#pin for prow pls

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

about my money situation... (please read. I know it's long, but it's the last one today, I promise)

also I thought I might update you all about my 'cars' and the 'money situation' since I know I've posted before about only having 1, and stressing over keeping it running, and that having 2 might make it seem like I'm suddenly doing fantastically.

I have 2 now. My girlfriend has built up some savings over the years and was kind enough to let me borrow some money from her instead of from a predatory loan agency to buy a second. My concern was having a second car so that if anything happened to the first, I'd have something to drive (the area I'm in is extremely anti-pedestrian, and even then, I'm disabled and can't walk even a single block without stopping).

The "new" car however is used, of course. For $2500 I got a 2004 Chrysler Sebring GTC convertible. My rationale was that my main car- a 2006 Ford Focus ZX4 SE sedan - could be used as my daily driver, for emergency money making (D**rD*sh, anyone?), since it gets decent gas mileage and is extremely reliable, while the secondary car could be more... fun. So yes. I got a convertible lol.

The convertible needed a bit of work (all new struts, the AC system doesn't work, and the top struggles to come up, but it still functions), but most of that is done now. I have the rear struts and parts for the AC. The front struts have been installed. The back window came partially unglued while we had it, but we glued that back with little issue. After cleaning out vents and putting more freon in, the AC blows cold for the most part, but it clearly still has issues. I have a new convertible motor on the way just in case that is going bad, but it probably won't be installed until this one completely gives out.

All in all, I've probably spent about ~$4000 on the car now, which is as much as plenty of people were asking for convertibles that were just as bad off, so I don't think it was a terrible deal.

That being said, it is extremely hot in my area, and I've dried my funds for the moment on repairing the AC. My dad knows a guy who's willing to do it cheaply, but I don't have any means of paying them for the moment. I also have about $5000 on a credit card at the moment, plus ~$300 on another credit card, and ~$200 on Affirm. My dad asked me to pay his and my mother's ~$2200 overdue tax bills using my credit card and that sorely threw my money management out the window. I've been desperately trying to keep my cards under 40% use which is why they're spread across three sources now, but that extra $2200 (or 22% of my unsecured credit card) was just too much...

I expected to handle most of the repairs and other stuff while I waited for disability decision on my credit card, which has now fallen through due to that. That's why I'm still asking for money, even though I SEEM well off.

I'm not.

I have about $100/wk in groceries, $50/wk in gas (for driving, considering I don't D**rD*sh, which isn't always a guarantee), then about $730.79/mo in bills. My girlfriend is helping some with the bills, but it is... a lot. It is a lot to have to survive on with meager income (it's hard to make even $200 on D**rD*sh in a single week, and I can't physically do any jobs I'm qualified for at the moment, hence the disability claim).

This is why I say even a single dollar will help. because it will. That's a dollar I don't have to make. That's a dollar I don't have to gauge whether D*shing will make me money or lose me money due to the gas prices. THat's why commissions right now would be my LIFEBLOOD.

My girlfriend has gotten money from her father in the past (not much anymore, though), and gets money from the govt to go to school from the GI Bill but this won't last forever. In fact, I believe she may only have 1-2 more years of that. It *could* in theory cover a lot of what I have going on, but... I know what she has in savings, and the amount of money I'd need to crawl out of this debt hole would easily take a significant chunk of her money. And we might need that money in the future to make a down payment on a place to live, not to mention it would be really shitty to take a bunch of her money that she may need for emergency situations or purchases of her own....

So I really, really, really don't want to do that.

so if you were curious. that's why I am asking for money despite seeming well off. I seem well off. but I am not. I am not well off at all and I am scared and struggling.

#oops-prow-did-it-again #boost #please read #pin for prow pls

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Update (please read)

This includes a general update about me, update about my sideblogs, tags, and also a small ask at the bottom w/ an art dump, so pls read all even tho it's a little long. I'd really appreciate it <3

so I finally decided to start using my queue system and stop feeling like such a pos all the time. this is part of my attempt at forcing myself to feel a little better on a daily basis. It's not that Im suddenly spending more time on Tumblr; I've ALWAYS been spending tons of time on Tumblr. I've just been in a bit of a funk for a long time where I was convinced I wasn't "good enough" (whatever that means) to interact with hardly anybody or anything.

But lol this is Tumblr..... if people don't like me interacting, they can block me. Ofc I'll try to respect DNIs and all but you get what I mean.

I'm going to try to clean up @undead-prowess and @plates-of-va as well and start posting to them more. I still am working on the next chapter of my Pokemon fanfic, but that has been delayed due to my cars needing a lot of work lately, and me having to help with that.

Also, my tags, explained (I promise this'll be the final time):

#oops prow queued again - queued post. the system posted it automatically. any tags were added when I queued it

#spicy prow - my custom nsfw tag. This just means a post that might be a little incendiary or not something you'd read in front of your grandparents. It doesn't mean that I think the post content is trashy or sexual or anything like that necessarily. It just means that if you're scrolling tumblr at work, you probably don't wanna see this post lol. This tag may also include discourse-y posts.

#nsfw-ish / #nsfwish - same story as the above, but more explicitly about specific language or sexual content. A post might offhandedly just say 'tits' and while that isn't, like, BAD, I just want to give people that are in compromising situations a choice to clean up their dash.

#here prow goes again - discourse tag. block it if you hate arguments. I try to avoid arguments honestly bc they're not worth the time but I'm not averse to posting them on occasion. I may also use a general 'discourse' tag.

#pin for prow pls - personal tag for stuff I really want to try to remember. helps narrow down posts for things I'd like to review later.

A lot of other tags (memes, videos, etc) are pretty self explanatory. I've moved away from my "non pokemon" tag, but if anyone really WANTS me to bring that back, I'm happy to bring it back. Just let me know.

Furthermore, ya boi is broke and currently waiting the 200+ average days for a decision on disability benefits, and even if I get them, they'll probably be garbage. If you can spare some change, it'd be greatly appreciated, even if it was like, a single dollar. I can also do art commissions, sfw or nsfw.

P@yPal || $silfurgames

My commission prices are flexible, but in general, for a single character, it's $10 for a sketch, $20 for a flat color w/ sketch, $30 for flat color w/ clean lines, $40 for shaded color w/ clean lines. For each additional character, add 35% of the price (so two characters for shaded color w/ clean lines would be $40+35%=$54).

I am willing to TRY to draw anything, but without references, I am best at animals (mammals, most reptiles, and many fictional creatures). With references I am willing to try anything.

Here's some samples of my work, not all of which I've posted here before:

#pin for prow pls #oops-prow-did-it again #please read #boost

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

I’m back!

So, I kinda quit using this blog a while back. There are some notes about it in my old pinned post and probably on my fanfics, lol, but basically, I felt overwhelmed by fandom and everything going on irl and I crashed. I just withdrew from like, everything. I still logged in on Tumblr but I just liked things to later view them with the boyfriend or laugh at them again myself.

Honestly, it’s not that fun, just doing that, and not really that fair to people who put effort into their posts like art, music, writing, etc., or even just people who are very passionate about a subject and may want it to reach others that are the same. Because I know I’m like that!

But anyway, this is going to be my new pinned post. So! (More under the cut, please keep reading!)

About Me

You can call me Prowess, I’m a FtM transmasc (he/him please)! I use this space to elevate my personal works, such as art or writing, while also occasionally posting about topics I am passionate about. I realized I was trans in 2020 at the age of 19 years old, in the midst of a pandemic and college fallout, so as you can imagine, I’m still riding the rollercoaster of emotions that come with that. I’m also ADHD... so expect some posts about those sort of things.

But that is hardly the focus! I am big on art and writing. While I am mostly obsessed with Pokemon, I am a lover of stories, and so generally, I love most fiction, even the really bad stuff. Along with my Pokemon stuff, you can expect posts involving ARK: Survival Evolved, The Tales of Miraculous Ladybug & Cat Noir, animated movies (Luca, Toy Story, Spirit - you name it, I probably love it), and plenty of other stuff.

While I have too many older posts to go through and try to sort out the unclean tags, going forward, I am going to use these sort of tags: subject (whatever the post is about, for example, Pokemon), characters depicted, media (whether it’s art, writing, animation, or a mix), and any warnings that may need to go with it (for example, cussing when stronger language is involved, or racism if racism is getting discussed, etc). Memes or one-off posts will likely be tagged with simply “memes.” While this is pretty true for most any blog, this is so you know if you need to block certain tags! For example, if you hate Miraculous Ladybug, you’d just blacklist ‘Miraculous.’

I will also reblog a lot of posts asking for help or boosting awareness. I will try not to inundate the blog with these, but as I will likely have to make a post asking for help at some point myself due to unfortunate irl circumstances, I want to pay it forward in advance. These will be tagged with simply “help needed!”

Below are some projects I’m working on + what you can expect from this blog.

Pokemon Retold

By far, my biggest project to date, is Pokemon Retold.

This is an expansive written anthology of all the pokemon mainline games as far as generation 8. Red, Heart of Gold, Omega Ruby, Platinum, Black, Black 2, Y, Ultra Sun, and Sword are all intended to get rewritten and posted on both my FanFiction.Net and Archive of Our Own accounts. I may also post some chapters here, but I admit Tumblr makes that difficult sometimes.

These stories are very personal to me, as I started writing them when I was struggling in college with undiagnosed ADHD, and felt like my life was falling apart and I was alone. I started writing a retelling of Sword, but the more I wrote, the more disappointed in it I felt, so I started writing Black instead and scrapped Sword altogether.

I’ve had some rough road since, but Black is complete, Black 2 is also complete, and Ultra Sun is (mostly) complete (but with plans to be heavily altered), while Red is underway!

WARNING: These stories can get DARK, and I would rather my readers be over 18. They are not dark with the intent to squick out or upset people, however; they are dark with the intention of exploring thoughts and ideas I find too difficult to think about directly. There are more personalized warnings at the beginnings of each story. With that out of the way, please just try and move on if you find yourself disliking a specific story or part of a story of mine... If you want to give constructive criticism, you are more than welcome, but tearing into me and my writing just because you didn’t like something helps nobody. Keep in mind I write these for fun and as a form of self-therapy throughout some of the worst years of my life.

Furthermore, I edit them a lot. And I do mean a lot. My FFN profile acts as a “changelog” for what has changed in the stories over the course of the time they’ve been posted.

Pokemon Retold posts are tagged “Retold.”

My FFN Profile

My AO3 Profile

Pokemon Retold: Black has been added to TVTropes! I honestly don’t even care that this person digs into it a couple of times, I was so incredibly flattered they took the time to do that at all. (But be warned the page does have some spoilers!) I have no idea if you enjoyed the story or not upon reading over that page, kind stranger lol, but I really appreciate that you took the time to do that nonetheless! <3

Creatively Destructive

This incredibly well-titled story is an idea I have for a retelling of Miraculous Ladybug. I know, I know - absolutely never been done before /s

While I know there has got to be a thousand retellings of this show by now, based on just how.... terrible, the writing is, I want to try anyway. Because I genuinely love the premise of the show! I’m just constantly disappointed by how it seems to never go anywhere with its plot or characters.

So, Creatively Destructive will be a fanfic, and when I have more information on it, I’ll post it under the tag “creatively destructive.”

Roleplays

Me and my boyfriend love to RP a lot. From Monster Hunter to Pokemon, we do a lot of different stories. Sometimes, I really get inspired by what we come up together and I want to share it with others! Be it quick art based on a scene from the RP or a quick rundown of what occurred in an RP, you can catch these in the ‘Prow RP’ tags.

Currently, we are having a lot of fun with an RP based on the Hoenn pokemon games that I am sure I’ll be posting about!

I may also be open to RPs with others in the future :> Don’t be offended that I’m not open to them already... I’m just a very easily overstimulated person.

The Ballad of the ARK

ARK: Survival Evolved is a lot of things. It’s an amazing concept, an open-world game where you befriend dinos and fight alongside tribemates against other tribes, or work together to survive the hostile environment. But the true tragedy of this game goes so much deeper than that, and I want to explore that in writing, starting with my story, my experience, and then graduating to where I think the issue primarily stems from. 

This strange memoir will be posted under the tags of “Ballad of ARK.”

Commissions

I hope to take commissions for art and writing in the future!

However, I need to figure out the parameters of what I’m willing to draw (and what I can feasibly draw), as well as what I can promise when it comes to writing, not to mention pricing.

That’s not to say I’m not open to ideas though! Feel free to message me/send me asks anyway and we’ll see if we can work something out. :)

Although I am not in a financial disaster just yet, I feel like I am not far from one. This is why I hope to try to build on commissions in the future. I know they will never support me, but I would still like to try to be useful and helpful to some. I currently live with my grandmother, having left my abusive home with my father, and although she generously allows me to live with her for the low cost of merely helping with some electricity and my own food, I struggle to remain abovewater financially due to difficulty finding work (thanks to issues with ADHD and physical problems following a bout with COVID in early January 2021).

If you would like to help anyway, feel free to subscribe to my Patreon, or make a one-time payment via PayPal. I promise no matter what or how much it is, your generosity is greatly appreciated!! <3

My Patreon

My PayPal

My Ko-fi

(Note that my Patreon is... very outdated and needs to be updated. I will do that soon!)

#new day new me! #undeadprowess #I will be changing my url #pokemon retold #retold #pin #creatively destructive #prow rps #ballad of ark #commissions #sketch #art #rb pls! :) #pokemon #pokemon trainer brendan #brendan #pokemon trainer brix #more info on those last tags soon lol