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fandomsimagined · 3 months

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Don't Go Dark - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Title: Don't Go Dark

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Female!Reader

Summary: Kaz Brekker realizes that he has feelings for his healer.

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: What you could expect from Six of Crows

A/N: This is my first time writing for Kaz, so if it's out of character, I apologize. I kind of gave up and phoned it in at the end so if you can tell, I'm sorry. Very loosely inspired by the song Don't Go Dark by Bleachers.

For most of his life, Kaz Brekker called the Barrel home–despite the fact that there was really nothing homey about it–and there was one thing that he knew for certain about the dreadful place: that it always had a tendency to contort even the purest of things into something nasty. No one was good-natured for the sake of it. If someone was kind, it was usually a ploy, as he very well knew. That was one of his first lessons in survival. Love was a weakness that oftentimes had disastrous consequences. The only thing to come from the Barrel was carnage. The currency was blood, and he’d paid his share and then some with his own, and with others. Only the most ruthless and ungodly people prospered, and prosper he did.

Believe it or not, he did remember the short life he had before the Barrel. He remembered his father and their farm, and he remembered after his father died when Jordie sold the farm with the promise that they would find fortune in Ketterdam. That was when he’d learned the most valuable lesson that there was to learn. That the only person he could truly count on was himself. To love nothing and trust no one. If he loved nothing, then there was nothing to be used against him. Nothing that anyone could take from him. It got lonely, but it had kept him alive for this long, a feat not many accomplished, so that was how he lived.

She was different. She didn’t live under the same guise of violence as the rest of Ketterdam. She didn’t have the same mentality: that things can always–and most likely will–get worse. She didn’t hold grudges. Not like Kaz did. Kaz was fueled by vengeance and spite. He took whatever was thrown at him in stride with the knowledge that he would find vindication by dealing a much harsher punishment.

The winter chill bit to the bone, an unfortunate truth for Kaz especially, whose bones were already not in well-working order. His limp was more pronounced as he made his way to his office (formerly Haskell’s). The Dregs were still bustling about, doing Saints knows what, but none would bother him. It was late, the state of his face was less pristine than when he’d left, and his permanent scowl was even more noticeable than usual. No, they would leave him be.

The meeting with the Razorgulls had gone as well as he’d expected, which was not well at all. They weren’t too happy to see him, still holding a grudge over Pekka Rollins’ quite unfortunate downfall. They’d landed a couple of punches, but he always had the upper hand, and they were smart enough when it was over to abandon Fifth Harbor entirely.

His office door was slightly ajar, something that didn’t bode well. He knew that the healer would be waiting for him, but she was never so careless to leave the door open, as there were quite a few documents and collectibles that he preferred to keep away from the other Dregs.

He pushed the rickety door open and immediately he could feel that something was off. She was sitting in the extra wooden chair that he kept there (mostly for her and Jesper since he rarely gave anyone else the privilege to stay in his office for long periods). He sat in his desk chair, his gloved fingers thumbing through the papers that he’d left. Nothing important, just something to keep him occupied.

Kaz Brekker noticed everything; meaning that Kaz Brekker noticed her trembling hands, though she tried to disguise it by keeping them folded in her lap. He noticed her red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks that she’d tried to hide, and he noticed that she was jumpier than usual. Something had happened, that much was obvious, but he wouldn’t push. If she wanted to talk, she would, otherwise, it was none of his concern. Though, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anger at the mere idea of anything happening to her.

“Again? Kaz, you really should be more careful.” It was no surprise that she was born a healer. It was quite literally in her nature to be caring. She was born to fix things.

“Why? If I were to die tomorrow, all of Ketterdam would breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe even cheers to the occasion,” Kaz scoffed. It sounded grim, but it meant that he was good at what he did, so he saw it as an honor of sorts. He was in control.

“I wouldn’t.” She frowned. She moved to stand above him, getting leverage so she could properly heal his face. Her lips were pursed in concentration as her fingers hovered over a gash on his cheek. It was a strange feeling. It was like he could feel the skin stitching back together as she worked. It was like an itch. “I quite like having you around.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.” Kaz raised his eyebrows, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “What are you getting at? A raise?”

“Oh please, why would I even bother trying to flatter you?” She rolled her eyes. “Not when I know all I have to do is compliment Jesper’s hat, give him a few kruge to gamble away, and he’ll talk you into whatever I want.”

“And here I thought that you were too soft for the Barrel.” Kaz smirked.

“I’m serious, what are you going to do if I’m not around to fix you up?”

He thought about the statement carefully. The implication of the words. That was the confirmation he needed to push for further information. She’d opened the door. “Are you planning on going somewhere?” Maybe that’s why she was acting so strange. She seemed like the type to get all weepy about leaving. He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea himself. It would be harrowing work trying to find a new healer. Especially a trustworthy one, but he wouldn’t stop her if that’s what she wanted. He just wouldn’t pretend to be happy about either.

“No!” She exclaimed quickly. “No, of course not.” Her quick response and furrowed brow were a relief. She wasn’t planning on leaving him. Not yet, anyway.

“Well, if you’re not planning on leaving, then I suppose I don’t have to worry about it then, do I?” Kaz spoke bluntly, though he supposed if she listened close enough, she would hear the twinge of satisfaction hidden beneath. It was selfish. Ketterdam was a grim place, but he didn’t want her to leave. She made it a little less grim.

Her fingers moved eloquently, drifting over his broken nose, close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating from her palm. It did him well not to think about how close she was to him. It would probably send him into fight-or-flight mode if he did.

He winced as he felt the bone setting back into place. It was nothing that hadn’t happened before, though he wasn’t sure that he would ever get used to the damn itch that plagued the area as she was working her magic. That wasn’t what bothered him, though. What bothered him was that she hadn’t spoken again, something that was quite unlike her. Normally she would be scolding him or telling him all about whatever had happened at the Crow Club that afternoon. No, she hadn’t spoken and she hadn’t provided any elaboration to her previous statement.

“Is everything alright?” He pressed further. If it was anyone else, he would’ve left it be. A problem for another day, but this wasn’t anyone else.

“No… I mean…” She started and paused, turning to face the wall to her side as if avoiding looking at him. He was relieved that she wasn’t planning on leaving the Dregs just yet, but there was something bothering her and he couldn’t deny being slightly concerned about what it was. Had something happened at the club while he was gone? Surely one of the others downstairs would have mentioned something to him when he walked in if it had. But, there was no way to be sure.

She turned back to face him, taking a shaky breath as if trying to figure out what to say. “This afternoon while I was on my way to the club, a man grabbed me. Put a knife to my throat and said that if I didn’t give him all of my kruge, then he would slit my throat, watch me bleed out, and then take it all anyways. It wasn’t even much, just seventeen, but he was willing to kill me for it.” He clenched his jaw as she recounted the story. He wouldn’t interrupt, but he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t already plotting on what he would do when he found the bastard. She reached up to fiddle with the necklace chain that she always wore, but it was missing. He’d taken her locket too.

“I was sure he would kill me even if I gave it to him, I saw his face for Saints’ sake, but I just… It made me think about if something had happened to me, then who would be here to make sure that you didn’t get yourself killed? I mean, you’ve almost done it several times with me here and I’m one of the best healers in Kerch, not to pat myself on the back or anything…” She was one of the best healers in Kerch. That was why he’d recruited her in the first place, and that was why she was under his protection. Though, he thought that she might’ve been exaggerating. He was pretty sure, he only almost died twice, and only once was his fault.

“Who was it?” Kaz said through gritted teeth. It was unlikely that it was anyone from a rival gang. It wasn’t a secret that she was associated with the Dregs and they weren’t stupid. Pulling a stunt like that would start a war, especially since it was in Fifth Harbor. That was his territory. No, the only one that bold would be the Dime Lions, but they would’ve killed her to send a message. This was probably some random person off of the street if he had to guess. Looking for a quick buck, so they thought why not steal it? What they didn’t know was that they’d stolen it from the wrong woman.

“Kaz-”

“Who was it?” He repeated.

“It doesn’t matter. The point is, that I might not be here next time you decide to go and get yourself all bloodied up, and what if it’s more serious next time?” He didn’t like the way that she was talking so casually about the prospect of dying. Like it was inevitable, and she was making her final arrangements before she went.

“Listen to me carefully. Nothing’s going to happen to you because I won’t let it.” It was a statement not a question. He would make sure to get the message across that not only was she associated with the Dregs, but she was under the protection of Dirtyhands himself, and he would make sure to send a very clear warning as to what would happen should anyone get the bright idea to lay a finger on his crew again.

“You’re not always going to be there to protect me, Kaz. We all know it’s only a matter of time. People like me don’t make it very long here. I’m not strong, or smart, or resourceful enough…” Her eyes were glassy, trying to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes. He was confused. None of those things could have been farther from the truth. She may have been soft, sure, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t smart or strong. She had to be strong to have put up with him for so long. He wasn’t known to be the most facile person in the world.

“Nothing is going to happen to you.” Kaz’s voice was gravelly. It was rough. In fact, he’d often heard it described as the voice of a demon, or the devil himself. There was nothing soothing about it, yet he saw her shoulders slump in what seemed to be relief. That even though the Saints had never looked out for her, he would.

She didn’t say anything else. Neither did he. That was that. There was nothing left to be said. He didn’t make promises that he didn’t intend to keep. He lied, he stole, he killed, but he didn’t break his promises. And there wasn’t a promise that he ever intended to keep more than that one.

She silently worked on mending the split on his cheek. The Razorgulls had gotten a couple of good shots in. More than he thought, and he was starting to feel it, though he wouldn’t for long.

“Stay at the Slat tonight.” He finally broke the silence. She didn’t live far, but clearly she wasn’t safe and he couldn’t have that.

“What?” She shot him a puzzled look. It was seemingly out of the blue, and he didn’t exactly give much room for any discussion.

“I want you to stay at the Slat tonight. It’s late, you shouldn’t walk home in the dark.”

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Kaz perused the selection at Alwynn’s pawn shop. When he’d noticed that her necklace had been stolen, he knew that it had probably ended up in a pawn shop somewhere. No one stole jewelry off of ladies on the street to wear. No, clearly he needed money.

He’d expected to have to go to more than one shop to find any relevant information, but no. It was almost too easy. He’d spotted the necklace on a display in the front of the store. He recognized it immediately. The dainty gold chain could’ve easily been confused, but the locket that dangled from it, couldn’t be.

“Mr. Brekker, I didn’t think of you as the jewelry type,” Alwynn gave a short laugh.

“Well, Alwynn, there are quite a few things you don’t know about me.”

“That, I’m sure of.”

“How much did you buy it for?” Kaz inquired.

“Bought it for twenty-five. Selling it for forty-two.” Kaz wasn’t surprised. Alwynn had always been a crook.

“Who brought it in?”

“I’m afraid I can’t say. Merchant-client privilege, I’m sure you understand.” Alwynn appeared nervous now. Good.

“I’ll pay double the price.”

Alwynn thought for a moment. “His name’s Griffin. He came in yesterday afternoon. He’s been staying in the alley beside Burke’s.”

“Thank you, Alwynn. It’s been a pleasure as always.” He was well aware that he probably could’ve stolen the necklace or threatened him without spending the kruge, but he decided to, for once, pick his battles. He slid over the proper amount of kruge before making his way to the door.

Kaz found Griffin exactly where Alwynn said he would be.He’d clearly been staying there, the pile of rags on the ground and empty bottles were scattered beside them. He almost felt sorry for him. He almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Kaz approached Griffin, making his presence known. The man, probably around twenty or so, must have been at least a little intelligent, because his expression was a mixture of fear and confusion.

“Good evening Griffin,” Kaz crooned. “You know, I heard from a close source of mine that you met a lady around this area yesterday afternoon.”

“I meet a lot of ladies around here.” Griffin scoffed.

“Well, this particular lady said that you threatened her. Stole her money and a necklace. Surely you would remember that. Unless, you make a habit out of stealing from women. Do you?”

“What?”

“Do you only target women to pay for your alcohol addiction, or was this particular lady just a special case?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he sputtered.

“How much did you take?” Kaz growled, ignoring the obvious lie that had escaped from his mouth. He didn’t need an answer. He already knew. 17 kruge and her necklace (which he’d gotten thirty-five for at the shop), but he wanted to hear him admit it.

“I told you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Even if Kaz didn’t already know he was lying, it wouldn’t have been hard to tell. The sweat beading at his forehead, the way his eyes darted, the fact that he had around fifty-two kruge worth of bottles at his feet. It was too easy.

“This wouldn’t happen to jog your memory would it?” Kaz held the chain out. Griffin’s face went pale. It was as if all of the color had simply vanished. “So, I’ll ask again: how much did you take?”

“Not a lot, just seventeen kruge, and I’ll-”

“You’ll pay it back. In fact, you’re going to pay back the seventeen that you stole, the eighty-four I had to pay to buy the necklace back from the crook you sold it to, and an extra thirty kruge for making me get out in this dreadful cold to track down you and this necklace.” Kaz felt it to be a fair trade. For him at least.

“I don’t have that kind of money.”

“Well, I suggest that you find it before the week is out. Paid in full, and after that, I don’t want to see you back in Fifth Harbor again, and if I do, I’ll make sure that you end up at the bottom of the Harbor.” He turned to walk back towards the street, but he turned back before he got there. He swung his cane, hard, at Griffin’s right hand–his dominant one–earning a howl of pain. “Next time you decide to steal jewelry from a woman on the street, I would suggest selling it to a shop that’s not only a few feet away from where you’re staying.”

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“What’s this?” She looked puzzled at the pouch of kruge that he’d dropped on the table in front of her. Kaz didn’t answer, and realization flooded over her face. “Kaz…” she gave him a stern look. “You didn’t kill him, did you? I would feel really guilty if you killed him.”

“Relax, I didn’t kill him.” Kaz scowled. “But, he won’t be bothering you or anyone else around Fifth Harbor anymore.”

“That really makes it sound like you killed him…”

“I did not kill him. I simply reminded him that it’s not very polite to threaten women.” Kaz rolled his eyes. “Besides, if I’d killed him, I wouldn’t have gotten this back, would I?” He draped the gold chain over his gloved fingers. It was beside the point that he’d found the necklace before he’d found Griffin, and that he could’ve easily gotten it back had he killed him. She didn’t need to know that.

“You got my locket back?” She gasped in disbelief. She took the chain, eyes wide. “How? Wait…” she paused. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“I’ll have you know that you’re missing out on quite the lovely story, then,” Kaz teased.

“I’m sure. I think it’ll be far lovelier if I never find out, though.” She chuckled. “Because something tells me it involved some of your more extreme measures.”

“Not extreme enough if you ask me. He got to keep all of his fingers. You know if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you’re making me soft.”

“Thank you.” She offered him a gracious smile.

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Kaz had never been one to fear others. He was fairly confident in his ability to fight his way out of a skirmish, should one come up, so why would he? He’d fought off far more men than the three in front of him on his own. What could he have to fear?

He had never been afraid, but all it took was a few goddamn words and his blood turned to ice. “It would be a shame if something were to happen to that healer of yours, wouldn’t it?” A threat. A barely subtle attempt at one. In any other case, he probably would’ve laughed it off. Come up with some witty response. He didn’t have it in him. What if it wasn’t a bluff?

“If you touch her, I swear to you, I’ll gut you,” Kaz snarled. It wasn’t the smartest move. Now, there was no doubt that he cared. That they could use her against him.

“The Bastard of the Barrel does have a heart, eh?” Rowell sneered. His last encounter with the Razorgulls hadn’t ended as smoothly as he’d hoped. They’d gone searching on him. Trying to find–well he supposed they did–find leverage. They’d finally found Kaz Brekker’s weakness.

The words echoed through Kaz’s head. “Rowell, if you touch her, I can always pay a visit to Broad Street. I seem to recall that’s where your wife and daughter are? If I find out any of your men touched my healer, I’ll put a bullet in their heads myself.” He was good for it. Rowell knew it. He had never been above killing, and that was when he didn’t have something to lose.

Rowell’s face contorted in alarm. Kaz knew where his family was. Kaz had just as much leverage as he did. The only difference was Kaz was far more ruthless than Rowell ever imagined.

“You may think you’ve found my weakness, Rowell, and maybe you have, but you should know by now that I don’t respond well to threats. If you’re going to do something, do it. Otherwise don’t waste my time and your breath just telling me about it.” With that, Kaz began his trek back to the Slat. For the first time in quite a long time, he was scared. They could very well call his bluff. By this point, Rowell could have already gotten to her by now. He’d spent so much of his time focusing on protecting her from the Barrel, that he’d forgotten that association with Kaz Brekker was the biggest threat of all.

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It had been weeks since Rowell’s threat. He hadn’t taken it lightly. He didn’t think Rowell was brave enough to do anything, but if he’d noticed, it was only a matter of time before others would too, if they hadn’t already.

He’d decided to keep his distance. That was the only way he knew how to keep her safe. Kaz Brekker was the most feared man in the Barrel because he had nothing to lose. If it came out that he did in fact care for anything… well he had a lot of enemies that would waste no time doing everything in their power to take it from him.

He’d been avoiding her altogether. She was hurt. He knew that. It was better for her to be hurt than dead.

He was making his way up the stairs to his study, ready to shut himself for the night to plan for the upcoming job he’d secured. It was nothing big, probably him, Jesper, and a couple of the newer recruits for the Dregs. Test their loyalty before anything major.

He saw her near the bar talking to Jesper, laughing at something he’d said. He swiftly turned away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Xavier (ironically one of the new recruits he was planning to take) grab at her waist. He was quite intoxicated, slurring a remark that he couldn’t hear, but was almost certainly derogatory. She politely pushed him aside, muttering a soft ‘no thank you’, but Xavier wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Kaz didn’t even have time to think, really. He didn’t have to think. It was instinct. He ignored the pain in his leg and crossed the room. He’d never been the biggest fan of Xavier, so he didn’t feel too guilty about the punch that landed on the boy’s jaw. His knuckles throbbed from the contact, but he ignored it. When Xavier offered to try and return the blow, Kaz dodged the jab and cracked his cane over his back.

“This is a respectable establishment, and that means when a woman says ‘no’ that’s the end of the discussion.”

Kaz avoided her gaze, and made his way up to his study, but he was followed.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Kaz muttered, sitting in his chair, finally resting his leg.

“You’ve spent weeks acting like I don’t exist, and now you’re getting in bar fights to defend me? And what? You’re just going to go back to ignoring me?” She was hardly a confrontational person, so Kaz knew that she was angry by the sudden outburst. “I don’t get it. What did I do to make you decide that you hate me?”

Surely she didn’t really believe that he hated her. “I don’t hate you.” He still didn’t look up.

“So, what is it then?” She was blinking back tears. He felt guilty, a feeling that he didn’t even know he was capable of.

“You seriously don’t get it?”

“No, I don’t get it!” She shouted.

“I care about you!” He blurted. “Far more than I should.” His confession earned a scoff. “You don’t believe me?”

She raised her eyebrows. “No, I don’t believe you. Why would I?”

“Why? What would I possibly have to gain from lying to you about that?”

“I don’t know, but I never know anything with you!”

“Fine, if you don’t believe me, then go. If you think I’m lying then why are you still here?” He didn’t believe that she didn’t believe him. She wasn’t stupid. He knew she wasn’t.

“I just want to know why! Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I already told you the truth, so what do you want from me?” Kaz suddenly felt defensive. “I care about you, and people noticed. Rowell threatened you straight to my face, and I realized that if people thought that you meant anything to me, then they’d come after you. They’d kill you to get to me, and that can’t happen.”

“So, it was that easy then? You got scared that someone was going to come after me so you decided to just stop caring? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“That is not what I said. What I said was that if they thought that you were important to me, they would come for you. I never said that meant I stopped caring.” Kaz huffed. “This is the only way that I can be sure you’re safe.”

“Did it ever occur to you that I have a stake in this too?” She was letting the tears fall freely now. “I don’t care who comes after me.”

“I can’t lose you.” Kaz shook his head.

“You don’t have to.”

“I can’t guarantee that people won’t come for you. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I haven’t exactly made a good reputation my priority.” Kaz attempted a joke, but really it served more as a warning. A glimpse into what being close to him would entail, which would mean always looking over your shoulder.

“Believe it or not, I have actually caught on to that part…” She let out a soft chuckle.

He reached up, brushing a stray piece of hair out of her face. He took the opportunity to rest his gloved hand on her cheek. He felt his body tense. His hand fell. Flashes of the nightmare that he’d endured. Jordie’s cold grey skin. The smell of waterlogged rotten flesh. It was as if he was back in the harbor. Surrounded by nothing but death and decay.

She seemed to notice his ordeal. Concern flashed through her eyes. “Are you feeling alright, Kaz?” He’d never told her about his brother. He’d never told anyone, really. As far as he was concerned, Kaz Rietveld had died in that harbor, but that wasn’t all true. If it had, he wouldn’t be damn near hyperventilating because he’d touched her. It was stupid. He was stupid. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking. She probably thought he’d lost his mind.

“I think you need to rest,” she suggested. “I’ll run downstairs and grab you some water, I’ll be right-”

“No.” His voice came out hoarse.

“Kaz, you look like you’re about to pass out, I think you should drink something.”

“I want you to stay.” He sounded needy like a child and he hated it, but he also meant every word. “Please stay.” He grabbed her hand. Only this time, it was easier. He wasn’t thinking about death and despair. He wasn’t thinking about Jordie. He was thinking about her.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #grishaverse #six of crows #imagine #fanfiction #Spotify

534 notes · View notes

webslinger-holland · 1 year

Note

I saw that your requests were open and I cant get the idea out of my head about a reader that worked at the crow club and Kaz just cant get them off his mind.

Then after failing to capture Alina and coming home, the crow club was under new Management and Pekka Rollins had taken interest in the reader, keeping them by his side. How would he react and/or get the reader back with the crows?

Heal His Heart | Kaz Brekker

Warning: slight violence, mentions of provocative attire, mentions of being a captive

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Ever since the Crow Club fell under the new management of Pekka Rollins, Kaz Brekker had been working nonstop to come up with a plan in order to reclaim his rightful throne. He made his way downstairs to meet up with the others.

Now Wylan had been tasked with creating a substance that had similar symptoms of firepox, but it would only last a day or two at most. He placed one of the two boxes on a small table with Jesper carrying the other. Jesper had been in charge of finding the boxes of their old costumes in which he had forgotten to clean them since last year.

Finally, Kaz had come to approach the table. He went to open one of the boxes, finding it filled with spray glass bottles of a mysterious liquid. He directed his gaze to the young boy standing in front of him.

"It'll mimic it in every way?" Kaz needed certainty.

"Mhmm," Wylan nodded.

With that, Kaz closed the lid to the box. He nodded his head in acceptance. There was a moment of silence amongst the small group. The boss turned his head to look directly at his right hand man beside him.

"You're gonna say you can't do this without me, yeah? And that you hate it when we're angry at each other, but sometimes, brothers fight. And that when all this is over, you'll open a tab for me at the club of my choosing," Jesper was rambling.

Kaz's face remained unchanged by Jesper's words. He looked at him sternly.

"Cause when Pekka's gone, you'll take it all. That's what your were gonna say," Jesper finished. He sent a cheeky smile to the others.

"There's a cap on the tab," Kaz insisted. "But otherwise, yes. To all of that."

"Then let's go take down the king," Jesper replied.

"The plan is this: Jesper and Wylan, you're gonna hand out Komedie Brute costumes and vials of the compound to all of the Dregs," Kaz began.

"Per Haskell's gang," Jesper claimed.

"Our gang now," Kaz interjected. "By sunset, the streets will be crawling with Sankt Emerens revelers. They'll provide us with the cover we need."

Sure enough, Wylan and Jesper had succeeded later in the evening when passing out costumes and the vials to the other members. They themselves wore their own costumes for disguise.

"Hit all of Pekka's businesses: The clubs, the brothels. All to destroy Pekka's reputation," Kaz ordered. He further explained Inej's part in delivery the message to Pekka's driver.

In that moment, Nina had come to join the small group by standing beside them. She had a pint in her own hands.

"Nina and I will handle the Emerald Palace," Kaz glanced at Nina beside him. His eyes drifted over the others. "See you there," Kaz dismissed them.

Naturally, Jesper and Inej had shared a look between one another. He had forgotten a vital piece of information to the plan, but he must have had his reasons. He didn't say anything about her.

"No mourners," Jesper began.

"No funerals," the rest of them said simultaneously.

As Jesper and Inej began walking away, Wylan caught up to them to ask why they always said 'no mourners, no funerals.' Inej gave a simple explanation of wanting to keep their expectations low.

Back at the table, Kaz and Nina stood in an awkward silence. She was quick to finish her pint of beer, lowering onto the surface of the table. Kaz kept his gaze on the box in front of him.

"You've been quiet," Kaz noted. He turned his body to address her. "Ready?"

With that, Nina landed a swift punch to the left side of Kaz's face. She had honestly been wanting to do that for some time.

The Emerald Palace was located in Ketterdam's East Stave, being owned and operated by the notorious gang called the Dime Lions. The gambling hall was always bustling with pigeons, bringing in heaps and heaps of money for Pekka Rollins himself.

When Pekka had taken over the Crow Club, he oversaw the distribution of its employees. He had them all line up and he made his decision where he wanted them to work for him.

He liked the big bouncers, opting to send them to the Emerald Palace where he often spent his nights. They'd serve as good additional protection. Many of the waitresses were sent away to work in his various brothels. Others were forced to go to the clubs. Then, there was her.

She was the one who had caught his eye. She stood timidly under his gaze, refusing to make eye contact with him unlike the others. He grabbed her chin to forcefully make her look at him. This caused her to let out a small gasp of surprise.

"Now..." Pekka's deep voice growled as he finally got a chance to look over her striking features. "What's a pretty lass like you working for scum like Kaz Brekker?" Pekka wondered.

"H-He pays me well," Y/n stuttered. She tried to pull herself out of his grasp, but he quickly grabbing onto her arm to hold her in place. "I-I'm just a waitress," Y/n claimed.

"Mhmm, just a waitress." Pekka almost didn't believe her. "Nothing more?"

"N-No," she lied under her breath.

Much like Inej, Kaz had chosen to pay off her indenture at the Menagerie. In turn, Y/n worked for him as a waitress at the Crow Club. She worked the tables, listening in on other people's conversations to hear the latest news circulating around the barrel. It was just another way to hear intel.

She was a resource to him. She was often the reason why he heard about specific jobs or who was no longer a reliable investment. However, that wasn't the only reason why Kaz Brekker liked keeping her around. As she was also a healer.

They shared many late nights together. He'd sit in front of her as she healed some painful wounds inflicted onto his body. Her being a healer was another valuable resource to have at his disposal.

At first, Kaz was wary when Y/n offered to heal a nasty wound inflicted to the side of his head. It caused a dull throbbing pain directly into the side of his head. To ease the almost unbearable pain, Kaz agreed to be healed by her.

He tried to prepare himself. He closed his eyes in order to try not to think about the feeling of ones skin against his own. His past coming to haunt him once again.

But when her fingers came in contact with the side of his face, Kaz didn't flinch away in pain or in disgust. In fact, Kaz felt rather comforted and maybe it was because she was healing a rather painful wound. He almost wanted to lean into her touch as it felt so warm and so gentle.

He kept his eyes closed to relish the feeling, taking a moment to appreciate not feeling the urge to vomit at physical contact. When Y/n had finished healing him, she took a single step backwards and lowered her gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry," Y/n said softly as she already knew that he despised contact.

Instead of scolding her or demanding that she leave his office at once, Kaz approached her with an evident limp in his step. He stood right in front of her with his hands clasped onto the top of the crow head cane.

"Thank you," was all that he said.

They didn't label themselves with anything. There was some undiscussed attraction to each other that they both knew about. Due to his reputation and for her safety, they chose not to discuss such matters ever. This left them in a short of grey area.

"No," Pekka repeated. She was drawn back to reality, facing the heartless man in front of her. "Well, I can tell that Brekker didn't see your worth. How'd you like to come work for me? I pay handsomely," Pekka bargained.

Just by looking at him, Y/n knew that if she said 'no,' he was bound to put a bullet in the side of her head. Therefore, she was left with no choice but to join his side. She went to work for him at the Emerald Palace, serving as his personal attendant.

On that particular evening, Y/n was dressed in the finest lace and silk that the barrel had to offer. Her corset made it extremely difficult to breathe in, much less move around in. She brought another drink to Pekka as per request.

"Thank you, my love." Pekka said while laying a hand on the small part of her back. She wanted to wiggle out of his grasp, but stayed where she was as to not upset him further.

One of the bouncers came into view, stating that someone was there to see the boss. With some hesitation, Pekka Rollins rose to his feet and placed his glass of alcohol down. He dismissed himself from the group.

In the main entrance, Kaz Brekker was laying on the soft red floor. It looked like he had been in a fight as his hair was in disarray and there was sweat on his brow. Behind him, Nina Zenik stood with her hands held in a certain position. She could feel his beating heart.

"No match for a heartrender, are you, Brekker?" Pekka looked most pleased. "A real boss knows how to inspire loyalty in his people. Isn't that right boys?" Pekka glanced to his men.

"That's right," the other members of the gang agreed with him.

"Good job, lass. I've got it from here," Pekka gestured to Nina. His men were quick to pull their guns on her, which brought a tone of surprise.

"Move those hands and you lose them," one of them said. They knew what kind of power she could manipulate. They needed to keep her accountable. She raised her hands in defeat.

"I'm gonna make you regret the day that you crossed me," Pekka said to Brekker. He began to take off his jacket, rolling up the sleeves of his white button up shirt.

In the background, Y/n had pushed her way through the crowd of men. Her gaze landed on the familiar figure laying on the floor. She raised her hands to her mouth in hopes of covering the gasp she left out. He lifted his head and looked directly at her.

"Get him on his feet," Pekka demanded.

"Wait!" Y/n exclaimed from the side. She took a single step forward.

Just as Kaz was hauled to his feet by two men, Y/n had also been held back by another two members. She thrashed against their tight grip on her arms, desperately seeking to be released. She couldn't stand to watch this play out.

"You told me..." Pekka redirected his attention to his personal attendant. He strode towards her slowly. "That you were just a waitress for him," Pekka said.

He knew the weight of his words. He had always wondered if there was something unspoken happened between the two. This could easily be used against Brekker.

"Nothing more," Pekka glanced back to Kaz. "That's what you said, isn't that right?"

She couldn't deny it, so she chose to say nothing instead. She hung her head low, not wanting to even look at Kaz in fear of seeing the hurt in his eyes.

And her words (though not spoken in that moment) did hurt him. They both knew that she was much more than just a waitress for him. She was more than just another one of his investments. She had done more for him than just healing his wounds. Because she had also managed to somehow heal his heart which ached from the pain of his past.

"He'll never be able to offer you anything. Nothing worthwhile at least," Pekka continued. He went to approach the young teenage boy. "He is nothing more than a lowlife who feeds off the dirt from the ground," Pekka spat in his face.

"You're wrong," Y/n said with a slight quiver in her voice. Pekka turned to her once more. "He is more of a man than you will ever be, you witless worm."

A few people left out a gasp of surprise upon hearing this. Now Pekka's blood was really boiling to the point where his face had turned beat red. It could have been from utter embarrassment or it could have been from pure anger.

Without another word, Pekka Rollins went to approach the girl he had taken under his wing. He stopped to stand right in front of her. In a flash, the back of his hand had met the side of her cheek. Her head whipped to the side from the slap and she winced from the stinging pain she felt in her cheek.

In that exact moment, Kaz wanted nothing more than to bash Pekka's head in for what he had done. But he could only watch as Pekka gripped her face with a single hand. He squeezed hard and forced her to look directly at him.

"You do well to remember who you belong to," Pekka growled.

"Go to hell."

In response, Pekka released his tight grip on her face. She could now feel the distinct taste of copper lingering in her mouth. She also did not know that there was a small cut on her cheek from where his ring had come in contact with her.

"I'll deal with you later," Pekka pointed to her threateningly. He turned back to his old rival. "Right now, I need to make an example out of this rat."

"You'll pay for this, you double-dealing witch!" Kaz finally spoke to Nina with venom in his voice.

Without warning, Pekka delivered a swift punch to Kaz's stomach. He doubled over from the searing pain, kneeling on the ground. He couched in attempts to catch his breath.

Reaching down, Pekka grabbed a fist full of Kaz's disheveled hair. He forced him to look upwards in which he could now see the line of blood trailing over his mouth.

"After I beat you, I'm gonna hand your body on a post as a reminder to anyone who forgets that I'm king of this city." Pekka claimed.

"Do your worst," Kaz challenged.

Another punch was brought down onto Kaz's face which sent him to the ground once more. He swiftly kicked his stomach many times over. Each time being more painful than the last. Kaz kept his eyes squeezed shut as if to try to manage the pain.

On the side, Y/n wanted to rush over and kneel beside him. She'd gingerly lay her fingers over his aches and pains in attempts of bringing him some sense of comfort. She needed to heal him. And she didn't know how much more he could take.

With one final blow to the side of the head, Kaz fell unconscious to the ground. His blood trailed down the length of his face, staining his skin. He blinked a couple times as he was brought back to a painful reality. He could hear the sirens now.

One of Pekka's men had come to inform him about the sirens, which initiated a quiet conversation between the two of them. He announced the return of the firepox. But all the places that had been reported to have been hit where nowhere near each other.

"There will be outbreaks at all of your establishments," Kaz said as he found the strength to stand to his feet. "And only yours," Kaz breathed heavily.

For a moment, Y/n was very confused. She furrowed her eyebrows as if trying to make sense of what he was claiming. She wondered. What are you up to, Kaz Brekker?

"The path of contagion will be clear. A ship in your harbor spread the disease to your clubs," Kaz explained.

"What did you do, boy?" Pekka wondered.

From earlier, Nina could remember the conversation she had with Kaz. How Kaz was going to pay to keep Matthias out of the fights in Hellgate. But Nina needed to do something for him first and she needed to make it look real.

"There is nothing an island nation fears more than disease," Kaz told Pekka. "The Merchant Council's going to want a proper investigation."

Meanwhile, Pekka was loading one of his handguns. He slipped another bullet into the barrel. He cocked it in his hand.

"You've got my attention," Pekka confessed. "But you're not worth the time it'll take to put a bullet in your head."

"Fifth harbor is shut down. Your businesses are tainted," Kaz continued.

Unbeknownst the the others, Jesper had slipped through the doors wearing a glorious red and golden cape. He managed to slip through the heavy crowds with the intent of listening in on the conversation.

"My businesses will be fine," Pekka raised his gun to Kaz's head. "But you?" Pekka began.

"I'd reconsider," Kaz interjected. "If you want to see your Kaelish prince again."

"What are you gonna do? You gonna blow it up again?" Pekka wanted to chuckle. "You need to learn some new tricks."

"Your other Kaelish prince," Kaz emphasized. "Fond of sweets. Blond hair."

Now Pekka had shifted from one foot to the other. He tried not to show any signs of weakness, suddenly realizing who he was talking about.

"Alby," Kaz seethed.

"I'll kill everything you love, Brekker." Pekka promised. He half expected him to look over at her in the corner. But Kaz kept his gaze locked on Pekka.

"The trick is not to love anything," Kaz claimed. Naturally, Y/n could only feel her heart plummet into the deep confines of her chest. She sniffled her tears away. Maybe she was just another waitress to him. "Your mistake was that you let someone get in. Someone you'd sacrifice everything for and it makes you weak," Kaz spat.

"Then I'll just kill you," Pekka tried.

"Do that," Kaz encouraged. "And you'll never find your son in time."

"What did you do?" Pekka looked horrified.

"I buried him. Six feet deep," Kaz spoke heavily.

"He went into that box so easily. Didn't even cry," Kaz pulled a small wooden train out of his pocket. "Until I took this from him."

"Where's my son?" Pekka demanded.

"Make smart choices. And you might just reach him before the air runs out," Kaz explained.

"You trifling piece of barrel trash," Pekka growled. "What the hell do you want?"

"I want you to remember," Kaz stated firmly. The images of his dead brother flashed through his mind.

"Remember what?" Pekka wondered.

"A con you ran on two farm boys. Orphans," Kaz explained. "A promise to replace the family that they'd lost. And then you duped them out of everything. They ended up on the streets and they both died. But one of us was reborn," Kaz finished.

Despite the description, Pekka Rollins tried racking through his mind. He recalled every single job that he tried to pull off, specifically singling in on the ones that had gone wrong. But his mind came up blank.

"Too many pigeons to remember? Let me help you. Jakob Hertzoon," Kaz spoke.

"That was a long time ago," Pekka said slowly. He hear nothing in response. "So that's what this is all about? Why you look at me with murder in those shark's eyes of yours?" He scoffed.

In the background, Jesper began to make his way to the backside of the men who were holding Y/n captive. He remembered the plan that Kaz had laid out. He brought his hands to the handles of his pearly pistols, preparing himself for the worst.

"You were just two pigeons who I just happened to have plucked. And if it hadn't been me, it would've been somebody else." Pekka insisted.

"Bad luck for Alby that it was you," Kaz spoke loudly.

Upon hearing this, Pekka seized for Kaz's collar. He slammed his body against a nearby pillar, keeping one hand firmly on his chest. He pressed the barrel of his gun into the side of his neck as if to threaten him. But Kaz only smirked at him.

"You...you tell me where to find me son!" Pekka demanded.

"It's a simple trade, Rollins. Speak my brother's name and your son lives," Kaz explained.

In utter defeat, Pekka stumbled backwards in his place. He locked his jaw in place, feeling his teeth gritting together painfully. He clenched his fists at his sides. He was seething with anger and frustration.

"How about another hint?" Kaz pushed himself off the wall. "You called your daughter Saskia. She wore red ribbons in her hair," Kaz described.

At that moment, Pekka began to mutter under his breath. He was desperately trying to remember the name off the top of his head. He raised his hand to point at him.

"Okay. T-two boys from Liji," Pekka recalled. But this wasn't exactly what he wanted.

"Yeah," Kaz confirmed.

"You had a piddling little fortune. Your brother fancied himself as a trader. Wanted to get rich quick like every other nub who steps foot in the barrel," Pekka said.

"I want you to say his name," Kaz growled.

The room had fallen silent. The older man's heart began beating faster and faster as the desperation quickly began to settle in. He couldn't stand still, shifting from one foot to the other. He mumbled a few names under his breath, but they weren't the ones he was looking for.

"Come on!"

"I don't remember his name! I just want my son. He's all I have," Pekka claimed. He took a step forward. "I'll give you whatever you want, Brekker."

Now, Kaz's gaze shifted to the one who was once and now who claimed to be 'just a waitress' for him. Those were the exact words he needed to hear to get her back. He felt a heavy weight lift off his chest.

"I'm begging you," Pekka drew him back to reality.

"Are you?" Kaz wondered curiously.

With some hesitation, Pekka Rollins had found himself lowering to the ground on his knees. He hung his head low to hide his shame. The other members of the Dime Lions glanced at one another. They didn't really know what to think of the situation.

"First, you will return what is rightfully mine," Kaz hissed.

The sound of two guns clicking could be heard in the background. When the men turned their heads to look over their shoulder, Jesper was standing there pointing his guns at them threateningly. He motioned for them to release her.

Rather roughly, Y/n was released by the two men and pushed forward in her place. She stumbled from the force, landing on the floor in a heap. She groaned to herself.

Recognizing that she was now safe, Kaz proceeded to pull two pieces of paper out of his coat pocket. He held them up for the whole crowd to see. He explained what they were.

"A confession for the murders of Tante Heleen and Constable Sem. And a quitclaim deed for Inej Ghafa," Kaz dropped the papers to the ground. He made a pen appear in his hands. "Sign both if you want to find your son alive," Kaz further explained.

On his knees, Pekka Rollins did not hesitate to take hold of the golden pen and papers. He signed his name on both of them before handing them back. He had been bested.

Slowly, Pekka rose to his feet. He hated how this whole ordeal had gone down, how he had been humiliated in front of his men, and how he had been called out for being weak. But he did everything that he had been asked to do for the sake and safety of his only son.

"Where's my son?" Pekka wondered humbly. His voice sounded tired.

"Black Veil Cemetery," Kaz answered. He spared a glance to the room full of men surrounding them. "You'll need all your men digging to find him in time," Kaz claimed.

Without a moment to spare, Pekka Rollins was the first one to leave with all of his men following behind him. The only people left were Kaz, Nina, Jesper, and Y/n. As soon as those doors closed behind the men, Kaz finally caved in.

In a split second, Kaz had rushed to be at her side. He knelt down in front of her, ignoring the aching pain he felt in his right leg. He gripped her arms tightly, shaking her a little.

"Are you alright?" Kaz demanded an answer.

"Kaz..." Y/n said breathlessly.

"Are you alright?!" Kaz said a little louder. He shook her until a few strands of hair had fallen in front of her eyes. He could see the evident tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She shook her head in response.

Now Kaz had pulled her forward into a bone crushing hug. He could feel her shoulders shaking as she sobbed into his shoulder, clinging to him so desperately. He closed his eyes to relish the feeling of her being in his arms once again. He brought his hand to the back of her hair, brushing down her hair in attempts of calming her down.

"My darling..." Kaz whispered into her ear. "You're safe now. I've got you."

For the first time, Kaz had turned his head to press his lips against her temple. He whispered her name over and over again to bring her some sense of comfort. Her eyes grew heavily and she melted in his grasp. He rocked the two of them back and forth in a soothing manner.

His arms remained around her for comfort. He even managed to carry her back to the Slat, though it pained his leg badly. He laid her down in his bed and brought a blanket to drape over her body. He stayed with her all throughout the night.

Earlier, Kaz had lied blankly to Pekka's face. Though it was a trick to not love anyone, Kaz had failed miserably at that task. Because he had fallen in love with the person who managed to heal his heart.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker oneshot #kaz brekker request #kaz brekker series #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows

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kazbiter · 1 year

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the most underrated act of love in six of crows is that scene where kaz gives up everything he has fought and clawed tooth and god damn nail for, literally every bit of money and assets he has, describing it as "every ill-gotten cent", to buy off inej's contract and give her freedom. not because of the monetary value but because of what that accumulation meant to kaz. he had literally built every square ounce of his money and power and holdings for the expressed purpose of getting back at pekka rollins since he was NINE YEARS OLD and it did not come cheap. he tells us that chapter before that he's taken "knives, bullets, and too many punches to count, all for a little piece of [Ketterdam]" he tells us that this is the city he bled for. and he gives every last inch of it up for inej to be free. kaz chooses inej's life over the years of his that he had poured into his revenge plan not even so that they can be together, but so inej has the freedom to LEAVE. chapter 26 of crooked kingdom my beloved. kaz brekker my beloved. I have never seen another act of love quite like that.

#i cannot overstate how much I think about this act #inej ghafa #kaz x inej #kanej #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #kaz brekker

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auroravictorium · 1 year

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would've, could've, should've (k.b.)

if i never blushed then they could've never whispered about this.

Summary: kaz blames himself for reader's kidnapping, and reader fights back as best she can.

Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: ~3.9k Warnings: heavy violence (kicking, punching, gun is mentioned but not used), mentions of blood, reader is repeatedly knocked out via ether Genre: angst + action

Author's Note: not as much kaz in this one, but fret not! he appears more in the next piece, which is already in the works and should be up in the next few days! i hope you all enjoy!

grishaverse masterlist

(GIF from capinejghafa)

The leatherbound volume slammed against the creaky door of Kaz's office the moment Inej shut it behind her. Splinters rained down onto the floor, and he glared at the mess.

His gloves were tight against his knuckles, where he gripped his cane, and his chest heaved with fury. Raw anger coursed through him; for once, he could not feel the slime of a corpse against his skin. Instead, rage had set his flesh alight, burning away the feeling of death. The harbor was absent, recoiling in favor of the temper he fought hard to keep in check as much as he could in the Barrel.

Kaz reached for his jar of ink and threw it as hard as he could against the door. But the sight of ink and glass spraying across his office did little to ease his anger or the panic rising in his chest.

He hunched over his desk, his gloved palms pressing flat against the surface. His breathing was too fast, his shoulders trembling as his mind wandered. Pekka Rollins hired mercenaries to take you. They were taking you south. Who knows what they had planned? Who knows what resources they had at their disposal?

Who knows if a few hours ago would be the last time he ever saw you, and it was tinged by his inability to choke out how he felt? Before you left, you'd squeezed his hand and murmured three simple words.

I love you.

It was funny how three words from your lips made him feel like he wasn't Kaz Brekker, like he didn't regularly hurt people or steal or threaten violence against those who got too close to his business for comfort. With just three words, you made him feel like maybe some part of him could be Kaz Rietveld still.

And he didn't fucking say those words back, though his throat burned and his mouth opened and:

"No mourners," he said instead.

"No funerals," you responded, with no idea how much he wanted to tell you he loved you back. No clue of how the words sat on the tip of his tongue, tasting like the fruit his father pretended he didn't see Kaz and Jordie swiping from the harvest. Tasting like a part of him he thought had drowned, a part that you pulled to shore and put air back into.

He didn't fucking say it. He should've said it.

Kaz squeezed his eyes shut. He could hear you in his mind: Breathe. Think.

He couldn't think, and there wasn't enough oxygen in the room for his lungs. All he could think about was you, at the mercy of some mercenaries who probably didn't give a damn that he was Kaz Brekker and could gut them without blinking.

Kaz slammed his palms against his desk hard enough that his skin stung beneath his gloves. He grabbed his cane from where it fell and limped around his desk and past the mess of his office. His door trembled on its hinges as he ripped it open and stormed past; he moved over to the crumbling stairs and brought the blunt end of his cane down on a step he knew was particularly creaky.

The entire staircase rattled, and Kaz heard the quiet shuffling of feet as Inej, Jesper, Nina, Wylan, and even Matthias started coming up the stairs. They stopped on the landing when they saw Kaz, shadows cast across his face by a dim oil lamp in the corner and icy eyes darkened by anger, turned the color of the True Sea.

"Mercenaries, you said?" Kaz said quietly, gaze flickering to Inej. "Hired by Pekka Rollins."

Inej nodded, reigniting his fury. But not at her, nor at Jesper. Being angry with them had never crossed his mind, though he saw their haunted faces as they sized him up and tried to figure out how much he blamed them for Y/N's situation.

Kaz clenched his jaw and turned on his heel. "Meeting. Now." He stormed back toward his office and kicked the inky glass shards out of his way as he entered his office. They skidded across the floor, some disappearing beneath furniture, others twirling until their sharpest edges pointed upward.

The Crows piled into Kaz's office. Jesper leaned against the wall with Wylan, ducking his head and looking down at his hands. The hands that, just an hour ago, had shot at mercenaries in an attempt to protect his friend. The hands that failed him. Wylan slipped his hand into one of Jesper's and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Nina sat in the chair across from Kaz's, and Matthias stood within reach. His eyes tracked Kaz as he moved from his desk to the smudged window and back. For once, Matthias could guess what the demjin was thinking, could see it on his face. Kaz was angry, yes, but Matthias could read the terror written beneath from the grip on his cane to the ticking of his jaw.

He found himself sympathetic toward Kaz, and Matthias didn't often feel anything but mild vexation toward the man. As he glanced down at Nina, nervously tracing the shape of her thumbnail with her fingertips, he understood Kaz's fury; if someone took Nina, he would respond the same way. And Kaz would be the first person he'd call to get her back.

"Where do we start?" Inej said quietly, positioning herself at the window and glancing at the street below. She twirled one of her knives across her knuckles, unable to keep her hands still.

"Describe the mercenaries," Kaz finally said. He clenched his fist around the crow's head of his cane as he sat to take the pressure off his leg. It was difficult to sit down; he wanted to be on the streets, burning the city to ashes to find you. But he would be of no use to you if he didn't have a plan and his leg went out beneath him. Think, Brekker. "Then we make a plan, and we get Y/N back."

SIX HOURS LATER. NOON.

You awoke to the feeling of a carriage rattling along an uneven gravel road. The back of your head thumped against the carriage window, and your skull ached from the repeated impact against the blacked-out glass. Air seared against your nose and throat with every breath you took, and it was a struggle to open your eyes with the heaviness weighing them down.

Two of your captors sat across from you, their masks on and eyes on you. One held a stained rag and a brown bottle in one hand, and the other pressed a gun to your forehead. Out of instinct, your fingers twitched to disarm him, but you quickly found that your hands were tied behind your back with sailing rope, and your ankles were bound with the same material. The rope chafed against the skin of your wrists and ankles, and it took every ounce of your self-control to not show your fear or pain.

"Now, don't make any sudden moves," the man with the gun said calmly. His voice was thick with an accent. He clearly wasn't from Kerch; you guessed he was a sailor by training and a mercenary by choice, if the rope around your limbs was any evidence.

You sized him up and considered your immediate instinct to spit in his face. He wouldn't shoot you in close quarters and, if your suspicions were correct, wouldn't dare injure you without a particular gang leader's go-ahead. You didn't have many options, and anything seemed more appealing than sitting there with a gun against your temple.

A wad of spit went straight into his eye, and you swung your legs upward toward his head to jerk yourself into a sitting position. It lacked decorum and grace, but you didn't have much room to move. Unfortunately, your feet only struck the man's shoulder, making him hiss and lower his gun. He shoved your legs off him, and you teetered on the edge of the bench opposite your captors.

Son of a bitch, you thought. You would've said it aloud had it not been for the man with the bottle opening his cargo and dunking the liquid inside onto the rag in his hand. The sickly sweet smell from earlier struck your nostrils, and you immediately shut your mouth. Your lungs burned as you held your breath, but you refused to pass out again.

When I get my hands free, I'm gutting you and using you as fish bait. You wiggled around to cause as much mayhem as possible, hoping to distract from the jerking of your shoulders as you fought against your bindings. You brought your feet down on the bottle man's boots, making him grimace and nearly drop the toxin. "She's a fighter, ain't she?" he snarled. "Open her mouth."

The first man lurched toward you, dropping his gun into his lap and grabbing your face with his hands. You writhed, jerking your head to the side to free it as you locked your jaw shut as tight as possible. Your teeth ground together, and black spots danced around your vision from the beginnings of a lack of oxygen. You could either breathe in the toxin that knocked you out or pass out of your own volition; both choices led to you being no closer to escaping.

Save your energy. You didn't want to give in. You didn't want to see your friends' faces swimming in your mind, warped and twisted by whatever your captors were poisoning you with.

You had no choice.

You let the man think he had successfully pried your mouth open, and you bit down hard on the flesh between his thumb and forefinger. He roared, jerking his hand back and cursing in Ravkan. His blood filled your mouth, and you gagged on the bitter taste, spluttering to get it off your tongue. It dribbled down your face, onto your clothes.

"Touch me again, and you'll lose the hand," you hissed. You spat at the first man again, and red speckled across his face like grotesque freckles.

With a fierce glare at your captors, you inhaled deeply. The relief of your lungs expanding was quickly counteracted by the weight of the toxin pulling you down, and you collapsed back onto the seat of the carriage, your head colliding with a sickening crack against the door handle.

SIX HOURS LATER. DUSK.

The next time you opened your eyes, you were in a dark cell. The rope had been removed from your limbs, but the skin burned from chafing. A searing pain threatened to split your skull in half, and you could hardly turn your head to take in your surroundings.

As your eyes adjusted, you could see a single oil lamp in the corner, unlit and covered in dust. Beside that was a bucket filled with water; you could tell the water wasn't clean from the horrid smell wafting toward you, and you held back a gag. Gingerly, you sat up from the makeshift pallet of ragged blankets you'd been set on.

Bad idea. Immediately, the world swam before you, and a violent wave of nausea overtook you. You swallowed the bile rising in your throat and carefully laid back down to ease the throbbing discomfort in your skull. You pressed a hand to the back of your head, and it came away slick and red. Shit. How were you supposed to fight your way out of here if you couldn't even sit up without the world doing flips?

A metallic clang echoed down the hall, and you turned your head toward the sound. Pain shot down your neck and spine, and you could barely suppress your hiss of pain; your pain was forgotten as a pair of boots stomped into view. You lifted your gaze to find none other than bottle-guy, looking unhappy to have found you awake. He wore no mask this time, and you took the chance to scan his face and memorize every detail so you could describe him if you made a ran for it. Smeared with dirt and grime. Dirty hair of unknown color. He looked like just about every sailor you'd ever met.

He grimaced at you like you were the problem, and you glared back at him. "I was hopin' you'd die in your sleep," he said matter-of-factly. His eyes, dark as night, skimmed your form, and disgust crossed his face. "I can't figure out why we were hired to deal with ya."

"You don't seem to be the brightest bunch," you shot back. You pushed yourself onto your elbows and surveyed your captor with just as much distaste. With some satisfaction, you noted some of his buddy's blood had stained the hem of his trousers after you spat it. "You'll be lucky if Pekka Rollins doesn't have your head after you're done with me, just to cover his tracks."

Your captor barked a laugh. "I'd like to see him try, sweetheart." He drummed his knuckles against the metal bars of your cell, and his eyes roamed over you again. A predatory glint shone in them, and his hand dropped to the ring of keys on his belt. "Now, what makes you special enough that he's willing to hire us instead of doing the dirty work himself?"

He unlocked the door to your cell and stepped inside. You kicked yourself into a sitting position and shoved yourself back against the wall. The world did somersaults, and you fought hard to keep from collapsing again as the blood rushed from your head and black spots danced in your vision.

The man crouched before you and reached out as if he intended to stroke a finger down your cheek. You shoved his hand away and nearly lost your balance. "Don't touch me," you snarled.

He just laughed again. "Feisty, aren't you?" He reached out again, and you kicked your leg up as hard as possible between his legs. He grunted and dropped his hand, slumping to his knees.

Taking the opportunity, you pushed yourself forward enough to swing your fist toward his face. With terrible vertigo and the feeling like you were about to collapse into a useless heap, you were pleased when your hand collided with his nose with a satisfying crunch. Blood sprayed across your knuckles and down his face, and he reeled back with a shout of surprise.

"You bitch!" he growled, bringing his hand to his face and glowering at you over his fingers. He lurched forward like he might strike or strangle you, and you kicked out again with much less force than the first time. Your strength was waning, and he knew it. He caught your ankle and pushed your leg away with ease. But before he could get any closer, a hand grabbed the collar of his jacket and hauled him back.

"Now, Sergei, don't antagonize our guest," a new voice said. His voice was quiet and thick with a Fjerdan accent. You looked up while blinking away the blurriness in your gaze and found a third man who hadn't been in the carriage with you. Judging by the ease with which Sergei obeyed him, you knew he was in charge. He reeked of authority and pride.

"What, want the chance to do it yourself?" you snapped. Though he pulled Sergei away before he could bash your head into the wall, you didn't appreciate the man looking down at you like he'd done you a favor. You couldn't help but bristle as his eyes roamed your body, and you would've curled up to cover yourself if you could will your body to move. "I didn't think mercenaries went so low as to kick someone while they're down, especially when they intend to hand them over to someone else."

He wasn't as tolerant of your spite as Sergei was. Without releasing Sergei, he brought his foot down on your knee. The joint seared beneath his weight; your kneecap threatened to shatter, and the tendons nearly snapped as he pressed down until it almost bent in the wrong direction. You cried out, your head falling back against the stone wall. The impact agitated the gash on the back of your head, and you could feel blood soaking your scalp. It seeped down the back of your neck, and a soft groan of pain slipped past your lips.

"It might be wise for you to consider that we can do what we wish to you until Pekka Rollins arrives," he hissed. He dropped Sergei, who gingerly got to his feet with a smirk playing on his lips. If you could, you'd shoot them both to see if they would still be smirking. "I suggest keeping your mouth shut and your limbs to yourself."

A haze of pain clouded your vision, the adrenaline of inflicting some revenge on one of your captors dissipating. You forced yourself to nod, hoping he'd take his weight off your knee before your traitorous tears of agony could fall. You blinked them away, and a trembling sigh escaped you as the Fjerdan stepped back and off your knee. Immediately, you pressed a hand to the tender flesh and whimpered as a sharp ache shot up and down your leg.

Definitely bruised, and the kneecap might be broken. How the hell am I supposed to get out of here like this?

He left without another word, taking Sergei with him. As he passed, Sergei grinned through the bars at you, his teeth glimmering like a monster's, and offered a taunting wiggle of his fingers. You dropped your gaze to the ground and your outstretched legs before you, one swollen and the other scraped from who knows what.

You heard Sergei laugh as he moved down the hall after the Fjerdan leader, and the sound rang in your ears long after he was gone. Mocking, gleeful, haunting.

Tears slid down your cheeks without your permission, and you impatiently wiped them away. There's no time to cry. You thought of Jesper and Inej, who had definitely told Kaz about your disappearance by now. If you thought of them and how strong they were under pressure, maybe you wouldn't think about the searing pain in your body. If you thought of Matthias, damn near unbreakable, perhaps you could channel his strength. Nina, her bravery and wit, no matter the situation.

Your friends, your family, who had to be trying to find you.

Your thoughts drifted to Kaz. His scheming face. His smirk. His fingers laced with yours. The fierceness in his eyes. How he looked at you before you left, with glimmering eyes and hair falling into his face from running his fingers through it too many times. Kaz had looked at you like there were a million things he wanted to say, to do. A rare moment of softness that made your heart ache as you considered where you were now.

Somehow, you managed to slip into an uneasy sleep. You dreamt of men with masks and blood seeping from your mouth as you inhaled the sickly sweet toxin they kept giving you. Behind the masks, they laughed and laughed, even as you began to choke. It was impossible to break from the nightmare; something held you down, kept your eyes shut.

Finally waking was a mercy, though you should have feared whatever awaited you once you awoke. Blinking slowly and fighting against lingering fatigue, you noticed two bowls of thin broth had been shoved into your cell. The scent had long faded, and dust floated in a thin layer on top.

How long had it been since you were last awake?

You forced yourself into a sitting position, ignoring the aching of your muscles, and you investigated your injuries. Your knee was severely bruised and couldn't bear the weight of even your fingertips on the skin, and dried blood crusted your scalp and the back of your neck.

Eat, you thought. You needed to regain some of your strength if you stood a chance at surviving whatever Pekka Rollins had planned for when he arrived. Even better, perhaps you could escape before surviving him was necessary.

You dragged yourself across the stone floor toward the bowls of broth. It felt like your muscles hadn't been used in days, and your right knee dragged painfully against the ground as you crawled to the bars. When you made it, your breathing was ragged, and your face was coated with a thin layer of sweat. It was a struggle to focus on one of the bowls of broth as each throb of your head rattled your vision; you nearly knocked a bowl over but caught it with trembling, clumsy fingers.

What the fuck are they giving me? How have I been weakened so quickly?

You propped yourself up on one arm and used the other to lift a bowl to your lips. The broth felt like acid on your dry mouth, but you forced it down. It tasted like nothing, and you wondered if you would've been better off taking your chances with not eating it.

No. Eat.

You finished the bowl of broth and reached for the second. Already, some moisture had returned to your mouth. Your mind was less muddled, the fog in your brain cleared by the sensation of something other than the toxin passing your lips. Before you could start sipping the second bowl, you heard boots scraping down the hallway.

Your head snapped up, and you grabbed the two bowls, stacking them and then scrambling backward using your legs and free hand until your back hit the wall. Keep nothing behind me and my eyes ahead. The skin of your fingers whitened as your grip on the bowls grew tighter, and you waited for your visitor to arrive.

For a moment, you couldn't see who it was. A gas lamp shone brightly outside the bars, and you turned your head. Spots twirled in your vision, and you blinked them away. When you opened your eyes, you immediately wished you hadn't. Your second wish was that you had a gun. Your third was that the man before you hadn't been born in the first place.

Pekka Rollins stood outside your cell in a perfectly tailored suit, untouched by blood or dirt. In your state, covered in dirty and torn clothing, you could have felt like nothing more than a bug beneath his glare.

That was what he wanted, and you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing you crumble.

Instead, you lifted your chin and the full bowl of broth. Feigning bringing it to your lips, you kept your eyes defiantly on him as you took one slow sip. Pekka Rollins just watched with a note of amusement in his eyes. He was too happy to see you before him like this.

His smugness was the match needed to light your anger, and you were all too happy to be ignited.

You launched the bowl across the cell and watched as watered-down broth soaked the front of his suit and slivers of porcelain sprayed into the hallway and onto the floor of your cell.

You only hoped you would get the chance to do worse.

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aysegust · 20 days

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MORE THAN A HEALER. - K.B

Pairings: (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

A/N: Hello beautiful people, I hope you’ll like this part. I kinda feel doubt writing this… I wanted to show as much of Kaz’s vulnerable side. Which was ultimately is Y/N… I kinda mess up with the storyline of the canon but who cares? We are doing what we want. It’s a fanfic! I ended things openly so maybe I’ll write a third part but I don’t think so here is the final part of Just A Healer fiction.

Word Count: 3.279

Warnings: Slight abuse but nothing further, mention of Wylan as subtle. :) Angst but Fluff in the end.

You can read the first part here: Just A Healer. - K.B

It all happened too fast, so quick.

One thing you knew was how ugly Pekka’s face at the moonlight the next thing you knew was the pain behind your back.

Suddenly, the loss of vision and consciousness was just beginning of something disgusting.

It all happened too fast, Y/N.

Slowly, when your eyes opened, you looked around. Your vision was still blurry at first but after few seconds your eyes adjusted to the light.

The place surrounded in a dim light whereas it was cold and concentrated. But where were you? You thought to yourself. The place looked like it was a dungeon and the window was barely just there. It was so small that you couldn’t see outside that much.

You closed your eyes for a moment. Trying to memorize every detail about why you were here and what happened.

“Shit.” You cursed bitterly. Pekka found you were a Grisha and wanted to hurt Kaz so you were kidnapped and yet the worst part is… Pekka Rollins isn’t going to be the one who kills you, it will be Kirigan. That son of a bitch. You thought.

You touched to your neck and healed the wound. Well, it was a benefit for you to be a healer, you could heal yourself quickly. You got up after the dizziness was over. You looked around and there wasn’t any useful for you to protect yourself from. There were only straws on the ground.

You sighed and the looming feeling hit you again. Just like before. What if Kaz wouldn’t find you? What if he thinks you betrayed him too?

But he was a clever man, he would investigate this. Your thoughts went on and on again. Not before you got cut by Kirigan’s shadow… As the thought crossed your mind, you heard a sound. Footsteps.

Suddenly the door opened and you saw Pekka’s guys. You could handle the two of them in a combat fight but there were coming three more.

One of the guy smirked devilishly to you. “Don’t be naughty, you witch.” He said harshly. You wanted to punch his nose but you were outnumbered. Quickly that guy handcuffed you and put a chain on your handcuff. He was leading you forcefully to walk behind him.

As you unfortunately, forcefully walked behind him, you looked around. Observing the place and the Dime Lions. It was cruel, walking straight to your death.

But you had to put your shit together. You weren’t going to give up so easily. You will gonna escape that place, you just needed the right moment.

As you went outside through the doors, you looked at the Harbor. Either you were going to face Kirigan or he was coming for you.

As you saw six guy in the corner of the deck, you then looked at the three guy on the ship. Well, it wasn’t going to be easy. Hell, when things were easy?

You closed your eyes for a moment. Walk through the fire, Y/N. You thought to yourself, trying to encourage yourself to make everything better, you opened your eyes and looked at the sky.

Maybe he was worried?

Was he?

Three hours passed, you were supposed to meet Kaz in his office. Well, he wanted to debrief you about the upcoming plan he was working on. He had already told Inej and Jesper but he wanted to talk to you about it alone.

Well, your presence calmed him. He wasn’t much of a man shows himself but around you, at least his thoughts were stable and he can feel himself relax a bit. Not only you were just a healer, but his healer too.

Of course, he thinks you are more than just a healer. Because you were gracious. Everything he wasn’t be and deeply inside, he admired it. The pasts of himself, his crows wasn’t bright.

If it were bright then none of you wouldn’t be in the Barrel.

You were a precious asset for the team and Kaz, well, he felt more than that but he was just too scared to admit it. How could he?

Feelings are just a burden. Caring only makes you weak and Kaz couldn’t be weak.

He is feared, the Dirtyhands. Bastard of the Barrel. The trick is the not love anything else. He always thought it. Whenever doing some paperwork or looking at building map’s, sometimes you crossed into his mind. Recently, the severe times of you crossing into his mind just rises and he felt, he felt uncomfortable but weirdly good.

So, three hours passed… where were you? Kaz. thought to himself. He got up from his chair and walked out from the door to heard the loud noise coming from the tables. He looked at the bar-side and no trace of you.

Then he saw Inej, the Wraith, entering to the Crow Club with worrying glances. Their eyes met briefly and Inej straightly walked to Kaz’s side.

Kaz felt uneasy but he didn’t show it. He just stood there monotony. “Kaz, we need to talk.” Inej said with a hurry. She looked really worried.

Kaz led her to his office and once the door’s closed, he turned to her and waited for her to speak.

“It’s about Y/N.”

Kaz never felt this fear before. The way his heart beaten so fast, it was cruel. It wasn’t fair. He looked at Inej as his eyebrows furrowed. “What happened?” He said curiously not showing Inej how he is feeling inside, that anxious feeling grows bigger every passing second.

“I was wandering around the Barrel, and catching up with some informations.” She paused to catch a breath. “There are rumors about a Grisha in the Barrel. A Healer.” She stared at Kaz for a moment. “Turns out Pekka Rollins, caught the Grisha and he is going to send the Grisha back to the Ravka. Through the Fold.”

Kaz closed his eyes for a moment. He needed it. Suppressing what Inej said was a hard truth. “It is Y/N. Pekka Rollins caught Y/N.” Inej said it with a pure worry. Her eyes flashed so wide and she feared of losing her dear friend.

Kaz’s whole life stopped at that minute. The man, who took his brother from him, is going to took his healer from him too. He couldn’t.

Kaz couldn’t let that happen. He waited to take his brother’s revenge. He couldn’t lose Y/N. He couldn’t.

He looked at Inej with anger range filling his eyes. “Find out where Pekka hides Y/N, if he’s going to send her to Ravka, they will be on the Harbor. So it must be close to that place.”

Inej nodded and walked hurriedly towards the door then she looked back at Kaz. “What are you gonna do?” She said softly. “I’m gonna make him suffer.” He replied coldly.

After Kaz came up with a plan, it wasn’t going to be easy but they had to save Y/N. So that’s what mattered. He tried to calm himself, he had to get his things together for your sake. But Kaz wanted revenge. He wanted blood.

As they pulled you over harshly and forced you to enter the ship, they threw you to the basement of the ship. As you whined in pain, you blinked rapidly and looked around. After you were pushed, you felt dizzy but you closed your eyes and pulled yourself together. You gotta do something.

There must be a way to get rid of these handcuffs, you thought. You got up and looked around. There were stocks of some oranges, cucumbers and other conserves.

After quietly searching the basement, you saw a dagger. It was placed closer to the fruits. You took it and tried to open the handcuff with it. It was hard, since you were handcuffed and trying to hold the dagger while working hard for opening the handcuff, you sweared.

Being a soldier and being one of Kaz’s crows helped you learn new skills. You were talented, strong. You weren’t weak. Most Grisha’s in Ravka prejudiced healers. They thought they were weak whilst they had several powerful gifts. But you never saw your gift as a weakness. It was your biggest strength.

After putting a work on it, you unlocked the cuffs and brushed your palms lightly. You took the dagger and closed your eyes for a moment. Your heart raced so fast, you had to collect your thoughts.

You opened your eyes and walked slowly to the stairs. As you slowly opened the cover, you heard footsteps, so you closed it back and pulled yourself back. Then you heard a man’s voice. The guy was laughing and the next minute, he opened the basement’s door. He looked at you on top of it and smiled at you cockily.

Of course you sat back before he opened the cover, you acted like you were cuffed. He then slowly walked down the stairs and closed the cover. “Look at you, witch.” He smiled. “When I’m finished with you, you are gonna regret why you just didn’t kill yourself.” He smirked disgustingly and placed his hand on your chin harshly. He then, licked your cheek. You felt disgusted and you squeezed your eyes shut. “Oi, the thing’s I’m gonna do to you…” He whispered to your ear.

You slowly pulled the dagger and while he was kissing your neck, you stabbed him on his chest. Then he whined in pain and looked at you with shock. “When I’m finished with you, you’re going to regret why you, just didn’t kill yourself, you fucking bastard.” You whispered with anger. Then by the time he was about the react your words you broke his neck.

You got up and took a deep breath. There was eight of them left. You stayed still for a moment. It was all happening too fast, your mind was spinning and you just felt the fear mixed with disgust so badly.

Then as you hurriedly walked to the upstairs, you opened the cover but you heard a muffled sound. Something was odd. You slowly lifted your head and looked around.

As the Crows located where Y/N is, they went on their way, Inej was on the roofs, as ready as she’ll be, Jesper was very furious when he learned your kidnapping. Jesper and Kaz went to the Harbor and while they were hiding behind some of building, they saw you with handcuffs, as they forced you to walk to inside of the ship.

Kaz looked at the rooftop and tilted his head. Inej understood that the plan was on. The Wraith, as she landed on the ground, she hid so perfectly behind the shadows. Well, she was tiny but very strong. She hid behind some of cargo sacks. There was two man standing close to her, so Inej moved behind them silently and slit their throats ever so flawlessly.

There were three guys on the ship, while two of them were standing on the deck. One of the guy on the ship walked to the basement while there was two of them stayed present on the ship. As they were controlling the area.

It was Jesper’s turn. Now it was time to expose themselves. Jesper walked arrogantly on the ground. He looked at the two man. “It’s restricted area! Go away,” One of the guy, whose were standing on the deck warned Jesper as he was walking closer to them. “But would that be fun? Seriously?” He then hit the guy’s face with his gun.

As the other guy reacted to Jesper by pulling his own gun, Jesper grinned and fired his gun. “Never dare to held your gun to me again!” He lashed out and looked at the two guy on the ship. They were trying to hit Jesper with their guns but Jesper’s reactions was too fast.

Then he pulled his own pistol and as he is being the Sharpshooter, he never misses.

After Jesper’s killing the other two guy, Kaz walked to the deck and got on the board. As the basement’s door opened and revealed you to his eyes, your eyes met and he felt his heart skipped a beat. “Kaz?” You said surprisedly. He didn’t understand why you got surprised about seeing him.

You quickly pulled yourself and walked to his way. As you looked around, you saw the other men of Pekka’s bodies around the ship and the deck. “You came for me.” You looked at Kaz and felt tears brimmed in your eyes.

He furrowed his eyebrows. As he was about to say something, Jesper pulled you in a tight hug. Was he crying, what? You thought. “Jess, are you crying?” You smiled with tears. “You bloody idiot! Of course I am!” He pulled you closer to himself, suddenly you were out of breath. “Jesper! You are squeezing me-“

He let you go softly. “I’m sorry, Y/N. It’s just you know…” You smiled and squeezed his hand. While Kaz backed away, Inej hugged you softly. You could see the tears in Inej’s eyes. Which ached your heart.

“We have to go, there would be a mess.” As Kaz said, you and Inej let go of each other. You looked at Kaz. “What?” You asked. Kaz looked at you briefly. “This is just one thing, Pekka Rollins wouldn’t know what hit him.” He said with harsh tone.

“Kaz, what did you do?” You asked worriedly. He looked at you bitterly. “Something I should’ve done before.”

He didn’t reply anything further as all of you went back to the Slat. Well, while you were on the way back to the Slat, you watched Kaz. All of the way back… You just feel this thing inside you, where you couldn’t just pretend things anymore.

When you went back to the Slat, you heard a loud explosion coming from the streets. “What is happening?” You said it confusedly. Jesper glanced at you softly. “We are gonna be in a big fight, Y/N.” You looked at him as your eyebrows furrowed. “What?” You didn’t understand. “The boss, well, he just blew up The Dime Lions.” Jesper looked at you amusedly. You were in a utter shock as you heard what Jesper said.

And there was a boyish looking guy appeared as he was walking out on Kaz’s office. “Who is that?” You asked as you showed the boy who walked out on Kaz’s office. Jesper amusedly grinned. “He is the one who blew up the places.” You looked at Jesper with wide eyes. “Bloody hell..” You said.

After you left Jesper’s side, you walked hurriedly towards to Kaz’s office. You knocked the door and after a moment you opened it and saw Kaz was looking to the sky. “Can I come in?” You said softly.

He then turned to you and gestured you to step inside. “Kaz.. Did you blew up Pekka’s properties?” You looked at him worriedly which he was finding it uneasy. He was fighting himself everyday trying to keep you in a distance but after today, he just wanted everyone who wronged him, pay.

“I did.” You looked at him in a shock as he said it. For a second he refused to meet your gaze. You didn’t know what to say to him. You weren’t expecting him to save you up in the first place but he did. You approached slowly to his side. Careful to not bother him.

“Thank you, Kaz.” You were feeling this thing in your chest, whenever you see him, your heart beats faster. He was just so distant but after tonight, hearing what he did… maybe he cared for you.

“You are welcome.” He said quietly while he looked at you in a different way. But all you were wondering why he did all of this. You needed a clarification, an answer. What he did was a huge thing. “Why?” You said, nearly a whisper. He raised an eyebrow at your question. He knew what you were asking, he was just choose to ignore it.

But you insisted. “Kaz- Why did you did all of this? It’s a declaration of a war.” You were trying to reason with him. The question you wanted to really ask was hanging dry in your throat. He was watching the skyline of Ketterdam, there were noises. After the explosion, siren sounds and other’s faded in distance as you went on. “Why did you save me?”

The question you asked triggered something him in inside. He closed your eyes for a moment as he tried to collect his thoughts. “You are one of us.” He said straightly. “Crows are loyal to their fellows. One of them in the pack gets hurt, they will protect them.” You looked at him. Your eyebrows furrowed.

“While I was in that dungeon, the thoughts were going on and on in my mind…” You admitted softly. “I thought lot of things, primarily how to escape this place but something happened… and I thought-“ You paused. His eyes were on you at the whole time you were speaking. He was observing every little detail about you. Every little mimic, expression. His heart crushed when he saw tears in your eyes.

“I thought maybe, uh, you would think I betrayed you.” He looked at you with a furrowed expression. You didn’t look at him so you explained further. “You know, I betrayed my own country. I ran away from the King’s orders. I know you don’t trust me and I felt maybe you thought that way too after my disappearance.” You said it without catching a breath.

You were too scared to meet his gaze. “No.” It was hard for Kaz to open up his feelings. He had just shown the world that he cared for his crow. Which was a weak sign for the others. But he could’ve manage it. He could’ve make them suffer. Because he was feared. He declared a war against Pekka. But the way you said these things pissed Kaz.

Well he didn’t trust you for a long time. Of course, Kaz is a careful man. Man of mind and he is too cautious when he takes a move. But after seeing what you do, helping his crows and proving your loyalty at every time. of course Kaz trusted you.

“Y/N,” Kaz whispered. His voice sounded crispy. “I do trust you, more than you know.” You looked at him as a tear slipped away to your cheek. “I cannot offer you more but, never forget that you are valuable to the team…” He paused, struggling inside. Because once he admits to you, it would change everything.

“Valuable to me…” You smiled softly. You wouldn’t push him for anything. “Thank you, Kaz.” You said it again. “If we go to a war, we’ll go… I’ll always be there for you.” You said surely. What you were feeling Kaz was more than just companionship, you loved being near to him. It doesn’t matter how twisted he is and well, you loved him.

It was all you needed to hear. So you stepped away and approached to the door side. He turned and watched you to walk away. For once, don’t disappear. He thought. He looked at his gloves and closed his eyes momentarily. “Stay,” He said briefly. It sounded like a muffled sound but you heard anyway. You paused at your step and didn’t dare to look at his way.

“Stay here.” He said and then you turned to him. When you met his gaze, you felt the warmth inside your body. Who knew, in Kaz’s coldness, there was warmth.

#kaz brekker #shadow and bone #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker x reader #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x you #reader insert #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz rietveld #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker fanfic

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racerchix21 · 1 year

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Y’all are going to get to meet Shawnee’s best friend Reese tomorrow!! Shawnee was from the little drabble that I shared last night: You touched my ass guest starring Dean Ambrose 🖤

Now here’s a little snippet of Reese and Seth’s story:

“Baby? Hey Reese Cup I’m gonna go get the car real quick and then I’ll be back to get you, okay? Hang tight for a minute and I’ll be back,” Seth says quickly kissing Reese’s forehead then her cheek even as she grumbles at the nickname. She hates being called Reese Cup and Seth knows it which is why he continues to call her that.

#Seth calls her Reese Cup #He’s the only one allowed to though #anyone else gets punched in the nose #Sethie uses his prettiness to his advantage #original female character #Reese Matthews #Seth Rollins #Reese Matthews x Seth Rollins

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queenofspades6 · 1 year

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The Monster you wanted me to be - Kaz Brekker x reader

REQUEST: “i’ve been thinking of like a fic where reader is like not innocent but doesn’t like killing people and kaz tells her she needs to grow up or something so after some time she ends up being like super badass and just like batshit crazy and comes back from a mission just drenched in blood and kaz like reflects on what he’s created because he liked her but didn’t mean to turn her into this and they have a conversation.”

Warnings: Violence. Murder. Rape. Blood. Touch aversion.

Author’s Note: I loved the idea! Thank you for the request! I hope you liked it! It was so fun to write it! I may have added to much violence, and background for reader, I hope you don’t mind! Enjoy!!!

———

Kaz Brekker was the one who saved you. Usually, you didn’t tell people how you first meet Kaz Brekker, because who would believe you? When it happened, you were a young girl with no family left, no home, and no money. So when a man named Pekka Rollins found you begging for food in the street, and promised you a marvelous and wealthy future you couldn’t say no. You were not naive, but you had nothing left. It was going with Pekka Rollins or dying in the streets. What you didn’t know was that Rollins wanted you to be his prize, the beautiful girl he would sell for the highest bid. At the time you didn’t know...

Pekka Rollins brought you most of the time when he had to meet with investors, promising you to these men if they made a deal.

You didn’t know until that one evening Pekka had told you to dress well and show some skin. You had purposely worn a red gown with cleavage, firmly believing that Pekka wanted you to look beautiful to help him make a deal. And it did. You thought at least Pekka would respect you, but he didn’t.

You learned the hard truth after a promising deal, when he told you to go home with a huge, bearded man that had stared at you all night with desire. He told you to please the man, to be gentle if that was what the man wanted, that if he was to slap you, you would be still and accept it. You had frowned, and grimaced, telling him you wouldn’t do it, but he grinned at you.

“You will. You owe me money now, you can’t go. And if you ever do, I’ll find you, and you’ll regret saying me no.” He whispered into your ear.

A single tear had run down your cheek, he had licked it with his tongue, making you want to vomit.

“Don’t cry sweetheart, it will make him push harder, you don’t want that, don’t you?”He muttered, caressing your cheek.

***

You didn’t cry.

This night would always remain in your memory. It was probably the worse night you ever had. The man had beaten you until you were bleeding and had pushed into you without warning.

It hurt, you remembered. You hoped to fall unconscious, but your body betrayed you. You had screamed once while he pushed harder into your core, and then you stayed silent, and remained still. It was hopeless to scream, the man was loving it even more. He wanted you to cry, but you couldn’t let him win, so you repeated these words in your head until he was finished: ‘I can survive everything’. ‘I can survive everything’ ‘I can survive everything’ ‘I can survive every-‘

After this dreadful night, Pekka had asked you to sleep with other men to conclude deals. The times you said no, you were almost beaten to death.

The day when you met Kaz Brekker had been one of these days when you had said ‘no’. Pekka punched you until you vomited blood. Your upper lip needed stitches, and your side was bleeding.

You needed a drink after being beaten so badly, and while going to the nearest tavern, you noticed three armed men trying to steal the jewelry of an old woman. Even if you still tasted blood in your mouth, you ran towards the attackers, and fought them until they ran for their lives. You didn’t kill them, you couldn’t.

Kaz Brekker had watched the entire time. He saw you, a frail and bloody girl defending an old woman in a street with your bare fists. With no weapon, you defeated the men, and helped the old woman go back to her house.

Kaz had followed you for hours in Ketterdam’s streets, watching your every move. That’s when he saw you stealing people’s wallets without them noticing, and that made him convinced he needed you as his crow. Since then, you had always been a Crow, a young girl who knew how to handle blades and especially firearms. There wasn’t a single day when he regretted hiring you. He paid off your debt, and promised himself to kill Pekka when he could.

For Jordie, and you.

***

You loved to think you were a friend of Kaz. Even if you wished you were more. He always asked if you were alright, always tried not to involve you when it was about Pekka Rollins.

He never mentioned once, to anyone that Pekka had forced you to be an escort. Nobody knew. Dirtyhands had let people think you had stolen something from Pekka, and that was why Pekka wanted his money back. Nobody questioned Kaz when it came to you, nobody dared.

He was always thoughtful with you, always considerate. Sometimes he sent you jewels, leaving a necklace on your bed with just a note with a crow drawn. You knew it was him, because you had looked for these notes in his office, and you found multiple. So he must care, right? If not, why bother with all this?

***

Even if you worked for Kaz for years. He never noticed that you didn’t wish to kill. You had promised yourself to try with all your might not to kill. Of course, Kaz Brekker couldn’t know. He didn’t need to know, until one day, he asked you in his office. Alone. Right now.

What had you done? Dirtyhands usually summoned all the Crows in his office, not just you.

“Kaz.” You greeted him.

He acknowledged your presence with a simple nod.

“I need you.” He declared, his tone grave.

If it was not Kaz Brekker saying this, you would have thought it romantic.

“What do you need me for?”

“There is a man I need you to kill. I’ll give you the name, the address, it must be done tonight.”

“I don’t kill.” You retorted without a second thought. You couldn’t bear taking a life and watching someone you killed die.

“You don’t kill?” Kaz repeated, a menacing tone in his voice, and his eyes piercing through you.

You tilted your head in disagreement.

“I need you to kill this man.”

“I’ll say it again, Kaz, I don’t kill.”

“Why?”

You saw something passing in his eyes, but you couldn’t decipher what.

“Because I can’t.” You replied.

“Oh yes, you do, Kaz started raising his voice, just grow up, you’re living in Ketterdam, Y/N, if you can’t kill, you won’t survive in the Barrel.”

Determined not to yield, you crossed your arms and shook your head.

“You are going to kill this man, Y/N, because if you don’t, you are of no use to me.”

You felt anger rushing through you, and sadness. You thought maybe Kaz had appreciated your presence, but that was a lie. Another lie from a powerful man. You were only an investment. Only one of his girls.

You didn’t answer, and quickly approached the door, ready to live.

“Y/N, don’t you dare leave this room!”

The hand still on the handle, you opened the door, and left the room, slamming the door with all your might. You almost smirked knowing the whole Crow Club would hear.

You passed through the people in the crowd of the Club. You spotted Inej, and Jesper at the counter of the bar. But you couldn’t face them tonight.

Kaz wanted you to kill someone. But how could you? You knew that if you did, you would not stop. It would become easy. So easy to take a life, to watch someone take his last breath, and smile.

How many times Pekka Rollins had taken lives without remembering the faces of the dead? And Kaz?

You pushed away the thought. Pekka and Kaz were different, but weren’t they both using you like a puppet only to serve their ends?

You wanted to scream, to go back to your room in the Crow Club and forget that this ever happened. But you couldn’t.

You looked at the small piece of crumbled paper in your hand. Kaz hadn’t noticed you had taken it from him. You looked at the name and the address written in Kaz’s handwriting before folding it and putting it in your pocket. One look at your revolvers displayed on your nightstand gave you all the answers you needed.

Kaz wanted a monster, then you’ll give him one.

***

“Boss. You here?” Jesper asked and entered Kaz’s office without knocking.

“Jesper.”

“What happened? I saw Y/N leaving your office in a rush.”

“It’s none of your business.”

Jesper rolled his eyes.

“What did you do this time?” The Zemeni boy asked.

“I told Y/N to kill someone, and she didn’t want to.”

“And? Why did you ask her? Nina, or Matthias could do it, why Y/N? Or I could do it. I never miss a target.” Jesper winked at Kaz, a malicious grin on his lips.

Kaz sat, and sighed, holding his cane between his hands, and looked at Jesper.

“What?” Jesper asked. ”I am looking good, I know.“

His hand still on his cane, he looked away, avoiding Jesper’s gaze.

“What if Y/N never comes back, Kaz? Did you think about that?”

Kaz groaned.

No, he didn’t think about it. He couldn’t. He didn’t bear the mere thought of never seeing you again.

And what if Pekka found you? He tried to push away the thought of this first time his eyes set on you. So frail. Bruised and bloody, but still standing triumphantly.

“She will come back.” Kaz declared, almost as a prayer.

“What if she doesn’t?” Questioned Jesper.

“Then we let her go.”

“No! She’s been part of the crew ever since you took her in. She is one of us, Kaz. Inej didn’t want to kill either and you let her stay, why not Y/N?”

He didn’t realize his breathing was heavy, and that his hold on his cane had tightened. No, she wouldn’t leave the Crows, the Crow Club and the Dregs. No, she wouldn’t leave him.

At this moment, Kaz Brekker felt lonely. Even if Jesper was there in his office, something was off.

“Leave, Jesper.” Kaz asked, almost wishing Jesper would stay without a word.

“Kaz, you can’t let Y/N leave! You care about her!”

“Leave! Now.” Dirtyhands shouted.

Jesper raised his hands and left the room.

Miserable. That’s how Kaz felt. He put his face in his hands, sighing loudly.

What if you left?

Since that day in the streets, he knew he wanted to protect you from Pekka Rollins, from Ketterdam, and himself. He had tried. He prevented you from ever being involved with Rollins or even with the Dime Lions.

Sometimes, you would enter his office late at night while people were playing Poker in the Crow Club, you would wait for him to talk. About anything. At first, he found it annoying, and hated when you did that, but now he secretly treasured these moments. He wouldn’t admit it, but you could make him smile.

The first times you came to him late in the night to talk, he stayed silent, and you were the only one to speak. Through your secret meetings, you told him about Pekka and the men that had raped you. He had mentally taken note of the names, and these men were found dead a few days later.

But now how was he supposed to forget?

***

A body was lying in a pool of blood.

The feeling in the air was foreboding. The bloodied knife on the desk was displayed on the kitchen counter.

A young woman was looking for a towel or a piece of fabric in the cupboards. Taking her time, she opened them one by one, and when she finally found a blue towel, she took it and wiped the bloody blade of the knife. The woman glanced at the corpse and was tempted to clean the mess.

There were sheets of paper soaked in blood placed on the ground. The woman had read them all.

The man had his mouth open almost as if before dying he had screamed.

Albert Ackers was a slaver; he separated the children from their families to sell them to the highest bidder. Maybe he had deserved it.

The woman unfolded the little note in her pocket with the name of the man, she brought the flame of the lighter near it, before letting the paper burn.

***

The door of Kaz Brekker’s office opened suddenly, Kaz frowned.

“It’s done.” You muttered, looking Dirtyhands in the eyes.

He nodded, grateful you finally returned home.

Home.

This was it then? His home, your home? The crows’ home? You were going to leave his office, without another word.

“Y/N, wait.”

You closed the door, leaving him in the dark again.

***

Kaz Brekker never regretted anything in his life. Until he asked you to kill Albert Ackers. He knew the man was the devil himself, but he should have respected you enough to let it go.

And now you ignored him all the time. Late at night, the door of his office was always ajar where it never was. Each night, the Bastard of the Barrel was waiting for you to come.

You never came.

***

You were only there when the Crows were waiting in his office to discuss a contract. Kaz had noticed you didn’t hesitate to kill anymore. You could be ruthless, and even cruel sometimes. Kaz Brekker hated himself for that. He had taken what he loved the most in you. He loved how compassionate you were, always willing to help even if it meant hurting yourself.

Kaz regretted deeply what he had done. Even more when he began to find every night a new jewel he offered you, displayed on his bed. How he hated himself...

He had lost Jordie, and now you. What was the point of being the King of the Barrel, and having thousands of kruge if he couldn’t have what he wanted?

***

“Y/N, what happened between you and Kaz?” Inej questioned you.

You were sitting at the bar of the Crow Club drinking alcohol with Inej.

“Nothing.”

“Y/N. Everyone noticed the changes in you and Kaz.”

You shook your head, avoiding the Wraith’s gaze.

“Y/N, what happened?” Inej asked, putting a hand on your arm softly.

You finally dared look at her, almost shamefully.

“He wanted me to kill someone, and I didn’t want to.”

Inej raised her eyebrows in wonder, listening to you carefully.

“I killed the man, Inej.” You confessed. “I did it for Kaz.”

“That’s why you’re ignoring him?”

You nodded.

“I am a monster, now. The monster everyone wanted me to be. I became what I despised, and the worst, Inej, is I think I like it.”

Inej approached you and caressed your arm gently.

”You are no monster.”

***

The Crows were reunited in Kaz’s office to steal an ancient weapon worth thousands kruge. You all discussed with the details, and when it was settled, the Crows began to leave, you were going to follow them, until you felt a soft hand on your arm.

“Y/N. Stay.”

“Why? To remind me I am just another investment. Just a puppet to take care of people? No, thank you, I am good.” You declared, almost angrily.

“That’s not true. Stay.” He muttered, praying you would listen for once. “Please.”

His hold on your arm tightened, you pushed his hand away as if it was poisoned and left the room.

Here he was. Alone at last. Again.

***

Kaz had given Nina, Matthias and Jesper a mission to retrieve folders from an important man in Ketterdam.

There were many disappearances these last few months, and Kaz had heard this man was probably involved. Disappearances were not good for business, Dirtyhands had to take the matter in his own hands. He needed information.

The plan was perfect: breaking into the man’s mansion which was heavily guarded, stealing the folders, and leaving. What Kaz didn’t know was that you were going too.

Nina, Matthias and Jesper had agreed to let you go with them. In case things went wrong, another person would come in handy.

You all entered through a window as silently as possible. You looked around you, and stared at the room you were in. Firearms of all length were displayed on the walls. It was a splendid weapons room exhibiting firearms with the most advanced technologies. Jesper made a little scream.

“God answered my prayer!” He whispered. “Am I dead because it’s like being in heaven.”

“Jesper, focus.” Nina reminded him while Matthias was guarding the door.

Matthias glanced at Nina, letting her know it was time to look for information.

”Go with Matthias, Nina, I am going to stay with Jesper. Be fast.” You told her.

She nodded and followed Matthias down the corridor.

You stared at Jesper, your hands in your hips, a frowning look on your face.

“What?” Jesper questioned, kissing a gun.

“Jesper, we need to go.”

“But Y/N, have you seen these guns?”

You nodded, and he sighed, feeling disappointed. Jesper kissed the firearm and caressed the soft metal. The cold metal felt good against his skin.

“Take some if you want.” You told him. “But be quick.”

He almost embraced you but was too preoccupied to gather some of the most amazing guns he had ever seen.

“We need to move.” You said, crouching and watching the hallway.

Jesper followed you when you advanced in the hallway. There were so many rooms, how were you supposed to find the good folders? Hopefully, Nina and Matthias would have more luck.

You began to look for the folders in the rooms, Jesper looking for the bookshelves, and you for the desk. Nothing.

“Oh. That’s good, you need to hear that, Y/N.” Jesper exclaimed, a hand open in his hands.

“What? You found something.” You whispered, almost expecting he found one of the folders.

“Yes, I did! Watch that.”

You looked at the pages Jesper showed you, it was about some Saint of firearms that never missed his target.

“Jes, stop that. We are not here for that.”

“But Y/N, what if the Saint is me?”

You stared at him incredulously, wanting to laugh out loud. You tapped him in the shoulders, and Jesper being Jesper let the book fall out of his hands. It fell on the floor in a loud thumb. You hoped nobody had heard.

“What was that?” A distant voice cried.

You heard footsteps. Two people. In the hallway. You told Jesper to stay still, and when the guards opened the door, they never saw what was coming. You threw a dagger in the neck of the first one, and with grace, you were going to slit the throat of the other one, but Jesper shot.

You groaned. Now everyone knew you were here. Thank you, Jesper.

“To my defense, he tried to kill you.” Jesper declared.

“Come on, we need to find Nina and Matthias, and the folders if we have time.”

You moved without a sound, Jesper following you closely when you heard a woman screaming.

“It’s Nina!” Jesper shouted.

Both of you didn’t wait, you ran towards the sound. There were more guards waiting, and one was pulling Nina’s hair.

Without thinking, you threw yourself at the man, a knife in the hand. You stabbed the man in the neck while he kicked you in the stomach. You stabbed him again in the heart. His breathing stopped. You were covered in blood. You could feel the liquid running down your cheeks and your lips, feeling the metallic taste.

“Damn, Y/N.” Nina muttered. You ignored her, and asked:

“Do you have the folders?”

She nodded.

“We need to go fast.”

Matthias, Nina and Jesper followed you to the nearest room. You opened the window slowly. You heard male voices in the hallway. You were glad you had locked the door, but it wouldn’t last long.

You gestured to Nina to go first, and then Matthias helped you through the window. Jesper did the same, and Matthias came too. All of you began running on the roof following the same path you used to come. At least you were all safe and you had the folders.

***

You threw the folders all soaked with your blood on Kaz’s desk. His arms were crossed as if he had expected Matthias, Nina and Jesper to come back. He was furious you went too.

“This is what you wanted.” You exclaimed and held his gaze.

Kaz noticed how drenched in blood you were, the skin above your eyebrow open, and wounds on your arms. You did kill after all. Dirtyhands would have preferred you didn’t.

Nina said something, but you were too caught up in Kaz’s gaze to hear.

“Ugh, if you’re going to stare at each other all day, then I’ll let you to it. I am hungry.” Nina declared, already leaving.

Matthias followed her, a shy hand on her back. Jesper followed them too.

You stayed. You didn’t know why, but you remained still. Kaz stood up, and advanced towards the door. He closed it behind Jesper.

Now it was just the two of you.

“Y/N.”

You plunged your gaze in Kaz’s, almost losing yourself in his ocean-blue eyes. Even if you were angry with him, you couldn’t hate him, even if you wanted to.

“Kaz.”

He examined your face and your body for any wound, he found multiple. You were covered in blood, soaking his office with the dirt of your boots.

“You went with them.”

It was more like an understatement, than a question. Watching you wounded and bloodied made him feel bad. Terribly bad.

You nodded, a hand on your hip, waiting for him to speak.

What was it Kaz wanted to say? He had prepared what he wanted to tell you, but now no word came.

“Are you done? Because I desperately need a shower.”

“I am sorry.” He whispered eyes fixed on the ground.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

A small smile was drawing on your lips. Was it real? Did Dirtyhands really apologize to you?

“Stop smiling.”

“Was it an apology I heard from the Bastard of the Barrel?” You questioned.

“I told you, Y/N, I am sorry. For everything.”

You sighed and were ready to leave.

Kaz put his hand on your arm, tightening his hold to make you stay.

“Sit on the desk.” He commanded you.

You did as you were told. With the back of your hand, you pushed the documents on the desk, and sat, feet no longer touching the ground.

Kaz had a bowl of hot water in his hands, he put it carefully on the desk with a clean towel. Your eye caught a needle and thread. You winced at the thought of the pain.

Not leaving your gaze, Kaz gently removed his black gloves. You swore you saw him shiver.

He took the clean towel and put it slowly in the bowl, and then with meticulous precision, he approached it to your face.

The towel touched your face, caressing the skin to remove the blood. You didn’t close your eyes; you were staring at Kaz the whole time. His eyes were focused on his fingers and the contact of the towel on his skin.

He tried to touch your cheek with his thumb. The touch was unbearable, but he stroked the skin nonetheless. He closed his eyes and sucked on his breath.

“You don’t have to.” You told him, noticing his invisible pain.

“I want to.”

I need to, he wanted to say.

Then he removed his hand from your face and watched your arms. You began taking off your shirt. Kaz broke your gaze, shy at the thought of seeing more skin on your body.

He washed the blood from the towel and took another one. He rubbed the excess of blood from your arms, brushing your skin and sending shivers down your spine.

“Why?” You whispered.

He plunged his eyes into yours, and you thought he looked like a little boy, not Dirtyhands.

“You’re hurt, it’s my fault.”

You desperately wanted to say ‘no’, and he needed you to say it. But you didn’t, you knew better.

“Your debts to me, to everyone in Ketterdam no longer exist. You are free.”

You nodded, not really realizing what happened.

“Free to flee wherever you want, I’ll give you money, you can even buy a house, begin over.”

No answer.

“But...”

“But?” You asked.

“But you are free to stay. You’ll always have a place here. You’ll always be a Crow.”

“Am I not an investment anymore?” You questioned eyebrows raised in wonder.

“You never were.” He muttered.

“That’s not what I felt.”

“I am sorry for Albert Ackers. I knew you didn’t want to kill, I forced you to do so, and now... “

“I am the monster you created. You wanted me to kill, I kill now, isn’t that good enough for you?” You shouted, taking the bloody fabric from his hands.

“It was already enough. You were already enough, Y/N.” He whispered.

“I became what you wanted me to be, Kaz.”

“I didn’t want that, Y/N.”

“Me neither.” You replied.

“You’re already enough. Stay. Stay with the crows. Stay with me.”

“I am a monster, Kaz.”

“You are not.”

“I am. And you know what’s worst? I don’t mind it, and that scares me.”

“Do you remember the faces of the people you killed?” Kaz asked.

”Each of them. Every night.”

“No monster would remember their faces.”

You closed your eyes, and let the tears run down your cheeks.

“What am I becoming, Kaz?” You cried.

He stood still, staring at you crying, scratching his hands. He wanted to hold you but he couldn’t.

Slowly he touched your shoulder and caressed it. You welcomed the contact and took his soft hand in yours. His breathing became heavy, but his eyes were still locked with yours.

“Stay, Y/N. Stay with me in Ketterdam. We’ll try to tame our demons. Together.”

You nodded, and approached your delicate hand to his face, waiting for him to refuse. He let you touch his cheek even if it burned, and he wanted to scream, but he didn’t. You deserved the world, and for you, he needed to face his demons. Eyes in his, you approached your mouth to his ear, and whispered:

“Together.”

———

If you liked it, don’t forget to like, and comment, it motivates me to write! Thank you!

———

If you liked this x reader, you may love this one with Kaz Brekker:

⬇️ ⬇️

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