#same with the note situation lol

[readbyred]

Hi :)

Heard you were accepting dps requests so what about a charlie fic

I feel like charlie is the type of person to flirt with everyone and ask anyone he finds attractive out except when it comes to the person he actually has feelings for so what about charlie x reader where reader has been waiting since before they graduated for him to ask her out and as soon as she decides to move on charlie gets all sad and jealous and confesses and yknow how it goes

Would love to see this in a fic ♡

Not a fic blog (maybe someday), but I can give you a headcanon (so, shorter and no dialogue) though… I did get a bit inspired, so its longer than my usual writing

I think as a teen he was the sort of person to try and prove he’s popular with people. It would feel bad to lump you in with that. Like, he actually liked you, so it's different. Not that he has no respect for people he flirts with, but he knows it isn't anything serious. He was just a teen guy trying to impress his friends and get the experience he was prevented from getting (with his strict school and all). Especially with his position in the friend group and all.

Still, he hoped to have something serious with you one day. One day when he gets the courage, when he feels like it will work out and he won't jeopardize the whole friend group because of his crush.

But that day didn't come when he was at Welton. Then he had other things to worry about, considering his departure from the school. It was a hard time for everybody. But no matter the odds the poets kept in touch, as much as they could. And that included you.

Only, as years passed you started losing hope. I mean, if he wanted to he would, right? It felt so helplessly pathetic to be waiting for Charlie when it seemed that he had never and will never return your feelings.

When you were younger, it felt like the end of the world. Like you were destined to be alone. Oh, how many nights you’ve spent with Knox, wallowing in self-pity after Chris left him. Just sitting there with your buddy, talking about how you should go to a monastery. Not out of a spiritual need, but because there would be no one ever to love you. Guess you were a bit dramatic back then. It took Pitts many tries to smack some sense into you but you matured eventually.

When college approached, you were ready to meet new people. Although you weren't in the same school together anymore, you made a promise with the poets to keep seeing each other regularly.

Meanwhile, you met Mark. A true romantic soul with quite a witty humour. And Jack who would always treat you so sweetly and had the same interests as you. And Adam who walked you to the dorms every day. And Matt who had so much passion for life. You opened yourself up to people. Started meeting up with others.

Suddenly, you’d bring up your dates every meeting. Not to rub it in, just to recall funny moments. Like when a rainstorm caught you and Jack in the middle of a walk and you raced to the dorms. Or how you and Adam got lost in the park at night because neither of you lived in that city before. Knox would encourage you to spill every detail.

Surprisingly, the more you talked about your love life, the less you heard Charlie talk about his. By winter break you haven't heard him talk about any girl in weeks. At first you didn't notice. Then you figured that maybe he just fell for someone who wasn't as easy to charm so he didn't have anything to brag about yet.

The thought of him being so head over hills for this unnamed person made something inside you feel empty. You knew the feeling well from high school and you detested yourself for still having those sorts of thoughts and feelings. But you decided to let it all fizzle out.

You had better things to think about too. There was a ball coming around. Some fancy tradition at your university. Before you knew it, you had quite a few invitations. The sweetest one was from Jack.

He told you to close your eyes and open your palm. Then, he handed you a handcrafted note asking if you'd like to go with him. Later that day you found another one in your pocket (so that's why he told you to close your eyes) telling you he’s grateful to have you in his life. It was perfect. And officially approved by Knox Overstreet!

When you recounted the story, the guys were pretty happy for you. Before anyone could get a word in, Charlie suddenly asked if you were planning to go with Jack. Sincerely, you affirmed. Why not? He was the sweetest guy and you certainly were done moping around. I mean, you knew that Charlie wasn't going to change his mind so you could as well see if you end up liking someone else.

To your surprise, Charlie wasn't as ecstatic as the rest of the poets. He was rather skeptical and even a bit snarky. Commenting on the guy and just being so… weird about it. It angered you to no end because softly rejecting you is one thing. But trying to get in the way of you moving on? That didn't sit right with you. But your drama queen days were over, so you didn't walk off or anything. Just huffed and looked for a way to change the topic.

At the same time Charlie was thinking. Before college it was easy to reassure himself that he had all the time he wanted to make you his. And all the time he wanted to decide if he would do that at all. Everything was easier back when you didn't talk about any guys. Ever. Now he felt like he had to do something. Damn the risk of ruining the friend group. Damn the fear of rejection. And damn Knox for encouraging this mess.

The last thing you expected was for Charlie to get up suddenly. The poets all looked at him confused. When he stood up, his eyes met yours and he asked you to talk with him outside. Honest to Gods, you had no idea what that was about. But he was being dramatic (more so than usual) and something about the determination in his eyes told you to follow your friend outside. It was snowing and only buildings around you somewhat shielded you from the cold wind.

Charlie didn't waste time choosing words. For the first time when talking to a girl, he was completely raw. Just as it hit him, he blurted out his confession. No overplayed charm. No smirks and winks and cheap tricks. Just him. Charlie Dalton telling you that he likes you. That he had liked you for some time. That you should just, please, think about it.

As the last word fell from his mouth, a heavy silence fell between you. Silence colder than the wind and the snow. But Charlie stood there, undeterred, waiting to see the answer in your eyes. Even at his most frantic, he was confident. He understood that he did what he did, what it meant, and that he grasped this last chance by a miracle. There was no turning back now.

Your response first came muffled, as if the falling snowflakes were absorbing your voice. But finally, you confessed. Not without telling him, how long he made you wait. And how stupid he was acting, if he really just ignored his feelings for this long.

Your talk was tender, full of relief. But, as it happens with Charlie, as soon as the talk of real feelings was out of the way, he dragged you back inside, to announce your happy ending.

You couldn't believe he wanted to brag to your friends at a moment like this. But you just stood there, watching him with a smile. Some things never changed. Charlie certainly didn't. And you wouldn't have it any other way

#fun fact none of those ppl are made up #I just described a few guys from school that I've been talking to #same with the note situation lol #what makes it funnier is that I am in fact going with Jack and he heavily relates to Knox #so while I gave you the watered down version you can imagine the pizazz this guy had when inviting me #that's why I had to add the Knox approved part #they are literalky the same person #dps x reader #charlie dalton #charlie dalton x reader #dead poets society x reader #x reader

[kidwhomhasahat]

its those subcon people but as swag album covers

#A Hat in Time #AHiT #Snatcher #Vanessa #Moonjumper #yeah #it's been a while since i drew hatty game stuff i've been too busy being Normal abt uh. [checks notes] Soundcloud Mashup Tournaments #anyways off i go for another uhhh. 7 months. lol #if you've read this far and you'd like to actually see what i'm up to more frequently my twitter has the same handle as on here #i find it like. 10x easier to post on there than here for some reason even if uh. the current situation with its ownership is #making it's future uncertain #anyways!

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

I don’t give a rat’s a$$ about the Golden Globes but the nominees are so white. Again. The fact that they nominated the fucking Eras tour over Blue Beetle makes me mad.

Check it out so obviously my first thought was uhh literally why did the Eras Tour movie even got nominated for a Golden Globe like if we allow the premise that industry awards are meant to recognize artistic achievement then truly wtf made them nominate it. And I don’t mean any disrespect towards Swift in this convo because she obviously works hard but the tour was basically her putting on a few different pretty dresses and strutting around a stage re-singing her old stuff… right?

Then the brilliant idea struck me that I should maybe check the category that Swift was nominated for, and yall I know I shouldn’t have been surprised but they literally added a capitalism category for the 2024 Globes:

i’m………………………

At least they’re not hiding it lmao. It’s straight up just about the money /shrug emoji

mod dyr

#anti taylor swift #side note: on a certain level i wouldn’t mind if Barbie and Oppenheimer had this category created for them #bc hopefully we are all mature enough to admit that hashtag barbenheimer will be their lasting cultural impact #(if anything) #and that whole situation relivened the public discourse about the film industry especially after the covid shutdowns #and its fair to take a moment at an industry awards to acknowledge that (but they better give it to Barbie lbr) #(Oppenheimer wouldn’t’ve been shit without Barbie lmao) #but i maintain to platform taylor swift and her lil good vibes victory tour on the same level as barbenheimer is just silly #its not quite apples and oranges… maybe oranges and lemons lol

[sinkableruby]

also something i think is really cool in episode 25 is when the sword pull version 2 starts proper, the dual chorus version of virtual star embryology starts listing out different heavens. with utenas surname being 天 (ten, heaven) and 上 (jou, up) it really feels like a moment of progress and exaltation for her (perhaps fitting considering the title of the song)

you get this as well with the ED version, where she seems to be ascending high up into the sky, into the clouds... to the castle.

#the ascension itself is not painted as a purely good or bad thing #it's complicated thoughtful symbolism #which is part of why i like utena so much #rgu #tenjou utena #ascension and descent are big parts of utena #interesting to note the moments of big ascension and descent. esp in the later eps. esp esp in the last one #but theres also other kinds of movement besides up and down. you can walk forward or back #i think with that in mind the end of the show has another tone to it #if you move up or down technically you're still in the same place when you come back #you have to walk forward to actually get somewhere else #but going up or down can give you different perspectives with which to look at your situation. more awareness or understanding perhaps #god damnit why do i always put analysis in the tags #whatever! lol #maybe ill make a separate post another time

[jvzebel-x]

🥂

#i found the most accurate way to describe how i feel about everyone being so fucking weird about this movie lmao. #her first couple tweets were actually laughing at jlc winning an award for it which ya i obviously also agree there LOL. #but more than anything else i think its just important to note two facts in every situation like this: #1. most racist undertones (vs overtones) irt culturally influenced media come from a place of flat out hatred #at being asked to consider happiness in a flavour that doesnt make it completely possible to forget other ppl exist lmao. #(if this movie had ft yt ppl doing martial arts in a multiverse setting ppl would have... oh wait i dont have to finish that do i.) #2. most ppl experiencing these racist undercurrents are also fucking pussies&would rather bend+break while jerking it to a thesaurus #than just admit to being miserable little cunts who dont like sharing the world w ppl not exactly like them #so they think sharing cultural relevance is the same thing as having a gun to their head&being forced to watch it lmao. #undescribed

[icewindandboringhorror]

We should bring back that thing some websites used to do where whenever you made a post you could also list a bunch of random details alongside it, like the mood you’re currently feeling while writing the post, what you’re eating, music you’re currently listening to, what device you’re writing the post on, some random emoji, your personal motto at the moment, etc. It’s like additional character lore 

#I think you can do this with facebook still like you can put a current mood 'feeling XYZ' BUT you have to choose from their list #of premade emotions. You can't just type your own. #and you can't add a bunch of random extra details for no reason #Also DID websites actually do this? I might just be thinking of one or two. specifically I htink on deviant art (which I rarely ever #used except for one small period when I was like 14 yrs old and thought it would be Professional to post art there lol) #when you made a journal post type of thing I think you could put information like this. And I THINK you could maybe do something similar on #the journals on gaiaonline?? maybe also myspace but I remember so little about mysapce or if they even have a journal #type function. I MISS websites randomly having journals as like..a thing #like you had your normal post feed and then also a diary type place. Kind of like how poeple used to use facebook Notes different #from just a normal facebook post. #If I ever actually do anything successful in my life and somehow defeat the mental illness and physical issues and Situational Barriers #and actually accomplish like.. anything enough to be a professional with their own website (like how famous authors will have #their own websites where they post updates that are NOT social media like a facebook but. their own custom website or whatever) #then I'l make sure that in the code it's set up so whenever I make a post I can add these options ghhbjhb #Imagine some official really imporant release of a movie or game or something and then alongside it it's just like #Feeling: Evil 🤭 Eating: Shredded cheddar cheese Drinking: water out of an old coffee tin #(I had to google some online place to copy and paste emojis ghbhjb i have no idea how they work ) #Though also it wouldn't be interesting for me because I have a limited emotional range and also love routine so I'd basically always #feel neutral and just be cycling through the same 5 foods/drinks/music/etc. at all times hjbjjh #I also always wear the same clothes like a cartoon character #BUT it'd be interesting to see about other poeple I guess lol

[prettyblondguys]

Jockstraps work better for packers than packing straps. I will die on this hill.

#Like 1. Better for fat ppl bc I SWEAR the ppl that made my packing strap didn't have plus size ppl in mind. It's very weirdly fitted. #2. Imo it makes the bulge less noticable and more natural looking. I wasn't constantly checking to see if I needed to adjust my pants. #3. AND ON THAT SAME NOTE. I didn't have to adjust it.like.any. throughout the workday. I didn't have to go to the bathroom and situate it-- #--properly again. I literally forgot I was wearing a packer various times (in a good way). #Now of course there's differences. A packing harness/strap allows you to interact/see it whereas a jockstrap doesn't. It's covered. #And I get wanting the peace of mind knowing that it's securely there. But a good fitting jockstrap (at least in my experience) is just as-- #-- secure in the majority of situations. I have a pretty physical job and it didn't move around or anything. #So just. Y'know. Test out your options. #Anywho. Byeeeeeee lol #trans

[chaotictomtom]

:////

#realising once more wee bairn me wasn't really taken care of lol #who doesn't bring their kid to the hospital or at least a doc after hitting their lil head really hard against a hard tile floor. #it happened twice note the same situation nor the same age but none were like. checked on with a doc afterwards #i was like around 5? i think for the first time and then a wee bit before 10 #idk tbh i barely remember anything up until after highschool #tons of shit suck abt how i was raised but like what can i do abt the past. absolutely nothing!!!!!! trying to focus on da present #even tho it's hard #it just still feels like im not worth enough for any attention nor concern when stuff are bad but. yeah. #shrugs. big shrugs

[bat-the-misfit]

Ok, genuine question:

I suspect one member of the groups i listen to is the same type as me. Is there a shortcut or is it easier to know if someone has the same type as you? Like as if you had a radar to people of your type?

He's honestly so much like me I can't help but remember you telling me facts about my type 😭 I can't belive you're dragging me to the typology side of the force

But does he look like you when it comes to behavior or functions and stack? Bc you have to remember you can't type based on how someone acts - someone's functions are spotted when you ask the why and the how of their behavior.

If you type based on behavior you're not only mistyping the person but stereotyping the type in question. In you case ISFJ: closed-minded, very trustful, very caring, submissive, etc. These are NOT things that usually makes ISFJs be ISFJs, bc everyone of any type can be like that (even ENTPs, which are the opposite type.)

What makes ISFJs be ISFJs are using Si-Fe-Ti-Ne in their function stack. That's what you have to look for.

When you say he's "so much like you", is it because everything he does scream Si-Fe-Ti-Ne to you???

Does he look for comfort and security, staying is his comfort zone, having a large data of facts that are proven to be the best data, staying away from anything new and unreliable, chaotic and unreal because it's important for him to feel secure with what he knows it's more trustworthy (dominant Si - inferior Ne)? Or does he do that for other reasons? Does he do that bc of Ni reasons? Any other function reasons? See the motivations behind his behaviors.

Also check if his alleged Si is dom or aux. You have to see if his Fe is there as a tool and as a scale to the Si, not the opposite. See if he seeks out for the community (in this case the group he's a member of) to raise the sense of security and knowingness (Fe supporting Si = ISFJ). If he tends to repeat patterns proven to be the most efficient to make people get to social harmony, seeking the security and routine and physical things that bring "cozy" feelings bc he judges as more important to get that sense of "my group is feeling well" (Si supporting Fe = ESFJ), it's likely that you're mistyping him.

In case of an unhealthy type check if he seems to be in a Si-Ti loop as well. He'll completely ignore his Fe in this state. Same for grips. Look out for Ne grips as well.

Well any other questions you have you can come here and ask me bc you know i love to ramble :D

#i know i talk too much but you asked for it lol #i hope this helps you #I ALSO HOPE TO ACTUALLY BRING YOU TO THE TYPOLOGY SIDE OF THE FORCE #and no there's no shortcuts #even if you're of that type they might be very different from you so it's no use #you have to check for the functions and the stack regardless #it's sad but that's how it works #it won't be easier to spot people of your type #THANK YOU CAMILAAAAAA I LOVE RAMBLING #tio morcego tá tagarela #edit bc i thought of examples: #think Jesus and Hitler - do you think they're similar in personality? they're both INFJs #L from Death Note and Patrick Star - are they similar? “no Bat Patrick is dumb” yeah but they're both INTPs #Bubbles and Kylo Ren are both INFPs and they don't have anything in common. why? Kylo is in a Te grip while Bubbles uses her Fi really well #now if you think about the REASONS and HOWS they do/did things you will be how similar these people/characters actually are #same with the opposite situation: #don't you think my oc Victor acts EXACTLY like Tadeu does? #but Victor is an ESTP while Tadeu is an ENFP like they literally have no functions in common #they might do the same reckless and dumb shit but the reasons behind it are completely different #well aNYWAY

[the-rose-owl]

I'm going to lose my mind. Why do some people think that humans just have the magical ability to interpret animal behavior completely by intuition and have it never be wrong ever

#if I go into the notes of a post showing/describing something an animal did #and I see one more 'you don't understand this is abuse /s!! lol I'm so smart by parodying those losers!!' #I swear to GOD #yes I'm sure there are people who are mistaken and say some situation or behavior is bad when it is likely fine #no they're not Everybody (or even tje majority) of people pointing out when something is wrong #and then I see shit like 'anthropomorphizing?? ok lol you just think animals and dumb and don't have any emotions or cognitive abilities' #'people just say that because they want to pretend to be better and smarter than all other animals' #LISTEN TO YOURSELF #wow you think that the only way an animal can experience those things is in the same way humans can? #and that you can Just Tell when an animal is feeling or reacting okay? #wow you are so cool for not assuming that humans are better than all other animals 👍 #I literally just do not understand. I wouldn't look at a machine I don't understand the workings of doing something #and based off vibes alone go 'this thing is working completely fine and anyone who says otherwise even with relevant knowledge is an asshol #I'm going to go insane. #this isn't to shame anybody for thinking something is cute without doing Deep Research or anything #that's fine you don't have to do that just to look at an animal doing funny thing #but like. if someone who has done research says something is up #and you decide that actually they're wrong because you thought it was cute #then you're an asshole

[xxlumos]

Regarding also to my last post, kinda:

What’s also MIND BOGGLING to me, some time ago a rumor was circulating around tiktok that Pedro Pascal had a girlfriend but it was quickly debunked, and the fan(girls) were so RELIEVED. Huh?? Am I missing something? Why are you relieved? Don’t you want that man to be happy? Never in a million years would you have a chance with that man. Especially because that man is twice or even THRICE YOUR AGE GIRL

How delulu can you be

#that’s the same situation when Chris Evans broke up with his girlfriend (I think) #every time A MAN breaks up with a woman the fans are RELIEVED #I will never ever understand this #why would you be relieved #💀💀 #pedro pascal #anita rambles #note: I’m so sorry to all my followers who have to deal with my shit lol #I just treat tumblr like Twitter at this point #I barely have time to be on here and scroll lol 😭😭 #so I just say whatever #if you’re reading this I love you very very much ❤️🫶🏻

[gingerslapnotion]

u know whats so fucking stupid abt "#q slur" discourse is when some idiot is like "ummmm 'gay' is a slur too i dont see you tagging #g slur!" like, if a close mutual of mine asked me to tag the word 'gay' because it triggers them i probably would. i was there in 2013 i remember the "friendly reminder that ANYTHING can be a trigger!! :)" posts. because thats all it is, its a tag to keep people from having to see a word that hurts them. and if youre someone who uses the word gay or the word queer a lot, which is especially likely if its a label you use for urself, then just fucking dont tag it! tell anyone who asks you to that you use it too much and theyre better off just not following you! but getting mad or acting superior at people for being uncomfortable with an actual slur or for protecting their followers from it is hurtful and also closeminded as hell.

#note this isnt the same as a 'can you trigger tag lesbians/no but i can hit you with my car' situation #tagging the WORD 'lesbian' is different from tagging LESBIANS #the former is (hypothetically) a trigger the latter is just prejudice #anyway. this is just my onion #also if you think queer simply isnt a slur anymore then you live in a bubble and also youre stupid #pg.txt #ALSO to be clear i dont actually think 'gay' IS a slur but i can see how someone might be hurt by it regardless ? #tho frankly. i dont think its very likely. lol #but again ANYTHINGGGGG can be a trigger so . its just a hypothetical situation

[unproduciblesmackdown]

in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative

#i've heard the song a fair number of times & always enjoyed it a lot. high energy & fun; a little goofy in great ways in subj & sonic style #it is extremely correct to work w/imitative vocalizations in your music no matter what. put in more. More #(and the Vocal [doot] being on the backbeat as opposed to the Instrumental [doot]....superlative!] #and did i Mention that [verse into chorus] synth line...the drumming underneath it... #even the faux Live Performance psychout ending. a song about a Specific Ass Situation thank fucking god. deserved to chart like that. #also anytime i say Dad Rock i use it fairly neutrally lol. i'm a fan plenty of songs that would qualify; to be more specific #lmao love the instances of [no matter how many ties i hear it i cannot distinguish this sequence into phonemes in a way that corresponds to #words (or words that fit into the context in any comprehensible way)] i.e. went ''okay time to look up lyrics b/c i will always be going: #flowers What about her dress??'' & the line is apparently ''while i was thinking about her dress'' lol love when the revelations of #mishearing are funny like Ah right....and claims it's ''slipped me notes'' rather than ''slipping notes'' but doesn't change too much #being like [i cannot decipher these lyrics] is generally a more fun casual version of ''especial tendency to struggle w/audio processing'' #versus like not knowing what tf someone's said in this part in a movie or smthing no matter how many times you hear it #or of course the most A Problem: not being able to parse what's being Spoken in some in-person situation #might be an occasion you can't get anything repeated; might be an occasion where for some reason/s a repeat doesn't even help.... #also forever the Idiosyncratic Origin Stories behind [genuine friendships formed when you are autistic] e.g. like yeah one of my good #elementary school friendships? was one where we did parallel play; maybe never or very rarely actually Spoke; our Distracting Each Other #was punished with more of a singular intensity than i ever saw Anyone's ''distracting each other'' interactions.... #took years of being at the same job (part time; so not like monday thru friday 9 to 5 Always being there at the same time anyways) #for me & a coworker to start talking & become work friends; then regular friends #their name was angel; so the menace i became when we had such a dad rock station on & these alignments occurred #though i would be engaging in singing along to things in general lol so

[lafragolina]

defending Nicklas Backstrom online is not enough. I need Tom Wilson and Tom Wilson needs a sword

#people salivating over the prospect of him retiring bc of the cap space #how is your reaction anythinf other than I hope he is able to heal and be pain free and gets to leave hockey on his own terms #it’s horrible #why do you even watch hockey if you care so much about results that you don’t even see the people #just watch a video game playthrough instead #ALSO also Nicke still had a higher points per game AND more games played than TJ this season #same points per game as Noted All Star Tom Wilson (lol) #yet for some reason people are like oh Backstrom should retire and then we’ll have all this cap space this is a blessing actually #but with TJ it’s like Wow He Has Such Heart And Compete And Effort #He Can Never Leave #which yeah I feel that I love TJ too but #European players deserve more respect for their effort and intangibles same as North Americans #and TJ’s health and future are worth consideration too #also this whole situation has made me rethink the salary cap and now I’m against it #fucked up in the way it makes us think about players as commodities #don’t mind me I’m just annoyed #nicklas backstrom #hockey #washington capitals

[h377b7iss]

.

#idk who i am #did notes there's a new splinter #she existed like last year but i didn't know it was her i always confuse her with blythe but yeah idk #there's like.... okay so spark has personality issues honest rarepair ppl don't usually believe me but dds #super saiyan will or fuckin bobolio........ is comparable but pretty much completely different in basis #bo FUFCK originated from like having to grow up really fucking quick in some real ass situations just like ultimate adult figure except not #not in a protector way its like he exists similarly to patrick like social type except he isnt social hes been through some shit same as edw #fuckin smiley #right im specifically jus differentiating between bo and idk blythe pt2 and ive been keeping it secret cause she fucking sucks like not as m #not as much as cassie lol jk but fr like idk one of my tattoos is named dahlia maybe thats when she originated who knows i feel like shes #existed within me for a while i can always tell when dahlia is fronting in serious situations cause its like. literally not caring abt #literally not caring about others as a defense mechanism and entirely investing in myself in the situation and getting myself into a vetter #a better situation whether that be me alone somewhere or elsewhere i guess #ive been working on getting closer to spark but shit sucks cause like idk how to like idk interact like literally idk how to #basically you just talk to him i guess #but yeah its like idc thats the whole thing like in whatever situation its like focus on you dont engage plan your way out of this negativit #there are perks and downfalls to having whatever disorder #the dissociative part is axtually not a bad thing as long as u have someone there in brr robot mode to #function at high capacity while dissociated #cause while dissociation can come with airheadedness or distance it doesnt usually do that unless someone with some strong ass expectations #thinks that dissociation means ur like not in ur brain #thats honestly different theres an absense aspect as well as a dissociative aspect #you gotta jus be there in thefuckin background for whenever you dissociate #mfs be telling parts of me to go to sleep UGH and it fuckignnsucks cause its so annoying and it makes me tired as fuck like no im not sleepi #ng in my brain theres dormancy or jus #like sitting behind myself or within or something #sleeping within yourself isnt a very good thing for me cause its like. im always tired yknow like damn i wish i could do that #thats regular depression #thats another thing reasoning kind of like everything feels really far away physically so going anywhere is such a slog its like.. #reading a book thats kind of boring and youre like oiay next chapter is like 10 pages away and then its hard to pay attention to what youre

[poptartmochi]

truly feeling so ivan the terrible and his son ivan on 16 november 1851 about it all 🥺🥺

#durge is a BITCH to orin 😭😭 i found the notes between them and.. girl!! fuck off w that pureblood shit lol! #anyhow i like to imagine orin and salome are.. around the same age? #there is a sisterhood when salome comes to the temple. 🌄 i think it would be very 🥹 if salome was the one who taught orin to braid her #hair (something salome learned from her original family) #orin helps salome get the ropes of it all + feel less alone. bc scleritas says durge struggled w basic things before #there could have been such a nice synergy between them... the pureblood and the progeny²... science vs art #but NOOO there can only be one chosen 😑💢💢 all bhaalspawn must kill each other as is tradition 💝 #anyways.. the entire situation ruins their relationship. what they once respected and admired in the other turns into what they #resent the most.. durge calling orin's displays a waste of time + orin condescending abt how durge mowing everything down doesn't #actually honor bhaal (or whatever she says.. 😅 it is in that vein 🍻) like..... 🚬.... #like.... fucked up! :( fucked up! they made you enemies bc you would have killed your fatherpeepaw and taken his power for your own together #sriracha.txt