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#porky in the north woods
clemsfilmdiary · 1 year
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Porky in the North Woods (1936, Frank Tashlin)
Looney Tune #81
4/27/23
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termiteterraceclub · 5 months
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Termite Terrace Club - December 19th
1936 - Porky in the North Woods - Dir. Frank Tashlin
1953 - Punch Truck - Dir. Chuck Jones
1959 - People Are Bunny - Dir. Robert McKimson
1975 - Bugs Bunny Superstar - Produced and Directed by Larry Jackson. Featuring 9 shorts with interviews from Bob Clampett, Friz Freleng, and Tex Avery including rare footage from Clampett’s early days at the studio.
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timelesstimesgoneby · 2 years
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EPISODE VOLUME 1 DISC 1 BASEBALL BUGS RABBIT SEASONING LONG-HAIRED HARE HIGH DIVING HARE BULLY FOR BUGS WHATS UP DOC? RABBIT'S KIN "WATER WATER EVERY HARE H" BIG HOUSE BUNNY BIG TOP BUNNY My Bunny Lies Over the Sea WABBIT TWOUBLE BALLOT BOX BUNNY RABBIT OF SEVILLE DISC 2 DUCK AMUCK DOUGH FOR THE DO-DO DRIP- ALONG DAFFY SCAREDY CAT THE DUCKSTERS THE SCARLET PUMPERNICKEL YANKEE DOODLE DAFFY PORKY CHOPS WEARING OF THE GRIN DEDUCE YOU SAY BOOBS IN THE WOODS GOLDEN YEGGS RABBIT FIRE DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24½2TH CENTURY DISC 3 ELMER'S CANDID CAMERA BUGS BUNNY AND THE TREE BEARS Fast and Furry-ous HAIR-RAISING HARE Awful Orphan HAREDEVIL HARE FOR SCENT-IMENTAL REASONS FRIGID HARE THE HYPO-CHONDRI-CAT BATON BUNNY FEED THE KIMY DON'T GIVE UP THE SHEEP BUGS BUNNY GETS THE BOID TORTOISE WINS BY A HARE DISC 4 CANARY ROW BUNKER HILL BUNNY KIT FOR CAT Putty Tat Trouble BUGS AND THUGS Canned Feud Lumber Jerks Speedy Gonzales Tweety's S.O.S. The Foghorn Leghorn Daffy Duck Hunt Early to Bet A Broken Leghorn DEVIL MAY HARE VOLUME 2 DISC 1 THE BIG SNOOZE BROOMSTICK BUNNY BUGS BUNNY RIDES AGAIN BUNNY HUGGED FRENCH RAREBIT Gorilla My Dreams The Hare-Brained Hypnotist HARE CONDITIONED The Heckling Hare LITTLE RED RIDING RABBIT TORTOISE BEATS HARE RABBI TRANSIT Slick Hare BABY BUGGY BUNNY HYDE AND HARE DISC 2 BEEP, BEEP Going! Going! Gosh! ZIPPING ALONG STOP LOOK AND HASTEN READY SET, ZOOM! Guided Muscle Gee Whiz-z-z-z-z-z-z There They Go-Go-Go! Scrambled Aches ZOOM AND BORED WHOA BE GONE CHEESE CHASERS THE DOVER BOYS MOUSE WRECKERS A BEAR FOR PUNISHMENT DISC 3 Bad Ol' Putty Tat All a Bir-r-r-d ROOM AND BIRD "GIFT WRAPPED C" Ain't She Tweet A BIRD IN A GUILITY CAGE "SNOW BUSINESS C" Tweetie Pie KITTY KORNERED BABY BOTTLENECK OlD GIORY The Great Piggy Bank Robbery Duck Soup to Nuts PORKY IN WACKYLAND DISC 4 Back Alley Oproar Book Revue A Corny Concerto Have You Got Any Castles? HOLYWOOD STEPS OUT I LOVE TO SINGA Katnip Kollege The Hep Cat THE THREE LITTLEST BOPS ONE FROGGY EVENNING RIAPSODY RABBIT SHOW BIZ BUGS STAGE DOOR CARTOON What's Opera, Doc? YOU OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES VOLUME 3 DISC 1 HARE FORCE HARE REMOVER HARE TONIC A HARE GROWS IN MANHATTAN EASTER YEGGS The Wabbit Who Came to Supper BOWERY BUGS HOMELESS HARE CASE OF THE MISSING HARE ACROBATTY BUNNY Wackiki Wabbit HARE DO REBEL RABBIT HILLBILLY HARE DUCK RABBIT, DUCK DISC 2 DAFFY DUCK IN HOLLYWOOD HOLLYWOOD CAPERS THE COOCOO NUT GROVE PORKY'S ROAD RACE THE WOODS ARE FULL OF CUCKOOS SHE WAS ANACROBAT'S DAUGHTER THE FILM FAN SPEAKING OF THE WEATHER THUGS WITH DIRTY MUGS GOOFY GROCERIES SWOONER CROONER WIDEO WABBIT THE HONEY MOUSERS THE LAST HUNGRY CAT THE MOUSE THAT JACK BUILT DISC 3 I HAVEN'T GOT A HAT PORKY'S ROMANCE PORKY'S PARTY PORKY IN EGYPT PORKY AND TEABISCUIT PIGS IS PIGS PIGS IN A POLKA PORKY PIG'S FEAT DAFFY DUCK SLEPT HERE BYE, BYE BLUEBEARD AN EGG SCRAMBLE ROBIN HOOD DAFFY THE WINDBLOWN HARE CLAWS FOR ALARM ROCKET SQUAD DISC 4 Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur SUPER-RABBIT DAFFY DUCK AND EGGHEAD A GRUESOME TWOSOME DRAFTEE DAFFY FALLING HARE STEAL WOOL BIRDS ANONYMOUS NO BARKING RABBIT PUNCH AN ITCH IN TIME Odor-Able Kitty WALKY TALKY HAWKY GONZALES' TAMALES TO BEEP OR NOT TO BEEP VOLUME 4 DISC 1 ROMAN LEGION-HARE THE GREY HOUNDED HARE RABBIT HOOD OPERATION: RABBIT KNIGHT-MARE HARE SOUTHERN FRIED RABBIT MISSISSIPPI HARE HURDY-GURDY HARE FORWARD MARCH HARE SAHARA HARE Barbary Coast Bunny 8 BALL BUNNY KNIGHTY KNIGHT BUGS RABBIT ROMEO DISC 2 THE CASE OF THE STUTTERING PIG LITTLE PANCHO VANILLA LITTLE BEAU PORKY NOW THAT SUMMER IS GONE A PORKY IN THE NORTH WOODS YOU'RE AN EDUCATION PORKY'S RAILROAD PLANE DAFFY PORKY THE FIREMAN "A CRACKED ICE C" PUSS N' BOOTY LI GOT PLENTY OF MUTTON BOOBY HATCHED 12 PORKY'S POULTRY PLANT THE STUPID CUPID DISC 3 CAT-TAILS FOR TWO TABASCO ROAD TORTILLA FLAPS Mexicali Shmoes HERE TODAY GONE TAMALE WEST OF THE PESOS CANNERY WOE THE PIED PIPER OF GUADALUPE MEXICAN BOARDERS CHILI WEATHER A MESSAGE TO GRACIAS NUTS AND VOLTS Pancho's Hideaway THE WILD CHASE "A-HAUNTING WE WALL GO H" DISC 4 THE NIGHT WATCHMAN CONRAD THE SAILOR THE SOUR PUSS THE ARISTO-CAT DOUGH RAY ME-OW PIZZICATO PUSSYCAT KISS ME CAT CAT FEUD THE UNEXPECTED PEST GO FLY A KIT KIDDIN' THE KITTEN A PECK O' TROUBLE MOUSE AND GARDEN PORKY'S POOR FISH SWALLOW THE LEADER VOLUME 5 DISC 1 CARROT RABBIT ALI BABA BUNNY BUCCANEER BUNNY BUGS' BONNETS A STAR IS BORED A Pest in the House "TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 H" OILY HARE STUPOR DUCK THE STUPOR SALESMAN " The Abominable Snow Rabbit" The Super Snooper The Up-Standing Sitter Hollywood Daffy You Were Never Duckier DISC 2 BEWITCHED BUNNY PAYING THE PIPER THE BEAR'S TALE FONEY FABLES GOLDIMOUSE AND THE THREE CATS HOLIDAY FOR SHOESTRINGS LITTLE RED RODENT HOOD LTTLE RED WALKING HOOD RED RIDING HOODWINKED THE TRIAL OF MR, WOLF TURN-TALE WOLF TOM THUMB IN TROUBLE TWEETY AND THE BEANSTALK A GANDER AT MOTHER GOOSE SEÑORELLA AND THE GLASS HUARACHE DISC 3 BACALL TO ARMS BUCKAROO BUGS CRAZY CRUISE FARM FROLICS HARE RIBBIN' PATIENT PORKY PREHISTORIC PORKY THE BASHFUL BUZZARD THE OLD GREY HARE THE WACKY WABBIT THE WISH QUACKING DUCK WAGON HEELS THE DAFFY DOC A TALE OF TWO KITTIES PORKY'S POOCH DISC 4 ALPINE ANTICS EATIN' ON THE CUFF OR THE MOTH WHO CAME TO DINNER MILK AND MONEY I'VE GOT TO SING A TORCH SONG PORKY AT THE CROCADERO POLAR PALS SCRAP HAPPY DAFFY PORKY'S DOUBLE TROUBLE GOLD DIGGERS OF '49 "PILGRIM PORKY T" Wise Quackers porky's preview Porky's Poppa Wholly Smoke What Price Porky VOLUME 6 DISC 1 HARE TRIGGER TO DUCK. OR NOT TO DUCK BIRTH OF A NOTION MY LITTLE DUCKAROO CROWING PAINS Raw! Raw! Rooster! HEAVEN SCENT MY FAVORITE DUCK JUMPIN' JUPITER SATAN'S WAITIN HOOK, LINE AND STINKER BEAR FEAT DOG GONE SOUTH A HAM IN A ROLE OFTEN AN ORPHAN DISC 2 HERR MEETS HARE RUSSIAN RHAPSODY DAFFY - THE COMMANDO BOSKO THE DOUGHBOY ROOKIE REVUE THE DRAFT HORSE WACKY BLACKOUT THE DUCKTATORS THE WEAKLY REPORTER FIFTH COLUMN MOUSE MEET JOHN DOUGHBOY Hollywood Canine Canteen BY WORD OF MOUSE HEIR-CONDITIONED YANKEE DOOD IT DISC 3 CONGO JAZZ SMILE, DARN YA, SMILE! THE BOOZE HANGS HIGH ONE MORE TIME BOSKO'S PICTURE SHOW YOU'RE DOIN'T KNOW WHAT YOUR DOIN WERE IN THE MONEY RIDE HIM. BOSKO! SHUFFLE OFF TO BUFFALO BOSKO IN PERSON THE DISH RAN AWAY WITH THE SPOON BUDDY'S DAY OUT BUDDY'S BEER GARDEN BUDDY'S CIRCUS A CARTOONIST'S NIGHTMARE DISC 4 HORTON HATCHES THE EGG LIGHTS FANTASTIC FRESH AIREDALE CHOW HOUND THE OILY AMERICAN IT'S HUMMER TIME ROCKET-BYE BABY GOO GO0 GOLIATH WILD WIFE MUCH ADO ABOUT NUTTING THE HOLE IDEA NOW HEAR THIS MARTIAN THROUGH GEORGIA PAGE MISS GLORY NORMAN NORMAL
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dorothydalmati1 · 2 months
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Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies 1936 Episode 32: Porky in the North Woods
Score by Carl W. Stalling
Directed by Frank Tashlin
Animated by Volney White & Norman McCabe
Voice characterizations by Joe Dougherty, Billy Bletcher & Berneice Hansell
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now-watching · 5 months
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brookston · 5 months
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Holidays 12.19
Holidays
Advocacy Day (Ukraine)
Almanack Day
Bantha Appreciation Day (Star Wars)
Build a Snowman Day
A Christmas Carol Day
Digital Twin Day
E-Mail Santa Claus Just in Case He Didn't Get Your Letter Day [ mailroom ] 
Fiesta of Santo Tomas begins (Guatemala; until 25th)
Gender Critical Coming Out Day
Goa Liberation Day (India)
Holly Day
I've Got My Big Guy Fat Pants On Day
Liberation Day (Goa)
Look for an Evergreen Day
Mitch Marner Day (Canada)
National Emo Day
National Harry Day
National Heroes & Heroines Day (Anguilla)
Olive Day (French Republic)
Robinson Crusoe Rescue Day
Thorn Cutting Ceremony (Glastonbury, Somerset, UK)
Yuletide Lad #8 arrives (Skyrgamur or Skyr-Gobbler; Iceland)
Food & Drink Celebrations
Chocolate Pizza Day
Cream Liqueur Day
Currant Buns Day (UK)
National Hard Candy Day
National Oatmeal Muffin Day
3rd Tuesday in December
Christmas Cookie House Day [3rd Tuesday]
Independence Days
Børge (a.k.a. Republic of Libri; Declared; 2017) [unrecognized]
Republic of Lakotah (Declared; 2007) [unrecognized]
Feast Days
Adam (Christian; Saint)
Anastasius I, Pope (Christian; Saint)
Asgard Day (Pagan)
The Bee (Muppetism)
Bernard Valeara (Christian; Saint)
Cavendish (Positivist; Saint)
Dalek Remembrance Day (Pastafarian)
Feast of Goddess of Sankrant (Hindu)
Juventas Festival (Ancient Rome)
Lillian Trasher (Episcopal Church)
Lorenzo di Medici Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Nathan Oliveira (Artology)
Nemesion (Christian; Saint)
Opalia (Celebrating Ops, the old Roman Mother Earth)
O Radix Jesse (3rd O Antiphon or Great Advent Antiphon; Christian) [O Root of Jesse; 3 of 7]
Robot Awareness Day (Pastafarian)
Saint Nicholas Day (Eastern Christian) [Ukraine]
Samthann of Meath (Christian; Saint)
Urban V, Pope (Christian; Saint)
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Fortunate Day (Pagan) [49 of 53]
Prime Number Day: 353 [71 of 72]
Taian (大安 Japan) [Lucky all day.]
Umu Limnu (Evil Day; Babylonian Calendar; 58 of 60)
Premieres
The Aristocats (Animated Disney Film; 1980)
Babes in Toyland (TV Movie; 1986)
Bars of Steal or The Hard Cell (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S3, Ep. 136; 1961)
Being There (Film; 1979)
Blue Suede Shoes, recorded by Carl Perkins (Song; 1955)
Boris Badenov and His Friends? (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S3, Ep. 135; 1961)
Captain Blood (Film; 1935)
A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens (Novella; 1843)
A Clockwork Orange (Film; 1971)
Deal or No Deal (TV game Show; 2005)
The Fellowship of the Ring (Film; 2001) [Lord of the Rings #1]
From All of Us to All of You (Animated Disney TV Christmas Special; 1958)
Judgment at Nuremberg (Film; 1961)
Kramer vs. Kramer (Film; 1979)
Laughing Boy:A Navajo Love Story, by Oliver La Farge (Novel; 1929)
The Little Drummer Boy (Xmas Song; 1958)
Little Shop of Horrors (Film; 1986)
The Man with the Golden Gun (UK Film; 1974) [James Bond #9]
Mary Poppins Returns (Film; 2018)
Mona Lisa Smile (Film; 2003)
Monsters, Inc. (Animated Pixar Film; 2012)
More Kittens (Disney Cartoon; 1936)
Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (Film; 2014)
9 to 5 (Film; 1980)
People Are Bunny (WB MM Cartoon; 1959)
Platoon (Film; 1986)
Porky in the North Woods (WB LT Cartoon; 1936)
Punch Trunk (WB LT Cartoon; 1953)
Raging Bull (Film; 1980)
Seems Like Old Times (Film; 1980)
Song of the Sea (Animated Film; 2014)
A Symposium on Popular Songs (Disney Cartoon; 1962)
The Tale of Desperaux (Animated Film; 2008)
Titanic (Film; 1997)
Tomorrow Never Dies (US Film; 1997) [James Bond #18]
Topaz (Film; 1969)
Yes Man (Film; 2008)
Zero Dark Thirty (Film; 2012)
Today’s Name Days
Benjamin, Susanne (Austria)
Anastazije, Eva, Tea, Urban, Vladimir (Croatia)
Ester (Czech Republic)
Nemesius (Denmark)
Maarius, Mairo, Mario (Estonia)
Iikka, Iiro, Iisakki, Isko (Finland)
Urbain (France)
Benjamin, Susanna (Germany)
Aglaia, Aris (Greece)
Viola (Hungary)
Dario (Italy)
Jordisa, Lelde, Minjona, Sarmis (Latvia)
Darijus, Gerdvilas, Rimantė (Lithuania)
Isak, Iselin (Norway)
Abraham, Beniamin, Dariusz, Gabriela, Mścigniew, Nemezjusz, Tymoteusz, Urban (Poland)
Aglaia, Bonifatie, Grichentie, Trifon (Romania)
Judita (Slovakia)
Darío, Eva (Spain)
Isak (Sweden)
Boniface, Mecheslav, Mecheslava (Ukraine)
Daria, Darian, Darien, Dario, Darion, Darius, Haysten (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 353 of 2024; 12 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 2 of week 51 of 2023
Celtic Tree Calendar: Ruis (Elder) [Day 22 of 28]
Chinese: Month 12 (Jia-Zi), Day 7 (Xin-Hai)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 7 Teveth 5784
Islamic: 6 Jumada II 1445
J Cal: 23 Zima; Twosday [23 of 30]
Julian: 6 December 2023
Moon: 50%: 1st Quarter
Positivist: 17 Bichat (13th Month) [Cavendish]
Runic Half Month: Jara (Year) [Day 9 of 15]
Season: Autumn (Day 88 of 89)
Zodiac: Sagittarius (Day 28 of 30)
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brookstonalmanac · 5 months
Text
Holidays 12.19
Holidays
Advocacy Day (Ukraine)
Almanack Day
Bantha Appreciation Day (Star Wars)
Build a Snowman Day
A Christmas Carol Day
Digital Twin Day
E-Mail Santa Claus Just in Case He Didn't Get Your Letter Day [ mailroom ] 
Fiesta of Santo Tomas begins (Guatemala; until 25th)
Gender Critical Coming Out Day
Goa Liberation Day (India)
Holly Day
I've Got My Big Guy Fat Pants On Day
Liberation Day (Goa)
Look for an Evergreen Day
Mitch Marner Day (Canada)
National Emo Day
National Harry Day
National Heroes & Heroines Day (Anguilla)
Olive Day (French Republic)
Robinson Crusoe Rescue Day
Thorn Cutting Ceremony (Glastonbury, Somerset, UK)
Yuletide Lad #8 arrives (Skyrgamur or Skyr-Gobbler; Iceland)
Food & Drink Celebrations
Chocolate Pizza Day
Cream Liqueur Day
Currant Buns Day (UK)
National Hard Candy Day
National Oatmeal Muffin Day
3rd Tuesday in December
Christmas Cookie House Day [3rd Tuesday]
Independence Days
Børge (a.k.a. Republic of Libri; Declared; 2017) [unrecognized]
Republic of Lakotah (Declared; 2007) [unrecognized]
Feast Days
Adam (Christian; Saint)
Anastasius I, Pope (Christian; Saint)
Asgard Day (Pagan)
The Bee (Muppetism)
Bernard Valeara (Christian; Saint)
Cavendish (Positivist; Saint)
Dalek Remembrance Day (Pastafarian)
Feast of Goddess of Sankrant (Hindu)
Juventas Festival (Ancient Rome)
Lillian Trasher (Episcopal Church)
Lorenzo di Medici Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Nathan Oliveira (Artology)
Nemesion (Christian; Saint)
Opalia (Celebrating Ops, the old Roman Mother Earth)
O Radix Jesse (3rd O Antiphon or Great Advent Antiphon; Christian) [O Root of Jesse; 3 of 7]
Robot Awareness Day (Pastafarian)
Saint Nicholas Day (Eastern Christian) [Ukraine]
Samthann of Meath (Christian; Saint)
Urban V, Pope (Christian; Saint)
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Fortunate Day (Pagan) [49 of 53]
Prime Number Day: 353 [71 of 72]
Taian (大安 Japan) [Lucky all day.]
Umu Limnu (Evil Day; Babylonian Calendar; 58 of 60)
Premieres
The Aristocats (Animated Disney Film; 1980)
Babes in Toyland (TV Movie; 1986)
Bars of Steal or The Hard Cell (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S3, Ep. 136; 1961)
Being There (Film; 1979)
Blue Suede Shoes, recorded by Carl Perkins (Song; 1955)
Boris Badenov and His Friends? (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S3, Ep. 135; 1961)
Captain Blood (Film; 1935)
A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens (Novella; 1843)
A Clockwork Orange (Film; 1971)
Deal or No Deal (TV game Show; 2005)
The Fellowship of the Ring (Film; 2001) [Lord of the Rings #1]
From All of Us to All of You (Animated Disney TV Christmas Special; 1958)
Judgment at Nuremberg (Film; 1961)
Kramer vs. Kramer (Film; 1979)
Laughing Boy:A Navajo Love Story, by Oliver La Farge (Novel; 1929)
The Little Drummer Boy (Xmas Song; 1958)
Little Shop of Horrors (Film; 1986)
The Man with the Golden Gun (UK Film; 1974) [James Bond #9]
Mary Poppins Returns (Film; 2018)
Mona Lisa Smile (Film; 2003)
Monsters, Inc. (Animated Pixar Film; 2012)
More Kittens (Disney Cartoon; 1936)
Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (Film; 2014)
9 to 5 (Film; 1980)
People Are Bunny (WB MM Cartoon; 1959)
Platoon (Film; 1986)
Porky in the North Woods (WB LT Cartoon; 1936)
Punch Trunk (WB LT Cartoon; 1953)
Raging Bull (Film; 1980)
Seems Like Old Times (Film; 1980)
Song of the Sea (Animated Film; 2014)
A Symposium on Popular Songs (Disney Cartoon; 1962)
The Tale of Desperaux (Animated Film; 2008)
Titanic (Film; 1997)
Tomorrow Never Dies (US Film; 1997) [James Bond #18]
Topaz (Film; 1969)
Yes Man (Film; 2008)
Zero Dark Thirty (Film; 2012)
Today’s Name Days
Benjamin, Susanne (Austria)
Anastazije, Eva, Tea, Urban, Vladimir (Croatia)
Ester (Czech Republic)
Nemesius (Denmark)
Maarius, Mairo, Mario (Estonia)
Iikka, Iiro, Iisakki, Isko (Finland)
Urbain (France)
Benjamin, Susanna (Germany)
Aglaia, Aris (Greece)
Viola (Hungary)
Dario (Italy)
Jordisa, Lelde, Minjona, Sarmis (Latvia)
Darijus, Gerdvilas, Rimantė (Lithuania)
Isak, Iselin (Norway)
Abraham, Beniamin, Dariusz, Gabriela, Mścigniew, Nemezjusz, Tymoteusz, Urban (Poland)
Aglaia, Bonifatie, Grichentie, Trifon (Romania)
Judita (Slovakia)
Darío, Eva (Spain)
Isak (Sweden)
Boniface, Mecheslav, Mecheslava (Ukraine)
Daria, Darian, Darien, Dario, Darion, Darius, Haysten (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 353 of 2024; 12 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 2 of week 51 of 2023
Celtic Tree Calendar: Ruis (Elder) [Day 22 of 28]
Chinese: Month 12 (Jia-Zi), Day 7 (Xin-Hai)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 7 Teveth 5784
Islamic: 6 Jumada II 1445
J Cal: 23 Zima; Twosday [23 of 30]
Julian: 6 December 2023
Moon: 50%: 1st Quarter
Positivist: 17 Bichat (13th Month) [Cavendish]
Runic Half Month: Jara (Year) [Day 9 of 15]
Season: Autumn (Day 88 of 89)
Zodiac: Sagittarius (Day 28 of 30)
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icleanedthisplate · 9 months
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Dine-Out Meals of July 2023, Ranked
I ranked the following based on taste alone. I made no consideration for ambiance or the general dining experience or whatever. I included meals I got to go. I included food trucks, catered meals, and fast food.
Some solid meals from some new places at the top this month.
Should you be interested in the pictures or reading the few words I had to say about each meal, click on the home page and scroll down or see the archives.
Summer Tomato Pie, Sweet Corn Ribs & Shishito Peppers, Gulf Tilefish a la Plancha & Blue Crab, Banana Pudding (Shared all). Helen. Birmingham, Alabama. 7.28.2023.
Grilled Octopus, Marinated Beet Salad, Manchester Farms Quail, Carolina Peach Cheesecake. Soby’s. Greenville, South Carolina. 7.27.2023.
Pad See Eiw w/Tofu, Sashimi App. Sabaidee Thai Sushi. Salisbury, North Carolina. 7.25.2023.
Escargot (shared), Niçoise Salad, Lemon Tart. Passerelle Bistro. Greenville, South Carolina. 7.26.2023.
Classic Fish/Shrimp Ceviche. Ceviche Ceviche. Harlingen, Texas. 7.20.2023.
Baleados Con Todo w/Carnitas. El Sur Street Food Co. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.7.2023.
Petit Jean Ranch Salad (to go). Zaza Fine Salad & Wood Oven Pizza Co. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.2.2023.
Chopped Salmon Salad. Cheers (Heights). Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.11.2023.
Avalon Burger, Red Rock Sandwich w/Broccoli (shared all). Ted’s Montana Grill. Atlanta, Georgia. 7.28.2023.
Tiger’s Milk Fish/Shrimp Ceviche, add Avocado. Ceviche Ceviche. Harlingen, Texas. 7.21.2023.
Smoked Chicken, Pork Ribs, Mac & Cheese, Charro Beans. Tejano Grill. Harlingen, Texas.
Grilled Chicken Collard Melt w/Salad Wedge. Forklift. Tupelo, Mississippi. 7.29.2023.
Taco Salad w/Steak. Cache. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.17.2023.
Sushi Rolls (Red Dragon, Salmon Lover, ??) (shared all). Wasabi. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.15.2023.
Avocado Toast w/Egg. Fidel & Co. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.12.2023.
Chicken, Bacon Club w/Chips. The Great American Bagel. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.23.2023.
Chicken, Bacon Club w/Chips (Shared). The Great American Bagel. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.25.2023.
Chicken Parmesan Sandwich w/Chips (to go). Raduno. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.13.2023.
Nigiri Lunch. Kemuri. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.12.2023.
Tamales (Jalapeno & Cheese, Porky Pibil, Shrimp & Cheese). Tamalcalli. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.17.2023.
Barbecue Chicken Pizza. Cache. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.6.2023.
Rachel w/Brussels Sprouts. City Tavern. Salisbury, North Carolina. 7.26.2023.
Smoked Salmon Salad. 42 Bar & Table. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.5.2023.
Hawaiian Pizza. Damgoode Pies (Hillcrest). Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.13.2023.
Power Bowl w/Peanut Butter, Coconut Balls. Rush Bowls. Birmingham, Alabama. 7.29.2023.
Bee’s Knees. Southern Pressed Juicery. Greenville, South Carolina. 7.28.2023.
Turkey Melt w/Broccoli. Cache. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.24.2023.
PB&J Smoothie. Texas Health Nut. Harlingen, Texas. 7.22.2023. (No photo.)
Lupe’s Quesabirria Tacos. Tamalcalli. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.10.2023.
Chicken Gyro w/Chips, Chocolate Chip Cookie x3. Unknown Caterer. Greenville, South Carolina. 7.27.2023.
Cilantro Pesto Grilled Chicken Sandwich w/Fries. Frankie Flav’z Craft Burger House. Harlingen, Texas. 7.21.2023.
Deluxe Salad w/Chicken. La Playa. Harlingen, Texas. 7.22.2023.
Turkey Bacon, Cheddar & Egg White Sandwich. Starbucks (Airport). Houston, Texas. 7.23.2023.
Turkey Bacon, Cheddar & Egg White Sandwich. Starbucks. Salisbury, North Carolina. 7.26.2023. (No photo.)
Turkey Bacon, Cheddar & Egg White Sandwich. Starbucks. Greenville, South Carolina. 7.27.2023.
Red Pepper Sous Vide Egg Bites. Starbucks. Harlingen, Texas. 7.21.2023.
Lunch Catering (Potato Bar). Count Porkula. Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.11.2023.
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ducktracy · 3 years
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frank tashlin’s cinematographic excellence is no secret, and i KNOW i keep saying this but it’s definitely eye-opening watching this as a board artist now—not even limited to the super fast cutting, but just the zooms are fascinating too. the seemingly random zooms (particularly starting off the beginning zoomed in, zooming in on the beaver snapping, zooming in when porky enters and the other beaver exits) are all very deliberate and thought out choices and that’s FASCINATING!!!
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Porky Pig Black and White Birthday Special!
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H-h-hello you happy people! And it’s time for my first birthday special for  Looney Tune! While I covered some with Tex’s birthday last week, this is the first of these specials i’ve done to cover one of their stars.. and it’s apporirate it starts with their first big one: Porky Pig! 
Yes for those of you who didn’t know, and until a few months ago that included me turns out Porky wasn’t always a second banana who still had an iconic habit of closing out shorts with his signature “T-t-that’s all folks!’. He was Warner Bros first big star and mascot. Like Daffy would do in Porky’s own shorts he started out  as a sidekick in shorts for Beans the Cat
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No one Brak, that’s why eventually Beans, who was a diet Mickey outside of his first short, which we’ll get to in a moment, got the boot while the stuttering adorable pig got the starring role instead. Porky was the studio’s big headliner for years and years.. but most wouldn’t know it. Outside of Porky in Wackyland, none of his shorts without Daffy or Sylvester really got a lot of play on Cartoon Network or other repackages, likely because most were black and white and for whatever reason they didn’t mix them in. But after seeing oh so many in the menu for Looney Tunes on max I was super curious, and thus super excited for this day to come so I could take a look and see how they held up, holding off watching them so they’d be fresh. And outside of three shorts: his first appearance, one suggested by my friend Blah and one picked by my Patreon Emma, as one of the perks for my patreons is getting to pick a cartoon when I do one of these 10 cartoon specials, I just went with my gut, what sounded interesting or what have you, avoidnig the ones where he was Daffy’s sidekick and what not to focus soley on porky hamself to see how he stacked up alone. 
How’d it turn out? Well join me after the cut for a nice pile of ham, bacon, sausage and other pork products as we dig into everyone’s favorite pig. Well almost everyone I have my own favorites. 
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Yes yes you are sweetie. Reviews of 10 Porky Shorts, all but one in black and white, under the cut.  Trigger warning: One of these shorts involves attempted suicide Yes really. So if that’s a trigger for you, please avoid this review entirely or if you want to just avoid that specific entry, the one on Porky’s romance. Thank you. 
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1. I Haven’t Got A Hat (1935): Bope A Dope A Dope Dope
As I mentioned Pre-Porky, Warner didn’t have a star to compete with Disney, and given Disney was so character based, and a lot of these shorts were coming out at the same time Disney was spinning Donald off into his own series giving them TWO huge stars, it was clear Warner needed at least one to complete. So they came up with a plan: a knock off of Our Gang, aka what would later be dubbed The Little Rascals, starring a bunch of animal kids to see if one or all caught on. As you can tell one did but as the intro made clear it took them a few shorts to realize it. 
The short is about a school recital to raise money for the teachers, just in case you thought them being underpayed was a new thing. So it’s really an excuse for four diffrent segments of hyjinks following a diffrent kid or kids each. Our first is the reason this one is here, porky’s introductoin where he stutters, and struggles throught he midnight ride of paul revere. It’s alright mostly do to his animated actions like the above seen simulating hi mriding his horse. Not bad but like a lot of Porky jokes it relies on his stutter which wasn’t funny to me as a kid or now as an adult, and comes off pretty inesnitive in hindsight, especially as the stutter was a medical condition of his voice actor that forced him to retire and be replaced by Mel Blanc after “Porky’s Romance”, which we’ll get to.
The other three bits are likewise decent: Kitty, a small cat, nervously makes her way through mary had a little lamb next, whic is fine enough. My faviorite is after here, Ham and Ecks, two puppies performing the title number, which is mostly funny because they sing like normal kidddies.. except after saying the title name with Ecks suddenly going in very low. it’s not bad. 
Finally we have Beans and Oliver Owl. Beans wants to get back at Oliver for not sharing Candy so he puts a dog and cat in his piano. It’s colossal, it’ stupendous.. it’s mediocre! As is the whole short, not bad bits, but only the title track is super memorable. It is easy to see why Porky stuck out the most though with his stutter and neat design. As mentioned it would take warner a few shorts to realize his appeal but once he did he was off to the raises and the next three shorts are all from the very next year. 
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2. The Blow Out (1936): Insert Silly Jig Music Here
This one is simple but it works: A mad bomber, what bombs in broad daylight, is setting up time bombs and being hammy. Meanwhile Porky, whose still a kid in this one, wants a big old soda float and only has half the money, but after helping a guy pick up his cane on relflex, starts helping people pick up their items. You can see where this is going and the climax is damn fun as you’d expect from Tex Avery. The runner of Porky doing a silly little dance with a catchy musical sting as he trops the pennies he gets in his pocket is also pretty neat. Not the best he’s done, given I did a whole birthday special last week he’d get much better, but still some fun silly stuff. 
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3. Plane Dippy (1936): Spin It! Even better, with a simple premise: Porky joins the army, we get some hyjinks as he does the tests and then he’s assigned to dust a remote plane that Kitty ends up accidently directing when talking to her dog. There’s some really fun screwball stuff here, though the ending is a bit weak, everything else is pretty strong. The pattern for the last three holds: not the best thing i’ve seen from Disney, Warner or MGM, but pretty neat. 
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4. Porky In The North Woods (1936): Turtle Paddlin
This one’s a disney style picture as Porky sets up an animal refuge, only for an egotistical hunter to outright ignore his signs and presumed legal right and set up traps then try and kill Porky for daring to. undo his traps.. in an area outright labeled as an animal sanctuary. I’d say just hunt somewhere else but as the modern republican party has proven Stubborn assholes afraid of change won’t just go away or obey the law. The animals return Porky’s kindness by kicking hte guys ass, the best bit being some turtles grabbing some paddles and giving him what for, to the point I screencapped that bit specically.
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But other than the Climax it’s just alright, but the hammy villian does help elevate this one. 
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5. Porky’s Romance: I made a Huge Mistake
This one was one I picked out I knew wasn’t on Max but curious about Petunia’s first apperance, I added it to the rotation anyway. 
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I’m not sugarcoating it because this short dosen’t deserve it: This is the worst of the shorts i’m covering here today. It is pure awful distlend into 7 LONG minutes. 
As some of you may recall, back when I did my first shortravaganza for Donald Ducks birthdy, I reviewed Donald’s Diary, the last Daisy short and one with some pretty cute Donsy stuff but ends with him reconsidering proposal like a jackass because he asasumes marriage will be terrible and she’ll turn abusive and “GASP” make him do chores like a responsible partner. It’s one half a good short, and one half a really bad short. 
You want to see the truly terrible version of that done years earlier, on less of a budget and only satisfying at hte very end? No. Well I didn’t either but that’s what I got. The short starts okay, with a bit introducing Petunia in am eta way. But the short itself after that little meta bit?
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The short has Porky lovingly picking out choclates and a ring for Petunia. Petunia in this short.. is a horrible monster who dismisses him out of hand and only lets him court her to get his choclate, her dog barks at him trying to get some, so their all assholes, and she outright laughs at his proposal. 
It’s here where I needed a trigger warning, as Porky tries to kill himself over it. So we have a woman using a prospective partner for finacials and her real intentions driving him to suicide. I.. why would you put this in here. How is this funny? or entertaining? Or anything I want to watch in a looney tune? I don’t want to watch Porky get depressed and try and hang himself. No one wants that and if you do, please get some help. 
He hten has a dream, hence the comparison, of an awful wedded life with Petunia where he does everything, and she GASPS puts on weight.. even though...
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He wakes up, finds Petunia likes him now but leaves, takes the choclates and kicks the dog. Haha he’s sitll not a good person. 
As you can tell, this short is throughly miserable. It’s not funny, it’s not tearjerking, it uses sucicide for some reason and takes a dark tone, and is VERY sexist saying “Well women be like this you know” it feels like. It also makes VERY light of domestic abuse, and while that was the style at the time it dosen’t make it any better. Tackling either suicide or domestic abuse is fine, their very important issues.. but don’t put them in your looney tune, for god’s sake. I do not get the tone they were going for but I hate it. I HATE THIS ONE. Do not watch it it bad. Let’s please move on. 
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6. Porky’s Garden (1937): It’s A Me! An Itallian Sterotype!
My good friend Emma, whose now one of my patreons, picked this one mostly because it popped up on youtube when she did a youtube search. ironically she herself is itallian and i’m 100% convinced she had no idea what this cartoon contained: Porky versus an itallian sterotype for a county fair prize. Now is this the worst thing Looney Tunes has done? Nope the censored eleven exist, Porky’s Romance exists and Loontics unleashed exists, so i’ts not the worst but it’s still just very cringe inducing that the only joke the guy has is “laugh at the evil foreigners funny accent” It’s not very good, not worht your time, and has weird popeye joke for some reason. 
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7. The Case of the Stuttering Pig (1937): The Creampuff in the Third Row This one could’ve been done for Halloween, as Porky deals with a lawyer turned into a monster stalking him and Petunia.. whose possibly his sister here which somehow makes Porky’s romance even worse but given the unviersal adaptor cast of the looney tunes, i’m assuming it wasn’t. That short is horrible enough own without that little chesnut. The short is dripping with atmosphere but on the whole is just okay, though the runner about the villain insulting a guy in row three only for that guy to get even at the end and save the pigs is pretty great not going to lie. 
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8. What Price, Porky? (1938): Daffy!
I purposefully chose not to have as little of other looney tunes as possible, in order to make this Porky’s day. As you can tell for the most part that’s been a mistake but even the one with Daffy is just okay, but at least has a creative premise. Porky is a farmer, a surprisingly common theme, and some local ducks are stealing his Chicken’s corn. So while he tries to ask them nicely not to, the general, played by daffy, attacks. Sadly he’s barely in it but we do get some neat gags and it’s far more of a ride than the last few. The ending is bad, the ducks win despite being the antagonists, but still pretty fun. Thankfully we’ll be getting more Daffy in April. 
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9. Porky’s Hare Hunt: Halfway To Bugs
As you can tell this day ended up being kind of a disapointment: Porky just isn’t the most intresting leading man and ended up working better as a straight man.  I still genuinely love the character, but it’s clear there was only so much you could do with him in the lead and by the end here, he was either being sidelined so Chuck Jones could do something else like the last one or made the foil to someone goofier often daffy but our last two, and today’s two best, this one being secon dbest, prove whyt hey’ve stuck to that since. 
This one has him hunting a Rabbit whose a bit nuts and utterly delightful, a prottype for bugs.. and for woody woodpecker, whose va he shared, and Screwball Squirreel. THANKS...FOR...THAT... but unlike screwy, this rabbit at least is being hunted, so we get a fun breezy short with some goofy antics and a loveable protgangsit going up against Porky as the antagonist. Good stuff. 
10. Porky in Wackyland: Ending on a High
As I said this ended up being kind of a slog. I wanted to honor Porky by showing his solo career and instead found it dated with a few good shorts.. but only a few really held a candle to the disney stuff going on at the time or the warner stuff to come later like Porky’s Hare Hunt and the Blow Out. Otherwise it’s pretty standard outside of the previous entry.. and there’s only one true masterpiece. This one. Porky in Wackland. 
Porky in Wackland is just Bob Clampett going nuts for 7 minutes and it’s glorious to watch. Porky is hutning for the last Dodo and ends up in the utterly deranged and wonderous wacky land. The only bit that does not work in this entire 7 minute orgy of weirdness is a refrence to the jazz singer with a creature screaming mammy that’s a slight caracture of a black person. I’ve seen much worse but i’ts still eesh. But unlike some shorts, that dosen’t slow it down for long and it’s almost etnirely just fun, utterly batshit stuff and a great chase with the dodo himself at the end and one hell of a warner brothers logo gag. Check this one out, it’s admired for a reason. Tremendous stuff. Should be on max with.. that bit.. edited out. 
So that was a look into Porky’s solo career and yeah, I can see why he’s better as a straight man. I still love the guy though and he has lasted as long as his brothers while others from this time were forgotten> He’s still a good character.. he’s just better paired with Daffy or someone else, part of a team. As a solo act.. he’s just okay but as part of a group.. he’s sensational. 
If you liked this review, reblog it, follow me for more and join my patreon. Until then...
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The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 5
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(Y/n)'s POV
I have weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.
I must've woken up several times, but what I hear and see makes no sense, so I just pass out again. I remember lying in a soft bed and spoon-fed something that tasted like (Favorite/Food), only it's like pudding. The girl with curly blond hair hovers over me, smirking as she scrapes drips off my chin with the spoon.
When she sees my eyes open, she asks, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"
"What?" I manage to croak.
She looks around, as is afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"
"I'm sorry," I slur, "I don't . . ."
Somebody knocks on the door, and the girl quickly fills my mouth with the pudding.
. . .
The next time I wake up, the girl is gone.
A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stands in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He has blue eyes - at least a dozen of them - on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.
When I come around for good, there is nothing weird about my surroundings, except they are nicer than I am used to. I am sitting in a deck chair next to Percy - who was looking at me with concern - on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smells like strawberries. There is a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that is great, but my mouth feels like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue is dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.
On the table next to me is a tall drink. It looks like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol sticks through a maraschino cherry.
My hand is so weak I almost drop the glass once I get my fingers around it.
"Careful," says a voice.
Grover is leaning against the porch railing, looking as though he hadn't slept in a week. Under one arm, he cradles a shoebox. He is wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops, and a bright orange t-shirt that says CAMP HALF-BLOOD.
"You two saved my life," Grover says. "I...well, the least I could do...I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."
Reverently, he places the shoebox in Percy's lap.
Inside is a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood.
It hadn't been a nightmare. My mother was gone.
"The Minotaur," Percy asks.
"Um, Percy, it isn't a good idea -" Grover gets cut off.
"That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" Percy demands. "The Minotaur. Half man, half bull."
Grover shifts uncomfortably. "You two have been out for two days. How much do you remember?"
"Mom," I say softly. "Is she really . . ."
Grover looks down.
I stare across the meadow. There is a grove of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley is surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, is the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looks beautiful in the sunlight.
My mother is gone . . .
Nothing should look beautiful. The whole world should be black and cold.
"I'm sorry," Grover sniffs. "I'm a failure. I'm - I'm the worst satyr in the world." He groans, stomping his food so hard it comes off. I mean, the Converse hi-top comes off. The inside is filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole. "Oh, Styx!" he mumbles.
Thunder rolls across the clear sky.
Mom had really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.
Percy and I are alone. Orphans. We would have to live with . . . Smelly Gabe? No. I'd live on the streets first.
Grover is still sniffling.
Percy says, "It wasn't your fault."
"Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you."
"Did our mother ask you to protect me?"
"No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least . . . I was."
"But why . . ." Percy begins and I suddenly feel dizzy, my vision swimming.
"Don't strain yourself," Grover says. "Here."
He helps me hold my glass and puts the straw to my lips.
I recoil at the taste because I was expecting apple juice. It isn't that at all. It's chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. But not just any cookies - Mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. Drinking it, my whole body feels warm and good, full of energy. My grief doesn't go away, but I feel as if Mom had just brushed her hand lovingly against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was upset and told me everything was going to be okay.
Before I know it, I'd drained the glass. I stare into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.
"Was it good?" Grover asks.
I nod.
"What did it taste like?"
"Chocolate-chip cookies," I reply and Percy looks at me knowingly. "Mom's. Homemade."
He takes the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it's dynamite, and sets it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting.
3rd Person POV
The porch wraps all the way around the farmhouse.
Percy's legs feel wobbly, trying to walk that far, and (Y/n), though her legs feel like Jello, had moved to support her brother. Grover offers to carry the Minotaur horn, but Percy holds onto it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I'm not going to let it go.
As the trio comes around the opposite end of the house, (Y/n) catches her breath.
Percy's POV
We must be on the north shore of Long Island because on this side of the house, the valley marches all the way up to the water, which glitters about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply can't process everything I'm seeing. The landscape is dotted with buildings that look like ancient Greek architecture—an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena—except that they all look brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school–age kids and satyrs play volleyball. Canoes glide across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's are chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shoot targets at an archery range. Others ride horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I'm hallucinating, some of their horses have wings.
Down at the end of the porch, two men sit across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoonfed (Y/n) is leaning on the porch rail next to them.
The man facing me is small, but porky. He has a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it's almost poker. He looks like those painting of baby angles - cherubs. He looks like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park. He is wearing a tiger-patterned Hawaiian shirt, and he would fit right in at one of Gabe's poker parties, except I get the feeling that this guy could out-gamble even my step-father.
"That's Mr. D," Grover mutters to me and (Y/n). "He's the camp director. Be polite. That girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron . . . "
He points at the guy whose back is to me.
First, I realize he's sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognize the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, and the scraggly beard.
"Mr. Brunner!" I cry.
The Latin teacher turns and smiles at me, then looks curiously at (Y/n), who is still supporting some of my weight. His eyes have that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulls a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers B.
"Ah, good, Percy," he says. "Now we have four for pinochle."
He offers me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looks at me, then (Y/n), who is leaning against my chair, with bloodshot eyes, and heaves a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to the glad to see you."
"Percy, why don't you introduce me?" Mr. Burnner says, sending a soft smile towards (Y/n).
"Oh, this is my twin sister, (Y/n)," Percy says.
(Y/n)'s POV
I smile and wave shyly.
"It's nice to meet you, sir," I say. "Percy's told me a lot about you. Even said you were his favorite teacher."
A warmer smile spreads across Mr. Brunner's face and then he turns. "Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner calls to the blond girl.
She comes forward and Mr. Brunner introduces us. "This young lady nursed you back to health, (Y/n). Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy and (Y/n)'s bunks? We'll be putting them in Cabin Eleven for now."
"Sure, Chiron," Annabeth replies.
She's probably about my age, maybe an inch or two taller, and a whole more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she is almost exactly when I think a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruin the image. They are startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she's analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.
She glances down at the Minotaur horn in Percy's hands then looks back up at me. She says, "You drool when you sleep." My cheeks take on a slight red tinge as she sprints off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.
"So," Percy says, looking anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"
"Not Mr. Brunner," not Mr. Brunner says. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron."
"Okay," Percy says, looking totally confused, then looking at the director. "And Mr. D . . . does that stand for something?"
Mr. D stops shuffling the cars. He looks at Percy like he'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason.
"Oh. Right. Sorry."
"I must say, Percy," Chiron - Brunner breaks in, "I'm glad to see you alive, and the chance to meet your sister. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."
"House call?" I ask, interested.
"My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct Percy. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met him. He sensed he was something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to...ah, take a leave of absence."
"You came to Yancy just to teach me?" Percy asks.
Chiron nods. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood, and then we learned of Miss (Y/n), here." He nods to me. "But you still had so much to learn, Percy. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."
"Grover," Mr. D says impatiently, "are you playing or not?"
Percy's POV
"Yes, sir!" Grover trembles as he takes the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.
"You do know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyes me suspiciously.
"I'm afraid not," I answer.
"I'm afraid not, sir," he corrects.
"Sir," I repeat, liking the camp director less and less.
"Well," he tells me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules"
"I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron says.
"Please," I plead, "what is this place? What are we doing here? Mr. Brun— Chiron—why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"
Mr. D snorts. "I asked the same question."
The camp director deals the cards; Grover flinches every time one lands in his pile.
Chiron smiles at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected me to have the right answer.
"Percy," Chiron prompts. "Did your mother tell you nothing?"
"She said . . ." (Y/n) begins and I remember her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told us she was afraid to send us here, even though our father had wanted her to. She said that once we were here, we probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep us close to her."
"Typical," Mr. D says. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"
"What?" I ask.
He explains, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.
"I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron says. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient.
"Orientation film?" (Y/n) asks, quirking an eyebrow.
"No," Chiron decides. "Well, Percy, (Y/n). You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know -" he points to the horn in the shoebox - "that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either. What you may not know is that the great powers are at work. Gods - the forces you call the Greek gods - are very much alive."
I stare at the others around the table.
I wait for somebody to yell, Not! but all I get is Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackles as he tallies up his points.
"Mr. D," Grover asks timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?"
"Eh? Oh, all right."
Grover bites a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chews it.
"Wait," I tell Chiron as (Y/n) sits down on the edge of my chair. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."
"Well, now," Chiron says. "God—capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."
"Metaphysical? But you were just talking about—"
"Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."
"Smaller?"
"Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class.
"Zeus," I say. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."
And there it was again—distant thunder on a cloudless day.
"Young man," says Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around if I were you."
"But they're stories," I say. "They're—myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."
"Science!" Mr. D scoff. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"—I flinch when he says my real name, which I never told anybody—"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continues. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals—they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."
"Percy," Chiron says, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"
"You mean, whether people believed in you or not," (Y/n) says.
"Exactly," Chiron agrees. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you Perseus and (Y/n) Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth, just created to explain how children can get over losing their mothers."
My heart pounds. He's trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. I say, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."
"Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmurs. "Before one of them incinerates you."
Grover pleads, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."
"A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbles, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe!" He waves his hand and a goblet appears on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet fills itself with red wine.
"You're Dionysus," (Y/n) says and Mr. D looks at her. "The god of wine."
Mr. D nods then stares at me as I say, "You're a god."
"Yes, child."
"A god. You."
He turns to look at me straight on, and I see a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man is only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I see visions of grapevines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turn to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I know that if I push him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a straitjacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.
"Would you like to test me, child?" he says quietly.
"No. No, sir."
The fire dies a little; he turns back to his card game. "I believe I win."
"Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron says. He sets down a straight, tallies the points, and says, "The game goes to me."
I think Mr. D is going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighs through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He gets up, and Grover rises, too.
"I'm tired," Mr. D says. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."
Grover's face beads with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."
Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners." He sweeps into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.
"Will Grover be okay?" I ask Chiron.
Chiron nods, though he looks a little troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been . . . ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."
"Mount Olympus," I say. "You're telling me there is really a palace there?"
"Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do."
"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like...in America?"
"The what?"
"Western civilization?" (Y/n) guesses and Chiron nods for her to continue. "It started in Greece, then spread to Rome, right?"
"That's correct, Miss (Y/n)," Chiron says.
"And then they died?" I ask, looking between my Latin teacher and my sister.
"Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course, they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not—and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either —America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."
"Who are you, Chiron? Who . . . who am I? Who . . . who are we?"
Chiron smiles. He shifts his weight as if he was going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I know that was impossible. He's paralyzed from the waist down.
"Who are you?" he muses. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate."
And then he does rise from his wheelchair. But there's something odd about the way he did it. His blanket falls away from his legs, but the legs don't move. His waist keeps getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I think he's was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he keeps rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realize that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair isn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg comes out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.
I stare at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.
"You're a centaur!" (Y/n) says in awe, and Chiron's eyes sparkle with amusement as he nods.
"What a relief," the centaur says. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy and (Y/n) Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."
Word Count: 3702 words
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kookie-doughs · 3 years
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Y/N L/N AND THE HALFBLOODS
Percy Jackson X Reader -Y/N L/N met Percy Jackson and everything was now ruined.
CHAPTER 5: COMING TO CAMP
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I woke up feeling sore all over, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered popcorn, only it was pudding. A short-cropped blonde haired guy hovered over me, looking down at me. When he saw my eyes open, he asked, "How are you feeling?" I managed to croak, "What?" "Are you feeling better?" "I guess," I mumbled, "I don't... where's Percy?" Somebody knocked on the door, and the guy slowly set the pudding down. "I'll see you when you're better." He smiled. The next time I woke up, the guy was gone.
When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surroundings, except that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a deck chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries. There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt. On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry. My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it. "You're awake," a voice said. A blonde girl was leaning against the porch railing, looking tired and done. She was wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMPHALF-BLOOD. "I should call the others," she said. "Where's Percy?" "He's talking with Mr. D." "Is he well?" "You've been through worse," She said with her eyebrows knitted(?). "And the first thing you ask is your friend?" "Percy, should—" "I'll tell the others." She looked at me one last time and left. I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight. Without Percy's presence I was reminded of everything I lost. Everyone I care about. "Hey," A voice behind me called. "Annabeth passed by and told me you're awake. Feeling better?" "Oh, hey." I smiled weakly. "Feelin real peachy." "Luke, Luke Castellan." "Y/N L/N..." We stayed quiet for a minute. "I'm sorry for what happened. I don't exactly know what went on but..." Looking at him, I gave him a sad smile, "Thanks... I guess. Even I'm not sure what went on honestly... I don't know what's going on." "Well, I'm not exactly much of an explainer so, we just gotta wait for Chiron." "I... remember everything. From the moment the sea pulled me, to loosing my parents and dog, to bringing us here... I just... don't understand..." I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming. "Don't strain yourself," Luke said. "Here." He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to my lips. I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was (Favorite Food or F/F). Liquid F/F. And not just any F/F—my mom and dad's special F/F. Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but I felt as if my mom and dad had just pet my head, fed me F/F the way they used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to be okay. Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted. "Was it good?" Luke asked. I nodded. "Are you feeling better now? "Yeah," I said. "Thanks." "That's good," he said. "That's good. I don't think you could risk drinking any more of that stuff." "What do you mean?" He took the empty glass from me, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table. "Y/N!" I turned to the voice and saw Grover. "Hey, Luke." "I'll take it they want her?" Grover nodded. "I'll see you later." Luke smiled and ruffled my hair, then left me with Grover. Grover watched Luke leave then turned to me, "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting." The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse. My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. I asked him where Percy was and he said he was already there. As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath. We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing. The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture—an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena—except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings. "Y/N!!" I was engulfed and tackled which almost made me fall. Percy looked at me with sad eyes, holding unto the Minotaur horn. He looked tired and sick. "Are you okay Percy?" He nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl that I woke up to was leaning on the porch rail next to them. The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby angels— what do you call them, hubbubs? No, cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park. He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt. "Hate to break your touching reunion but we were talking." The man said. "That's Mr. D," Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron..." He pointed at the guy whose back was to me. First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard. "Mr. Brunner!" I cried. The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. "Ah, good, Y/N," he said. "You're awake. Percy couldn't focus since he was worried of you. He woke up an hour before you. Care for a game of pinochle?" He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and heaved a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to be glad to see you." "Uh, thanks." I turned to Percy who looked at me confusedly as well. "Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl. She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. "This young lady and Luke nursed you back to health, Y/N. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy and Y/N's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now." Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron." She was probably my age, maybe same height, and a whole lot more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight. She glanced at the minotaur horn in Percy's hands, then back at him. I felt a bit iffy and got closer to Percy. She turned to me and said, "You should thank Luke." Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her. "So," Percy said, anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?". "Not Mr. Brunner," the ex—Mr. Brunner said. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron." "Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D ... does that stand for something?" Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young woman, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason." "Oh. Right. Sorry." "I must say, Percy, Y/N," Chiron-Brunner broke in, "I'm glad to see you both alive. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time. And I am quite surprise to recruit two." "House call?" "Recruit two?" "My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to ... ah, take a leave of absence. And when the mist hadn't worked on Y/N, Grover and I thought she saw through the mist." "Mist?" "It's... something." "You came to Yancy just to teach me?" Percy asked. Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test. As for Y/N..." He looked at me skeptically then to Mr. D. "You're... still scentless." "Grover," Mr. D said impatiently, "are you playing or not?" "Yes, sir!" Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt. "You do know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyed me suspiciously. "I'm afraid not," I said. "I'm afraid not, sir," he said. "Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less. "Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules." "I'm sure the girl can learn," Chiron said. "The other kid was bad, I doubt this one can do better." "Please," Percy said pulling me closer to him, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun—Chiron—why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?" Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question." The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in his pile. Chiron smiled at us sympathetically. "Percy," he said. "Did your mother tell you nothing?' "She said... She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her." "And you?" He turned to me. "Nothing like this ever happened... Everything was normal." "Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young lady, are you bidding or not?" "What?" I asked. He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did. "I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient." "Orientation film?" Percy asked. "No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know"—he pointed to the horn in the shoe box—"that you and Y/N have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods—the forces you call the Greek gods—are very much alive." I stared at the others around the table. I waited for somebody to yell, Not! But all I got was Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points. "Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?" "Eh? Oh, all right." Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully. "Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God." "Well, now," Chiron said. "God—capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical." "Metaphysical? But you were just talking about—" "Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter." "Smaller?" "Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class." "Zeus," Percy said. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them." And there it was again—distant thunder on a cloudless day. "Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around, if I were you." "But they're stories," Percy said. "They're—myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science." "Science!" Mr. D scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"—I felt Percy flinched when he was called—"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals—they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me." I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as if... he wasn't. It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut. "Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?" "You mean, whether people believed in you or not," Percy said. "Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call you and Y/N a myth, just created to explain how children can get over losing their parents?" My heart pounded. He was trying to make us angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. Gripping on Percy I said, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods." "Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you." Grover said, "P-please, sir. She's just lost her family. She's in shock." "A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with kids who don't even believe.'" He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine. My jaw dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up. "Mr. D," he warned, "your restrictions." Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise. "Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!" More thunder. Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game. Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits." "A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space. "Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time—well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay away—the second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha.' Absolutely unfair." Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little kid. "And ..." Percy stammered, "your father is ..." "Di immortales, Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is Zeus, of course." I ran through D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger. The satyrs that all seemed to work here. The way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master. "You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine." Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, 'Well, duh!'?" "Y-yes, Mr. D." "Then, well, duh! Y/N L/N. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?" "You're a god." "Yes, child." "A god. You." He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a strait-jacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life. "Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly. "No. No, sir." The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win." "Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me." I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He got up, and Grover rose, too. "I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment." Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir." Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson, Y/N L/N. And mind your manners." He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably. "Will Grover be okay?" Percy asked Chiron. Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been ... ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus." "Mount Olympus," Percy said. "You're telling me there really is a palace there?" "Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do." "You mean the Greek gods are here? Like... in America?" "Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West." "The what?" "Come now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know—or as I hope you know, since you passed my course—the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps—Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on—but the same forces, the same gods." "And then they died." "Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in RockefellerCenter, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not—and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either—America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here." It was all too much, especially the fact that I seemed to be included in Chiron's we, as if I were part of some club. "Who are you, Chiron? Who... who am I? I-Is Y/N?" Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight as if he were going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down. "Who are you?" he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. I believe Y/N had met one of them, Luke Castellan. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate." And then he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg came out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.. I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk. "What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson, Y/N L/N. Let's meet the other campers." I took Percy's hand, anxious of what is coming.
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gaycocksmodels64 · 4 years
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Straight Big peewee Boy Got play Oak Creek
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FIND MIRROR DOWNLOAD / WATCH 22 Sep 1991 . Carlo) was a possible girlfriends, and Jambi was played as a dishy gay man. Pee-wee'S Big Adventure Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment Porky'S Revenge! Which the 38-year-old actor pondered life after Pee-wee, thought about other characters, . There is no question that it is played for humor, but there is also no. 30 Mar 2016 . The girls of the North in the gay fin-e-ree The Reclines regularly played Edmonton'S popular Sidetrack Cafe, a local. During the summer months, large mouth, small mouth, and striped bass, . om/insights/article/is-pee-wee-herman-gay Lang - Wikipedia Song Lyrics Charts, Jim'S Roots Blues Calendar Lang is also known for being an animal rights, gay rights, and Tibetan human . Straight Actors Who Have Played Gay Characters. 27 Nov 2016 . Yes, cockney rhyming slang is a foreign. Complete Dictionary of Cockney Rhyming Slang - Happy2Move She is a tantric practitioner of the old school of Tibetan Buddhism. Makes my gun shoot straight and true. be told that (Pee-wee) is an best, and while he can play children'S parts on television, . In 1985 the character starred in Tim Burton'S debut feature film Pee-Wee'S Big . - Sun Sentinel WHO KILLED PEE-WEE HERMAN? Up the Creek . Big Muscle A "Blue boy" Wing to the playhouse out of fruitcakes) furthered this interpretation. Does Pee-Wee'S Big Holiday finally answer the question: Is Pee-wee . Armstrong Woods State Park (Self-guided trails in old growth redwoods) and Visitor'S . Comedy films are separated into two categories: Short . Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! This is a list of American comedy films. 16 Aug 1991 . Incorporating clips from vintage cartoons and old educational films, newly produced . An attorney active in gay-rights issues) and Luke, put on shows in the family basement. "Pee-Wee'S Big Holiday" Has an Answer . And straight and gay sexuality, in the persons of the Playhouse guests. So there is a tendency to read characters as straight unless we'Re told otherwise. Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'M not turning . And the tears that I cried for that woman are gonna flood you Big River. Anonymous View The 40-Year-Old young Adam Steve American Pie Presents: Band Camp Are We. An best playing a child, he needed to be punished like a child for acting like an best. That means I know my Bottle and Glass from my Beggar Boy'S my - and neither mean what you think they might! om/lyrics-and-charts/ The beauty of Guerneville is that gay and straight are not distinctions that . List of American comedy films - Wikipedia But the old man kept on aplaying at his reel . Charming small town with lots of shops, restaurants, bars, pee wee golf, bike rentals, . Om/article/1991/08/16/pee-wee-herman-scandal/ Unsold Pee-wee Herman dolls became orphans. The Pee-Wee Herman scandal, And all I got to do is act naturally. Kathryn Dawn Lang OC AOE (Born November 2, 1961), known by her stylized stage name . As a young child, she was signed by the Ford Modeling Agency and, at the age of six, she was cast as "Opal" On Pee-wee'S Playhouse (1986), . The Pee-Wee Herman scandal -- The kid-show star'S indecent exposure arrest became the summer'S biggest show-biz story. Is Pee-Wee Herman Gay? We'Ll make a . telling his femme pursuer, You don'T wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. Guerneville, Russian River Getaways Pee-Wee'S Playhouse, Television Academy Interviews
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inkyardpress · 7 years
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Excerpt: Daughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody
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CHAPTER ONE
I peek from behind the tattered velvet curtains at the chattering audience, their mouths full of candied pineapple and kettle corn. With their pale faces flushed from excitement and the heat, they look as gullible as dandelions, much like the patrons in the past five cities. The Gomorrah Festival hasn’t been permitted to travel this far north in the Up-Mountains in over three years, and these people look like they’re attending the opera or the theater rather than our traveling carnival of debauchery.
The women wear frilly dresses in burnt golds and oranges, buckled to the point of suffocation, some with rosy-cheeked children bouncing on their laps, others with cleavage as high as their chins. The men have shoulder pads to seem broader, stilted loafers to seem taller and painted silver pocket watches to seem richer.
If buckles, stilts and paint are enough to hoodwink them, then they won’t notice that the eight “freaks” of my freak show are, in fact, only one.
Tonight’s mark, Count Pomp-di-pomp—or is it Count Pomp-von-Pompa?—smokes an expensive pipe in the second row, his mustache gleaming with leftover saffron honey from the pastry he had earlier. He’s sitting too close to the front, which won’t make it easy for Jiafu to steal the count’s ring.
That’s where I come in.
My job is to distract the audience so that Pomp-di-pomp doesn’t notice Jiafu’s shadow-work coaxing the sapphire ring off of his porky finger and dropping it onto the grass below.
A drum and fiddle play an entrancing Down-Mountain tune to quiet the audience’s chatter, and I let the curtain fall, blocking my view. The Gomorrah Festival Freak Show will soon begin.
This is my favorite part of the performance: the anticipation. The drumbeats pound erratically, as if dizzy from drinking several mugs of the Festival’s spiced wine. Everything sticks in this humid air: the aromas of carnival food, the gray smoke that shrouds Gomorrah like a cloak and the jittery intakes of breath from the audience, wondering whether the freak show will prove as gruesome as the sign outside promised:
The Gomorrah Festival Freak Show.
Walk the line between abnormal and monstrous.
From the opposite end of the stage, behind the curtain on stage right, Nicoleta nods at me. I reach for the rope and yank down. The pulley spins and whistles, and the curtain rises.
Nicoleta struts—a very practiced, rigid strut—into the spotlight, her heels clicking and the slit in her gown revealing a lacy violet garter at the curve of her thigh. When I first created her three years ago, she had knee-shaking stage fright, and I needed to control her during the show like a puppet. Now she’s so accustomed to her role that I turn away, unneeded, and tie on my best mask. Rhinestones of varying sizes and shades of red cover it, from the curled edges near my temples to the tip of my nose. I need to dazzle, after all.
“Welcome to the Gomorrah Festival Freak Show,” Nicoleta says.
The audience gawks at her. Like the particular Up-­Mountainers in this city, and unlike any of the other members of my family, Nicoleta has fair skin. Freckles. Pale brown hair draped to her elbows. Skinny wrists and skinnier, child-like legs. Many members of Gomorrah have Up-Mountain heritage, whether obvious or diluted, but these northern city dwellers always expect the enticingly unfamiliar: sensual, audacious and wild.
The audience’s expressions seem to say, Poor, lost girl, what are you doing working at Gomorrah? Where are your parents? Your chaperone? You can’t be more than twenty-two.
“I am Nicoleta, the show’s manager, and I hope you’re enjoying your first Gomorrah Festival in...three years, I hear?”
The audience stiffens; they stop fanning themselves, stop chewing their candied pineapple. I curse under my breath. Nicoleta has a knack—a compulsion, really—for saying the wrong thing. This is the Festival’s first night in Frice, a city-state known—like many others—for its strict religious leaders and disapproval of the Gomorrah lifestyle. Three years ago, a minor rebellion in the Vurundi kingdom ousted the Frician merchants from power there. Despite quickly reclaiming its tyrannous governorships, and despite Gomorrah’s utter lack of involvement, Frice decided to restrict the Festival’s traveling in this region. I can’t have Nicoleta scaring away our few visitors by reminding them that their city officials disapprove of them being here, even at an attraction as innocent as a freak show.
“For those of you with weaker constitutions, I suggest you exit before our opening act,” Nicoleta says. Her tone rises and falls at the proper moments. The theatrics of her performance in our show are the opposite of Nicoleta’s role in our family, which Unu and Du have dubbed “stick in the bum.” Every night, she manages to transform—or, better put, improve—her entire demeanor for the sake of the show, since her own abilities are too unreliable to deserve an act. Some days, she can pull our caravans better than our two horses combined. Others, she needs Tree to open our jars of lychee preserves.
“The sights you are about to witness are shocking, even monstrous,” she continues. A young boy in the front row clings to his mother, pulling at her puffed, apricot sleeves. “Children, cover your eyes. Parents, beware. Because the show is about to begin.”
While the audience leans forward in their seats, I prepare for the upcoming act by picturing the Strings, as I call them. I have almost two hundred Strings, glowing silver, dragging behind me as I walk, like the train of a fraying gown. Only I can see them and, even then, only when I focus. I mentally reach down and pluck out four particular Strings and circle them around my hands until they’re taut. The others remain in a heap on the wooden floor.
“I’d like to introduce you to a man found within the faraway Forest of Ruins,” Nicoleta lies. Backstage, Hawk stops playing the fiddle, and Unu and Du reduce the tempo on their drums. I yank on the Strings to command my puppet.
Thump. Thump.
The audience gasps as the Human Tree stomps onto the stage. His skin is made entirely of bark, and his midsection measures as wide as a hundred-year-old oak trunk. It’s difficult to make out his facial features in the twisted lumps of wood, except for his sunken, beetle-black eyes and emptiness of expression. Leaves droop from the branches jutting out from his shoulders, adding several feet to his already daunting stature. His fingers curl into splintery twigs as he waves hello.
From backstage, my hand waves, as well. If I don’t control Tree, he’ll scream profanity that will make half these fancy ladies faint. If he works himself into a real tantrum, he’ll tear off the bark on his stomach until blood trickles out like sap.
His act begins, which is mostly him stomping around and grunting, and me yanking this way and that on his Strings to make him do so. I crafted him when I was three years old, before I considered the performance potential of my illusions.
The six other illusions wait with me backstage.
Venera, the boneless acrobat more flexible than a dripping egg yolk, brushes rouge on her painted white cheeks at a vanity. She pouts in the mirror and then pushes aside a strand of dark hair from her face. She’s beautiful, especially in her skintight, black-and-purple-striped suit. Every night, the audience practically drools over her...until they watch her body flatten into a puddle or her arms roll up like a croissant.
Beside her, Crown files the fingernails that grow from his body where hair should be. He keeps the nails on his arms and legs smooth, giving him a scaly look, but he doesn’t touch the ones on his hands and head, which are curled, yellow daggers as long as butcher knives. Though Crown was my second illusion, made ten years ago, he appears to be seventy-five. He always smokes a cigar before his performance so his gentle voice will sound as prickly as his skin.
Hawk plays the fiddle in an almost spiritual concentration while what’s left of a chipmunk—dinner—hangs out of her mouth. Her brown wings are tucked under her fuchsia cape, where they will remain until she unfolds them during her act, screeches and flies over the—usually shrieking—audience. Her talons pluck at the fiddle’s strings at an incomparable speed. Her ultimate goal is to challenge the devil himself to a fiddle contest, and she figures by traveling with the world’s most famous festival of depravity, she’s bound to run into him one day.
Blister, the chubby one-year-old, plays with the beads dangling off of Unu and Du’s drum. Rather than focusing on their rhythm, Unu and Du bicker about something, per usual. Du punches Unu with their shared left arm. Unu hisses an unpleasant word loudly, which Blister then tries out for himself, missing the double s sound and saying something resembling a-owl.
Gill snaps at them all to be quiet and then resumes reading his novel. Even wearing a rusted diver’s helmet full of water, he manages to make out the words on the pages. Bubbles seep from the gills on his cheeks as he sighs. As the loner of our family, he generally prefers the quiet company of books to our boisterous, pre-show jitters. He only raises his voice during our games of lucky coins—he holds the family record for the most consecutive wins (twenty-one). I suspect he’s been cheating by allowing Hawk, Unu and Du to forfeit games on purpose in exchange for lighter homework assignments.
“Keep an eye on Blister,” I remind the boys. “Those drums are flammable.”
“Tell Unu to stuff a drumstick up his—” Du glances hesitantly at Gill “—backside.”
“That’s your backside, too, dung-brain,” Unu says.
“It’s an expression,” says Du. “I like its sentiment.”
It would hardly be a classic Gomorrah Festival Freak Show if the audience couldn’t hear my brothers tormenting each other backstage.
“I’ll stick it up both your assholes if you don’t shut it,” I say. They pay me no attention; they know I never follow through with my threats.
“A-owl,” Blister says again.
“Language, Sorina,” Gill groans.
“Shit. Sorry,” I reply, but I’m only mildly chagrined. Blister’s been hearing all our foul mouths since the day he came to be.
One by one, they perform their acts: the Boneless Acrobat; the Fingernail Mace; the Half Girl, Half Hawk; the Fire-Breathing Baby; the Two-Headed Boy; and the Trout Man. The audience roars as Hawk screeches and soars over their seats, cheers at each splash of Gill flipping in and out of his tank like a trained dolphin. They are utterly unaware that the “freaks” are actually my illusions, projected for anyone to see.
The only real freak in Gomorrah is me.
“For the finale,” Nicoleta says, as I hurriedly smooth down my shoulder-length black hair, “a mysterious performer who’s been with Gomorrah since her childhood. She’s the Girl Who Sees Without Eyes, and if you remain in your seats, she’ll reveal wonders you can see, hear, smell and even touch.”
I greet the audience as Unu and Du wheel Gill’s massive glass tank offstage. The hem of my black robes swish across the floor, and a hood drapes over all but my violet-painted lips. Count Pomp-di-pomp murmurs to the plump woman beside him, perhaps his wife. Another person Jiafu will need to sneak around during my act.
The room holds its breath as I remove the hood, only to reveal my mask.
“Take the mask off,” a man shouts from the back.
“Those who see her true face turn to stone,” says Nicoleta. Of course, that’s horseshit. I just hate the screams, same as Tree with his bark skin, Unu and Du with their two heads and Hawk with her wings and claws. As good as we have it in Gomorrah, no one wants to be a freak.
The fiddle and drums fade to silence as I raise my arms.
The tent’s ceiling and grass floor disappear, replaced with colorful galaxies so the crowd seems suspended within the cosmos. The woman beside Count Pomp-di-pomp shrieks and lifts her feet off the endless, black ground and then wipes the sweat from her forehead with her pearl-studded glove.
Nicoleta jabbers a spiel about the wonders of my sight, as if my lack of eyes allows me to see more than everyone else. Between my forehead and cheekbones is flat skin, but I can see just the same as the rest of the world. I’m an illusion-worker, the rarest form of jynx-worker, gifted in mirages real enough to touch, smell, hear and taste. My most intricate illusions are my family and the other members of the freak show: living figments of my imagination.
I’ve never met another illusion-worker—only read about them—but as far as I know, I am the only one born without eyes who relies on my jynx-work to see. No doctor or medicine man can explain how this works. Maybe I don’t see like everyone else does—it’s not as if I could test that out—but I see, color and all, and I’m not one to question things I don’t really need answers for.
I throw all of my energy into this performance, so much that my Strings are fully visible to me and tangle at my feet. I avoid moving around onstage, in case I trip. Normally, the Strings aren’t solid, but when I’m commanding this much power? My ankle just might catch, and I’ll topple into the front row.
Fabricated constellations whirl past, and the audience grips the edges of their seats. The planets orbit the room as if the tent marks the center of the universe and that universe is performing for us, its revolutions a celestial dance and me, the musician.
During my ten-minute act of shooting stars, crescent moons and burning suns, I’m too consumed by the exertion of my performance to notice if Jiafu stole Count Pomp-di-pomp’s ring. The illusion dissipates, and I lower my hands. I stare around the tent with exhilaration, and my chest heaves up and down beneath my thick robes. I was marvelous.
The audience claps. Count Pomp-di-pomp’s sapphire no longer glistens on his finger. Which means Jiafu managed to steal it undetected.
The seven other illusions join me for our final bows and farewell to the audience. Tired, I struggle to maintain control of the two more problematic illusions, Tree and Blister. One slip, and Tree could trample the audience under his clubbed feet. Or Blister could hiccup and set the tent on fire. Again.
Jiafu lurks in the back of the tent and picks his teeth with a steel comb. I avoid his gaze so the audience doesn’t turn to where I’m looking. His body is cloaked in shadow, barely visible against the black and red stripes of the tent, except for the whites of his eyes and the light reflecting off his comb. With his scarred face and patched-up clothes, he looks like a beast who just crawled out of the kennel.
The illusions exit stage left, except for me and Gill, whom I wheel in his tank to stage right. I rarely see him without his diver’s helmet, which he wears whenever outside of his tank. His chin-length black hair is suspended in the water, and his skin prunes all over, even his silver-toned face, like a piece of rotten fruit. His smile for the audience disappears the moment we’re out of sight.
“Why was Jiafu here?” he demands.
I smile and tilt my head to the side. “Who?”
Before he can answer, I slip around him backstage. I don’t feel like listening to any of his lectures tonight. I know Gill means well, but we’ve argued about Jiafu before, and we’re both more stubborn than mules and keep kicking up the same dirt. Neither of us will change our minds.
Venera is seated at her vanity, scanning her makeup collection and slathering a glittery lotion across her brown skin. As per her daily ritual, she’ll wash off her stage powder and reapply a new look for the Downhill parties later tonight. Hawk bickers with Unu and Du about which game they’ll play—chess or lucky coins. Blister reaches for his favorite top from his cauldron cradle while Crown leans forward in his chair to help him. Besides Gill, only Tree is absent—he prefers to stay outdoors when we’re not performing.
I’ve barely reached my own vanity when Nicoleta corners me.
“Why do you keep working for Jiafu?” she asks. Between her and Gill scolding me and everyone else bickering with each other, my only moments of peace are on stage. “He isn’t trust—”
“You all know why I work for him. Or am I the only one who cares about Kahina?” I tear off my mask and toss it on the vanity. The money I earn working for Jiafu goes to medicine for Kahina and her snaking sickness, a malady she’s battled for an impressive five years. Although Villiam, the owner of the Gomorrah Festival, adopted me as a young child, it was Kahina the fortune-worker who raised me. It was Kahina who taught me to play lucky coins, to love nature, to embrace being a misfit.
And while Kahina didn’t exactly raise my illusions, they love her as much as I do. She visits often with gifts of sweets and handmade knits.
Nicoleta sighs and fiddles with the ruby hairpin tucked behind her ear. “I know why, but there are safer ways to earn money, Sorina. I just don’t want Jiafu to start expecting things from you, to keep you working for him even when Kahina...gets better.”
I ignore the hesitation in her words. Kahina will improve. If the snaking sickness intended to claim her, it would have slithered its way into her heart years ago.
“Jiafu adores me,” I say. “And he’s terrified of me.”
“The way every man should see you,” Venera chimes in from beside me as she applies her signature black lipstick. I covertly hold up a hand, and she high-fives me behind my back. At least Venera is always on my side.
“Jiafu knows I’m not one of his cronies,” I tell Nicoleta.
Nicoleta purses her lips. “What if Jiafu gets caught by Up-Mountain officials?” Nicoleta is an ardent supporter of what-ifs. “He could take you down with him.”
“Could you stop? You’re giving me anxiety,” Venera and I say together.
Of all my illusions, Venera and I are the most alike. I made her to be the perfect best friend for me—fashion-savvy, fun and stop-and-stare gorgeous. The younger-looking illusions—Hawk, Unu and Du and Blister—are like my younger siblings. Crown: my grandfather. Gill: the voice of authority. Nicoleta: the bossy older sister. And Tree is...Tree.
I hunt through my various masks—all small, covering only the eye area—and select a simple one with matte sequins, a satin interior and a spider design on the top right corner. I never venture into public without a mask, where Up-Mountain children can gape while their parents call me monstrous, or an abomination, or any other colorful choice of word. I have no eyebrows, no eyes, not even indents where eyes should be. When I was younger, I tried to cast an illusion of these features, but something about the cold emptiness in my fake eyes looked even more unsettling than my normal appearance—nor could I maintain the image for more than a few minutes. Though I made peace with my face years ago, I don’t have the thickest skin—it only takes a single whisper or sickened stare to reopen old wounds.
But I have nice lips, I remind myself. I line them in blood-red lipstick, which pairs devilishly with my dark mask. My skin is fair, my straight hair so black it’s almost blue, like the people who live in the Eastern Kingdoms of the Down-Mountains. I don’t remember my home before Gomorrah, but Villiam has told me stories about how he adopted me in one of those kingdoms, and Kahina has made a point to introduce me to foods from my homeland, like sugar-coated tanghulu that a vendor sells near Skull Gate. But none of us discuss my past often; otherwise we might dwell on what my fate could have been, had Villiam not found me, an eyeless slave girl. Sometimes I wish I remembered. But when I speak to others in Gomorrah with stories like mine, I feel relieved that I don’t.
“Tonight is meant for fun,” Venera says. “Save your bickering for another time.”
She’s right. Tonight we’re all attending a show at the Menagerie, a rare, expensive treat we indulge in whenever we save enough for the tickets. The Menagerie is Gomorrah’s gaudiest, most exciting and most overpriced attraction.
Blister darts out from behind me and holds up his hand. I give him a high five. Afterward, he moves on to Venera. He does this after every show.
“Are you ready to see some tigers and dragons?” Venera asks him.
He roars in affirmation, and Venera laughs and pinches his cheek.
Crown appears in the doorway with Unu, Du and Gill—who looks rather sour—behind him. They are changed out of their costumes.
Unu and Du rub their hands together. “The cherries are on you, Sorina,” Unu says.
I lost the last game of lucky coins. “Only one bag for you guys, though.”
“But there are two of us,” Du complains.
“You’ve only got one stomach.”
“You’d hardly know that from the way they eat,” Gill mutters. He jokingly flicks Unu on his ear. Flicking is his way of showing affection.
“We should leave now, or we’ll be late,” Nicoleta says. As if anything in Gomorrah starts on schedule, or our family is ever on time.
We march out of our tent into the dense smoke of Gomorrah and head north, toward the games neighborhood. It’s a bit of a detour, but the food in that neighborhood is better than anywhere else—sticky buns that melt on your tongue, nuts dipped in honey like beetles preserved within amber, saltwater taffy you can buy by the yard. Plus, most of us can’t resist wasting a few of our coins on a game or two. Unu and Du get a kick out of having people guess their weight with their two heads. Crown has a special gift for ring toss. Nicoleta, when she’s feeling up to it, can make the bell chime when she smashes the airbag with the hammer.
My family does not go anywhere quietly. Tree’s steps thunder as if we’re walking with a crowd of one hundred rather than nine. Hawk squabbles with Unu and Du, who keep rubbing her feathers against the grain. Venera and I walk, arms linked and chatting about the yogurt face masks we might try tonight. The paths of Gomorrah are narrow and winding, sometimes only wide enough between tents for a single person to slip through. But we don’t care about stopping traffic. The residents let me pass because I’m the proprietor’s daughter, an association that brings me an uncomfortable amount of notoriety and weighty expectations. The visitors nearly lunge out of our way after one look at Unu and Du’s heads, Crown’s curling yellow scalp of nails or Tree.
We approach our favorite vendor of licorice-dipped cherries—Gomorrah’s signature treat—and Unu and Du steer us aside.
“How many bags am I buying?” I ask.
Each of them shouts how many they want.
“I’m not buying fourteen bags.” I hold up my flimsy coin purse. “You guys are milking me dry.”
Crown fishes in his pocket for change before Du stops him. “You can’t help her. She lost. Rules are rules.”
Lucky coins is a sacred game in my family.
I curse under my breath and thrust my entire savings—one week’s worth, since I can’t save anything more than a few days—into the vendor’s hands. His eyes light up as he hands us a full quarter of his stock.
Afterward, with our teeth sticky from black licorice and our lips stained red from cherry juice, we head toward the Menagerie singing one of Gomorrah’s folk songs.
Wicked, wicked to the core. The city will burn forevermore.
Or mostly singing. Unu and Du shriek to drown out Hawk, who, as always, is trying to show off her vocal range and make everyone else sound bad.
The Menagerie’s spires tower into the smoke that covers the Festival like an endless expanse of storm clouds. Its tent is so black it appears like a hole, seeping the color away from its surroundings. Pink, red and violet streamers—Gomorrah’s colors—ripple in the breeze at its peak.
The line outside snakes around the tent, and we grab a place at the end. Because the Menagerie is such a popular attraction, stands for kettle corn, palm readers and charms salesmen clutter its perimeter.
“Care for some coins?” a man asks Hawk. He bites the coin, and his teeth clack against the bronze. She turns her back to him, a pro at dealing with persistent vendors, but he continues, “Solid. Good quality. I have the Handmaiden, the Red Jester, the Harbinger—”
“We have enough coins,” Nicoleta tells him. We all know the coins sold in this part of the Festival attract more tourists than actual players. The gambling neighborhood sells the characters of real and rare value.
Perhaps it is the stern edge in Nicoleta’s voice, or perhaps the vendor knows a lost cause when he sees one, but he doesn’t pester us again, even though we remain next to his stand for several more minutes. He moves on to the Up-Mountain patrons behind us, who marvel at the thin coins and ask the vendor how to play.
“It’s your face,” Hawk tells Nicoleta. “He can see the lack of fun and warmth in your eyes.”
“I resent that,” she says.
Unu and Du tug on the sleeve of my night cloak. “Will you buy us some spiced wine?” Du whispers eagerly, his hazel eyes sparkling in the white torchlight. Unu, on the other hand, stares at their feet.
“You’re eleven,” I say.
“That’s an arbitrary number you made up.”
“Arbitrary is a big word for you.”
Du gives me one of his classic Du expressions. He leans his head back and scrunches his entire face together like he’s eaten a whole mouthful of sour-cherry drops. He uses this to feign being insulted.
Normally, I might say yes, but the spiced wine in this area of Gomorrah is highly potent—meant to get guests drunk and happy to spend. “Sorry, kiddo.” I pinch his cheek. “I’m too responsible a sister for that.”
The Menagerie tent opens three minutes later, and the queue of guests shuffles inside at an excruciatingly slow pace past the ticket booth. The entrance is a hallway lit by iron lampposts on either side so that our shadows stripe across the grass floor. In between the lamps stand taxidermied animals from the Down-Mountains. We pass an Eberian snow tiger, its pelt winter-white and its stripes hooked and curled at the points. A chimera hunches to our left, its goat and lion heads frozen in midhowl.
“You’re the goat for sure,” Du whispers to Unu.
There’s a leopard dragon, a few falcons and exotic birds, and one panda—all previous performers at the Menagerie. As a child, Villiam took me to the shows to watch the panda, who now watches us with vacant eyes.
The Up-Mountain guests point and gawk at the creatures we’ve seen a hundred times. They chatter incessantly and fan themselves, occasionally turning around to sneak peeks at us. I hear a woman say we must be in some kind of costumes. Hawk hugs her arms and her wings close to herself. Gill flicks her on the shoulder, and she manages a smile.
We have all learned—or tried to learn—to ignore the comments that follow us.
We enter the main part of the Menagerie, a huge open room with a circus ring, several trapezes and a collection of balls and hoops. My family slides into benches toward the back—we can never afford front row. The air smells of stale manure and kettle corn.
“Happy family night,” Venera says, and we raise our bags of licorice cherries in a sort of cheers.
For the next few minutes, I am caught up in the excitement of the Menagerie. I live for the anticipation of a good show. My legs twitch. I constantly change my sitting position. I eat too many of my snacks before the show even begins, and my stomach cramps from all the sugar. The others chatter to themselves about the last time we visited the Menagerie, when an acrobat broke his leg. Gill murmurs to Nicoleta—the only one who really listens to him—about the boring novel he’s reading.
Then I notice the noise outside. Shouts. Running. It grows louder, loud enough that many in the audience turn around, as if to see the commotion through the red-, pink- and purple-striped tent walls.
“Does that sound rather panicked to you?” Gill asks to my right. “Like something’s wrong?”
“I’m sure nothing’s wrong,” I say. Shouts and strange noises are business as usual in Gomorrah. Probably some drunkards passing through.
“But doesn’t it sound like something is?”
I listen closer. There are shouts. Feet running. Maybe...maybe the sound of horses, as well. I can’t be certain, but it does seem like more than a few drunkards. As the proprietor’s daughter, destined to one day become proprietor myself, I should inspect the commotion. But it’s family night. At the Menagerie. I don’t want to give up my seat. I’m sure it’s nothing important, and if it is, Villiam will take care of it anyway.
A man in a black tuxedo with a red undershirt strides into the center of the circus ring. He clears his throat, and the audience quiets. “I apologize, but the ten o’clock Menagerie show has been canceled. Tickets can be fully refunded at the booths at the north and south entrances. Please exit in an orderly fashion through the way you entered. We hope you enjoy the rest of your time at the Gomorrah Festival.”
The noise of the crowd immediately grows into an uproar. Among the shouts and complaints, Unu and Du’s and Hawk’s are some of the loudest.
“That’s rubbish,” Du sulks. “Our show is never canceled.”
“It’s probably from whatever is happening outside,” Gill says. “It mustn’t be anything good.”
“You’re right,” Nicoleta says. She stands. “We should leave now. Before the rush.”
Most of the audience remains in their seats, as if sitting around long enough will bring the manager back and force him to start the show. But the manager nearly sprinted out of the circus ring, so I doubt anyone will return. Clearly whatever is happening is important.
I grab my bag of licorice cherries and try not to let the true extent of my disappointment show. This is the Menagerie. What sort of pandemonium does it take to shut down Gomorrah’s biggest attraction?
“We better hurry if we don’t want to stand in line for the rest of the night waiting for our money back,” Nicoleta tells us.
We gather our few belongings and file out of the stands. The audience crowds in the hallway, and the eight of us link arms—Nicoleta carries Blister—to avoid losing each other. Once we approach the exit, the commotion grows louder.
Screams.
“What’s going on?” Hawk asks. “Tree, can you see anything?”
Tree doesn’t answer. He swats at a fly buzzing around his leaves.
“It’s officials,” the man in front of us says.
“Officials? Like Frician city officials?” I ask, confused. “What are they doing at the Festival?” They allowed us to come to Frice. Have they changed their minds? Will they force us to leave? It wouldn’t be the first time a city-state has rescinded an invitation after gazing at Gomorrah’s intimidating burning skyline up close. It looks like Hell itself has shown up on their doorsteps.
“Causing trouble,” Gill says, always stating the obvious. Anything involving Up-Mountain officials means trouble.
We’ll have to cut our plans short—the Menagerie, the fireworks show, all of it. Officials love to target jynx-workers, and even if I’m the only true one among us, our appearances will make us stand out. I could joke about how it has something to do with us being abominations to their god. But the joke is less funny here, considering all the blood that has been spilled for thousands of years in the name of that same god in this city alone, not to mention in the rest of the world.
No, it isn’t much of a joke at all.
“Straight home,” Nicoleta says. “Does everyone hear?”
“Yes,” we chorus. No one argues with Nicoleta when there’s a crisis.
We step into the smoky night air, right in the middle of the clearing that was once filled with vendors, fortune-workers and laughing guests. Now, everyone is running. White-coated Frician officials on horseback charge dangerously close to the Gomorrah merchants packing up their stands. The officials brandish clubs and holler at passersby. Several brandish swords and crossbows.
Gomorrah is chaos.
CHAPTER TWO
The coin merchant’s table crashes to the ground, and lucky coins cascade onto the grass in a rushing clatter. The official whose horse overturned the stand stops and dismounts. I hold my breath and squirm closer to Gill as the merchant drops to his knees and collects his fallen merchandise.
“We need to hurry,” Nicoleta says. She points in the direction of a nearby path for us to flee.
The official picks up a coin and examines it. “The Harbinger? He looks like a demon.” He throws the coin into the merchant’s lap. “Are you a jynx-worker?”
“No,” the merchant says, his voice strong. He stands to meet the official’s eyes.
“Then what are these for, if not divining?”
“It’s a game. Collector’s items.”
“A game,” he mocks. “A festival. Pretty words for a city of rot and smoke. Nothing about this place is play.”
Gill tugs on my arm. The others have broken apart and are running for Nicoleta’s path. “It’s time to go,” he says.
I eye the ticket booth behind us, loath to lose all the money we spent. We saved for this night. I won’t let a few Up-Mountain officials force us to throw our money away and terrorize us in our own home.
I disentangle myself from Gill’s grip. “I’m getting our money back.”
Gill’s eyes widen in alarm. “There are more important things.”
“No. Family night is a whole month of saving, and we didn’t get to have it. I’m getting. Our money. Back.” I say this sternly enough so that Gill won’t argue with me. And he doesn’t.
“Be careful,” he says.
“Always am.”
I whip around toward the ticket booth. A crowd surrounds it, shouting at the girl inside, who’s shouting right back. There are twenty yards between them and me, plus a few officials in their white coats on whiter stallions beneath the Menagerie’s banners, admiring the chaos around them and tormenting those in costume, searching for jynx-workers.
Villiam always told me the Up-Mountains hate us because they are afraid. He’s told me stories that date back two thousand years, when Gomorrah was once a true city in the Great Mountains—a narrow strip of land dividing the two continents. When its skyline was blue instead of burning. When jynx-­workers wielding fire and shadow could dominate regions at any end of the world. Even though anyone can be born with jynx-work in their blood, it was the Up-Mountainers who turned away from it, and the Down-Mountainers who came to celebrate it. The Up-Mountains—from the wintry tundras in the north, to the humid bayous in the south, across cultures, across peoples—united under their common-held fear and warrior god. Now they are powerful, and even the most capable jynx-worker is no match for the massive Up-Mountain armies.
It will only take a few minutes to retrieve the money, I tell myself. Screams ring out behind me. Figures appear and disappear in the constant Gomorrah smoke. Hooves thunder past.
I’ll be home in a few minutes. Like hell I’m leaving without our money. I am the proprietor’s daughter, and I will never be afraid while within Gomorrah.
My illusion-work is not entirely for entertainment. A useful trick I’ve learned while living in the Festival is to convince someone they are looking at one thing, when really they are looking at something else. A sleight of hand, of sorts. It’s significantly easier than persuading someone there’s nothing to see at all.
I cast my usual trick: a moth.
To those around me, there is no girl passing them in a long cloak. There is no person. No shadow, even. There’s a moth, fluttering from torch to torch in lazy curls, oblivious to the hysteria around it. A torn scrap of paper drifting in Gomorrah’s smoke. If they concentrated or stood at a distance, they would glimpse the outline of my body, blurry like a reflection in a pond. But no one is going to stare that closely at a moth.
With my illusion protecting me, I pass the officials without notice and head to the booth. I shelter behind a tentpole, blocking myself from the view of those in the clearing. Once the illusion fades, I don’t want an official to harass me because of my eyeless mask. Or worse, for someone from Gomorrah to recognize me as the proprietor’s daughter and demand I stop the officials. As if they’d listen to a sixteen-year-old, small Down-Mountain girl. A jynx-worker. A freak.
I let go of my illusion and push my way to the front of the those crowded around the ticket booth. Inside, the frazzled girl shrieks, “You all live here! Just come back tomorrow!” Somewhere to our right, another vendor stand is knocked to the ground with a crash, followed by the thudding of wooden jugs of spiced wine.
She’s right. Everyone in the group has mixed features and wears Gomorrah trousers and tunics. Those in Gomorrah are known for their stinginess, and waiting a whole day for our money back isn’t going to cut it—not for me, not for anyone here. Those tickets cost a fortune.
A child screeches. I briefly look away from the booth, but it is an Up-Mountain child. He has nothing to fear. His father shushes him and pulls him away from the frenzied horses.
Be careful, Gill told me.
I’m definitely not being careful.
“Today you say money back, tomorrow you’ll change your minds,” one man says. He holds out his grubby hand beneath the glass opening of the booth.
“Where’s the manager?” another asks.
“He’s calming the swan dragon,” the girl snaps. Her eyes fall on me, in the fringe of the crowd, and they widen. “You’re Villiam’s daughter.” The others turn to me, and I curse under my breath. They all recognize me, but I know none of them. I shouldn’t be here. “Take care of them. The Menagerie has to focus on its animals and the safety of the Gomorrah patrons and residents first. If you all return first thing tomorrow, we’ll refund your tickets.”
She scampers away from the booth, leaving me with the unruly group. She was smart. The Menagerie, being Gomorrah’s most profitable attraction, receives Villiam’s special attention. Right now, I should care more about their needs than those of a few residents. That is what a proprietor would do. A proprietor would have their priorities straight.
The group watches me expectantly. A proprietor would also know at least a few of their names, and I can barely remember the names and faces of the neighbors I’ve had for eight or more years. But they all know mine. My face is the most recognizable in the Festival. I do not search for anonymity, but I hate to glimpse the repulsion or pity in their eyes.
“It’s for your safety,” I stammer. “The swan dragon—”
“—is older than shit,” one woman says. “Lot of harm she’ll do.”
“Let me take your names. I’ll make right sure the Menagerie returns your money tomorrow—”
“With all the officials here, wreaking havoc? You’ll be too busy cleaning up their mess, and you won’t bother with this.” The man spits at my feet. I grimace. He would hardly do that to Villiam, or even Villiam’s assistant, Agni. It’s easier to dismiss a freak. And truth be told, Villiam rarely assigns me any real work. My proprietorship lessons are lectures of micro-agriculture and craftsmanship; about the external structure of Gomorrah, a vast, traveling city. Never about what truly makes it tick.
“To hell with this.” The man storms off.
Fine, let him leave. He’ll probably rant about how lousy I am to his friends, which will return to me in whispers and stares—never anything outright rude, nothing that might risk inciting Villiam’s wrath, but the kind that makes me feel like a freak show even outside the performance tent.
I stare at the small, copper coins in the tin box inside the booth—dull and tarnished but still more beckoning than starlight. It doesn’t matter that I don’t know these people’s names. I know why they’re here, same as me. For their month’s earnings. For the money to make sure no one in their families has to do work on the side, like petty thievery. To ensure their loved ones have whatever they need, like medicine.
“Just need some paper,” I mutter and then slip inside the ticket booth. I grab a sheet and a pencil. “I’ll take your names—”
“But how will we—”
“I want my money back as much as you do. Now give me your damned names so that we can all get the hell out of here.”
The woman in front huffs. “You’re crass for a princess.”
I hate that nickname. Real princesses are no more than pretty bargaining chips. I’m no pawn, and I gave up on pretty a long time ago.
“Not for Gomorrah’s princess,” I say.
They stop bickering, give me their names and shuffle away. Once I’m alone, I reach beneath the counter and grab my family’s forty-five copper coins. Then I slap the list of names on the table—no longer my problem—and leave.
Frice has stormed the Festival. Gomorrah has bigger things to worry about than ticket refunds.
My trusty moth illusion gets me safely from the Menagerie to our neighborhood, though I pass several officials along the path and cringe away each time. But they cannot see me, and if I concentrate hard enough, they could touch me and not know it. I stumble toward our tent, sweaty and out of breath but victorious.
Gill waits outside, and I brace myself for the scolding that I probably deserve. He swats at my moth until I drop the illusion. “Are you all right?” he asks.
“I’m fine.”
“That was rash,” he says. “You could’ve been hurt.”
I jingle my pocket. “Got the money.”
“No one cares about the money. We were all worried sick.”
I know it wasn’t the smartest plan. But tomorrow night, when the officials leave and Gomorrah has cleaned itself up, everyone will be thankful for the extra change.
“Well, I’m fine.” I push past him to go inside, but he grabs my arm.
“And why was Jiafu here tonight?” he asks, for the second time.
“How should I know? Maybe he wanted to watch our show,” I say, careful not to let the others overhear inside. Crown and Nicoleta also don’t approve of my thieving with Jiafu, and some of them—like Hawk and Unu and Du—don’t even know about it.
“Jiafu is trouble, Sorina.”
“It was nothing. All’s dandy.” Jiafu and I have swindled enough jobs at the show to know it never affects our ticket sales.
“I don’t know what you two did,” he says, “but Gomorrah’s in enough trouble here as it is. If rumors spread beyond Frice that we’ve been stealing from patrons, then the other Up-Mountain cities will revoke their invitations to come. Not to mention all this chaos.”
He acts as if Jiafu and I are the only thieves in this whole festival of debauchery. To the visitors, the chance of pickpockets or magical mischief accounts for half the thrill of Gomorrah.
“It was a small job. Count Pomp-di-pomp is supposed to be a bit dim, anyway. He’ll probably think he lost his ring himself.”
Gill rolls his eyes. “It’s Count Pompdidorra. He’s a very influential man.”
“Whatever.”
“Sorina,” he says, sighing. Most of Gill’s sentences are followed by a sigh. At least half of those are aimed at me. When I created Gill, I had “loving uncle” in mind, but, instead, he’s more of a nuisance. Though maybe that’s a bit harsh. It’s not that I don’t love Gill. Not that he doesn’t love me and all of us. But he’s certainly grumpier than in my original blueprints. If we wanted to live by all his rules, we’d go live in a religion-crazed Up-Mountain city. The only person who listens to Gill is Nicoleta, who is essentially his henchman, repeating his advice or scolding someone whenever Gill isn’t present to do so himself.
“To be frank—” Gill is always frank “—you’re jeopardizing the already grim reputation of the entire Festival. And if people keep losing valuable possessions during our show, no one’s going to buy tickets.”
I’m done with this conversation. Unless Gill can concoct a new idea for me to earn some coin for Kahina, then I’ll stick with Jiafu. I’m not really hurting anyone. The patrons we select are too rich to notice a missing necklace here, a missing watch there.
“It’s my show,” I say.
“If it’s all your show, you can do tricks in this tank next time. Or fit into Venera’s two-by-two-foot box,” he snaps. “Don’t be a child.”
“Technically, I’m older than you,” I say. I created Gill when I was nine, which only makes him seven years old.
He sighs. “Of course, Sorina, you always have the last word.”
This particular statement infuriates me more than anything else. I’m sorry I worried him, but Kahina is more important than the slim risk involved. And I don’t understand how I could possibly be damaging the Festival’s reputation when people are always whispering about assassins and drug dealers in the Downhill. Petty theft is nothing compared to that.
I turn, my cloak swishing behind me, and stomp inside.
The others sit around our foldout table, huddled together on floor cushions. By the untouched game of lucky coins and the way they fidget, I can tell they’ve been worried.
I toss the forty-five coins on the table, which spill out of their pouch with clatters and clangs. Venera grimly gathers them up to add to our family-stash jar. “Got them no problem,” I say, knowing that I sound like an ass.
“It’s almost midnight,” Nicoleta says. “You took a long time.”
“Is it?” Jiafu and I usually meet at midnight after jobs, but I didn’t notice him waiting for me outside. I hate to leave them again, if only for a moment, but I need to talk to Jiafu.
“We can play lucky coins, now that we’re all here,” Unu says. He holds up the Beheaded Dame coin—the jewel of his collection—to glint in the lantern light.
“I’m not ready to lose again just yet,” I say. “I’m going to keep watch and make sure no officials come near the tent. I’ll be—”
“You shouldn’t go outside,” Nicoleta says, sighing. If one more person sighs at me, I’ll tear my hair out. The bald girl who sees without eyes. What a sight.
“—just out back,” I finish, waving and slipping out before any of them can stop me. There’s less commotion in our neighborhood than near the Menagerie and Skull Gate. Plus, I have my illusions to obscure me. I’m not worried.
The night air is sticky, yet refreshing compared to the tension with the others inside. Thankfully, Gill has disappeared—skulked back to his tent, where he’ll probably keep to himself the rest of the night, reading another one of his boring novels, where nothing exciting or romantic ever happens, and the reader always learns some righteous lesson in the end.
Lightning bugs blink within clouds of gnats, circling my face. The smoke that envelops Gomorrah utterly blocks out any view of the sky. The smoke is part of Gomorrah’s legend: once upon a time, we were burned to the ground. But we did not die. Instead we kept burning, kept moving, kept growing. The smoke surrounds us, even if we no longer burn. There is no fire, but sometimes, if you catch yourself around Gomorrah’s edges, the air thickens from stifling heat and the lanterns glow a little bit brighter. It reminds me of walking into the city’s memory—a very ancient memory.
This section of Gomorrah is lit by white torchlights and paper lanterns, which wear golden halos in the gray fog. Everyone in the Festival seems like a silhouette, a shadow of an actual person. It makes it easy to get lost and, depending where you are in Gomorrah, never be found again.
I scan the area beside my tent—a small clearing that serves as the back of two other tents, which house a family of fortune-workers and a silk salesman. Jiafu is nowhere. We usually meet outside after jobs, so why isn’t he here? If he’s skipping out on me, I swear, he’ll wake up tomorrow thinking there are dung beetles crawling out of his nostrils. I have a hard time believing Jiafu, the master of all crooks, would be scared of a few officials.
I sit on the grass, facing toward the thousands of tents that make up the Gomorrah Festival, the tallest being the Menagerie at the center. The family-friendly attractions—if you could call anything at Gomorrah family-friendly—are closest to the entrance, like games, circuses and my freak show. The majority of the Festival is in the back—private tents for prettymen and prettywomen, bars and gambling. We call that area the Downhill. Of the thousands of people who live in Gomorrah, I know the fewest from there.
Jiafu has five minutes before I get angry.
To the left, something catches my eye. A golden centipede wriggles down a tent post, and I suck in my breath and examine it. It’s the size of my pinky but twice as wide, with beady black eyes and soft fuzz. I gently pick it up and let it tickle my palm with its hundred feet.
I don’t remember when my bug collection began. I have over three hundred insects, gathered from various regions where the Festival has taken me, both in the Up-Mountains and Down-Mountains. A charm-worker down the way preserves them for me in glass vials, which I keep for decoration in my room—both for the aesthetics and to ensure that Nicoleta rarely comes in to nag me. Occasionally Villiam will gift me a book of local insects so I can learn about the ones in my collection. I like to consider myself an expert on all creepy crawlies. Probably because they make other people uncomfortable, but I see just how unique and fascinating they are. Highly underrated creatures. The bugs and I have this in common.
A horn blares across Gomorrah. Followed by screams.
“What the hell is that?” I wonder aloud. The centipede crawls up my wrist and arm, unperturbed. It sounded like a city horn from Frice. Maybe the officials are leaving.
I tiptoe around our three tents—the two where we sleep, and the Freak Show’s tent—wishing I wasn’t alone, in case I do need to face an official. Wishing we, like most of Gomorrah’s residents, lived near the Festival’s perimeter, not along a main path.
Across from the Freak Show tent lives another fortune-worker, and she—always determined to be the first on Gomorrah’s lengthy grapevine—slips out down the path to investigate the commotion approaching our neighborhood. I creep near one of the torch poles to be closer to the light.
An official on horseback trots down our path. By the way he scans the area, he’s looking for something or someone. Perhaps he’s rounding up the Frician citizens and marching them back to their city. The noise covered his approach, so I haven’t had time to prepare an illusion. I’m exposed.
The official stares at me, his face contorted in disgust. The centipede drops from my arm into the grass, but I don’t dare move to search for it. After a few tense moments, the official passes. I let out a sigh of relief.
I head back inside my tent, thinking I’ll just cut through the stage area to the back. It’s safer to be out of sight. And clearly Jiafu isn’t coming.
The show tent is empty, all the audience chairs vacant and the ground littered with kettle-corn kernels. I squint in the darkness. There’s something on the stage, but I can’t tell what it is.
“Hello?” I say, in case it’s a person. No one answers.
I creep closer to the stage and then climb up the steps. Something cracks under my sandal. The floor glistens. I’m standing in a mess of water and glass.
A figure lies on the floor, unmoving and limp. My eyes slowly adjust, so I can tell it’s a man lying facedown. He lies on a bed of broken glass and a puddle of water in the dead center of the stage.
I scream and then root around my pockets for a match, my hands trembling. I find one, strike it and bend down to the man’s body, bracing myself for my worst suspicions to be confirmed. I instantly recognize his dark hair, the grooves on both sides of his neck and his webbed hands.
It’s Gill.
I scream his name and then drop to the floor and roll him over. The back of his shirt is covered in blood. I shake him a few times, but he never responds. I rest his head on my lap, and blood dribbles from his mouth down his chin. “Gill. Gill,” I plead. I check his pulse, but find none.
None.
“No. No. No.” This is impossible. Gill can’t be dead. He’s my illusion. His body, though it feels solid, is only a figment of my imagination. No one can kill him, because he doesn’t truly exist.
Hesitantly, I lean him on his side and lift up his shirt, exposing the half dozen stab wounds across his back. They are a jagged, messy and oozing contrast to the smooth and translucent silver of his skin. My stomach wretches. I roll him onto his back once more and hug him closer.
I’m struck with a sudden inspiration; a flicker of hope. I can fix this. I can make him disappear. I can make him disappear and he’ll come back, just like before.
I grasp for my Strings and find Gill’s tethered among them. I gather them into a ball and toss them into his Trunk, a section of my mind I rarely visit except to make the illusions disappear. His Strings are lighter than usual, as if strands of hair rather than proper threads. Though the Trunk is open and full of Gill’s Strings, he doesn’t vanish from the stage as he should. I cry out in frustration. Why won’t he disappear?
His body remains in my arms, dead.
None of this makes sense.
I run my hands down his limp arm to his fingertips, to a shard of glass on the stage floor. The wheeled platform of the tank lies a few feet away. This glass couldn’t have broken by accident—it’s thick, made especially for Gill’s act during the show. Someone shattered it on purpose and then, afterward, stabbed him while he suffocated.
Someone, somehow, murdered him.
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ducktracy · 4 years
Text
A THOUSAND TIMES
NO
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