#saengtai x lomfon

[syrena-del-mar]

A Jungian Perspective on La Pluie

Saturday... It really wouldn't be Saturday if La Pluie didn't decide to serve me some heartache with a side of Tien. We're finally getting to the crux that that has been plaguing our characters. La Pluie has been positing this question of since the first episode: How do you choose who to love?

Since last week, I can't help but think of the transformation all four of our protagonists are undergoing due to the love or idea of love that they hold. Honestly, you can utilize any form of psychology to analyze media, but this time around I couldn't help but pull towards Jungian psychology, due to its more mystic and spiritual roots (especially in the conversation of love) that I find so fitting with the plot of La Pluie. This will not be an exhaustive study of Jungian theories on romantic love, but more of a focus on a couple of specific Carl Jung quotes that I find to be analogous, so I will be diving into those.

Explaining Jungian Theory on Love and Life

Simplified, Jungian theory holds that there are three elements that make up the human psyche: the ego, the personal unconscious, and the collective unconscious. Jung found that to fully realize one's talents and potentialities, humans have to integrate the conscious and the unconscious. He referred to this theory as 'individuation' and held that individuation would only begin when the human experiences a 'crisis', because of the emotional power of crisis breaks down the ego and initiates questions regarding meaning of life and self. The ultimate goal, under Jung's theory, is to become a fully realized state of self-hood and individuation is what allows one to become fully-realized by combining the ego, personal and collective unconscious through the experiences one has.

Romantic relationships, while unable to be reduced, contribute to one's ability to become fully realized. Jung held that love can be a crisis, as Eros is the creator of all higher consciousness and humans are the victims of cosmogonic love. Fundamentally, to be fully fulfilled, two humans seek a psychic relation with one another, because of an awareness that love will fulfill the spirit and the spirit needs love. Now the journey in finding that love and the experiences you have during while being in love is what really determines how you develop as a human. As a result, falling in love can shatter the ego and experiencing ego death allows one to develop into the transformed self.

Some other accompanying Jungian theories that is necessary to understand for my analysis are the following:

Ego death, while not explicitly stated in Jungian theory, leads to the dissolution of the false or constructed self that is built upon societal expectations, conditioning and attachments. Essentially, through the stripping of one's egoic identity, a more authentic nature is revealed, resulting in a profound shift in consciousness. Ego death results in the ego transcendence and expansion allowing integration of the ego with the conscious and unconscious, which Jung's mainly focused on.

Shadow refers to the repressed aspects of an individual's personality, the parts of ourselves that we deny, disown, or suppress because they are unacceptable, immoral, or incompatible with our self-image. It consists of both negative aspects, such as anger, greed, and jealousy, as well as positive qualities that we may have neglected or denied. Integration of the shadow does not mean indulging in destructive or harmful behaviors, but rather embracing the totality of who we are and finding constructive ways to express and channel those repressed aspects.

Chemical Reactions with Tai, Tien, Patts, and Lomfon

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are transformed."

Through the transformative reaction of love, one may learn to distinguish between who they really are and the image that is forced upon them or what they imagine themselves to be. Just as chemical substances cause a reaction that transforms the substances, he theorizes that if two personalities come together, both individuals are similarly transformed. He holds that personal growth and development can only occur when two humans are able to have an authentic and meaningful connection. Through loving another, this includes their shadow aspects, we learn to love the shadow aspects in ourselves.

First, let's talk about Patts and Tai, the couple that is/was most apparently destined to be together.

Even before knowing that they were soulmates, Patts had an immediate attraction to Tai. An attraction so intense that he was willing to throwaway the soulmate connection for Tai, without even an ounce of awareness that Tai was his soulmate. Meanwhile, Tai was facing his internal battles long before even meeting Patts face-to-face. He was in constant struggle with his "shadow" self, because of his conscious rejection of the soulmate bond. Tai's rejection and suppression manifested through his silence, an active denial of the condition that bonded them. The moment that Patts walked into that café, Tai's perception on their condition and willingness to love changed. Tai's parent's divorce didn't only bring the soulmate connection into question, but also love and human connection. Bow made that explicitly clear about Tai.

Much like when chemicals meet, Tai and Patts were converted and rearranging their perceptions about their conditions and their willingness in regards to love. They wouldn't have undergone this process if it wasn't the other at the end, their willingness to change their understanding and start the process to transform was because it was Tai and because it was Patts.

The meeting of two personalities does not indicate that just anyone will cause this 'chemical reaction' to occur. We see this through Patts and Nara relationship, as well Lomfon and Tai's non-relationship. There is no question that Patts really did love Nara, the pain of his breakup with her is testament to the love that he had for her. [@lurkingshan had a great post about Patts and Nara's relationship]. Yet, Nara's insecurity with the idea of Patt's having a soulmate didn't change even when Patts swore he was committed to her. There was no conversion or sudden change in their perception that could overcome the obstacle of the rain connection, instead there was just the collapse of their relationship. Now in episode 10, we see that Lomfon finally tells Tai about their connection and Tai doesn't question the relationship he has with Patts. He still held that he was in love with Patts and the sudden connection with Lomfon didn't change his feelings towards him, the only shift was his understanding of how the rain connection worked.

Moving onto Lomfon and Tien. Quite literally, the moment that we met them, we saw the reactions that they were causing one another right off the bat. Their personalities, on the surface, absolutely did not match. If this was actual chemistry, their chemical reaction would be more of a combustion.

Lomfon struggles with a similar shadow at Patts and Tai, but to a more volatile degree with his distaste for the idea that his condition would somehow lead to his soulmate. Yet, it's still a question that plagues his mind as we saw in Episode 10. He's struggling with and Tien's relentless belief in the idea of soulmates is threatening his own ideals. He's built himself up to be a skeptic, or an atheist as @shortpplfedup stated, and the fact that he has not one but two soulmates all of a sudden. On top that he is self-aware of his developing attraction and feelings towards Tien, and he even seeks his opinion and like always, Tien's reasoning is opposite that of Lomfon's.

Tien, on the other hand, has the most different shadow to deal with than the rest. His temper and brashness is at the forefront, a shield of sorts, that he utilizes to keep people from stepping in and getting to know him. And it works, it works so well, that he's sidelined by almost every single important person in his life. He's self-sacrificing, generous and over-attentive of others to a fault, and to his own detriment. He uses his light (the brashness, etc.) to hide his true emotions and he neglects himself. Lomfon comes in and challenges his understanding of soulmates and offers him what nobody else has done in his life, a place where he can actually display his emotions. Tien is an enigma, he's friendly but never truly open to the others. Lomfon is playing an important hand in unraveling the walls that Tien has built for himself.

Tien, Tai, Lomfon, and even Patts are embarking the journey of overcoming their ego-death to reach self-discovery. Tien's understandings, plus idealism, surrounding soulmates are being shaken and the walls that he had laid down for Lomfon are likely going to be rebuilt higher and even more impenetrable. His brashness had been beat at the cost of his sincerity being disregarded. Tai has destroyed the ultimate connection that tied Lomfon, Patts, and him together. He finally made a choice, but that also means he's truly alone for the first time since the night that his parents divorced. Patts has finally had his cool and collected demeanor ripped away, unintentionally. He suffered seven years of silence, after finally reaffirming his love for Tai being beyond their mutual condition, he's back to being shut out. Lomfon... I'm with @bengiyo on this one... Talk shit, get hit. For all his rationality that he poses with Tien, he's really the one that has reacted the most from his heart rather than his mind.

Now that all four of them are undergoing their ego death, the question that remains to be seen is if they are going to make it out in tatters or will they come out with a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners?

Choices, choices and more choices

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Jung's understanding of personal growth revolves on the idea that while individuals are shaped by their past experiences and external circumstance, one can overcome themselves, through conscious choice and self-determination. The ability to choose allows humans to have the possibility of transcending their limitations and shaping their own identity and the future that strive to fulfill. Rather than leaving one's fate at the hands of fate, Jung's theory encourages to take responsibility for their lives by making intentional choices, taking an active role in shaping their own lives leading to higher self.

The choices made, and the (pseudo-)lack of choices made, were so apparent in episode 10 that it was almost painful to watch. @liyazaki has a great analysis on Tai's choice in this episode where he chooses to break his own pre-determined destiny. For someone like Tai, who has actively chosen to take a back-seat in his life, this was supposed to be a turning point for him. While he's choosing to not be a product of his pre-determined environment, he's failing to take the front seat driver side in his love life. Like @ginnymoonbeam said, Tai is incredibly conflict-averse while Patts very much prefers to address conflict. Tai's avoidance is still very much a choice and it's a choice that ultimately not only lead to the destruction of the connection but also to the breaking of his relationship. He could have chosen Patts, much like Patts implored, but he didn't, he ran. His choice of running ultimately left him alone, mirroring the night that his parents announced their divorce. His choice gave him what he thought he wanted, but isolation was never the key to his happiness, and I think he realizes that now in the aftermath. [@sunshinechay has a great deep dive into Tai's state of mind after the bond has broken due to his choice]

With Tai's silence, Patts is driven to a point where he cannot just continue to be patient. I'll be honest, I'm going to refer a lot to @lurkingshan's post about the guys and their conflict style for Patts' portion, just because I'm much less well-versed in who he is as a character. Before even making any choice, Patts does what any reasonable lover would do, he double checks with Tai. He checks in to see if Tai is where he said he would be. Like @lurkingshan said, he finally thought there was a sense of trust and understanding between them two and instead he's met with lies after lies. He questions why it was so hard for Tai to choose him, why Tai couldn't just say something. Something that would explain how their whole relationship became twisted, but instead he was met with Tai's silence and when Tai does speak, it's an ultimatum. While Tai offers the bait of breaking up, Patts is the one that makes the choice for them. Just as Tai never explicitly chose him in this episode, Patts ultimately doesn't chose to continue with Tai either. No matter how much you profess your love, when you're presented by an ultimatum and silence, how much is there to salvage? Patts chooses to stop catering to Tai, to stop coddling him, because Patts has his own needs and insecurities that are not being met. It takes two to tango and today, Tai didn't show up, so Patts made the choice to surrender.

Arguably, the only one that didn't make a choice or was even granted a chance to make a choice before hell broke loose was Tien. Instead, he was collateral damage to the choice that Lomfon made. His confession, was not so much a choice as it was a reaction to the combustion that occurred and he was left helpless to watch. And the pseudo-choice that he did make, incurred by the hypothetical question that Lomfon provided, was made without all the details. Tien made a pseudo-choice with a bias that Lomfon was already aware he had, instead of posing the question with the inclusion that he had two soulmates which could have shaken Tien's answer, Lomfon formed the question in a way he knew how Tien would answer. Instead, Tien becomes accidental casualty of his environment due to always being on the outskirts. The only choice he made this time was to not stick around for his pain to be visibly seen or felt. Lomfon was the only one that had seen him at his worst, at his most fragile, and this time he walks away.

Lomfon... Again, where to start with this kid. If I think Tien had no choice, I think Lomfon, on the other hand, made way too many. The main choice that really seemed the most intentional was his choice to kiss Tai. @heretherebedork really hit it on the nail, rather than the soulmate bond (that he presumably would have thrown away to explore things with Tien), it was his choice of holding the significance of the keychain, of their original meeting, higher than his feelings with Tien or even the soulmate connection. For all the scientific and factual hot-takes that he makes regarding the idea of soulmates, he still chose to pursue the idea of fate. While he might be skeptic of the rain anomaly, he doesn't choose to be a skeptic of the keychain coincidence.

The Jungian theory about intentional choices is that they form who one wants to become. It emphasizes personal agency and the ability to transform oneself, something that is a bit counterintuitive to the idea that the deafness and connection with someone in the rain leads to your soulmate. All four of them have the potential for growth and to consciously shape their destiny, yet ironically, the most skeptical about fate, of the four, made a choice based on the idea of destiny. Personal growth isn't linear, but making a choice is a start.

Bright light in a dim world

"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being."

Jung's understanding of human existence depends on the idea of the primary of our lives to bring forth 'inner illumination' in the existential darkness that can accompany mere existence. The "darkness of mere being" refers to a state of existence where individuals may feel disconnected, lost, or lacking a sense of purpose or meaning. It is a condition of living without tapping into our deeper nature or engaging with the depths of our psyche. By kindling a light within, one's creativity and individuality, one can bring awareness, consciousness, and meaning to their lives. This inner light is a source of inspiration, growth, and transformation.

We've finally reached the moment where any ounce of happiness or loudness that Saengtien would have mustered has been lost. In the aftermath of the fight, he's left to pick up the pieces of his brother again. Only this time, he's learning that the one that he likes didn't have him in mind. Much like his name, where a candlelight can be indispensable in the darkness, it can also be snuffed out just as easily. Tien, who's in the outside looking in throughout his whole life as the third child in his family, is also left disconnected by the one he likes. No matter how much Lomfon had liked Tien, even without Tien knowing, he didn't think of him when he found out that Tai was the one that saved him. Tien has become the afterthought. The first person to reach out and attempt to uncover his mask, is the same person that verbalizes the position that Tien is always left in. An outsider.

"What does that have to do with you?" Seven simple words that are arranged in the only way that it could truly pain Tien.

Tien, who masks his pain under his brashness and his prickly self, who hides his own feelings for the happiness of those who he loves. After all the mistakes that Lomfon has committed, Tien still pauses the moment that Lomfon states that he was in pain. Yes, Lomfon fucked up and hurt his brother, but Tien also cares about Lomfon's happiness and he would still put Lomfon's feelings before his own. Until Tien's own insecurities were used against him, even if it was unintentional. Tien has done everything in his power to be the 'candlelight' in the darkest times for everyone else. And for once, he thought he found someone that would be that same beacon of light in his own life. Instead that possibility was extinguished and his sad reality was thrown in his face.

This time around Tien needs to be more careful with his 'candlelight', he needs to learn to put himself first, to finally say what he truly feels and not prioritize the feelings of others over his own. He's pieced himself together to be the person that everyone can depend on, but that meant giving up who he really was. He got trapped into being the odd man out, an outlander in his own home and in his love life, because he never prioritized himself. To find that inner illumination in the mere darkness of life, he has to learn that his happiness is just as important and to strive towards achieving it. Once he learns this, he can also grow and become self-realized.

Final Thoughts

Tai, Tien, Patts, and Lomfon are all in their own journey of self-discovery in a world that treats a condition, that connects you to another person while it rains, as a sign of destiny and fate. La Pluie really does trope subversion really well and brings into question whether a designation of fate is sufficient to establish a relationship. Relationships require work and a mystical attachment cord does not just get rid of that. The four of them are only starting to realize that and hopefully, they come out of this better people. Whether that means together or separate, their meetings will change them in one way or another, and that's not simply because of destiny. You have to put the work in to better yourself, and the people that you meet are only catalysts.

#la pluie analysis #la pluie meta #la pluie thoughts #la pluie #la pluie the series #tienlomfon #lomfon x tien #saengtai x lomfon #patts x saengtai #pattstai #tien x lomfon #saengtien x lomfon #steph rambles #steph overanalyzes #I have two more that I'm working on.... I'm really sorry lmfao #I swear that the next two are mostly shorter

[neuroticbookworm]

La Pluie: Fuck Destiny, Communication is Key

I’m a full week late to the party because I was watching I Told Sunset About You last week and my mind just refused to focus on anything else. And now I’m finally here to write a send-off post to my beloved La Pluie, which gave me one of the most satisfying and interactive TV show experiences of my life.

I’ve been singing praises for this show’s writing for weeks now, and what better way for me to say goodbye to the show than by analyzing two immaculately written getting-back-together scenes from the finale?

Lomfon and Tien

When we last saw Lomfon in the penultimate episode, he apologized to Tai for kissing him in the rain and effectively kick-starting this whole mess. We also saw how he has worked through his feelings and understands that whatever he felt for Tai is not love; it was only rooted in Tai’s goodwill towards him, a few shared traits between him and Tai, and the fact that Tai saved his life by pushing him out of the way of a moving vehicle (a 15 second interaction, I will never get over this insanity). And Lomfon says that all this experimentation has made it clear to him where his heart actually lies.

And now, in the finale, Lomfon is working on the script for his “A Message from the Heart” project and seeking advice from Pingpong.  We see that he fully understands how much he has hurt Tien with his actions. He tells Pingpong “I messed up so much that if I were him, I would never forgive myself”. Tien overhears them and confronts Lomfon, demanding to know if he’s messing with him. “Say it”, he shouts. But Lomfon does not respond, instead insisting that he will “show him with his actions”. And Tien walks away.

This is where I realized that this show is gonna really dig in its heels and fully emphasize how much open and honest communication matters in a relationship. Love can be expressed in so many different ways, and a person’s love language is definitely unique and significant to them. But when words are DEMANDED from you, you must respond with them. You cannot work around the painful and brutal honesty that is needed to form those thoughts, and the strength and bravery needed to stand in front of the person and utter those words.

That’s why Tien walks away from Lomfon when he insists that he will “show him” instead. And that’s why he leaves the room when Lomfon’s project video starts playing. Bear in mind, as far as Tien is concerned, Lomfon still likes his brother. Lomfon has not clarified or explained anything that would justify why Tien was on that presentation screen. So when he asks demands Lomfon, and Lomfon once again tells him that he showed his heart through his actions, Tien turns to walk away. It’s when he finally opens his mouth and starts verbalizing his desire, his fears, his confusion, and his guilt, Tien stops and listens. And when Lomfon asks him what Tien feels in his heart and if he still wants to follow it, Tien finally turns around and kisses him (I will be forever obsessed with the tippy toes).

gif by @liyazaki

I adore the fact that this show never outright rejects any form of expressing love. While Tien rejected actions from Lomfon before he made his intentions clear with words, we see that after Lomfon’s confession, Tien feels no qualms in resorting to a grand and sweeping gesture, like an intense kiss that definitely popped Lomfon’s foot (the foot pop is not purely a physical act, it is a state of mind, The Princess Diaries analogy is still right and valid, I will take no critiques).

Patts and Tai

The road to redemption for Tai is much longer and harder than it was for Lomfon, and the show fully leaned into it and showed us the weight of emotional turmoil Tai must endure to finally earn forgiveness from Patts. We see him have an epiphany about how his lack of communication with Patts mirrors his mom’s approach with him (@lurkingshan). We see him finally talk to Dream, who reiterates that Patts liked Tai before he knew that they were soulmates. And we see Tai take the leap of faith and catch a flight to Chiang Mai to find Patts. My love for this show grew to uncontrollable levels when it did not let Tai find Patts immediately.

He roams the streets, day after day, trying to find the love of his life. And when he comes back to his room every evening, exhausted and alone, he sits in the dark and contemplates how painfully lonely it feels to find and communicate with someone, when your efforts don’t seem to move the needle at all. And realizing this is exactly how Patts must’ve felt in the two years of silence Tai decided to put him through. He meets Art and Phueng, who teach him, yet again, just how important it is to talk and listen to each other in a relationship. And finally, on Day 4 of his quest, Tai runs into Patts on the streets of the local marketplace.

When Tai sees Patts, Patts looks like the mere husk of the man he once was. And Tai wastes no time and starts talking immediately, asking Patts to stay silent so this time, he can be the one who speaks out his love for him. Tai admits that he was stupid and selfish in their relationship. He says “Love is about two people. It does not need destiny to pave”. And he finally, finally says “I love you, Patts. I don’t care if it rains or not. I do love you no matter what happens”. And we see Patts wrap Tai into his body and promise to never let go of him again.

gif by @liyazaki

Now, I have to stop and give Title Tanatorn all the flowers in the world for his outstanding performance in this episode (and the show as a whole). He made me feel Tai’s soul-crushing pain and sadness, and also soothed my tender and bruised heart in the span of mere minutes. This scene was the culmination of Tai’s character development arc. He went from a guy who felt so jaded about love and relationships that he had been ghosting his soulmate for two whole years, to a guy who stood weeping in the middle of the road, pouring his heart out to Patts who only wanted Tai to love him back the way he loved him. And Title Tanatorn fucking nailed it.

And Pee Peerawich is no slouch either, as my boo @wen-kexing-apologist has already established, here. In the finale, he delivers a sublime, understated performance that does not take the spotlight away from Tai, while also perfectly reflecting Patts’ emotions on his face during Tai’s confession. These actors are so incredibly talented and did everything they can to augment the brilliant work of the writers of this show. Y’all have my attention, Tanachot Prapasri and Fuke Teerapat. I will diligently show up to watch your future works, even if it’s just your grocery lists dramatized into a TV show (shoutout to @so-much-yet-to-learn, who, when I voiced this statement, immediately and unironically piped up “Have you heard of this show called Ingredients?”. My BL buddies are hilarious as fuck and I will never be not impressed by the lengths Thai BLs would go to sell stuff to the masses).

Finally, I want to focus on a moment in the finale that kinda threw me off at first but, as the days passed, slowly grew into its significance. Dream tells Tai that Patts left with one last message: “I believe in soulmates. Saengtai is my soulmate”. Isn’t that.. weird? We know that Patts has openly stated before in this show that he wanted to defy destiny, and how his love for Tai is not just because he is his soulmate. For him to state this in the final episode seemed like an odd writing choice.

But, in the final voiceover, the show tells us (through Tai’s voice) that no one chooses to find an answer (to the hearing-loss-soulmate phenomenon) anymore. Instead, the people in this world are choosing to attribute whatever meaning they want to it. We have seen Patts say that Tai is his soulmate many times throughout this show, but he doesn’t mean it in its traditional sense; he means “I love Saengtai and I believe that I can’t live without him, which makes him my soulmate”. He paves his own way, and earnestly believes that Tai is his soulmate not just because they can hear each other when it rains, but because Tai understands and completes him and they find happiness in each other's company. In short: Fuck Destiny.

Since we were teased with a setup for a potential second season, I want to wrap up this post with a smattering of potential scenarios that have borrowed into my brain:

@bengiyo gleefully pointed out that when Lomfon suggests that he and Tien wait for another five minutes before going back into the classroom, so Tien won’t be forced to watch his embarrassingly sappy video, more than five minutes has already passed since they had walked out. Which means that Lomfon made a 10+ minutes long video of just Tien being cute and giggly and adorable. I love this over-the-top, madly-in-love Lomfon and I better get many, many more moments of him being pathetically sappy about Tien in the next season

I want the Patts-Saengnuea moment recreated beat by beat, including the sunglasses flip. If I don’t see Saengnuea on his tippy toes, menacingly lean into Lomfon’s ear and threaten him with bodily harm if he ever hurts his little brother, then what’s even the fucking point?

The comedic potential of Lomfon being forced to socialize with Patts, while he tries to make himself as small and unassuming as physically possible is a treasure trove and must be treated by the writers as such. The possibilities are endless. Warun and Saengchan would be menaces, trying to cook up situations that would force them together. Tai and Tien would act exasperated, while secretly enjoying the shenanigans. Gimme all of it.

My experience of watching this show is indelibly tied to all the wonderful metas I read here. The sense of community around this show’s discourse was incredible and a joy to be part of. Thank you to all the amazing humans who decided to be very not-chill and not-normal about this show: @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @ginnymoonbeam, @wen-kexing-apologist, @liyazaki, @respectthepetty, @syrena-del-mar, @chickenstrangers, @rocketturtle4, @williamrikers, @shouldiusemyname, @sunshinechay, @slayerkitty, @indigostarfire, @iguessitsjustme and I know I’m missing many more, sorry! And a special, with-cherries-on-top shoutout to @lurkingshan for putting the La Pluie meta roundup together, and encouraging people to participate in the discourse. Peace out, homies! And as always, FUCK DESTINY!

gif by @ueasking

#la pluie #la pluie series #la pluie the series #la pluie meta #pattstai #patts x saengtai #lomfontien #tien x lomfon #title tanatorn #pee peerawich #suar kritsanaphong #copter nuntapong

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Body Language in La Pluie Ep 12

I told @bengiyo the other day that I didn’t know that I had much more to say on La Pluie, because I thought the show was perfect and when it’s perfect I don’t have a lot fo analysis to write up at the very end. 

“For you, Captain Hands, who writes 20,000 word essays, that is unacceptable” 

But I was truly at a loss for what I could talk about because this whole show was phenomenal and I was seeing such good meta coming out from so many other people, I felt like most of it was covered. So I consulted the clowns and they were like “baby you’re a one trick pony, you know what you need to write about…body language,” and I went ‘oh yeah you’re right!” 

So here is a breakdown of the body language in the two confession scenes in Episode 12: Tien and Lomfon, Tai and Patts. 

Tien and Lomfon 

Judging for the sheer number of gifs of this moment, it appears Tien and Lomfon’s reconciliation and kiss was universally beloved in the fandom. And I can understand why because it is 

So 

Fucking 

Good 

Because Suar is 

So 

Fucking 

Good 

And because Copter is delivering his best performance of the show. 

So let’s just jump right in, I want to start at the very beginning of this confession because there is a lot happening in the classroom itself. The scene opens with the film teacher calling Lomfon’s name, and asking if he is ready to present. The camera cuts to a semi-close up of Lomfon’s face:

Now, generally speaking, I think Copter has a long way to go in his acting, particularly around how mobile he makes the lower half of his face, because he rarely tends to move it. But it cannot and will not be denied, that Copter has some truly expressive eyes and Lomfon’s anxious energy does bleed through in the way he sets his jaw, his shoulders, how his eyes are shining. Up until this point, Lomfon has approached almost every single possible romantic moment completely wrong, and fucked with the lives of Tien, Tai, and Patts for the sake of better understanding his own feelings. He realizes that he likes Tien, he knows Tien likes him, or that he did at one point and that he may have fucked that up. So he has absolutely no idea what this is going to do, if it will help or hurt, but he has to try it anyway, so the movie starts to play. 

Tien, notably, is very intentionally looking at the ground. He will not meet Lomfon’s eye, he will not seem interested in the film, he will not give Lomfon the time of day. Lomfon blew up three people’s lives, and didn’t seem all that remorseful about it. The film starts, and a compilation of Tien’s radiant smile graces the scene, and Tien is for the first few moments, completely unaware. That is, until the rest of the class starts visibly, physically reacting to what is airing on screen. At which point Tien risks a tentative glance towards the screen…

And sees himself over and over and over again, in so many private little moments that Lomfon has captured. And where first his eyes were transfixed on the floor, they are now transfixed on the screen. Everyone in the entire classroom has turned their eyes away from the screen and straight towards Tien, and Tien and Lomfon become the only two people in the room that are watching the movie. 

The film continues, unrelenting clips of Tien as seen through Lomfon’s eyes, and though Lomfon told Tien he would show him he cares through his actions, that is not what Tien needs. And there is a moment, though it is small, where you can see Tien’s anger/frustration click in to place. 

It’s right here, in the inhale, in the setting of his jaw, slightly crooked as he continues to process exactly what he is seeing, exactly what Lomfon has done. And he pries his eyes away from the screen, slowly meets Lomfon’s eye for the first time since their fight, and does not break eye contact until his friend leans over and asks the question “Tien, how come you’re the thing from Lomfon’s heart?” at which point the spell is broken, the anger boils over, and Tien, being the third child who has his head on straight and is used to suppressing his own emotional state, rockets out of the room with a bitter, half-assed “I have to use the bathroom” excuse everyone can see through. 

This is not the reaction that Lomfon was expecting based on the way his body is turned to face Tien, the way his jaw has dropped just a touch, the way his eyes are glued to Tien and following him out the door. Lomfon is clearly surprised and slightly distressed to see Tien flee the room like that, clearly upset, and he is up and running after him within a few seconds, determination setting in his face. 

Tien is hustling, even as Lomfon is running after, even as Lomfon is calling his name hurried and slightly panicked. It is not until Lomfon calls out “Don’t go” that Tien stops, but not for long. He pauses just long enough to decide whether or not he is going to read Lomfon the riot act, or just walk away and hope that ends the conversation forever. Tien spins on his heel and starts swinging right out of the gate. 

“Why did you do that?” and his weight shifts a lot as he settles into place, and Lomfon matches his energy, also shifting around a lot as he grinds to a halt. 

“That’s the topic ‘A message from the heart’”

Tien is pissed now, like well and truly pissed. Even in the rain, even after Lomfon blew apart his brother’s life, Tien was calm, even-keeled, almost withdrawn when it came to his own pain. He was loud and aggressive, and very clearly livid when it came to what Lomfon did to Tai and Patts, but when Lomfon shouted in his face “I want to know my heart. I want to know who I like, what does that have to do with you?” his disappointment was palpable, but he responds in the softest voice ever.

Here though, it is time for him to be mad on his own behalf:  “Then why was I in your video? What are you going to say?” 

And Lomfon does look upset, and slightly vulnerable in this moment in the way his mouth is open, in the way his eyes are laser focused on Tien, in the way his eyebrows are slightly crooked like he is furrowing his brow: “I already told you, I would show you with my actions” because that is supposed to be obvious. I mean, Lomfon blatantly told Tien this before he ever showed the film. 

But that is the wrong answer. Tien, frustrated, turns back around to storm off because as @neuroticbookworm has already discussed, conversation is what needs to happen, not grand gestures. Grand gestures from Lomfon are what got everyone in to the messes they are in, grand gestures are not what is going to get him out. Tien will not entertain grand gestures in the slightest. 

“I did this because I like you!” Lomfon shouts to Tien’s back, and that’s what gets him to pause. 

And my refusal to learn how to make gifs bites me in the ass because Suar absolutely demolishes a micro-expressive face journey in this scene, there are at least four internal monologues Tien is cycling through as he listens to Lomfon’s speech. There is surprise, suspicion, annoyance, and slowly, slowly he begins to soften, and soften, and soften as Lomfon continues to say the right things. Like, legitimately, seriously I feel like I can tell when Tien’s stomach twists and heart picks up from the way Suar is moving his face. 

Which leads us to the best bit of acting that Copter has done the entire show: 

“I know that I like you. I like you very much. I like you so much that I don’t know what to do. I like you so much that I think if I don’t tell my feelings to you, I will regret it for the rest of my life” and he says the whole thing in tears. His face crumpling, his lip trembling, his eyes red. Tien’s back is turned throughout the monologue but he too is fighting back tears, because he can hear Lomfon’s voice, he can hear it waver and crack, he can hear Lomfon sniffling. And the camera reinforces that by cutting to Tien’s turned back twice during the monologue, his face moving almost imperceptibly as he listens, really listens to what Lomfon has to say. 

And when Lomfon falls silent, Tien turns to face him. 

I think it was @kyr-kun-chan who said “I like that when Tien turns around I can’t tell if he is going to kiss Lomfon or punch him” and honestly same. Like, looking at Tien’s face here, his eyes don’t match his mouth. His mouth is soft, slightly open, willing to forgive Lomfon, but his eyes don’t have their typical shine. There is a seriousness in them we haven’t seen that often. Tien is thinking, he is processing, he is calculating, and then the camera pans out to a wide shot.

Which makes me crazy over the costuming and positionality. Tien and Lomfon stand in completely the opposite places as where they sit in the classroom. Tien stands so that his entire chest is exposed to the audience, but closed off to Lomfon. Lomfon stands so that his whole chest is exposed to Tien, but closed off from the audience because Lomfon is pouring his heart out to Tien, and Tien is keeping his own reactions to Lomfon’s confession to himself. 

Tien’s face crumples and he barrels towards Lomfon, and similar to @kyr-kun-chan, Lomfon does not seem particularly certain whether he is about to have lips or a fist planted on him. 

Eyes transfixed on Tien’s face, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to decipher the look on Tien’s face, eyes still red cause he’s been crying, and then BOOM:

I am sure everyone has seen this kiss scene a million times, either rewatching the scene or reblogging the gifs, so I am not going to talk about the kiss, BUT I WILL TALK ABOUT THE HANDS BECAUSE I AM SO INTRIGUED BY HOW THEY HANDLED THE HANDS IN THIS KISS. 

So obviously, we start with the moment above, where the kiss itself is the center/focal point, but Tien’s hand is completely visible. His fingers comfortable and curled, and digging in to Lomfon’s neck to stabilize him from the force of the kiss. Tien sinks lower, because he is shorter, and his hand helps keep Lomfon pressed against him as he settles. And that is all well and good, and I love the shape Tien’s fingers make here. But then we get to some shots that are truly a marvel to me, they confused the hell out of me in the best possible way, in the way that makes me want to question the cinematographer because the next time the camera focuses on something other than the actual kiss, we get close ups, but these close ups are of a shoulder and a back. The only thing truly interesting to look at in those shots, to me at least, is the hands. But the hands are cut off. We don’t see Lomfon’s fingers at all, we don’t see precisely the way that he is holding Tien in the way that we see how Tien is holding Lomfon.

And it is fascinating to me, that the close ups cut off Tien’s fingers, like we see his thumb stroke Lomfon’s back a little, we see Tien’s hand move up Lomfon’s shoulder and further out of frame. And it intrigues me so much, because when Tai and Patts have their kisses, their hands are constantly visible, you can see it when Tai squeezes Patts’ back, you can see it when Patts scratches Tai’s back, you can see it when Patts is grabbing at whatever piece of skin he can so he can steady Tai on his lap while he kisses down his chest. But here, Tien and Lomfon’s hands are rarely completely visible. In fact, when never see Lomfon’s entire hand during the kiss, one is out of frame for most of it, with his fingers flat and therefore barely visible across Tien’s shoulder blade, the other buried in Tien’s hair so deep you can’t see anything.

And Tien’s hand(s) are only completely visible when the camera pans out on the kiss, rather than when it pushes in on their bodies. 

Which works so well for me, because it is so counter to Tai and Patts. As I said, when Patts and Tai make out, their hands are always visible, the camera pushes out to a wide shot and their bodies are making beautiful shapes. But that isn’t happening here, when the camera does a wide shot, Tien and Lom are standing pretty straight, with some distance between their bodies. They aren’t playing around too much with sensation, and with the reveal at the end of a possible sequel, it makes sense that we wouldn’t see a fully formed picture of what intimacy between Lomfon and Tien looks like. 

What we do get to see, however, is how Tien and Lomfon are personally impacted by this kiss, by this confirmation of their mutual interest in one another:

gif by @piningintrovert

GOD I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE LOOK ON TIEN’S FACE WHEN THEY FINALLY PART. The way his eyebrows furrow, the bliss on his face, that Oh. moment when Tien realizes how good it felt. The way Lomfon smiles and the way Tien beams and how Lomfon, having learned his lesson, tells Tien that he’s happy, tells Tien he will have to get used to him smiling, tells Tien he will see that smile every day. You know communicates. 

In summary, this is a beautifully handled, beautifully performed scene and I want to give mad props to Suar and Copter for how they navigated this moment. 

Tai and Patts

Now let’s talk Title and Pee, or rather Tai and Patts during Tai’s confession, which was another beautiful performance by our two leads. A truly underrated moment that I don’t see getting enough love from the fandom considering I have seen a total of one gifset of it, and because it is the most perfect confession Tai could ever give to Patts. 

After spending multiple days looking all over Chang Mai for his boyfriend, Tai finally spots him giving a little girl her kitten back and calls after him. And the look in Tai’s eyes, the way his mouth is agape, Tai looks like he’s seeing a ghost, like he scarcely believes that what he is seeing is real, that Patts is really here, that Tai has really found him. 

And because they are perfect for each other, Patts looks…exactly the same. Just, much more haggard like he has not slept well the entire time he and Tai have been separated. Patts, respectfully, looks like shit. 

As he should because he is fucking heartbroken. Tai approaches slowly, tentatively, like he doesn’t know what to expect, like he is no longer certain of his place in Patts’ life. And even though Tai is moving slowly, Patts is still not fully processing what is happening. Tai approaches and Patts stays firmly rooted in place, but he is leaning slightly away from Tai, like he still isn’t sure this is real, like he needs to get a better look at Tai to be certain. 

When Patts sees Tai his eyes go wide, he blinks, he swallows like he isn’t sure of his place in Tai’s life anymore. He is paralyzed trying to figure out what Tai is doing here, if he’s about to have his heart healed or broken further. 

Tai, of course, immediately bursts in to tears, as is his god given right. And good golly miss molly, Title is fantastic at getting Tai’s tears off the ground. He looks at Patts, the man he loves, the man he has failed, the man he has hurt, his eyes start to well, his nostrils flare, his lip trembles and he starts his confession. 

“You know what? For these past few days I have been looking for you. I’m so terrified that I can’t see you again. I’m terrified you don’t want to meet me anymore.” 

And, I mean, props to Tai for being honest, but goddamn, Patts is already Straight Up Not Having a Good Time Right Now and telling him you were worried that he wouldn’t ever want to see you again has got to feel like a knife is being twisted to him, knowing how much Patts loves Tai. Seeing how haggard he is from being away from Tai for only a few weeks, how close to tears he is just from seeing Tai’s face. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Tai continues, which is wonderful, because Patts has always been the person to reach out. The first to use the soul mate link, the only one to talk through it for the first two years, Patts was the one who approached Tai in the coffee shop, Patts initiated and stopped their first intimate moments, Patts is the one who tried to face their problems head on after the fight with Lomfon, and to follow up after their fight over how Patts handled the Lomfon situation. But Patts is in so much shock from seeing Tai here, where he thought he couldn’t be found that he hasn’t said a word anyway. 

“This time, please let me say it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I acted stupid, I was selfish, I was too emotional. I didn’t talk to you well, I let it slide until it’s bad like now.” he says through shaky breath. 

And then Tai looks down, gathering his strength, gathering his words, but bearing the weight of the shame and sadness he feels for how his failure to properly communicate has hurt Patts.

“You know, I had not idea that the sound of rain could be so hurtful and lonely,” and I love that when Tai says “the sound of rain” he looks up at the sky. Like he is looking for rain clouds, like he is expecting rain.

“As for all of the soulmate things I was curious about, I know that through myself, Lomfon, my parents. I know that now. Love is about two people, it doesn’t need destiny to pave. I don’t care whether you are my soulmate or not. The most important thing is our feelings.”

Patts nods slightly, and bites his lip. Now, there are a number of ways I think it is possible to read Patts’ face in the next couple of close ups, but I personally read them very much as Patts steeling himself to be officially broken up with. 

“What’s most important is our feelings” Tai says, Patts braces himself to hear that Tai does not feel love for him anymore. 

“Do you remember? There was a time when you asked me whether saying “I love you” was hard?”

gif by @liyazaki

“No Patts, it’s not hard,” and Patt’s face falls, his lip starts to tremble. “So I kept asking myself how I feel about you. My feelings have not changed at all.” 

And once again, Patts nods slightly, swallows hard, and his face falls even more, he’s closer to tears.

“I love you Patts, I don’t care if it rains or not. I do love you, no matter what happens” and before Tai can say anything else, Patts is rushing to embrace him in a hug. Because he finally knows, for certain, for real, straight out of Tai’s mouth, that Tai loves him. That Tai has always loved him, and that Tai will continue to love him. 

And, going back to my conversation around Lom and Tien’s hands and how they differ from Patts and Tai, we get So Much Hand in the hug between Patts and Tai. And you can see how tightly Tai is squeezing Patts, how deep he is burying his head in Patts’ shoulder. Patts is wrapping Tai up as much as he can, he is touching Tai in as many places as he can. Patts’ hand on Tai’s shoulder, in his hair, across his back

On his elbow when they kiss.

gif by @liyazaki

And their kiss is slow and tentative, both certain and uncertain, like they need to re-establish where they are and where they have been. LIke they need to check in with each other and make sure that this level of intimacy after such a strenuous fight and break up is okay with both of them. 

I don’t have any impassioned speeches to give at the end of all of this, Patts and Tai are together, they are happy, we leave them where they always should be, happy in each other’s arms. Tai had some major growth at the end of La Pluie, getting called out by his brother, introspecting and realizing that Tai was handling the conflict with Patts like his mother has handled conflicts with him. Realizing how lonely the silence is, and understanding that the way he feels about only ever having silence in his head is horrible and that he left Patts to feel that way for years. Understanding now, why Patts could not bear Tai’s silence when he was upset at the way Patts handled Lomfon kissing him. 

La Pluie is one of the best written shows I have seen. The script is so smart, it understands the realities of relationships, highlights the importance of communication, gives proper consequences for ill-advised actions, and subverts the traditional soulmate trope by having the soulmate connection only ever act as a barrier between Patts and Tai getting together. It has truly been and honor and a blessing to clown with all of you about this show, it made me so happy to see more and more people getting in to this show, and more and more people writing about this show. It may have taken me a couple episodes to get in to the story, but looking back on it, I have loved every minute. Thanks for reading and I look forward to (hopefully) doing this all again for season 2. 

(tagging @lurkingshan cause she asked me to)

#la pluie #la pluie the series #la pluie meta #la pluie analysis #patts x tai #patts x saengtai #tien x lomfon #wka long post

[scarefox]

Oh the girls are (already) fighting

#la pluie the series #ep6 #patts x saengtai #lomfon

[heretherebedork]

We are now facing the ultimate test of the concept of soulmates and choice within their universe as well as the power of kindness, compassion and love.

Tien believes in soulmates. He always has. He watched his parents divorce but still believed that their love mattered and he always believed that Tai would find love with soulmate.

Lomfon absolutely does not believe in soulmates, has stated as much, and now has to face what it means to hear someone in the rain and to face his own changing emotions.

But in this story Tien has to face his trust in soulmates when the person he loves is attached to his brother and to decide for himself, to make the choice, about what love means.

While Lomfon has to look at the idea of soulmates that he doesn't believe in and his crush on Tai while he's also starting to like Tien and he's suddenly in a place where none of what he thought makes sense made sense any more.

Love is a choice and there might be fate and destiny but fate and destiny do not determine your choices, only your chance to make those choices.

Tai and Patts are soulmates who finally made the choice to be with each other and were brought together though shared kindness, compassion and love.

But Lomfon and Tien are strangers who formed a connection naturally only to have fate and destiny and soulmates placed between them rather than enhancing that natural connection. They are both going to have to make a choice but that choice feels bigger.

Lomfon has been flirting with Tai for this long but is still unsure of how he feels now that he's experiencing Tien's kindness. Kindness and compassion are the building blocks of love.

Tai and Tien are both kind people who find kind people in Patts and Lomfon. Lomfon and Patts both found people that they could love and who need their love in Tien and Tai. They all found kindness, compassion and love with each other.

The final hurdle, the last wrench in this is, in Tien's belief in soulmates and Lomfon's new hearing loss. Because this is the final test, the final look at fate and destiny and choice and what is a choice.

The keychain and the rain matter, the post it notes matter, the kindness and the compassion and the silence and the noise all matter because you make choices about what matters.

#la pluie meta #la pluie the series #la pluie series #la pluie #bl series #thai bl #thai drama #thai series #bl drama #thaibl #asianlgbtqdramas #thai bl series #patts x saengtai #phat x saengtai #tien x lomfon #pattstai #lomfon x tien #lomfontien #lomfontian #pattssaengtai #patts x tai #patttai #taipatts #tai x phat #just me losing my mind #i need more people to love them the way i do #obsessively

[thedooristhebluecushion]

If you (like me) are sitting in your feels after La Pluie & Step by Step tore your still beating heart out of your chest and stomped on it this week, may I recommend Secret Crush on You?

It truly cures whatever ails you in that most satisfactory BL ways.

<& Seng Wichai deserves a God Damn Oscar>

#la pluie #la pluie the series #step by step #step by step the series #secret crush on you the series #secret crush on you rewatch #phatai #phat x tai #phat x saengtai #lomfon x tien #jengpat #jeng x pat #jaab x jen #jaab x jane #nueatoh #nuea x toh #skyjao #sky x jao #intouch x daisy #thai bl #thai bl series #thai bl drama #seng wichai

[crispywizardtale]

La Pluie

Lomfon's theory

I'm making this post because I believe Lomfon's theory could be correct.

In episode 5 Lomfon talked about his theory and his view of soulmates.

His theory goes like this:

"I believe that people who have hearing loss are just ill, technically. It's linked to the climate when it's raining. So, theoretically, it's most likely that the fact that two people hear eachother when it rains or, soulmates, like everyone calls it, is a phenomenon of matching wavelengths of the two people."

So what if soulmates do not exist and everyone just accepted it as a simple answer over the random loss of hearing when it rains.

Another thing that could prove this theory is what happens to Lomfon in episode 8

Lomfon heard both Pat and Sengtai having a conversation during heavy rain, and I doubt the theory that 3 of them being soulmates, and I believe he also heard Sengthian as well.

What if he was correct? What if he randomly connected to Patts and Sengtai's wavelength? It would also explain why Sengtais parents got a divorce. If the soulmate thing isn't real, maybe they weren't made for each other like they believed they are.

#theory time #maybe just maybe #it would explain a lot #la pluie #la pluie the series #tien x lomfon #patts x saengtai #asian bl #bl series #thai bl

[biherbalwitch]

This was an interesting ep for sure. though, Idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I'm glad this break up happened. Everyone messed up in some way this episode (except tien bless him) but the absolute violence coming from Patts is the worst thing that could've happened. Almost every other action can be excused EXCEPT this, it was physically hard to watch.

#like i was on the fence about his character #bc i liked how sweet and understanding he was #but also he was pushy in the beginning #but this episode just locked my opinion about him #yikes #anyway #really interested in how it will go down from here #since they all lost the rain connection #la pluie #la pluie the series #saengtien #saengtai #lomfon #tien x lomfon #patts x saengtai #pattstai

[lgbtally4ever]

QUESTION:

In La Pluie, when Patts comes upon Lomfon and Saengtai, in the rain, before Saengtai breaks the “spell” of the rain deafness, why can Patts hear Lomfon? THEY AREN’T soulmates!

#question #la pluie #thai bl #bl series #thai bl series #thai bl actors #iqiyi #patts x saengtai #tien x lomfon

[sunshinechay]

👬+👀+🚫

👬 favourite side pairing

WaanTul owns my whole ass. I was gone for them so fast it’s insane, but also it’s Yacht so why am I really that surprised lol. Recently though MetheeThanthai from Laws of Attraction had me by the throat as well.

What can I say? Give me one rich (not required) boy with low self esteem and pair him up with the one who thinks that he hung the moon and I’m a sucker

Other honourable mentions include: TeeYuki (I will die mad about the fact that they cut out their subplot), InkPa (the best thing about the series. PERIOD but also I have unpopular opinions about BBS so let’s just leave it at that), NuerSyn (when will MML come out and give me TutorYim as leads?), DanYok (because DanYok okay), KimChay (*insert cry gif here*) and many others lol

👀 what do you think of love triangles in BLs?

I feel much the same as I do about love triangles in het dramas. If done properly, it can provide insight into all of the characters involved and further their growth. That being said, the LI who gets chosen in the end much make logical sense for the leads progress. Though there is a part of me that always goes, why not both?

A good recent example I think is from La Pluie. The Patts x Saengtai x Lomfon triangle worked for what it was trying to do. It gave us a greater understanding of all the characters and helped each in the end. It is an example of a love triangle that also has a clear “winner” right from the beginning so take of that what you will.

All that being said, love triangles are another thing on my list of “hard to pull off, easy to fuck up” so I’m always very weary of them when they come up because it’s hard to tell if it’s going to work for the story or not.

🚫 what trope do you hate and why?

Not to sound like a broken record but SINGING!!!!! When the show is actually about music and musicians (like My School President or something similar) then okay, the singing and the instruments makes sense and I am okay with it, but I genuinely really hate when the characters just randomly pick up instruments or start singing (I already have my most hated scene in OF and it’s literally Ray doing karaoke. Khaotung can sing and I love his singing, but please don’t! I can’t take it anymore!)

BL ask meme

#talistheintrovert #waantul #between us #la pluie #i don’t talk about waantul enough and i really should fix that #singing in BLs my beloathed #i will watch the scene on mute before i listen to their singing #and i’m not sorry about it #cap answers asks #cap speaks

[syrena-del-mar]

The Depths of Inner Turmoil: Exploring Isolation, Connection, and Vulnerability in La Pluie Ep. 10

La Pluie's manner in utilizing imagery really depicts what it means when a 'picture is worth a thousand words.' Since the first episode I had been anxiously awaiting La Pluie's dive into the fallout of Lomfon and Tien. Anything I had conjured up when I was imagining the scene did not even come close to how palpable Tien was hurt. Taking in, at face value, the image of Tien on that bench is painful enough, but the comparison to Tai, Lomfon, and Patts makes it hurt even more.

This time around, not only do I think that La Pluie was making a statement on Tien's own pain as the odd one out, but I also think they were showing the levels of isolation, connection and vulnerability that all four of them have found themselves in.

Isolation vs. Connection

Patts, Lomfon, and Tai finding reprieve in their respective homes after the fallout of their shattered connection is significant. They're sitting, boxed in by the four walls of their homes alone, struggling alone, for the first time. They are finally completely and utterly isolated. None of the three ever really wanted to have their condition, but they were all tied together by the laws of nature in their universe. For once, they have the isolation that they had wanted, left just with their thoughts and without the intrusion of others in their mind, but that means the three of them going to have to come to terms with how lonely that actually is.

They're struggling through their pain isolated, physically separated and emotionally confined. Their respective homes are acting as a barrier from any form of contact with the outside world, Tai is especially disconnecting himself due to his nature of being conflict-avoidant. Tai seeks the comfort of isolation, because when you're isolated, nothing will rock the boat. Nothing can breach in and hurt you. Tai and Lomfon are the ones that have fully become trapped, emotionally confined and isolated into the four walls that surround them. They are forced to be with their own thoughts and feelings, to think about how their choices really lead them into that isolation. They're both choosing to hide their personal struggles and emotions, internalizing them, breaking all meaningful relationships (intentionally and unintentionally).

Patts seeks answers and comfort, a connection, first with Nara, yet he ignores her existence only downing drink after drink, because that’s not the connection he wants. Patts wants his connection (both literally and metaphorically) back with Tai but Tai physically shuns him out. As a result, Patts is also left alone, trapped, but not by his own volition. Tai isolates him, just as he isolated his own family when his parents divorced. Patts now takes the place of Tien, sitting outside his door. The key difference being that Tien knew that Tai sought the isolation, sending him only a note of reassurance, while Patts is trying to get him to open up while he's left in the other room to deal with own wound. All three of them are left to shield that pain away from the outside world, hidden by their walls of their home.

In contrast, we have Tien, truly alone again, but this time he's just a numb shell of the vibrant and brash man he used to be. The only one that finds himself outside, still in his soaking wet clothes, ruminating in the pain. He's the unassuming collateral damage. He's the one that has always been totally alone before this, always the outsider looking in. In Tien's perspective, Lomfon readily throws that in his face, even knowing how sensitive Tien is, because Lomfon was only thinking about his own pain. Even if he had been interested in Tien before, the moment that Tai confirmed that he had been the one that saved him, for a split-second Lomfon was willing to try to believe in fate. Neither Tien nor Tien's warning ever crossed his mind in that moment. In Tien's view, Lomfon wanted to figure out his heart, but he did that at the cost of his friend by messing with his brother. The very brother that Tien had broken down and cried to Lomfon about, when Tien realized he hadn't "cared for him properly". While Lomfon might have only been the catalyst of the actual psycho-connection break with Tai and Patts, he's the one that unintentionally created the actual separation with Tien.

Yet, the fact that he's not boxed in, not confined, he's the only one that was willing to be vulnerable. He's outside, where anyone can see him, on a bench that is big enough for two people. In an invitation for someone, anyone, to come look for him or to comfort him. The emotional toll that the night has taken on him is absolutely visible to anyone that would pass him by. For the first time, he's not hiding his true emotions behind a mask. Out of the four, he's the only that is exhausted of hiding and distancing himself. The only thing that hiding got him was being sidelined by everyone he loves. So he's not hiding anymore, he's alone, but he's not hiding. His vulnerability is in complete display to whoever crosses him, he needs support and he might be unconsciously seeking that connection with someone (anyone), because the only connection that he did have, blew up in his face. But nobody comes, because he's hidden behind that mask for so long and he's put himself second for so long that people have forgotten that he has actual feelings and needs to be cared for as well. They've forgotten that Tien, behind all that brazenness and self-assertiveness, still needs someone to look out for him.

Internalization vs. Externalization of Emotions

The image of the the three sitting in their own homes, in comparison to Tien who is all alone outside in his soaked clothes sitting in a bench, elicits a poignant portrayal of the internalization and individualized suffering that the three are undergoing. Each one of them are secluded in the confines of their own home, a microcosm that consists of the painful emotions that they are all experiencing. Patts is dealing with the fact that Tai doesn't meet his needs, fails to verbally choose him, and the thing that tied them together has completely broken apart. He’s clearly self-destructing with every drink he takes and the way he angrily calls Tai’s bluff, but it’s all the safety of the privacy of his home. Tai is dealing his own internal battle with his (misplaced) expectation for his actions to be sufficient for Patts when he doesn't verbally express himself. The only witness to his turmoil being Duer. Meanwhile, Lomfon is battling with the emotional fallout of having chosen to test out his feelings with Tai while losing Tien. While he might have been aware of his own feelings for Tien, he was completely caught off-guard that those feelings had been reciprocated. He knows just how much his words hurt Tien and the tears are threatening to spill. They're all pained by the fallout, but they're keeping it internally hidden behind the safety of closed doors.

All three are burdened with the weight of their own personal responsibility that caused the falling out of their respective relationships, and they're navigating the significance of that. With all the introspection that they are doing and are having to do, they've isolated themselves, hiding all their emotions behind the safety of their home and not allowing them to be seen by prying eyes. The shots of them in their own home side by side only shows their individualized suffering which has lead to lack of shared understanding. They're all making choices that lead them to isolation and loneliness, failing to allow any support to come through the doors of their homes. It's a choice that they have taken, to internally sort their pain out without the help of anyone else.

Meanwhile Tien, who has no where else to go to, is left to sit on a bench outside, without the ability to change or wash away the pain that he incurred. For once, he's fully vulnerable. There's no amount of brashness or rudeness that can hide his own pain now. This time he can't keep his own emotions under a mask so he's not able to go comfort Tai because he's reached his limit. He can't compartmentalize anymore, because the one person he thought he could find a safe-haven in, hurt him the most.

He's emotionally exhausted and overloaded. He's stuck taking care of other's emotions, putting theirs before his own, leaving little time or space for him to wade through his own emotions. He doesn't allow himself to grieve his family life, the divorce affecting him just as much as it affected his brother, instead he sacrifices his emotional well-being. The lack of emotional respite has reared its ugly head and he's not able to even cry. In that moment he's just an empty shell, shutting down because how do you deal with a flood of emotions, all at once, when you did everything in your power to not have to? He had his walls built high, which Lomfon had started to breach only to find out that Lomfon, in his perspective, was only ever interested in his brother.

He's tired, he's worn out, he's given too much of himself already. The one respite, the one person that he thought he could turn to, was never really his. So he shuts down. There's no tears for him to cry, instead he shuts down his emotions as a means of self-preservation. Shutting down grants him protection from even more emotional turmoil and vulnerability. It's a means of self-preservation for Tien, because the only time he dares to think he means something to someone, he gets burnt. Abandoned, an afterthought, othered. Tien being stuck outside, his numbness and shell-shocked exterior, he's still choosing an outward expression in a public location where someone can come find him. Ironically, the lack of emotions is the most obvious and outward depiction of just how much in pain he is. Yet, nobody comes looking for him. Nobody ever does. Not his brother, not Lomfon, no one.

The one time that he's externally showing that there is something wrong, nobody comes searching for him. He's left on a bench made for two in the same wet clothes, outside and alone.

Final Thoughts

I think not only does the imagery of Tien outside wearing the same clothes as before while Patts, Lomfon and Tai had changed and washed up, in the warmth of the homes, really says a lot about where Tien is, emotionally, in comparison to them. Like @heretherebedork said, by putting himself second in every aspect of his life, he has also unintentionally hurt others [Lomfon in this case]. I don't even think Tien realized how emotionally exhausted he was this whole time, putting the happiness of his brother first, because he always distanced himself from the problems in order to be able to take care of his brother.

Tien is able to compartmentalize but he's not good at delving into his own emotions so he won't let himself ruminate in them. Instead, he's going to build his walls higher and tougher, to the point where he thinks he won't ever need to depend on anyone again. He'll go back to being the doting and hard-headed brother of Tai, not even seeking an apology for leaving him behind, for not checking up on him, because he'll never expect that out of his brother. He's Tai's emotional caretaker, not the other way around. This only reinforces his conditioning of independency and chronic escapism from his emotions, because the moment he needed and wanted someone else, nobody showed up.

This is coming a little late since life has been moving way too fast. I only have so many hours in a day, but I felt this was very important to discuss because it had been festering in my brain since last Saturday. It's going to be interesting to see in the last two episodes if all four of them can learn to grow out of the way they deal with their emotions and inner turmoil and learn to effectively communicate their needs.

#la pluie the series #la pluie #la pluie meta #la pluie analysis #la pluie thoughts #lomfontien #lomfon x tien #tien x lomfon #saengtien x lomfon #saengtai x lomfon #pattstai #patts x saengtai #phat x saengtai #saengtien #saengthian #I still have one more meta im working on for this episode adsfasdf #steph rambles #and i haven't even been able to watch step by step lol #thai bl #thai bl meta #steph overanalyzes

[syrena-del-mar]

Third-Child Syndrome: Birth Order Theory in La Pluie

Every week I come back to La Pluie and every episode I just leave it feeling more and more hurt on behalf of Tien. Honestly, I feel like I go into every episode with a bated breath, hoping that Tien will come out of it unscathed. The worst part is that nobody is purposefully inflicting the pain on him, it's simply a byproduct of his upbringing and surroundings.

There's something intriguing about his own placement in his family. He's neither the youngest nor the oldest, and even though he's technically a middle child alongside Tai, he doesn't have the unique attribute of hearing his soulmate when it rains. He's not resentful, but even he admits his own jealousy to Tai about having a soulmate out there. Not only is it a connection to a romantic partner, but arguably a connection with his own parents, who share the same condition.

In the family, his placement isn't distinctive, so he turns to being headstrong. He's loud. He's too much. He has to be if he wants to stand out in his family, yet he's told to learn to calm down even when he puts everyone's needs above his own. He's overlooked. Behind all his boisterousness, he's starting to crack under the pressure of being the middleman of the family and it's finally starting to become apparent.

Appearance of the Birth Order Theory in La Pluie

The birth order theory argues that within a family structure, each member has to adapt to the roles to ensure the longevity of the family by reducing competition and establishing cooperation; essentially, siblings taking on the role of Darwin's finches, evolution for survival of the family. The family dynamics that develop within childhood also develop into personality difference between siblings depending on birth order. Whether there is actual evidence, aside from anecdotal evidence, supporting this theory in its application on individuals in real life is mostly irrelevant in this case, because often you can find the application of this theory in character tropes.

Now immediately, just from the first episode of La Pluie, there is an established "pecking order" within the Saeng family while they're, presumably, having family night and watching a movie. The two oldest sons sitting right at the sides of both parents, sharing space with them at an equal level on the couch. The two youngest at the bottom, making themselves comfortable on the floor, with no where else to sit. Yet, as is commonly seen with the youngest child, Jan demands for the attention and love of his parents. Meanwhile, Tien remains in his section of the floor, no intention of being directly involved or connected with the rest of his family, aside from the hands of his oldest brother on his shoulders.

Not to mention the difference in the sibling order within the nuclear family can also be observed simply through the significance of each of the names the siblings have been given. [Thank you to @recentadultburnout for this great post providing us the meaning of all the names]. While all of his three brothers have astral names, we have Saengtien which means candlelight. Candlelight is typically symbolic of light/warmth in the darkness of life, the security that comes with the light it shines, and of sacrifice. The longer the wick burns, the more of the wax disappears. A flame on a candle can easily disappear into smoke if not well taken care of. If nothing else, it's a fitting name and depicts exactly what role he plays in his family.

Understanding the Third-Child Syndrome

The Third Child Syndrome is typically understood to be a way to describe the theory that the third-born child in a family of several siblings is typically going to be neglected in comparison to their older or younger siblings, due to the fact that parents are unable to fully provide the third-child with adequate attention and support. Typically, the third-born lacks in receiving a much of the parents attention, so they end up clamoring to get that missing attention by doing anything they can, whether that mean being the jokester of the family or developing negative behaviors [i.e., anger and screaming] to gain some of the missing attention.

The third child is, typically, born into a family that already has a structure that has been established, so they negotiate their sense of self to be able to establish harmonious relationships with their siblings and parents. They are found to have lower self-esteem due to a lack of uniqueness in their birth position. While the first child is doted on, the second child establishes their position by making one-to-one relationships in the family or forming teams of two, excluding the rest. Here, the third child instead gains attention by helping others first before himself. As a result, many times the third child may find themselves feeling distant, aloof, detached and emotionally neutral from the family and the troubles that they face. Consistently, the third child will choose to not 'take sides' when it comes with familial problems, so that they don't shake up the power relationships that have been created. Typically, they find comfort in the relationships they form outside of their family because it provides a sense of control that they lack in the family home.

Saengtien and His Constant Need to Self-Sacrifice

Now you can just doom scroll through the Saengtien tag and you'll find countless examinations of Tien and his constant need to put others before himself, particularly Tai. Well I'm going to add to that.

As I stated above, even when we see the Saeng family all together (prior to the divorce), we see that Tien takes the role of being sidelined, enjoying the hecticness of his family while being detached. Then when we reach the news of the divorce, a heavy topic, one that is very literally splitting the family apart with the sons being divided by the two parents. Made worse that they were soulmates that didn't work out, a 'promised' happily-ever-after that ultimately met its demise for one reason or another. We bear witness to the fall out of the choice that their parents made and how it affects the family, with both parents barely holding back their own emotions, Tai storming off, Neua and Jan is various stages of emotional turmoil. Yet, when we pan over to Tien, we see a trace of a grimace but no other reaction to the new.

Now I'm not saying that Tien didn't take the divorce as hard as the rest of his family. Yet, as the third-born, it's pretty obvious to see that even behind the 'ruckus' and 'boisterous' exterior that he takes on, he's likely the main mediator of the family. Rather than crying or getting angry about the news of the divorce, he is rather emotionally neutral while facing this news in comparison to the rest of his brothers. He likely compartmentalizes and reserves his own emotions, knowing badly everyone else is taking the news. Instead of also breaking down, he chases after Tai because he knew how hard Tai would take the news, as the only other member of the family with the same impairment.

Not to mention the small detail of having a notepad ready to go in his pocket. He's always prepared for his older brother. He doesn't add to the tragedy that is his family falling apart, instead he reaches out to make sure that his brother okay. He reassure Tai that he's not alone in that room, that he is just right outside for him. Instead of rejoining the rest of his family, Tien chooses to stay right by his side. Instead of seeking comfort from his other brothers, he gathers himself in a hug, knees to chest. The only support he receives is from that closed door. His priority was never his own comfort or coming to terms of what the divorce means for his family, instead it was to ensure that Tai wasn't suffering alone in the silence of his room.

Years later, we see that Tien's relationship with Tai is still strong. Tien verbally expresses and reassures Tai that if he tries to disappear, he will be the one that go after Tai and find him. We also see that he's the one that likely is the most in contact with the rest of the siblings. He's the one that brings up the idea of reaching out to their other brothers to find out what their mother wants. He's likely the main bridge of this family and he's more than aware of it. Tien plays the role well, while he may run his mouth and be a bit reckless, he's also perceptive. He's aware of how sensitive Tai's mental state is, how isolated his brother has made himself, so he verbally assures him that he will always be there for him and even invites him out to accompany him to the bookstore. He likely knows that Tai enjoys book-shopping and the invitation comes after he lets him know that their mother wants to meet.

Question is: Who would be the first to notice that Tien is also fragile behind the prickly exterior that he puts on? Who would notice if Tien ran away? Who would be the one to find him?

Negatives of Being the Third Child: Saengtien's Own Troubles

The negatives of a third child often deal with the over-willingness to sacrifice their sense-of-self to secure the needs of others. The more the third child cedes their personal identity to secure the happiness of others, the more they are likely to ignore their own pains until it becomes too late. Often Third-born children don't receive the same amount of praise or recognition as their older siblings, and at times, their younger children. Parents may be less demanding when it comes to the third child, but when the third child doesn't live up to expectation, they are often subject to harsher criticism from the family.

Now, Saengtien is brash and a loudmouth at times, but honestly when you one of four siblings... who wouldn't be? When you're compromising your own self for the happiness of others, you have to let go of that energy in other ways, Tien's way just happens to manifest through his rambunctious antics. The divorce occurred while Tien was still in high school, I assume from the uniform that he was wearing, so it's not farfetched that he likely coped by skipping school and that affected his grades. His mother uses his prior actions of acting up against him. It's not surprising that he has developed a level of brazenness when his own mother doesn't speak all that well of him (even when he's the one that got Tai to show up!)

I truly believe that the depiction of Tai and Tien's sibling relationship is very accurate to how many real siblings are. You can tell they love each other deeply under all that teasing, that said, words can hurt. Tai seems to have a rather dismissive attitude towards Tien when his more loudmouth personality seeps through, telling him that he needs to learn to calm down. Tai, in all likelihood, does not mean to hurt Tien or his feelings, but small seemingly insignificant, passing comments, especially made by the people that you love, can build and really harm one's self-esteem. More so when the person, that those small comments that are directed at, doesn't have a strong sense of self.

So Tien starts believing the negativity, that maybe he would be a better person if he was calmer, that maybe the grades that he receives are symbolic of what he's worth, that his passion for what he studies isn't enough, that his value is intrinsically tied with the grades he doesn't get. He internalizes every negative thing that people have said about him and he himself underestimates his own talent and passion, as a result. The explosion with Lomfon when they were first partnered together was only the tip of the iceberg of how Tien really sees himself.

Even when he's nagged at and told these slightly snide comments by the people that he loves, he still defends them. He asks Tai to hear their mother out, to give her a chance to talk instead of automatically storming out after hearing the news of her remarriage. He waves away Tai's comments regarding how he should calm down and instead invites him out to go to the bookstore. Words hurt, even more when the ones throwing them at you are your own. Even though he unconsciously taking them to heart, he's still the one playing mediator, speaking up for others, but never for himself.

For the loudmouth that everyone says Tien is, he never seems to be able to advocate for himself.

[@heretherebedork did a great break down on Tien's self-deprecation, which you can read here. Honestly though, go through their Tien x Lomfon tag because all their metas about them are amazing, week after week.]

A Middle-Child's Relationship with Love and Being Cared For

According to some studies, the middle child in relationships can be hyper-independent and self-reliant due to the their upbringing of not having an exact place to fit in. As a result, even though they are able to compromise well, they're often not able to clearly communicate their own needs and often end up hiding their own emotions to smooth any situation over. Since they have a tendency to bottle their feelings up and avoid confrontation, they often don't seek for comfort from others.

As much as Tien is able to speak on behalf of people and give rather decent advice when prompted or unprompted (i.e., "You got yourself in this mess. Unfuck it."), there's not many people lining up to be Tien's advocate or sounding board. While he takes on the role of being the caretaker, the mediator, his own needs end up on the backburner. Tien doesn't have that person to lean on; seemingly, everyone takes his headstrongness at face value without examining if it's a façade that Tien puts onto keep his deeper emotions in check.

Even though the first time Tien heard these words, an offering to have someone to lean on, was merely part of a script, it was words that Tien needed to hear. That there is someone out there that would be willing to listen to him. That his mere existence isn't solely to hear the complaints of others and that there is someone that would one day provide him the same comfort that he provides his family. That there is someone that will be there for him when he most needs it.

Tien has held it together so much better than anyone has given him credit for, yet his own family tends to treat him as simply the loud or the careless one. They care about him, but they don't necessarily care for him or his needs. His emotional needs are never quite put as a priority and the way he melted under Lomfon's gaze with scripted words, really shows how much he needs someone he can depend on, even if he didn't fully realize it himself.

Prior to Episode 8, each time that Tien has received any semblance of comfort with Lomfon has been due to different pretenses. A film project, a reason to quiet him down from arguing with a professor, a place to sleep while he's drunk. The care that he was being shown was never solely because Lomfon actually cared for Tien, rather there was a transaction that was taking place.

Lomfon is finally seeing a different side to Tien, beyond the impudent exterior but rather as someone who is under constant pressure. He saw a snippet of just how far Tien would go to protect Tai in episode 7, but episode 8 really puts into perspective for him just how much Tien cares for Tai. Like Tien had told Tai before, if he disappears, he would be the one to go after him; he does exactly that. It likely hurt Tien that much more that he didn't even consider that Tai had gone to the spot their parents had proposed, because he knows Tai so well and knows that a potential betrayal from Patts would break him. Yet, he didn't make the connection instantaneously. So Tien falls back on blaming himself, on calling himself the asshole. He believes that he bares the responsibility of taking care of Tai after seeing all the pain he has gone through and that he is a failure.

And for the second time, Lomfon is seeing just how self-deprecating and how fragile Tien actually is behind the sharp words that he throws. He sees just how much Tien is able to love and care for his brother, to the point that he would endanger himself to find him without a second thought. He realizes this and tells him to calm down. While mirroring what Tai had told Tien in episode 2, this time it's more than a gentle dig at Tien's personality and about how he reacts, but rather he states it so that they could put their heads together and figure out how to find Tai.

Lomfon is finally seeing and looking at Tien, likely starting to understand who Tien actually is under the prickly exterior. Unlike in the film project where Lomfon's offer of being there for Tian was simply scripted, this time Lomfon is saying it out of his own free-will. He's attempting to ground Tien, holding him back and up. No longer does Tien simply have a wooden door to lean on, instead he has someone that he loves showing AND telling him, that he can depend on him. So he turns into Lomfon's embrace, because for once he can't pretend that everything is alright, he can't mediate his way out of his brother missing. Tien is finally being offered comfort rather than offering it and he takes it, because he needs it to believe that everything will turn out alright. For the first time, he isn't left to deal with the mess of his life alone.

That's why it's going to hurt so much more when Tien find out that Lomfon has his own soulmate(s). Tien, who has only had a taste of what it means of loving someone and being cared for, would do anything to guarantee the happiness of others before his own.

Life imitates Art: Foreshadowing for the Third Child

I think I've probably killed the point that Tien is self-sacrificing at this point, but it scares me to think of how Tien is going to take finding out that Lomfon is the 'soulmate' of Tai and Patts. Especially since he's already clocked that Lomfon is at least a bit interested in Tai.

Tien has finally had a small (smidgen) taste of what it means to be cared for. He's already starting to come to terms that he might be in love with Lomfon. Yet, he's still the biggest advocate that those that lose their hearing and hear the voices of another person means that they are destined to be together.

Like @wen-kexing-apologist stated, the relationship between Lomfon is going to be interesting, because it's so different from all the relationships that we've seen La Pluie depict. While it would be your standard romance, of learning to love each other and the progression from that, in any other drama, it's far different in La Pluie. I wonder if it's possible to move on when you have someone (in this case two people, worse when one of them is your brother) stuck in your lover's head every single time it rains. And it rains a lot in Thailand. We've already seen how that turned out for Patts and Nara.

While Lomfon might be willing to contradict and find that it's some scientific phenomenon, and ultimately chose who he actually, I just can't imagine that Tien would come to terms with that notion very easily. I don't think the difficulty that Tien would face would be like that of Nara's own fears when she was with Patts, but rather because it wouldn't be shocking to see Tien struggle with feeling guilt. Tien is someone who has conditioned to ignore his own needs in favor of the happiness of others. Now add in that Lomfon might have 'soulmates' and one of him being his brother, he's might actually believe that he's robbing two people important to him of their potential happiness.

And that brings me to the scene that Lomfon and Tien worked together on for the film project. Originally, the only importance I attributed on the words Lomfon's character (Gonmek) offered to Tien's character (Tongfah) was that it was an offering a place where he could seek comfort, which I thought Tien needed to hear at the time. Now, going back to that scene, I caught that these words were being offered after Tongfah had disappeared from Gonmek's life for years and had gone without communication due to family issues that had arisen.

Even though Tien might fight for the happiness of his brother, he doesn't seem all that big in fighting for his own, because he likely believes that he'll be able create his own elsewhere (i.e., his film friend group) without hurting the happiness of those he holds dear. I hope that I'm making parallels out of nothing, but there's something to be said that all the lines that deal with "disappearing" have either been said by or Tien. If we take the Nora Roberts book that Tai was reading into consideration, it's not too far of a stretch to think Rafe MacKade was an allusion to Tien [see my Nora Roberts x La Pluie meta here]; Rafe had left his hometown for years prior to returning. It wouldn't be outrageous to find Tien extracting himself from Lomfon's life, especially due to his strong belief in the notion of soulmates and his willingness to sacrifice himself if it means the happiness of others. Similar to the Tongfah and Rafe MacKade, Tien might find himself leaving for his own reasons.

If Tien does end up leaving, I can only hope he finds his way back after finding his own happiness.

Final Thoughts

I'm not ready for the amount of pain that Tien is going to be subjected to. Almost every character that loses their hearing in the rain has discussed how lonely and alienating it can be, but I find the character most alienated to be Tien. For all his intensity and volume, he is the one that is never being heard, he's the one unintentionally isolated just due to mere circumstance. Still, he's the one that holds the most hope. With a story that surrounds love and soulmates, it's ironic that the strongest believer in the idea of soulmates is the one without one.

When Tien said, "If someone can hear your voice when it rains, and you get exactly that one's voice, if the hearing loss guy lacks a soulmate, his world will be filled with emptiness," all I could think about whether that is how he currently feels about his own love. This man is surrounded by soulmates, he grew up with the idea that soulmates were innately perfect for each other, the ultimate love. Yet, here he is, collateral to a divorce that isn't perfectly understandable, but he still believes strongly that the loss of hearing is bound to lead to your soulmate or else that just signifies desolation. I wonder if that's how he finds himself to be? Empty? Hollow? Purposeless? I can't help but think that he needs to hold onto the belief of soulmates to accept his own future.

I don't think that Lomfon's interest in Tai and his ability to hear Tai and Patts will breed any type of ill-will between Tai and Tien, but I can definitely see Tien running away from Lomfon. Running away from his feelings. Running away from what they could be. Instead, he'll do anything and everything to guarantee Tai's happiness, even if that means burying his own.

Would it be too much to ask for Saengnuea to also lightly threaten Lomfon on Tien’s behalf?

#La Pluie #la pluie the series #la pluie meta #saengtien x lomfon #tien x lomfon #lomfon x tien #saengtien #phat x saengtai #saengtai x lomfon #lomfontien #tienlomfon #lomfontian #thai bl #thai bl meta #thai series #thai drama #bl drama #bl meta #thai boy love #thai meta #la pluie the series meta #Tien is honestly the one that i find myself caring for the most #he's so alone and it hurts so much because he gives so much of himself away to a detriment #steph rants #steph meta #syrena-del-mar #If i thought my step by step meta was long this one just took the cake asdfas #only for tien honestly #i'm really sorry for how ridiculously long this is because I definitely didn't mean for it to turn out so long #Thank you for reading if you made it all the way through

[syrena-del-mar]

La Pluie meets Nora Roberts

This week we open up with a shot of Saengtai (who is slowly learning to believe that maybe having a "soulmate" isn't all that bad) reading Nora Roberts.

Now as a former teen Nora Roberts aficionado, I immediately clocked that Tai was reading the first two books of her MacKade Brother quadrology. For those that are unfamiliar with Nora Roberts and this series, it revolves around four brothers, with each brother having their own, separate novel. So it's a little on the nose that Saengtai would be reading this series out of the numerous ones that Nora Roberts has published, especially the books that are based on the oldest and second oldest of the four brothers.

All four novels of the MacKade brothers takes place in Antietam, which if you have any knowledge on the American Civil War, you will likely recognize for being home one of the bloodiest battles of the war. While each brother and their lovers attempt to forge a connection, there is a supernatural element with the restless souls that still haunt Antietam.

The one that Tai was reading was one Robert's bundles, which included only the first two novels, centering around the first two brothers, Rafe and Jared.

I'm going to give a brief synopsis of both books below, before doing a bare minimum dive of the significance I think La Pluie was attempting to draw.

The Return of Rafe MacKade

Here, the main protagonist is Rafe MacKade, who had left his hometown years prior after making a name for himself as the handsome, hot-headed, rebellious, good-for-nothing second-oldest MacKade brother. He's the black-sheep out of the four brothers, yet the incident which drove him away from Antietam, 10 years prior to his return, was one where he was attempting to protect a woman from her abusive boyfriend so he turned to punching the crap out of the man; but y'know how rumors develop in small towns. He returns to his hometown after 10 years as a successful businessman, something that townsfolk couldn't believe which shut them up about all the gossip they used to spread about him. He buys the local haunted house to turn it into a B&B, which in doing so leads him to meet his heroine, Regan, an antique dealer that is helping him decorate the B&B.

At first glance, Rafe and Regan seem to be complete opposites, with Rafe being a 'rough-around-the edges' type of guy and Regan, an elegant and classy dame. Rafe, while being the typical loud-mouth 'alpha-male' guy that is stereotypical in 20th century novellas, you come to find out is just a guy that is unable to fully articulate his own emotions and understand his developing feelings for Regan. Regan, on the other hand, for all her elegance, is a bit arrogant and unapologetically opinionated and definitely not looking to get into a steady relationship, much less with Rafe. They're both two incredibly stubborn individuals that are always butting heads, which leads to both miscommunication and a lack of communication, but they slowly start to learn that they actually need each other, even if they try to deny it.

The Pride of Jared MacKade

The second book revolves around Jared MacKade, who currently works as an attorney who, unlike his hot-headed brother Rafe, is much more level-headed and collected, yet just as prone to being purposefully ignorant to his romantic emotions. Jared is the oldest of the four brothers and had previously been married but ended up divorced, which lead to his distaste and shrewdness when it came to love. His story with his lead, Savannah, first starts when he meets her to let her know that her father had left her some inheritance. Savannah, having been disowned by her father as a teen and kicked to the curb due to her pregnancy, understandably pissed and initially wants nothing to with Jared.

Both Jared and Savannah are stubborn as mules, but their instant connection was undeniable. Jared was a traditionalist in love, which created some conflict due to Savannah's past and what she had to do as a teen mom to survive. The connection between them was palpable, within their second meeting they were already all over each other, making out. Yet, for all their connection, they're both initially a bit skeptical of doing more than toying around. Both Jared and Savannah had to overcome their own obstacles, Jared and his prejudice and Savannah and her hidden insecurities (that arose when she started to work alongside Regan), but despite their rocky road with love, they find a way to make it work.

La Pluie in connection to Rafe and Jared

There are some very obvious parallels that I believe La Pluie is attempting to draw with having Saengtai reading the MacKade tetralogy, but I also think there are some running themes that may be hinting at the future development for our Saeng brothers and their love interests, Phat and Lomfon.

First, the obvious parallel of the four MacKade brothers with the four Saeng brothers.

Second, the first novel, I'd like to argue, seems to hint at the future for Lomfon and Saengtien. From what we've seen so far, much like Rafe MacKade, Saengtien is perceived by almost everyone in his life to be brash, hot-headed, and rather incompetent. We've seen this from how Tien's own mother treats him and even from how Lomfon treated him in the first couple of episodes. Similar to Rafe's brashness, Tien's own brashness tends to spill out either in protection of his family, particularly Tai, or in the midst of his own confusion regarding what he wants. And just like Rafe, Tien is only starting to learn to comprehend the feelings that he's developing when he's with Lomfon. Tien has taken it upon himself to be the backbone for Tai and his family, that in turn he has sacrificed a part of himself. Instead he turns to his brashness as a mechanism to appease everyone, a shield and a distraction of the pain that he is also incurring while caring for everyone.

Lomfon on the other hand, while he seems to have a good grasp of his own self, seeing how he works independently but never seems to be ostracized, rather (seemingly) he chooses who he surrounds himself with, he also hides himself. Lomfon, similar to Regan is opinionated, especially when it comes to the idea that the one you hear during the rain is your soulmate. I'm sure in a society that has attempted to find reasoning to the deafness, that sentiment is likely taboo to express, yet he's willing to against the norm to create his own happiness, much like Regan did in opening her antique shop.

If Rafe's story is anything to go by, I wouldn't be surprised to see Lomfon strongly denying his developing feelings regarding Tien, as he's still primarily focused on Tai. Lomfon's seems to be developing some kind of feelings towards Tien, if the small head caresses and playing with Tien's hair is anything to go by. His feelings towards Tien seem to be slowly developing, even if he doesn't fully realize it. Meanwhile, I think it'll take Tien something big or in the heat of passion to get him to confess to Lomfon his growing feelings, especially once he realizes that Lomfon wants to get in between Tai and Phat. Tien, the ever-sacrificial loving brother that he is, will always put Tai and his happiness over his own, even if that means that he has to argue and destroy his budding friendship with Lomfon.

Tien let's himself be still, let's go of his prickly exterior, only when he's around Lomfon. He needs Lomfon, to provide the quiet energy that allows Tien to just exist for himself and nobody else. Now it's time for Lomfon to figure out how and why he needs Tien as well.

Frenemies-to-lovers is sometimes an even longer slow-burn than enemies-to-lovers, but it's okay, we can play the long game. I have hope that they'll get there.

Thirdly, the parallel of Jared and Saengtai, really comes to their demeanors and their anxiety that develops from impressions of failed love, yet they are still classic romantics at heart. Saengtai, similar to Jared in the beginning of his book, has been burned by the illusions of love. Yet, both, once they meet their soulmates, instantly feel some level of attraction to them. Their attraction is palpable to both of them, but attempting to overcome their own fears and prejudices, even when everything seems to be outwardly alright, can rock the boat.

It's going to be interesting here to see if Phat has some hidden insecurities that arise when he realizes that he has some potential competition. That just maybe Saengtai could be swayed by the man who shares the same interests and that solely being his soulmate may not be enough, even if, for all intents and purposes, he may be the right person for Tai.

Phat and Saengtai obviously feel a spark and found an immediate connection, but it'll be interesting to see if their relationship will end up in shambles, like Tai's parents, or will their bond only serve to be strengthened beyond the idea of just being soulmates.

#la pluie the series #phat x saengtai #phat x tai #la pluie #title tanatorn #thai bl drama #saengtien #lomfon #lomfon x tien #tien x lomfon #lomfontien #thai bl #i really don’t know where I was going with this in analysis my head was just screaming parallels #also I read all these books like a decade ago so apologies if I misremembered some parts of the MacKade books lmfaooo #also i like to add this series was one of the trashier series of nora roberts where there's like suggested r*pe and abuse so like.... #don't go into those books expecting to come out happy because i remember being infuriated at many parts #i may not know color theories but I know my trashy romance novels #la pluie meta #nora roberts

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Hands in La Pluie Ep 6

I've been on a pretty solid run of overfixating on and overanalyzing hand movement in the shows I have been watching. Which means it is time to talk about some things I noticed in today's episode of La Pluie. Y'all can thank @bengiyo for this, he convinced me to watch it.

Patts and Tai

The way Patts gripped Tai when Tai was on top of him, you could see the indents and wrinkles in the shirt excellent work 10/10.

But, as the scene progresses and he continues to move his hand across Tai's back he is also so…soft? gentle? with it too, like the way he kind of scratches Tai's back, but it doesn't feel like he's digging it, it feels and looks like he is being light with it.

(and this softness is conveyed in addition to the hands, in the way that Patts so carefully initiates the actual kiss.)

But what I found supremely interesting about the hands in this scene is that Tai and Patts have completely opposite hand work in this makeout scene.

Patts when moving his hand around Tai's body constantly has his fingers moving, they are bent, they are scratching, they are worming their way up the fabric of Tai's t-shirt. But his other hand, when Tai is on top of him at least, when he's trying to keep Tai in place. That hand is very rigid, his fingers don't bend. (you can see it in the image above)

CONVERSELY, Tai constantly has his fingers curled up, loose until he starts running his hand along Patts' back.

When Tai is aware of the movements he wants to do, when he decides he wants to run his hand along Patts' back, his fingers straighten out, he doesn't play with pressure, or sensation. He is only moving his palm. But his other hand, which he is using to keep his balance while sitting on Patts lap, that he isn't consciously thinking about, is almost in a fist.

And once Patts isn't trying to keep Tai in place on top of him, he lets go of Tai's shoulder and his fingers on his other hand go soft, curl, play with sensation, and move independently of Patts' palm (I recognize indepdently is a weird way to phrase it but I can't think of a better way)

When Patts is talking to Tai at the end of the kiss, when he says "if it was anyone else I would stop here, but I want to wait until you are comfortable" Tai isn't thinking about his hands touching Patts because he's so honed in on Patts' face and Patts' words that you can see the hand that is still around Patts' shoulder is soft, it's staying in place, he's not trying to touch Patts, but his middle finger dips down a bit in a way that makes contact with Patt's skin. And from the way the knuckle moves it looks like Tai ends up unconsciously playing with pressure in that moment.

And then of course they go and destroy me with Patts linking his arm underneath Tai's to make their arms a daisy chain before he rests his hands on top of Tai's. Superb.

Exquisite.

No notes.

Tien and Lomfon

We get another great hand scene with Tien and Lomfon in this episode.

So we as an audience are generally more aware of the pathway those two characters are following, than the characters themselves are. Whether or not they will get together remains to be seen, but I like the potential comparisons that could be made between Soul Mate love and non-soul mate love.

BUT

that's not the point!

The point is that Tien gets drunk, and collapses in to Lomfon's shoulder, and then proceeds to REST HIS HAND ON LOMFON'S KNEE AND THEN STROKE LOMFON'S KNEE WITH HIS THUMB

I don't have a gif of this, so you're just gonna have to trust me on this one, Tien is stroking Lomfon's knee in this shot. Talk about subconscious attraction there! The soft tenderness that Tien is giving Lomfon in just the way he's touching him before you even get to the way he is cuddled up, or the way he is talking to Lomfon.

And then Lomfon's hands are all over Tien when Tien shifts to sleep on Lomfon's lap.

Lomfon is incapable of keeping his hand still for more than a few seconds, and despite moving his hands up and down Tien's body, it doesn't read as sexual or really even tender, it reads as akward and uncertain, like he's not sure where he should be putting his hands, if he should be putting his hands.

Comparing to the earlier scene with Tai and Patts, where Patts literally never takes his hands off of Tai when he's moving them, Lomfon is always picking his hands up, moving his hands somewhere else, and then putting his hands down.

And even when he finally settles on stroking Tien's hair, he is making as little physical contact as possible, resting his forearm on Tien's arm and then only stroking Tien with the tips of his knuckles, as opposed to resting his entire hand in Tien's hair like he did earlier on in the scene before he continues to move his hand around Tien's arm.

There were lots of other really good hand moments in this episode, especially from Title's end. The way Tai is able to signal to Patts to let go of his hand, the way Tai fidgets with his hands when Patts is looking at him fondly when he shows up for the trip.

All this to say, hands belong to the gays and we stay winning, Happy Pride!!!

#la pluie #la pluie the series #phat x saengtai #phat x tai #saengtien x lomfon #lomfon x saengtien #that's right y'all w-k-a is back! with more essays about silly little gay shows!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

The Language of Love in La Pluie Ep. 8

Alright internet, my Pride events have ended, and I have returned home, so though I am a day late and a dollar short, you know what time it is….

Alright so I want to get a couple of smaller details out of the way first, as an appetizer before we get into the meaty parts of the episode. 

Gif from @ueasking

I counted and Bow and Kung hold hands in three separate scenes and that is enough evidence for me that they have fucked nasty. Moving on. 

There were two micromovements that I really appreciated in this episode, one from Lomfon and one from Patts. Unfortunately I will be bringing them to you in the form of screenshots because we *still* need people to be getting louder and gayer about this show and I am seeing a grossly low number of gifs for a show this fucking good. 

We know that Lomfon is interested in Tai, from the keychain he has, to the way that he immediately started questioning Tai’s connection to Patts vis a vis the soulmate thing, and those feelings Lomfon is still hung up on manifest in these very small ways. Namely, that Tai says he is bringing lunch to Patts and Lomfon’s head whips up

He looks a bit sad, and then he turns his head away so that he isn’t being obvious about this quiet devastation he has every time that he hears Tai talk about Patts. Because even though this show is clearly setting the stage of Lomfon and Tien to get together, London really needs to see that Tai understands that the hearing loss may not actually make you hear your “soulmate” and that Tai and Patts chose each other anyway, before he can truly allow himself to move on. 

By the by, one thing I am curious about with Lomfon is if now that he has heard Tai and Patts when it rained, if he will start changing his own mindset about soulmates. Kind of like a switcheroo, you know? Tai believes in soulmates so strongly that the divorce of his parents shook him to his core because it went his core belief that the hearing loss connects you to your soulmate, and he has learned throughout the course of this story and throughout the course of navigating his relationship to and with Patts that he cares less about whether or not the hearing loss connects to your soulmate, and more about the feelings he has for Patts. Lomfon believes so strongly that soulmates don’t exist because he has a crush on Tai, if he can now hear Tai, will he start believing that actually soulmates do exist and he and Tai are meant to be together, or will it further solidify his belief that soulmates don’t exist and he and Tai are meant to be together. Either way, he’s spent a total of like 1 minute of screen time with Tai so we know how this is gonna go, and it will not be pretty for Lomfon if he doesn’t wake up to his feelings for Tien soon. 

Ok, second micromovement is with Patts, who takes a microscopic step back when Nara tries to hand him the Bento Box

He wants to be fed by Tai, (or more accurately wants to eat Tai but I think we’ll be getting to that in Episode 9). Patts sees Nara and immediately knows why she is here. 

And what I love about Patts is that he isn’t mad or angry, he knows the ways in which his hearing loss and the potential of a soulmate has consistently harmed his relationship with Nara and how much she was willing to sacrifice of her own peace of mind to continue a relationship with Patts because she loves him. He loves her too, although not romantically anymore, and I know this because this is not the face of a man who is like “why the fuck is my ex coming over here when we very clearly separated?” This is the face of a man who knows precisely why she is here and is already feeling guilty about having to let Nara down once again, and confirm the fears she had while in their relationship about losing him to the stranger in his head. 

So in terms of body language, Patts cannot be more clear that he is no longer interested in Nara, and it is why I love that Tai explicitly tells Patts that he isn’t mad about what happened. 

Patts hands stay at his sides, he does not respond to any of her movements, he never touches her, he doesn’t deepen the kiss, he doesn’t even move his lips. If we look back at other examples of times he has kissed someone he loves, we know that this is not his standard operating procedure. Even in the flashback to his last kiss with Nara two months prior, he was in to the his, he was touching the back of her neck, he was an enthusiastic participant. Here, he lets her kiss him because he knows that Nara needs both a final confirmation that his feelings for her are no longer what they once were and a final goodbye so she can transition in to a new phase of her relationship to Patts, friends. (At least I hope they are able to remain friends, with the way Nara care about Tai’s wellbeing and the way she understands how important Tai is to Patts, I want more stories that allow exes to be friends.)

Tai sees them, drops his bisexual flag coded bento box he prepared for Patts and runs off to the mountain to spiral about his feelings about Patts, soulmates, and his sincerity of his connection to both of them. 

Patts finds the lunchbox, uses that veterinarian brain of his to make the connection and immediately starts looking for Tai. Which leads us to the first crack in Tien’s armor. Something I already talked about in my stray thoughts post because I was too busy being gay and my brain was too busy coming down from the high this episode brought me that I was not able to turn my analysis brain on.

We got Tien breaking down, running off to go do something brash and stupid…like climb a mountain with no preparation…like brother like brother I guess…and Lomfon chasing after him to make sure that he does not. 

Now, Tien says “Doi Mae Pilang. Soul mate.” with a concerned and searching tone in his voice, and Lomfon reacts by looking genuinely concerned back.

We can argue back and forth about whether or not this concern is for Tai or for Tien, but the fact remains that Lomfon’s eyes are laser focused on Tien. He is worried and waiting, and it takes less than a second for Lomfon to go chasing after Tien when he takes off towards the mountain. 

At which point we get our first intentional, certain touch from Lomfon to Tien. Whereas previously, we saw that Lomfon was struggling to figure out where and how to place himself, and his hands when Tien took a nap on him, here, he is does not get lost in his head. He grabs Tien firm by the arm

Gif from @ueasking

By the shoulders

Gif from @ueasking

By the chest

Gif from @liyazaki who is as much of a hands demon as I am

Who keeps Tien pressed closely too him, and tells him, firmly, sincerely that he is here for Tien 

Gif from @liyazaki from their before and after post

And though this moment is washed the fuck out because of the light, I love that effect explicitly because to me, this is a visual representation of the idea that Lomfon is bringing light and warmth in to Tien’s life. Or that he will be. In this scene Lomfon is acting like a guide to Tien, making sure that he does not run off and get himself hurt too, making sure that he knows that he has support, comforting him when he is upset. 

And while at first Tien is turned away from it, trying to break from it, running from it, eventually he melts. 

Gifs from @liyazaki

And Lomfon reacts initially with a brief moment of surprise, before once again placing all his attention on studying Tien. This is a moment of vulnerability for Tien, something we have not seen, and Lomfon is taking it in stride. In fact, the only people that Tien has really let himself lose control around has been Lomfon. He trusted Lomfon enough to get drunk around him, to take a nap on him, to cry in front of him. 

Even with Tai, while he allowed himself to be mad, and to hug his brother tightly, and to cry, Tai did not see and will not see the full on breakdown Tien had the previous day. Tien does not let Tai know how impacted he is by anything, because he has been acting as an emotional support for Tai for the past two years. As a fellow emotional laborer, I have an extremely difficult time asking people for help and an even harder time when it comes to people who I know are also emotional laborers. Tien has been doing a massive amount of emotional labor for Tai, and that means not letting Tai in to the entire depth of his own thoughts and feelings. At least, that’s part of my read on it. 

So what do we get from Lomfon’s physicality with Tien in this scene? When Lomfon places his hands on Tien, he does not move his fingers, not like Patts does with Tai. But that does not mean that there is no movement in these scenes. His head moves, he is turning his attention to Tien. His eyes move, he is analyzing Tien and trying to read his emotions, trying to adapt to this new version of Tien he has never seen before. Lomfon moves his body, he rocks with Tien when Tien starts to collapse, when they hug, Lomfon is moving with Tien, but his hands remain steady. When Tien hugs him at the end, he pats Tien’s back and while he’s not slapping him, he is certainly not patting his back gently/softly.  Lomfon is solid, stable, logical. He will pull Tien back when Tien’s passion escapes from its leash. He will ground Tien when the world feels like it’s falling out from under him. But he he will not be so rigid that Tien is unable to do things he wants/needs to, he can still move the way he needs to, when he wants to change his position, he breaks free easily from Lomfon’s grasp, when he turns to hug Lomfon, Lomfon is not expecting it but he leans in to the hug, he roll with it. He lets Tien feel what he needs to feel, but makes sure that Tien is safe. 

We head up the mountain.

Gratuitous inclusion of Tai’s hand because I am absolutely obsessed with those rings on his fingers. 

Anyway, 

Rain and as a result, water, are incredibly important as a theme of this show. First of all, water belongs to gay people, second of all, rain and as a result, water connect Tai and Patts together, connected Tai’s parents together, still connects them together because as far as we know they will continue to remain voices in each other’s heads. So it is incredibly apt that Tai, when walking up this mountain to get clarity on where he himself stands in his beliefs around soul mates, in his relationship to Patts, falls and lands in water. 

Again, @respectthepetty taught me to look out for lines as barriers and lines as connectors. Here we have Tai’s hand, keeping him connected to water, and his sweater has two likes that visually still block his hand from the rest of his body. He has not yet figured out what his connection with himself and his beliefs are yet, and therefore despite the fact he’s reaching for it. Reaching for that knowledge, dipping a finger into the cleansing waters, he still does not have the clarity he needs. 

Until Patts shows up. 

Touch, again, this time with Patts hand resting over Tai’s shoulder, with Tai’s head cradled in Patt’s arm, with Tai’s back leaning up against Patts’ leg. Patts’ hand brushing gently across Tai’s side. 

Tai, injured, in pain, and about to faint called out to the man he’d refused to talk to for two years, and got an answer, and then Tai fell silent once again. 

“I was so worried about you”

“I can always find you”

“We are soul mates” 

And Tai smiles at that because he doesn’t care anymore, because he doesn’t care if the rain is right, if soul mates are real, Patts is here, Patts was worried, Patts will find him, Patts is patient, and reliable, and caring, and Tai can allow himself to give in to loving him. 

And if you will entertain me for just a moment, I want you to scroll back up a little to the wideshots of Tai cradled in Patts’ arms, and I want you to look at the hand that is draped along Tai’s ribs, and I want you to see the way Patts fingers move. We know from their previous make out scenes that Patts is constantly moving his fingers, scratching, and pressing, and ghosting over Tai. Here too, we see the trend continue, of these small ways that Patts gives comfort to Tai. Whereas Lomfon’s movements with Tien are bigger, firmer, more solid, because Tien needs stability and reliability like that. Tien’s emotions are simple but big, needing to be contained. Patts’ movements are smaller, gentle, softer, because Tai needs patience and comfort. Tai’s emotions are more complicated but simmering, needing to be carefully and meticulously tended to. 

Patts carries Tai down the mountain.

And Tai owes Patts an explanation. You know what, no, not an explanation, a conversation. Tai is ready to talk about these thoughts he has been having, the fears and hesitations that have been bubbling just beneath the surface, close enough to Patts to see them, close enough for Patts to rein in his horniness because he can tell that Tai isn’t comfortable having that level of intimacy with him yet. Because Patts knows a little bit about Tai’s hesitations, he has heard twice now the story of Tai’s parents’ divorce. 

And though at first he gave Tai comfort, when he found him by the water, when he wasn’t conscious, when he was more disoriented, and though he carried Tai down the mountain. Here is where conversation grows serious, and Patts, not being certain of where Tai is going to land with all of this, keeps his hands to himself. Tai tells him about how seeing Patts and Nara kiss got him thinking about, worrying about, wether Patts was giving up a truly good thing with Nara under the assumption that he and Tai were just supposed to be together. Tai tells him about everything, about how much it fucking hurts to worry about all this soulmate business, to be scared of all this soulmate business. About halfway through this monologue Patts starts fidgeting with his own hands, whether that is to rub out the growing anxiety in him or to get out some of the need he has to touch Tai I am not certain, but you can tell the gears in his brain are turning.

And it is not until Tai after Tai says he is not mad about Patts and Nara and after he admits that all “it fucking hurts” to grapple with whether or not soulmates exist and what that means for him, where Patts finally reaches out to comfort Tai. 

Even when he doesn’t yet know where this conversation is going. Even when it is entirely possible that Patts has just risked his life to rescue Tai, carried him down the mountain, and may still be broken up with because Tai is scared or uncertain. Even here in this moment of limbo, Patts still reaches out to Tai to make sure Tai feels how much Patts cares for him. 

Then he doesn’t let go. His hand moves from Tai’s back, to Tai’s elbow, to Tai’s thigh, Patts never breaking his attention on Tai while Tai talks him through his realizations. 

Patts is honest too, and destroys the last remaining threads of doubt Tai had in this relationship by assuring Tai that regardless of whether or not soul mates exist, regardless of whether or not that telepathic link that people get somehow miraculously connects them with their soulmate, that Patts loves Tai and would love Tai anyway. Patts may call Tai his soul mate, but he doesn’t have to see Tai that way, and he doesn’t need to be seen that way by Tai in order for their relationship to work. 

The theme I am loving the most that is coming out of La Pluie centers around that subversion. Tai believed wholeheartedly in soulmates, and that belief was shattered before his very eyes with his parents. Patts sees Tai at the bus stop with a cat, and finds him cute, before Tai and Patts even know they are the voices in each other’s heads, there is an obvious attraction. They are interested in each other because they are interested in each other, not because of the hearing loss. Tai holds himself back from falling too deeply for Patts, for being too intimate with Patts because he cannot get over the idea that one day it might possibly fall apart. But Tai’s father himself told Patts that these relationships take work. All relationships take work. If soulmates exist, and if you are somehow connected to them in your head, and if one day you meet, and fall in love, you cannot rely on the knowledge that you are soulmates to save you from ruining a relationship. If you don’t talk, if you don’t compromise, if you aren’t honest, if you don’t work at it, you won’t make it out the other end. 

And again, that is if soulmates exist, and I think with Episode 8, La Pluie is planting a flag firmly in the “soulmates do not exist” camp. 

Tai relinquishes the ideas he had about soulmates, and finally allows himself to love Patts.

Going back to physicality you can see Patts visibly relax and smile after Tai tells him he is happy that Patts is there. At which point 

gif from @liyazaki

Patts gets playful and cuddly, his hands wrap familiarly around Tai’s waist, Patts’ head slots in perfectly right where it belongs on Tai’s shoulder, and Tai lets himself be enveloped. 

gif from @liyazaki

Patts breaks out the first couples kiss, with that soft, fast sniff kiss on Tai’s cheek, because despite the fact they have not yet officially established they are boyfriends, Patts and Tai know that something in their relationship has changed.

gif from @liyazaki

Tai has come a long way from his make out session with Patts in episode 6 where he barely moved his fingers. Now, Patts and Tai war silently over who gets to hold the other’s hand. 

gif from @liyazaki

And we get a lot of lovely non-verbal communication here, both of them exhausted, needing to sleep, pressed up against each other. With Tai being hugged from behind, in beautiful parallel to his brother. They say goodnight, but Tai spends these last few minutes of consciousness before falling asleep, gently comforting Patts by gently stroking his thumb along Patts’ hand. Because he knows that Patts was worried, and that Patts has been through a lot today, and because he loves Patts, and because he can. Because he can touch Patts, because he can have these little

moments of intimacy, where he can feel Patt’s breathing against his back, where he can give small moments of comfort to someone he cares about. 

They stay like that all night, and when morning comes, Tai is still holding on to Patts. Letting Patts know that he is still there, letting Patts know that he will keep a hold of him as long as he can. From here through the end of the episode, they are touching as much as possible. 

When Tai wakes up, and sits up, Patts slides over and the inside of his elbow makes contact with Tai’s arm

They sit here together, and they talk, and Patts finally asks the question he has been wanting to ask for awhile. 

And it’s funny, isn’t it? How everyone was rushing around them? How they were strangers and then soul mates and Tai and Patts were trying to figure out how and where they fit into each others lives while at the same time knowing that regardless of whether or not this worked, that they would always be in each other’s lives in some form, because of the hearing loss. Patts and Tai can talk about boundaries in the car soon after they have met, and Patts can meet Tai’s father, and they can refer to each other as soul mates, but what does that even mean? 

What did it mean to them? What did it mean to Tai? What it meant was that Tai had something to fear, and while Tien was running around referring to Patts as his brother-in-law, Patts and Tai were in a “testing phase” as it were. With obvious attraction between them, but without having put a label on their relationship because they didn’t know where they stood. Because Patts did not know where Tai stood. 

Will you be my boyfriend? Up through this episode, we have really only heard Patts and Tai refer to each other as soul mates. Because that is what society labels people connected through the rain as. In having this conversation on Doi Mae Pliang about how it doesn’t matter if they are soulmates, Patts would still choose Tai and in Patts asking if Tai will be his boyfriend, I will be curious to see if they refer to each other differently moving forward. If we can trust the trailer for this show, we know that Patts refers to Tai at least once as his boyfriend. I think it would be especially poignant if the show moves forward with Tai and Patts referring to each other only as ‘faen’ and stepping away from the soulmate label, because the show has told us from the beginning, it’s not about soulmates at all.

gifs from @liyazaki

(tagging the la pluie defense squad: @bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup because its about damn time she starts the soulmates don't exist show)

#la pluie #la pluie the series #patts x tai #patts x saengtai #pattstai #pee peerawich #title tanatorn #suar kritsanaphong #copter nuntapong #tien x lomfon #lomfon x tien #lomtien #lomfontien #yet again I find myself incapable of writing normal lengths of text about my silly little gay shows #and yet again i continue to hope that if i split the text up with lots of pretty pictures people won't realize how long my posts are

[neuroticbookworm]

Understanding the Core Four of La Pluie

Last Saturday, I screamed into this hellsite about the brilliance of La Pluie episode 10, and in the last couple of days, I read many amazing metas from my fellow La Pluie fiends that broke down all the well-executed dimensions of this episode (keep an eye out for this week’s La Pluie meta roundup from my pal @lurkingshan). When we last saw these characters in episode 9, Lomfon was running the hamster wheel in his brain, trying to figure out how to navigate his situation of hearing Saengtai (and Patts) when it rained. Tien was nursing a crush on Lomfon, and Tai and Patts had made things official and were stronger than ever. Then came episode 10, which turned everything upside down and left us speechless.

I loved and enjoyed every aspect of this episode: acting, plot development, cinematography, screenwriting, and more. But the one that blew me away the most was how the motivation and drive behind each character’s actions were perfectly in line with the character traits the show has already established. I initially wanted to write this post only to explore these traits, but after observing the La Pluie fandom discourse for the past week, I expanded it to include my defense of why every character in the La Pluie Core Four "deserves" the resolutions the show is poised to give them in the coming days.

Tien:

When Tien enters the pivotal conflict scene in the rain, he walks into a kiss between his brother and the guy he has a crush on. Absolutely heartbreaking. We see him stand still on the side, while Patts rushes to push Lomfon away from Tai and punch him repeatedly in the face (though not hard enough, as my friend @bengiyo argues here, and I fully agree. That ass-whooping should've been harder and longer). And after Patts and Tai walk away, Tien faces Lomfon, who just recklessly messed up the lives of everyone around him with no regard for anyone's feelings.

Here’s a quick list of Tien’s personality traits that were on display in this scene:

Tien is calm. He is pissed, he is rattled by the events, and yet he starts with a pretty calm "What did you mean?"

Tien is logical. He immediately counters Lomfon's explanation about his hearing loss and him being Saengtai's soulmate with, "You liar. I'm speaking now, and you can hear me."

Tien is a good communicator. He clearly confessed his feelings to Lomfon and how he thought his feelings were reciprocated, even when his heart was in tatters. He managed to be the most open and honest person out of everyone involved in this mess, and he hadn’t even done anything wrong. We would’ve completely understood his actions if he had just walked away after cussing out Lomfon, but that’s not the Tien we’ve seen and adored for the last nine episodes.

Tien is brave. He had been developing feelings for Lomfon for a while, and he thought his feelings were reciprocated. Being vulnerable and confessing your feelings to your crush is a nerve-wracking experience in its own right, and yet Tien confessed his feelings after Lomfon had just kissed his brother, potentially ruining any possibility of a relationship between them. For that alone, he is one of the bravest sonsofbitches I've seen in a BL so far.

I was not expecting to be surprised by Tien in this episode. I don’t exactly know what I thought his reaction would be to the Lomfon-sized wreaking ball I knew was coming, but I had only anticipated a heartbroken Tien. Instead, I got a Tien who was the only level-headed and rational person in this fight. And all of these wonderful traits were already established in the show's previous episodes:

Tien is one of the calmer Saengs. We have seen each of the Saeng brothers handle their parents' split very differently in the flashbacks. Saengtai and Saengchan are usually in tears and are physically reactive, whereas Saengtien and Saengnuea are the ones holding them back and comforting them.

Lomfon is not the only one who ran experiments to understand his feelings. Tien is also logical (albeit less neurotic and more sensible than Lomfon), and he worked through his sudden feelings for Lomfon after they held hands in the classroom by holding hands with his friends. He’s also open to opinions from others, as he talks to Tai about his feelings. Which makes him…

A good communicator. Tien also calls out Tai’s reluctance to communicate with his mother rationally, and to try and understand her side of things in the divorce and her relationship with her boyfriend, Nu.

Tien is an excellent subversion of the "playful and less mature younger sibling" character because, while he is easy-going and playful, he’s also the most emotionally intelligent and mature character out of the Core Four. Moving on to his elder, albeit much less emotionally mature brother, Tai.

Tai and Patts:

I’m analyzing Patts and Tai’s actions together because this way it’s easier to compare their words and actions towards each other in this episode, to their relationship dynamics that were established previously. The explosive fight and the subsequent breakup were shocking, but smart cookies like @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup and @ginnymoonbeam posited in our conversations, before the episode aired, that it was time for Patts’ frustrations and insecurities to rise to the surface. And boy did it rise up. This conflict between the primary couple has already been extensively analyzed by @lurkingshan here, so I will add my little observations on how Patts and Tai’s behavior in this fight is supported by the writing of the show so far.

@ginnymoonbeam has shared her thoughts on Tai’s avoidant personality, here. I want to add that Tai is also incredibly stubborn and hard to please. His father says so, to Patts during their dinner in episode 5.

The phrase "seems like an understanding person" is very telling, five episodes later. Tai also has the propensity to see life in black and white, especially when it comes to romance. His faith in soulmates is broken the moment he witnesses the end of a soulmate relationship. There is no room for explanation, as evidenced by his decision to ghost his soulmate for 2 years, and his coldness towards his mom, whom he has decided is the sole villain in their parents’ divorce. Simply put, he reads too much Nora Roberts (check out @syrena-del-mar’s excellent meta, La Pluie meets Nora Roberts).

Moving on to Patts. First off: no Patts hate is allowed in this house. I do not condone violence, but I also think the reasons behind the display of violence deserve to be talked about without the air of dismissal surrounding it (@shortpplfedup backs me up on this, here).

Patts had been understanding of two years of silence from Tai, and had been incredibly patient while working and finding solutions to Tai's fears around relationships and commitment. All the emotional labor in this relationship had been done by Patts, he verbalizes his desires and thoughts every time and is often left hanging by Tai, in silence. After Patts and Tai’s (supposed) heart-to-heart in Doi Mae Pliang (shout out to @indigostarfire and @lurkingshan for the incredible observation that Tai chose not to verbalize his answer to Patts’ question "Do you want to be my faen?", here and here), Patts must’ve felt that they are finally on solid ground, after years of uncertainty.

When Tai lied and hid his plans with Lomfon at the park, Patts must’ve felt devastated. And when he saw Lomfon kiss Tai, he finally snapped. He took out his anger on Lomfon, but as @bengiyo observed, Patts still managed to not leave a single bruise on Lomfon. His restraint is a sign that his frustration is not directed at Lomfon, but at Tai. Patts’ anger and Tai’s refusal to communicate openly escalate the fight further and further, until all the tension breaks at Tai’s room, with Patts agreeing to break up.

Something that stood out to me in this conflict is that the escalations were so well written that they did not feel like they were being done just for the sake of moving the plot along. Every question thrown at each other’s faces and every furious answer spit out in response felt natural and fluid. When Patts shows up at Tai’s door, he is not there with the intention of picking the fight back up. The first thing Tai asks Patts is, "Are you drunk?" and Patts tells him that he is not. They both know and understand how horribly this can go if one of them loses control. When Patts asks him "You still love me, don’t you?", Tai infuriatingly responds "This is exactly why I don’t want to talk to you".

And we see Patts getting angry at his response, shouting this:

To which Tai responds with this:

Tai did not utter those words to aggravate Patts. He truly believes that in an ideal, happy relationship, the couple must be completely compatible, so totally in sync that they will know all the answers to the questions that didn’t even need to be asked. Tai stumbled into a clear understanding of the Patts-Nara mess in episode 8 and told Patts that he was not mad about it. He did not ask questions or demand answers from Patts. Sometime during his deadly trek up Doi Mae Pliang, Tai decides that their love is enough to conquer whatever the universe throws at them. Not understanding, not communication, but love. That’s why Tai shuts down every time Patts demands an explanation; he thinks needing one means that Patts does not love him "the right way". And when Patts finally blurts out "Let’s breakup", we see him immediately absorb the weight of those words and backtrack. But for Tai, this is the final proof he needed to confirm that Patts is not right for him. So, he thanks Patts for the time they shared together and shuts the door in his face.

I sincerely hope Patts holds his ground and does not apologize unnecessarily to Tai. Tai is 100% in the wrong here; he needs a stern talking-to from someone who understands both Tai and how love and relationships actually work (my money is on Tai’s dad), and then he needs to do some very difficult but necessary introspection about his understanding of love. When he is finally done and realizes that he has made a massive mistake, I hope that Tai is the one who seeks out Patts to reconcile.

And finally, the messiest mess of the Core Four…

Lomfon:

Sigh. Oh Lomfon, you fucking disaster. I’ve been wary of you, I’ve been fascinated by you, and now I want to buy a ladder so I can climb on it and ring your head like a fucking bell till you forget the “How to acquire Tai in ten easy steps” list you have in your head.

There is no question in my mind that Lomfon fucked up spectacularly. He orchestrated a date with a man who was already taken, proceeded to reveal the truth about his soulmate connection in the most dramatic and emotionally destabilizing way possible, and then kissed him. And he does all this in the midst of developing feelings for this man’s brother.

Folks, I now have a confession to make. The nearly 2k words I had put before this section were to gently lure you into an "In defense of Lomfon" post.

The two major criticisms I’ve seen so far that are leveled against him are that he has disregarded Tien’s feelings and that he has been grossly manipulative in how he chose to reveal his soulmate connection to Tai. I will try to tackle both of them with an objective lens. My goal here is not to pose an explanation or argument for every shitty thing Lomfon has ever done in the show; it is just to present Lomfon’s traits, stripped from the (rightful) anger the fandom feels after the events of episode 10, so I can understand and accept the redemption the show might give him in the coming week.

Before I get into the specifics of the defense, I want to focus on the Keychain Acquisition scene we finally got in this episode. We see Tai run after his dad, and Tai suddenly notices Lomfon, who is focused on the papers in his hand and wearing headphones, about to walk into a busy street. He rushes to push Lomfon out of the way, tells him to be careful, and then runs after his dad again. From the moment Tai touches Lomfon, to the moment Lomfon looks up only to see Tai running back, this whole interaction takes about fifteen seconds. I counted them. Fifteen seconds.

When we watched this scene, @lurkingshan and I could not believe how absurdly mundane it was. The show has been teasing a connection between Tai and Lomfon for weeks, and this is it? Tai pushed him out of the way of a moving car and shouted an obligatory "be careful, it’s dangerous" in Lomfon’s general direction before going back to his own problems. But that’s all it took for Lomfon to decide that this mystery stranger is his "first love". He did not even get a proper glimpse of Tai because, by the time he looked up, Tai was already running. I wonder how much of Tai’s voice he actually registered, given the fact that he had to rip his earphones off first and that he was disoriented from being pushed to the ground.

I understand that teenagers have wild imaginations, but even for them, this is a level of delusion that is only achievable if any and all human contact is rare. I have held hands and gently pulled and pushed friends and family members out of the way countless times in my life while crossing a busy road. If Lomfon had saved the keychain as a reminder of the day he almost died before a kind stranger saved his life, this would be a completely different post. Since Lomfon attaches such an intense meaning to an event that is so commonplace (the showing-kindness-to-strangers part, not the almost getting-hit-by-a-car part), all this scene shows us is that Lomfon is utterly and pathetically lonely.

I’m not just reading this from the keychain scene. Since this show has some very clever writers, Lomfon’s "Social Loner" status is established from the very first episode. Before Tien meets Lomfon at the bookstore, we see Tien interact with his friends and his brother. In contrast to this, when we see Lomfon for the first time, he’s alone and is immediately picking a fight with Tien. Which leads to Lomfon meeting Tai for the very first time, and Tai intervening to break up the catfight. Tien even says this to Lomfon:

Remember when we were theorizing about Lomfon potentially knowing Tai before this incident, after the Keychain was introduced in episode 7? Because in episode 2, when he meets Tai at the coffee shop, he talks about Tai’s articles? And we were thinking, there’s no way he just stalked this person online after meeting him for about 2 minutes, just because he took his side. Nobody would be that obsessed, right? Right? Nope. This boy is really THAT obsessed, because he does not have a single friend who can take his side on a daily basis and normalize this experience for him.

With this information, some of Lomfon’s actions start making a little bit more sense, as his social isolation must make him very inept at reading normal social cues and emotions. He may fancy himself a logician, but he cannot factor feelings and emotions, his own or otherwise, into his calculations. I intentionally only used the word "obsession" when I talked about his feelings for Tai, because I know that he’s not pursuing Tai because he felt his heart flutter in his chest. He’s pursuing him because: 1. Tai took his side in the bookstore argument; 2. He then went home and stalked Tai on the internet and figured out that he’s a writer, which was interesting, because he likes... reading, I guess? (I’m feeling physical pain due to second-hand embarrassment from typing that sentence.) and 3. He found out that Tai has read some of his favorite books and figured that they must have the same passions and interests.

And here is my defense for the first criticism: When we consider just how little time he must’ve spent in his entire life, thinking about other people and their problems (because he must have the heartfelt and intimate connection it requires with only a rare few people), Lomfon does care for Tien. He held Tien back when he was recklessly rushing into a storm to save his brother. He calmed Tien down with very persuasive arguments that were both logical and empathetic. He respected Tien’s opinions enough to discuss the concept of soulmates with him twice (in episodes 7 and 10). During their discussion in episode 10, Tien tells him he doesn’t know whether he would choose his soulmate or someone he likes. After the scene, we see Lomfon sitting alone, ruminating on this thought for a few seconds. He asks his friend and possible crush for advice on what to do, and when he doesn’t get a concrete solution, he decides to give his way a try. And we see him make the call to invite Tien to lunch and a day at the park.

And what exactly was he trying to accomplish on this date, you may ask? Well, to paraphrase @bengiyo, he just wanted to run an experiment for "The Foot Pop" theory from The Princess Diaries. Matters of the heart are not something you can distil into equations. You either have to let the desire fully confront you, let it cloud your logical brain, and bravely let it guide you into your next steps. Or you can open up and be vulnerable about it with the people closest to you, ask for their opinions, and then take a decision that’s a bit more informed, yet firmly rooted in what you want based on what you feel. Both of these options are foreign to Lomfon. He has never solved problems this way, nor has he witnessed someone solving problems like this. So he recklessly kisses Tai, to prove to himself that all the calculations he had performed on his and Tai’s compatibility were right. He kisses Tai, and when he does not feel the butterflies, he pulls back, sees Tai’s stunned face, and immediately realizes that he has made a horrible, horrible mistake.

You know where he should’ve run the experiment, for better results? Riiiiiight here:

gif by the ever lovely @liyazaki

It could’ve been so simple and sweet. This loser just had to take the route that would cause the most damage.

Moving on to the second criticism that Lomfon is shady and manipulative in his actions in episode 10. I agree, he easily could’ve found a much less dramatic way to talk to Tai and Patts about this shared soulmate bond situation. But taking this straightforward route takes a lot of social courage and nuance, which Lomfon clearly does not have. If he and Patts had not been staring daggers since the moment they laid eyes on each other, the solution to their soulmate problem could’ve been calmly discussed at a table over breakfast. Since Lomfon decides to posture up to Patts as a romantic rival, with Patts already on edge about his intentions with Tai, Patts brusquely tells him to stay away from Tai. Which does not help matters one bit, and leads to Lomfon making all the wrong moves straight into disaster.

The biggest questions that were constantly in my head after this fiasco were "How the heck is Tien ever going to forgive him?". "Is a happily ever after even on the cards for Lomfon and Tien?". "Will it be believable and realistic if the writers give us one?".

I do not want to speculate on how the writers may choose to end this arc, because I want to ponder these questions purely based on what we know so far, without an ending of my choice already in my head, so I don’t skew my arguments to fit.

Lomfon may believe that Tai is the one who is most compatible with him, but he could not be more wrong. We have not seen any interactions between them where their personalities complement each other. We only see Tai in these interactions through Lomfon’s obsessive lens. But on the flip side, we see that Tien is rational and emotionally mature enough to give Lomfon an honest chance to explain himself and apologize. If Lomfon takes the time to look inward and understand his feelings for Tien, he will then convey them with sharp focus, and without any ambiguity. Because, let’s be honest, Lomfon is many things, but he is definitely not the type to prattle. And for Tien, who is also a straightforward and no-nonsense communicator, this approach might be the first step towards understanding and eventually forgiving Lomfon.

I know that I am skirting around a lot of Lomfon’s major fuckups on this road to redemption, but as I stated before, I’m not here to explain away all of his mistakes. I know Lomfon has some serious introspection and atonement in front of him. The only way he can ever hope for forgiveness is if he goes into this journey without hoping to be forgiven. He has to do it for the people that he has hurt, with no expectations in return.

Lomfon is not irredeemable. Does he deserve all the hate he is currently getting from the fandom? Yes. Did he deserve the ass-whooping? Hell yes. Will he also be worthy of Tien’s (and our) forgiveness if and when he reevaluates all of his actions and apologizes to him? Absolutely.

Shoutout to @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @wen-kexing-apologist, @ginnymoonbeam and @kyr-kun-chan for discussing their La Pluie thoughts and opinions with me, which helped coalesce my thoughts into this post.

Tagging @blmpff on request

#la pluie #la pluie the series #la pluie meta #pattstai #patts x saengtai #title tanatorn #tien x lomfon #pee peerawich #suar kritsanaphong #copter nuntapong