Fabian hating the rats but as soon as Fig wants to use them, immediately being so possessive of them is so only child energy
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Been thinking a lot about how Fabian uses the word triggering. He uses it in reference to the sexy rat, to the term 'turncoat', and (i believe) about Chungledown Bim
And he says it like a joke, right? Like the point is that Lou is making a joke because haha a sexy rat and a mirror abandoning Fabian and a funny-named gnome that wants to shit in his mouth are all funny concepts so why shoudn't it be funny that they're traumatizing
Except, I think Fabian is using that term earnestly. I think he is genuinely upset by how a sexy rat wanted to violate him in the nightmare forest and that in order for him to progress he had to lay down and give coerced consent to it
I think he is deeply hurt by people he loves leaving him. Sure, this time it's a mirror being a 'turncoat', but it's also his mom going on vacation with Gilear. And thinking about how Fabian interacts with Cathilda, treats her like a parent and a caregiver, you have to think that his dad was at the very least emotionally unavailable (if not physically so) and we all know about his mom's sensory deprivation egg
I think Chungledown Bim terrifies him in ways he can't articulate. The representation of how he's fallen short of his father's legacy persuing him endlessly. Being given spells and wealth and access by his devil father. Tracking him down to degrade him in an extremely visceral way
Fabian says that things are triggering with a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice. He's learned that saying the uncomfortable thing means money being thrown at a problem. He's learned that you're supposed to distance yourself from your feelings, to self-medicate
He doesn't have the skills or the practice to tell his friends in all seriousness that the things they say bother him. Remind him of his hardest days - in Leviathan, the Nightmare Forest, the Red Waste
And the part that hurts the most is that if he had this earnest conversation, his friends would be there. They'd respect him. Maybe help him unlearn some of the lessons that have shaped this ineffective request for help in the first place
But he doesn't ask and he says it as a joke and they hear it as a joke and nobody heals
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the funny thing about adaine's gift to fabian is i think the intention behind it was fully sincere bc although the party really latched onto the "summon rat" feature (understandably, that's hilarious), siobhan seemed to be highlighting the fact that rats wouldn't attack fabian unless he let them, which is a genuinely useful feature for a guy with a fear around certain rats! but unfortunately the moment fabian was slightly reluctant the little sister part of adaine's brain switched on and she had to heckle him about it
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baron is genuinely the most d20 character ever, can we keep them pls?? can we make next season just about this little freak? they are just absolutely delightful to me im sorry rizbert
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Chapter 113 (Manga spoilers)
Genuinely though this chapter made me question everything so bad. From this rat man's prehistoric age to why Dazai wasn't in the manga panel with the rest of the ADA (better not be what I think it is because AUGHh). And where in gods name did Nikolai go?
ASAGIRI. WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI
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On the other hand, I thought of a 'what iF..?' the infamous Fedya plushie was in Fyodor's place rather than Fyodor himself?
Personally, I think it'd look a hundredfold times more menacing. (Look at how threatening he is).
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hey we put your boyfriend in the nightmare forest. yeah he's hallucinating about a rat with real meaty hind legs. yeah it's got like a real wet nose and perfectly round ears. also there's a pirate that's gonna shit in his mouth. yeah the pirate isn't a hallucination after all. sorry
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