasons”

The Cordelia/James/Matthew conflict made all 3 of them so unlikeable and by the end I was actually rooting for none of them to end up together.

- Matthew lied to Cordelia about not drinking (after running off with his parabatai’s said wife if you forgot - I bet you didn’t bc it was the plot for roughly 140 pages).

- James refused to tell Cordelia about the gracelet for like 3/4 of the book because “oh no she’ll pity me”.

Character death not having any real impact

Christopher was done so dirty in this book. He’s killed about halfway through by a knife to the shoulder and then very few characters actually mourn him. Then we’re told that Lucie can’t reach him because he isn’t a ghost, but then he helps Grace later on? So how could she not reach him?

Underwhelming ending

I honestly believe that halfway through the story when Tatianna dies, the watchers attack, Christopher dies, etc. would’ve been a better ending. The ending we actually got had no consequences (of the big group we had in the fight we don’t hear about even one casualty — not even for a background character). And Belial felt like he was overpowered and tricked way too easily. The same can be said for Lilith — Belial is a prince of hell and Lilith is the mother of demons and both were outsmarted by literal teenagers?

Also are we actually accepting that the family tree was an absolute mess because someone mixed up the pages? Not to mention that person was around when Barbara and Christopher both died and yet their death dates are written down as 1917 and 1938? How did they mess up that bad? Christopher is also written down as having married Grace? How?? I think the family tree should’ve been retconned ages ago instead of being used as a lazy tool.

#I honestly did enjoy this book a bit #it was 800 pages #I wouldn’t have finished it if I hated it #chain of thorns

[blackthorngrey]

i’m planning to single-handedly create the morally grey slytherin ty blackthorn and friends universe so i bring you more headcanons!

this time, including ash and jaime.

(see previous ideas here and here)

ty lost his ability to cast a patronus after losing livvy.

his siblings had taught them both how to cast them before they would have learnt in school, and they had matching patronus’- two mischievous little foxes.

ty tried to cast a patronus at livvy’s funeral along with the rest of his family, a final send off as they burnt her body.

but he couldn’t manage anything more than a few wisps of silvery smoke.

everyone thought it was his grief preventing him from thinking of a happy enough memory, but as the weeks went on ty knew this wasn’t the case. after all, kit could cast one!

the patronus was an incredibly light form of magic.

and ty turned his back on the light the moment he saw that flash of green light and heard livvy’s teasing comment die on her lips.

ash and kit are cousins in this universe.

direct cousins.

both descended from the lineages of salazar slytherin and rowena ravenclaw, which crossed at some point.

kit and ash’s mothers were sisters.

kit’s mother died when he was very young, and ash’s mother died during the second wizarding war- killed by aurors who assumed she was a loyal death eater (she wasn’t- merely sympathetic as a result of her husband)

ash’s father was killed in the battle of hogwarts, and kit’s father was given the dementor’s kiss in azkaban a month later.

kit was adopted by friends of his late mother- jem carstairs and tessa grey.

tessa is a halfblood, which naturally was incredibly fun as they tried to teach ten year old kit that the values his death eater father instilled in him were not necessarily correct.

ash was taken in by jocelyn fairchild and her daughter clary- his paternal grandmother and aunt.

that family was a messy one- with clary and her mother renouncing the morgenstern name and family completely until they took ash in.

clary saw so much of her brother in him, but the good parts. from before he became a batshit insane, murdering, blood purist.

ash loved them, of course he did.

but he couldn’t help himself from feeling like a total outcast.

he knew he was a stark reminder to his family of what his father had done. and he knew that sometimes is hurt his grandmother to look at him.

naturally, he expressed this to kit. who told his adoptive parents. who offered to take ash in, even only temporarily.

the rosales family were right up there with the weasleys in terms with being called ‘blood traitors’ by other pureblood families.

they sided with the light in the war, being close with many order of the phoenix members and fighting against voldemort.

naturally, jaime was the outsider of his family.

a ravenclaw mother, and a gryffindor father and brother. jaime knew what was expected from him.

but the moment he was old enough to form his own personality, it was clear jaime was not going to live up to expectations.

he was a slytherin through and through. it was guaranteed well before jaime was hogwarts age.

he was beyond smart enough to be a ravenclaw, but he was dangerously cunning.

his parents panicked. it was the middle of war when jamie was young after all.

they hid him from other children, saying he was sickly. when really they were just scared of having a child that didn’t fit their mould.

jaime still held a bit of a grudge, even at age fifteen. he supposed he got where they were coming from, but still.

being sorted into slytherin in a family like his, in the first year to begin hogwarts since the battle mere months previously, was awful.

there were so many eyes on him.

it was a complete blessing to have kit and ty with him.

ty- the shy, quiet blackthorn boy who always had his head in a book, even now. he was in the same situation as jaime- light families who fought against voldemort. they had been kept apart in childhood due to the rosales’ fear of jaime’s differences. but not anymore.

then there was kit. completely different to any person jaime had ever met before. kit was the first person that jaime ever heard call you-know-who ‘the dark lord’ with a tone of fear, even if he was dead and gone.

the three boys held the top spaces in their year group for grades, almost effortlessly. with kit teaching jaime and ty mild dark arts outside of the curriculum.

it was even better when ash joined them, a year after they started hogwarts.

ash was the final piece of the puzzle.

jaime had never felt like he belonged anywhere until he started hogwarts. his family manor was a house, not a home. jaime wasn’t comfortable there.

but now, jaime knows that home isn’t always a physical place. home can be the company you keep.

and his friends? they were home to jaime.

whether it be a winter night huddled around the fireplace in their dorm, with ash sleeping in a heap of blankets on the floor as kit charmed his hair different colours.

or a summer game of quidditch at kit’s house, as tessa made them all fresh lemonade, and jaime and ty got their asses handed to them by ash and kit.

even the days the four boys spent in diagon alley towards the end of summer- getting their supplies for the incoming school year and having lunch at the leaky cauldron.

jaime couldn’t be happier to find his home in his friends.

life was rather difficult for kit and ash outside of the slytherin dorms.

five years after the war, prejudices against slytherin were even worse than before the war.

everyone knew the sins of the fathers, they had all read the reports in the daily prophet about the trials.

people jeered at kit about his father, shoving the photos of his father’s death in azkaban under his nose.

ash didn’t escape such teasing, either. people showed him photos of his father’s lifeless body lying in the hogwarts great hall, as bodies were gathered from the wreckage.

for the light side being the good side, they sure didn’t show it.

was it any wonder why so many slytherins turned to the dark? it was the side that welcomed them. the other side couldn’t even give them the benefit of the doubt.

kit and ash made a blood pledge to each other, aged fourteen and thirteen.

no matter what, they were together in this. what side one chose, the other would pledge loyalty to as well.

they just hoped this wouldn’t go badly in the future.

all four boys were mildly disappointed that they didn’t have dreams in common for their futures- having to forge their paths alone.

kit wanted to be a curse-breaker. he knew that the ministry hadn’t even considered entering the estates of death eater families who had been eradicated in the war, and he knew that he would never be out of work. who were they to know if some artefacts were kept for himself, hmm?

ty had his heart set on being a potioneer- he was top of their year for potions, and he was obsessed with brewing his own potions for fun. he knew he was well suited to the job, and he knew that the potions store in knockturn would take him without hesitation.

ash was a bit of a psychopath, they all thought. he was a year younger than everyone else, so he hadn’t needed to think about what he wanted to do in life yet. but when asked, he said an executioner or a hit wizard. they weren’t sure if he was joking about the former.

jaime had so many ideas on what he wanted to do, but he had recently settled on the idea of becoming an unspeakable. he had found that enjoyed research more than most, and very much liked the idea of not having to answer to the DMLE or the minister for magic.

#kit herondale #ty blackthorn #jaime rosales #ash morgenstern #hogwarts au #harry potter au #the dark artifices #the wicked powers #secrets of blackthorn hall #the shadowhunter chronicles #slytherin kit herondale #slytherin ty blackthorn

[ofmoonsandlight]

As All Things Do

Summary: Just a short fic from Tessa's pov, set sometime after Mina's birth. Mainly about Will. (sorry i'm bad at descriptions)

They were strange, the times when grief struck you.

At first, Tessa remembered, it had been a constant presence, haunting her footsteps and tinting her thoughts, like an unwanted visitor. It had faded, though, as all things did—as her memories of Will had, until she no longer remembered the blue of his eyes or the depth of his laugh.

While she had worked as a nurse during the second world war, it had almost disappeared, assuaged by the long hours and constant distraction that it had provided. (She had felt guilty, so guilty, for that—that she had been—not glad, but—relieved for the distraction while the world suffered and millions died.)

And then, after the war ended and her work at the hospital was no longer important, she had retreated into the Spiral Labyrinth, buried herself in words and phrases and research for comfort, for distraction, as she always had.

The grief had lessened, until it was no longer a massive, Will-shaped hole at her side, and instead, merely a gap in her heart that would remain forever unfilled.

And then Jem had been healed by heavenly fire, and she had found her other great love, that other half of her heart that she had never expected to find again. And then there had been the search for Kit, and then Kit himself, who had become another son to her. Then after that, Mina, her daughter. Tessa barely noticed the grief most days, happy in her new life with Jem, Kit, and Mina at Cirenworth. (And if she would look at Kit and Mina and see her James and Lucie, her beautiful children, who she had watched grow to look the same age as her and then older—well, it would pass.)

It would hit at unexpected times, and she would be left reeling with shock and sadness every time.

When she finished a book and opened her mouth to tell Will about it only to realise that he wasn't there, would never be there again. When she wanted help looking after Mina and almost called for Will instead of Jem.

When she saw Jace Herondale, who reminded her so strongly of Will as he had been, burning with all the light of a thousand suns.

Yes, the grief had faded, as all things did. As Will and James and Lucie had. As the men and women that she had grown up with and the children that she had watched grow up, and that had been her family, had. As Jem and Mina and Kit would. As Jace and Clary and Alec and Izzy and all the other young Shadowhunters that Tessa cared for because of themselves as much as because of their ancestors.

As all things would, except for her.

#the infernal devices #wessa #angst #tessa gray

[tetsunabouquet]

Heir To The Lands Chapter 11

Masterpost It's Time

Dru didn't knew how to explain why she wasn't absent, but thankfully Thais seemed geared up with a thousand excuses for her. The two swarmed to their usual table for breakfast, Laura already sitting there. She was looking a bit down, but seeing Dru had already arrived back, all of her moping about Thais seemed forgotten. "What are you doing here? Something went wrong in England?" Before Dru could reply, Thais looked at Laura and lied, "Some of the fixes they made last minute weren't super stable. The sink went wild! They thought it was better for Dru to come when they were actually properly finished with the renovations." Dru nodded eagerly, not wanting to be loose lipped in a cafeteria, "There are things floating in the kitchen," she tried to sound as solemn as possible. Luckily, Laura couldn't continue on asking questions as three figures approached their table. The entire student body almost seemed to freeze and look as the Three Musketeers stood still in front of the three girls. The trio of students were considered quite the oddity. From their refusal to be split up into parabatai to their political views, they were the students who arguably had adapted the best to living in exile. Which was one of the primary reasons why they had something intimidating, in the same way the Cohort and the Circle were; that fiery unity in what they believed and stood for in a world that seemed so less certain then themselves. Tomas smiled dreamily at Thais, "Can we sit with you?" Tavi made a face and gestured with her hands as if she could pinch Tomas' cheeks which made Zeynep giggle. Dru admit, he did look pretty adorable with the way he seemed to melt at the sight of Thais. Thais and Laura exchanged an uncomfortable look, before Thais nodded and gestured at the empty seat beside her. Tomas sat down next to her, and Zeynep decided to sit next to Laura. Tavi, after the tiniest moment of hesitance decided to sit next to Dru as they began chattering about breakfast and their plans for the day. Hopefully this day was more peaceful then the last.

Still recovering from said day, Emma was bedbound and annoyed by Catarina and Tessa's endless fussing. Jules sat next to her, reading one of Tessa's books aloud to keep Emma occupied. Emma couldn't focus on his voice though, no matter how lovely she found it. "Jules?" He stopped in the middle of his sentence to look at her, "yes?" "I can't believe Ty has been keeping Livvy as a secret to himself. After everything with Malcolm, I just don't see how he could have done something like this. Or how he has kept it a secret for so long." "I know, I feel the same way. I'm trying my best not to get angry with him, but it was just so stupid to do." Emma placed her hand on Julian's shoulder. It was with less strength then she liked but Julian smiled at her all the same. "Well, at least now we know why he and Kit had a fall-out." "Yeah, I just hope Ty didn't overreacted too much. Grief makes people go to extreme lengths not to feel it. I hope he didn't hurt Kit's feelings too much." Julian balled his fists, remembering what he had done, how he had spelled his feelings away. It was why it was hard to be mad at Ty, when he had done all of that. Emma understood, and that is why he trusted her with his soul and secrets. "We absolutely made some very stupid decisions ourselves," Emma agreed. "With Kit's secret being out of the bag, do you think it's their time?" "What do you mean with, their time?" "Well, Tessa and Jem had that robot-thing going on right? Tessa's kids had the war against Belial, Clary and Jace went through two wars together at the forefront and it was us last time at the end of the Cold Peace. I just have this feeling, I feel like its theirs now. Kit, Ty, Livvy and Dru." Jules gritted his teeth, but he agreed. As a matter of fact, he had the suspicious feeling Kit, Ty and Livvy were about to plan something he very much wouldn't like. But what choice did anyone have?

#tsc #twp #the shadowhunter chronicles #shadowhunters #the wicked powers #shadowhunter chronicles #dru blackthorn #thais pedroso #jules blackthorn #emma carstairs #laura ke #liqin ke

[luciehercndale]

In the short story were mina is born doesnt the pov character, its been a long time since I read it and I dont have it on hand, notice a presence or something by the crib or tessa and jem and that presence is highly hinted at to be will? Anyway I think through wathever that is they will get a reunion. If it ends up being tessa and jem dying i will hate it so so much i think it will ruin all of twp for me if it happens.

I remember something about this but I'm not sure about it either. It wouldn't be weird at all, since Kit can see ghosts and since Mina is a child, she can surely see them too (only because she is a child, since from what we see in cot, it is unlikely Mina inherited powers from Tessa, and the mediumship is in the Herondale line).

I also hope Will doesn't appear in a situation where Tessa and Jem have also died, and they see him because they are ghosts too. Maybe it could be a situation like Thule? Even though nah, it would be repetitive. I'm thinking that something will happen in TWP that will require the help of the dead characters, and that's why Will, along with some other known faces, will make an appearance as a ghost.

It's the only way I can see him appear, because he died peacefully so unless there is something big happening, I wouldn't see why he would come back. At the same time, I love Will, so I am excited for his appearance 😃 I will cross my fingers it would be for a good reason and not a sad one lol

#posta #tsc

[silkiemae]

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare My rating: 3 of 5 stars So....this was meh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It was cool to see more of the Shadowhunter world, but I was continuously convinced that I would never want to live in this universe. The way the Shadowhunters talk about Downworlders and mundanes is so icky. In the scene where they're fighting de Quincey, Will says, 'One of the Devil’s abominations, aren’t you? You don’t even deserve to live in this world with the rest of us, yet when we let you do so out of pity, you throw our gift back in our faces.’ That encapsulates how the Shadowhunters truly think about anyone who is not like them. They think they're scum beneath them, and the only people worth anything are themselves. Downworlders are good enough to dally with in secret but not good enough to be seen with in public. Why should I like them when this is the way they treat the people they're meant to be protecting? It was very much the same in the first three TMI books. I know this is right after the Accords, so they still have pretty fresh tension, but Will is supposed to be the good guy. And he says some of the most despicable things. I can't root for someone like that. I remember enjoying this one the first time I read it, but now I'm again annoyed by most of the characters and their choices. The storytelling also underwhelms me. In the first chapter, we're just told about Tessa's six weeks with the Dark Sisters, and personally, I would have liked to experience them with her. It could have been an exciting way to get more insight into Tessa as a person. I can instantly glean from her as a character, though, that she is the type of person who reads something in a book and believes it immediately. Will says it's 'hotter than hell', and she instantly corrects him and tells him that hell is cold because she read it in Dante's Inferno. Girl, have you actually been to hell to experience this first-hand? No? Then shut up. We're told three times in one chapter that she hates charity but then lets Jessamine buy her a bunch of expensive dresses. I'm also irritated by how she has to insert herself into everyone's business. And like, some of the things she says are so weird. "I know you don't like giving straightforward answers. I know you're probably about 17..." Okay????? "I know you're probably an orphan." Tessa!!! HAVE SOME TACT. This book is literally TMI but in Victorian times. I'm not even going to bother mentioning the name similarities because I know how it's explained away in later books. I think she just came up with that because people were giving her crap for the name similarities but whatever. Tessa is your average Mary Sue who has never heard of the Shadow world only to get dragged into it by a rude hot guy she likes even though he's a dick. And then she finds out that she's a part of this world and also has a super special power that no one else has and blah blah blah. Oh, also, her brother is evil. Will and Tessa constantly quoting pretentious poetry back and forth gets old really fast. I'm annoyed by the way Magnus was introduced. “His skin was brown, the cast of his features like Jem’s.”So first of all, in TMI, he is described as having white skin and then it's said he's Indonesian in TRSOM, and now here brown skin. Could she not decide what ethnicity she wanted to make him? Also, what a lazy way to say that Magnus is Asian. Also, Chinese and Indonesian people do not have identical features, bro. ‘She wondered if perhaps, like Jem, he was of foreign extraction.’ I’m sorry, Tessa, are you really that stupid? No SHIT, he was ‘of foreign extraction'. For someone who’s such a know-it-all with your stupid booksplaining bullshit, you’re awfully dumb. I'm too lazy to write the rest of this comprehensively, so just enjoy the notes I took while I read. *The way Will dumps Thomas for Jem and immediately forgets about him as a person is so messed up. And then Thomas just dies in the end. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Who cares about the mundanes that work for the Shadowhunters, right? *This book has one of those love triangles where it's like...okay, sure Will is hot, but Jem is RIGHT THERE. * Tessa….girl, really? You had to scream for Nathan and ruin the WHOLE Shadowhunter plan? And you don’t even feel a lil bit bad about it. *Question. Why would a knife be stronger than Tessa’s temporary vampiric strength? Like why would a knife be able to remove Nathaniel’s manacles when a vampire with super strength couldn’t? *Tessa telling Brother Enoch she’ll never forgive him if anything happens to her brother. Girl, do you think he CARES? *'It hardly seems worth living a long time if you’re going to look like that.' WOOOOOOW TESSA. * Lol at Tessa not knowing if it’s right to feel murderous and, like me today, wanting to kill every man I come into contact with. * LMAO TESSA COMPARING HER BEING HALF DEMON TO JEM BEING HALF CHINESE. It’s not the same thing, ma’am. * God, if Tessa had just TRIED to open the door herself when the automatons were attacking her and Jem, she would’ve found out so much sooner that she had Shadowhunter blood * What the heck does fighting smell like? * “Maybe you should just let him have me.” Ugh, shut UP, Tessa. * I literally hate Will. He’s such a butthole. The way he talks to Tessa when Jem asks for her to see him. “He wants to talk to you. So you will get up, and you will come with me, and you will talk to him. Do you understand?” Like, um, excuse the fudge out of me???? * “IF you care about him so much, why not look for a cure?” What’s with this trend of Clare’s FMCs thinking it’s okay to say things like this about people they’ve known for three days? Also, Jem legit told her last night that he asked them to stop looking for a cure, so why is she even saying this * When Mortmain tells Tessa that he knew he was going to marry her and they would be together forever, her first response is, " WHAT IF I WAS UGLY?!?! I’m dead, goodbye forever. I want to know what would’ve happened if she was a boy. Would Mortmain still marry her? Why did he need to marry her if he only planned on having her shapeshift into his warlock dad so he could bind demon energies to his robots? (That is the funniest sounding plot ever. Goodbye) * God, Tessa comparing Will’s assholery to Mr Darcy is infuriating because that should not be the norm, man. Like Mr Darcy is the exception, okay. He’s one of the few who gets to pull that shit off. Will is just a dick. * Jem straight up just said Will’s parents are dead when they’re not the hell? “I am not sure there is anyone in the Institute who is not an orphan. Otherwise we would not be here.” EXCEPT WILL ISN’T AN ORPHAN, HE HAS PARENTS. View all my reviews

#clockwork angel #cassandra clare #the infernal devices #shadowhunters

[incorrectshadowhunters1234]

Hi thanks for checking in, I'm still a GROSS SOBBING MESS

#in case yall forgot #im depressed biiiiiitch #also tessa will and jem are just so damn beautiful just *chefs kiss* #clare really be knowing how to twist peoples feelings #but tbh it hurt so good #yall at this point i just cant even #like i know what happens and all #but that just makes me feel worse #coz will died #even if it was a good and full life #and jem will die #and then tessa will be alone #and dat make me sad #maybe mina can be immortal #ive honestly thought about it long and hard #what if jem gets bitten by a vampire #and then tessa and jem will be together forever #or like tessa dies at the same time as jem #OBVIOUSLY i dont want either of them to die #but all of this just hurts me #coz even if will and jem are together tessa will be alone having lost the two people she cared so much about #i NEED mina to be immortal #so she can be with her mom #so tessa doesnt lose all the people she loves #and even if i went to fanfic to calm myself its just not the same

[munzs-stuff]

sad things

Nothing made sense to Magnus anymore. Not the steady sky, not the ground beneath his feet, and definitely not whatever Catarina was saying to comfort him right now. His eyes hurt from the crying. He’d tried so hard not to. His Alexander wouldn’t have liked that. But he couldn’t help it. Because he was gone.

He was gone. He was gone. He was gone.

What magnus would do to see those blue, blue eyes that had never managed to fade no matter Alec’s age through the years. What he’d do to hold his hands again. What he’d do to hear his voice again. It was all gone. Magnus had lost his everything.

“Magnus. Look at me. You knew this was coming. We all did,” Catarina coaxed, her voice soft.

Magnus looked up at her, tears once agains spilling relentlessly down his cheeks. He knew he had to be strong for Rafe and Max. His little boys. But right now he couldn’t. He couldn’t even look at the mirror. All he could do was let the tears spill and feel his heart break into pieces more and more every passing second.

Such was the curse of being immortal.

~

Tessa wasn’t sure if she should be used to this yet. One one hand, she’d been doing this for decades. On the other hand Jem was dead. Her James. The love of her life. Her eyes were dry, but she was sure that if someone were to cut her open right now, they’d see that her heart was shattered in pieces.

Did she deserve this? Did she deserve to lose loved one after loved one? She knew it was coming. Jem wasn’t immortal. He had a prolonged life, yes, but not unending. She pressed her eyes close, her fist closing around her jade necklace. The jade necklace. The one Jem had gifted to her so many years ago. The first tear slipped down her cheek.

The two of them had already outlived her Mina. SHe remembered that night, the two of them holding either hands of their precious little girl as she took her last breath. SHe remembered Emma’s voice breaking up with sobs as she told Tessa that Kit had died an honourable death in battle.

Honour. That’s all life was for Shadowhunters. Of course no one knew better than her. She’d been living around Shadowhunters since she was sixteen. Now she was almost 350 years old. Her heart contracted in grief.

She was sobbing now. Holding onto Jem’s cold, still, wrinkled hand as Silent Brothers prepared to take his body to the Silent City as Magnus gripped her shoulder weakly, a look of intense pain in his eyes. They’d known each other for so long. “I hope it’s a long time before you have to call me again,” they’d said to each other. It was a long time, of course. It’s just that it never felt like long enough. Not with Will, not with James and Lucie, not with Mina and Kit, and not with Jem.

Magnus had felt his own pain too. Some decades ago. She remembered how hollow he looked, how completely devoid of any life. She pondered over if she looked the same now.

“Wǒ ài nǐ.”

Such was the curse of being immortal.

~

Mark gripped Kieran’s hand with the force of a thousand cannons. He’d grown old now, only in body of course. He was still his Mark. His Mark who would still get that confused look on his face all the time, the same Mark who was absolutely hopeless in the kitchen, the same Mark that saved him when he was in the Wild Hunt. They’d saved each other then. They would do it again.

That time it was them holding onto the very essence of each other, not letting each other forget themselves. This time they’d remember Cristina. Their Queen of Roses. Cristina, their saviour. Cristina, the woman that they’d spent most of their lives loving.

Now she was gone. Never to be seen again. Never to be touched again. Death was a foreign concept to faeries. Now that there was no war, faeries were back to living their immortal lives. Not to Keiran though. He watched on as the loves of his life became aged and withered with every passing year that felt like the blink of an eye.

Such was the curse of being immortal.

#tsc #tsc textpost #the mortal instruments #tmi #the dark artifices #tda #the infernal devices #tid #magnus bane #catarina loss #alec lightwood #malec #will herondale #tessa gray #jem carstairs #jessa #wessa #heronstairs #herongraystairs #cristina rosales #mark blackthorn #kieran kingson #keirarktina

[grade-a-masochist]

Kit and Ash headcanons

A bunch of my Kit and Ash headcanons. I think that they would make for a really interesting dynamic, is all, so here goes. They’re after the read more, since it got...long. They all got pretty descriptive, after all!

It also ended up including a lot of headcanons for Jem, Tessa and Mina, as well as how Kit and Ash experience the world around them. Plus some general headcanons.

I'm always thinking about this bunch, so if you're interested in more headcanons, lemme know

Edit: The second batch of Kit and Ash headcanons is here.

Kit and Ash began seeing each other in dreams like. Years before TWP began.

So, picture this. You're Kit. You just went to bed after a grueling day of being trained by James Carstairs, former shadowhunter extraordinaire. You are also ever so acutely aware that your cousin Jace is coming over tomorrow and that he will make you lose the last remaining slivers of your will to live via rigorous training. The only comfort is that Simon is also going to suffer death by Jace.

You are, understandably, exhausted and eager to sleep. So you do just that. And promptly find yourself in the middle of the fucking woods in the dead of fucking winter.

Now, you are no stranger to weird dreams. You've been having them most of your life and yes, they've gotten considerably worse since your father died, and significantly worse still since what happened with Livvy and Ty. But there's different categories to them. There's Ty dreams, there's Livvy dreams, there's Johnny Rook dreams, and then there are...The Dreams.

The Dreams usually consist of incredibly disturbing and foreign images that feel at once bewildering and yet painfully, sorrowfully nostalgic. There's a pang of recognition every time, like a blow, amongst the blood and the grit and the whispers of your dreams. There's a lot of bronze and a lot of white, a lot of fire and a lot of fights, and you can't ever make sense of them. You try. God, do you try. But the only thing there is dread, heavy and solid, and the creeping feeling that you've already lost something deeply precious.

Now, the woods you are in, even though you just went to sleep? This doesn't fit any category, except maybe sleepwalking. Because although things are hazy, idyllic, whimsical—they're pretty real, too. The snow burns along the bridge of your nose and melts on your lashes, even though the cold doesn't make you shiver. The flower petals and pine needles under your feet crunch softly when you turn in a circle. When you inhale, the air is crisp and harsh in your lungs, even if it isn't unpleasant. And you can tell at once, because there's that tingle of recognition down your spine, a familiarity you cannot describe—you're in the Faerilands. The one place where you're never supposed to go. Figures.

You don't hear the footsteps so much as you feel them. All that training is paying off, because something at the back of your neck prickles, some long-dormant instinct, and when you turn, it's quick and graceful and practiced. You're not sure what you expect to see—maybe assassins, maybe a ghost, maybe a monster, maybe none of the above—but it's certainly not a guy staring at you with Clary Fairchild's eyes.

The comparison is not apt. Clary's gaze is warm and kind and welcoming. The gaze that stares at you now is frigid and sharp and predatory, meditating on all the ways to take you apart, same as you analyze all the ways in which the parts that make people up come together. It's dark and deep and it cuts you to the quick.

And then you feel it, as you lock eyes, trembling down your spine, zinging through your skin.

Ah.

There's that recognition again, quick and firm and brutal. Except this time, it's not a suggestion. It's not a vague feeling. It's a certainty, bone-deep, that tells you you know this guy and he knows you. You know him on a level that you're not used to knowing people, even though you don't know him at all. You're sure you could pick him apart, even though you couldn't even say his name. You're sure the same familiarity is buzzing through him.

And you think, fuck you. Because isn't it just so convenient that this guy—a fae, at that, because you can see it and feel it—is another part of all the reasons you fear for your life and your family's life even on your best days. And isn't so convenient that you know him. And isn't it so convenient that he knows you. And isn’t it so annoying that you want to know him. You already are starting to, picking apart what makes him tick, just like you were raised to. Old habits die hard.

When he asks your name, his voice is smooth like honey and pleasant, even though it's flat and distant and cold. You get the feeling you should fall right under the syrup and swallow it up. You get the feeling you could, if you were so inclined to.

As it is, all you feel is annoyance, because you can feel the magic in him like a languid current, like the currents wading around you the longer you stand here staring at him, and you know that you're expected to fall in line and answer him and love him.

So you tell him, "Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy," and the next thing you know, as his face contorts incredulously, Mina is shrieking her delight and jumping in your bed as Oscar the dog (well, technically the ghost) pants by your feet.

Three days later, you wander into the same woods, and find him cleaning the sword that had hung by his hip last time. He asks you your name again. You ask him his. You play hot potato like this for four more visits, much to your mutual and evident dismay, and valiantly do not try to kill each other, though the tension is as tangible a force as the string pulling them into the same space to begin with.

You see him several times a week, whether you want to or not. Sometimes he wanders into your dreams. Sometimes you wander into his. More often than not, you wander into each other in the liminal space of the Faerilands, where the seasons change alarmingly fast but he does not, except for the fact that his skin gradually begins to swirl with runes.

You never stop seeing him after that.

You don't really know how to feel about that.

Like, at all.

This is sort of implied by the last one, but: Kit isn’t actually affected by the perfect loyalty spell.

That’s not to say he’s not aware of it. In fact, he’s hyper-aware of it and everything else related to Ash. Hell, being around Ash is like being turned into a live wire with how fucking aware he is. And it doesn’t really take a genius to figure out why, with who Kit is. What he is.

Ash is appealing to him in every sense of the manner, because Kit is pretty sure fae are built to be appealing in every sense of the manner. His voice, his face, his bone structure, his eyes, the way he talks, the way he moves, even his scent—all of it is honey a fly, and if any common fae attracts a swarm, Kit can only imagine how many Ash calls to him. He’s perfectly charming and he’s, quite literally, enchanting. Kit would have to be dead not to notice, and then dead again because even a vampire could tell and be trapped by it.

But.

But being conscious of it does not in any way mean Kit is swayed by it.

He could be, he thinks, if he allowed it. It’d be quite easy, actually, because it’s just as easy to blink away the film that Ash’s existence tries to drag over his eyes. It’s second nature, in fact. So, it could be third nature to let it in instead of keeping it out, if he were so inclined. 

But that would have to be a conscious decision, which he finds about as appealing as getting stabbed in the gut. As it is, it washes over him like water off a duck’s back, slippery and insistent and curious. Different than the buzz of when they come into contact, or the currents that seem to thicken between them whenever they’re in the same vicinity, tumultuous and arresting. But familiar nonetheless. Familiar the way many things about Ash are, even when they feel jarringly foreign.

The magic is strong, like a waterfall right like over Kit’s head whenever Ash so much as looks his way, but it’s easy to be distracted from it by other things. It’s not uncomfortable, not like the pressure of their proximity; in fact, it can even be pleasant. It soothes Kit’s rage considerably, which means he just gets angrier out of seemingly reflexive spite, and it relaxes him, which makes him want to tense up just to prove a point. And he does. Until he doesn’t.

But the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t feel beholden to it in the least.

In fact, he finds it annoying as hell, because he can tell that he’s supposed to fall head over ass in a quest to make Ash his number one priority at all costs, and that’s more than vaguely insulting. So much so that it makes Kit feel more than vaguely murderous. It makes him more furious than anything has since he had to accept that he was a Herondale when the rug got yanked out from under him.

But with time, he ever so reluctantly lets it go, because although Ash seems confused as to why it doesn’t work—and wasn’t that a fucking woozy—he also seems vaguely, ever-so-slightly, ever-so-secretly pleased. Kit has never met anyone that even somewhat enjoyed being brutally and viciously and very vocally hated, but he supposes there’s a first time for everything.

(Needless to say, Ash is pleased because that means that, whatever Kit feels toward him—be it negative, positive, both or neither—is fully, wholly, entirely real. It’s genuine. And he’s never really had that. So he’s more than a little delighted to experience it. Even if Kit is incredibly annoying.)

Ash and Kit struggle with touching each other.

There's definitely some trauma reasons behind this. Undoubtedly.

Kit has gone without affection for most of his life and that has left its mark, even if he now has all the affection one could would, via his family.

On the other hand, Ash has a very long history with touch signifying pain. It's been weaponized against him, until he associates it with violence.

The point is, they have a shit history with touch and that certainty influences Le Situation.

But, in truth, there's also a magical aspect to it.

Namely, how the magic between them interacts.

Both Kit and Ash are one of kind, in their own respective ways. There's nobody else like them, not anymore. There may never be anyone like them ever again. And what they do know for a fact is that people like them have never interacted the way they try to.

Hence, the first they touch, it's...interesting.

It's not entirely deliberate. They could call it an accident, but the truth is that very little between the two of them can ever be defined as wholly accidental, because of the very nature of their interactions. Thus, it's not entirely planned. It is, mostly, accidental.

They're skipping rocks, one of their past times that is less likely to end in them trying to kill each other, and Ash offers Kit a rock. It isn't peaceful in the least, but it is companionable, as comfortable as they've been able to get, and their conversation is civil, for a change.

Hence, when Kit offers a rock, another one of their many sharp, double-edged olive branches, Ash doesn't hesitate to grasp it.

It's just a brush of their fingers as the rock trades hands, just knuckles knocking together and calloused fingertips rubbing against each other, nails catching on skin. At least, it's supposed to be.

In truth, their fingers barely begins to brush before they feel it, thick and pulsing and firm between them, like shoving your hand straight into a river's current and trying to push back against it. The pressure is immediate and it is brutal, the live-wire buzz that their proximity constantly hums climbing to the beginning of a burn, flaming up and down their spines like they've come into contact with heavenly fire.

It's a frisson spreading over them, lightning striking down the knobs of their spinal cords and tingling through their skin. It isn't painful, no, but it's uncomfortable, unsettling. It sets off their instincts, warning bells and panic, in the way standing at the edge of a cliff does. Like standing too close to a fire.

At once, they flinch away, hands hovering inches away from each other, the magic constantly surrounding them thickening into something that's almost fucking visible. They've been like magnets since they met, pulled together by something other than themselves, and now, just like when poles face each other, they're bouncing off each other.

They look at each other, confused brows and wide eyes, Kit's mouth half-open with surprise, a question there. He doesn't need to ask for Ash to nod, a confirmation that Kit hasn't lost his mind. Kit alternates between the rock and Ash's too-still fingers, squinting. Ash looks between their hands and Kit's eyes like the answer will spell itself out if he glowers long enough.

No such luck. As it is, Ash readjusts his stance and slowly, ever so carefully, reaches out again. Kit tenses, bracing against whatever is about to happen, keeping his hand still and out snd steady.

As their hands near, it happens again; the currents between them harden, packed air and running waves, and Ash's brow furrows, even as his jaw clenches stubbornly. Instead of relenting, he pushes forward, further and further and further, mouth curdling into a grimace and breath freezing in his lungs with every milimeter he pushes through.

Kit tenses further and further with each one, face pinched with the same discomfort shuddering its way through Ash's body. It's like a fucking mantle over each of them, reacting only to each other. Reacting because of each other.

By the time their fingers are about to touch, it's taking all of Kit's self-control not to snatch his hand away. Now, it almost stings, standing on the knife's edge between discomfort and pain. Everything with Ash is heightened and quick and vicious. He doesn't want to find out how this is gonna feel.

But Ash doesn't touch him. He doesn't even try. Instead, he very carefully, very deliberately avoids it, pinching the rock between his fingers and all but snatching his hand away, stumbling half a step backwards with the pressure of it all.

Kit doesn't realize he'd been holding his breath until he finally exhales in relief, chest and throat burning with it, and he doesn't care about apperances for once. He presses his hands over his knees and bends over as he pants, acutely aware of the shivers wracking through him, sparks bursting behind his eyes.

He can tell that Ash isn't doing any better, not because he can see it, but because he can feel it. For the few moments it takes him to stabilize his galloping heart and his breathing, he can feel Ash's own, faster than he's ever seen them, unsteady and messy.

And then he blinks his eyes open and Ash is alright, perfectly composed, perfectly okay—except his fist has clenched into a vice around the rock, knuckles bone-white and trembling, blood drip-drip-dripping from their crevices easily.

Kit straightens up, calm spreading over him at the sight of something he fix, at the sign that he wasn't the only one rattled by the event.

And so he pointed at it and said, "Iratze."

And Ash's gaze snapped to him, startled, another one of those moments when Kit remembered that Ash experienced the world and its pains in ways utterly foreign to Kit. Slowly, his green eyes fell to his hand, fingers slowly uncurling from the rock, exposing bloody palms and jagged cuts. A frown adorned his porcelain features, a shadow crossing his eyes. There he went again.

With a sigh, Kit pulled his stele out from his pocket and leaned over, careful to make sure no part of them brushed, gritting his teeth around the currents of resistance as they got ever closer. Ash did not flinch, though alarm flashed over his eyes.

It was the hardest iratze of Kit's life, drawn sloppily over the bump of Ash's wrist bone. It wasn't perfect and it wouldn't work as such, but it'd do.

True to form, when Ash skipped his rock, it was with perfect accuracy, and his hand came back healed, even though he had to wash it out in order to actually see it.

They didn't touch again for a long time.

Fae's real names hold weight, right? Not with hybrids, as we know, but what if it was, instinctively, the principle of the thing. (AKA, Kit introduces himself as Christopher.)

During Kit and Ash's game of name hot potato, it is, surprisingly, Ash that finally gives.

They've been at this for weeks and honestly, little progress has been made. He knows Kit has a sister and a cousin, he knows he's no good with words but he's clever, he knows that Kit knows him even though he does not want to, which is a mutual feeling. He also knows that Kit is completely immune to his—literal—charms.

Kit is a walking, talking obstacle. Ash wouldn't mind cutting him down like a weed.

Except.

Though it's true he doesn't really seem to have a choice in the matter, much like Ash, Kit is still here. He isn't beholden to him by love, loyalty or charm. But he's still here. He still talks to Ash, even if most of their conversations devolve into thinly veiled threats and not-so-subtle resentful spats over their differences. Of which there are an unfortunate many.

There's also the matter of Ash being supremely out of his depth, being around someone who doesn't feel the need to care for him for once, and Kit seems to be the distrustful type, which suits him just fine.

Tactically speaking, though, however intriguing their existential arguments are, they're not liable to get anywhere if they continue like this. In fact, they're liable to kill each other first. So, Ash decides perhaps he should move his piece. A slight nudge. It is purely strategic. It has absolutely nothing to do with his genuine curiosity toward Kit and his juxtapositions.

So, during another round of "Who are you?" "I don't know, who are you?" When Kit mockingly, sarcastically plays his part, Ash answers honestly.

"My name is Ash." Just Ash. Not Ash Morgenstern, Sebastian's son or the Seelie Queen's offspring. Not Ash Morgenstern, who is to be the better Sebastian, as Janus wants. Not the boy who had his throat slit wide open by the king for a vial of blood, because there was power in him. None of that. Just Ash.

He thinks that, in this situation, it's easy to be just that.

Kit looks surprised, for a moment, and then a tad disarmed, and then wholly suspicious. And then, amusingly enough, he looks begrudgingly cowed.

Finally, in grumbling tones, he says, "Christopher."

It's odd, the way he says it. A bit dazed, a bit languid, and not at all deliberate. Like the simple honesty of it unfamiliar to him, rolling uncomfortably off his tongue. He says it in a mutter that could get lost in the soft twinkle of the woods and the gentle drizzle of the wind, were Ash not always keeping an ear open for everything Kit has to say, almost as studiously as Kit seems to listen to him, even when he pretends to ignore him.

The way Kit looks, he's surprised that's what came out. It takes Ash a moment to realize that perhaps it's not the name he usually goes by. Another moment to realize the raw vulnerability that crosses Kit's face for a moment, before he defiantly shuts it into boredom and distance, cockiness. Yet another, and he realizes that they're not all that dissimilar.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, then, Christopher," Ash says, going back to practicing runes on his ankle.

He means it.

Lake Lyn's water gives the fae "true sight" and allows them to see visions. It's poisonous to nephilim. For Ash and Kit, it's both.

How do they figure this out, you ask? They get thrown into Lake Lyn. They almost die. It is not fun.

They come out sputtering and hypothermic and also puking out half the river in the most disgraceful picture ever. For heirs to the throne, they look like wet, sick kittens.

And then they start going through the weirdest drug trip ever. Yes, they're running a very high fever. They're delirious. They're also half blind.

But they're seeing a lot of what's going to happen in the future and a lot of what happened in the past. They see their families, past and present and though there are glimpses of a future, it is...conspicuously hollow.

They see war and bloodshed and they see their allies turning on them. They see themselves alone and battered and broken.

Kit sees himself falling from the sky. It takes him a moment to realize he's got dark wings in the periphery of his vision and that there's iron netting burning along them, and that he...doesn't have wings.

It takes Ash a second to recognize Tessa Gray's face from Kit's dreams when he sees her, and then another to recognize the sword impaled inside his own chest, gilded gold and an inscription, a name—Cortana, it says Cortana—and yet another to see her tears and understand.

And then it's them, together, in Faeri, fighting against their worst enemies and their worst fears taken flesh—and they fight together. They wouldn't call each other friends, no, but they're not enemies, either, and they trust each other with their backs. Even though they should not. Even though they really should not.

If they're stuck with each other, they'll make sure they both make it out alive.

If only because they should be the ones to tear each other in half.

When Kit comes to, Ash has been dragging him through the woods of Idris, soaking wet and catatonic, while muttering under his breath in what he's halfway certain is a foreign language.

When he realizes Kit is awake, he asks, "What did you see?"

And all Kit can do is laugh so he doesn't cry. That seems to be answer enough for Ash.

(This is a particularly funny headcanon because before the parabatai ceremony aka the trial by fire, there's the trial by water. You know what it's about? You guessed it—you drink Lake Lyn's water together and see if your mind takes you to the same place, to fight to protect each other. Wonder what that’s about...)

Kit and Ash fight amazingly, instinctively well together. And guess what:

They hate it.

They despise it.

It's a little comical, really, and Kit's posse of ghostly friends is not shy about saying it. But Kit is so unamused. He is so unmoved.

After months and months of coiled tension, of barbed wire arguments, of hissing threats and very consciously turning away from each other to keep the peace, they understand each other. Somewhat.

They know each other's body language. Some of their tells. The way Kit's shoulders curl when he's wary. The way Ash's fingers give him away when they're too still or too twitchy, which is hard to tell apart from his general graceful stillness or his general twitching. (Not for Kit. That one's easy.)

And so, since they are both adept at seeing people's behavior and learning it, at seeing intentions through the language of the body, they fight like they've known each other for years.

Kit finds it so annoying that he could literally, physically scream. Ash just finds it confusing in a very 😐 way.

Where Kit wades in, Ash washes out. When Ash goes under, Kit aims higher. When Kit goes in, fast and lethal and up-close, Ash dances away, hard to catch and fluid as water.

Kit fights dirty; there's nothing fair or honorable about it. It's all speed and grace and clever movements, twin daggers slicing through tendons like butter, a swift leg kicking feet out from under people, dirt kicked into people's eyes and glasses smashed over their heads. He doesn't fight to win so much as he fights to survive, and so it's less about proving a point, about scoring, and more about making sure they can't get him. He's slick, slippering through grips like smoke, comfortable in the shadows, where he reigns king. He doesn't fight harder, he fights smarter.

Often, that means people find it distasteful, because he will manipulate and lie and brutalize his way out of a fight. He uses people's weakness against them the second he sniffs them out. He uses their anger, their sadness, their fear. Whatever he has to do, even if that's a knife to the back, even if that is something he'll hate himself for come morning.

Anything to survive. Anything to protect that which he loves. Anything to come back home.

Ash is of a mind with him. There's little he won't do to come out on top, whether it's lying or making false promises or biting his way through someone's carotid before they can slice through his own. In a fight, Kit is ruthless, but Ash is brutal. He blazes through every battle like it's his last. He fights to win, every single time, using every asset at his disposal to do so. He'll charm, he'll deceive, he'll be cruel, he'll be vicious, he'll be monstrous. He doesn't care; he's been entrusted with goals and dreams and expectations, and he'll meet each and every one.

(His father only ever said one or two things Ash actually found important. One of them was if I can't move heaven, I'll raise hell.)

(And here Ash is, huh.)

Ash has Jace's grace and Emma's strength, the same relentless grit, pushing and pushing until his opponent gives. He's got his mother's ease for figuring people out, for singling out the chinks in their armor. He's got his father's ease for exploiting them. He's a vision in the battlefield, wading his way through the chaos easily, never losing his cool and never tripping over his feet, dancing to a tune only he and few others seem to understand.

He's built for endurance and he's built for strength, but he's speedy in his own right and his instincts are impeccable. His reflexes, even more so. Plus, his wings are surprisingly vicious weapons and they move like an extension of himself, easy and fluid.

He's a warrior. A leader, even.

Kit, on the other hand, is built for speed more so than strength, even if he is strong. He's resilient and he endures. He doesn't give. And it's profoundly annoying, because he runs circles around the people he fights, slippery and clever. He ends things fast, either because he doesn't give his opponents a chance to make it otherwise or because he comes at them so sharply, so suddenly, they can't stop him, even when they know he's coming. When it drags on for longer, though, Kit fights a war of atrition, because his stamina is ridiculous. He has the time and the patience to pick at them and prod at the right places, so they'll get sloppy and give him an opening.

Kit's got that Herondale grace to him, beautiful and dangerous, but he also has the Carstairs patience, their ease. Their deliberation. He's got Tessa's quiet ferocity, her stubbornness. And he has his father's arrogance, that way he knew what buttons to push to get what he wanted.

If Ash moves like water, Kit moves like smoke, gone and then here again in a blink, pervasive and inevitable and fucking annoying. Pretty brutal, too, and often unfair.

Their signature weapons represent this, too.

(Thule's) Heosphoros, Morgenstern sword it is, cuts through everything like Ash's will. It strikes true and it strikes hard, relentless, and though it's smaller than its cousin, Phaesphoros, it's no less lethal. In Ash's hand, even a spoon would do the trick, but Heosphoros moves like it's a part of his arm, smooth and easy and beautiful.

And it could be the last thing you see, if that's what Ash wishes.

Kit's bichuwa daggers are curved, wickedly sharp things, older than anyone he knows is, except maybe Magnus. From the first time he holds them, they feel right in his hands, balanced in a way no weapon but the dagger Jace gave him has been. Dual wielding was daunting at first, unfamiliar and strange, but with time and training and help, it becomes as instinctive to him as breathing.

He's a menace with them, whirling through everything in his path like a cyclone of doom. They are versatile, adaptable weapons, though they're not for everyone. It takes a clever mind to adjust to them, takes a light step to wield them right. In Kit's hands, they're weapons of destruction and mercy tucked by his sides, ready to be drawn in a single flash that might be your last.

These two fighting styles, unsurprisingly, mesh very, very well.

It's easy. Instinctive. Pieces falling into place. Parallel lines. The push and pull of the waves taken physical shape, even with how wary they still are, even with all the damn walls. A game of smoke and mirrors taken flesh.

Nobody finds it more ??? than the Blackthorns, to be perfectly honest.

Tessa and Jem have...found feelings.

Mina likes it on sole account of thinking Ash is the coolest person ever outside of her family and Emma, because of his wings.

That annoys Kit even more, for the record, because he kinda gets where she's coming from.

Ash notices this. Kit doesn't want to be here anymore.

Kit's bichuwa daggers were once a part of Alastair's collection.

Once, Alastair resided in the home Kit and his family now live in. Now, Kit should technically know little of this; those are Carstair tales and the hurt of them is fresh for Jem, who would have given plenty of his ribs to help his family in their struggles if given the chance. Someday, he'll share. Until that day, they're all content to wait.

But the truth is that Kit knows things he doesn't want to know, things nobody should know. Because he sees things.

Kit's a Herondale. Herondales see more than the average person, even if that person is a nephilim. They see the living and the dead as though they were one and the same, the rules of the universe be damned. But Kit is fae, too, and there is more than enough of Auraline in him for him to see more than ghosts.

He sees the past, dreamily hazy and yet technicolor-like in its detail. Walking down the halls of Cirenworth, Kit can almost taste the past. Can hear Cordelia giggling and can see Alastair's tortured stoicism. He sees enough of them to know who they were, not as names but as people. He doesn't see enough to know exactly what happened to them, but he sees enough to think maybe he's okay with not knowing, with imagining they lived to be very happy.

But Oscar wasn't Cordelia's dog and he wasn't Alastair's, so what the hell was he doing here? How come Matthew Fairchild—the boy he saw when he held onto James's ring tightly enough, for that parabatai of his was as much a part of James as his own heart was—had somehow come to be here?

Or, if not Matthew, how come the dog he'd been so fond of ended up dying here?

Didn't make much sense, but Kit was learning quickly not to question the things he saw. Not the future and its chaos, the flames and the broken glass and the screams, and not the past, with its loss and its pain and its sepia mistakes.

So, when Oscar starts barking during Mina's first yuletide, Kit thinks nothing of it. Oscar is excitable and Kit is indulgent, given only he can hear him and Mina's naptime won't be disturbed. He pets him and plays with him and thinks nothing of the way he paces up and down one of the towers. It's not uncommon behavior. It shouldn't really raise any eyebrows.

Except it's been days and Oscar hasn't calmed down any. If anything, he's gotten more frantic. More pacing and more barking and a lot less sleeping for Kit.

So finally, Kit caves and follows the dog up to the top of the tower, with its roomy, dusty attic, sealed off and left for storage. It's a place Kit avoids, because the visions are particularly strong here. He suspects it has something to do with the imprints the past has left on the place. He really doesn't want to know if he's wrong or not.

But the lock gives easily with a couple shoves and a good picking, and Oscar rushes straight past him like a tornado, booking it toward the back of the room, avoiding all the piles of boxes and cases of weapons and white sheets protecting furniture from dust.

Kit follows wearily, blinking through the flashes of bleached hair and copper skin, hazel eyes and a fond smile. Love echoed through the walls like misery did, pulsing with loneliness and guilt and self-loathing as strongly as they did with affection; Kit could feel it like a physical touch, and he pulled down his long sleeves like that would ward off the way the echoes, words and sensations and memories, were already sinking into his bones.

But Oscar whined for his attention, sitting panting and waiting by the window, besides an ornate box caked in dust and half-hidden under a disturbed sheet. It's pure brass, shadowed by time but still swirling into beautiful patterns; it looks heavy, durable despite its beauty. Practical. And bigger than any jewelry box needed to be. Big enough it could be a gentleman's chest.

Kit blinked away the images of a past not his own, trying to forget the names to the faces—Alastair and Thomas, the voice in his head that wasn't his own whispered; Kit clenched his jaw—and followed Oscar, trailing fingers over his head, though he couldn't really touch him.

Here goes nothing, Kit thought, and then he unlatched the box.

And stared. And stared. And stared some more.

The first thing that strikes him as he stares down at the daggers is the violence of the recognition. The sheer familiarity. The certainty that yes, he's seen these somewhere before; he knows them, he's sure of it, in ways he hasn't ever been sure of much. He's seen them in the nebulous clouds of his visions, disjointed things that weren't dreams, that were memories nobody had yet or nobody had anymore.

The blades are twins, beautiful recurved, polished steel, glimmering even with the rust of time. The hilts were silver and brass, looping into knuckle-guards, ornamented elegantly with what looked like a small bird preparing to take flight. Guarding, almost. They lay on a bed of velvet, cared for, loved. There is power in them, dulled by time but waiting to blaze, and he can, at once, of their importance.

Same as he can tell, at once, that they're Carstairs blades. It's not in any signature he can see. Or in any ornament. No castle tower and no resemblance to Cortana beyond the wickedness of the blade's edge. Nothing to explain what he knew.

Nothing except memories, that is, and Alastair Carstairs's presence deep within the foundations of Cirenworth. There was no ghost of him. He was, at least in death, free. But Kit could feel him still, could feel the imprint he'd left here, heavy with conflict and a maelstrom of emotions, filled with abrasive longing.

He had a collection of daggers, Kit remembered abruptly. A great many of them, a whole slew of them, scattered throughout the world and the house, now. And it looked like Oscar had found one such pair for Kit.

"Good boy," Kit says, before he reapplies his Strength rune and heaves the chest into his arms.

As it turns out, Jem is none the wiser about these particular daggers. He doesn't recognize them, though he, too, is certain they belonged to Alastair. Tessa is slightly less clueless; as it turns out, they had belonged to Alastair, once upon a Tuesday. They were ancient, really, bichuwa daggers from the 17th century, one of Alastair's greatest findings and dearest treasures. They were Cordelia's favorites, apparently, or at least the ones that actually called to her eye.

And so, Alastair had apparently surrendered the daggers as a wedding gift, handed to his sister for safekeeping, so they would one day belong to a Herondale. As a gift. Since it was what made her happy.

"Did that happen?" Kit asked, even as he felt the answer in the drop of his stomach.

Tessa's smile crumpled, and that was answer enough.

Afterwards, they discuss what to do. Return them to the tower? Treasure them? Have them as family weapons along with Cortana? Save them for Mina, in case that she one day chooses to be a Shadowhunter, so a Carstairs can wield them?

They get nowhere.

Until Jem says, gentle in the way he always is to Kit, "Whatever the reason, they were meant for a Herondale."

Kit denies it vehemently, at first. He couldn't possibly. But Tessa softly adds that he was led to them, that he recognized them, that they are familiar to him. That he is a Herondale, their Herondale.

And that he is as much a Carstairs as he is a Herondale, because he is as much their son as Mina is their daughter, and—

And there's really not much Kit can say to that without breaking into tears, so he gives up and gives in, and sits down to polish the blades with Jem while Tessa puts on the tea.

(They are runed. Primed for the usage. They renew them, of course, after they've been polished and cleaned and sharpened back to their former glory, gleaming steel and a wicked edge to it. Merciless and vicious, and beautifully so.)

(They feel perfectly balanced in Kit's hands, the cold under his fingertips familiar and comforting, grounding. He thinks, as he settles his grip, that he could get used to this.)

(He looks up to smile at Jem, excited and bashful, and catches the melancholy gleam in his eye, the affection of his grin. And he finds that yes, these belong to him.)

The daggers:

Ash has the typical dramatic fae speech. Kit has the typical Herondale speech. Immovable object meets unstoppable force.

Banter. So much banter. So much bickering. They are a nightmare to be around.

Nobody can tell if they literally despise each other or would take a bullet for each other.

To be perfectly honest they don't know either and they have absolutely no desire to figure it out

Ash speaks like he came out of a damn Shakespeare play. Waxes poetry about everything. The perfect Victorian gentleman.

He speaks like Matthew and Will, okay. But like. With an indubitably straight face. All the fucking time.

It drives Kit up the wall.

(He doesn't know this, but that makes Ash get worse.)

Kit speaks like God mixed sarcasm, drama, and a fair bit of withering, scathing remarks into a bottle and then forgot to measure out the angst and the insults.

He speaks Herondale, is what he speaks.

Ash is somehow unperturbed.

(It drives him up the wall, too, but bold of you to assume he'd admit that on pain of death.)

By the time TWP begins, Kit can make bargains like the fae. Binding ones.

Not that he...actually knows this.

Yet another instance where the use of his abilities is purely instinctive.

They're in a pinch and he can't girlboss gaslight gatekeep his way outta this one, so he does the next best thing.

Bargaining.

"Let's make a deal," he tells the fae about to kill them all, and the asshole, predictably, pauses. Trust a fae to give into intrigue.

The fun bit comes when, once the deal is done with, the fae can't actually go back on it, both because they're a fae and because neither can Kit.

Subconsciously, he tied all his loose ends pretty tight, and the deal is exactly as he wants it to be.

And he keeps doing this. Over and over. Without fucking realizing.

Until one day he makes a deal with Dru of all people and then they find themselves in a bit of a situation when they realize neither of them can actually, like. Go back on it as they'd secretly planned to.

(Ash finds it hysterical. Kit can tell because his mouth twitched and his eyes darkened with amusement. Bastard.)

In the same vein, any type of promise, oath or vow between Kit and Ash is a mess. The world could literally end and the vow would still fucking stand.

This is how Ash ends up justifying giving a fuck about Kit to himself and the world, going all, "I am protecting my investment," in true antagonist-going-through-an-arc nature. Typical.

(Yes, this would subsequently turn into those “what do you mean, christopher is dying??? he made me a promise, how dare that utter nincompop—” “ASH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” “this is his own fault, really, he should have considered his options better before making promises with the fae”)

(This is particularly and spectacularly ridiculous because the promise was probably something along the lines of “hey, tell you what, if we make it out of this one alive, I’ll take you around the world myself” and now Ash is ready to conduct open heart surgery in the middle of a war In The Name of The Unbreakable Vow)

(Dru voice: They are idiots, your honor.)

Kit steals things from Ash to see how long it'll take him to realize they're gone.

It's a game they play

Except only Kit knows about it

It's a vindictive sort of pleasure at first, a purely spite-driven quest to chip away at Ash's sanity and glacier composure

Then it becomes a game

Ash is not amused.

Dru is.

She really, really is.

(Ash calls him sticky fingers and Kit just raises an eyebrow and goes, “I’m surprised you even knew that was a thing” and then they’re off again)

Kit lets Ash practice runes on him.

It's a really weird experience

Their relationship, if it can even be called that, has so many vitriolic layers of danger and tension and "I may or may not be the one to kill you one these days (real)" going on that it feels...oddly diminutive, comparatively

He's willingly—well, as willing as you can be when your freaky fae magic literally hauls you both into the woods in the middle of the night and you're still not entirely sure you're not actually there—sat by Ash's side for months now, discussing the most philosophical of things but not even knowing if he has a favorite meal. They've skipped rocks and they've hissed at each other because they’re seemingly not the yelling type and they've taken walks through the woods and one time Kit shoved Ash in a lake for no reason other than he could. They've told each other deep dark secrets under the guise of using them as weaponry. They've made each other vulnerable while being acutely aware that they're dangerous

Point is, they've kinda jumped the gun on this one. Sure, Kit doesn't even know Ash's birthday, but he does know what he'd kill and die for and that these things only align on the loosest of terms. Ash has no idea if Kit likes mangoes, but he does know what he hates and who he loves, and in the grand scheme of things, he thinks that kind of counts for more

Which is why, as Kit watches Ash practice the same runes on his foot over and over again, his skin sizzling softly, getting pinker and redder until the skin is burnt and blistered and the runes are still sloppy, still fading, he feels a profound level of annoyance

One that aligns almost perfectly with the tinge of concern in the back of his mind

Finally, with a long-suffering sigh, he snatches a hand around Ash's wrist. It's difficult to do, like threading through water, but he does it.

The skin under his hand is cold, not as much of that of the vampires that he has met, not as much as coming into contact with the shadow of a ghost, but enough that it would raise brows. It’s spring in Faeri now. His skin should be warm and clammy, like Kit’s, except it never is. Even when it snows, there’s no flush to his cheeks, no redness to his skin. There never is, unless he’s injured, which happens rarely enough that it’s a stele-only affair. Speaking of.

The pulse under Kit’s fingertips is strong and fast and steady, like nephilim pulses often are. It's faster than usual, though, hummingbird wings, a bit like Mina's. Except Mina's is slower, not faster, just like Tessa's. Tessa's is slowest, back home. Languid, almost. It took Kit a long time to realize his own pulse was weird like that, like Mina's, all smooth, dripping syrup, almost bored in its pace.

He thinks that's probably because he spent so much of his life ready to bolt at a moment's notice that he never knew what a resting pulse was until very, very recently.

He knows this is Ash's resting pulse, though, because it's not the first time he feels it. He even catches snatches of it sometimes, when he's in his dreams, like he's got an ear pressed right against his chest.

It doesn't jump at all with the contact. Just like it hadn't lurched with the pain. If anything, he looks a tad confused, in that wary, tense way they have around each other. Kit suspects his touch is more painful than the stele's persistent burn is, because touching each other is hard. It's like pushing through layers of power, through barriers standing between them, even though they can't see them.

Even so, Kit squeezes, tight enough to bruise the pale skin under his fingertips, to dig his nails in, pressing down on veins and capillaries, harshly enough for Ash's fingers to cease all movement, stele stuttering in place as smoke wafts gently from his flesh.

"Do me," Kit says, very slowly, very deliberately, a lick of an accent beginning to chase his words.

(Years in Devon will do that to you, he supposes.)

Ash doesn't really give any reaction between a momentary, curious smolder to his eyes, the beginning of a twitching brow that smooths out fast enough that anybody could chalk it up to their imagination. Kit doesn't. Kit knows. Kit waits.

Until Ash nods, decisive but subdued, because he always seems decisive but subdued, quiet and observant and dangerous by very nature, misleading in the delicacy of his bone structure and the demure look to his lashes, even though all his grace is coiled lethality.

The point is. He nods. And so Kit slowly, slowly lets go, working his jaw to contain a flinch at the shudder that works its way down his skin as he pulls back, threading through the heat of the water again, fingers squeezing reflexively. It doesn't hurt, not quite, but there's pressure to it, and it isn't comfortable.

(It gets easier the longer they touch, but boy will it take them a long time to fucking realize)

(When they do realize it, though, it's a gradual, conscious effort to ease their way through the current of pressure between them. They greet each other with small, careful touches, softening their way through it. Shaking hands for the fuck of it when they see each other. Bumping shoulders together. Brushing hands when exchanging things.)

(Eventually, it becomes easy to bear what becomes a moment of pressure. It's just a moment's pause, easy to adjust to, and though it's certainly not normal, it is for them. It's good enough.)

Ash reaches out and grabs Kit's wrist this time, his graceful fingers a little too stiff as they break through and cradle Kit's bone. He turns it over, slowly, the buzz spreading, the pressure aching. And then he begins pressing down his stele, making graceful shapes over shifting tendons and bumpy veins.

It happens many, many more times.

When Janus said it would be painful for Ash to bear runes, he didn't mean it in the normal way.

He didn't mean it in the "runes are generally painful, especially for newbies, buckle up" way.

He meant it in the "You have demon blood. This will be very difficult for you. It will hurt inmmensely. Buckle the fuck up" way.

Which, he was right, for the record.

“But Lucie and James also have demon blood and they’re doing just fine!” You might say. To which I’d respond that Tessa and Sebastian are drastically different examples of people with demon blood. Not to mention Ash has the blood of Lilith running through his veins. Lilith.

Also Ash is a freaking faerie, too, he and Kit are literally both one of a kind and my entire point is that I will die on this hill until Cassandra Clare herself comes and inevitably proves me wrong via The Wicked Powers. It’s okay. I know it’s coming

But until then.

It actually is physically painful for Ash to bear runes, especially at the beginning. He’d been trained as a warrior for most of his life, yes, and he was exceptionally good at it, but. Runes were, he soon learned, different.

Runes didn't come naturally to him in the least. Not like everything else had. It was harder for him to draw them than it ought to be. More painful, too, as they sizzled and burned their way into his body, leaving behind welts and red, blotchy skin. He'd seen the runes on Janus's skin, had seen how they were drawn upon it, and much as he tried to replicate them on his own, they didn't stick.

It bothered him. Constant practice was the only means to achieve perfection, of course, and so he would sit down with his stele for hours, pressing down as hard as he could, trying to sear the mark into his body.

It worked, little by little. The simpler runes began to stick, began to work. At a price, of course.

Namely, the pulses of pain that spread from the mark and throughout his entire body, chronic and sporadic and unstoppable. Apparently, some people were resistant to Marks. Apparently, Ash was one of them. For a variety of reasons.

Janus theorized as Ash came down with a fever when he got his first mark—Strength, of course—that it was a mix of resistance and his demon blood, plus the fae blood. It was like throwing a match in a powder keg and hoping for the best.

Ash pulled through, of course. Whether he would or not was never even a question. And as soon as he did, he began training again. That was never a question, either.

Janus wanted to give him the world, after all.

(The more permanent and powerful the rune, the greater the pain. The Voyance rune is agonizing to obtain under normal circumstances. For Ash, it's torture, fiery pain and tremors and firecrackers bursting through his spine. It's his skin peeling and itching, flushed and pallid by turns. It's the way he feels his entire body has been beaten black and blue, leaving him feverish and then boneless, hazy and disoriented.)

(It gets better. With time and practice and effort. Part of it is Ash getting adjusted, both to the pain and the sensation. Part of it is his body getting adjusted, striking a tentative and tenuous balance. Most of it, he thinks, is his will and his blood winning out over the part of him that belonged to his father.)

(He still practices frantically, though, both on his skin and Kit's, tracing all sorts of runes over their arms and legs and hips. Kit starts asking him for runes he needs, which is a tacit offering, an olive branch of sorts. Kinder than they usually are to each other. And hesitantly, against his better judgement, Ash always acquiesces.)

(He practices and practices and practices until finally his marks are perfect and elegant and looping over his porcelain skin, easy sprawls inked into him. They still hurt more than they probably ought to, but that's alright. Ash doesn't really mind pain or hurt anymore.)

(He's too familiar with it to care much.)

Ash has unusually sharp hearing (and a good nose).

Though less so than a full-blooded faerie like, say, Kieran, Ash has very keen ears. Better than most half-fae's, even, which is probably due to his mother being the Seelie Queen.

He's also got a very good nose, though not nearly as great as a downwolder's ought to be. Good enough to pick specific scents out, though, even complex ones.

Kit smells like summer to him. Summer rain and tarts, a tang of citrus and the bite of salt, either sweat or sea spray. Traces of sugar, caramel. He smells pleasant, headily so. Except when he's upset and his scent blazes into something charred and radioactive, utterly intoxicating.

Ash himself smells like snow and vanilla, the rust of blood of his father and his mother's dead flowers born anew, into the scent of a fresh bouquet. There's something subtle to it, enticing, almost enough to forget the bittersweet draw of Lilith's blood, licorice and tears and decay.

Ash and Kit are both faetally beautiful.

See what I did there? Faetally? Ey? No? Okay.

On a more serious note—Ash is gorgeous in the way porcelain is. He's enticing, meant to draw you in, even if he'll be your doom. He is, much like his mother, devastating.

Kit has always had startling eyes, the kind that command attention, that make people stare a bit too long. The kind of cheekbones that arch delicately and beautifully. The kind of plush mouth others cannot help but want to kiss.

And as he grows older, the appeal grows significantly stronger.

The fae blood in him is no joke. It strengthens as he comes of age, as his hair becomes spun gold upon his head, turns to aureate cascades under the light of the sun. As his eyes become the lighthouse that people would swim miles in the dark toward, just for the chance of taking a peak.

His mouth is tantalizing, his mole is inspiring, his freckles are constellations and his face is a work of art. It's Greek beauty, powerful and tragic and absolutely arresting.

It knocks people off their feet and onto their ass. It's charming and it's more than a little magic, too, enough that it takes some getting used to.

(Enough that, sometimes, Kit doesn't give them the time to.)

Tessa thinks Ash is a ghost.

Kit is a secretive, broody Herondale who keeps broody Herondale secrets. This is true. Even when he isn’t actively hiding things, he isn’t exactly forthcoming about them, because he doesn’t really think anybody cares (Tessa and Jem will change this, just you fucking wait)

But Kit is also a severely sleep deprived teenager who has night terrors and a very curious, very adorable little sister. Kit is that one brother who has to close his eyes because if he looks at Mina making puppy dog eyes, he’s caving

All this to say, when Mina wakes him up one day—she does this by jumping on his bed laughing and shrieking every other day—he blurts out Ash’s name instinctively.

He’s still in that in-between state, halfway under water and halfway gasping for air and pulling oxygen back into his lungs. When he’s like this, the real world and the one he sees every other night when he goes to sleep blend into a watercolor floor, into a vibrant haze. There’s Ash laying on a bed of roses and lilies, dandelions bursting through his hair, his eyes shut for once. 

(A very stubborn and deliberate way of telling Kit that he’ll always take the first step if he has to. Even if for all his forced nonchalance, arms folded behind his head, which is tipped back languidly, there are veins bulging at his runed forearms, popping at his neck. His pulse is over two beats faster than usual, and Kit can tell because he can see it jumping at his neck. His fingers are so still that stiff doesn’t even begin to describe it. His eyes keep moving behind his pale, bruised lids.)

(The strategy costs him.)

(But Kit does lay by his side, watching the way he reacts to the shifting of the blades of grass, or the sound of Kit shuffling in place, or the wind. Watching him deliberately not react to any of that, which is a reaction in and of itself to Kit’s trained eyes. Watching him letting himself be watched by not watching back.)

And then there’s Ash’s mouth twitching into that smile, mischievous and smug at once, a little pleased. He accomplished something by staying still all this time, leaving himself vulnerable, even if it was only an illusion. And he knows it.

And then there’s Mina curling into his side, giggling as she hides under his covers, like Jem won’t come lovingly drag them both out of bed by the scruff of the neck if he has to.

And there’s Kit muttering Ash’s name as their world fades into his own, and Mina scurries out of the blanket to blink dark, curious eyes at him.

“Ash?” she asks slowly, mouth clumsy around the new word, grin spreading in toothy delight when she sees that she got it right.

Kit ruffles her hair, watching her make a valiant attempt to flee with a shriek, and then says, because he can’t deny her anything, “He’s...a friend. One of the ones only I can see. Like Oscar.”

Not entirely true, but not entirely a lie, either. Enough of both to land on its feet, anyway.

Mina considers this for a moment, perched atop Kit’s chest like the world’s smallest queen, and then she nods decisively like that is very fair indeed. And that’s the end of that, as Kit snatches her around the waist and off the bed with him, her laughter filling the halls along with the smell of tea and coffee.

Little does our little Kitty know that Mina tells Tessa all about Ash—well, as much as a child who’s been speaking for all of 9 months can—very innocently.

Tessa pales a little at the mention of friends that only Kit can see, because her children do not have a good history with keeping ghostly friendships strictly friendly. In fact, they fucking suck at it and Tessa is going to have nightmares about the Jesse Situation for the rest of her prolonged existence.

But she decides to trust the process and trust Kit, most of all, because her boy may be a secretive, broody Herondale, but he’s still her boy. And she must trust that, if he does need her help or if he is, indeed, making his own Jesse Situation—Tessa might cave and turn to drink if she has to create mental folders for the Ash Situation, she really might—he will come to her. Eventually. Hopefully.

So for now, she kisses Mina’s forehead and says, “Ash sounds delightful, dear.”

(So imagine her surprise when, years down the line, she meets Ash and he’s a) decidedly alive, b) Sebastian Morgenstern’s son with the Seelie Queen, c) very attached to Janus The Serial Killer and d) Kit knew at least half of this. Kit knew him this entire time. Kit has known Ash Morgenstern for years and he never thought to mention it to any of them.)

(Fuck it, she might turn to drink anyway.)

(...At least it’s not another Jesse Situation?)

(No. No, it is not. It’s the first of many Ash Situations. Plural.)

(Will help them all wherever he is, because Tessa and Jem have their work cut out for them. And Clary, too. Hoot, hoot.)

Kit gives Ash his Enkeli rune.

I hear your skepticism, I do. But worry not. There are Reasons behind this.

Obviously, none of what happens in their dreams, short of them actually...dying—they haven’t tried that one yet—actually carries over to the waking world. Otherwise, they’d have a bit of a huge problem trying to keep their respective dream partner secret from everyone else.

Hence, when an actual conversation—a civil one! One that wasn't even dreary!—takes place, glossing over a lot of factors to keep the peace, Ash mentions that he doesn't have the Enkeli rune yet.

It's permanent, after all. Same as the Voyance rune. And he's mildly avoiding permanent runes, given how much they take out of him while he adjusts—not that he'll ever admit to this.

Nevertheless, in the silence that follows, broken solely by the creek gently singing a few feet away from the patches of grass and wildflowers where they sit, Kit says, "Want me to draw it for you?"

There's forced levity to his voice, injecting nonchalance into the statement violently, like that can change its meaning or its impact or maybe the hesitation and deliberation that must have undoubtedly preceded it. It's another one of their careful side-steps around the truth, which is that they shouldn't be what they are to each other, whatever that is.

And Ash smoothly offering up a wrist, the picture of trust and compliance, is an acceptance that they are something. And that they'll figure out what to do with that later.

Ash's fingers are lax and graceful, forceful relaxation, a point being made. His veins glimmer like currents of watercolor over the delicate bones of his wrists, vulnerable under the thin film of his pale skin. Kit's hand moves to cradle it before he's made up his mind to, slow and careful, pushing through the pressure with as much ease as he can pretend to.

It's his left wrist, bare and rid of the raised silvery lines of faded Marks, his pulse a steady rise and fall as Kit digs his stele out of his pocket. He thinks about his own Enkeli, resting over the pulse pounding at his right wrist, and wonders whether it was purposeful. If it was deliberate.

He thinks it's better if he doesn't know and presses stele to skin, watching it sizzle and burn, like it's a brand he's pressing over Ash's bird bones.

By the time he's done completing familiar, simple lines, something in Ash has changed. A slight lurch to his shoulders, a tightness to the line of his crossed legs, a vein popping at his forearm insistently. It's subtle, small, negligible.

Kit knows better than to disregard it.

His alert gaze has gone hooded, though it grows sharper in compensation, even as the smoke disperses gently, even as there is a flicker of something in the corner of his mouth. It looks uncomfortable. Kit wants to know what it is.

But he knows better than to ask and so he says, "Now you have one," and tucks his stele behind his ear, and holds out a winning smile.

Ash takes the out for what it is, and smiles back, a thing full of mockery and irony. Even so, he doesn't tug his wrist away. In fact, he hardly seems to breathe at all until Kit lets go, feeling the pins and needles sensation linger.

(When Ash wakes up, the black angles are gone, his skin bare and unblemished, the feverish haze of pain absent.)

(When he meets Janus for training later that day, the lines are back and they're there to stay.)

Just some general runes they have.

Kit has a Calm Anger rune on his right hip-bone. After Kit explains in detail how his powers awakened and, more specifically, the why, Jem suggests that the Calm Anger rune might be helpful. It's not a cure; after all, Kit doesn't need curing. But it's a crutch of sorts while he learns to hone and control his abilities, so he won't give himself away or hurt others.

(He reapplies it very, very often. Better safe than sorry.)

Both he and Ash have Mnemosyne runes, for similar reasons. They both had excellent memories to begin with, nothing and filing away pretty much everything they saw or heard. The runes just expanded on something that already existed.

(Kit started out with an Eidetic Memory rune; he didn't ever want to forget his time with Tessa and Jem, or Mina's childhood, for one. But for another, he also didn't want to forget the Blackthorns, even if it was masochistic and unbearable to remember them more often than not. When he realized he was forgetting his father, though, no matter how hard he tried to remember him, because he'd still been his father—Kit drew upon himself the Mnemosyne. Permanent and reliable. Painful, too, but worth it.)

(It just so happens his visions went from what could be waved away as bad dreams to more, too much, shortly thereafter. Irony.)

(The rune is under his right collarbone.)

(Ash, on the other hand, went straight for the Mnemosyne. There were too many things he needed to remember with as startling a clarity as he possibly could. He lived in the Faerilands, surrounded by deceit and bloodthirst; he was going to have the world, sooner rather than later; and, whatever anyone said, he was his parents' son. He couldn't afford to fumble.)

(Thus, as permanent a remembrance as he could find it was.)

(Ash's Mnemosyne is on the inside of his left bicep.)

Kit got his Enkeli rune from Jem after a couple of months of training, drawn upon the inside of his right wrist. (Ash's being on the inside of his left wrist. Ahem.)

Ash has a permanent Strength rune swirling on the outside of his right forearm.

Kit prefers the more temporary ones, which he often inlays over spots of his arms, most notably his biceps.

Janus was the one to draw Ash's Agility rune on him, early on in his training. It's on Ash's right shoulder blade.

(Kit's was given to him by Tessa, and it's on the left side of his ribs.)

Kit has a Flexibility rune on the crevice between his left hip and thigh.

Kit has the Equilibrium rune right under the crook of his right elbow. He acquired it after Jem planted him into the floor for the seventh time in a row via knocking him off balance. Kit will die mad about it taking several weeks for Jem to mention its existence.

(Ash got his briefly after he got his Agility rune. It made him even more of a pain to deal with than he already was, given his incredible ability with hand-to-hand and unshakeable core strength. It's on his right bicep.)

Ash applies Fortitude runes on the line of his left shoulder.

(Kit tends to go for his sides or the inside of his arms.)

Kit's Speed rune is on the line of his left shoulder, and he always applies it on the same place once it fades, comforted by the habitual familiarity.

(Ash's runs along the length of his right collarbone.)

When a Foresight rune is required, Kit usually puts it along the veins on the inside of one of his forearms.

(Ash places them along his left hip-bone.)

Ash's Stamina rune is on the side of his throat.

(Kit's is on the right side of his breast, over his lung.)

Kit has a Speak in Tongues rune curling around the back of his left ear.

(The Herondales in his memories speak Welsh often enough that he'd go mad without it. That's without mentioning all the Persian whispers in these halls. And, besides, Jem speaks in Mandarin often enough for Mina to get accustomed to it. Until Kit somewhat grasps the language, which he intends to do, the rune will do.)

They are both right-handed, thus their Voyance runes are on the back of their hands.

These are, of course, just some of their runes. But I wanted to write it down.

Now, onto goofier things:

Ash is the taller one of the two.

In a funny twist of fate, Kit is still smaller than his companion

Ash is quite tall. At least as tall as Alec, without a doubt. And he's got broad shoulders to go with it, too, which makes him look taller.

(Kit is lithe and lean where Ash is broad and firm. Nevertheless, they are both the picture of statuesque beauty.)

Kit, who is smaller than Jace, nevermind Ash, will die mad about this.

At least he knows for a fact that, even though Ash is also physically stronger, Kit can carry his entire weight, wings and all, with no problem at all.

(Don't ask.)

Kit makes fun of Ash's circlets.

Especially the bejeweled one in Ash's latest flower card.

He also steals it more than once, which is honestly as impressive as it is befuddling.

Kit has his ears pierced.

He got them pierced for his seventeenth birthday, as a present from his then friend and now girlfriend.

She got a septum, which Kit had a lot to tell Tessa about. (It takes him weeks to realize he's crushing. Tessa stares into the camera like she's in The Office all the while.)

He gets both his lobes pierced, a double helix and a daith in one ear and a tragus and conch in the other, because he's a Herondale. Go big or go home!!

(Thank fuck for iratzes because Kit should've really, really gone home. Tessa is disappointed but not surprised in the least. Jem is honestly not even disappointed; he'd expected this.)

On the same vein:

Kit paints his nails.

Usually, he goes for dark colors, like blacks, purples and blues.

Occasionally, he goes for more colorful stuff, especially when Mina suggests it.

Funnily enough, the polish is almost always chipped, despite Tessa painting them for him weekly.

(He bites and peels at them, or ruins them during training, picks at them when he isn't twisting and turning at his ring. Either way, they're chipped more often than not.)

(It's a quirk she's very, very fond of.)

(Especially because it reminds her of Lucie, with her ink-stained fingertips, and James, with the ring he never left alone. The ring that hadn't belonged to him for a time, given away to the only person to hold his heart in its totality aside from Cordelia, before it did belong to him once again, a melancholy reminder, and then it belonged to her.)

(It's comforting to see the children she lost live on in the children she gained.)

#kit herondale #ash morgenstern #kit and ash #morgendale #never thought I'd see the day #but hey #it's not my fault they'd make for such an interesting dynamic #I have lots of parabatai thoughts here I really do #anyway #tessa gray #jem carstairs #mina carstairs #dru blackthorn #tlh gang #i talk enough about Alastair to tag him #alastair carstairs #tda #twp #the wicked powers #shadowhunters #tsc

[ziorite]

herongraystairs and a true nephilim lore analysis

So I’m reading the infernal devices again, y’know, as one does, and I’m getting all emotional and sad because will, jem, and tessa!! They were a tragedy not because they never got to love each other, but because they did get to be together. They were just separated from a part of themselves every time. that really just shatters me every time I read about wessa in tlh, or jessa in tda/twp content. And so I got to thinking.

what were the obstacles that stopped the three of them from being together? (barring societal expectations about heterosexual monogamy being the norm, and the three of them having inevitable hangups about being a Thing) i came up with three main things: Will and Jem were parabatai, Jem’s addiction, and Will’s curse. Now, the curse sort of resolved itself, so that leaves us the parabatai bond and the addiction.

and so I was heeing and hawing over the topic while in the shower, and then I very belatedly remembered just how Jem was cured in city of heavenly fire. (It’s been a while since I read tmi and the details are a bit fuzzy 😅) He got stabbed with glorious and the yin fen got burnt out of him! So, all we have to do is find a way to access heavenly fire in 1800s London and we’re golden.

here’s where my hopefully-a-stroke-of-genius-probably-just-lack-of-proper-nutrition brainwave comes into play. When we learned about the parabatai curse in the dark artifices, what happened to Emma and Julian and the end of qoaad? THEY BURNED WITH HEAVENLY FIRE. now, I wouldn’t just copy that plot line and have both Will and Jem both turn into twenty feet tall flaming hot Cheetos, because that’s boring. So I dug into what lore I could find with a lazy Google search and a five minute session of shuffling through my copy of qoaad, and apparently, true nephilim, (the aforementioned fiery giants if you didn’t know), were actually induced to defeat more powerful demons, though most died afterwards. Those who didn’t were grounded by parabatai, so they could return to their earthly form. So now, if we can get Jem to turn into a true nephilim, we can use Will to ground him, bring him back, and that’s the addiction solved! (I might have the fire burn out the parabatai bond like it did for jemma, so that’s be two birds with one stone— can’t have Jem and Will turning into giants again)

and here’s where things get a little hand-wavey, and I start to speculate, so definitely don’t take any of this as canon, though it isn’t technically canon divergent? Since they didn’t tell us much about how the ancient shadowhunters actually went about turning their buddies into demon killing infernos, I started to theorize. And then during my reread of city of bones, I come across clary’s introduction to seraph blades. As jace says, you don’t name a blade Raziel. Ever. why? They don’t really know. Y’know what else most, if not all, shadowhunters also didn’t really know? Why parabatai weren’t allowed to fall in love— it just wasn’t done. So logically, I could draw the conclusion that both reasons were unknown because they had both been covered up by the clave of long ago in the same way. Wait, zio, why are you going on about the curse and seraph blades? However could they be connected? I hear your chirpy voices in my ear.

because, my friends. what if. What if the Clave banned the naming of a seraph blade Raziel, because doing so would make you a true Nephilim? We know that they banned parabatai from falling in love because true nephilim were too powerful and dangerous, so it makes sense that the ”regular” method of turning shadowhunters into true nephilim would be covered up as well.

and thus, we have it. According to this funky little theory of mine, if Jem was to name a seraph blade Raziel, turn into a true Nephilim, and then return back to his body, both the addiction and the parabatai bond would be burned away and there you have it!! the possibility of herongraystairs in the nineteenth century without disregarding any significant canon lore!

I’ve been fiddling with this, and I’d like to turn it into a fic, but I still haven’t worked out a truly coherent plot beyond what I’ve slapped together here, and I kind of wanted to gauge interest, so please let me know what you guys think. If you see any holes or flaws in my thinking, please point them out— I’m always up to working my brain over, and I found it quite satisfying to come up with this little analysis !!

#i'll probably post more about this so here's the au tag i'll be using #true nephilim au #tsc meta #Shadowhunters #shadowhunters meta #the shadowhunter chronicles #the infernal devices #tid #will herondale #will x jem #heronstairs #jem carstairs #james carstairs #tessa gray #herongraystairs #nephilim #true nephilim #tsc lore #lore #meta #the flame inside the lamp

[bookishjules]

A Herongraystairs Lens on "This Love" by Taylor Swift

Clear blue water

Starting this in the same way Clockwork Angel starts, with Tessa quite literally coming in on the water at the beginning. While it's not discussed as directly, Jem also would have arrived in London, and thereby in Will's life, via water. And, of course, I can't think "clear blue water" and not think about Will's eyes.

High tide came and brought you in

The idea of high tide bringing them in also implies a certain amount of fate--circumstances left all three of them with the London Institute and each other as the only place they could go, and they were all left there, clinging to each other as the tide rolled back out

And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will

it's the unending love they have for one another, the way they could be sustained on this trio alone. I also love that "I will" is what you would say when you swear an oath, like getting married or becoming parabatai

Skies grew darker

Jem got sicker, Will withdrew back into himself time and again, honestly just the whole plot of tid..

Currents swept you out again

This line could be Tessa or Will when Will found out Jem proposed, Jem or Will when Tessa was kidnapped, or Will or Tessa OR Jem when Jem "died"

And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone

I can't listen to this line without crying. The heartbreak surrounding Jem's "death" and the decades spent without being able to interact with JEM properly should be enough, but then we also have Will's actual death and the way that pain remains even after decades, and will resurface again and again in Tessa's heart forever

In silent screams

In wildest dreams

I never dreamed of this

The most obvious interpretation here is from Will's pov: he never dreamed he could have a friend, but Jem was dying anyway; he never dreamed he could find love because of his curse, but he did, though practically at the cost of his parabatai. That being said, we can also look at this from Jem's pov: he never dreamed he would be addicted to a killing drug, never dreamed he could fall in love and marry despite that, never dreamed he would give up his mortality for the two people he holds closest. And then we can see from Tessa's pov: she never dreamed Will would come back and bare his heart only hours after she'd agreed to marry Jem, never dreamed she'd lose Jem before getting to marry him, never dreamed that she'd get him back when all was said and done

This love is good

This love is bad

I think they all would have had these opposing thoughts at some point. We see Will constantly having to remind himself that not only his love is bad, but that Tessa's and Jem's love toward him is bad as well, despite how very good and pure both of those loves are. We also see Tessa constantly warring between whether Will, and her love for him, is good; I think there was also a voice in her head, as she slept with Will for the first time, that tried to convince her that what she was doing was bad because of the circumstances surrounding Jem. The way Jem felt selfish for wanting Tessa to marry him also has a place here, I think

This love is alive back from the dead

This is what it felt like when Jem arrived, when Will could finally let himself be loved by someone. It's what it felt like when Will found out he was never cursed and all the love he was so fearful of became what he rushed toward. It's what it felt like when Jem ceased being Brother Zachariah, when he could feel the full range of emotions again, when he could love Tessa again. It's what it felt like when Tessa saw Jem, her Jem, standing on Blackfriars Bridge for the first time in over a century

These hands had to let it go free, and

Jem's hands had to release his love to allow Will and Tessa's to snap together like magnets that Jem had been unknowingly holding apart. Will's hands had to release his love for Tessa, both while he was cursed, and then again when he found out about her and Jem, because he loved his parabatai just as much. Both Jem and Will had to release their love for one another in the way they lost their parabatai bond, lost that piece of their relationship that was so very sacred. Tessa had to release her love for Jem when he became a silent brother, and she had to let Will, her love for so many years, go, let him pass on.

This love came back to me,

Tessa came back to Will, forgiving him, understanding him, even after he had tried so hard to push him away. Jem came back, seemingly from the dead, to Will and Tessa, and then he came back in full for Tessa after the Dark War, after she'd separated herself from her love for him for so long.

Tossing, turning

aka every night they thought too much about being apart from one another, after Jem became Zachariah, after Will died

Struggled through the night with someone new

I do think that it must have been hard for Tessa both times she "spent the night with someone new"--both in Clockwork Princess and in After the Bridge--because of thoughts of losing Jem or memories of being intimate with Will, respectively. If we think of it in a less sexual way, there would always be nights tainted by memories, by the longing for more time, nights that Will and Tessa struggled through together, and nights that Jem and Tessa struggle through together now

Lantern, burning

Flickered in my mind for only you

The idea of a lantern in the window like a lighthouse drawing ships in from the storm, of keeping that light burning even when all hope seems futile.. I think of Will and Tessa keeping a light on for Jem, reminding him that he's always welcome, that this is home. I think of the metaphorical lanterns Jem and Tessa kept for each other--that little flame of home and love that could never be doused. I think of Jem and Tessa keeping a light on for Will, for his memory, as a symbol that he will always be with them

But you were still gone, gone, gone

gone like Tessa when Mortmain took her. Gone like the bond Will felt snap between him and Jem. Gone like Will, who is truly still gone and gone

In losing grip

On sinking ships

You showed up just in time

This makes me especially emotional for Jem, who had just lost his family, who had been reduced to nothing more than a demon's play thing and would be reeling from the repercussions his whole life, arriving in London, and feeling like he could have a home and a family again in Will. The same goes for Will, meeting Jem when he might have thought all hope was lost. We also see this with Will showing up for Tessa when he came to rescue her, both times, or Jem and Tessa showing up for Will when he was doped up from drugs. I could go on (and on, on and on)

This love left a permanent mark

Very physically, the parabatai rune is a permanent mark, and even after it faded, there was a scar there forever. Aside from that, the length of time we see these three love each other for, even when they're gone or out of reach, is all the evidence we need for the permanence of this love.

This love is glowing in the dark

Their love is so strong and bright and pure, and the one thing they can always rely on. (re: the image of the lantern mentioned above)

Your kiss, my cheek

I watched you leave

Your smile, my ghost

I fell to my knees

I can think of a million scenarios that fit these lyrics and make me emotional: Jem watching Will leave to save Tessa and then becoming a silent brother and feeling the ghost of his love whenever he sees either of them; Will leaving the land of the living, his return as a ghost at Jem and Tessa's wedding; Tessa and Jem having to say goodbye year after year and then finally Tessa sees him smile, sees his eyes open, and it's the ghost of her love she's held onto so long finally coming alive again.

When you're young, you just run

Will ran from love, Jem ran from death, Tessa ran from her family (80 something is young for warlocks, okay?)

But you come back to what you need

Will came back to Tessa and Jem to love them with the full breadth of his heart. Jem came back to mortality, to a place where love is precious and sincere. Tessa came back to family, she married again, had another child, even when it was too hard to watch her first children grow old.

#in honor of this love tv being released!! #the next in my series of taylor swift ship song lyric analyses hehe #herongraystairs #will herondale #tessa gray #jem carstairs #tsc #tid #the infernal devices #taylor swift #this love tv #lyrics #Spotify #lyric analysis