#thai boy love | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

syrena-del-mar · 11 months

Text

The Birth Order Theory: The Only Child in Step By Step

First things first, I already touched upon this idea about the presentation of the Birth Order Theory in Step by Step a bit while I was live-blogging Episode 9, but I was pretty much enamored with the episode so I don't think I was able to coherently state my thoughts. Episode 9 of Step by Step (in my opinion) has been one of the best so far in the whole series. Which is saying something since I've been enjoying this series immensely since the first episode. Granted, I am more forgiving regarding filming mistakes or even most timeline confusion as long as there are captivating characters that drive the story.

I already thought that most of the characters were all, generally, well fleshed out— my reservation being on Jane— but episode 9 really knocked it out of the park for me. What really stood out to me was the juxtaposition with how Jeng and Pat were able to deal with the fall out of Jeng's confession. I actually came to appreciate and understand Pat a lot more on why he reacts as he does because of this episode.

So we're back to the Birth Order Theory, but this time we're applying it to Step by Step, I promise to attempt to keep it a shorter read than my La Pluie Birth Order post.

Only Child Syndrome and the Lack of Sibling Effect on Pat

If you want a more substantive post on what Birth Order Theory actually encapsulates, you can click on my La Pluie post, where I dive into it a bit more, before proceeding. Essentially, it's a theory that reasons that the personality that you develop is affected by the order in which you were born into your family. There's no hard evidence to base its' accuracy, simply anecdotal, but for characters and stories we don't need the scientific evidence to be accurate.

The Only Child Syndrome is typically seen as a negative effect on children with no siblings. Austrian psychotherapist, Alfred Adler, suggests that while only children are at an advantage due to being the sole focus of the parents (both financially and emotionally), the "sibling deprivation" that they experience has a detrimental effect on the only child's personality since they lack interactions with their peers at home. Depending on the child's upbringing and the tactics that parents utilize, only children can struggle with anxiety and lack social skills at a higher rate than their peers that have siblings. Since only children's parents have no other children, they are often over-protected during their upbringing which can lead to overachieving children that struggle when it comes to healthily dealing with stress. They often have face difficulty sharing with peers, while also preferring to maintain direct communication in order to avoid misunderstandings.

Maybe it's just me, but I think it took me too many episodes to fully register that Pat was an only child. Personally, I believe it's because we typically see Pat being surrounded by people, especially when he's facing emotional turmoil. As a result, I didn't register how small his nuclear family was. This episode really highlighted how alone Pat is when he's not with his friends. While Jeng has his brother to depend on and cry with (not to mention the unseen sister), Pat has no other outlet than himself on a day-to-day basis. Even though he surrounds himself with friends, he goes home to a dark and empty house which contrasts Jeng, who has the choice of going home to his brother.

From what we are shown, Pat's parents are mostly absent from Pat's life. Pat's mother lives abroad, has remade her life after the divorce, has her own family and has resettled. Pat's father seems to be dating different people and likely traveling around. They both only really seem to physically reappear into Pat's life around his birthday from what they have mentioned. Life does move on and sometimes you 're not able to care for yourself as much as you like, it's important to come to terms with that and be able to navigate life regardless, but it does add another layer as to why Pat has been unable to successfully deal with his emotions. He's an only child with divorced parents. Add to the fact that the parents are all around the globe and not easily accessible, it really seems like he's the one that's always being left behind and abandoned, or at least not anyone's main priority. I'm sure this notion was only reinforced when Put chose his career over their relationship. Pat, while not immediately visible, seems to struggle with abandonment and just being alone.

I agree with Pat's parents that people entering and exiting your life is the natural cadence of life and that it does not determine the love that people have for each other. Yet, Pat is only 24 years old. This newfound realization of how he's unable to prioritize himself, plus the added emotional charge of breaking up with his boyfriend again (and on top of that, your boss confessing), is a lot to be able to really process. They're all part of the growing pains that you experience in your twenties. For the most part, Pat is navigating the growing pains alone. He doesn't have a sibling to learn from or with, so it adds a layer of hardship to that. At the end of the day, while Jeng can go back home to his brother (arguably, even his parents... though that's a whole conversation), Pat goes back to a house, where it's just him and his stuffed tiger (that is now in time-out somewhere in a drawer.)

Pat and his struggle with Conflict Resolution and Balancing Stress

Pat struggles with fully being able to express himself, we saw this when we first met him at the office, he was being ridiculously overworked. Not to mention the office rules and societal rules placed on subordinate employees, it's difficult enough to say no, but this, theoretically, also stems from being the only child in the family, where he was probably subject to more "adult influences" since he only had his parents growing up. He is an over-achiever, which we see with him having gained his Masters abroad before coming back to Thailand to work (even if he did initially run away after being abandoned by Put) so he's having to adjust. His struggle to fully express yourself correct, when you already have an issue saying no and standing up for yourself, is not going to magically disappear without putting effort to improve, even if you age.

Now I'm not saying that those moments of emotional outbursts that Pat was showing was not immature or unprofessional, but I think it really puts into perspective as to why he's reacting as he did. He's relatively young, at 24, and he's rather new in the workforce, having just finished his academic career. Everyone starts out with a level of professionality, which Pat originally was. Except his professionality ended with him becoming a doormat. The burnout of being used, combined with the new expectations that Jeng came in with, Pat's stress escalated. Pat's emotional outbursts were a direct result of not having positive coping methods. He went out with his friends and got absolutely trashed each time he was stressed. It's a rather troublesome way to manage his anxiety and stress, because it does not resolve his anxiety or stress that he already has.

I'm also not diminishing any relationships that an only child may form with friends and other loved ones, I'm a firm believer of found families, but I do think that sibling relationships, typically, guarantee a relationship that is emotionally charged and characterized with an intimacy that are not as easily formed with non-direct blood relatives [disclaimer: this assumption does not apply to every only child and I'm solely using this theory for application here.] When you have siblings that have a long history and intimate knowledge of who you are as a being, there are ample opportunities to provide both emotional and instrumental support with on another. Conflicts naturally arise in sibling relationships and as a child, you tend to learn different conflict management and resolution strategies. While only children can have the opportunity to learn the same skills, I think it can be profoundly different in how they learn and implement those skills into adulthood.

Here, when Pat is facing any professional or personal difficulties, he often turned to Ae (and Beam by default). When he was dealing with solely professional issues at work, he got accustomed to turning to Jeng for solutions or comfort. He coped by being with people and socializing with them (this includes his excessive drinking in social circles), rarely did we see 100% on his own dealing and mulling over his feelings. This time around, Ae, while still being a great friend, is just in a different stage of her life. She's engaged and has a baby on the way, this doesn't minimize the friendship, but it does signify a shift in the relationship dynamics of their friendship are bound to occur that comes with time. Plus he doesn't even have Jeng to depend on, because Jeng is the issue this time around. Even Chot, though he's a great friend, he's still a work friend. The time and understanding that is needed to nurture a friendship where Pat can fully open up to him is just not there yet. Pat, in this moment of his life, lacks that person that he can turn to and who truly understands him.

Final Thoughts

Both Jeng and Pat really shone in episode 9 and I completely agree on how heartbreaking it was to see Jeng be heartbroken, but I think Pat gets written off a bit too easily for my taste. I've seen people discuss Step-by-Step and simply cast Pat aside due to his "immaturity", I mean even I'm guilty of an eye-roll or two with some of his decisions, but episode 9 really fleshed him out.

Rather than immature, due to the negative connotation it carries, I'm starting to see him as inexperienced. He's still learning and his reactions are a result of all his life experiences. It's easy to overlook the reasoning as to why he reacts the way he does, especially when you have Jeng crying his heart out, but his reaction is a culmination of Pat's life experiences. He's just getting out of a break-up, he had no clue Jeng was not straight, he has abandonment issues, insecurity issues, and then Jeng is his boss of the same office that is filled with workers that harassed him. It's a lot to think about and he has a lot to lose if he just accepted Jeng rashly.

There's a proverb in Spanish, "Todos los hombres estamos hechos del mismo barro, pero no del mismo molde." Essentially, even if we're made of the same clay, we do not come from the same mold. Pat reactions start to make more sense when you look at the life experiences that have shaped him, instead of just simply thinking, "I would never act like that." Episode 9 really hit that message home this week.

#step by step ep 9 #step by step meta #step by step the series #jengpat #patjeng #jeng kittiphong #pat x jeng #jeng x pat #ben bunyapol #man trisanu #thai bl #that bl meta #thai boy love #thai series #thai bl meta #thai drama #Birth Order Theory #steph overanalyzes #steph rambles

61 notes · View notes

gunsatthaphan · 3 months

Text

⊹˚. ♡ ⊹˚.

#pit babe #pit babe the series #pit babe ep13 #babe x charlie #babecharlie #alanjeff #alan x jeff #pavel phoom #pavel naret #pooh krittin #pavelpooh #sailubpon #thai bl #bl drama #goodbye pit babe 🥺#i loved this show so much idc about the ppl who had shit to say about it #CB and AJ were such good couples and my boy Kenta was the mvp of the episode like it could not have been better lol #🧡

751 notes · View notes

thatsjustyou · 6 months

Text

Something about this pic is so intimate

#earth pirapat #mix sahaphap #mixxiw #earthmix #thai actor #thai bl #atots #1000 stars #a tale of thousand stars #cupids last wish #ossan's love th #ossan's love thailand #gmmtv actors #gmmtv boys #gmmtv #theyre so cute #cant get enough

715 notes · View notes

heretherebedork · 10 days

Text

I love Kao on every single level. I adore him. I don't know him but he can officially Do No Wrong. I have pledged undying love and loyalty to this character.

I love him even more. Asexual and eyebrow representation! A+ a hero for the ages. And in purple! @absolutebl GMMTV might not be doing endings but they are doing representation.

#wandee goodday #bl drama #asexual character #canon asexual character #thai drama #thai series #thai bl #thaibl #bl series #asian lgbtq dramas #asianlgbtqdramas #thai bl series #thai bl drama #gmmtv #gmmtv series #gmmtv bl #gmmtv boys #gmmtv 2024 #i am in love

259 notes · View notes

boysslove · 2 months

Text

Looks like fun, but perhaps there's a better location than the kitchen. :P

310 notes · View notes

allasianguys · 1 month

Text

We love Asian guys. #asianman #gayasian #boyslove #bl #asianboy #gayman #hotasianguys #allasianguys

#asian guy #asian man #hot asian guys #asian male models #asian muscle #gay asian #allasianguys #we love asian guys #hotasianguy #hot asian boys #thai man

257 notes · View notes

notkekey · 7 months

Text

Cuteness overload - Naughty Babe Special Clip ep6

#maxnat #max kornthas #nat natasitt #natasitt #naughty babe the series #thai bl #thai boys love #thai actor #thai series

480 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 17 days

Text

This Week in BL - Lesbians WIN & I'm excited about a Thai BL again!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 eps - Adaptation of Chinese novel Professional Body Double by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of KP was the clashing directing styles). The MDL description made it sound complicated af but actually it's not so bad. In fact it's GOOD.

Stuntman Joe dies on the job and wakes up in the body of another Joe who has an entirely different life. But our Joe just gets his new body right back into his old existence, full of friends, enemies, and one troublesome ex. Poom is absolutely killing it in the lead. Mek is perfectly cast as the Actor du Jerk. I’m not sold on Up’s bratty brokenhearted rich kid... yet. The show though, I like it. I like a one (two) night stand starting things off and I like a lot of morally gray characters. Fun fun!

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 8fin - The lesbian moms are the cutest thing in the world and my favorite thing this week. Bar none.

Summation:

It's about a host club and all the gay boys in it and some stuff that's not important because... PEOPLE OF EARTH WE HAVE A HONEST REP OF POLY IN A BL. Stand up and raise your hands in prayer to the Thai BL gods because sure as shit no one else was ever going to give this to us. For that alone this show gets 8/10 from me. Bonus Lesbian moms and great kisses.

Two Worlds (Thurs iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Say what you want about MaxNat all these years that they've been paired makes them great onscreen boyfriends. And you know me, I'm a total sucker for linguistic negotiation. Makes my heart go all mushy. That said, now that the leads are together, I’m really uninterested in all the drama around the ex-boyfriend/triangle. I'm glad this is only 10 eps.

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - They gave me the tiniest teaser for the kinky vampire BL that I have wanted my whole life. And now I'm just fucking annoyed with the rest of the show.

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 3-4 of 16 - Q & Toey are the only interesting thing going on. I actually didn’t like this pair in My School President, but I’m enjoying them here. The others are all fine but these two have my heart. I have questions like: did Phum ever get his shopping bags back? And why is Phum driving a different colored car half way through the ep?

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - The quality is good (it’s GMMTV) but the acting is... not. Still I loved that Moo just made the confession for both of them. Very in character. Does this plot remind anyone else of Footloose? Just me? Side couple was cute but now a bit too stalker for me.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 10 of 12 - It’s fantastic. Such a great show. We are so lucky. This is basically Taiwan’s The Eights Sense. I didn’t know they had it in them, but I’m really glad that they did.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - As JBL’s go this is way more my speed (than Alaska). It’s just so sweet and awkward but charming about it. The confession was so earnest.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) 2 of ? No MDL link - It’s very sexy this one. Not sure what Korea thinks it's doing, but I’m not mad about it.

Gray Shelter (Korea Thurs iQIYI) ep 5fin - summation: About a slacker nursing a crush on the (brief) older stepbrother who abandoned him. Upon finding him again he moves in with him, upends the mans lost suffering life. A dark gritty piece with confusing subs making it too chewy to really grok. It's trying to do too much for its length. The tension is real and the acting is good, it's just everything else stymied clean execution of the core concept. Frankly I spent this show expecting (and wanting them) to just fall into bed together - in a kind of desperate fight sex. It didn’t happen, and I’m disappointed by the non-ending we got. (Whether it’s going to have more in the series or not.) 7/10 I'm open to changing the rank if a part two fixes this one's flaws.

Boys Be Brave AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) ep 1-2 of 8 - Oh dear. Terrible hair. Jock nerd pairing. OCD baby cakes. Cohabitation trope. Killer side couple. Def unhinged.

At 25:00 in Alaska AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - I’m still genuinely not sure about this one. It’s just a little too awkward for me in the wrong way. I expect all Japanese BL to have a certain aura of awkwardness so I don’t know what it is about this one turnign me off. I do enjoy that we’re getting both stories, the one between the actors, and a little bit of the roles that they’re playing on screen but... yeah

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 7-8 of 12 - The leads finally had a moment but there is negative chemistry. Why am I watching this?

It's airing but...

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - 6 eps, when it's done, tell me if I should bother?

In case you missed it

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - finished its run but I won't be finishing it. Stays dropped.

GMMTV announced the second half of their 2024 line up. I got excited and picked my favorites, details + trailers here. Basically my ranking is:

The Heart Killers

ThamePo

Revamp

Sweet Tooth

Perfect 10 Liners

The Ex-Morning

Ossan’s Love Thailand

Next Week Looks Like This:

What happened?

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous pairing) and Best, news here. But will it actually air this month?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

I have adopted him. He is MINE. I love him, your honor. (The Stand In)

I love them SO MUCH. (Deep Night)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

157 notes · View notes

storm2rain · 7 months

Text

him yesterday and him today 😵‍💫 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY SANE IN THESE CONDITIONS

#boss chaikamon #love in the air #thai bl #boss #love in the air series #litaedit #lita #lita cast #love in the air cast #thai bl actors #thai bl series #thai men #thai boys love #thai drama #thai boy love #thai series #thai actor

44 notes · View notes

mooninagust · 2 years

Photo

vice versa ✦ two

#vice versa #viceversaedit #vice versa the series #thaidramaedit #thai dramas #thai bl #asianlgbtqdramas #thai boy love #nia edits

333 notes · View notes

syrena-del-mar · 11 months

Text

Third-Child Syndrome: Birth Order Theory in La Pluie

Every week I come back to La Pluie and every episode I just leave it feeling more and more hurt on behalf of Tien. Honestly, I feel like I go into every episode with a bated breath, hoping that Tien will come out of it unscathed. The worst part is that nobody is purposefully inflicting the pain on him, it's simply a byproduct of his upbringing and surroundings.

There's something intriguing about his own placement in his family. He's neither the youngest nor the oldest, and even though he's technically a middle child alongside Tai, he doesn't have the unique attribute of hearing his soulmate when it rains. He's not resentful, but even he admits his own jealousy to Tai about having a soulmate out there. Not only is it a connection to a romantic partner, but arguably a connection with his own parents, who share the same condition.

In the family, his placement isn't distinctive, so he turns to being headstrong. He's loud. He's too much. He has to be if he wants to stand out in his family, yet he's told to learn to calm down even when he puts everyone's needs above his own. He's overlooked. Behind all his boisterousness, he's starting to crack under the pressure of being the middleman of the family and it's finally starting to become apparent.

Appearance of the Birth Order Theory in La Pluie

The birth order theory argues that within a family structure, each member has to adapt to the roles to ensure the longevity of the family by reducing competition and establishing cooperation; essentially, siblings taking on the role of Darwin's finches, evolution for survival of the family. The family dynamics that develop within childhood also develop into personality difference between siblings depending on birth order. Whether there is actual evidence, aside from anecdotal evidence, supporting this theory in its application on individuals in real life is mostly irrelevant in this case, because often you can find the application of this theory in character tropes.

Now immediately, just from the first episode of La Pluie, there is an established "pecking order" within the Saeng family while they're, presumably, having family night and watching a movie. The two oldest sons sitting right at the sides of both parents, sharing space with them at an equal level on the couch. The two youngest at the bottom, making themselves comfortable on the floor, with no where else to sit. Yet, as is commonly seen with the youngest child, Jan demands for the attention and love of his parents. Meanwhile, Tien remains in his section of the floor, no intention of being directly involved or connected with the rest of his family, aside from the hands of his oldest brother on his shoulders.

Not to mention the difference in the sibling order within the nuclear family can also be observed simply through the significance of each of the names the siblings have been given. [Thank you to @recentadultburnout for this great post providing us the meaning of all the names]. While all of his three brothers have astral names, we have Saengtien which means candlelight. Candlelight is typically symbolic of light/warmth in the darkness of life, the security that comes with the light it shines, and of sacrifice. The longer the wick burns, the more of the wax disappears. A flame on a candle can easily disappear into smoke if not well taken care of. If nothing else, it's a fitting name and depicts exactly what role he plays in his family.

Understanding the Third-Child Syndrome

The Third Child Syndrome is typically understood to be a way to describe the theory that the third-born child in a family of several siblings is typically going to be neglected in comparison to their older or younger siblings, due to the fact that parents are unable to fully provide the third-child with adequate attention and support. Typically, the third-born lacks in receiving a much of the parents attention, so they end up clamoring to get that missing attention by doing anything they can, whether that mean being the jokester of the family or developing negative behaviors [i.e., anger and screaming] to gain some of the missing attention.

The third child is, typically, born into a family that already has a structure that has been established, so they negotiate their sense of self to be able to establish harmonious relationships with their siblings and parents. They are found to have lower self-esteem due to a lack of uniqueness in their birth position. While the first child is doted on, the second child establishes their position by making one-to-one relationships in the family or forming teams of two, excluding the rest. Here, the third child instead gains attention by helping others first before himself. As a result, many times the third child may find themselves feeling distant, aloof, detached and emotionally neutral from the family and the troubles that they face. Consistently, the third child will choose to not 'take sides' when it comes with familial problems, so that they don't shake up the power relationships that have been created. Typically, they find comfort in the relationships they form outside of their family because it provides a sense of control that they lack in the family home.

Saengtien and His Constant Need to Self-Sacrifice

Now you can just doom scroll through the Saengtien tag and you'll find countless examinations of Tien and his constant need to put others before himself, particularly Tai. Well I'm going to add to that.

As I stated above, even when we see the Saeng family all together (prior to the divorce), we see that Tien takes the role of being sidelined, enjoying the hecticness of his family while being detached. Then when we reach the news of the divorce, a heavy topic, one that is very literally splitting the family apart with the sons being divided by the two parents. Made worse that they were soulmates that didn't work out, a 'promised' happily-ever-after that ultimately met its demise for one reason or another. We bear witness to the fall out of the choice that their parents made and how it affects the family, with both parents barely holding back their own emotions, Tai storming off, Neua and Jan is various stages of emotional turmoil. Yet, when we pan over to Tien, we see a trace of a grimace but no other reaction to the new.

Now I'm not saying that Tien didn't take the divorce as hard as the rest of his family. Yet, as the third-born, it's pretty obvious to see that even behind the 'ruckus' and 'boisterous' exterior that he takes on, he's likely the main mediator of the family. Rather than crying or getting angry about the news of the divorce, he is rather emotionally neutral while facing this news in comparison to the rest of his brothers. He likely compartmentalizes and reserves his own emotions, knowing badly everyone else is taking the news. Instead of also breaking down, he chases after Tai because he knew how hard Tai would take the news, as the only other member of the family with the same impairment.

Not to mention the small detail of having a notepad ready to go in his pocket. He's always prepared for his older brother. He doesn't add to the tragedy that is his family falling apart, instead he reaches out to make sure that his brother okay. He reassure Tai that he's not alone in that room, that he is just right outside for him. Instead of rejoining the rest of his family, Tien chooses to stay right by his side. Instead of seeking comfort from his other brothers, he gathers himself in a hug, knees to chest. The only support he receives is from that closed door. His priority was never his own comfort or coming to terms of what the divorce means for his family, instead it was to ensure that Tai wasn't suffering alone in the silence of his room.

Years later, we see that Tien's relationship with Tai is still strong. Tien verbally expresses and reassures Tai that if he tries to disappear, he will be the one that go after Tai and find him. We also see that he's the one that likely is the most in contact with the rest of the siblings. He's the one that brings up the idea of reaching out to their other brothers to find out what their mother wants. He's likely the main bridge of this family and he's more than aware of it. Tien plays the role well, while he may run his mouth and be a bit reckless, he's also perceptive. He's aware of how sensitive Tai's mental state is, how isolated his brother has made himself, so he verbally assures him that he will always be there for him and even invites him out to accompany him to the bookstore. He likely knows that Tai enjoys book-shopping and the invitation comes after he lets him know that their mother wants to meet.

Question is: Who would be the first to notice that Tien is also fragile behind the prickly exterior that he puts on? Who would notice if Tien ran away? Who would be the one to find him?

Negatives of Being the Third Child: Saengtien's Own Troubles

The negatives of a third child often deal with the over-willingness to sacrifice their sense-of-self to secure the needs of others. The more the third child cedes their personal identity to secure the happiness of others, the more they are likely to ignore their own pains until it becomes too late. Often Third-born children don't receive the same amount of praise or recognition as their older siblings, and at times, their younger children. Parents may be less demanding when it comes to the third child, but when the third child doesn't live up to expectation, they are often subject to harsher criticism from the family.

Now, Saengtien is brash and a loudmouth at times, but honestly when you one of four siblings... who wouldn't be? When you're compromising your own self for the happiness of others, you have to let go of that energy in other ways, Tien's way just happens to manifest through his rambunctious antics. The divorce occurred while Tien was still in high school, I assume from the uniform that he was wearing, so it's not farfetched that he likely coped by skipping school and that affected his grades. His mother uses his prior actions of acting up against him. It's not surprising that he has developed a level of brazenness when his own mother doesn't speak all that well of him (even when he's the one that got Tai to show up!)

I truly believe that the depiction of Tai and Tien's sibling relationship is very accurate to how many real siblings are. You can tell they love each other deeply under all that teasing, that said, words can hurt. Tai seems to have a rather dismissive attitude towards Tien when his more loudmouth personality seeps through, telling him that he needs to learn to calm down. Tai, in all likelihood, does not mean to hurt Tien or his feelings, but small seemingly insignificant, passing comments, especially made by the people that you love, can build and really harm one's self-esteem. More so when the person, that those small comments that are directed at, doesn't have a strong sense of self.

So Tien starts believing the negativity, that maybe he would be a better person if he was calmer, that maybe the grades that he receives are symbolic of what he's worth, that his passion for what he studies isn't enough, that his value is intrinsically tied with the grades he doesn't get. He internalizes every negative thing that people have said about him and he himself underestimates his own talent and passion, as a result. The explosion with Lomfon when they were first partnered together was only the tip of the iceberg of how Tien really sees himself.

Even when he's nagged at and told these slightly snide comments by the people that he loves, he still defends them. He asks Tai to hear their mother out, to give her a chance to talk instead of automatically storming out after hearing the news of her remarriage. He waves away Tai's comments regarding how he should calm down and instead invites him out to go to the bookstore. Words hurt, even more when the ones throwing them at you are your own. Even though he unconsciously taking them to heart, he's still the one playing mediator, speaking up for others, but never for himself.

For the loudmouth that everyone says Tien is, he never seems to be able to advocate for himself.

[@heretherebedork did a great break down on Tien's self-deprecation, which you can read here. Honestly though, go through their Tien x Lomfon tag because all their metas about them are amazing, week after week.]

A Middle-Child's Relationship with Love and Being Cared For

According to some studies, the middle child in relationships can be hyper-independent and self-reliant due to the their upbringing of not having an exact place to fit in. As a result, even though they are able to compromise well, they're often not able to clearly communicate their own needs and often end up hiding their own emotions to smooth any situation over. Since they have a tendency to bottle their feelings up and avoid confrontation, they often don't seek for comfort from others.

As much as Tien is able to speak on behalf of people and give rather decent advice when prompted or unprompted (i.e., "You got yourself in this mess. Unfuck it."), there's not many people lining up to be Tien's advocate or sounding board. While he takes on the role of being the caretaker, the mediator, his own needs end up on the backburner. Tien doesn't have that person to lean on; seemingly, everyone takes his headstrongness at face value without examining if it's a façade that Tien puts onto keep his deeper emotions in check.

Even though the first time Tien heard these words, an offering to have someone to lean on, was merely part of a script, it was words that Tien needed to hear. That there is someone out there that would be willing to listen to him. That his mere existence isn't solely to hear the complaints of others and that there is someone that would one day provide him the same comfort that he provides his family. That there is someone that will be there for him when he most needs it.

Tien has held it together so much better than anyone has given him credit for, yet his own family tends to treat him as simply the loud or the careless one. They care about him, but they don't necessarily care for him or his needs. His emotional needs are never quite put as a priority and the way he melted under Lomfon's gaze with scripted words, really shows how much he needs someone he can depend on, even if he didn't fully realize it himself.

Prior to Episode 8, each time that Tien has received any semblance of comfort with Lomfon has been due to different pretenses. A film project, a reason to quiet him down from arguing with a professor, a place to sleep while he's drunk. The care that he was being shown was never solely because Lomfon actually cared for Tien, rather there was a transaction that was taking place.

Lomfon is finally seeing a different side to Tien, beyond the impudent exterior but rather as someone who is under constant pressure. He saw a snippet of just how far Tien would go to protect Tai in episode 7, but episode 8 really puts into perspective for him just how much Tien cares for Tai. Like Tien had told Tai before, if he disappears, he would be the one to go after him; he does exactly that. It likely hurt Tien that much more that he didn't even consider that Tai had gone to the spot their parents had proposed, because he knows Tai so well and knows that a potential betrayal from Patts would break him. Yet, he didn't make the connection instantaneously. So Tien falls back on blaming himself, on calling himself the asshole. He believes that he bares the responsibility of taking care of Tai after seeing all the pain he has gone through and that he is a failure.

And for the second time, Lomfon is seeing just how self-deprecating and how fragile Tien actually is behind the sharp words that he throws. He sees just how much Tien is able to love and care for his brother, to the point that he would endanger himself to find him without a second thought. He realizes this and tells him to calm down. While mirroring what Tai had told Tien in episode 2, this time it's more than a gentle dig at Tien's personality and about how he reacts, but rather he states it so that they could put their heads together and figure out how to find Tai.

Lomfon is finally seeing and looking at Tien, likely starting to understand who Tien actually is under the prickly exterior. Unlike in the film project where Lomfon's offer of being there for Tian was simply scripted, this time Lomfon is saying it out of his own free-will. He's attempting to ground Tien, holding him back and up. No longer does Tien simply have a wooden door to lean on, instead he has someone that he loves showing AND telling him, that he can depend on him. So he turns into Lomfon's embrace, because for once he can't pretend that everything is alright, he can't mediate his way out of his brother missing. Tien is finally being offered comfort rather than offering it and he takes it, because he needs it to believe that everything will turn out alright. For the first time, he isn't left to deal with the mess of his life alone.

That's why it's going to hurt so much more when Tien find out that Lomfon has his own soulmate(s). Tien, who has only had a taste of what it means of loving someone and being cared for, would do anything to guarantee the happiness of others before his own.

Life imitates Art: Foreshadowing for the Third Child

I think I've probably killed the point that Tien is self-sacrificing at this point, but it scares me to think of how Tien is going to take finding out that Lomfon is the 'soulmate' of Tai and Patts. Especially since he's already clocked that Lomfon is at least a bit interested in Tai.

Tien has finally had a small (smidgen) taste of what it means to be cared for. He's already starting to come to terms that he might be in love with Lomfon. Yet, he's still the biggest advocate that those that lose their hearing and hear the voices of another person means that they are destined to be together.

Like @wen-kexing-apologist stated, the relationship between Lomfon is going to be interesting, because it's so different from all the relationships that we've seen La Pluie depict. While it would be your standard romance, of learning to love each other and the progression from that, in any other drama, it's far different in La Pluie. I wonder if it's possible to move on when you have someone (in this case two people, worse when one of them is your brother) stuck in your lover's head every single time it rains. And it rains a lot in Thailand. We've already seen how that turned out for Patts and Nara.

While Lomfon might be willing to contradict and find that it's some scientific phenomenon, and ultimately chose who he actually, I just can't imagine that Tien would come to terms with that notion very easily. I don't think the difficulty that Tien would face would be like that of Nara's own fears when she was with Patts, but rather because it wouldn't be shocking to see Tien struggle with feeling guilt. Tien is someone who has conditioned to ignore his own needs in favor of the happiness of others. Now add in that Lomfon might have 'soulmates' and one of him being his brother, he's might actually believe that he's robbing two people important to him of their potential happiness.

And that brings me to the scene that Lomfon and Tien worked together on for the film project. Originally, the only importance I attributed on the words Lomfon's character (Gonmek) offered to Tien's character (Tongfah) was that it was an offering a place where he could seek comfort, which I thought Tien needed to hear at the time. Now, going back to that scene, I caught that these words were being offered after Tongfah had disappeared from Gonmek's life for years and had gone without communication due to family issues that had arisen.

Even though Tien might fight for the happiness of his brother, he doesn't seem all that big in fighting for his own, because he likely believes that he'll be able create his own elsewhere (i.e., his film friend group) without hurting the happiness of those he holds dear. I hope that I'm making parallels out of nothing, but there's something to be said that all the lines that deal with "disappearing" have either been said by or Tien. If we take the Nora Roberts book that Tai was reading into consideration, it's not too far of a stretch to think Rafe MacKade was an allusion to Tien [see my Nora Roberts x La Pluie meta here]; Rafe had left his hometown for years prior to returning. It wouldn't be outrageous to find Tien extracting himself from Lomfon's life, especially due to his strong belief in the notion of soulmates and his willingness to sacrifice himself if it means the happiness of others. Similar to the Tongfah and Rafe MacKade, Tien might find himself leaving for his own reasons.

If Tien does end up leaving, I can only hope he finds his way back after finding his own happiness.

Final Thoughts

I'm not ready for the amount of pain that Tien is going to be subjected to. Almost every character that loses their hearing in the rain has discussed how lonely and alienating it can be, but I find the character most alienated to be Tien. For all his intensity and volume, he is the one that is never being heard, he's the one unintentionally isolated just due to mere circumstance. Still, he's the one that holds the most hope. With a story that surrounds love and soulmates, it's ironic that the strongest believer in the idea of soulmates is the one without one.

When Tien said, "If someone can hear your voice when it rains, and you get exactly that one's voice, if the hearing loss guy lacks a soulmate, his world will be filled with emptiness," all I could think about whether that is how he currently feels about his own love. This man is surrounded by soulmates, he grew up with the idea that soulmates were innately perfect for each other, the ultimate love. Yet, here he is, collateral to a divorce that isn't perfectly understandable, but he still believes strongly that the loss of hearing is bound to lead to your soulmate or else that just signifies desolation. I wonder if that's how he finds himself to be? Empty? Hollow? Purposeless? I can't help but think that he needs to hold onto the belief of soulmates to accept his own future.

I don't think that Lomfon's interest in Tai and his ability to hear Tai and Patts will breed any type of ill-will between Tai and Tien, but I can definitely see Tien running away from Lomfon. Running away from his feelings. Running away from what they could be. Instead, he'll do anything and everything to guarantee Tai's happiness, even if that means burying his own.

Would it be too much to ask for Saengnuea to also lightly threaten Lomfon on Tien’s behalf?

52 notes · View notes