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#roe knows best
roeknowsbest · 2 months
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“Spent the Summer Alone” added to ‘Pop Punk 2024’ Spotify playlist
“Spent the Summer Alone” has also recently been added to AlexMacielMusic’s Pop Punk 2024 playlist on Spotify! Check it out!
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echoesofadream · 6 months
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i dont trust any big scale production of animal products but i think free range organic eggs is the best i can do cause i dont know anyone with hens that can sell me eggs on a regular basis. That would be good though if i could get in contact with a small hen farm. Also are eggs bad for you im only doing this if its good for my body nothing else
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hamliet · 2 years
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Wrote this when the leak happened, never posted it, am currently in such a tearful rage that anything I wrote now would be riddled with expletives so here goes the calmer version. FYI, it's written specifically for "pro life" people, like the community I grew up in, attempting to meet them where they're at and persuade them to open their mindset. Also, because, as I said, I'm currently a ball of rage, you might not want to comment on this if you disagree because there's a pretty strong chance I'll go off and say something I will regret. Just warning ya. I'm in a mood to overturn some tables.
So as someone who is pro-choice because I'm pro-life... the news enrages and distresses me. I grew up very pro-life (oh the fundamentalist cult life) and changed my views over time. I'd like to propose that the whole "does life begin early in pregnancy or not" doesn't actually have any relevance to this debate.
No one should ever be able to force another person to donate an organ to keep someone else alive. Literally when people are DEAD, their families have the right to refuse organ donation. 
It's about bodily autonomy. 
I think if there was a person who was told they were a match for a child who needed a kidney or else the child would die, we might feel they *should* donate, but who is comfortable with saying they legally must be required to do so? What about extenuating circumstances? Would you want to not have a choice if it were you? What if that matched person was also a child, or had a high-risk family history, or was terrified and then happened to be one of the few people who die during a routine procedure? Because it does happen, albeit rarely (to consider the metaphor, birth is statistically riskier, medically speaking, than abortion--which isn't to say abortion has no risks because, like any medical procedure, it does. But the risks aren't equal). 
My point is that moral consideration is a separate concept that surely influences legislation (or like, should), but not a 1=1 to legal obligation. Legal obligation cannot account for exceptions and rare cases, because life is way more complex than any legislation could ever capture. That's why ethics and morality exist as fields of study. That is why philosophy exists. 
The ironic thing is I'm more like... I more err on the side of caution and lean towards thinking life begins earlier rather than later. Not conception, my existence as an identical twin kind of debunks that, but I think there's a reasonable case for implementation (at least, it can't be fully debunked--though the concept of vanishing twins does challenge it). But, I don't think you can force someone, and I don't think anyone, not even the most empathetic of doctors (and my experience with doctors tells me most aren't empathetic, lol), is qualified to make that decision for another person. 
I also think that, for me personally, I would never choose to have an early abortion with the exception of the same reason I would choose a late-term one: if a child was not going to survive. And I'd mourn them. Every loving mother should have the right to make a choice to turn off life support if there's no hope. I've seen miracles irl, I believe in them, and I would hope, but when it comes to a certain point... I also have seen agonizing situations where it's just better not to hook people up to tubes for years and years, waiting for a miracle, and provide palliative care instead. Again, I don't think this should be a legal requirement; loved ones each have the right to make these choices for those who cannot make choices. Why would you strip this away from someone?
Indeed, I'd say the ethical choice in many (again, exceptions exist) cases is to donate turn off life support and donate organs to save others; an analogy would be to lose the child, mourn them, and give the mother her organs back instead of saddling her with medical debt, health risks that don't go away after 9 months (see the long-term effects of preeclampsia, which including a striking correlation with heart disease--like, up to FOUR TIMES more at risk for heart failure later in life, and twice as likely to suffer heart attacks). Why prolong her grief at having strangers ask her when she is due, when she knows she will give birth to a dead child? Isn't that cruel? 
Furthermore, if this government wants to force people with uteruses to have kids, then for the love of God, stop charging tens of thousands of dollars to give birth and then get necessary follow-up medical care. Provide actual paid maternal leave, which isn't even controversial in most countries. Train your doctors to listen to our pain instead of dismissing us because we're just "so sensitive." Train people not to rape us or pressure us. 
Oh wait, Justices Kavanaugh and Thomas are on the court. Like, regardless of where you stand, can we all agree it's a little screwed up that two men with histories of sexual harassment and/or assault get to make a choice over other people’s bodies? Because??? They already have tried to make those choices with some pretty damn bad intentions?? Hard for me to believe this isn't about hurting, humiliating, and even killing people with vaginas when two of them have resorted to sexual violence to control a body owned by a woman who did not want to sleep with them before. Neither of them have ever displayed integrity or repentance, despite claiming to be Christians. You disgrace my Lord's name with that. You take His name in vain. You are filthy men who can never stand for justice and can, frankly, rot in hell. Also, I'll believe you, yes you in particular Justice Alito, give a damn about protecting any child when you walk back your arguments for allowing police to in essence sexually assault ten-year-olds via an invasive strip search. 
Now, idealism and reality, theory and practice. In life, our ideals (and religious beliefs) are lighthouses: they guide us through a rocky, stormy life. But they are not always able to be ideally implemented. You can't follow a straight path. That's just how life works. We continue to learn how to navigate closer and closer to these ideals, while also knowing that we're not going to reach it here. None of us are perfect, rocks exist, we look at waves and get distracted, others knock into us and jar us off course. We need to use what we have around us to stay afloat.
The reality also is that studies unequivocally demonstrate that policies such as access to birth control, proper education, access to healthcare, and access to maternal resources drastically reduce the rates of abortion. This is good. No one thinks abortion is a great thing to aspire to have (well, no one reasonable), but instead a choice that must be made as a result of the failure of other things along the way. If the pro-life movement actually cares about stopping mass murder of children, then prioritize that above all else. It's like Rahab lying to save the Israelites in Jericho: yeah, she lied, but she was called righteous for her intent. Also, I presume the whole "minor sin for the greater good" logic is what pro-life people are using the justify Justices Alito, Kavanaugh, Gorsuch, and Barrett lying under oath and committing perjury (an actual crime) by saying they considered Roe established law? Because those tapes exist; they did do that.
So, don't say compromising to save children has no place in your beliefs, because it does. And don't say they didn't lie because technicalities or semantics or whatever; the intent of those questions was clear, and there's a reason the oath includes the words "the whole truth and nothing but the truth." It was legally and morally a lie. 
The pro-lifers (as said movement is primarily funded by evangelical American Christians) need to put their money where their mouth is and act as if this is what they really want to do, even if it means not living in an ideal world (because, sadly, we don't). Yeah, they don't want people having sex before marriage, but the reality is that--in church and out of it (percentages are the same)--most people do. So, advocate for birth control access (don't take it if you don't like!), medically accurate sex education (giving facts isn't gonna teach anything God doesn't already know), and support maternal healthcare. That will save the lives of children, which is most important, right? I, a pro-choice person, say it is. You can keep up your pro-abstinence advocacy while doing this, you know, because sexual activity is also a choice (or should be, because teaching consent matters). 
Yet, the pro-life community distinctly does not do this. Why? Could it be that they don't actually believe a fetus is a life? Or could it be that they have other motivations? A mixture of the two? 
Until the pro-life movement starts prioritizing practical compassion over self-righteousness, until they accept that they are not God and attempting to control others is more along the lines of the serpent in the Garden than Christ and thus go on to mix practicality with idealism, I can't believe they actually care about saving lives as much as they do punishing females who have sex (specifically who have sex not with them).
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butchdykekondraki · 11 months
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OMG IM GOOD !!! I DOODLED A LOT TODAY AND I DRANK FANTA !!! QND ARE YOU PLAYING.. MAYBE.. THIS DAYSHIFT GAME.. MAYHAPS.. WITH LIKE RESTURANTS AND OURPLE AND ORNG GUYS.. AND THIS UNFIXABLE ONE.../SILLY
OOOO SOUNDS FUN !!!!! I HOPE UR FANTA WAS GOOD !!!!!!!! ^_^
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potionboy3 · 2 years
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Maxim Raeburn | HPMA | Slytherin Introducing Maxim...Tthe adoptive son of Farrow Raeburn and Charlie Weasley and biological son of Viveka Raeburn. He was named after Gabriel Grimm and he is a cousin of Roe Malinda. His two greatest interests in life are merpeople and his crush Nymeria Lee.  In the video: Maxim Raeburn Nymeria Lee @gcldensnitch Roe Malinda  @gaygryffindorgal
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hi
can we please take care to tag any and all posts relating to roe v. wade, protest guides and similar appropriately?
this is an emotionally intense time for most of us, and taking care of ourselves online, and specifically here on tumblr only works if people tag correctly.
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heich0e · 2 years
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may i ask what you mean?
https://heich0e.tumblr.com/post/687960779922751488/stardust-does-promise-not-to-sell-your-data-but-a
like, what kind of evidence?
sorry if this sounds rude. i’m just a little dumb today 😭
not rude at all! this is confusing and terrible and i understand. but there are states in the US that will pursue murder/other criminal charges against people who are suspected to have obtained (or helped someone get OR performed) an abortion. if you were being charged with that crime, there's the chance that your app data could be subpoenaed as evidence to prosecute you.
i have read the privacy policies of EVERY SINGLE MAJOR period tracking app i could find today and each one had a clause stating that your identifiable app data (which could include evidence of a disruption in your menstrual cycle/pregnancy/whatever other health information you're putting into it) could be turned over to public authorities for legal reasons.
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pepprs · 2 years
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i don’t know how to explain that since march 2020 with each new horrible thing happening in the world i shrink further and further into myself and away from connection and hope
#i told that friend i would call them today but then i woke up 6 minutes after roe v wade got overturned. and i can’t call that friend. i#can’t even tell them why. i can’t even talk to my family or even look at them. i can’t even stand on my feet for too long or get anything#done. i can’t reply to any texts or act on any urgent emails. i can’t draw or play piano or do anything to destract myself. all i can do is#scroll and read and be very very still and very very quiet. i don’t even have the energy to cry#in December and February and may i had spells lasting days at a time of being unable to function because such horrible things were happening#all at once and i just couldn’t process it anymore. and it’s gonna happen over and over again more and more frequently and there truly is#nothing i can do to stop it without getting the energy back but every time i think im almost there something happens and i crash back down#all over again. really and truly preparing to leave for brighton was the beginning of the end for me and i don’t know if i will ever get#back to how hopeful and connected and whatever i felt. and living in lockdown all over again doesn’t help but i don’t have the strength to c#change that either. im just tired and everyone is walking all around me right now as i type this and im bristling and want to scream#purrs#delete later#not that i was at all like entirely hopeful or whatever and certainly not that things were good pre covid. but something happened when covid#happened and ever since it’s been like. relentless misery. strings of sad days. no end in sight#i think the best and most helpful things i could do wrt this specific issue are a) open my home to people#seeking abortions who can’t get them in their state / provide travel / resources for them to come here (i can contribute to travel funds#financially but need to learn to drive and find a place to live before i can offer space and transportation resources) and b) keep talking a#about reproductive rights / trying to educate ppl who are skeptical etc etc as someone who would not exist without them. and also c) keep#trying to build collective power and learn to become a better community organizer and open people up to the possibilities that arise when we#recognize ourselves as co-creators of our future and understand that the future is not fixed (which i think aoc said or something and i watc#watched smth on that last night that i think she was part of and it was encouraging to me). so i will try to focus on those things. but this#just has my head spinning so badly. i feel so unmoored. and it’s my job to be a beacon of hope but i feel utterly hopeless
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swapsanssimp · 2 years
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people who "believe" that abortion is murder don't actually think that. a quick scenario as to why:
you get close with someone, and are hanging out alone together, no one else around. this person, after hours of talking, looks you dead in the eye, and tells you this, "two years ago, i killed a baby,"
you're immediately afraid, and as quickly as you could, you excuse yourself from the conversation. you get out, and drive away. somewhere safe. maybe call the cops, go over to a loved ones house, feel so anxious and panicky at the reveal. your friend had murdered a child, a helpless infant no less.
now, imagine if that person says to you, "two years ago, i got an abortion," same situation, different meaning.
you might feel bad, compassion, even disgust, but you won't fear for your life. you might support the friend, or have a fall out with them, but you never once are afraid for your safety.
that's the difference. you might say that "abortion is murder", and might legitimately believe it. but deep down, you know it isn't true. because abortion and murder aren't the same.
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trendfag · 1 month
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insane that people see the overturning of roe as a big trump win because he appointed three scotus justices but not as a biden loss even though he was the president of the united states and did nothing to help
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roeknowsbest · 1 year
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SAT, 6/24: RKB plays The Kill Shed (Toms River, NJ) w/ Neil Rubenstein, Kayleigh Goldsworthy, + Vinnie Caruana
TICKETS: Register on Eventbrite
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archiverstappen · 3 months
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it’s a match (part 5) ✧ lando norris
lando norris x fem! actress! reader
previous part | masterlist
reader is in desperate need for a boyfriend, so her best friend took a drastic measure to find her one
[lando’s whatsapp]
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[lando’s messages]
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[whatsapp]
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[messages]
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[profile]
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[instagram]
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[lando’s whatsapp]
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author’s notes: the longest one yet!! introducing the dad who always speaks in corporate and the our beloved roblox obsessed brother! i know that the whatsapp bits are kinda messy but i hope you guys still enjoyed it!!
taglist: @somanyfandomsbruh @allywthsr @marialovesf1 @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @justab-eautifulmess @chimchimjiminie16 @mrsmaybank13 @minkyungseokie @dhhdhsiavdhaj @babyvinnie @flippingmyshit @lordperceval-16 @cha-hot @leclercdream @raizelchrysanderoctavius @bladestark @slytherheign @laneyspaulding19 @sticksdoesart @magical-spit @verew @teti-menchon0604 @buendiabebeta @soleilgrec @tsukishitm-a @leclucklerc @thatoneembarrasingmoment @dark-night-sky-99 @cherry-piee @jun1p3rlol @smartstupyd @1655clean @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @ssararuffoni @formulaheaders @glow-ish @luxebeautystyle @youdontknowmeshh @softtina @judespoision @queen-of-elves @flwr-stella @charli123456789 @leclercdream @goldenharrysworld @erikasurfer @lewisvinga @thecubanator2 @urfavnoirette @chiliwhore @kapsylia @loloekie @honethatty12 @littlehoneyfreak @ironmaiden1313 @iamkaku @imsiriuslyreal
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mingigoo · 5 months
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chocolate || Choi San (m.)
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❆ pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x brother’s best friend! Choi San
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❆ summary ⇢ you never got along with your brother’s best friend San, but you really never needed to. His pretty face and cocky attitude pissed you right off. But when he shows up on New Year’s Eve when you’re home alone, and a snowstorm forces you to stay together for the time being, you can’t help yourself from his enchanting charms—and sexy ass body.
❆ genre/au ⇢ smut, forced proximity, brothers best friend au, snowed in au
❆ warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, fingering, shower sex, oral sex (male receiving), slightly rough but really not too much, creampie, unprotected sex, the power goes out and they want to fuck each ther so bad I’m sorry
❆ word count ⇢ 5.2k
❆ taglist ⇢  @atinywhore @ch0isa99ie @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
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The snow crunched under your feet as you walked up to your parents' home.
Christmas had just passed—although both your mom and dad were out of the area, having the time of their lives in the warmth of another country. You envied them, but you were happy to be back in town after a rough breakup and a messy semester.
When you walked in the door with a bag of groceries and now covering your eyelashes, your little brother Wooyoung sat on the couch in the living room, star-shaped shades on his face and a shiny jacket over his bare chest.
“What….why are you dressed like that?” you inquired, shoving your snowy shoes off your feet.
He stared at you blankly. “Are you stupid?”
You scoffed, walking past him to put the bag of groceries away—groceries that were solely for baking cookies. A perfect way to spend the night.
He stood up and followed you in. “Y/n, it’s New Year's Eve. How else should I be dressed?”
You forgot about it. All of it. It already pained you that you were alone this new Year after spending four of them with the same man.
You shoved the bag of flour into the cabinet aggressively. “I don't know, not like a disco ball? That jacket is gonna get puked on and ruined.”
He looked over at you, noticing your distaste. “Are you…..is Soobin, you know, coming in for the holiday? He already missed Christmas.”
Soobin decided to dump you for reasons unknown. You believed it was because he was chasing his dream of becoming an idol, and he couldn't have a bunch of sexy baggage like you, so you let him lose you. 
But if that wasn't the case and he broke up for you for the hell of it, you would strangle that stupid hot boy and let him pay for his crime of losing the best he’s ever had.
Anyway…
“Oh, we broke up,” you shoved the stuff around in the cabinet, hoping to distract your brother from the horrible news. You didn't tell him the whole time you've been home. You've been avoiding it—it was already embarrassing to be dumped, more so around Christmas.
It did not, in fact, distract him.
“Holy fuck, really?” he leaned forward, intrigued. “Why? What did he do?”
“Oh, you know,” you bit the corner of your lip, trying not to look like you were lying straight through your teeth. “He’s chasing his dream. I broke up with him so he didn't have to struggle with the girlfriend baggage and all. He was so heartbroken….”
Woo blinked. 
“Oh, girl,” he offered a sincere smile. Well, as sincere as wooyoung could possibly get. “He dumped your ass, didn't he?”
You stared at him for a second. You couldn't get past him—he’s seen breakups way too many times with San by his side.
“Yep.”
You stood there in silence for a minute or two, trying your best not to reminisce on your relationship—even though you were over him. It wasn't even about Soobin; rather, it was the aching feeling of being someone’s number two. A career, an understandable priority, still felt like a slap in the face to you, as you were less important in his eyes. You can joke with yourself and others all you want—but you crave that feeling of being someone’s pride and joy. Someone’s only thought when the world is about to end.
“Welp,” Woo sighed, not knowing what to say. “I have to head out soon. I’m meeting up with San and Yeosang to head to the party.”
You sighed, leaning against the counter behind you. “Have fun.”
He pondered for a second, sticking his tongue into the inside of his cheek. “Wanna come with us?” he asked.
You shook your head, already not feeling like doing anything—especially anything involving…..San. “No, no, you go have fun,” you smiled at him as best as you could.
He nodded, but gave you a look of worry before he left the kitchen.
You followed him like a lost puppy as he tossed his shoes on in the doorway, struggling to bring his chucks over his heel—his frat shoes, as he likes to express. The shoes he doesn't mind puking on. You watched in enjoyment as he wrestled his shoes.
“I’ll be back later,” he ruffled your hair tenderly, but the grimace on his face felt like he wanted to tackle you—in a playful way, of course.
“Be safe—”
He shut the door with a smirk before you finished your sentence.
“A sudden storm will be rising upon us within the next hour or so, with wind gusts up to……”
You could hardly hear the TV from the kitchen as you blasted Christmas music, flour on every square inch of you. You were baking—your favorite hobby. It’s been a while since you were able to bake carefree, and now that you had an unlimited amount of free time, you were going to bake as much as you missed out on. 
As you shoved in another pan of cookies into the oven, you heard the door open and shut loudly, so loud that you were able to hear it over your music.
“Wooyoung, what the hell?” you grumbled, your back turned from the doorway as you fixed up the already baked cookies to cool. “Can you slam that shit any louder? And aren't you supposed to be at a party?”
Silence. No response. 
“I said, aren't you supposed to be—”
And when you turned around, it was most definitely not wooyoung in the kitchen doorway.
You dropped a cookie onto the floor. 
“Well,” San smirked, his grey hood covering his dark hair, his lips curled sexily, and his eyebrows raised. “Aren't you a beauty?”
You stood there in a flour-covered apron, flour-covered hair, face, and everything in between, looking at the man across the kitchen table.
“San,” you breathed, brushing your hands off on your apron and bending down quickly to pick up the dropped cookie. “What are you doing here? Wooyoung told me he was meeting up with you.”
“To see you, of course,” He purred, taking a step closer to you. He walked around the table to get to where you were standing, and not surprisingly, he lifted a finger to the corner of your lips and then continued to taste it on his own. 
You shivered in what you wished was disgust.
His eyes lit up as he tasted it, licking his lips. “Mmm. Chocolate?” he hummed, leaning against the counter next to you. He pulled down his hood to reveal his messy, silky black hair. “You've always been such a great baker.”
“You scoffed, turning back to the stove to check on your cooling cookies. “Why are you here?”
“You just asked me that.”
“Yeah, but you didn't answer correctly.”
“I’m here to see you, baby,” he leaned forward. 
You leaned back.
“Ha!” you laughed sarcastically, picking up your spatula to wield it like a weapon in his direction. When you met his gaze, you felt your stomach drop from his pretty smile and his sickening gaze. “Wooyoung isn't here, alright? So you better leave, or I will kick you out—”
“I’ll just wait here for him until he gets back.” San shrugged, stealing a cookie before running away from the kitchen.
You followed him into the living room, tracking your flouriness all over the place. “Can't you just go home? I don't understand why—”
He was standing in front of the TV as your voice trailed off. Apparently, there was a huge storm that no one saw coming. San watched intently as he snacked happily on the cookie as if finding out that there was a blizzard outside was the best news he’d ever heard.
“A blizzard?” you freaked out, running up to the screen right next to him. After watching for a few moments, you went to the window, looking out to see the roads completely covered and the wind blowing a dusting of white all over the place.
“Oh….I didn't see that coming,” San’s irritatingly attractive voice spoke from right behind you, and when you turned around, he stood with a sinister smile on his face.
“You should go, for real,” you sighed, looking up into his eyes before moving your gaze anxiously. “Before you can't.” 
He peered over your shoulder, letting out a puff of air. “I don't think I can drive back on the roads like this….” he sighed, tilting his head at you. “It's too dangerous.”
You blinked, trying your hardest not to cave into those lustrous cat-like eyes. He blinked at you now, his expression unreadable.
It's been ages since you saw this man—ages, and he still treats you as if you were best buddies all your life. In reality, you've never once liked the guy. His hair pissed you off, his crooked smile boiled your blood, and god, his ears? Why were they so cute? How can ears be cute? Don't get yourself started on his lips…..lips that you….may have kissed once or twice all those years ago.
He never talked about it, so you just ignored it.
And now that you were thinking about his lips, your eyes dropped down to them, and when you realized, you cleared your throat and brought your gaze back up to his eyes.
“If you stay, you have to act like you're not here,” you breathed, crossing your arms over your messy apron. He looked down—down at your cleavage and smirked. “Eyes up here, mister.”
He hesitated to move his gaze, and when he did, your stomach flipped once more—god, maybe you just needed to get laid. It's been ages since you had a good fuck….
No. what were you thinking? No. no, no. Stop it.
You took a second to gain your thoughts before speaking again. “Just… don't do anything until wooyoung gets here.”
He stood close to you, looking down with those seductive eyes, his smile blindingly attractive. He didn't even need to speak to make your knees weak—which was probably why you hated him so much.
He bent his head to get closer to you, that smile still on his face. 
“Can I speak, master?” he nearly moaned, biting the corner of his lip. “I feel like it would be unfortunate to remain silent during our….reuniting time.”
You let out a little chuckle. “What? Reuniting time?” you uncrossed your arms. “That's funny. We were never close enough to unite in the first place.”
“Oh, y/n,” he purred, reaching out to twirl a finger around your hair. You wanted to run away. Your mind told you to, but everything else craved him—as it always has. “I would say we united many times, haven't we?”
He looked like he wanted to grab you as tight as he could and swallow you whole—but the conflict in his eyes said no. you watched his eyes dance around you, how his hand froze mid-air within your hair, and his lips flat in a line.
And it took everything in you to move away from him. 
You took a step back, watching his eyes drop to your feet.
“You can stay,” you coughed, looking anywhere but him. “But don't…don’t bother me. Don't talk about….uniting, or reuniting, or whatever…..” you huffed, giving him one last look before running into the kitchen, only to find the cookies in the oven burnt to a crisp.
And once again, the cycle began. San’s enchantment was whirling around you, capturing everything in its wake. Your heart never belonged to you—no, it always belonged to him.
And he will make sure you will never forget it.
San sat at the table, watching you intently as you made another batch of cookie dough.
“How’s school?” he asked you, his voice soft.
You shrugged, stirring the dough with your bare hand, as there was no mixer. “It's fine, same same.”
He nodded, his chin held up by his palm. You continued to mix the dough.
“How’s what's his name? Soo—Soomin? Soojin? Soo–”
“Soobin?” you asked, trying not to smile at his obvious distaste.
He nodded, a frown on his lips.
You didn't get to respond as your phone interrupted the conversation.
“Ugh,” you huffed, holding your dough-covered hands in the air, unable to get your phone in your pocket. “Can you…can you get my phone for me?”
San stood up. “Where is it?” 
You pointed to your back pocket. “There, in my pocket.”
When he got next to you, he hesitated on reaching to get it, but when you gave him the death stare, his gentle hand glided down your back, down your ass, and to your pocket. You froze at his touch and nearly missed the phone call from your mess of emotions. 
He answered the call for you and held it up to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Oh, thank god,” wooyoung breathed. “Don't go anywhere, alright?”
You scoffed, looking down at your dough-covered hands and your filthy clothes. “Ah, I wouldn't worry about me going anywhere. I’m definitely not fit for an outing.”
Wooyoung didn't laugh like his normal self. “For real, don't go anywhere. I won't be home for a good while because of the storm, so make sure you stay safe and warm.”
“Awe, I didn't know you cared so much about me,” you cooed, but when you saw San’s little smile at your words, you immediately swallowed hard, lost in thoughts you shouldn't be having while you're on the phone.
“Anyway, just be safe,” Woo sighed, taking a breath in. “I’ll be living off this shitty-ass beer and stale cookies. These sons of bitches are so cheap I swear—”
Without warning, the lights flickered slightly.
And then they went completely off, leaving you and San with no lights, no power, no anything.
“What the fuck—”
“For fucks sake,” San hissed, catching him off guard. Wooyoung, however, perked up the minute he heard a man.
“Who’s there with you? I heard a voice?”
“Oh, it’s just San,” you mumbled, looking up at him, where his eyes even sparkled in the dark. You forgot your train of thought for a moment. “He came here looking for you.”
“Yeah, right. That dude’s been obsessed with seeing you ever since he knew you were coming home. What a little pussy. He had to make up a lie to come over? Pfft—”
“Ah, oh no, looks like we lost service too—you’re breaking up—” San coughed, and after a moment of time for wooyoung to react, he hit the end button, tossing your phone onto the counter with haste.
You gave him a funny look as he tried to ignore your gaze. The room was extremely dark—not a single light source other than the little bluish glow from your home screen on your phone. 
You had no idea what to say to him; he didn't know what to say, either. You just stood in the dark kitchen, the oven at a standstill, and so were your feelings. He was looking down at his feet, trying his hardest not to look at you—although it was too dark to see you, anyway.
“Guess I’m done baking,” you hummed, giving him a slight look of curiosity before you took the cookies out of the cold oven. 
“Yeah, that won't work now,” he muttered quietly, very much unlike his usual dickhead way of speaking. He swallowed hard, too close to you. 
You stood strong right in front of him, your body telling you to grab him by the neck and kiss those gorgeous lips of his. Maybe you were just that desperate to feel something after your breakup—or maybe you always wanted San—either way, you were so close to giving in to your desire, but you pushed yourself away and took off your apron slowly.
“You never….you never answered my question earlier.”
You set the apron down on the counter next to your phone. It shut off now, leaving you in complete darkness, with San only a shadow in front of you.
You frowned, but you couldn't see the look on his face in front of you. “What question?”
“About how Soobin is?”
You scoffed, trying your best to look up into San’s eyes. You saw them sparkle slightly, and you stared into them. “So you do know his name.”
“I really don't care what his name is, y/n,” he grumbled, taking a step closer to you.
You smiled, knowing by the tone of his voice that he was aggravated. “Well, if you must know, I really don't know how he is.”
San grew quiet, but you heard him take a breath in. “what do you mean?”
“We broke up, so I wouldn't know how he is, alright?” you hissed at him, but only to get a reaction out of him—god, you didn't know what you’d do if what wooyoung said was true—that if San came here to see you, that he was waiting to see you for ages, that he’s irritated over the fact you’ve had a boyfriend—all of it would send you into a spiral. You always told yourself you'd need to be completely wasted to even think of San in a new light….but here in the dark, with his hot breath caressing your cheeks, you were ready to say fuck it to your facade. 
He didn't say anything for a while. He just stood there, his one hand leaning against the table to hold himself up. 
“You…broke up with him?” he hummed quietly.
“Mhm,” you nodded, tilting your head up to try and meet his gaze.
He swallowed, nodding. “Mmm. I see,” he smiled—at least it looked like he did. “Nice.”
“Nice?” you furrowed your brows.
“Well, I mean, I never liked the guy, so—”
“Why?”
“I don't know—”
“Yes, you do know,” you took a step even closer, causing him to catch his breath. “What’s the reason?”
He sighed, his breath dancing across your skin. “Well, like, two years ago or so, when we were out at the bar,” San took a second to form what he wanted to say, and you stood and looked up at him without a blink. “He got you a drink with Malibu in it.”
You blinked, confused. “So? I don't even remember that San, I don't know why you're bringing that up—”
“Because you hate coconut, y/n,” he interrupted you, his tone of voice exasperated. “And you hate going to bars—they stress you out. You didn't even finish the drink before he got you another and didn't even care to know what you liked…so I didn't like him.”
You stood there, mouth slightly dropped after his words. 
That was enough of a confession for you. 
“So….you didn't like him because he got me a coconut drink or….” you reached out, your fingers delicately draping over his that were resting on the table. He jumped slightly at your touch as if he was never expecting it. “Or because you could do better than him?”
San remained still as you let your fingers glide up his arm, feeling the softness of his hoodie that you wished to take off.
“....I think you know why I didn't like him….” He breathed.
You leaned forward in the dark, your gaze piercing right into his. Your hand met the base of his neck, sending shivers down his spine from the coldness of them. He let out a sound of pleasure at your touch, your other hand meeting his waist.
You didn't say anything else. You just wanted to fall into him, even with the consequences; it didn't matter what would happen tomorrow. He was breathing shallowly, his lips parted, begging you to kiss them as if he was waiting forever. 
And as if they knew the timing, the lights flickered back on, revealing a lovestruck San—his eyes hazy with desire and his expression out of a book.
His fingertips found their home on the side of your cheek, holding your face gently, carefully, as if you were glass.
You were less than an inch away from his lips, but before you pressed them to his, you stepped back, knowing that you were a filthy mess—you didn't want him to spend this time with you while you were embarrassingly messy.
“I….” you paused, pulling away from his hold. “I…need to shower,” you mumbled, giving him a look.
He blinked slowly. “A…shower?” 
“Yeah.”
With one last look at him, you saw the hesitation in his eyes. You walked past him, brushing up against him before you walked up the steps.
And before you got to the bathroom at the end of the hall, you heard his clunky footsteps make their way up the creaky stairs.
“Wait, hold on,” he huffed, grabbing your wrist to turn you around. “What was that?”
You looked at him innocently. “What was what?”
He furrowed his brows. “You know, that.”
You shrugged, fighting the smile that begged to arise. “What?”
He groaned, dropping your hand in a fit. “You were going to kiss me.”
You tilted your head, playing with him. “Was I?”
“Were you not?”
“I don't know.”
“Yes, you do know! You were literally about to kiss me—”
“And what if I was?” you whispered, your eyes slanted with mischief. He looked at you, his own expression changing from confusion to….well, more confusion. 
He bit his bottom lip. 
“Am I supposed to follow you into the shower?”
You smiled, letting him decide what you wanted him to do.
With a curt turn, you opened the bathroom door, leaving it open a crack, inviting him in.
You took off your messy top, covered in flour. You waited patiently, taking off your bra and your pants, and all that was left was your panties before he entered abruptly. 
“Listen, you can't leave that door open and not expect me to—oh,” he paused, his breath shaky. 
You stood unmovingly, facing him.
And with a slight scoff, he ran towards you. 
“Fuck it,” he huffed, slamming his body into yours, swallowing you with his whole being.
His lips caressed yours, biting your tongue, shoving his own into your mouth. You took in a sharp breath as he sucked on your soul, his hand finding your breast to squeeze it tightly.
“God, I’ve been waiting to do that forever,” he groaned against your mouth, his other hand playing with the hem of your underwear. With one quick motion, he pulled them down, falling onto your ankles as you stepped out of them.
You smiled into his kiss, tearing away at his hoodie before he pulled it over his head, leaving him shirtless and full of glory. You parted away from his lips, kissing down his chest, over his mounds of muscle, until your knees hit the floor.
He froze under your touch, your fingertips gliding over his hard-on. You grinned devilishly up at him, his expression in a mess of excitement and nervousness. Him? Nervous? Impossible.
You pulled down his pants as swiftly as you could, causing him to hiss sharply. He was fully on display for you now, his cock pulsing and ready for you. You grazed your fingers from his base to his tip; then you took it in your mouth without a warning.
He grunted, immediately gripping the hair on top of your head, tossing his own back with aggression. His little moans were music to your ears; not once did you ever believe you'd hear them—he looked so fuckable. So desirable. He always did, which explains why he was your first-ever kiss, why you always thought back to him when you were with Soobin, why you couldn't avoid his charms even though you so desperately tried.
He moaned your name—said it with such haste as if he couldn't hold back. As if he’s wanted this for ages. He leaned into your mouth, moving his hips slightly to push himself in deeper. You let out a gag, causing him to moan once more, making you smile against his cock.
You moved back and forth on him, no hands in sight. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes as you pressed your lips at the base of his dick, watching his eyes close tight and his chest heave.
“God fuck,” he huffed, his fingers tying knots in your hair, causing tears to build up behind your eyes. You liked it—loved it—his touch was ecstasy.
Without a minute to waste, San pulled you upward and off of him, just for him to press his lips to yours, reaching backward to turn the knob on the hot water.
You giggled against his lips as he almost fell. He smiled back, teeth clashing into yours as he pressed his bare skin to yours. You both stepped into the shower, not even caring that the water wasn't warm enough yet. 
His tongue slid down your throat, caressing the roof of your mouth, exploring the uncharted territory. Water spilled over your heads, dripping down your faces, drenching your hair. His hand gripped the back of your head as he slammed you into the wall of the shower, causing you to gasp.
He pulled away for a second, his eyes heavy, his lips parted as water dripped down his beautiful face. He pressed his forehead against yours—feeling as though this scene was all he’d ever wanted; it was premeditated—not a quick decision.
He blinked away the water, smiling before enveloping you in another kiss—this time, it was less lustful and more desperate. He breathed into your soul, his hands cradling your face with all the tender care he could muster. His breaths were shaky, and his hold on you was tight, as if there was somehow, someway, you would break away from his embrace.
You bit into his lip, your hands never finding a home as they explored all the planes of his body. He grunted as you reached for his dick, his eyes glimmering at your expression. No words were needed—he gave you one last look before flipping you around, shoving your face into the fall, and sticking his dick into your entrance. His lips were nibbling at your ear, his hot breath delicately stroking your body and soul.
He didn't push past your entrance just yet—no, but his fingers did. They glided over your clit from the back, your breasts aching from being pressed against the tile. He let out a little hum of a moan into your ear as his fingers entered you, two of them. You whimpered in delight, the movements turning you on more and more. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter, his fingers curling up inside you, his shallow breaths echoing in your mind. 
You couldn't take it anymore—you needed him inside you, now.
“I need you in me,” you moaned against the tile, tilting your head slightly to see his expression. “Now, please. God, please.”
He smirked, moving you now to the far wall, your back still to him. You nearly slammed your head into the wall as he moved you.
“As you wish,” he breathed, his voice dripping with lust, with love, with unknown feelings. With a quick movement, he shoved his dick inside you, causing you to arch your back from the fill. You cried out, holding onto the wall as he gripped your hips, moving rhythmically and melodicly. You furrowed your brows in pleasure, muttering his name. “Oh, San,” you moaned, causing him to move even faster.
The water crashed onto you, making you feel even higher than ever were before. The heat of it was scolding now, but nothing beat how hot San made you feel—he was indeed a genius in the manner of lovemaking, a god, at that. You knew why, everyone knew why, but you didn't care at the moment. The only thing you cared about was his body on yours, in yours, all around you.
You were reaching your high, your vision hazy. You let out a cry, a huff, something to show that you were enjoying him, and he made a sound, too.
As you reached your climax, you arched your back even more, shoving your face against the wall, your forehead thumping against it with every thrust of his. You came on his dick then, your body fighting the urge to shake from the feeling he supplied you. 
He felt it—you knew it, as he quickened his pace, his breaths becoming more uneven as the time went on, your body tightening around him. He hissed sharply, thrusting with grace until he emptied himself into you, coating you, becoming one within you.
He collapsed into you, against the wall, his dick slipping out from you. He huffed, catching his breath as the bathroom filled with steam and sweat. You turned around in his embrace, his head falling onto your shoulder with a thud.
And then he started to laugh.
A laugh so beautiful, so….raw. You began to laugh with him, smiling as you grabbed his cheeks to lift up his head—so he could see you. 
His eyes were red, but they sparkled with so much emotion that you wondered how he was feeling. 
“So,” you smiled, watching the water from the showerhead drip over his black hair. “Happy New Year, I guess?”
He smiled—a smile that made you want to stop everything.
And then his eyes widened. “What time is it?”
You frowned. “I don't know, my phone is downstairs,” you whispered, locking eyes with him.
He paused for a moment, not knowing what to do, or at least that’s what you believed until he leaned forward and brushed his lips to yours ever so gently.
A kiss for a lover. A kiss more meaningful than sex could offer.
He pulled away, but only slightly, as his forehead rested against yours. “Happy New Year,” he kissed you again. “Just in case it is midnight. You haven't been my New Year’s kiss since years ago, you know.”
You didn't know what to say—you weren't sure where he was going with this, as you had never brought up your kiss with him before. He spoke cautiously, yet without caution at all.
“I….well,” you swallowed hard, looking up at him shyly. “You can be my….new years kiss every year, if you’d like.”
He smiled—grinned like a wild animal at your words.
“Well, if you don't mind, I’d like to kiss you more than once a year.” he grabbed you by the waist swiftly, smirking,
You giggled like you were experiencing this for the first time. In all honesty, you may be. No one has ever made you feel this way. You never wanted anything more.
With a flirty smile, you leaned forward into his embrace, the shower hissing in the background of your confessions. 
“I would love that.” you nodded, looking up into his eyes. 
He looked like a dream, his hair wet, his eyes bright. You couldn't wait to share more New Year's kisses with him, more showers, more cookies. You wanted everything and more—even if you didn't exactly know it quite just yet.
He was your everything—Your heart never belonged to you—no, it always belonged to him. And you will never forget it.
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butchdykekondraki · 1 year
Note
Oh god. Grian and Magnus read fics of them and Scar for fun.
It's a game of critiquing how "it" plays out.
Jimmy and I don't particularly seek it out, but if the tags seem interesting, then yeah, sure.
Quackity finds it hilarious when he finds it.
– Tango 🧨
GEHANGEHJS I NEVER THOUGHT OF DOING THAT
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andvys · 3 days
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter eighteen ⭐︎ Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
Warnings: 18+ minors don't interact! smut smut smut, fluff, mentions of bullying, mentions of the upside down, unprotected sex, mentions of unrequited feelings
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Steve takes another step towards you, one that might change everything, hopefully for the better.
Word count: 9.7k+
Author's note: always a pleasure working with @hellfire--cult hehe. we're getting closer to the best scenes roe ♡
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter
A shrill noise, distant ringing sounds through the house. You’re in and out of sleep as you try to register where the sound is coming from, you open your eyes to the bright lights coming from the TV in your living room, a groan falls from your lips and you squint your eyes when you feel the pain in your neck from the uncomfortable position you had fallen asleep in. You rub your tired eyes and turn your head to look at your best friend who is sleeping deeply on the other side of the couch, snoring loudly and completely unfazed by the flashing lights from the horror movie playing on your TV screen or the loud ringing of the telephone. 
The obnoxious sound coming from the kitchen continues, forcing you to get up. You nearly trip over Eddie’s sneakers as you rush out of the living room and into the hallway, your mind is still sleeping, your eyes still tired, the ringing hurts your ears and you grab the receiver as soon as it’s in reach. 
“Hello?” You grumble, leaning your head against the wall and closing your eyes again as you stand in the dark kitchen. 
“Hey Blondie.” 
The sweet sound of his voice fills your heart with life and your stomach with butterflies, your eyes shoot open and you instantly straighten your back. 
“Steve?” Your voice only above a whisper as you hold the receiver a little tighter than before. 
“Did I wake you, honey?” He murmurs, sending shivers down your spine with the raspiness in his voice. “I’m sorry if I did, I-I just wanted to hear your voice… I uh, I just dropped Robin off, we talked for a while.” 
Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes widen. 
He wanted to hear your voice. 
He called just to hear your voice. 
He makes your heart swell in your chest just with a few simple words, words that hold so much meaning to you. 
But then you remember what happened only a few hours back.
And just like that the swelling and the warmth in your heart fleets away and anxiousness fills it instead. 
What did they talk about? 
Robin didn’t seem quite fond of you when you left his car earlier, the tone in her voice and the glare that she directed at you were proof of that. 
What if she talked some sense into him and told him to stop seeing you, that you are both going nowhere with this?
“Oh…” You mutter, not knowing what else to say. 
You play with the cord, wrapping it around your finger as you start bouncing your knee, waiting for his next words. 
“Are you okay?” You add in concern. 
“Yeah, I’m okay. She uh, she won’t say anything so… we can still… if you want?” He asks and clears his throat to hide the shakiness in his voice but you caught it. “Because I wanna keep doing it.” 
If you want? 
You’d keep going with this for the rest of your life if he wanted it, no matter how badly it hurts to be nothing but a little secret, not having him at all, would hurt so much more.
Relief follows quickly, despite the anxiety that still lingers but something tells you that Robin won’t be as accepting of it as Eddie is.
“I want to keep seeing you too, Steve.”
You hear his breathing, the way it stutters, the way it always does before a smile appears on his face. It makes your own lips curl into a smile as your shoulders relax and you slump against the wall.
“Good,” he whispers and you hope that you aren’t mishearing the happiness in his voice. 
“Good,” you repeat after him, unable to fight the smile off your face. 
You want to ask how the conversation went, what she asked, what she wanted to know but you don’t want to ruin this moment between you. 
You can leave it for another time, you can wait, just like you always do. 
“Is Eddie still there?” 
“Yeah, he passed out on the couch and I’m afraid he’ll wake up with a stiff neck tomorrow.” 
Steve’s chuckle makes your stomach flutter again.  
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” 
You nod with a smile on your face, “yeah.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come home with you,” he murmurs after a moment of silence. 
“It’s okay,” you whisper, trying not to sigh, trying not to show how sad you are that he isn’t here with you. The nights you spent alone in your bed are long over. “You needed to talk to Robin…”
He is silent, for a long moment he says nothing and only breathes as he stands in his kitchen, the only source of light coming from the small lamp on the counter, he stares into nothing as he contemplates asking if he can come over because he doesn’t want to spend the night without you, he doesn’t want to go to sleep without the warmth of your body atop of his, your soft breathing on his skin and your hands holding onto him as you unknowingly cling to him in your sleep, he doesn’t want to miss it, not even for a single night. 
“Steve?” 
Your voice sounds like a blessing to his ears now, the emotions that rush through him are no longer confusing him. 
“Yes?” 
He waits for you to speak but you are hesitating, only your soft breathing sounds through the phone. He hopes that you’ll ask him to come, he hopes that he can wrap his arms around you tonight, after all. 
“... Eddie ate your pringles.”
He raises his brows and tilts his head to the side, this is not what he wanted to hear but he can’t help but laugh. 
“And your butterscotch ice cream too.” 
He leans his head against the wall behind him, a smile of amusement appearing on his face. 
“I had to hide your kitkat’s so he wouldn’t eat them too.” 
He closes his eyes and listens to your voice, waiting for you to continue. You could talk about anything to him, literally anything – gossip, music, make-up, clothes and shoes, the weather or some random movie he has never seen, he’ll happily listen to you.
“But he found them…” You say with a giggle, “I don’t know where all that food is going! Did you see how many burgers he ate at Hopper’s?” 
No, no he really didn’t pay attention to your best friend, he was too busy watching you. 
“He might have a hole in his stomach.”
You chuckle, “he might, yeah, or he just gets the worst munchies after he gets high.” 
“Yeah, speaking of, we haven’t done that in a while.”
The last time you got high together, you didn’t get the munchies, no, you got something entirely else, something much more satisfying. It started with slow kissing, soft touches and desperate moans, you made out and undressed each other, you marked his skin and he did the same to yours and left them in places only he could see, he sank to his knees and unraveled you with his tongue, he tore out the sweetest sighs and the prettiest moans from you and now that he thinks back to that moment, he can’t help but wonder what exactly he was high on, drugs or you? 
“What, getting high? We should do that but we’ll have to buy new snacks first, Eddie ate all your favorite ones and I definitely need to stock up on chips and candy but whenever I get high I just want to eat pizza and pasta and uh… I should probably stop talking about food or else I’ll get hungry again,” you murmur the last part and place a hand on your stomach when you feel it grumbling. 
He smiles fondly and an idea pops in his head. 
"Pasta, huh?" He mumbles as he takes a look around his kitchen, “you’re staying with me tomorrow night, right?” 
“...If you still want me to, yes.” 
After his realization, he wouldn’t even mind you staying with him permanently and these thoughts swirl inside his head in full honesty. 
“I do want you to,” he nods even though you aren’t there to see, “well, I promised that I’d cook for you, remember?” 
Your cheeks heat up at his words and the permanent smile on your face grows bigger. 
“Mhm.”
“Let me cook for you tomorrow night, Blondie.” 
You bite your lip, unsuccessfully holding back the grin as giddiness rushes through your bones, making you unable to stand still. 
“I won’t say no to that, Steve.” 
Steve’s cheeks almost hurt from the grin on his lips as he heard the excitement in your voice, his own growing bigger and bigger as he already begins to count down the minutes until you’re back in his arms and here with him, hearing your voice isn’t enough, he needs to see you, to feel you, he needs you by his side. 
But for now, this will have to do. 
You both talk, not minding the late hour in the slightest as you both stand in your kitchen’s and giggle into your phones, feeling like teenagers all over again, each of you wearing lovesick smiles on your faces and happiness in your eyes, fluttering feelings in your hearts and in your stomachs – reactions and feelings now mutual and no longer one sided. 
Your teenage self would stare in awe if she saw you now, the happiest smile would play on her lips, she might even be jumping around. 
King Steve would be… surprised but maybe not unpleasantly so, there was more to him than he ever wanted to admit. 
Steve knows it now. 
When he hears your giggle, that sweet sound that lights up everything inside of him now, he knows. 
He never wants to miss your laughter again, he never wants to miss your voice, he never wants to miss you. He doesn’t even want to hang up the phone, not even when you make the promise that you will call him again with the phone upstairs in your room, when your makeup is off and you’re comfortable under your warm covers. 
And you, you rush out of the kitchen the moment you hang up the phone, with a fluttering heart and huge smile on your face, you make your way back into the living room, despite knowing you’ll be unsuccessful in waking your best friend and trying to get him into the guest room. 
A part of you feels relieved to see him asleep though – you don’t need him to see your blushing face. 
He is snoring into one of the pillows, his bangs covering his eyes, he is taking over the entire couch now, his knee angled weirdly as his arm hangs down, fingers grazing the carpet. You chuckle to yourself and step towards him, you lean down and wrap a gentle hand around his wrist, bringing his arm back up so he won’t deal with any soreness in the morning. You reach for a blanket and place it over his body before you turn off the TV. 
And as you quickly make your way upstairs, rushing into your bathroom to brush your teeth and take your makeup off, Steve is already in bed, staring at the phone on his nightstand, waiting for your call. 
With his arms tucked behind his head, the covers over his body, he feels warmth surrounding him as your smell lingers in his room, on the covers and the sheets, the pillow that is now yours – your side of the bed empty to his dismay, it almost feels weird to lay here without you when only months back, this was all he knew, an empty bed that he had never shared with anyone until you stepped into his life and came to steal his heart. 
And he never wants to share it with anyone else again, only you. 
The ringing of the phone doesn’t even last for two seconds before he picks it up and speaks your name into the receiver, earning a breathy chuckle from you.
“Missed me?” 
He hears the rustling of your sheets and how you try to get comfortable in your bed – oh, how he wishes he was there with you. 
“Mhmm thought you went to sleep without me,” he murmurs into the phone as he pulls at the cord of the telephone and turns on his side, sinking his face into your pillow and breathing in your scent. 
“Without talking your ear off first? Never.” You joke. 
Steve chuckles, shaking his head, “you can talk my ear off anytime, honey. Tell me about your day.” 
“We spent half of the day together.” 
“Exactly, half.” He says as a yawn escapes him and his eyes grow tired, lashes beginning to flutter. “And half of that day was spent listening to the teens bickering.” 
“Okay, yeah you’re right,” you say with a smile on your face and sink deeper into the side that you don’t usually sleep on, you breathe in the cologne that lingers on your pillow and close your eyes as you start talking about anything that comes to mind, the movie you watched with Eddie, the shopping trip you went on with El and Max a few days back, the pretty necklace you saw in the small jewelry shop downtown, the flowers that started growing in your garden, your niece and how much you miss her. 
A smile tugs at his lips and he feels calmness in his chest, your voice makes him feel safe, so safe that it lulls him into sleep only minutes later as he lies in bed surrounded by the smell of you and the sweetest sound in his ear. 
And you don’t notice at first, continuing to ramble about something completely unimportant before you register the utter silence on the other line. 
“Stevie?” 
A light snore echoes, making you giggle when you realize that he had fallen asleep. 
You hold the receiver tighter in your hand and hold the covers against your chest, closing your eyes and staying on the line, listening to his breathing. You wish you could be with him, lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat instead. 
“Good night,” you whisper softly, though wishing you could say something else, something more. 
-
Music plays in the background, some Tears for Fears song. The mouthwatering smell of food lingers in the air, making your stomach grumble in anticipation, you sip on your cold white wine as you watch him with a smile on your face and blushing cheeks. 
He looks good, he always does but there is something more about him tonight, perhaps it’s the way he looks so sexy in his tight fitted black tank top and his Levi’s, arms sunkissed and his freckles and moles on full display for you, his hair messy yet styled perfectly or maybe it’s that slight rosy color in his cheeks along with the glowing in his eyes, the look of happiness deeply etched into his soft features or maybe it’s the fact that he is cooking for you. 
All day you had been so nervous, you paced around the house and busied yourself with cleaning and organizing drawers and your closet, feeling as though you were waiting on a date when you don’t even know what it feels like to go on one. This isn’t a date, no matter how much it felt like it when you started preparing for the night, when you took your sweet time washing your hair and scrubbing your skin soft, shaving and moisturizing every part of your body, putting makeup on your face and curlers into your hair, you painted your nails his favorite color and put on a dress that you wished would make him swoon. 
And it did, it does make him swoon, everything about you now does. 
You nearly knocked him off his feet when you appeared on his doorstep in this pretty new outfit that shows off your beautiful body and your soft skin that he craves to feel on his constantly. For the first time, Steve didn’t want to rip it off of you and take you, he found himself wishing to take it off slowly, kiss every inch of you softly and feel you in a whole new way, and he told himself he would, that he would take his time with you tonight, though it felt hard to keep his hands to himself when you walked through the door, he wanted nothing more than to pull you against him and kiss you breathless but not yet, he told himself, not yet. 
“It smells so good already,” you smile, watching how he stirs the sauce as you breathe in the smell of garlic and cheese. 
“Just wait until you taste it,” he winks at you. 
“So cocky,” you tease him with a chuckle, taking a sip of your wine before you step closer to him. 
“Well, you always love my breakfasts, honey,” he murmurs, putting the spatula down and checking on the pasta before he turns his body to you, looking you up and down with a lick of his lips. He steps closer to you and reaches his hand out to touch your waist, tearing a shaky breath out of you. 
You gulp. The smell of his cologne, the touch of his hand nearly cause your knees to buckle – it’s almost funny how your body still reacts like this, after everything you have done together, you still blush, you still swoon, your heart still flutters. 
Steve bites his lip as his eyes look at your own, his hand reaches for the glass in your hand and he takes it from you, putting it down on the counter before he grabs your waist with both hands, taking you by surprise when he picks you up with ease, his lips curl into a smirk when a small gasp escapes you and you clasp your hands around his biceps, holding on tightly, even when he places you on the counter, you still hold onto him. He pushes your legs apart a little, letting his hands move from your waist to your thighs as he steps between them. 
You suck in a sharp breath, your cheeks are burning under his gaze, your skin heating up beneath his palms as his fingers disappear underneath your dress. 
His lashes kiss his skin as he keeps blinking, his hazel eyes gazing into yours so differently than usual and it drives your heart crazy. 
But despite how bad you want to let yourself fall into delusions that there might be something other than lust in his eyes at this very moment, you have to remind yourself of what this is and what this isn’t supposed to be. 
“Mhm, your breakfasts are very good,” you nod, “but who would’ve thought that Steve Harrington would ever cook dinner for me, a fancy one too.”
Steve chuckles, leaning much much closer and deciding to make your insides tingle even worse than before when he brings his hand up towards your face and tucking the fallen strand of hair behind your ear. 
“Who would’ve thought that you would ever sit on my kitchen counter?” He teases, tilting his head to the side as his hand slips down your body and grabs at your hip. “I think your teenage self would gasp and glare at the you now.” 
A giggle falls from your lips, you shake your head – he couldn’t be more wrong. 
“Yeah, and King Steve would pour the wine over your head if he saw you cooking dinner for his number one enemy.” 
Steve chuckles. 
“Enemy,” he repeats after you as his eyes crinkle in amusement, “that’s cute.”
Does he know what his words do to you? 
Does he know what his touch causes? 
Does he know that your heart feels as though it will beat out of your chest after every small act of his? 
Because something inside of you, tells you that he is starting to know. His touch is softer, his eyes are too. 
“Cute?” You smirk and speak out confidently even though your palms grow sweaty and you suddenly feel shy beneath his gaze. “You think us being mean to each other was cute?” 
Steve shakes his head at you and to your disappointment, he steps away and returns back to the stove that he turns off after checking on the pasta. He reaches for a towel and wraps it around the handles of the pot, taking it off the stove, he steps further away from you and towards the sink. 
“No, you thinking that we were enemies is cute.” 
You press your palms against the counter and tilt your head to the side, your hair that he just tucked behind your ear, falling back in front of your face. You squint your eyes at him as a curious smile appears on your lips. “Were we not?” You ask, wondering what he saw you as during one of your worst times in your life. 
“I don’t think you’d be sitting here in this cute little dress if you were,” he smirks, winking at you before he turns away from you to drain the water from the pot, tilting his head back to avoid the steam. 
And you are grateful that he isn’t looking at you right now, the heat in your cheeks worsens and you suddenly don’t know what to do with your hands. 
You’re no stranger to Steve’s flirting, but it’s usually a little less intimate and under circumstances different from these, usually his flirty comments are there just to get in your pants – at least that’s what you think. 
“So… what was I then?” You ask, trying to keep yourself together, trying not to show how nervous his behavior is making you today. 
Steve places the pot back on the stove and he throws the towel over his shoulder and glances at you, a striking feeling cursing through him and catching him off guard. The evening sun is still high in the sky, shining through the windows and casting a golden glow over the kitchen and over you, kissing your beautiful skin and your shiny hair, the pretty color in your eyes glowing just like the rosy blush you put on your cheeks, the color matching your lipstick and the little dainty flowers on your dress, your lashes flutter every time you blink, your lips parting as you watch him with a cute look of curiosity in your features, your chest rises up and down softly, he can see the way your breathing stutters the longer you look at him though, it makes his lip twitch into a soft smile. 
He feels the beat of his heart, the fluttering and the sensation that has him in a chokehold, you steal his breath away, all the goddamn time, even when you’re not near, just the thought of you, the reminder of your touch and the image of you beneath his body is enough to nearly sink him to his knees. 
He stares at you, finding himself unable to look away and snap back. 
You look angelic under this golden light and he can’t stop from drinking you in, his eyes taking in every spot on your face, every feature, every edge, every curve – features he once thought were so sharp and shadowed by meanness are actually nothing close to that. 
You are soft, you are so gentle and vulnerable, nothing close to the girl he once thought you were. 
You showed him a side of you only the closest ones get to see. He should’ve known it was there, even before knowing you. 
He should’ve known when you jumped in to help fight against Vecna, when you were so protective over Max and Lucas, when you jumped in after him and saved him from the bats despite being a stranger of the horrors that waited for you on the other side, when you put a comforting hand on Eddie’s when he seemed anxious days and weeks after you were both released from the hospital, when he saw the sadness in your eyes after your fight during that one game night, when he saw how you treated your niece and the fourth of july – the night that changed everything. 
You were always right there, right before his eyes, always in reach yet never close enough to actually see. 
But now he sees you, the real you that you still try to bury underneath that rough exterior that is slowly crumbling, more and more, little by little. 
“Steve?” Your unsure voice calls out to him, pulling him out of his thoughts and back into the kitchen. You are staring at him, a flustered expression deep in your features as you look into his eyes. 
He doesn’t shy away from you, from the fact that he’s been caught staring as he lost himself in his thoughts. 
“Sorry… What? Got– I got a little lost there a bit.” 
You clear your throat, surprised by his words, you straighten your back and blink. 
“W-What were we… if we weren’t enemies?” 
Steve watches the way your lips move, the way you shift on the counter and pull your hands on your lap where your dress rides up the slightest bit, the way your perfume makes him want to bury his face in your neck and inhale more of it, the way you seem to become prettier and prettier, each passing second. 
He has to force himself to look away from you so he can come up with the right words. He cranes his neck and looks up at the ceiling, squinting his eyes and pursing his lips. 
“Well…” 
What were you to each other? 
What were you to him? 
Steve truly never saw you as an enemy, he didn’t like you, he couldn’t stand you for reasons he only now begins to see and understand, but you were never once his enemy. 
“I wanted to rip your hair out sometimes,” he jokes, making you chuckle, “but… I never wanted to make your life miserable. We weren’t in the same… groups or mindsets… but that never made us enemies.” 
A surprised but soft chuckle escapes you as you look up at him, your eyes trailing from his face to his neck where the hickeys that you have left are so visible to you. 
You believe him. 
As mean as he could be, there was never an evil side to him that wanted people to suffer or feel bad. Though you did feel miserable because of him but it was never Steve’s fault, it was your own, only your heart was to blame. If it didn’t get so attached to him, if it wasn’t his from the moment you laid your cynical eyes on him, his actions and words wouldn’t have hurt in the slightest, you would’ve brushed them off, you would’ve brushed him off, but you couldn’t, you were done for. 
But even if you could change it, if you could take your heart back and change your own feelings, you wouldn’t have done it, not even back then when you suffered nothing but sadness and heartache. Maybe you’re a masochist, or maybe just a hopeless romantic with too much hidden hope – hope that you yourself didn’t even want to admit to having, not until recently. 
“Hmm,” you hum and hook your finger around his belt, pulling him closer and between your legs, “and what am I to you now?” 
Your question catches him off guard once more, the look in your eyes so hopeful, though his own cannot see because the panic in him rises so quickly that it steals his breath away. 
What are you to him? 
What are you both to each other?  
He wishes you were his, he wants you to be his, and after last night’s realization, after seeing what he’s been craving all along, he wants you to be his girl, his only, tonight and for always. 
He doesn’t want this to be a short summer, he doesn’t want this to be a temporary relationship – he wants more, he wants a future, a future with you. 
But what do you want? 
What can he say to you when he only wants one thing? 
Steve knows exactly what to say, but he can’t give you the truth now, can he? 
He doesn’t want to ruin this, this night or this thing between you – he needs to find out more, he needs to be more sure before he risks something. 
“You’re my… friend.”
You try not to flinch at that word, you try to hide the pain in your eyes and the physical reaction from the stab in your heart. 
Of course this is what you are to him. 
A friend. 
“We’re friends,” he whispers. 
And you don’t even notice just how forced his own words come out of his mouth, how his eyes shift and the excitement leaves his features for a moment, how he doesn’t seem fond of his own answer. 
The bitterness on your tongue spreads and you have to reach for your glass of wine to take a sip and swallow it down. 
Tension rises between you but only for a moment because you both refuse to let a few words ruin this night for you. 
“Friends,” you nod and you too miss the way he flinches now, the way he scrunches his eyes as though pangs of pain hit him out of nowhere, the way he still places his hands on your thighs, the way a friend definitely shouldn’t. 
But you aren’t really friends are you? 
Because friends aren’t supposed to be this close and look at each other so longingly, they shouldn’t reach for one another the moment they’re close enough to touch, they shouldn’t meet up in secret to spend nights together and sit at dinner tables with each other, stare at one another with shiny eyes and giddy smiles as their hearts beat in sync through every emotion, they shouldn’t stare at each others lips and wait for the right moment to kiss, their fingers shouldn’t touch while they’re eating their dinner. 
And they certainly shouldn’t do this. 
Your lips are locked with his, you are kissing each other feverishly, your fingers are lost in his hair, his are digging into your sides as he pushes you towards his bed, not once did he break the kiss on the way up to the second floor, despite the giggles that threatened to escape when you both tripped a few times. 
Your heart is beating strongly against your ribcage, your skin feels hotter than ever as moans echo through his room. 
Steve’s lips mold against yours so perfectly, his hands hold you so tightly yet so gently and something feels so different today, feelings that are much more intense than usual are on overdrive tonight, something in the way he holds you feels so raw, so real. 
When your head hits the pillows and his chest presses against yours as he hovers over you, you remove your hands from his hair and slip them down his chest, reaching for the hem of his shirt, though to your surprise, he grabs your hands, gently, he pins them down but not harshly, the tips of his fingers brushing against your palms and when he breaks the kiss, you look up in confusion, not understanding why he stopped you, why he slowed you down. 
“What…?” You mumble.
Steve can’t help but smile at the cute frown on your face, your lips are puffy, your hair is a mess already. 
He feels nervousness rushing through his body but more so, he feels anticipation. 
“I want to try something new tonight,” he whispers before he presses another kiss to your lips, surprising you with the softness of it. “Is that okay?” 
You nod and whisper a small ‘yes’ despite not knowing what he means by that. 
“Do you trust me?” He asks as though he doesn’t hold your heart in the palm of his hand, as though you wouldn’t follow him blindly into anything. 
You don’t know what this means, how far he will take things tonight, how rough he will get or what the new thing is that he seemingly feels desperate to try but you would say yes to anything when it comes to him.
“I do,” you say only above a whisper. 
His lip twitches at that, his eyes lighten up and he wastes no time to connect his lips to yours again, closing his eyes and getting lost in it, in you. 
He realizes just how intimate all of this is, this night, these touches, yours and his words, and it’s all he wished for, all that he ever wanted, all that he craved and longed for. 
Before you, he saw a faceless woman by his side as he yearned for a deep connection, a kind of love he never experienced before, one that would not only bring him back to life but also consume him in every shape and form. He waited and waited, met new girls and took one after the other out, date after date and no future was still in sight until he had gotten so desperate that he had made peace with the fact that there was only one he had something real with – but even that was false, her love was never real, it was nothing but a delusion to him and he realized that his feelings weren’t real either, at least during his second try, they were only the result of desperation and loneliness. 
And he knows, he knows that this might not be real either, that you might not feel the same, that you might never feel the same but he doesn’t really care, especially not in this moment, when your fingers dig into his hair again and your lips move with his so naturally, so softly, like it’s the only thing meant to be. 
Your moans, your smell, your taste and your body beneath him makes him feel things he had never felt before. To feel you clinging to him and kissing him with so much passion makes his heart scream in joy, the heart that only beats for you now. 
Your tongues meet as his fingers pull the straps of your dress down your arms, grazing your skin with his touch, pulling out whimpers from you that shoot straight through him, making everything feel so much hotter. His palm slips down your chest and your waist before it falls to your hip where your dress had already ridden up to, his hand disappears under it but instead of reaching for your panties to yank them down your legs the way he usually would do, he just lets it rest there for a moment, needing to feel your warm, bare skin underneath his hand. 
Your chest rises up and down heavily, it’s pressed against his and he can feel how strongly your heart is beating, matching the pace of his own. 
He feels how desperate you are getting as you grab at his hair harder than before, bucking your hips up to meet his and he grants you your wish, grinding his erection against your core, he makes you both moan in pleasure. 
And when your lips break apart and you call out his name, Steve nearly crumbles. 
He leans down to kiss your neck and you tilt your head to the side, almost immediately, welcoming him to mark your skin up with love bites, and he does, his lips meet your skin, over and over again, kissing softly and sucking gently, he then moves down to your collarbone, leaving no spot unkissed. 
You pull your brows together so strongly, overwhelmed by his gentle touches and the feeling of his lips kissing you this way but you can only close your eyes and moan for him, savoring this very moment. 
“Steve…” You whimper as you feel the hot sensation flushing through you and burning in your core. 
He takes your dress off slowly, not quickly or desperately, he takes his time slipping it down your body. His large hand grabs at your hip, his fingers playing with the thin material of your panties as his lips are still latched onto your collarbone, that he pulls away from to take a look at you. 
There you lie beneath him in nothing but your matching underwear, your eyes hooded and filled with emotions you usually hide, your puffy lips are parted, your cheeks are flushed, you furrow your brows in need as you look up at him with pleading eyes. 
He sucks in a shaky breath as his heart skips several beats, your beauty, your soft skin, your smell, the look in your eyes all being too much for his poor heart. 
He is so genuinely done for – there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you, all you have to do is look at him with these eyes and he’d do anything you’d ask him to. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, unable to hold himself back with words a friend shouldn’t say with such emotions. 
He misses the way your eyes widen and fill with surprise as he pushes his hands under your back so he can unclasp your lilac colored bra, he throws the lace down on the floor where your dress is lying. 
He kisses your chest and wraps his plush lips around your nipple, his hands slip down your stomach and he hooks his finger around your panties, removing them slowly. 
You look down at him, your heart unable to find calmness as everything he does, drives you crazy tonight. A gasp tears from your parted lips when he slips his fingers through your wet folds, teasing your entrance before he brings his digits up to your clit. 
“S-Steve,” you moan as you bring your hand down to his hair, digging your fingers through it and gripping it tightly. 
He meets your eyes and you watch how he kisses down your body, softly, gently, slowly and not tearing his eyes away from your face, he keeps looking, staring at you as his lips trail kisses down your chest, your stomach, your hip bones. 
Is that what friends do? 
Steve spreads your thighs and he lies down before you, he moves his palm from your knee to your hip, throwing one leg over his shoulder before he leans in closer to kiss your inner thighs, truly leaving no spot unkissed. 
You swallow harshly, unable to figure out what to do with yourself when he handles you so carefully, so… lovingly, almost as though he could feel something other than lust for you. 
You blink and stare in anticipation, breathy whines keep falling from your lips, the fluttering in your stomach growing stronger and stronger.
You lean on your elbows, not wanting to look away from him just yet. His hair is messy from your tugging, his cheeks are pink, his eyes dark and filled with something you cannot read. 
He looks so pretty between your thighs. 
Steve leans into you, licking his lips before he presses the tip of his tongue to your entrance, slipping it through your folds and bringing it up to your clit where he wraps his lips around it and starts sucking teasingly. 
Your breath hitches in your throat, your brows furrowing even more than before as you grip his hair tightly. 
He gives no time to react before he holds on tighter and begins to eat you out, hungrily yet softly. His movements are slow and sensual, his moans vibrate against you. 
His name falls from your lips over and over again as your head sinks deeper into his pillows, everything about this brings you a pleasure you haven’t felt before, it’s so much more intense than usual. 
“You always taste so good, baby,” he murmurs against you, nudging his nose against your clit as he slips his tongue into you, catching you off guard with his words and the sudden action. 
His free hand slipping back up to your chest, he pinches your nipple and rolls it with his thumb before he grabs your breast. 
“Don’t stop,” you breathe as you throw your hand over his, feeling out of control with your emotions when you slip your fingers through his and keep his hand there – right over your beating heart. 
Steve moans approvingly, squeezing your hand as he deepens all his movements, adding his fingers as he continues on pleasuring you with his mouth – a kind of pleasure you both get lost in. Moans and whimpers echo through the room, you pant and breathe heavily as waves crash over your body and you get closer and closer to the edge he never fails to bring you to. 
Watery eyes meet his soft ones, your fingers now molding together, your hips rising up to grind against his face as he unravels you. You see the way he is moving, the way his own hips grind against the mattress to find some sort of relief, his moans are just as desperate as yours.
His chin glistens with your slickness and he keeps moaning as though you’re the sweetest thing he ever tasted – and you are, you are the sweetest thing he ever tasted on his tongue, touching and feeling you this way burns everything in him and he can’t help but want more of it. 
“You’re so close, I can feel it,” he murmurs against you, pressing kisses to your sensitive nub as his fingers curl deeply inside of you, the tips grazing that very spot that makes you whine his name so cutely. 
You dig your nails into his skin as you still hold onto his hand, your other is still lost in his hair, gripping and tugging at it as the fire burns in your core, everything flutters inside of you. You blink through your tears and keep your eyes on him, watching the way he licks and sucks on your clit, the way he looks so content doing this. 
You try to speak though your words get lost when he speeds up his movements, making you shut your eyes in pleasure as your jaw falls slack. 
His long fingers slamming in and out of you, joined by his tongue again, he shakes his head from side to side, his nose nudging against your clit over and over again. 
“Open your eyes,” he murmurs against you, his voice adding vibrations, “look at me, I want to see your eyes.” 
You oblige, despite the tears that pool in your eyes, you do your best to grant him his wish. 
“Just like that, good girl,” he hums and hits that spot inside of you, causing your whole body to tense up and your cries to fill the room. He doesn’t stop there, not even when your body falls limp and your heavy breathing along with the sensitive whimpers sounds through the room now. 
Steve licks you through your high, moaning in delight and kissing your clit just to tease you, making you jerk and whimper. 
“Please,” you whisper, looking at him with your teary, pleading eyes. 
He pulls away but only to take his clothes off, finally, you were so lost in the pleasure you didn’t even notice just how much clothing was still on his body. 
He tears his tank top off and throws it down on the floor, unbuckling his belt next and practically tearing down his jeans and boxers, letting his aching dick slap against his stomach, his tip red and leaking, his length twitching as it did the whole time he was eating you out, he nearly busted before, the sensation of it all tonight, being too overwhelming and it’s hard to keep himself together when he looks down at your pretty face and your bare body, your pussy glistening and so ready for him. 
He could stare at you for hours but he feels so desperate to feel you, to be inside of you, he presses his palms against your knees and spreads them further apart, he settles in between them and leans down before you, looking deeply into your eyes after pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 
He isn’t blind or unaware of the way your breathing stutters in your throat, the way you gulp and stare in confusion as you stare into his eyes. 
And then, you raise yourself up a little, propping yourself up on your elbow as you slip your hand down his stomach, making him breathe in harshly as his heart skips a beat. In lust, he watches the way you slip your own fingers through your slick folds, gathering your wetness before you bring your hand up to his cock, wrapping your hand around it, you start stroking him slowly, making him whimper at the feeling. He grips the sheets beneath you and watches the way your much smaller hand moves around him, the way you tease his slit with your thumb, making him shudder over you. 
“F-Fuck,” he whispers, trying not to close his eyes but this drives him crazy, the intimacy of it all making it all feel so much better, “just like that, baby.” 
A tiny noise, something close to a whimper falls from your lips thanks to the nickname he started giving you on occasions. 
“That feels so good,” he moans as he continues to watch, finding it hard to control himself, “are you ready for me?” He asks as his eyes move up your body before they meet yours again. 
You nod quickly and buck your hips up, teasing both him and yourself when you slide the crown of his dick through your sensitive folds before you guide him into your entrance. He instantly reaches for your hip, digging his fingers into your skin as he feels your warmth sucking him in, your wet walls gripping at him despite not being fully inside yet. He watches your face, the way it scrunches up in pleasure, the way your jaw falls slack and your eyes stay glued on him as you watch the way his cock disappears inside of you. He listens to your moans and feels the way you hold onto his shoulders tightly the moment he takes control. 
“Steve!” 
His heart could beat through his bones and rip through his skin at this moment and he wouldn’t care. 
He needs more, he needs you closer, he pushes in deeper and deeper, splitting you open and making you both whimper. He stills once he’s fully inside, letting out a shaky breath when he feels you pulsating around him. 
You breathe heavily, he can feel it, your chest is flush against his, he’s got you close, just like he wanted you. 
“S-Steve,” you repeat his name in a whisper, feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, by all those feelings, by this and yet you want more, you crave more, you crave him. You muster up all your strength and wrap your legs around his waist. 
“I know, baby,” he whispers, surprising you for yet another time this night when he moves both his hands up your body, one slipping from your shoulder to your wrist and then to your hand, lying his palm flat against yours, he cups your cheek with his other hand, sliding it across your jawline as he tilts your head up so he can see your eyes, so he can gaze into them. 
You feel as though your frown might stay permanent on your face after tonight, but everything he does confuses you, even more so when slips his fingers through the gaps in yours and intertwines them together, holding your hand tighter than ever before as he leans his forehead against yours. 
His breath mingles with yours, his nose nudges against yours and your lips touch but he doesn’t kiss you yet, he squeezes your hand as he pulls out and pushes back in, stealing your breath away. 
Everything about this feels so deep, so intimate, you feel vulnerable tonight with the way he handles you so differently. 
Tears of pleasure and love prickle in your eyes and you suddenly find it hard to keep your emotions down, especially when he closes his eyes and he kisses you as though it’s the only thing he is meant to do. His palm rests against your jawline as his fingers get lost in your hair. Your moans match his own as he starts rolling his hips, slowly and deeply. 
Your hands cling to each other, your chests are pressed together, he slides in and out of you, his tip hitting and rubbing against the spot that tears out sounds from you that you never made with anyone else before. 
As deep and hungry as the kiss is, you want to feel him closer, so after swallowing down the confusion and leaving the questions for another time, you bring him closer by sliding your free hand down his back, stroking his skin and grazing it with your nails, you grab his ass and dig your fingers into his skin, causing him to moan even louder as he thrusts deeper. 
You feel the shudders that grip at your body, the hot waves and the fire that burns within you, your heart that threatens to burst at the way it fills with even more love for the man panting above you, moaning just for you, because of you. 
Even when he breaks the kiss, he doesn’t move away from your lips, keeping his against yours as he opens his eyes again to look at you while his hips move faster and he fucks into you deeper. 
Steve strokes the top of your hand with his thumb, his other hand still resting on your jaw, his dark eyes gazing into your own, he looks at you so differently and it makes you want to cry, you are too overwhelmed, too sensitive, too vulnerable to feel such hopeful feelings when you know damn well that you could lose this and him any moment but how can you not hope when he looks at you as though you’re something worth loving, when he whispers your name as though it comes from his heart, when he pecks your lips and nuzzles his nose to yours. 
No words are spoken, your touches and the eye contact are enough tonight, everything he could speak with his words are written in his eyes. 
But everything that lies on the tip of your tongue, threatens to spill the closer you get and the longer he looks at you this way. 
I love you. I love you. I love you, you scream in your mind, not knowing that these words match the ones in his mind. 
Tears slip down your cheeks, tears that Steve kisses away with his lips as he holds you tighter and pulls you closer as his hips meet yours and he thrusts in deeper, his hand only letting go of your jaw so he can slip it down your stomach and touch you between your thighs, he catches your moan in a feverish kiss as his fingers rub at your sensitive nub. 
Your tongues clash together and your lips move sensually and roughly as he moves faster, making himself whimper in need. 
This isn’t the first time that Steve discovers something with you, but this makes him live through something entirely new, he had never felt anything like this before, he had never felt his heart race so fastly in his chest, he had never felt this kind of heat, this kind of fire burning in his whole body, nearly overwhelming him and making him cry too. 
His newfound feelings make this experience even more pleasurable, to hear your moans and to feel you clinging to his shaking body, to know that he is the one who is getting to touch you and feel you like this makes him feel… special. 
He wants you, he wants you in every way possible. 
He can feel his heart yearning for you, yearning for more with you, he can hear it screaming your name. 
Steve loves you, god, he loves you so much that his feelings nearly crush him. 
He wants you to know, he needs you to know but his fears hold him back and he swallows them down, begrudgingly so. 
If only he knew that you would cry tears of joy if he told you those three little words. 
If only you knew that this isn’t just sex, that this is something else, that he is making love to you. 
When you both reach your peak and you come undone, gasping and crying out in pleasure, you keep kissing, you don’t stop, despite the lack of air in your lungs, you keep kissing, you keep moving, you want more and more, you don’t want this moment to end. 
You can feel the shift of emotions, his touches feel so different than they did before, his hands and lips linger a little longer, his eyes look at you in a way that has your own skipping and fluttering. 
He keeps his fingers entwined with yours, even when he is no longer inside of you and chasing after his high, even when the moment is long over, he keeps holding your hand, he pulls you on top of him now, covering your lower half with the thin covers. 
And now it’s you who cups his cheek to kiss him, sliding your fingers down his jawline and moving your lips against his, nuzzling your nose against his just the way he did before. 
Steve runs his finger up and down your spine, playing with your hair and stroking your soft skin, smiling into the kiss as he gets lost in the feeling of love, a kind of love he never felt before. 
Sweat shines on Steve’s forehead, his hair clinging to his skin, his cheeks more flushed than before, he is humming into the kiss, feeling every happy emotion flushing through him as you make noises that leave his stomach with butterflies. 
You break the kiss with a soft giggle as you watch him chasing after your lips. 
He puckers his lips, begging for another kiss and how could you say no to him? 
You lean in again, not bothering to tuck your hair away when it falls in front of your face. You kiss his lips, only shortly, but enough to satisfy him. 
“Hmm, I might have to do this more often,” he murmurs and cups the back of your head when you lay your head on his chest. 
“Do what?” You ask as you loosen your grip on his hand and lay your palm flat against his, taking in the sight of how much larger his is. 
“Cook for you, you got all soft on me, Blondie,” he whispers and plays with your fingers, lacing them together with yours, making your heart flutter yet again. 
Your lips part and you raise your brows as you look at him, “oh, I got soft on you?” 
He is teasing you, you can see it, the way his lips tug into a smirk and his eyes flash with amusement. 
“Mhmm,” he nods, “got all sweet and adorable on me tonight, I can’t even remember what it’s like to deal with your mean side – not that I don’t like your mean side, I clearly do, turns me on, if I’m being honest.” 
A surprised giggle falls from your lips. 
It makes his heart flutter now, his eyes crinkle as a bigger smile appears on his face. 
“You’re kind of a dork, you know?” You whisper and rest your chin on his chest, gazing up at him, starry eyed. “I almost don’t remember your sassy side.” 
“Sassy?” He raises his eyebrows at you. 
“Mhmm, you’re sassy, Lego head.” 
He chuckles softly, “Lego head, you haven’t used that in a while.”
You giggle again and reach your left hand up to touch his hair, brushing away the curls that are stuck to his forehead. 
“I bet you miss the nickname.”
You don’t see the way he looks at you, you never really do but the awestruck look in his eyes is so hard to miss. 
“No, I kinda came to enjoy you calling me Stevie.”  
You tilt your head to the side, looking back into his loving eyes, “oh?”
“Hmm,” you hum, smiling as you move closer to him, “Stevie… cute.” 
You look at each other with smiles on your lips.
“Can I ask you something?” He whispers as he rests his palm along your jaw, tucking your hair behind your ear as his hazel eyes trace your features. 
“Of course,” you whisper back. 
He blinks, taking a moment to speak up again, his cheeks still glowing pink underneath the golden light from the small lamp on his desk. 
“What’d you think of me when we first met?” He murmurs, blushing. “When we were teens… I mean…” 
His thumb grazes your bottom lip, he touches you so softly, so gently as he looks at you with patience. 
Your heart jumps in your chest, panic spreading around it as you repeat the question in your mind. 
Oh Steve, if only you knew, you think to yourself as you stare at him, taking him in and how he looks at you. 
No one’s ever looked at you this way. 
No one’s ever touched you this way. 
No one’s ever made you feel emotions that probably kept you alive during your darkest days. 
He deserves honesty, doesn’t he? 
But he is scared of it, you can see it in his eyes, you know how ashamed he is of how he acted as a teenager, and you know how bad he feels when others remind him of his past, teasing and laughing in his face about King Steve. 
If only he knew how much you have worshiped the ground he walked on from the moment you laid your eyes on him, how you never once thought badly of him, not even when he hurt you with cruel words. 
‘I have loved you from the moment your hand touched mine when you brushed past me in the hallway for the very first time.’ Is what you should say but you can’t, despite the aching feeling in your chest, you cannot utter these words, no matter the shift between you both tonight and the hope he filled you with. 
But he waits, he waits for you to answer his question and who are you to leave him waiting? 
“Insufferable. And a douche.” At those words, Steve’s eyebrows fall in sadness, prompting you to smile sweetly at him. “But I knew you never meant it. I knew it wasn’t truly you…”
“Oh? And how would you know that?” He asks, his thumb going in circles in the small of your back as your eyes twinkle with love, with admiration, with devotion.
“Because I saw you.”
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars @moon-flowerrs
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faithshouseofchaos · 3 months
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Ollie and proud big sis reader??? Who may or may not be Carlos’ wag 🤭🤭🤭 you know I’m a Carlos thot
- 🐮
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Proud of you little brother — Ollie Bearman x Older!sister reader
It’s a little rough but it’s pretty decent
Tagged— @ashy-kit @astraeaworld @67-angelofthelordme-67 @a-casual-romantic @alwayzbeenale @badassturtle13 @bblouifford @bbtoni @barcelonaloverf1life @charlesf1leclerc @crashingwavesofeuphoria @clowngirlsstuff @dark-night-sky-99 @dudenhaaa27 @eugene-emt-roe @embrosegraves @faithsotherhouseofchaos @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hangmandruigandmav @hollie911 @hrts4scarr @ironcowboycopnickel @jeffs77 @kimiracing07 @lightdragonrayne @lollypop90907 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @moss-on-tmblr @natailiatulls07 @norrisleclercf1 @oconswrld @otako5811 @purplephantomwolf @toasttt11 @uluvjay @vellicora @venusisnothere @vivwritesfics
“Carlos, are you sure you should be discharged from the hospital and go to the paddock? You're supposed to be on bed rest.” You say to your boyfriend while helping him get dressed.
“Yes I’m positive and it’s your brother's first F1 race. I want to be there.” Carlos says.
You looked over at Carlos sr who put his hands as to say don’t drag me into this as he walked out of the room.
“Carlos baby I’m sure Ollie would understand if you want to stay in bed and take it easy and my father will be there so Ollie won’t be alone” you say.
“Yeah but it’s your little brothers first F1 debut race and I don’t want you to miss it so I’m going” Carlos says standing up to kiss you.
“Fine but if one of your stitches tears I don’t want to hear anything about it” you tell him.
“I promise you’ll hear no complaints from me of that happens” Carlos says
“Ok, you’re being stubborn so just take it easy please” you say as Carlos hugs you.
“I know, I got it, babe. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” Carlos says as he starts to exit the room.
“You remember what the doctor said? Any pain, nausea, fever or vomiting means go straight to the hospital” you say.
You and Carlos make it to the paddock before the race starts. It was safe to say that everyone didn’t expect to see Carlos up and walking around so soon. But here he was in the Ferrari garage talking to your brother Ollie and father David.
“Hey Ollie,” you said, giving your little brother a hug.
Ollie returned the hug with a smile. It was great to see you and Carlos there and he couldn’t wait for the race to start.
“Hey little bro, how are you doing? Are you excited?” Carlos asked with a smile.
“Yeah I’m really excited. The car feels good and even though I won’t qualify in a points scoring position I still feel like it could be a good race.” Ollie replied
“That’s all you can ask for little bro. Just go out there and make me and your sister proud.” Carlos said.
"I’ll do my best." Ollie said as he gave both of his older sister and brother in law a hug before going off to the grid with the other drivers.
“I think he’s going to do great.” You said to Carlos as you watched from the garage.
“Yes he has a good head on his shoulders; he’s got your brains.” Carlos said with a smile.
The race was scheduled to start soon and the tension was growing.
You, your father, Carlos and all the other Ferrari engineers gathered around to watch the race.
Ollie started the race from 11th and had a great start. He seemed to be making his way through the field. It was pretty evident that Ollie was great at adapting to his environment.
You were on stressed the whole race. Every time Ollie went to overtake a driver you held your breath and squeezed Carlos’s hand tighter. Carlos for sure thought you would end up breaking his hand.
“Isn’t he doing great?” Carlos asked your father.
“Yes, this is impressive,” replied David.
The crowd was into the race and everyone was watching the big screens for the latest updates.
The race was coming to an end and Ollie had managed to finish 7th after a last lap overtake. He was being rewarded his first F1 points and Carlos gave a hearty congratulations to your little brother.
Ollie was happy and ecstatic to have the points. It was a great start to his F1 career. This was what he dreamed about and it finally happened.
Carlos embraced your little brother and congratulated him as well. This was a very special moment for all of you.
“Oh my god Ollie that was so stressful but I’m so proud of you” you say hugging your little brother
“I can’t believe I just got my first F1 points,” Ollie said with a big smile.
“I’m so proud of you little bro.” Carlos said as he hugged Ollie as well.
It was such a special moment for all of you. The race was over and Ollie was officially an F1 points scorer. This was something you will all remember for the rest of your life.
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