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arson-09 · 21 days

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I dont talk much about minecraft youtuber drama here but god quackity is pissing me off with his shenanigans.

In case you missed it admins for quackitys minecraft server (specifically an admin named lea) came forth claiming that the admins were underpaid if paid, were working horrible hours, and generally treated like shit. This is of course paraphrasing but this is worker exploitation and disgusting.

Quackity then did a little stream saying he was “unaware” of anything wrong happening behind the scenes. Which is interesting considering this is his “passion project” and the studio is under his name and hes the one who hired everyone.

Then recently Lea (i apologize if im spelling her name wrong she is french if i recall) did an interview saying that quackity was basically lying, the ndas he had the admins signed were fake, and reiterated the horrible working conditions and the fact he knew everything.

Then today he streamed again saying he was stepping back because of the hate and threats we was receiving which of course is never okay but this is the first time he’s ever spoken on that subject (which is interesting as his twt fandom is known for being incredibly hateful and threatening people) and he was stepping back from the server. Again this is a simplified version, just hitting the major points of everything.

this is not accountability, this is him making someone else fix what hes done. He wont even openly admit to everything but his silence shows everything. What he has done to his workers is horrible and incredibly wrong but the majority of his fans dont care and are upset at dream stans of all people for “making him step back” (dream stans havent even been the main group doing this shit btw. they are just the group pointing out the hypocrisy the most as dream fans have received copious amounts of hate from qsmpers for the fact they like dream. Let it be clear that the allegations against dream have been proven false and as of me writing this post he has not done anything genuinely bad. like exploiting his workers)

Regardless of who you stan or hate, you have to realize that what quackity has done with his server and the admins is wrong and he should take accountability and discuss what hes done wrong. hes was/is a law student for heavens sake. This is only the tip of the iceberg of questionable things quackity has done (for example his merch company is extremely shady. there is very little information available about it online, people have trouble with shipping and receiving their orders, merch quality, and much more) and it saddens me that while the mcyt community preaches accountability and recognizing when a cc has done wrong, they fail to do it 99% of the time. I dont hate quackity, and i dont want him to get doxxed and receive death threats, but i need him to be transparent. To admit to his mistakes and be honest and actually change shit. Because right now him stepping back isnt fixing anything, its not helping the people who have been hurt by his actions. Im also really sad that the qsmp has been riddled with these mistakes as theres so much potential with it. It was the first bilingual minecraft server then multilingual. it united so many different parts of the minecraft community but it is not stable, its not going to last at this rate and thats so sad. Qsmp seems to just be a money maker for its creators, every part of it meticulous planned to see what will bring in the most views (as well as its the first server i have personally seen have a merch store? i wonder if the admins that play the characters are getting any of that money…)

Anyway, i just wanted to say my piece on it after ive been apart of the minecraft youtuber fan community for a long time and have seen a lot of shit :/ just a psa if your first reaction to this post is to get all upset in my comments i will block you. I do however appreciate genuine comments on the situation, as a fan or not of quackity. Worker exploitation is never okay but most of everything else is just how i see the situation.

(just wanted to add a quick edit cause i got a good anon but accidentally deleted it🧍🏻)

I am not making fun or trying to make the fact quackity is getting harassed less important. Doxxing and threats are never okay, and even if i dislike him i dont wish that on him. I am only disappointed that it took to this point for him to say something. Of course he couldve been planning something but he never explicitly said so so lots of people, me included, weren’t sure if he was going to ignore it as he does have a track record of not saying anything unless forced. As well as hes never condemned his fans for the fandoms habit of doxxing and harassment. Ofc Q cant control his fandom, but openly saying “hey stop doing that. i dont want yall to do that” would be nice. I thankfully have never experienced it but i had twt moots who got doxxed by qsmp fans and thats why i said i wish he had said something earlier. But i am not trying to take away how severe the fact hes getting doxxed is. Just wanted to make that clear👍🏻 Dont fucking dox or harass people, be critical but dont be horrible people.

#mcyt #mcyt thoughts #litterally just yapping cause im tired of ccs not acknowledging their actions 🧍🏻#Tumblr mcyt communitys in general are better than twt #but just mcyt. book fandoms are wack here #Again be normal or i will block you🧍🏻#qsmp discourse #qsmp discussion

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kyurizeu · 9 months

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#18 - I missed you. (Im)possibly fate

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Recent - masterlist - next

Warnings: cursing, awkwardness, boring ass convos, bad grammar

Word count: 1,2k

A/n: hello everyone! I’m trying to come back to tumblr tho it really hard because i have no ideas for stories. So help is very much appreciated! I havent proofread this (oops)

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The week had passed quicker than expected. You hadn’t had any energy or motivation the whole week because your biggest energy source wasn’t there. You were way too scared to go talk to Jungwon as a result of possibly irritating him again, so you decided it would be best if he just thought about it alone. Although it did pass your mind to go talk to him and make him feel bad about being distant, you knew it was unfair; you were in the same situation after all. You felt like he was mad because for the whole week he didn’t send a single message, not even a "gm" or gn," so you were anxious about seeing him again, especially with the same conversation. It would’ve been smarter to text him and get all of the worries out of the way, but before you knew it, it was Thursday morning, and you had to talk the whole thing over again.

Just like your everyday routine, you got ready and left the dorm with your members. The day's schedule was filled with a couple meetings, scheduling, and promotions, and later in the evening, the most important thing was an interview with Jungwon about the song.

You sighed and sat down in the meeting room. You were the first one there, which was definitely not fun. Whoever is the first person to be in the meeting room has to wait for everyone to come separately and stay quiet and awkward when there's only one or two just sitting. So you took out your phone and scrolled on it, afraid to look up when someone entered the meeting room. "Good morning, yn," said Jungwon. You looked up at him, trying to read his facial expression to match his feelings. Oh, hello, Winnie," it was so awkward. You two hadn’t spoken in a week and were a couple; the room atmosphere was so uncomfortable. Should you even call him "babe" anymore, or does he want to break up? You started to fidget with your fingers while overthinking everything until your thoughts were interrupted by him again. "look umh… Things have been a little strange between us the past week, but I just want you to know that I’m not mad or anything." He sat down across the table. "I didn’t text you because I tried to give you space. I realised that it could seem like I’m trying to pressure you to make up your mind." "I did that too." It was still strangely awkward, but you just needed to say something. "Jungwon?" He looked back up at you from his phone. "I missed you so much." Your lips formed a straight line. Jungwon got up and gave you a warm hug, and without a word, you felt so much more comfortable. "I missed you too, sweetie." Just then the meeting room doors opened and more people came in. Jungwon didn’t sit back on his original chair, but now next to you. The meeting started about 3 minutes later.

Okay, so today we have arrangements. We need to plan the meetings, interviews, promotional activities, and the rest of the week so they fit into both Jungwon’s and Yn’s schedules. But first we have the big question. Jungwon and Yn wanted to take it into consideration to let them make their relationship public. What do we do?" Your manager started

Well, um, me and Jungwon took some time thinking about our opinions on it separately." You stated this, and Jungwon nodded next to you.

Okay, so what do you two think?"

"I was thinking about pros and cons for both scenarios. I came to the conclusion that, in my opinion, It’d be better if we went public."

Jungwon finally told me which decision he ended up with.

"Don’t you think that it’s more on the bad side to go public, though? The public is spreading rumours and isn’t making things easy for either of you." His manager spoke up.

"Of course the fact that the public is suspicious and spreading rumours about us isn’t good and would hurt our case, but they have in fact spread them for a while now, meaning that they have become a little normalised, which takes away the problem, plus my fans haven’t sent anything weird to live comments or anything like that, unlike when the rumours started a little over a week ago."

You stared as Jungwon defended his decision, and you couldn’t help but admire the way he was explaining everything. His hands waving in the air made cute gestures, and his brows moved up and down, making him look more convincing. His dimple popped up on his cheek at times when he was talking, and your mind told you to boop it with your finger, but then you heard your name being called out.

O-oh, yes, what?"

"Which choice do you find more smart?"

Oh, yes, well.. I thought about how our future in our careers would go in both directions, and I have to admit that our careers would suffer a little from going public, but then I thought about our future together, which has nothing to do with our careers. I realise that we can survive a little damage, no matter if it’s with our careers or not, or even a lot of damage, when we have each other. I assume also Jungwon’s but especially my career would get a little damage from either situation since being away from Jungwon would take a lot of energy and motivation from me. I learned that this week. I would be able to get through rumours, hate, scandals, and god knows what else if I had Jungwon by my side. So going public Is definitely my choice."

You nodded at your manager after letting your thoughts out, and he gave a quick glance at Jungwon, as did you. He was smiling cutely, and he looked back at you. "Well.. i guess if we can plan the rest of the week in this meeting, i guess that’s what we will do, unless our plans clash with going public. See, we haven’t planned anything where you two would have the opportunity to announce it."

"Well, we don’t have to do some big splashy reveal. We could just go live and tell everyone, or maybe walk hand in hand somewhere and let the news spread."

Ooh, does that mean I can post the cute picture I have of myself in your hoodie?" You turned to your boyfriend, who chuckled in response. "Not the best way to announce this," he said, patting your head, and you fake pouted. "Let’s discuss the reveal when you get better ideas; we need to do a lot more."

And so the meeting ended happily, just as you wanted it to. Jungwon and you walked out of the room, and he pulled you into a big hug again. "The explanation why you wanted to go public was so cute. God, I really do love you," you smirked, looking up at him while you were squished between his arms and chest. He gave you a quick peck, and you two had to leave to do your own work for the day.

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Taglist:

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#enhypen fanfiction #enhypen smut #jungwon #jungwon smut #kyurizeu #jungwon hard thoughts #kpop smut #enhypen fluff #enha fluff #enha smau #Enhypen smau #enhypen au #enha au

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aita-blorbos · 7 months

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AITA for just doing what makes me happy?

Okay so like, recently i (adultM) met up with my ex (adultM) after we hadn’t talked for like, a while. the last time we had spoken it hadnt been very good. we kinda left off in a bad place and he wanted to reconnect and make up and stuff, which was cool and I was totally down for! On a completely unrelated note, i have recently made a list of people that i want to kill at least once (you can kill people like, a bunch of times before they really die and even then they can be brought back, plus you can get more lives by killing other people so its really not a big deal IMO) and he’s on the list because he ignored me one time. i told him about it as a kind of warning so it wouldn’t be a surprise when i did end up killing him (which i was not planning to do during our meetup btw), which was really nice of me honestly, but he was upset about it, which was like, fair i guess, but it’s literally not really even about him because i have so many other people on that list. Some of them havent even done anything wrong, i just kinda wanna kill people. like it’s literally just a hobby of mine. he said that it was really messed up that i kill people for fun, but like, some of his friends have literally killed me multiple times so i dont see how its any different just because they were motivated by revenge or to get more hearts/lives. they were still killing someone for the sake of their own satisfaction. plus i dont really care if its messed up, i’m having fun and if other people have a problem with it then they can kill me themselves and get their hearts back. i don’t even have that many, like, i’m not particularly strong and ive lost nearly as many battles as ive won. It’s not like im a tyrant terrorizing those weaker than me or anything (which by the way is something that he knows lots about, he hasn’t exactly always been a saint), im literally just having fun, and to be honest i’m happier than ive ever been! but he kept talking about how ive ‘changed’ and how i ‘used to be happy’, which by the way is literally not true. the ‘me’ that he used to know was literally a paranoid wreck who couldnt go five minutes without questioning every single decision hed ever made. like yeah i was happy sometimes and don’t get me wrong i did love him and our other boyfriend a lot, but overall that was not a happy time for me. anyway then he got his friends to jump me and i died which was honestly really funny and awesome but also kinda makes him a hypocrite. like idk i just feel like he’s trying to claim some kind of moral high ground when literally everyone here sucks. So yeah AITA?

edit: thanks for all the responses weighing in on my situation! unfortunately i got bored waiting for people to respond and in the meantime i put a bomb inside of his house. so uh sorry to everyone who was telling me to be a better person

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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ilexdiapason · 1 year

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im having life series thoughts hiiii hi

okay so to ME everyone remembers other servers that they were in but there's a bit of a disconnect. like they remember what Happened but not the feelings or thoughts associated w it. like you can Assume the feelings & thoughts that happened based on. you know. tone. what you were doing . whatever whatever whatever.

and its important to m that they just keep going back because it does feel like it was that bad. like its alll the drama and a LOT less of the trauma and they just. "that might have been fun. lets do it again" likeeee it doesnt screw up their relationships because SURE that was unfair but i dont feel the leftover anger from when it happened !! i get that it was unfair in the same way that i get that the character in my favourite tv show got cheated. its fiiiiine. n then they go back & have the worst time of their lives & then leave again like oh that was fun we should do that again. to me

this is so realness its like when you havent spoken to someone you didnt like or who was toxic to you in a while and you go oh i dont think they were that bad. and then you see them again and oh nope they are they definitely are

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polyamorouspunk · 2 years

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crush stuff !! very slight rant and then me gushing

we havent talked im a week and im going rabid and i dont want to text him Again for a reply but :((( AND and i dont even know if he likes women, or whatever gender i am (transmasc bigender ?) but lets be real everyone percieves me as a woman so . i know he likes men but otherwise idk and how do i Tell without just straight up asking ??

but anyways onto the sap shit :

my crush (he/they) made me come to the embarassing realization that my type is Nice People. like just give me someone warm and sunshiney with a sweet smile and i will be done for, doesnt matter if its more exciteable golden retriever energy or more soft and quiet, if they are extra nice then im down horrendous

with Them i was done for the moment they spoke bc holy shit that Voice it was the softest kindest fucking voice i have ever god damn heard and in our first 2 min convo they somehow managed to be The most considerate person ive ever spoken to and . ugh

also he offered to shave my hair for me once and if that isnt any punks dream idk what is 😔😔😔

“My type is nice people” well damn there goes me /s

Man not hearing from someone for a week would drive me crazy if I had a crush on them in an FP way. I would have to send a meme or something.

I feel that with the “everyone perceives me as Woman™️ anyway”. I mean I AM wearing a wlw shirt today so I can’t be like “why don’t people perceive me as a guy? I’m wearing a lesbian shirt :(” BUT yeah what is gender? What is plurality? What is singularity? Where do “I” end and “someone else” begins? I don’t know, so I just Don’t Talk About It With People Irl! If you like women cool we can date. You can perceive me as woman it’s fine. Because I would feel insincere being like “lol nooo gay guy I’m totally a guy like once in a while not really lol”. How do you ask without outright asking? Ask about a character or actress or something? Be like “omg isn’t uuuh Taylor Swift (?) sooo pretty man girls am I right haha-” ? Maybe ? I feel comfortable when guys I’m dating are at least a little bisexual so I can feel okay about being gender funky.

You should let him shave your hair for you, people doing your hair for you is so intimate. I mean like in a professional setting less so but I grew up with someone who was like my sister dying my hair for me and it was just two teenage girls (kinda) sitting in a bathroom listening to pop punk and talking about boys with piercings and life shit and like it was great. And then having anyone I love touch my hair makes me melt for real.

Don’t be embarrassed for having a “type”/it being “nice people”. I think that sounds really heal to y and good compared to me getting the bad boy of my dreams I always wanted as a kid and obviously carrying that drama that comes with having a “bad boy”. Good to try, get a little taste of, just not good to keep. Do it while your young and get it out of your system and all that in my opinion. Not saying I won’t go back to someone like that while I’m still young but when I’m older I hope I have people who are dependable.

Best of luck to you, it sounds amazing (minus not hearing from him/them).

#punk gets mail

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seilon · 2 years

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i know i havent been checking my messages for like two weeks. dont ask me why i dont fucking know either dude. i really dont know whats wrong with me i really dont know why im like this. believe me if you think you're the only one ive ghosted recently you're not. its everyone. literally everyone. no reason whatsoever. its very easy to do when you literally have no friends that see you in real life ever and havent seen anyone more or less since december of 2021. so like. yeah. whats anyone gonna do? no ones going to come to my fucking door to see if im okay or just to break into my isolated nightmare box. no one has an interest in doing that. ive had to plead to get anyone to consider seeing me and theres really no point and its not their fault either because it is a major inconvenience because i am so so so far from anyone and its so so so much easier to just. not try to get anyone to do anything. its so much easier to exist in stasis even if it kills me. like i said no one will do anything about it. nothing will stop me from slowly destroying myself. i wont stop me either. i hate every task i have to complete and everything in my life that could break my constant nothingness despite the fact that i hate my constant nothingness at the same time. there's no way to win and theres no way out and theres no point to anything. really seriously no point. the further removed i get from everyone and everything the easier it is to fade away completely if i so choose. im basically there already. i wish i'd do something drastic to myself to make the world feel real again and to make my life feel like it has any kind of real odds to it and a selfish disgusting part of me wishes i would because of the oh so common reasoning of getting people to treat me like i have any importance instead of me always having to beg pathetically for anyone's attention in real life. i exist almost solely in my own head these days. im only able to handle fiction and i bury myself so deep in it that maybe, hopefully i can forget my life as a real person, and i can feel things even if they're for stupid imaginary reasons. its been like this for a long time but its to an extreme right now. i dont want to remember who or where i am. i dont want to be reminded i exist and the world exists around me. i dont remember what its like to have friends in my everyday life that i dont have to worry about disappointing or annoying or embarrassing. its been so long. much longer than just the time since ive moved. its been at least a few years. it seems nice, thinking back on past experiences, at different times in my life. but unfortunately it doesnt seem like i was built to maintain friendships, let alone to make them. i'm manufactured to fail or sabotage myself. i am built to be unlovable, regardless of who may like me on the internet, or like me on a shallow level otherwise. anything deeper than that has lead me to more pain and complication than if i didnt talk to anyone at all, so i guess it makes sense why i'd end up here.

my relationship is doomed and has been for a while now, and i cant make myself care that much anymore. he doesnt talk to me and i dont talk to him. he doesnt know what i do and i dont know what he's doing, other than that he has a life and people he cares about more than me on an everyday basis by a long shot. hes almost a stranger to me at this point. he wouldn't notice if i was fucking dead unless someone were to contact him about it however long after the fact. i know this because i havent spoken to him in days if not weeks and he couldnt care less. i am not a part of his life anymore and i cant help that. i've numbed myself to it for now. who knows what my mind will think of it on some other day but as it stands right now i dont know him and i cant push myself any longer to try and be a part of his life when he clearly does not care if i am or am not. he very easily can exist without me and has been doing so for quite some time. he has other people, i dont. that's just how it is. im not a good person to put faith into in a relationship in general, friendship or otherwise, because just look at me. ive ghosted everyone i know for like two weeks for no fucking reason and with no warning or explanation. i dont even know what the explanation is. i am fundamentally empty and with the bleakness of everything over the course of the last however many years i've given up hope that that emptiness will be filled in a more than superficial way. in a more than fleeting way. no one's going to do anything for me. there's no point. theres nothing in it for them. why would you go out of your way for a husk of a person who cant give you anything of value in return. whos not reliable or stable in any way shape or form. who cant function like a person no matter how many fucking antidepressants and stimulants and whatever the fuck else he takes. writing all of this i feel like a normal person would be crying. i feel like i would be crying at some point prior in my life. but i havent at all, nor have i felt any urge even close to doing so. i think that tells you how empty i am and how much i am resigned to whatever this is. i've wasted three years of my life rotting in silence and solitude, why think anything's going to change? and what's worth changing anyway? again, there's really nothing here to salvage. i wonder how much time i have left in me to just sit here and hate everything and dissociate and dissociate and dissociate because at this rate i doubt its much.

i'll go find something to distract myself with like i always do. spend my time on mundane tasks because they're reliable and take up space in my otherwise empty life. i doubt i will do anything productive that involves thought. i want to avoid everything more. i hate myself for it and i hate my life for it. i dont wish to die so much as i wish to not exist. they overlap of course but i feel the need to clarify that because its less about self loathing and more about the loathing of life as a whole, existence as a whole. it's not meant for me. i am not built to be sustainable. my head hurts.

#kibumblabs #long post #delete later #i absolutely will regret this and delete it later #at the moment though i just dont give a shit anymore #i can post whatever i want literally who fucking cares #negative

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irregulardiaryposts · 2 months

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20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

#not using the tagging system i did on other posts i dont think theyre ever likely to be useful lmao

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rzkwurm · 3 months

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ok since were apparently subposting now im just gonna say loud and clear that if ur a celebrity with a huge range of reach and influence and ur staying silent while a genocide is carried out then that makes u a shit person like it is incredible that i even have to say this. idk how little empathy people need to have to say inaction in the face of mass eradication is okay. id fucking bet youd feel mighty differently if it were you and your family and your country that was being violently erased while the people in the world who have the power to change things watch and do nothing. i know it hurts to admit ur faves arent perfect lil angels but the rose tinted glasses have got to come off at some point. the fact that people are looking for excuses for why imfluential people havent spoken up is beyond me. its also beyond me how yall treat someone who dares critisize ur faves. yall were fucking horrid to me today for no reason whatsoever bc i what? dared to doubt my blind loyalty to people who dont give a shit? yall couldve been supportive and empathetic to someones struggle with this, do yall think its fun for me to lose my primary source of comfort and motivation? for people who love going on and on about how great this fandom is yall really showed a huge lack of empathy today.

#the fact ur more offended about me critisizing ur faves than about whats happening in palestine speaks volumes.

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namuneulbo · 10 months

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week eighty-six

i was so busy on sunday so i couldnt post in time. sorry!! ill write and post this now at 1 am on monday. it was a good sunday though, cute person at the till but i got so flustered i forgot to look at their last name when i ided them so i just know his first name and middle name loool. went to the bar after work w c, l and s. we then went for food and ate in the school cafeteria. a cute security guard came after a while and asking for us to show our keys to prove we could be there lol.

ive been listening to loooots of saosin. im so in love w their stuff. so the sotw is obvious hehe.

okay now ill go through the week in order lol.

monday i dont really remember. just work.

i had a shorter shift on tuesday, only four hours! afterwards i met up w e and e and we walked around town and then had some food and then went to some shops. it was fun and time went by so fast.

on wednesday i thought id have to rawdog the music quiz and just go alone and hope id find someone ik there to play w BUT c came home just in time so she joined me along w d, e and s. s left before the results and d and e left right after the results. we did HORRIBLY!!! we came like,, 9th ??? out of 14 probably?

s joined us afterwards and m also joined in after a bit. i thought it was a lot of fun but apparently ive now gotten the news that s is... a bit weird. idk, i always thought my friends were kind of,,, making him seem worse than he is but ig im starting to understand what they find so odd ab him and back on wednesday i still enjoyed his company. after talking for a while, m left to go to another table and c and i were left w s. h joined us at one point and omg i was so excited ab it, i think hes so cool and cute and sweet and i kind of fangirled internally. like truly its not like a crush or anything, hes just so sweet and funny so i was so excited to talk to him. THEN..... D JOINED??? idk if ive talked ab him too much on here but basically hes just this bassist dude whos so fucking cool to me and ive never spoken to him and before this i hadnt even sat at the same table as him or stood within the same circle as him. ig this experience was quite humbling though lol i think i made him up to be more talkative and louder than he actually is. nothing bad ab that i just realized ive probably made him way cooler in my mind than he is irl. hes just human lol. hes still cool to me though but i need to mention that its funny that c had literally said to me like “girl, ur hyping him up way too much. hes just a man.” and now i was indeed proved right. he is just a guy lol. its kind of become an inside joke by now though and i like that ive created that correlation to him now so itll always be in the back of esp c and ls minds. i did fangirl a lot when he sat down at our table out of nowhere though and it was so funny bc c kept giving me a look.

d left quite quickly to go to talk to others and after a while me, c, h and ss convo turned into a film bro convo bc apparently all three of them r film bros and i havent seen like,, any movies so they started listing movies from every era and of every genre that i had to watch and it was so funny. after they had been listing stuff for a good 15 minutes they finally said dead poets society and i could finally be like “IVE SEEN THAT ONE”. i then watched interstellar the next day... no reason why i specifically watched that one...

after watching interstellar on thursday, i got so inspired to go learn cornfield chase on piano so i ran to school at 12 am but obviously it was closed. i knew it would be but sometimes the gates might still be open or something so there r loopholes but yeah, not this time. i checked every door lol. i still havent gone to practice it. i practiced a little bit at home on the keyboard but it sounds so bad and its so hard to play, mainly ergonomically.

friday! played sims all day and then went for a drink w t. we then went for a walk and then got some food to end the evening. i love them sm <3

saturday was work again but it was a five hour shift that went by pretty fast and it was such a weird shift lol. theres this guy that comes in every now and then and weve always had this little tension between us, like a pretty obvious romantic tension. i remember all the times hes been at the till while i was working. one time he was also just in the store while i was fixing some shelves, i think i was specifically organizing cat food? anyways, first time, i actually cant remember fully if it was him but im pretty sure?? idk, like i said, i get flustered when i see pretty ppl so i just remember a BIG tension and his hand shaking a bit when holding his card to the card reader. second time he bought cigarettes and i ided him and TURNS OUT ITS A GUY I WENT TO ELEMENTARY W LOLLLL. hes two years older than me and all i remember of him is that he used to show me gore on the computer at the after school thingy we were at. honestly shaped me a lot as a child probably. i wonder if he remembers me from that as well. anyways. he bought food some other time too and i remember just really feeling the tension still. like its sm fun??? like how u can feel that we both find each other so attractive yet no one says anything apart from just smiling and doing like a specific type of eye contact and just like idk... speaking in a certain tone ig??? its sm fun. hes so hotttttt. anyways on saturday he came in twice, once w his friend (who i also know and hes not a great guy sooooooo) and that time his friend was just buying cigarettes but he stayed away for some reason and like fully turned his back to me lol idk what that was ab but then after an hour or so he came in alone to buy some quick meal and the tension was back. i think he mightve genuinely just avoided me the first time bc he didnt want his friend to know??? or am i being totally delusional rn?

later that shift d shows up. THE d. we were both as surpised lol i just looked up from my phone when i heard someone start piling up stuff on the conveyor belt and then i meet eyes w him and his eyes widen just as much as mine and hes like “hi!” and im like “hi!”. we dont say anything else but it was just so funny and i keep smiling lol. hes so iconic to me. maybe a little hot too but like mostly iconic. i think. he is QUITE hot though... like to be fucking fair....

THEN omg. this was so fucking funny and i laughed ab it for the rest of my shift. this guy came in to buy alcohol and he was young so he showed id before i even got to asking him for it and his name is literally the same as w, my crush. FIRST AND LAST NAME WERE THE SAME??? what a fucking coincidence??????? it was so funny and i had to keep myself from bursting out in laughter in front of him it was so fucking weird. i didnt think w had THAT common of a name. like yeah first name sure, one of the more common ones for his age but like first and last name??? woah.

anyways, thats a fucking wrap.

sotw: saosin - racing toward a red light

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo

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skatetragedy · 1 year

Text

3/12/22

lately therapy has been pretty intense, i feel like i’ve had a couple therapists before that mostly only touched on surface level trauma. my new therapist is pretty intense, shes very sweet but sometimes i genuinely feel like my brain can’t process whats happening because it’s not use to digging as deep as she wants me to. It’s a bit humbling, hearing her consensus on why i act the way i act, its very vulnerable and embarrassing. i want to be better tho, i want my brain to get as deep as it can so i can be the healthy. in other news updates on some relationships :

athena and i have been talking more, and i think its good. nick really clouded me on many relationships because i was just too embarrassed to admit and talk about it to some friends that knew the extent of how he treated me and how we worked together. i missed her and i dont want a man to make me feel like i cant talk to my friends ever again. shes still with kayla, which is good i believe shes very calm and collected with her and i think shes been needing stability like this for a while.

ive seen nathalie a couple times recently, shes been talking to ali again which is disappointing but as ive said, i know how it feels. nathalie and i are always good, theres really nothing that will keep us apart or anything like that. we locked in forever nothing to really say about it.

sal and i are good as well. I do feel a bit of sadness when i think of putting sal thru what i put him thru with nick. i feel embarrassed and like a bad friend, but i dont understand why i couldnt help it. i wouldnt talk to him about it because i didnt want to put him in the position of listening to how his friend is with me and vice versa. eve though nick would never stop complaining but it was two sided when it came to complaints. i would just never say anything. i feel guilty and i dont know how to express it or make up for it. ill try my best.

nick and i havent spoken. he texted me to wish me well with therapy/work/school and i didnt respond at the moment. i called him one night to express i couldnt/didnt want to be friends with him. i dont think its okay to be friends with an ex let alone one that got you pregnant. he told me i could get over the pregnancy but its just not that easy, i was in n out of the ER, received chemo therapy, and had to be locked in my room for two weeks. it was mentally and physically taxing. he really has no emotion or regard to how i could feel, and i dont understand why i hadnt realized that sooner. i hope he gets the help he needs and that things go well for him, with me excluded from his life. he asked why we couldnt be friends and i gave him a list of reasons, he gave me solutions, then i said i had been seeing someone new and im trying to go my seperate ways, he said “oh so you only called to tell me youre seeing someone new i dont want to hear that” why ask for reasons, give solutions and only fixate on one reason you dont like. i hope he matures, he cant stay alone for very long and his toxic cycle he learned from katie will just continue.

i have a new friend, named mark. hes very attractive, funny, and sweet. we only recently started becoming a bit romantically involved. i had liked him from a distance when i first met him and i didnt understand why. i was talking to n*ck at the time and he was all rocky over the fact sal andi had become friends again and we were hanging out regularly. i believe i met mark on halloween, with a group of others with us. we didnt talk much, i just offered him poppers and he thanked me. end of story for halloween. i pursued him, embarrassingly enough not much came of it, until recently as im used to men being horny and ready to fuck whenever i say hello. i guess thats nice though, we went on a first date to a couple different bars and i had a great time, many embarrassing things happened around him and hes still stuck it through so im hoping that means something good. our first date was refreshing for me, he was gentleman and very fun to be around. aesthetically we are very different people, but mentally very in sync with anything we say or want to do, which was a little scary at first. i do like him, he stayed the night yesterday for the first time and i havent felt someone that comfortable and happy around someone for a long time. we spent all morning giggling and being silly in bed and i dont remember the last time i did that with someone without having sex. its refreshing that everything isnt about having sex at the moment, that he could possibly be around me because he likes who i am. i hope that doesnt change.

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melasecarg · 1 year

Text

eggshell.

my letter to khalil.

i havent spoken to you in months. my choice. i didn't trust you. you reminded me too much of a pain that healed a bit too deep. you wasnt the one that hurt me. you were wonderful. fun even. but i was wearing black shades, and i couldnt even see my own hand. but i remembered your laugh. i laugh like you now. i was scared of how easy it felt to fuck you, but how hard it was to say how my day was.

i left you on read in august.

today is december 14th.

you texted me tonight.

you called.

you're with to someone else.

but you thought of me, and told me all the things you liked about me and how sad he was when i didn't see you for you. you noticed even the little things. but i saw you for my past. it was a blurb. and it's haunting me tonight. bc its true. i get in my own way. we couldve been happy together. it wouldve been cool. but it got treacherous to live outside of my delicate eggshell. one step and the shell will shake, and i dont want that, do i? a fragile shell is better than no shell and all exposure.

i was so innocent. he took advantage of me. not you, wonderful boy. the one who locked me in the eggshell, and took my place in the sunlight. ive been trying to come out of it, but he stalks me like a wolf, making sure his prey never leaves. that part is true. ask my friends. ive been stalked bc i loved him. ive been spied on. ive been lied to and on. hes made the campus i live on vietnam. i cant escape him. no matter how hard i try. and im sorry. mostly sorry to myself, but im sorry i hurt you, too. even if it wasnt that deep because you told me you found somebody new that you like, maybe want to be with. i wish i was you. i wish i could leave my egg shell.

if there was a worldwide telegram i could send to you and all the masses, it would say this:

"i want you all to know how im trying. he was my everything. he was a reflection of my freedom. me smashing my toes in the mud. i was 18. swaying through tall waves of grass and light. the love that felt like the one picture of two souls colliding. it was a diaster. i left him at 20. i only knew him for two years for a lifetime of forgetting and moving on.

im still picking up the pieces. every inch of this city i lay my head on for 6 more months has pieces of his curls everywhere. every inch of me reminds me of us. even though all my bodyhas changed. ive changed. ive had some falls. my scars have healed. ive gotten so much healither. but i still get tired and exhausted. life has turned and the world has too. he took my friends. my friends love him more than me. hes all they talked about. so i cut them off. a lot for them actually. im almost alone now. i realized the people that i thought were there for me never were. so i couldnt trust khalil. because it has been brought to my attention that i cant trust myself. so pls know i am trying. it might be a while. but i wont stop fighting to leave this eggshell. im going to keep trying. he suffocates my mouth and neck like soot blowing in a pipe. i keep telling myself itll be okay. but i said that when we broke up. he stalked me, and the soot tracked on my shoe. so i stopped going there. i cried myself to sleep, "itll all be over once he graduates." he got his friends to do his bidding. as i try not to recoil to the unblock button, the world i see before me is crumbling. choking. boiling. burning. it creates more than a scab. i want to text him. but i dont love him. i want to text him to leave me alone. i want him to know that i see him. and iknow he cant be the only one who feels that tension between us when we swiftly walk past. i know im not the only one, if i was, it would just be my tears and healing beside me, and not another memory of him traumatizing me. i would tell him that i saw what he commented. i would tell him i know what he did. i woudl tell him to give me bakc my tote bag because i know he has it. i would tell him to take down my art, because my – your friend told me its still there. i would tell him i know you miss me, because they showed me a picture and you traced over my strokes. i know you miss me, because had your friends try to corner me.

and its not a good thing. i would tell them if he misses me that much, he needs to heal. i would tell him to leave me alone. i would tell him to stop stealing my joy. God and i are begging you to leave me alone. im begging God to tell me that im not crazy. i want to be free. i want to love. i want to stop blaming myself for your war and its aftermath. of course i still care about him. but i want to care about myself more.

the thought of texting him brings so many ideas to my mind. all of them are subjectively terrorist-like to myself and all ive went through. what if texts back? what if he shared it? what if that conversation is not ours, but ours and his pack of wolves? what if they eat me? what if they get me? what if this was their plan? all of the attacks were stragetic to get me back to him? even if it was to curse his existence to his face: its what he wanted. because at the end of the day, he hurt me because he was hurt too.

but what if he changed? what if hes just confused? could we sit in his car, a coffee shop alone. two chairs, two seats, however you put it. sitting. talking. could humanity be like that

as i wrote this letter to u khalil, i remember that you chose to be human for a second, and take a chance. not for the sake of gaining a romantic connection, but just to see what happened. if i was okay. was it something he did. how bad was it> because khalil, you want to love again. and you know, you tok your shot. it was peaceful. we laghed. we talked about our summer together. and i wonder what that looks like for me. but i started to talk about him. thats how you know it was not you. and while it is me, it is someone elses knife inside me, the pinned you when you embraced me. and im sorry. i hope you love her. i hope you hold her tight. thank you.

take care,

from,

melas.

#my words #blurb #dont read this

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machine-gun-casie · 3 years

Text

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room.

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends.

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not.

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you.

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry.

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call?

“He was with Bob.”

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park?

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.”

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together.

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.”

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?”

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.”

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpsehusband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fluff #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse fluff #gender neutral reader

493 notes · View notes

youngbeezer · 3 years

Note

May i please have a hurt/comfort fic with jujhar khaira? Like the reader got yelled at by their boss and is upset about it? That man is so damn beautiful and I want him to COMFORT ME DAMN IT 💀

A/N: oh my gosh anon im so sorry this literally took me forever to finish. life has started to catch up to me a little so i havent had much time to write (also had very little motivation), but here it is,,,

thank you for requesting, i hope you like it :)

Word Count: 1177

Warning(s): curse words, toxic work environment, i also dont know that much about jujhar so i hope i portrayed him okay!!!

join my taglist

I try to hold back on the lingering tears that threaten to spill out as I make my way back to my office cubicle. I just got out of one of the worst meetings I think I have ever taken part in. My boss gave me a total chewing out in front of some of our higher board members, totally embarrassing me and making me look like a horrible employee. He also gave me such an unrealistic expectation for an assignment that he wants me to have finished by tomorrow morning.

Once I tried explaining how unreasonable that was (in the most polite way possible), he then went on to go around the entire table and point out how much better every other employee is compared to me.

So yeah. My day’s been complete shit.

The thing is though, my boss is just a sexist, misogynistic man. I work my ass off every single day I am in this office, finishing all my work on time, putting in extra hours, and even making stupid coffee runs for the board members (filled with all men). But nothing I do seems to make my boss happy.

I shield my face with my hair when my coworkers walk past me. I can hear their hushed whispers and feel their judgmental stares piercing through me. I let out a huff when they walk away and start counting down the seconds until I get to leave this hellhole.

And as soon as that clock hits 4:00PM, I grab my purse and practically sprint out of there.

When I get far enough away from the building, the waterworks begin. And they don’t stop even when I pull into the driveway of the apartment I share with my boyfriend.

And it seems like the tears blurred my vision enough that I totally didn’t notice that Jujhar’s car was in the lot, since as soon as I opened the door I am startled to find my boyfriend lounging on the couch.

It seems as if I alarmed him as well when I unintentionally slammed the door behind me, since he’s immediately making his way to my side.

“What happened?!” Jujhar panicked, grabbing a hold of my tear stricken face to make sure I wasn’t hurt at all.

A little scowl crosses my face when the thought of my horrible day passes through my mind again. “I hate my boss.” I pout out.

Jujhar’s face hardened at my words before he questioned, “What did he do this time?”

“He completely embarrassed me in front of all the board members and made me look like a worthless employee.”

“What a dick.” I hear Jujhar mutter underneath his breath. He squeezes my shoulders reassuringly before leading me into our bedroom. “Why don’t you get changed into some comfy clothes and come back into the living room and we can talk a little more about everything. Or we could just watch a movie or something if you aren’t up to talking.”

I bring him into a much needed hug and sigh contently in his arms. “Ok. I’ll be right out.”

Jujhar gives me a reassuring smile as he makes his way out of the bedroom to let me change.

After changing into a pair of sleep shorts and one of Jujhar’s Oilers sweatshirts, I make my way back into the living room and flop down into the seat next to my boyfriend. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer into his body.

“Wanna talk about it?” He cautions, running his fingers gently across my back.

I let out a sigh and relaxed forward into Jujhar’s body before responding. “I just don’t know what to do. Nothing I do is ever right and I feel like I am just wasting my talent since it’s obviously not appreciated there.”

Jujhar lets me go on my little rant and waits until I am fully finished to respond. He makes sure to look me directly in the eye when he voices out,

“Fuck them.”

I can’t help but let out a little snort at my boyfriend’s abrupt answer. He laughs along a little before sputtering out, “I’m serious! If they can’t see how amazing and hardworking you are, then fuck them. Seriously babe. You are the smartest and most beautiful woman I have ever met, and you do not deserve to be treated like that and have your talent be wasted away in that hellhole.”

I rest my head on Jujhar’s shoulder and question out, “So, what do I do?”

“Quit.”

That gains my attention, and my head snaps right back up to give my boyfriend wide eyes. “I can’t just quit.” I gaped.

“Why not? The work environment is so toxic and you hate it there. And you said it yourself that you feel like your talent and hardwork is being undermined. So why not quit and we can find a place that will suit and better appreciate you.” He says it so calmly and determinedly that it actually makes me think that I should just go for it.

“What if I can’t find another job quickly?” I worry. I don’t want him to think that I am going to become dependable on him and take advantage of his hard worked for money.

He gives me a little smile, seemingly knowing what I am thinking. “Babe you do not have to worry about that. I want you to take your time in finding the job that you think will best suit you. No matter what, I am going to be right here by your side.”

Once more, tears threaten to spill from my eyes. But this time they are tears of happiness and admiration for the man sitting in front of me.

“You know I love you right?”

Jujhar just smiles in return and leans in closer to bring our lips together. The kiss is sweet and gentle, just like the moment we just shared. It lets him know just how grateful I am for his kind words and having someone like him in my life. Jujhar always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better and get my emotions back on track.

When our lips break apart, I rest my forehead on his to keep in close proximity, while also knowing there are no other words that need to be spoken at this moment.

It’s definitely a scary thought to quit that job that I have stuck with for the past two years and start moving onto new things. But these new things are going to hopefully be bigger and better and will work out to be more beneficial for the future. And knowing that I am going to have Jujhar right here by my side the entire time makes it all seem a little less scary.

“I love you too.” Jujhar whispers out, our foreheads still resting against each other.

I take one ast deep breath before putting some distance between our bodies. I give him a giant grin and mused, “Let’s do this.”

taglist: @heatherawoowoo @barzysandmarnersbitch @joelsfarabees @barzy-xoxo @hockeyplayerstories @handwrittenheroes

tagging some mutuals as well,,, @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @prettyboycozens @prettyboyjackhughes @2manytabsopen @joekellys @jamiesdrysdales

#nhl imagine #jujhar khaira #edmonton oilers #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl blurb #hockey fic #hockey blurb #oilers #nhl imagines #hockey fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #nhl #hockey #my writing #hope you liked it :)#request #requests opened

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mojwisungie · 3 years

Text

imgn | Restart (enemy to lover! jisung)

req (from: anon) ➥ : hi, i really like your writings and! if its ok, can i request a jisung x reader enemies to lovers headcannon? jisung is always teasing and trying to beat the reader at everything and one day he was teasing her and she had enough of it that shouted at him and cried infront of alot of students, and this shocks everybody since the reader is always calm and soft spoken:( the ending can be up to you!💚

☄︎ with: park jisung ☄︎ lou.note: omg. i did not intend to write so much for this like idk i got carried away and i think its too long 😶 added the bonus part for context lol enjoy !!

your life is pretty sweet

honestly, you dont think of changing any aspect of it

youre good in school too

you have decent grades, great friends

but there is one thing that bothers you often

actually, one person

and its park jisung

and its not that you arent nice or something, bc everyone practically treats you as a friend actually

and you dont hate him, bc thats such a strong word

but you dont exactly like him either

he pushes all your buttons

and usually you’d laugh it off

youre used to joking around with people and youre not that sensitive

but jisung... man does that boy have the a u d a c i t y

you havent talked to him even once before he teased you for having a lower grade than him

so when he did that, you only smiled since it really wasnt that much of an insult to you

but then it got more frequent

he would often poke at you for doing the most basic things

you get a score a point lower than his again? you’ll hear his snarky remark about it the second he knows about it

you got elected as an officer in the class? of course he’ll say youre such a darling

you dropped a pen? there will be a quiet under-the-breath “clumsy” as soon as you pick it up

he also has this weird habit of scoffing whenever you outdo him

bc he scoffed when you perfected that presentation in dance class AND when you also got a higher grade than him on another

all these mockery is always rewarded by only an eye roll for you

since causing a scene isnt like you so you often

and somehow in some way, you hope he’ll back off

but one particular day, you were really having not such a good time

you were almost late bc you almost forgot your due project

which caused you to walk back to your house and also caused you to miss the bus so you had to walk

the moment you enter the class, jisung’s eyes is already on you

you actually prayed for him to shut it bc you’d usually hear something from him the moment you step in the class

you thought you were safe

but when you sat on your seat, he said, “you look worse today y/n, and thats not nice bc you look awful everyday, dont you thi-”

you startle him as you loudly tell him to shut up

followed with “i dont know what ive done for you to make fun of me everyday, cant you just leave me alone?!”

you didnt know you were crying until one tear fell on your cheek

some of your friends tried to help calm you down immediately and ask if you were okay, while some tried to confront jisung if he has any problem with you

he couldnt answer them he’s so shocked to see you cry

before he could apologize, your teacher enters the class prompting you to wipe the tears away and tell your friends that youre fine

from the way that you look, everyone knows you arent but lets you be as the class starts

the day goes by surprisingly well for you after that

what you didnt know was everyone was trying to not let jisung get close to you bc he might make you cry again

but jisung feels so guilty :( he wants to say sorry before this day ends

or else it might be too late for him to tell you the truth

so at dismissal, he waits for you by the gates bc he knows you stay in the library for a few before going home

on your way out, he tries to stop you and says

“hi y/n, uhm, i-im sorry for today, i didnt know you were going to cry.. actually i didnt know i was going too far with the teasi-”

you cut him off saying “oh uhm, its fine. dont worry about it. i know you dont like me so-”

“what? no, its not that i dont like you! i actually- uh- i mean-”

you dont really know whats he’s pointing so you wait for him to find the right words to tell you

a few more seconds pass and he goes

“i dont dont like you... i actually like you. its just someone told me that maybe if i tease you, we’d grow close and it was partially true because you'd only notice me when i do so.”

he continues with “i know it’s too much for me to ask since ive hurt you, and im really sorry for doing that but i hope you could give me a chance. i hope we could...restart?”

seeing the incomprehensible look (for jisung) on your face, he stutters with saying how its totally fine if you dont want to and he’d be okay to distance himself from you

but you answer him with

“sure. i’d love to restart with you.”

and from then on, it would only be love from him to you

bonus:

you know who actually told jisung to tease his crush?

chenle. he’s his bestfriend who told him to do it so he’ll have a chance with you

the moment he heads home, he doesnt go to his house, he goes marching to chenle’s

he greets his friend with a punch on the arm

chenle shouts in pain and asks “what the hell is that for?!”

so jisung answers him “your dumb plan made them cry! and i had to say sorry and tell them how i really feel about them all in one day”

and chenle bites back with “you mean my smart idea made you confess and have a chance with her? youre welcome”

they talk about what happened for a while until jisung asks him if knows what good gift he should give you

so expect to receive a cute (and kinda expensive) necklace the next day lol

also expect for more adorable gifts and heart-melting moments as you and jisung get together for the years that’ll come

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destrcyas · 3 years

Text

she chose love! | justaminx

thank u anon for the request ! fem!reader, per anons request y/u/n = ur username ! hm, perhaps some jschlatt, bob7, mature language, sexual jokes

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

“welcome to love or host, featuring one of my favorite people, y/n!” austin shouted into his mic to the over thousands of people watching you try to find love. your eyes skimmed the people in the call, there were some people you recongized like jschlatt, minx, and nihachu. but then there were others who you did not recongize, like sykkuno, ofeilabear, and bob7.

“hi, uh, im y/n. aka y/u/n on twitch. im here to find love i guess.” you said after austin had asked you to introduce yourself. you heard the man let out a scoff. “that sounded to unenthusiastic!” he said. “its like you dont want to find love!”

“fuck off, austin, im just nervous you big piece of shit!”

the two of you laughed, smiling as he had the contestants introduce themselves. there was karl jacobs, connoreatspants, jschlatt, nihachu, wilbur soot, ofeilabear, bob7, captain puffy, tricaisabirdie, and justaminx.

minx caught your eye.

she was extremely funny too, cracking jokes with way too many swears in between.

the show went by quick and soon, there were only 6 contestants left. niki, tricia, wilbur, karl, schlatt, and minx. bob, sykkuno, and puffy had chose love while connor and ofeila had chose host. you studied the final six as austin was getting ready to ask the million dollar question. “who do you think here chose host?”

minx was the first to speak up. “well, i think its schlatt because this motherfucker only comes onto love or hosts for views and all fucking stream that prick been chewing that goddamn cereal in my fucking ear!” she said, glaring at schlatt who was eating a fucking bowl of cocoa puffs. he didnt reply, just munched on the cereal louder.

you laughed at the irish girls anger for schlatt. after minx had spoken up, wilbur cut in. “minx havent you picked host for everyones love or host that youve been on?”

your eyebrows perked up as minxs cheeks grew red.

“minx? is that true? you asked her.

“it is true,” she said, putting her hands up in defense. “but look at you! who would ever host someone like you?”

you laughed, heat rising to your cheeks. you were flattered, really. from what you heard, shes only ever complimented her cats and georgenotfound.

“i agree with minx, who could host someone like you, but im like 90% sure minx hosted you.” karl said, laughing a bit at the end as minx sent him a death glare. “fuck you guys! what about schlatt?! he hasnt answered a single fucking question!” she yelled, pointing at her moniter.

“i dont know about you minx, but schlatt has given some pretty good answers.” austin joked at the irish girl. minx screamed, over austins bullshit.

after what seemed like seconds, it was time for your one on one date with wilbur and minx. you had just finished wilburs, it wasnt all that interesting, and now it was time for minxs.

“you guys have 2 minutes and 30 seconds starting ... now.” austin said and started the timer. you smiled at the girl in front of you. “hiii minx.”

“hi y/n. im really fucking nervous, what the fuck. i promise i didnt pick host.” she said, looking down nervously. you laughed softly. “i dont think you hosted me either. okay, question, if we were to go on a date where would we go?” you asked her, raising an eyebrow.

her face lit up as she smiled. “okay so, since we’re in the middle of a pandemic i would wait for you to be able to fly to ireland and i’d take you to my house, and we would try to bake some shit or something i dont fucking know. and maybe we’ll stream or go on a minecraft date.” minx said with a smile.

soon, the date was over and you dmed austin your choice.

“the winner of love or host featuring y/u/n is ...” he paused for dramatic affect.

“MINX! MINX YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THIS LOVE OR HOST!” austin yelled into the mic, causing minx to jump. when the information had registered in her brain, she gasped and grinned, her smile breaking her face in half. you smiled back at her, face sprinkled in pink.

“wilbur, unfortunately, it’s the end of the road for you.” austin lowered his voice as he spoke to wilbur. “before the show, wilbur had a choice to pick between love or host and he chose...” austin trailed off.

“HOST! HE CHOSE HOST!”

you gasped at wilbur, who was letting out a laugh.

“wilbur what the fuck?!” you yelled.

“well, youre not very funny.” wilbur joked. you feigned hurt, yelling a loud “fuck off” to him. wilbur had shouted out his channel, and now it was time for the part you were most nervous for.

whether minx chose love or host.

“SHE CHOSE LOVE!”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

for anyone wondering hosts; connoreatspant, jschlatt, wilbur soot, ofeilabear loves; karl jacobs, nihachu, bob7, captain puffy, tricaisabirdie, justaminx.

#justaminx #minx #love or host #wlw #im so sorry anon this is so shitty

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