#reposted from my defunct blog

[shychick-52]

Random headcanon time (reposted from my defunct blog):

Gyro got a hysterectomy as soon as he was legally able to, as well as top surgery, because Della insisted Scrooge pay for it. :D

Of course a younger Gyro would have shyly insisted he doesn't need charity, but nothing stops Della Duck.

(And ofc this is one thing Scrooge would gladly pay for, because it's practically canon that he's trans himself)

And I'd be remiss if I didn't share this addition from @therivergirl to my original post:

#reposted from my defunct blog #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #gyro gearloose #trans gyro gearloose #della duck #scrooge mcduck #trans scrooge mcduck #headcanon

[ramp-it-up]

Doctor and Mr. Cavill

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Veterinarian!Reader

Word Count: 5.9K 😓.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. SMUT, Explicit description of graphic sex. Read at your own risk. Dog in distress. Angst, pining, flirting, nerd activities, Marvel vs. DC, brat behavior, dirty talk, size kink, oral sex, raw p in v (wrap before you tap) pulling out, cum play. Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N: This is in response to an ask from @notmyfault404 about Kal’s favorite Veterinarian, nerd activities and Henry. This story sucked me in. Let me know if you liked it!

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

The film production came to town at the end of summer, buying the now defunct airport for a production studio and moving scores of staff into town. The uptick in your business was the first indication that your life was going to change. 

The production meant two years of publicity and economic prosperity for your town. It was exciting. And the fact that Henry Cavill was the lead in the production was no small news item. 

Sightings at the grocery store, on the running trails, at GNC were all everyone could talk about, but you didn’t have time for all that. You had a business to run.

You got busier, with production increasing the population of the town by over 200 people. Including the talent, Everyone was buzzing with the fact that Henry rented a house out on State Route 60, not too far from your own. 

You weren’t that pressed. Sure, he was fine as hell, but he was probably a jackass and you would probably never run into him.

You were so wrong.

One blustery late fall day, an American Akita was brought into your office by a bystander who found him caught in a bush along a greenway, dirty and covered with brambles.

He was muddy, overexposed and shaky. He was agitated and growling at everyone, until you came near. You gave him a firm command.

“Sit!”

He obeyed immediately and whined, still stressed, but calmer now. You approached him and kneeled, holding out your hand and taking his paw when he offered. You smiled, and he panted in return.

“It’s okay, buddy. Let me help you.”

20 minutes later, you had him on the table in one of your examination rooms

“Now keep still. I know it’s uncomfortable right now, but I’ve got to get you unmatted and then I’ll get you some nice soothing salve for those scratches.”

The dog whined, but stopped fidgeting and stood still, as if he understood what you’d said. 

“Good boy!”

The huge animal panted at you and looked as if he smiled, but then whined again as you started detangling and brushing again. 

Regina, your nurse, came in and microchipped him, and then turned to you with her mouth wide open when she saw what came back. 

“You’ll never believe who this dog’s owner is…”

After you found out about Kal’s parentage, you fed and watered him, cleaned and groomed him, attended to his coat and his scratches and were playing with him when Henry arrived at your office.

“Did you run away Kal? Is he a good dad?” 

You leaned over to him conspiratorially.

“I bet he’s not.”

You tutted as you worked on the last bit of matting, soothing hums falling from your lips as you applied the ointment to the lesions on his skin.

“I would take you to my house in a minute, he doesn't deserve you, does he?” 

You were concentrating on medicating his leg when you heard a response.

“You’re quite right.”

You looked up at Kal when you heard a deep British voice rumble through you. You slowly turned around and were met with the most beautiful imperfect blue eyes you’d ever seen.

“I don’t deserve him.”

You drew yourself up to your full height, which didn’t stop Henry Cavill from towering over you. Damn. 

He seemed huge, tall and burly, hair hidden under a baseball cap, but escaping out of the back into thick curls at his nape. His face was flushed, and his eyes held a look of worry and embarrassment, but held your gaze.

You felt like you were in one of those old romcoms, where the room was spinning around you. You had the urge to dive into his eyes.

“Mr. Cavill? I’m Dr. Y/LN.” 

Henry’s smile widened and he extended his hand. You looked at it as if it were a fish. You were flustered. He was even more beautiful in person.

You reached for his hand and then stopped, awkwardly.

“Gloves,” came your reply as you held up your hands.

Henry dropped his own hand, as awkwardly as you. Your stomach tumbled.

“I’m Henry. Cavill.”

“Yes,” was all you could say. You knew who he was.

“Mr. Cavill. Kal is fine, but he was exposed to the elements for quite a while.”

Henry had a stricken look on his face.

“Believe me, Dr. Y/LN. I have been distressed with worry for about 14 hours now. Kal and I went running yesterday evening and he saw and chased a squirrel. He wouldn’t respond and I couldn’t find him. I feared the worst all night…”

Henry paused, trying to compose himself. You saw his emotion and you heard his voice crack and you softened, all over. You should really stop staring. 

“That is unfortunate, but luckily someone found him and brought him in…” 

You found yourself suddenly at a loss for words. 

“Yes.” 

Henry smiled, a genuine, shy smile. 

“And it seems you are taking expert care of him.”

Kal whined and you tore your eyes away from his owner.

“Hey buddy. Yeah. I’m almost done, just gotta get this paw...”

You smiled at Kal and turned to Kal to continue your work, smiling at Henry over your shoulder.

Henry watched you with his dog and his heart melted. You were gentle, kind, and caring. And that voice. Your sultry tones were soothing, not just to Kal. You were calming Henry’s nerves.

Henry didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t you. 

Somehow he was expecting a veterinarian to be someone not quite so lovely. His heart was already racing, but when he saw you he swore that it skipped a beat. 

Henry was transfixed with you, his eyes searching for a glimpse of your body beneath your white coat. He ascertained generous curves and found himself quite pleased. 

As you turned around and caught him staring, he remembered Kal.   

“Mr. Cavill!”

Henry startled and turned red as a bashful smile graced his handsome face.

“Y-yes?”

He seemed flustered and awkward, but he was also a highly trained actor. You resisted any benevolent thoughts as you handed him a couple of tubes of salve and reminded him of the routines to make sure that Kal healed properly.

“Thank you Dr. Y/LN. Thank you for taking care of Kal …”

“No need for thanks. It’s what we do here.”

“Well…Excellent!”

Henry graced you with that beautiful smile and you wanted to melt, but you stayed strong.

You two stared at one another until Kal whined. You released him from the grooming lead and Henry prompted him to jump down from the table. 

You watched, your heart warming to the sight of Henry practically rolling on the floor with his pup. You could watch the scene forever, but you had work to do.

“Mr. Cavill.”

“Yes.”

Those bewitching blues looked up at you. You held in a gasp as Henry sat on one knee at your feet with Kal. It was quite unnerving for some reason. You cleared your throat.

“I have another patient I need to see in this room.”

Henry was deep in thought after you kicked him out of your office. He couldn’t get you out of his head. He walked slowly to his car with Kal, almost turning around and back into your office when his phone buzzed. It was his agent.

Thoughts of you were pushed aside as he answered the phone.

Two weeks later, you entered your exam room looking down at the patient chart with no other warning than a smirking Regina who handed the clipboard to you.

You were greeted by a big handsome brute.

And his dog.

“Kal!”

You were assaulted by licks and jumps when you got near him.

“Down, boy, sorry, Doc. Kal! That’s no way to behave.”

Henry took Kal’s collar in hand to get him off of you, but he was ignored while you laughed and hugged the dog. Soon, he obeyed Henry and sat down on the table, smiling at you and thumping his huge tail.

Speaking of huge, you noticed Henry’s hands. They were large, with thick fingers and pronounced veins which extended down his thick forearms. His muscles were flexing from the effort to restrain Kal, but Henry’s face was serene. 

And staring directly at you.

You cleared your throat.

“What are we here for this time?”

Your saucy raised eyebrow did things to Henry, he decided. He’d been thinking about you ever since that first time and he was intrigued by you.

“Our visit today is two-fold. Kal needs his yearly shots. We’re in the states for the next few months filming and you took such good care of him last time… well, I’d like you to be his veterinarian while we’re here.”

You grinned at Henry, and he paused, blinking at you as if in shock. He wanted to make you smile forever. You cocked your head at him. 

“And two?”

“What?”

Henry was outright flustered. You chuckled.

“What’s the second reason that you’re here?”

“Yes! Right! I want to thank you for taking care of Kal. How about I take you to lunch as a way to express my gratitude?”

You frowned and Henry’s stomach dropped as you appeared to have eaten something sour. He knew he shouldn’t have tried it.

“I’m trying to think of a reason not to…” 

You looked up at him with those big doe eyes and Henry turned to mush. Then he recovered and smiled, giving his best rake performance.

“Well, if you’re thinking anything about Dr/Patient ethics, I’m not your patient. Kal is.” 

Henry hadn’t had to pursue like this in quite a while. It was refreshing.

You finally smiled as you prepared to counter his argument.

“But in a veterinary practice, an animal’s owner is a client.”

“Dr. Y/LN, it’s just lunch. Nothing more.”

“Really?”

“Really. It’s just a thank you. No funny business.” 

Henry held his hands up so as to indicate he wouldn’t touch you. Why were you disappointed?

You avoided Henry’s eyes as you opened the door and called for Regina to set up the shots. Henry took the chance to subtly check you out again, making sure to have his eyes elsewhere when you turned back around.

“When did you want to go out to lunch, Mr. Cavill?”

Henry shook his head and chuckled.

“Henry. Call me Henry. Dr. Y/LN.”

He waited for you to offer your first name to him, although he could read it on the diploma on the wall. When you just smiled, he just shook his head again.

“I was thinking today.”

“I– I – ummmmm…”

“Your nurse, Regina is it? Regina told me you hadn’t eaten yet.”

Henry raised his eyebrow and looked at his watch. You couldn't help but notice the veins in his arm.

“It is 1:28 pm and you haven’t had anything to eat today except coffee.” He looked at you as if you were in trouble, but that would have been too familiar. Henry was quite displeased that you weren’t caring for yourself, but he didn’t dare say it. He hardly knew you. This wild urge to take care of you was unexpected.

“Regina cleared your afternoon.”

“Did she now?”

You went to the door and called for her. Regina appeared as if she were close by, with the shots prepared on a tray.

“Here are Kal’s shots, Doc. And I’ve rescheduled your appointments for your lunch date.”

You scowled at her and she smiled brightly as she pushed you back into the room by the tray. You would take care of her later.

You turned around and went to wash your hands and put on your gloves. You sighed and decided to go with the flow.

“How about Dave and Buster’s?”

Henry looked nonplussed.

“Do Buster and David serve good healthful food?”

“No,” you grinned.

An hour and a half later, after dropping Kal at Henry’s place and a lunch of ribs, wings, and nachos, you and Henry were having the time of your life playing giant electronic Connect Four. When you beat him the third time, he pulled you away and started browsing the games. 

The darkness of the arcade, and the fact that it was 3 pm on a Tuesday, made it easy for Henry to not be recognized. His ball cap was quite the disguise.

“Rampage!” Henry yelled like a kid. “No wayyyy! I used to love this. One of Midway’s best games.”

You gaped at him.

“Oh Come on. I’m a massive nerd. I love stuff like this. We have to play!”

You just laughed.

“A man after my own heart! I’ll play you, but we have to scope out the other games. You have to have a plan for your game play.”

Henry stopped when you said he was after your heart. He knew it was a figure of speech, but he decided it was not an untruth. He cleared his throat.

“Right. Seems you’re a bit of a nerd yourself, Dr. Y/LN.”

You grinned.

“You should see my comic book collection.”

Henry’s heart surged, that was so fucking sexy. You out of your doctor’s coat was also damned attractive, and he was about to say so when he saw his face on an arcade game. 

You two stood in front of Injustice, a game that had many of the DC Superheroes and Villains illustrated on it. You and Henry stared at each other.

“I dare you.”

Henry never backed down from a dare.

“Challenge accepted, Doctor.”

It was on.

—

It was basically dinner time when Henry dropped you back at the office, but you weren’t mad. You shivered at the cold and pulled your jacket around yourself. Henry wanted to pull you into his arms for warmth, but this wasn’t that kind of date.

You smiled that smile at him.

“That was a great lunch, but you lied.”

Henry looked so cute with the frown on his face.

“That was funny business. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. I had a ball.”

Henry was relieved and followed you as you turned and went to your car.

“I’m very glad. You ate something and had some fun. Splendid.”

You were trapped between Henry and your car as he beamed down at you. This feeling could not be denied, you realized with dismay. But you were going to try with all your might. Henry was only temporary. He was probably just searching for comfort near set. You needed to guard your heart.

“Well, have a good evening, Henry.”

You reached for your door handle. Henry backed up to let you open it.

You got into the driver’s seat.

“Perhaps we can do this again sometime, Doctor.”

You just smiled at him and said, “Good night, Mr. Cavill.”

Then you closed your door, started the car, and pulling away, Henry realized that he didn’t get your number as he’d planned.

“Call me Henry!” 

He shouted at your taillights.

This was getting inconvenient.

A week after your lunch, you’d taken to having nightly dreams of Henry, and it just wouldn’t do. You woke up in the middle of the night with your clit pounding and you’d worn out the batteries of your wand, knowing it would be a poor substitute for the man from Jersey.

You had to get Henry Cavill out of your head. Work. That was the answer.

You walked past Regina’s desk around 11:30 and didn’t realize she wore that smirk until you turned the doorknob to the examination room.

“Shit!” 

You cursed under your breath as you opened the door to Kal’s bark.

Henry stopped mid-pace when you did so. His eyes looked a little wild, just like the first time you’d met, but there was a difference now.

The difference was that Henry was distracted by need, not worry. He’d thought about you every waking moment, and woke up with a stiff reminder of his dreams every morning. He needed more of you, or to be in detox.

“Mr. Cavill.” 

Henry's jaw clenched at your continued insistence at the formality. Your core clenched in turn. You were in danger. You moved to pet Kal, seeking him to be your protector.

“Dr. Y/LN.”

Henry’s deep voice was gravelly and you tried not to gravitate nearer to him.

“We’re here today because it is a bit of an emergency. I’m headed to Britain for a couple of weeks this weekend, and I need boarding for Kal. Beginning Friday? Regina said that you had facilities?”

You really needed to talk to your meddling nurse. But you looked down at Kal who started to lick your face. You could not say no. You went over to your computer.

“I’ll check the boarding schedule. I’m sure we have room…” 

You opened your laptop and pulled up the schedule. Then you frowned, your eyes flicked over to Henry, then back at the screen.

You looked so adorable as you bit your lip. Then you huffed, seemingly miffed at what you saw.

What Henry saw was a little bit of the brat. And that made his cock a little stiff so that he had to shift his stance. That’s it, he decided. He needed to tame you.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cavill. It seems we are booked up this weekend, but we will have an opening on the following Monday…”

“Please, call me Henry.” 

He was begging now. 

You took him in as your nipples got hard. His beauty was no question, his eyes, his hair. It was left out today, the curls unruly as he swiped his hand through them, thinking.

“Well, I… I’ll have to find another arrangement. My flight is commercial and leaves early Saturday morning, else I would take him with.”

Henry looked at you with sad eyes and so did Kal. 

“Could you recommend?”

Yours was the best facility within 50 miles. You sighed and couldn’t believe what you were about to say. 

“I can keep him at my home Mr… Henry. Just for the weekend. I have lots of land off of Route 60.” 

Henry’s eyebrow raised when you mentioned where you lived. He lived on Route 60. You continued.

“Kal will have lots of room. And I’ll bring him with me to work on Monday…”

Henry moved into your space impetuously. You stood your ground, however.

“Splendid!” 

You stared up at him, unconsciously biting your lip. The energy between you intensified. It seemed natural to go on tiptoe and reach up to brush the hair that fell into his eyes.

But you didn’t.

“Well, Kal is such a handsome boy, how could I say no to him?”

You looked into Kal’s eyes and petted him. The loving way you looked at his dog made Henry a little bit jealous. He surprised himself.

“Can I have…”

Henry’s voice was now impossibly a bit deeper, and needy. You sighed, and Henry wanted to claim those lips. He thought that outrageous, but this attraction between you was undeniable. 

“...Your number and address. I can bring him to your place Friday evening. My flight leaves at 5 am to New York Saturday for my long business layover. Then the red eye that evening to London. I wouldn’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night…”

Henry was thinking just the opposite as he smiled down at you. He’d love to wake you up. And you were thinking the same thing.

Your first instinct was to tell him that he could bring Kal by the office and you would take him home with you, boundaries. But you were exhausted of running from this feeling. Henry gazed at you hopefully and it was your turn to be flustered.

You held out your hand, palm up.

Henry, non-plussed, took your hand awkwardly and grinned, thrilled at the chance to touch you. You laughed, a melody to his ears, as you shook your head and said,

“Give me your phone, Henry”

Henry blushed at your gentle command, released your hand, and pulled out his phone while shaking his head at himself. His grin was the greatest thing ever, and the curls falling forward into his face were a distraction.

He handed his phone to you and you took it, concentrating as you entered your information, feeling his eyes on you. When you gave it back, he looked at your number and address like it was a newfound treasure.

“Thank you. I can’t tell you what this means to me… to us. Isn’t that right, Kal.”

You both looked over to Kal, who barked. 

“What time should I bring him by?”

You looked up and thought. You were so damn cute to Henry.

“Well, we close early on Fridays. 2 pm. You could bring him by 3?”

Henry thought for a moment. 

“Perfect.”

He was looking at your lips.

“We’ll see you then. Doctor.”

The title was beginning to feel like an endearment. You didn’t wipe the smile off your face for the rest of the day, despite Regina’s side eyes.

——

You don’t know why you were nervous. It was a simple thing really. Just Superman dropping off his dog at your house. No biggie.

You heard Henry’s car on your gravel driveway and went out on your porch

Henry marveled at your place. He got out of the car looking around appreciatively as he got Kal and his gear out of the SUV. You led him to the fence line behind the house. 

“You can take him off the leash. Back here he has room to run free.”

Henry did so and Kal immediately took off and galavanted around your animals there. He was cozying up to one of your rescued alpacas as you and Henry watched.

“This place is… there are no words.”

You flushed.

“It’s my childhood home. My dad was the town vet before me, and I think he loved animals more than I do. I grew up thinking he was Dr. Doolittle.”

You became wistful with memories. Then you looked at Henry, bowling him over. His heart was taken in that moment.

“I wanted to be just like him, even when he told me to get out of this town. But I would never leave. He was my hero, a single dad, saving animals. He was my why.”

“Wow. Thank you for sharing.”

You’d never heard Henry’s voice that low. You gave him a small smile.

“He passed away two years ago while I was still in vet school. It was hard.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Henry wanted to take you into his arms.

“Thank you.” 

You straightened your spine.

“I’m sure you’re very busy, with the trip and all..”

Henry smiled at you.

“Would you believe that I’m practically ready to go? Fully packed and all.I’m going to grab an early dinner and head to bed.”

You looked at your watch. It was 3:45.

“Can I make you some tea?”

Henry gave you that beautiful grin.

“I’d like nothing more.”

In your kitchen, Henry soon got up from his seat at your kitchen island to help you make proper British tea.

You were laughing and talking as he teased you for being American. It all felt so natural.

“Where are your teaspoons? See, this is what I mean….”

Henry was standing behind you, not looking for spoons at all, but looking at that ass in your casual at-home leggings. Good god you were hot. You shook your head and turned around quickly to find him facing you.

“They’re right- oh!”

You were deliciously in Henry’s space and as you looked up at him something happened and he leaned down to kiss you. It was a quick press of the lips but it previewed so much more.

“I- I’m sorry. That was way too forward-“

Henry was cut off by you jumping up into his arms and wrapping your legs around him as you kissed him back. His surprise turned to passion as he grunted in his throat as he claimed your mouth. 

He turned you around and sat your bottom on the island, slotting his hips between your legs, his hands on your sides. The kiss was a feral expression of pent up need that was only interrupted by the whistle of the kettle.

You stopped and laughed, and Henry pulled away to take care of the pot. When he turned back around, you were down from the island and all business again. The mood was lost.

You served the tea as if nothing had happened. 

The silence between you two as you drank was big, but thoughtful, not awkward at all. Henry was smirking down into his cup, replaying the kiss in his mind. It was more than he could ever ask for. You, however, were thinking quite the opposite.

You turned to him after you finished your tea and asked, “Want to see my comic book collection?”

10 minutes later, you were upstairs in the comic book room, amid boxes and boxes of classic comic books, the collection started by your father. There were books in every conceivable surface, so you were setting in a bean bag chair while Henry kneeled and flipped through a box of Wolverine comics. 

“Holy hell! You have the Wolverine Top Secret #50! Do you know how much this is worth?!?”

Henry was impressed, and so were you.

“Not really. But I’m intrigued that you are so into a Marvel book, i would think you would be strictly a DC alcolyte, Man of Steel—“

You gasped. 

“Holy shit! I have Superman in my comic book room.”

Henry raised his eyebrow.

“Do you want Superman in your…. nevermind...”

You gaped at him, mouth hinged open at his saucy comment, and Henry was scared that you would kick him out. But you started rolling on the floor laughing instead.

“You’re such a dork, oh my god. ‘Do you want Superman in your…’ hahahaha… that’s what she said… hahahaha…”

Henry laughed too, coming over to tickle you to extend your laughter. It was musical. You two horse played until you weren’t playing any more. You lay beneath Henry, flushed and out of breath and never more beautiful, your shirt halfway up your torso and comic books strewn around you.

He had to kiss you again.

Soon, his mouth strayed from yours to your neck, sloppily marking you up and getting you wet as he rutted against your center. His jeans and your leggings were the only barrier to you full out fucking.

His hand reached under your shirt and you pushed him away, panting as you tried to get your bearings.

Henry was wild, hair in his eyes as he nodded. 

“You’re right. Too far. Too much.”

He leaned back on his knees and your eyes raked from his thick thighs to the bulge in his pants to his dilated eyes.

You stood up, still silent and so did Henry, following you out as you straightened your clothes and your hair. You were wrapped in the last string of decorum in you.

Henry ran his hand in his own hair, looking to the side and catching sight of your bedroom. Then he watched your bottom sway in front of him.

“Just want to bite that ass.”

You heard his lewd comment and wheeled around on him on the landing of the stairs.

“What are you doing? What do you want? A fuck buddy while you’re here? Because…”

“Do shut up, Doctor..”

Henry took your head in his hands and leaned in for a kiss, pausing momentarily to look into your eyes. Then Henry destroyed that string of decorum with his kiss.

Somehow, you wound up on your bed, heavy petting like two teenagers, Henry’s hand up your shirt, teasing your nipples.

When he reached for your pants and slipped his thick fingers into your panties and felt your slick, he cursed.

“Fuck, I don’t have any condoms.”

When you arched and moaned when he breached you, and he felt your tight cunt, he licked his lips.

“No matter, won’t be necessary, just let me eat you out. Take all that off.”

You obeyed, buoyed on a cloud of lust.

“Beautiful.”

Henry gazed at you for a minute, and then you reached for his zipper. He let you pull him toward you and start to work it open.

“Ah ah ah. I'm far too hard for that. Let me.” 

Henry carefully removed his pants around his massive, hard cock, which made his dark blue boxer briefs even darker at his wet tip. You licked your lips and palmed him over his underwear while looking up at him with those eyes. He knew what you were asking.

“Hmmmmm. I’m going to have to say …no.” 

You pouted as Henry chuckled and flipped you over, pulling your hips up so you were on your knees before him. You watched over your shoulder as Henry leaned down to kiss, and then in fact bite, each of your cheeks, rubbing to soothe the sting.

“Oh. If I had more time…”

Henry shook his head and then descended to the valley between, licking a large, rude stripe up the length of you.

“Yes. My dreams, Doctor. This is better than my dreams. Taste like heaven.” 

Then he went to town, feasting on you and moaning, rubbing his nose and chin into your folds, sucking your clit, and causing you to grab his head as you came all over his beautiful face.

When you opened your eyes you were on your back, Henry above you, one hand parting your lips again, and another wrapped around the biggest uncut cock you’d ever seen. You gasped when he inserted a finger into you, not realizing how big his hand really was. It made sense now.

“So gorgeous. But, it seems I’m far too big for you. I fear I’d tear you apart.”

You arched, which elicited a moan. 

“It’s amazing what a body can do. Why don’t we try, and you could always pull out…”

Henry grunted, climbing up between your legs, led by his dick.

“I’ve decided that’s not a good idea. I’ll just use my hand to finish.”

His smirk said he was teasing, but you were mad. Your pussy clenched, seeking fulfillment, as Henry jacked his cock above it, angry red tip projected now and leaking precum on his fingers.

You whined and writhed beneath him.

“Henry... you can’t do that to me…”

Henry nodded his head, eyes ablaze.

“Yes. It would hurt you too much.”

He was stroking faster now, jaw clenching with restraint.

“No. You can’t show me that magnificent cock and not give it to me.”

Henry groaned and leaned down to kiss you, continuing stroking with his hand. His tip was at your entrance, driving you mad.

“Give it to me…Henry…”

“Such a brat.”

Henry bit your ear and you arched your back as he shoved the tip in. Just the tip.

“Henry!”

“I’m giving you what you want, Doctor…”

His voice was controlled in your ear, but you felt his cock jumping inside you.

“God you feel so….. I need to go travel this silken canal.  But you’re so, so tight…”

You rotated and locked your ankles on his back, making him stop and rest his forehead on yours. You both looked down to where you were connected.

“Stretch me out.”

Your plaintive whisper caused his reserve to snap. 

“Unnnngh. I’m not strong enough to tame you tonight. I want this.” 

Henry started moving, gliding slowly inside you, fucking you open like you’d never been before.

“Hunh, Hunh, Hunh, Hunh…”

You moaned with every inch, the pain a delicious nirvana. You bit Henry’s shoulder until he was fully seated inside.

Henry looked you in your eyes and then closed his and shook his head, as if trying to snap out of a trance.

“You are exquisite, you know that?”

He’s never seen a more beautiful sight than your face when you were full of him. When you shook your head no to his question, Henry started moving.

“We’ll, I'm going to teach you…”

Your fingernails dug into his forearms as he delivered the long strokes which served to short circuit your brain. Sparks were shooting off inside you with every pull and drag of his thick cock along your walls.

When you started moaning with pleasure was when Henry reared up on his knees, pulling your bottom up to rest on his thighs. He held your waist as he pumped inside you, not able to tear his eyes away from his cock destroying you. 

The image of a naked Henry just outright fucking you, along with the heavenly way he was delivering the dick made you start cuming. Him just looking at your clit made it start pulsing. Did he really have x-ray vision?

Henry’s mouth hung open at the way your pussy started creaming around him and when he glanced up at your face, well, it was all over for him.

“Cum with me!” he commanded.

When you screamed is when Henry pulled out, pumping his creamy cum all over your torso. The velocity of his spend, the way it sprayed all over your body and reached your open mouth, extended your orgasm and you howled, literally howled.

You licked your lips, tasting him and hummed as your body vibrated down from the clouds. You felt Henry lay down beside you and start drawing his cum around your areola. Your clit jerked your entire body and Henry raised his eyebrow.

“I’m sorry that was so…”

“Amazing, perfect?”

“…Rushed, but next time, I promise you an entire night of delights.”

You shivered at the promise and bit your lip.

“It’s time to get cleaned up.” 

Henry was admiring his handiwork all over your body. You felt his cock thicken against your thigh. You couldn’t believe it.

“You need the shower?”

“Later. Now. I’m going to tidy you up a bit.”

And Henry’s lips claimed your breast, along with the rest of your body marked by him.

—-

At midnight, after some more fun in bed and the shower and takeout and more fun and another shower, you grabbed Henry’s sweatshirt and pulled it over your head. The sight of you engulfed in it, and knowing you were naked beneath made Henry want to cancel his flight. 

“Can I borrow this?”

Henry chuckled, “Borrow. Right.” Henry grabbed your neck and brought you in for a forehead kiss.

“Let’s trade. A sweatshirt for…”

He held up your still wet panties pulled out of his pocket. You gasped.

“No deal!”

Henry held it above your head as you tried in vain to jump and retrieve your underwear. You knocked him off balance into the couch and somehow wound up straddling his crotch.

Henry grabbed your ass as he felt the heat radiating off you.

“I can’t get enough, and now I have to leave…” 

His petulant pout was everything. So you kissed it.

“I’ve reconsidered, your sweatshirt smells like you. When I wake up wet from dreams of you, I want to be enveloped in your scent.”

You were trying very hard to be still, but you felt the bulge in Henry’s jeans get bigger. He brought your panties to his nose.

“My thoughts exactly.”

You started moving on Henry’s lap, your warm wetness seeping through the stiff material to his stiff dick.

“Give me one more thing before you leave.”

Henry’s eyes were dilated, lust blown and beautiful.

“Anything.”

“Your cum down my throat.”

“Christ, Doctor…”

#ask dj #dj will answer #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavill smut #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill #henry cavill x black reader #henry cavill x veterinarian!reader #doctor and mr cavill #henry cavill rpf #kal cavill

[extra-stout-stories]

That Little Bit Fatter

April 2024: A realistic vignette from my old blog which I'm reposting here to centralize likes/reblogs and deactivate my defunct account. (Second person feedee POV, encouragement, SFW.)

You got that little bit fatter, and now your shirts don't fit.

You can still button them up -- barely. But they're snug on the curve of your fat belly, and they just barely leave enough slack for you to tuck them into your pants under your belly hang. (Your pants are getting tight, too.) Sit down at the right angle and you can feel the buttons strain, but even when they're not, you can feel that snugness, that tightness, like a little whisper in your ear as you go through the workday: you're getting fatter.

You've had a double chin for years. But you got that little bit fatter and now you really look fat, no matter what the angle. Sit down at the right angle and you can feel your face sink into it. It feels comfortable.

You got that little bit fatter and your moobs stuck out that little bit further. Under your arms they've even turned into side rolls that you can grab a handful of and jiggle. Good thing you got that little bit fatter and your belly grew too, just to keep them in perspective.

You've had a belly for years, too. You've always been chubby. But you got that little bit fatter and now your belly is a real slab of flab, rolling over your waistline in a proper hang. You can't keep your hands off it, can you? Without even realizing that you're doing it you sometimes find yourself idly hefting it, feeling how soft and thick it's gotten, tracing your fingertips along the warm, soft line where it folds over.

Yes, you've always been chubby. But you got that little bit fatter and now you're undeniably, unmistakably fat. You can see it in people's faces sometimes, a subtle difference in the way they react when you reach for another helping of food. They're not seeing someone who's "let themselves go a little"; they're seeing a fat person, a person who loves to eat, who eats more than they're supposed to and doesn't seem to care. You'd be lying if you said it wasn't awkward sometimes, but you like it, too. You always secretly liked being fat, secretly loved to eat, even secretly fantasized about growing bigger. But you got that little bit fatter and crossed the line into properly fat and not just chubby, and now your fatness feels somehow realer, truer. You got that little bit fatter and suddenly your identity felt more secure.

You got that little bit fatter and you started testing your limits. You used to feel embarrassed by how much you could eat in a sitting. Now it feels like a challenge, and you're hooked on the excitement. You got that little bit fatter and you started enjoying going out to eat and ordering that extra appetizer, that extra dessert, even that extra entree. You got that little bit fatter and it was like giving yourself permission to embrace the glutton you've always been.

You got that little bit fatter and you liked it.

But sometimes, standing there hefting your belly hang in the mirror or lying back in your armchair and breathing heavily as you digest another big meal, it feels like it's still not enough. You're not that big. It's not like you're so fat that you can't reach past your belly. It's not like you're so fat that you can't walk.

Maybe tomorrow you'll add another snack or two to what you've already been eating. Maybe when you're in the snack aisle you'll look at the calorie counts and go for the highest one you can find. Just for fun.

Maybe you'll get a little bit fatter.

#feedist vignettes #wg fiction #wg fic #weight gain fiction #weight gain encouragement #feedist fiction #gaining weight on purpose #fat as identity #that little bit autobiographical

[kermit-coded]

reposting this from my defunct blog, have a happy halloween y'all!!

#soda speaks #halloween #trans #transgender #nonbinary #genderqueer #genderfluid #pronouns

[temptaetions]

boys like you 🌷 h.hj (m)

a/n: the photo above is from hyunjin’s marie claire shoot. i do not own the photo. that being said, this fic was originally posted by me on a different, now defunct blog, i own this fic. it was formerly titled “corre, amor.” i have since deleted it from that blog and am reposting a revised version on this blog. again, i wrote this fic and it is 100% my own. i also feel super self conscious about it. be nice plz.

synopsis: hwang hyunjin is like a burning fire - dangerous, passionate, and at times, hard to dissipate. you were frozen from within, your exterior only soft to his touch. when you are his polar opposite, it should be easy to melt at his fingertips, shouldn’t it?

genre: established relationship au | breakup au | x fem!reader | smut | angst | fluff

pairing(s): dancer!hwang hyunjin x poet!fem!reader | lee minho x han jisung

word count: 8.5k. lowercase intended.

rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

warnings: swearing, one-sided pining, minimal romantic fluff, some angst, minimal smut [between h.hj x reader: some degradation, heavy petting, heavy make-out session, handjob/semi-oral, nipple play, cum eating / swapping.] hyunjin has body piercings (nipples and belly button.)

what to listen to: advice - taemin | do it for love - thama, george | play with fire - sam tinnesz, yacht money | know me - dpr live, dean | different - woodz

everyone was convinced that your relationship with hyunjin was one-sided. from the outside looking in, you could understand why. oftentimes, it was him scouring the university in search of you, and yes, he had a photo of you in his phone case and his car dashboard. the boy you’d come to adore was nearly six feet of pure love for you — he even dedicated his showcase stages to you, choosing only the most sensual of love songs to show the student body that he was a burning fire.

and yet, as much as you loved hwang hyunjin, you remained solid. unmelted was your icy form, and as the time went on, people had begun to notice. slipping away from crowds after his showcases and losing hyunjin in them became a regular thing, and the apartment was often empty because neither of you were ever really home. much like your eyes when you looked at him these days, what used to be the world to you now reflected a beautiful blonde man with the prettiest lips this side of the han river. you still loved him, you’d convinced yourself of such. the only question left was, was it in the way he did?

once upon a time, all your poems screamed his name. from long winded monologues to neat, tight haikus, your words were stringed together to recreate the man you woke up next to every day for the past three years. exasperated sighs during your poetry slams showed the way your feelings for this man ate you up inside and god, you just couldn’t believe you’d finally found a good guy. a man that was the healing of the past and the brightening of the future, the man who truly made your days enjoyable. 

“good morning,” hyunjin was stretching in the living room as you allowed your sleep-deprived body to practically float through the apartment. lack of sleep due to the endless thinking and stress over school made you a zombie — one who didn’t have much of a knack for social interaction. nonetheless, you returned the sarcastic greeting, seeing as it was two in the afternoon on a nice sunday. the coffee in the pot was cold as you poured it, and you scowled as you grabbed some ice cubes but you couldn’t complain. had you been up on time, it would’ve been hot, you can hear hyunjin now.

“mm, you look nice,” you murmur as you slide onto the couch, watching your boyfriend’s shirt ride up slightly on his waist, exposing the sliver of skin you ran your fingers down before bed. he simply chuckled at your comment, a faint blush dancing across his cheeks as he continued his hip warm ups. “you’ve got rehearsal tomorrow after class, right?” sipping your coffee quietly, you saw hyunjin nod softly as he laid down on his mat. “yeah, unfortunately. i have to rain check our dinner tomorrow night, m’sorry, doll.” he closes his eyes as he rests his arms on his torso, and you slip off the couch to run your fingers through his soft hair. admiring him, you stroke his cheek gently as he opens his eyes, placing his hand above yours.

“your big showcase is coming up. dinner can wait, i’m always by your side.” you assured him of things you weren’t so sure of yourself, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. his eyes changed as you said that, but he nodded reluctantly as you placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “don’t practice too hard, my love. you know it worries me. i’ll be in the office if you need me.” 

“‘course, honey. don’t type your fingers off,” he’s muttering to himself, and he knows how much it bothers you but even the people who are supposedly perfect have bad days. a nice guy, really. “i heard that, pipsqueak.” you call back, placing your coffee cup on your desk, leaving the door slightly ajar to hear his recital music. as soon as you hear the first notes of the remix changbin made for him, minho and felix, you ease into your desk chair. closing your own eyes, you can see his movements in your mind from hours of watching them practice this routine, specifically two years ago when the dance team uploaded it to youtube. they planned on recreating it to see where it could take them, as a trio — seeing as the fluidity of the boys raked in millions of views, and thousands of dollars in donations to the school and the dance team.

none of which hit the creative writing and poetry department, but hey, the poetry slam videos didn’t do as well. to be fair, the poetry slam club didn’t do much to raise money but turned around to ask mommy and daddy — whereas, you worked for your fifty cents. unfortunately, your major had a huge influx of people who didn’t quite really appreciate the time and effort that it took to make your art — and a lot of them were actually there to please their parents, to say they went to college. as sad as it was, you realized your freshman year that you were surrounded by maybe a third of your class with an actual passion for writing, and even then, you would hear them mouth off about your classes being an easy a.

it sometimes made you wish to have picked a different field, at a different university. maybe even if you had pursued journalism like you had intended...maybe things would be different. you often notice your mind wandering off to these places, and you remind yourself you wouldn’t have met hyunjin. so, maybe things worked out in the end — even if you did watch your old friends travel out of the country on externship to major news companies and even land jobs before graduation. jobs you couldn’t pay to get, and so, you worked part-time at the italian restaurant down the street and hid from any possible peers that may come your way.

“y/n-ah, you promised me i’d score some free breadsticks if i brought you the coffee!” jisung was whining as you bagged up his order, missing the way you shot your coworker a knowing glance, chuckling to yourself. “yah! did your mother not teach you manners? i know what i said, now keep quiet while minho gets them.” you give him a pointed look, and he scowls as you take the warm bread bag and slip it into his knapsack. “love you, bud. take it easy, i know that ankle is killing you.” you pat his shoulder, and he smiles inwardly as he takes the bag shyly, whirling out of the shop with a soft call of goodbye.

“how’s hyunjin?” minho inquires, pouring some olive oil into his calzone dough mix. you watch as he turns the mixer on, leaning your cheek on the heel of your hand. you gave your friend a sad look, and he sighed as he took in the atmosphere. “i take it you’re feeling detached?”

“and i hate it. hyunjin is literally my best friend, he is the absolute love of my life! i don’t know what’s going on anymore.” you bury your face in your hands, letting out a groan of frustration. only minho knew of your inner turmoil, and that was because you knew he’d understand. he too, was in the same situation. the only difference was that he could give you a hyunjin perspective — because it was jisung that felt the way you did. but if you told jisung, there was a small possibility he would spill the beans — not on purpose, but it would happen eventually. minho was like a steel safe enclosed in another one that was bolted into the ground.

“you need to talk to him before he starts prying. why do you think jisung left without a word to me?” he’s kneading the dough angrily, and you wince at every harsh smack that lands. “do you think i enjoy coming home to an empty bed, while jisung is out late with chan-hyung and changbin? do you think i like opening my hulu account to see he’s watched seven episodes of how i met your mother without me? this is fucking ridiculous,” he was now rolling out the dough, the warm container of fresh marinara sauce nearly being spilt with the vigor in which the table was shaking.

“you seriously need to talk to him, babe.” you turn as the doorbell dings, and you’re met by the prettiest soul this side of the han river — hyunjin. feeling a small smile slip onto your face, you return to the register to see him smiling back at you. “why hello, how may i help you?” 

“hello, miss. i’m looking for a certain y/n, i’ve come to whisk her away for supper.” he’s holding a brown bag, and you just know there’s a steamy bowl of soft tofu stew waiting to be devoured. “i adore you, hwang hyunjin.” you skirt around the counter to kiss his lips softly, hands resting on his cheeks as one of his own comes to your waist, the tips of his fingers settling in your back pocket.

“minnie, i’ll be back in thirty!” you call out, and the boy waves you off with a chuckle. despite the obvious problems that you were skirting around, minho knew that you would always adore hyunjin, boyfriend or not.

physical attraction was also not an issue — he was gorgeous, but you hated reducing him to that, and anyone who did was immediately on your hit-list. hyunjin had talent, skill, and one of the kindest hearts you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. hyunjin was what you could call an all-rounder — he was efficient in every area of his life, including his relationship. which made you realize that perhaps, it was your lack of experience in relationships, in being treated nicely.

“i love those jeans on you,” hyunjin says as you walk hand-in-hands towards the back parking lot. “you say that because you bought them for me, even after i said i didn’t need them.” you roll your eyes as hyunjin lets go of your hand, instead using it to open the backseat door for you. this was routine, on days that hyunjin didn’t have late practices or managed to leave early — he would buy something you both loved, drive to your workplace, steal you from minho for a bit to grub, and then wait at home for you until you called to be picked up. sometimes you even drove minho home. however, hyunjin’s hand on your knee as he slid in after you, gave you a warm sensation throughout your chest.

you sighed contentedly, letting hyunjin get everything out of the bag. you began slipping your white jumper off, seeing as if any of the stew got on it, you’d regret blowing fifty dollars on it. you soon realized that the jumper was exactly why hyunjin offered to manage your finances. “spoon, napkin,” he was handing you things and you quietly took them, waiting as he began to lower the cup holder to place the stew between you.

“hyunjin, do you remember our first date?” you looked at the sun, hanging low in the sky as the nighttime approached. you had been sitting in this very backseat, your hands tangled in his hair as he showed you a song he loved at the time — and continued to, to this day it blasted through your speakers at home. it’d sort of become your song — but you shared many things with him that night. “you mean how you kissed me after you had texted me earlier that day that there would be no kissing? not saying i didn’t enjoy it,” he snorts as you whack his arm lightly.

“yah, it was a moment of weakness. the timing was perfect, you were perfect.” you lean against the door, leg propped up on the seat as your fingertips tracing the spoon in your hand. you feel a bit of emotion hit your eyes, but hyunjin softly pats your leg. “hwang hyunjin, how did i manage to find a man like you?”

“you didn’t, there’s nothing all that special about me,” you’ve both seemed to forget about the early supper as hyunjin lifts the cup holder up, and scoots closer to you, resting your legs atop his thighs. drumming his fingers along your shins, he smiled at the fond memory of the date. “if anything, i think it was a moment of rose-colored glasses. all i did was slide you a book from the top shelf.” it was true, you’d met hyunjin at the campus library. granted, it was your first time in there, and hyunjin had been a bit of an overachiever his first year — so he was in the right place at the right time as you groaned about the library stacking ten shelves high.

“i still can’t believe we had sex in that bathroom,” you shudder playfully, letting out a laugh as hyunjin gasped. “you suggested it! i just granted your wish!” laughing harder, you notice hyunjin admiring you softly. “yah, you’re making me shy.” 

“you’re beautiful,” his thumb caresses your cheek, and you glance at his lips before he slowly closes in. the softness of them, something you often envied, had always been enough to make you feel hot. the technique, his hand placement as he kissed you sweetly, always made you feel giddy. hyunjin was like a really good amusement park — you wanted to go on all the rides. without breaking the kiss, you adjusted yourself to sit on his lap, relishing the way his hands snaked to your belt loops to pull you closer. his tongue expertly slides into your mouth, a small gasp escaping your lips as his thumbs rub circles over your covered breasts, the flimsy tank top hiding your sensitive nipples but heightening the sensation.

subconsciously pushing your chest into him, your own hands struggle to find home as you slide them beneath his own shirt, feeling his softly chiseled muscles under your fingertips. the soft whine that emits from his lips as you brush his nipple accidentally, a gentle reminder of the small metal bar that he pierced in on a drunken night. if there was anything you and hyunjin shared, it was sensitivity.

his hands immediately pulled down the straps of your shirt, the material sliding off your breasts as he broke the kiss — lips dragging all over your chest, nipping and biting in all places. “wait, wait. take this off,” you pulled on his own shirt, and he obliged almost furiously, tugging his cardigan and shirt off in one go — pierced nipples and belly button on display. god, he was fucking gorgeous.

“mm, i like these.” your voice was low as you gently stroked them, adoring the soft rutting of hyunjin’s hips against your own. “be nice to me tonight, baby. i’m sore from practice.” he tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear, and you look at his swollen lips. a shy blush coats his cheeks as he looks away, your hand grabbing for his jaw to make him look at you, your eyes boring into his own. “fuck, you’re beautiful. you’ve always been so beautiful.” he whines, his hand at the nape of your neck and pulling you in for another kiss, rougher this time. his free hand circles around your waist, holding you in place as your lips connect again, but briefly because you begin to kiss down his jaw, stopping to nibble at his earlobe. adding to the sensation, you grind your hips down, and you take a small nip near his jugular, a whine of your name leaving his mouth.

“you sound so pretty, so, so pretty baby. do it again.” you suck on the skin softly, and with your hands pressed against his chest, he allows another murmured whine to ring in your ears, his skin hot to the touch. “fuck, y/n.” 

you find yourself tracing his stomach and waist, trailing kisses down his chest — and a welcomed sensation to him when you teasingly flicked your tongue on his hardened nipple. his hips bucked up and you chuckled, his fingers carding through his hair as you swirl your tongue around his nipple, heart beating against his chest insanely fast. “your heart is beating so fast.” whispering, you place a chaste kiss right above it, before trailing down slowly, maneuvering your back and legs to kneel before him, carefully so you’d fit nicely. hyunjin looked at you as you did so, following your every move with glassy eyes.

“take off your pants.” slightly hoarse, but he slipped his hands under the band of his sweats, shoving them down as you’d instructed. you watched like a hawk, the way his thigh muscles flexed deliciously as he shoved them down carefully. springing free, his cock was beautiful — not too thick, maybe two inches above average, leaking precum any time he let you get your hands on him. glancing up at him, you notice the soft love bites blooming across his chest and neck, smiling to yourself as you hover above his cock. running your forefinger along the underside, you relished in the power as hyunjin shivered under your touch. leaning down slightly, you give his tip a kitten lick, gathering a bit of his precum on your tongue — and you rest your hands on his thighs to hoist yourself up towards his lips.

taking your tongue in first, hyunjin kisses you slowly, allowing the taste of himself to marinate in your mouths. you gently drag your nails on his inner thighs, noticing the goosebumps trail along your boyfriend’s skin before you grab his shaft snugly. a surprised gasp disconnects your lips, and you take the opportunity to spit directly on his swollen tip, taking it into your mouth shallowly as you softly spread your saliva with his precum. all is calm as you begin sucking towards the underside of his tip, your tongue running along the thick vein of his length.

practically drooling a river, you push yourself to sink down a bit more, allowing his tip to barely brush the back of your throat — his dull nails are digging into your shoulder as you swallow around him, the pace of your movements excruciatingly slow as you pull off with a pop. a string of spit connected you to him as you pulled away, your lips swollen lightly as you took hold of his thigh, pumping his erection in one hand, kissing his lips chastely as you whispered sweet nothings. “i want you, so bad, baby.” he whines against your lips, and you almost feel bad as you sadistically smirk. “you always do, don’t you?”

you can feel his thigh quivering as he tries to hold back, but the overwhelming feeling of your lips dragging over his upper body and the tight, rhythmic stroking of his cock in your hand was all too much. you can tell because he’s beginning to look away, his eyes fluttering as you continue to murmur filthy words in his ear, his hips swiveling in light circles into your hand. “does the little slut want to cum?” and without warning, hyunjin was orgasming, his cum shooting out in warm spurts all over your chest. his eyes screwed shut as he trembled under your touch, and you simply smiled as he exhaled a breath you were sure he wasn’t aware he was holding in.

“found a new word for you, baby. you did so well for me, my love.” you laugh softly as you begin to wipe your breasts off with your finger, not noticing the way hyunjin’s tired eyes still held a bit of lust in them. taking hold of your hips, hyunjin pulled you up into his lap once more, leveling your chest with his mouth. he slowly dragged his lips over every open part, collecting his cum as he swirled his tongue over your breasts, nipping softly. appalled, you watched him through hooded eyes, an absentminded hand tangled in his hair leading him to your nipples every now and again. “kiss me, baby.”

his hand quickly finds home on your jaw, guiding the slippery kiss full of passion..when you hear a knock on the window. the sudden sound causes you to hit your head on the roof of the car, in turn making you bite down on hyunjin’s lower lip. not that he cared, it was hot.

“what the fuck!” hyunjin throws his shirt over you before tucking himself back into his sweatpants, and you panic-wipe your face and his, realizing just how foggy the windows had gotten. he takes a shaky breath before rolling down the window, only to see minho standing there with his arms crossed. “y/n-ah, you said thirty minutes.” he’s not happy, but hey, it could’ve been worse. you sigh in relief, dropping hyunjin’s shirt, not caring that minho has now seen your boobs as you tug your straps back up. hyunjin’s stomach felt like it fell out of his ass, but minho grimaces as he watches his younger friend wipe his face once more. “in the parking lot? really?”

“listen, sometimes you gotta make do.” you smile, kissing your boyfriend’s cheek apologetically. “i’ll see you at home, baby. promise.” kissing his lips gently one more time, you wave to him as he tries to catch his breath. slipping away with minho, you try to hide the sweat on your face from riling yourself up in a hot ass car just to get your boyfriend off.

“i expected more from you, y/n. you were gone for forty minutes,” minho scoffs as he wipes a tissue across your chest, and you feel your face heat something awful when you realize you still had some of hyunjin’s residue on you. how embarrassing. nonetheless, you scowl at your friend. “that’s barely ten minutes over!” you want to be mad at minho, but your mind can only drift to hyunjin as your empty stomach growls for the last twenty minutes of your shift.

“yah, hyunjin-ah. i’m home!” you call out as you slide your backpack off, noticing his favorite boots abandoned by the door.  minho had walked you home, so you figured there was no use in calling him anyway. rolling your eyes, you pick them up to place on the somewhat empty rack (it was usually full of shoes stacked upon each other), and it is only then you hear the lo-fi beats coming from your bedroom that you realize he may have fallen asleep. smiling to yourself, you tiptoe into the kitchen, finding the soft tofu stew in the microwave and you grant yourself permission to heat it up while you get ready for bed. popping the lid off, you slide it back in and quietly walk towards your bedroom, seeing your boyfriend bundled in the duvet like a burrito. his eyes were shut, lips parted softly and he was beautiful.

leaning against the doorframe, you admire him quietly, his light breathing drowned out by the music coming from your television. you take in the purple-tinted atmosphere, ignoring the backpack and duffle bag hidden in the corner of the room.

“stop staring at me,” you hear him mumble, and you let out a laugh. “i thought hwang hyunjin was sleeping, sorry hwang hyunjin.” you chuckle, moving to turn on the desk lamp to remove your makeup. he grunts in response, before sitting up and leaning back onto the bed frame. “yah, y/n. i need my beauty rest.”

“yeah? do you? you also need to study, you’ve got a fat ass final coming up in that anthropology class.” you tap your shared calendar, and sure enough, he had a test in two weeks. “honey, i deserve a break.” he groans, and you simply shake your head as you wipe off your lipstick, that had somehow managed to stay intact during your...earlier endeavors.

“yeah, baby. you do.” you smile at him through the mirror, noticing the way he seemed a bit...drained. “ah, i don’t like it when you look like that, hyunnie. what’s nagging you?” you say, slipping off your jumper and tank top, rustling in his drawer for a shirt, which felt surprisingly less full. his silence makes you rush, grabbing a random shirt you were sure belonged to changbin at some point but you shoved your head in anyway.

“i just...i’m feeling a bit cold.” he says quietly, and you freeze. “cold...cold meaning sick, cold meaning temperature, cold meaning—”

“you feel far away, y/n. i feel cold.” he reluctantly turns to face you, his hands in his lap. frowning, you tug off your jeans, grabbing a pair of his shorts to slide on. “baby, i—”

“no, y/n. don’t ‘baby’ me, you always do this. anytime i want to be closer to you and i want to show you off the world, you hide from me. every time i want to go do cliché couple things, like matching sweaters or something, you brush me off. am i a joke, y/n? is this funny to you? do you get off on being cruel to someone who loves you more than anything?”

the outburst is unexpected. you feel your chest heat with embarrassment, and you back away from the bedside where you had been standing. you feel your eyes well up with tears but you know there is no excuse for the way you’d been acting, and that he wasn’t wrong — and you couldn’t brush it off this time. looking down, you fiddle with your rings as you let his words sink in.

“i’m sorry, hyunjin. i wasn’t aware you felt this way,” you feel a lump in your throat and you wonder why — maybe after so long of hoping he would mess up in order to break up, you realized you didn’t want that. you look at him through blurred vision, the purple love bites you left now fully bloomed and an eyesore. “i know you weren’t, y/n. you never ask me how i’m feeling any more, much less have you ever. i understand we get caught up in our lives and i know that all this ‘other half’ stuff is bullshit, but you would make time for me, y/n. you were melting, and now you’re just back in the freezer.” he sighed, throwing the comforter off his legs and standing before you. wiping tears off your cheeks, hyunjin pulls you into a tight hug.

“i just want to know what i’m doing wrong.” and you break. “you’re not doing anything wrong, hyunjin. it’s me, it’s always been me. i’m just this broken piece of ice that’s been floating over the ocean for decades, hoping someday the sun will melt me down and i’ll become one with the water. i’m tired of not being able to give you the benefit of the doubt and realize that you won’t hurt me like everyone else has. it’s been three damn years, hyunjin. what am i doing wrong?”

“maybe you’re not ready for a relationship, y/n.” his voice is calm as he strokes your back, and you feel your heart start racing at the thought of losing him. regardless of what you’d thought before, the panic of being alone has now set in and you can’t imagine your life without him — and that in itself is a toxic mentality. you were not incomplete before you met hyunjin, and you would be fine if and when he ever decided to step out of your life.

“no, no. i am, i am ready. that’s why i’m here, i swear i’ll fix it—” your panicked hands stroked hyunjin’s face shakily, and you noticed tears in his eyes as he grabbed your wrists, cupping your hands in his own as he stood. “y/n, you’re not ready. for the past three years, i’ve felt alone in this apartment, no matter how many times you walked through that door. i felt you try to warm up, i felt your effort but slowly, you just kept pushing me back. ice is meant to melt at some point, my love. maybe you are something far more solid.”

and that is when you notice that he is fully dressed. his jewelry is still in, and he’s in a different jumper and sweatpants. his feet are covered with the cactus socks you snagged at target for him, and you suddenly feel your stomach do a backflip. suddenly, the less-crowded shoe rack, the organized drawer, the bags in the corner...they make sense.

“are you...are you leaving me?” your trepidation is clawing at your throat, and you can feel your nails digging into your palms. “no, y/n. you’re leaving me.” hyunjin wipes a tear from his face, holding one of your poetry books in his hand. he must have hid it under the blankets, and he hands it to you, opening it to a bookmarked page. you now see your world crumbling before you. furrowing your brows, you close it, your hand going limp as you stare at his socks.

“you read my work.” you let the book slip onto the floor, landing on the carpet with a soft thud. “it’s the only way i’ve even made it this far, y/n.” you feel betrayal rip through you, and you hate that the only thing you ever asked him not to do had been done. you didn’t care about hiding anything besides this flimsy book of poems that you hid beneath your bed every single time you wrote something new.

“get out.” you mumble, and hyunjin opens his mouth, only to press it in a tight line. he grabs his bags quickly, and you’ve seen now that he even cleared his own cosmetics off your vanity. you would miss dolling him up for his showcases. “i’ll see you at my showcase. i hope you’re still coming.” he said quietly, before padding silently into the living room, and eventually, you heard the jingle of his keys and the slam of the front door. hearing the lock turn, you felt the tears roll down your face uncontrollably.

and slowly, but surely, you’ve fallen asleep with your face buried in hyunjin’s pillow, the soft tofu stew long forgotten.

things had always been so neutral with hyunjin. he didn’t like fighting but he was petty as hell, so that canceled out. he didn’t like cooking but he was great at it, which also canceled out. he didn’t particularly care for shower sex, but when you did indulge, it almost made you angry how well it went down.

sex with hyunjin was quite the opposite of neutral — it was filthy, wet, slippery even. it was hot and heated and you loved every moment of whatever was happening — whether he had been pounding you into your mattress, or his face was buried between your thighs, everything was euphoric. and what made you furious was that whilst you had let yourself wallow in your sudden heartbreak, you didn’t realize that you craved the skinship you shoved away.

you missed waking up to his hand literally dangling in your face, his leg thrown over your hip, or his cold ass feet tucked onto the back of your thighs. you missed holding someone’s hand as you walked around campus, being kissed goodbye as he dropped you off for class while he was headed to practice. you hated seeing hyunjin across campus and not being able to call out his name and hand him the milk tea that you’d mistakenly bought for him ten minutes ago, having completely forgotten that you were broken up.

so you felt like an idiot holding two medium wintermelon milk teas as your ex-boyfriend walked closer with his entourage. you looked at minho, and as if sensing your eyes, he glanced up. meeting your gaze, minho’s jaw dropped as you trashed the drink, tossing it in the nearest garbage can — an action not missed by felix and hyunjin. “hey, y/n.” minho tried, and you glared at him as you walked past, nearly slamming into changbin and jeongin as you did so.

you ignored the ache in your throat, your eyes scanning the campus for chan. you had set to meet with him to study for your statistics final, and had been running late by getting boba. only then you realize you could have given him the extra drink, but you shook it off as you see his built form appear a few feet in front of you, his thick legs cozied in warm sweatpants that read 3RACHA down his thigh. “channie! wait up!”

he halts, looking up from his phone to look around. “ah, y/n!! how are you?” turning, he gives u a soft fist bump as you both begin the walk to the library. your hand took his elbow, and he was puzzled as you rushed him down the path. “are you okay? you seem off. did something happen with hyunjin?”

you were inside the library now, and you feel your stomach churn at the sound of his name, simply swiping your student card to get into the study room. you set down your backpack, toying with the zipper before you begin trying to form the words necessary. you tried to hold it in, but you couldn’t help and let a few tears slip out of your eyes as your lips quivered. “we broke up.”

followed by silence, chan seemed to understand as he stood, enveloping your limp form in a hug as you broke down for the third time that week. trying to hide your emotions from your friends was always easy, but you’d never felt defeat like this. you’d never allowed someone to see your heart and learn its ways, so knowing now that you had seen hyunjin’s and ignored it simply showed that you had taken him for granted.

“haven’t you got any faith in yourself, y/n?” he mumbles as he wipes your cheeks with his sleeve, taking hold of both your hands. “being single is the least of your worries, girl. let’s just cool off a bit and focus on this dumbass final that we’ve got to ace tomorrow.” chan began writing up practice equations that your professor had assigned earlier that week, and though you wiped your tears and whipped out your calculator — you regretted renting the study room across the very library you met hyunjin in.

the boys had wound up dragging you out of the apartment on the night of hyunjin’s showcase, making the coping process much harder and the carpool was just a bit more suffocating as you turned into an unfamiliar neighborhood to pick up the soloist for the night, hwang hyunjin. you looked at the houses on the street as chan cruised forward, only to stop in front of an old townhouse with a nice vegetable garden. you quietly looked out the window to see your ex-boyfriend kissing and older woman’s cheek goodbye.

“hey, scoot.” he opened the door and you reluctantly scooted over, realizing now why the boys asked if you wanted the passenger seat. hyunjin’s freshly dyed black hair would definitely be a show-stopper, and paired with the dance he’d prepared, you knew he’d steal some hearts. “nice hair.” you mutter, and you feel hyunjin sigh softly, pulling out his phone.

a minute later, you feel your phone vibrate in your clutch. a small lump in your throat forms as you see you’ve forgotten to change his contact name.

[4:54PM] baby ♥︎🩰: would you be willing to do my makeup for the showcase..?

glancing up, you grimace as you see hyunjin staring out the window with flaming red cheeks. scowling, you type back a short ‘yes’ and stare at the bouquet in your lap for the rest of the drive.

backstage was crawling with dancers and makeup artists, but hyunjin had managed to convince the stage manager to get him and the boys off in a green room in the concert hall. seeing as the stage manager apparently owed hyunjin for some favor years ago, he’d snuck hyunjin the key as you strolled quietly backstage with the boys. minho and felix just needed to get dressed, they would be waiting in the audience for their turn on stage for the group performances. you feel set up, somehow.

you waited quietly on the sofa, scrolling mindlessly through twitter as you let the boys rustle around getting into their outfits. seeing as hyunjin had a solo and a group dance, his bag was twice as heavy. “okay, i’m heading out. we’ll be up third.” minho was buttoning his shirt as he started walking out, felix trailing behind him as he smoothed on some chapstick. the room felt thick with tension, yet you pushed past it to set up hyunjin’s makeup on the vanity table, your fingers dusted with eye glitter.

“these are for you,” you set the bouquet down on the vanity as you allow him to finish getting dressed. a bouquet of mixed flowers, bold and colorful — daisies, cornflowers, honeysuckles, red tulips and carnations. an eyesore that you adored. you knew you wouldn’t be around after the performance, so you simply slipped your note into the bouquet when he silently clipped in his jewelry.

best of luck, my love. forever yours, y/n <3

“why are you being so quiet?” hyunjin asked as he came up behind you, buttoning his shirt quickly. “yah, i’m not being quiet. i feel awkward, i want to get this done and over with, hyunjin.” you say, moving out of the way so he can sit down, and you sweep his hair off his face, ignoring the temptation to kiss his forehead like you usually would. you know, for someone who had had a hard time melting to form into what hyunjin ‘needed’, you sure had no trouble being what hyunjin craved. he hadn't realized that until his first actual night without you.

he was freezing.

“be gentle with me.” he said as you patted moisturizer under his eyes, listening out for the start of the first performance. “i always am.” you whisper, not allowing the tears building up to escape as you blink them back. hyunjin’s gaze on your face was intensely intimidating as you carefully blended a muted terracotta shade on his eyelid, and you think you imagine the pout on his lips until you go back in with a brown pencil liner. “yah, hwang hyunjin! why are you pouting?”

he looks down at his hands, toying with the loose strands on the holes of his jeans. you frown, dusting on an easy amount of blush before grabbing his lip tint. your hand grasps his jaw, his eyes widening as you do so.

“you’ve gotten so mean,” he mutters as he puckers his lips, and you feel a smile sneak onto your face as you dab the tint on lightly. “you’ve always liked it.” you almost kiss him, out of routine, but the cold air in the room reminds you of what can no longer be. a sad feeling washes over you as you spray his face lightly with a setting spray, and wave your hands around him to dry it.

“you’re going to do great out there, hyunjin. i know it.” holding his arms, you rub them gently one last time before hearing the second song start for the next group, starting your brisk walk out of the room. “wait.” stopping in place, you don’t turn as you hear his feet patter behind you, and you feel his presence on your back as his hand takes hold of your wrist. slowly, he turns you around and your eyes are closed, not wanting to know what the next two minutes may hold. you don’t realize you’re backing up against the door until you’ve hit it, and your eyes open to see his face ghosting over yours. his breathing is shaky, and you can’t help but feel tears fill your eyes as you brush your lips against his.

kissing you back softly, his hand finds home on your waist — and you feel a tear roll down as you wrap your arms around his neck. your lips are burning his skin but he relishes in the warmth he’d been missing for the past two weeks. your skin is hot to the touch and he realizes…

maybe it was him that needed melting.

“good luck, hyunjin. you’re gonna be fine.” you sniff as you push him away, exiting the green room as quickly as you could, hearing the second song coming to an end. you’re sprinting towards the auditorium at this point, nearly crashing into minho as he and felix are rushing towards backstage to set up in the thirty seconds they have. “first row, fourth seat!” felix yells as you open the auditorium door, and you nearly bust a lung trying to catch your breath while sliding into the seat next to jisung.

“hey, sungie.” you take a deep breath and han jisung simply shakes his head — his hand taking hold of yours as the curtain rises with the boys in position. of course, hyunjin is front and center as the spotlight catches him directly, his hands crossed across his face in a gesture you’d memorized from his practices. the music begins, and once more you’re drawn in by the fluid movements of his body, the body control he carried on himself was something many dancers would die for. suddenly, it’s like there’s no one else in the room but you and him. you’re locked on his swiveling hips, the flow of his arms as he melted into the music.

and you fall in love all over again.

“our last soloist for the night has been well anticipated in many ways. the star of the show, the one and only man of the hour — let’s hear it for our very own hwang hyunjin!” the announcer is far too excited in your opinion, and you roll your eyes as the entire auditorium goes up in screams, joining them in their clapping. the crowd dies down as the curtain rises, and you hold your breath as hyunjin steps into view, a piece of white ribbon in between his teeth as he looks into a gold-framed mirror. he ties his hair back carefully as he stares into the mirror, and as the beat drops in, your jaw locks. his hand wraps around his neck lightly, before looking back with a finger in his mouth.

he rips off the veil-like cape and before you know it, he’s on the ground and you understand now why the entire crowd is entranced as his knees alternate, the way his hand covers his joker-like grin and the way he’s sliding around the floor is simply delicious. fan service, you think reluctantly as you hear a group of individuals screaming in a lust-filled pitch.

the silver details make him glimmer as he releases all his emotions on the stage, and you feel your thighs clench as you catch a glimpse of the belly piercing you adored. your nails are digging into your palm as you realize how high the shirt has come undone, and it is only now that you recognize the song playing in your ears as hyunjin’s performance comes to an end with his hand around his neck once more, the lights dimming as the last line rings in your mind.

i’ve always liked to play with fire.

you feel your heart stop in your chest as hyunjin throws the rose he’d held in his mouth in your general direction, and the crowd screams once more as he leaves the stage, pulling the ribbon out of his hair as he exited. you ignore all the screams as you feel the urge to get up and leave the premises like you have every single time hyunjin had a showcase. you want to push your way out the doors and run home to a pillow that doesn’t smell like him anymore but you pretend it does in hopes of some sort of manifestation that he’d show up in your dreams again.

you can’t help but slip your heels off and bolt for the exit as the dancers come back on stage for their final bow. you see hyunjin in your peripheral view and like always, you ignore it. you ignore the beet red blush on his face as people throw flowers at him and scream his name, and you ignore the way he pushes through the crowd to find you in the parking lot. you ignore the cold on your back as you manage to hail a taxi and slip in, giving the driver your address in a hurried sob as you see hyunjin exit the building behind you. you ask her to step on it as you feel the lump in your throat grow, and she gives you a pitiful look as she steps on the gas. you feel bad. you always do when you run away from what is best for you.

“trouble in paradise, honey?” she asks quietly, and you nod as your phone vibrates repeatedly, surely spam calls from the boys. “he loves me far more than i could have imagined. it is sad that i am simply not enough for him in my own eyes.”

“oh my, dear. you will always be enough. look at you, you’re young! you’re full of life even when you look like you’re having a rough time, you look like what i wish i looked like twenty years ago! you’re the it girl, baby. cherish it.” she sighs as she stops in front of your apartment, and you dig through your clutch for some cash. “don’t worry. this one’s on me, but i think you could make it work.” she looks into your eyes and you feel your soul ache as you nod.

“i will, auntie. thank you.” you exit her cab, scurrying up the stairs to your apartment quietly. you feel winded as you unlock your door, and you throw your heels onto the empty rack. you wander mindlessly about your apartment, standing in front of what once held photos upon photos of you, hyunjin and all your friends. memories that were once stuck to the wall were now stacked up on the dining room table, and you sighed as your fingers touched the thumbtack holes.

“in this maze of memories, where did i lose you?” you whisper to yourself, sighing as you trail towards your bedroom, plopping face first onto your bed, ignoring the sudden whiff of hyunjin’s scent coming off your pillow. “how cruel it is to live in a world where you’re not even in my photo albums anymore.”

hyunjin had started to distance himself more, and last you’d heard, he was offered to study a year abroad in france with minho and felix. good for him, i wish him well, you’d told jisung when he shared the good news. minho and jisung managed to work it out, with jisung having been offered a year abroad as well for music production with the dance team, they realized it was time to figure out who they were to each other. you find out the person hyunjin kissed a few months back before the showcase was his grandmother — she’d recently moved into that old townhouse.

you couldn’t really swallow down the pill that hyunjin wasn’t yours anymore, but the universe didn’t give you much of a choice as it kept turning. you’d lost your passion for poetry, and the dream to be a huge name in journalism in the months after. you’d given your poems to be displayed in the creative writing hall at your university, and you realized that nothing you wrote was ever about anything besides hyunjin. everything was connected back to him, and it seemed the world knew that as you dropped your major entirely, and when your advisor questioned what you would be changing it to, you simply shrugged and told her you didn’t know. i want to see the world, you said. university is tying me down.

seeing as you had officially finished the year, you had no loose strands to burn besides packing up and moving out of your student apartment. you’d sent hyunjin his things via seungmin and jeongin, who were kind enough to help you move out and get a moving van back to seoul. you were going to spend the summer with them, seeing as they simply planned to go all around seoul auditioning for companies. 

you were taping the last box when you heard a soft knock at the door.

looking up, you see hyunjin. back to his blonde hair, glowing in all his glory. you give him a tight lipped smile, and stand up to greet him quietly. “hello. i heard you got offered a year in france. congratulations.” you mumble as you stand in front of him, and he nods silently. the tension is thick as he shifts from side to side, before clearing his throat.

“i saw your poems in the hall.” he whispered, and you scoff, scratching your neck shyly. “yeah, i decided to say goodbye. sort of lost touch with that dream.” he doesn’t say anything, but you look to see his eyes screwed shut as he leans against your doorframe. “i didn’t know you wrote so much about me, y/n.”

“everything i’ve ever written has been about you, hyunjin. you were my lucky star, the moon i talked to every night. you held all my creativity, because you were my only inspiration.” you shrug, and hyunjin simply stretches his arms out. “come, let me hold you.”

and for a moment, this is okay. you’re okay, feeling the warmth of his body against your own and hearing his soft heartbeat. you’re okay, realizing that you will never stop loving hwang hyunjin, no matter how far he is. you’re okay, knowing that he also loves you, and you’re okay with the soft kiss he plants on your scalp.

“i turned it down. i got into a company,” he murmurs, and you gasp. “and even though i’d be under a dating ban, i figured i’d let you know that i miss you and that i’d override that for you, if you’ll have me. i miss waking up with you and i miss walking to class together. i miss you, and i love you. i hope that we can be together someday, again. whether it’s tomorrow or in ten years, just know my heart belongs to you.”

you can’t begin to explain why he should run. so you won’t. you won’t crush him with your fears, or your doubts of what’s to come — because in the end, the love you fear you don’t deserve has already begun. you smile into his chest, breathing in the soft scent of his perfume. “i love you.”

temptaetions © 2022. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

#kdiarynet #kvanity #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin fic #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin fluff #hyunjin #hyunjin fic #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin angst #hyunjin smut #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x reader #stray kids #skz #skz imagine #skz fic #skz fluff #skz smut #skz angst #useremme:originals 🌷

[formula1fanfiction]

Hello everyone, I've recently had a close family death and i'm just not in the mood to write and anything I did would probably be very depressing.

I'll still be posting, I have some fics to repost from my old defunct blog.

I'll reassume the list in a couple of weeks.

thank you, much love - Izzy <3

#Personal

[curiositydooropened]

Eddie Munson Masterlist

This blog is 18+ only. I do not give permission for any of my fics to be duplicated, reposted, or put into AI. Thank you!

Navigation • Masterlist

Series

Cherry Flavored Summer [wip] - Eddie x femme punk!Reader - The summer of ‘85 is as hot and sticky as any other, but when Eddie runs into you on his shift at Big Buy, he thinks this year might be his year. 

Late Checkout - The cursor blinked. A writing retreat at an exclusive 5-star ski resort. A New Years Eve party in the moody lodge bar. A handsome heir. A bratty bad boy. A snowstorm blocking every guest from the outside world.

Oneshots

Working Through It - Your new job as night janitor of the defunct Hawkins Lab seemed like a soothing task for your social anxiety. At least it was until you started working with Eddie "the Freak" Munson. The combination of his head-banging and the swirl of chemicals in the air provides for one Hell of a work day.

My Whole Life, Too - Seven years after you've left Hawkins, a beautiful day for a wedding in New Mexico brings up old feelings. You're hoping to make the most of it with the comfort of best friends.

Better Off - Four years since Argyle's wedding, Robin invited you and the gang to her boss's lake house. Hoping good memories will be made, you're forced to wrestle with some ghosts of your past. *In the same Universe as My Whole Life, Too

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson masterlist #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things fic

[majorbaby]

very very long rant

when i first left tumblr after the porn ban, the sjw stuff was starting to plateau, but you still had big bloggers ironically calling themselves misandrists in bio. I say ironically because unlike an open misogynist, an open misandrist cannot amass vast structural power, they instead will remain on the fringes of society. before they can even be shunned in the mainstream or the elite, they're being shunned by their own peers.

at that time, there was a lot of popular blogs run by (sometimes allegedly) racialized people or "poc-run spaces" like thisisnot[country] and blogs specifically dedicated to pointing out cultural appropriation. i personally contributed to the reclaimthebindi which in retrospect seemed inspired by blackout selfie day (not to be confused with thr subsequent 'blackout' posts associated with BLM - that was later), altho idk to what extent the south asian diasporic community (of which i am a part of) actually paid homage to the black blogger/s responsible for blackout day.

now many of those blogs are defunct or have been scrubbed from level-one searches of tumblr, and their history has not been well documented. it's hard to understand what the climate was unless you were there because not many secondary sources, like the one you're reading right now i suppose, exist. or they weren't well-circulated. this one won't be, i'm turning off reblogs i think.

this is, in my opinion, in contrast to other major trends in internet culture that inform offline social justice movements. that's your gxmxrgxte (so well-ingrained in my memory that it still upsets me enough to censor today), metoo and the annual around ao3's right to host any and all content with very limited few exceptions.

reclaimthebindi is still up, so are a few of the thisisnot blogs, but you can't really tell that they were all interconnected, a part of the same zeitgeist. i have a few theories as to why, and which one you pick depends on how generous you are when imagining the people who ran these blogs. some of them for sure were run by bored college students seeking an outlet. some of them were denied recognition by their offline peers because of racism, so it felt good to find a space where they could actually amass social capital on the basis of the very thing that disadvantaged them in every other space. some were concerned with punitive justice, others with restorative justice. some just posted black and brown bodies so that those images would exist on the internet somewhere. some were run by racefacing white people who also felt like outcasts offline, and saw a quick and easy way to be embraced elsewhere. it's possible that some people did it for a combination of these reasons.

whatever benefits there may have been, it wasn't enough to keep the momentum going. very few put out 'retirement' statements, most just stopped posting and were eventually purged. tbh, i see the draw in airing your grievances all in one place, but it's exhausting, and eventually your supporters grow tired of the negativity, and you grow tired of the negativity too. that's why i think it's usually better to stick to posting and sharing the stuff you love, not the stuff you hate, or at least, find a balance. though their presence is much, much smaller, creator networks for women, lgtbq, and racialized people have sprung up, and so have spaces where people post and repost art that engages with class, race, gender etc.

but it still feels like racialized people have a much quieter voice on tumblr. i have to rely on stumbling upon them naturally, which is next to impossible, especially if you're on tumblr for a small to medium sized fandom, which i think most fandoms are these days. your supermassive fandoms - doctor who, sherlock, kpop, harry potter, the mcu, also no longer dominate the site. i would still say tumblr is the big fandom site, but a lower user count means that the internet's fandom site is smaller than before.

so, less users in general, and any existing minority shrinks. and if we're talking racialized people who are lgtbq, that's an even smaller minority.

this in my opinion has contributed in a major way to the backlash against feminism, the idea that "terfs ruined feminism" with the subtle suggestion that feminism has perhaps failed, or was never really good to begin with, and a laser focus on terfs as the ones responsible as though the mainstream, patriarchal, cis-heteronormative bloc had absolutely nothing to do with it. or the ludicrous idea that terfs are the mainstream, patriarchal cis-heteronormative bloc. two things can be bad, that doesn't mean they're the same thing.

anyway! a big part of the original tumblr feminist movement was not just the "poc run blog" but in the "woc run blog". "poc" was absorbed into BIPOC, and "woc" is a legacy term. your woc were regularly venting about how being a woman of colour means choosing between your race and your gender, putting up with the misogyny of the racialized men in your life who you show up for constantly but who throw you under the bus when the white man asks them how high to jump. now there's white lgbtq bloggers all over the place asking whether you "include black and brown men when you said you say men are trash?" (yes, i absolutely am) and if you ask that question to a room full of white people, they're all going to keep their mouths shut because they don't want to appear racist.

well, white men do not have a monopoly on misogyny. misogyny levied at racialized women by racialized men is a huge intra-community barrier to trying to organize against racism and white supremacy. it is extremely upsetting to see white people suggest that racialized women, lgbtq people and children are not oppressed by the racialized men in their own communities. that we are not survivors of domestic abuse, sexual abuse or that we do not endure oppression under patriarchy in the home, workplace and in society inflicted upon us by our own kin, which compounds upon what we already absorb from white people.

and they can go on doing so on here because many racialized women have shut up and gone away. even running blogs aimed around celebrating themselves has become a service to white consumers that they've done thanklessly for years. just to hear that actually, they have no right to say "men are trash" because what if the brown man that abused them or their mom or their aunties overhears and gets his feelings hurt. didn't we discern the difference between hurt feelings and systemic oppression almost fifteen years ago on tumblr dot com?

like, sure, maybe we should adjust "women only spaces" to be "spaces for women and trans people" but we can do that and not pretend that we have absolutely no idea why women live in fear of men, or that a reasonable amount of fear is completely unwarranted.

man it is one thing to come back here to find all the, admittedly, sometimes kind of annoying sjw blogs around race gone, and another to see a resurgence of popular MRA talking points. but i see how that's happened. racialized women are done talking about this, and who can blame them. white women, and i wish i only meant cis women, get slapped with 'terf' the second they open their mouths, so they are also done talking about this.

if you managed to read all of this please be a little careful when reblogging posts that are critical of feminism. yes, there are a few bad-faith actors within feminism, but feminists in general are a minority group, even if it doesn't feel that way on tumblr. think about it, how long has it been since you saw someone with 'feminist' in bio? is it a good thing to keep facilitating this growing resentment against feminism? has feminism done nothing for us? should we toss it out with the bathwater?

[spontaneousglitterbees]

Not sure how many of these count, but these are comics I haven’t seen mentioned in the Tumblr Lore Discussions yet that I’ve collected over the years. Some honestly just stuck in my memory more than anything, but here they are nontheless

Fairytale Vibes

Sweetrock by melgillman

CW: animal death// Something Nice by draconym

Different Stories Resonate with Different People (’eat shit & die 233′) by bpatrick via Akimbo Comics

Spring Comic by tomb-of-madeline

CW: referenced suicide// The Fish Wife by melgillman

CW: gore, death// Zombie Dog collaboration, original by sangcoon with addition by grimbarke [source link defunct]

Not from tumblr users but significant to the site’s lore: The Two-Headed Calf by Laura Gilpin [repost]

life after death by Justin McElroy

Monster/human Friendship by phantomqueen

Midnight Radio by elcomics

Scaredy Cat by Heather Franzen (rebloggable ver.) [tumblr link credits artists blog, work is frequently reposted without credit]

CW: body horror// Eleanor Rigby was About Zombies by ghostabletoastables [source link defunct]

How to Train Your Dragon by emmatheward

Mom Knight (Lady Tilda and the Dragon) by smgoetter

Parasite and Girl by saccharinescorpions

Goldilocks and the Constellations by earthsong9405

Frog and Scorpion by fluorescentnova

On the Importance of Space Travel (Princess of Pluto) by Svetlana Chmakova [link from original artist’s blog, work is often reposted without credit]

Nice Does Not Mean Good by tooquirkytolose

Erwin and the Method Demons by santapau

CW: animal death, sad but uplifting// p much all of jenny-jinya’s Loving Reaper comics, but this one sticks out to me

a decent exorcist by pocketss

Other (Mostly) Lighthearted Comics

Untitled. by that-house

Sphinx Couple by trackalaka

strange bog girl makes a friend by pocketss

Be Good to Eachother by Naterade

Crab’s Lost Love by Gunshow/K C Green

The Holiday Boar by guavajagular

Cyborg Date on the Waterfront by Adrian Ricker

take him back by charminglyantiquated

Hatching Pumpkins by iguanamouth

Cassandra by 16ruelaverrerie

CW: mentioned animal death// Wooly Bear’s Birthday collaboration thread [original urls appear defunct]

@hellsite-folklore

#comics #masterpost #hellsite-folklore #tumblr lore #stories #reclist

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Heyyy! I follow you on Twitter and I'm very new to Tumblr 💀 I'm so incredibly glad I found your page tho, I followed you instantly. If possible, could you share some of your fellow eruri Artists and writers on here whom I can follow? I'm still learning and therefore having a little trouble finding them. Just want a curated timeline and would appreciate absolutely anyyy help you can provide 💜

Hello and welcome to the hellsite Anon! I was just thinking that it might be useful to post something for Eruris fleeing the shitshow that is twitter.  

So the easiest way to find active Eruri blogs to follow is to look at my blog and to follow the people I’m reblogging. You can do that by hovering over the name of the blog and clicking follow.  You can also choose whether or not to get alerts from blogs you follow. I would open up my own list of the blogs I follow, but tbh my own timeline is a mess.  I’ve been here so long that a lot of the blogs I follow are defunct, or are no longer active in the fandom.  

One nice feature of tumblr is that most blogs have an archive, like this https://lostcauses-noregrets.tumblr.com/archive, which will give you a quick overview of the content they post.  Not sure whether a blog is regularly posting content you’re interested in?  Look at the archive.  It's also a good way to see if the blog is still active. We lost a lot of amazing content during the tumblr purge but there's still a wealth of amazing Eruri content going right back to 2014 in old blog archives.

I have a tags page on my blog here https://lostcauses-noregrets.tumblr.com/tags, which links to lots of Eruri artists, but it’s very out of date.  Many of the artists linked here are no longer active (though their archives are *chef’s kiss*) and I haven’t got round to adding many of the more recent artists who are active. It’s still worth taking a look at though. 

Another way to find blogs is to follow the tags.  On your tumblr dash you’ll see Following (blogs you follow), For you (shit tumblr recommends) and Your tags (posts tagged with any tags you choose to follow).  I follow #eruri #erwin smith and #levi ackerman.  Be warned though, you’ll get all kinds of shit in the tags, including spam, pornbots and stuff you may not be interested in.  Reader fic is hugely popular on tumblr for example.  I have nothing against it, but it’s really not my thing, so I just ignore it. 

Look out for blogs that re-post other people’s art without permission.  This used to be a cardinal sin both here and on twitter but people seem to be ignoring that basic rule more and more often. I tend to block blogs that repost without permission.  Luckily there are still few excellent blogs that cross post gorgeous Eruri art with permission from the artists.  @story-kat is one of the best. 

Fic and meta isn’t as widespread on tumblr as it used to be in the heyday of the manga, however I can highly recommend following @tsuki-no-ura who is one of the most active and conscientious translators in the fandom.  It’s worth following @momtaku too, they’re not currently active, but their blog is the fount of all canon knowledge.  Several of the ship weeks have active tumblr blogs too including @eruriweek

I hope that helps Anon, if you’re looking for anything in particular, just ask! 

#asks #eruri #welcome to the hellsite #snk

[eclipsecrowned]

kadi's to-do:

post the opens (6/9, will reblog again once complete)

resume messaging people to plot

repost some muse info packs/headcanons from various defunct blogs

perhaps... redo my interest checker to be more organized/include more muses...

since carrd is not going as fast as i thought, add some new/re-added muses to the mobile muse page

#out of stories #i am closing today but i have a few hours before i have to start getting ready :3 #i wanna add v*llioth n th*niel and v*conia and ismail. hilariously their carrd pages are done. but they're not on this muse list #great shame upon myself and my cow

[shychick-52]

They're gonna be ok...

Scrooge and the kids' very last lines:

Huey: You don't have to worry about us, Uncle Scrooge. We're smarter-

Dewey: We're tougher-

Louie: We're sharper!

Webby: And we'll earn our way square!

Scrooge: *proudly* Couldn't have said it better myself!

I tear up EVERY. DUCKING. TIME. Because of how much this family's grown and learned and evolved since we very first met them, how far they've come (and that not only includes Scrooge and the Ducks, but EVERYONE, because they're ALL family), how many challenges and threats they've overcome together. And I honestly get the impression they were meant to be assuring the audience of this- that they're going to be ok, no matter what, even if that was mostly the last we'll see of them; Frank and Matt said something very similar in an interview (I've read quite a few interviews from them about the finale), so I think that was their way of telling us that.

Thanks, Frank, Matt, and everyone involved for giving us such a work of passion. You captured lightning in a bottle with this show, especially as far as reboots go, and I'm still heartbroken it's over. I still miss it. I'm so grateful they were able to finish telling the story they set out to tell from the very beginning (including the twist about Webby).

And yet, I've always felt like it's one of the more underrated Disney shows.

#reposted from my defunct blog #(with slight edits) #ducktales 2017 #ducktales #huey duck #dewey duck #louie duck #webby vanderquack #scrooge mcduck #the last adventure #character analysis

[its-stimsca]

Hey there!! I think i want to start making stimboards, but i personally cannot make gifs for multiple reasons, unless you know a good phone app or if IBIS can make gifs !!

Do you have any suggestions and tips ?

Are there blogs that don't mind using their GIFs as long as credit is somewhere ? Or is that typically frowned upon anyway?

I wanna be respectful so i understand if this means i cannot make stimboards until I'm able to make gifs myself :3

Hi!! The way I personally make my gifs is through using ezgif, and I’m fairly sure a bunch of other stimboard makers use this website too because it’s very convenient and free. Just submit the video you want to gif (not the whole thing, just a trimmed section of what u wanna gif), and it’ll convert it to a gif for you. Make sure to credit the original video if you post a gif of it, though, as it’s really important to give credit to the source

As for reusing gifs other people have made, pretty much all of the time it’s going to be okay to use someone’s gif in a stimboard, as long as credit it’s given. In fact, most people in the stim community on tumblr make gifs with the intent of them being used in stimboards. Some really great blogs that make a lot of original gifs to be used in boards that I go to a lot are @/talos-stims, @/heartnosekid, @/helium-stims, @/aliens-stim-too. There are a lot of other good ones too, but there are a few just to get you started.

You don’t have to specifically search a blog to find gifs though. Using the main tumblr search function you can type what you’re looking for, just include the tag “stim” in your search, and a lot of stuff will come up. You can use gifs that someone else has used in a stimboard, too. Just try your best to follow their sources to the original creator, and link it directly to there instead of the stimboard you took it from. A lot of stimboard blogs get deleted, which can lead to your link to the board becoming defunct in the future and that credit being lost for people down the line trying to source a gif.

If you’re making a gif of an animation or using a piece of art someone has drawn, that’s when you want to directly ask someone for permission. Most artists don’t mind as long as credit is given, but it’s important to check. If it’s a big artist that you can’t send asks to or contact in some way, just make sure to tag them in the post of the stimboard, that way if they can see you’ve reposted their art somewhere, and they can reach out to you if they don’t want it there.

The most important thing when it comes to all this is just to source your gifs. Copy the links in the notes app on your phone, a google doc, I personally do it on a discord channel, it doesn’t matter, just make sure you have SOME kind of credit to the gifs in your stimboard linked below your post. Don’t stress too much about messing up the first couple of times though, you get better at it and you can always go back and fix stuff later.

Hopefully this helps and wasn’t too much of a ramble. I’ve been thinking about making a sort of guide on my process of making boards actually, but haven’t gotten around to it since idk if anyone would be interested. Anyways that’s all

#not stim

[best-captions]

I’m intrigued why you have ‘Every Like and Reblog creates a Smile on my face’ at the head of your page, but as best I can tell, pretty much every caption on your page is stolen - not reblogged - from other tumblrs?

Someone seems mad that I'm reposting my collection of captions.

Unlike others, I leave watermarks from Defunct or Functional caption blogs or sites. And don't crop and plaster my own watermarks.

Nothing's "stolen" in porn captions 😂😂🤣.. considering the ppl who made these captions.. also stole the image they used to caption it.

Of course I like it when ppl re blog my stuff. I get to talk to a lot of ppl 🫠 so should I change the tag line to "go fuck yourself don't like anything" ? 😂

There's 247 captions out of the 1000s in que that I have hand made over the years.

LCC-Kd-Kink demon-and like 2 other marks are my marks.

If u want to see the NSFW I operate a discord where we post the better stuff 🫠 (hence why everything is reposted by a discord to here.)

FYI this is my 3 cap blog. As the others have been banned. I make long form caption stories aswell 🫠

Tldr

All my Custom hand made captions get "STOLEN" 🤣 (by your view). So why can't I use others 😇

Here a few of my more fav recent ones from me to you losers 🤣

#beta sissy #feminine sissy #beta bitch #demoness #faggot humiliation #footgoddess #humiliation sissy #locked and denied #lockedsissy #sissylover

[finn0la]

Do you know who this artist is? I didn't want to post it on my blog to ask who it is because that would be reposting it w/o their permission, so I thought putting it on an ask would be more appropriate. I've been obsessed with this piece for a while now (big fan of Crocodile is Whitebeard's son idea)

if you can believe it, i definitely recognized this art when i saw your ask, but i couldn't remember exactly where i saw it.

i did a little digging and i think i found the source, but unfortunately, the twitter account is deleted, and some of the easier methods of finding old tweets (checking the google search cache, for instance) weren't turning up with anything.

in any case, many of the other instances of this image online link to the same defunct twitter account, including the twitter pinterest account, so i think it's relatively reliable.

that account is お湯屋 (@kitunoyuusi)! while they don't have a twitter anymore, they do still seem to have a pixiv. although it's possible this is just a different person with a similar name and art style, i think there's a solid chance they're the same.

the pixiv doesn't have the art you linked, nor some other art i've found associated with this account, but the most recent post was from 2016, whereas i think this art may be a little more recent. so it's possible they just didn't post this particular piece on their pixiv.

while searching i found a similar image that links back to the same author, again from the twitter pinterest account:

regardless, because their twitter is down and pixiv is inconclusive, i'm not entirely sure how they feel about full-on reposts. still, we can appreciate their adorable, creative artwork and credit them as best as possible, even if they might not ever see it!

p.s.: i actually love digital media archival, especially from one piece, since it's been around for so much of internet history. i have a personal website where i collect and store old (typically early 2000s) fanart, fanfic and personal websites for one piece, just for the sake of keeping records on a fandom i care about. i've been a bit too busy to update it recently, but it's a passion project of mine, so asks like this one are more than welcome.

thanks for the question! ❤️

#sorry it took me a while to get to this! i've been super busy with exams 😭 #but i hope i could help even a little!! #long post #asks #misc

[infinityslilsideblog]

Deco Sources

⚠️ General epilepsy warning for the sources listed

My deco sources are compiled of a lot of archives of pixels from sites like Neocities and Deviant Art. Unfortunately that means most of the individuals who made the decorations are unknown because of reposting.

Because of this I will link to a bunch of the blogs, websites, and other sources that I have gotten my decorations from over time.

Bolded sources are where I got the majority of my decorations :)

Blinkies.cafe - Website

Lostsozai - Tumblr

Animatedglittergraphics-n-more - Tumblr

Melonet - Tumblr

Pixelsihave - Tumblr

Wanwanparty - Tumblr

Yumissymei - Tumblr

Transbro - Tumblr

Honeypuppixels - Tumblr

Leafbuglove - Tumblr

My Personal Deco Folder - Toyhouse

If you made/know who made any of the decorations I use please let me know and I will add credit to the list in a specific section!

All of my Sanrio emotes are from sticker packs on Line or are from other official Sanrio media

Also I did make some of my graphics and stamps, the character hearts. welcome banner on my Art Fight, and the some stamps like the Choc'o'clock and Giorno stamps were made by me

Note: removed Pixelbank by mp4 as it has become defunct

Laet updated 3/10/23

#infinity.button