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dejwrld · 4 months

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⤷‧₊˚ hiromi higuruma helps his bratty sub study for her bar exam.

┊ •° ੈ ⋆° ┊ warning readers discretion is advised — black reader with descriptors, female anatomy described, her/she pronouns, usage of y/n, reader is a law student, mentions of reader being the child of a judge, mentions of law, dom!hiromi, sub!reader, reader described to be very feminine and bratty, no cursed au, dom x sub dynamic, usage of toys (vibrating panties), oral (reader receiving), pet names (good girl, doll), mentions of pubes, praise kink (academical), bonus after care scene, written in third pov (hiromi’s), mdni

sticky note from deja — sometimes i think about dom hiromi higuruma and just sigh happily.

Hiromi passed his bar exam with flying colors. He didn’t do study groups. Simply studied alone and prioritized his time to balance being a law clerk, studying, and socializing to ensure a law firm hired him. But this woman didn’t do any of that and frankly, he was even shocked that she still wanted to pursue law at all. She graduated from law school with a high GPA, and wonderful recommendations from amazing professors, and her father was a prominent judge. Many can assume that her pretty looks and her legacy surname got her where she is today, but Hiromi has observed her in her element and when she was in her element she was a beast.

So the older lawyer had no clue why she came to him with law books in her arm, her tote bag slung on her shoulders—tight coils sprawled on her head like a crown, and a tight suede tracksuit on as if she was stepping into her law class. But of course, when she had a problem, she came to him. When she needed a quick nut, she came to him. Needing someone to vent about when it came to her class rival, she came to him. Now it seemed she needed help studying for the exam and who did she come to, him.

But as an hour and thirty minutes went by, the young woman was not soaking up the information that Hiromi was going over. His eyes bored into the notebook, flashcards, and textbooks scattered across his desk. She watches as she twirls her pink pen around her fingers reading over the notes she jolted down, but he can just tell by the crinkle of her eyebrows that the information wasn’t going through that thick skull of hers. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe she knew the information because she did. But he doubted she’d remember it for the exam. He leaned back into his comfortable black desk chair trying to rack his brain with a better studying technique before eventually he got an idea. An imaginary light bulb lit up over the top of the lawyer’s head.

“I think I have an idea.” He spoke out, causing her to stop her highlighting—which he was hoping she would do because the scent of the highlighter was already giving him a headache simply because she just had to have scented ones.

This one smells like strawberries, smell it? Those were her exact words forty-five minutes ago as he was going over some laws on family laws.

“Will it help me feel like the information I’m consuming is sticking and staying in my brain?”

“Possibly,” was the only thing Hiromi answered before pulling himself out of his seat and disappearing from his office.

It was three things the woman that sat across from him enjoyed. Shopping, her father’s credit card, and sexual pleasure. If Hiromi had any more knowledge of psychology, he would have labeled Y/N as a nymphomaniac.

When returned with the red velvet box, he sat the box on the table and she perked up happily, possibly thinking that this was a sparkly diamond necklace for her.

“A gift? Aw, this definitely will help.” Her plush glossed lips spread into a smile. She claps her hands together in excitement sitting up in the chair.

“It’s not a necklace, doll.” He points out. She opened the box revealing the black lace underwear that had a vibrator inside of them.

He was going to use these at their anniversary dinner as a sub and dog duo, but he guessed he had to come up with another idea to make their dinner interesting. His gloomy eyes watched as her eyes lit up like fuckin’ fireworks. His assumption was right. He watches as she simply stands up ready to remove her underwear eagerly.

“I do think a quick sex session will help me focus a bit more. This is why I came to you. At first, I was going to join that one guy who knows Nanami's study group, but in my mind—I just knew you would have a better study idea.” She giggled as her hand went to untie her tracksuit bottoms to change into the other panties.

“No, we’re not doing that. Put the panties on and sit back down.” He scattered around his desk to give her time to change into the vibrating panties.

He thought she was going to argue against what he said, but she didn’t. As quiet as can be, she’s shuffling to remove her underwear and replace it with the sexual treat that Hiromi graced upon her. While she changed, Hiromi was looking for the notebook that he used when he was studying for his bar exam. He knew it had a bunch of mock bar exam questions on there and thought they would help. When he found the book, he walked back to his desk and Y/N sat patiently waiting for him, she went back to reading her textbook without a care.

Hiromi removed the box from the table, placing it on the ledge behind him after he grabbed the remote. He slammed the notebook on the table that looked like it’s been through centuries of war. He liked keeping it because it showed how far he had come from a law student to one of the best lawyers in the city. He skimmed through the pages before finding a page he wanted to start on.

“A defendant is being prosecuted for conspiracy to possess methamphetamine with intent to distribute. At trial, the government seeks to have its agent testify to a conversation that he overheard between the defendant and a co-conspirator regarding the incoming shipment of a large quantity of methamphetamine. That conversation was also audiotaped, though critical portions of it are inaudible. The defendant objects to the testimony of the agent on the ground that it is not the best evidence of the conversation.” He pauses briefly to look at Y/N across from him. “Is the testimony of the agent admissible?”

He watches as she brings her French tip manicured finger to her chin to think. He had a feeling she knew the answer, she told him about the paper she had done about admissible evidence. But as he watches her shoulders go upward and downward in an ‘I don’t know’ manner, Hiromi lets out a sigh before pressing the remote. The silence in his office was disrupted by the sound of the vibration. He watches as she jerks forward provocatively. He leans back in his seat.

“You know the answer to this, stop being a smart ass.” Hiromi’s slender fingers toyed with the small remote watching as she was withering forward in attempting to mask her moan.

“It’ll be admissible,” She breathes out.

“Why?” Hiromi asked.

For a quick second, he can see a glint of sexual frustration in her eyes. This was the first sexual encounter in a while due to him restricting them from it. He had a huge case coming up and she had to study for the bar exam. Sex would cloud their judgment on the tasks they had to do.

“The best evidence rule does not require proof of the conversation through the audiotape.”

He presses the button on the remote making the vibrator stop. “Good girl. I knew you knew that.” His lips crack a smile and he watches as she recomposes herself.

“Next question.” Hiromi flips through the pages in his notebook. “Hypothetically thinking, say a person broke into a closed building to solely seek refuge due to a snowstorm. Can this person be convicted of burglary if that’s her defense?” His fingers were itching to press the button, but he had to hear her answer first.

“No.”

“Why? Come on baby, you know they’re going to ask why?”

“I’m not sure, let me think.”

It didn’t take long before Hiromi pressed the button. Her moans echoed within the study while clasping her thighs closed to engulf the sudden vibration from the panties she wore. She falls back into the seat across from him and her body arches off of it briefly before she’s finally croaking out an explanation.

“Burglary requires the intent to commit a crime upon entering a building and seeking shelter from a storm is not a criminal act. So, this hypothetical person can validate her claim.”

“That’s right. You’re doing amazing with these questions. Just need it to stick in your brain, that’s all.” He reassures Y/N with a smile.

The quizzing went on for about thirty minutes, but Hiromi had lost track of time when he felt how tight his cock felt in his slacks. He was sure she had orgasmed multiple times from the vibrating panties just by the way her eyes drooped, her body slouching in the leather seat she was in, and the fact that he could see her hardened nipples through the sports bra after she had unzipped the hoodie of her tracksuit. She had this tendency where if he wasn’t touching her during little sessions, she had to touch herself. Which she did, right across from him—each time he flicked the remove on causing the vibrating on her pussy, she'd pinch her marbled nipples while uttering out a response to a random law question.

“I think you deserve a break for today. You still have the weekend to study,” He pointed out as he tossed the remote back into its box. “Come here.”

She’s hesitant at first and Hiromi can tell just by the way her lips part to argue and her eyebrows frown together. She wasn’t sure if she should cave and come forward or stay put just to feel the vibrating in between her thighs again. She knew that he knew she always defied him in some way just to get a rise out of him, but today—it seems her head was screwed on right. After all, Hiromi didn’t have to help Y/N study. Helping her study wasn’t a part of the contract, but he did—in such an odd sexy manner that caused her to be soaked between her thighs.

As she tiptoed around the wooden desk, she was peeling off her clothes so provocatively that Hiromi couldn’t help but swallow the harsh knot that formed in his throat. He couldn’t wait for himself to be buried so far in between her sumptuous thighs that the only thing he could smell on his top lip was her essence. Hiromi spread his muscular thighs so that she could take place between them—looking down at him like she was Aphrodite and he was a man that she had just placed under a spell due to her elegance. His hand grabs her waist letting his hands caress every bump and curve of her body that he was obsessed with. From the stretch marks that decorate her mahogany skin to the small mole that was right near her belly button.

“You drive me fuckin’ insane,” Hiromi finds himself saying. His dark eyes scan at how her lips spread into a grin.

He grabs her, placing her on his desk without a sweat. The sound of textbooks and notebooks echoed through the office as he pulled himself further under the table. Her legs gaped so provocatively that in Hiromi’s mind, the Lady Justice statue on the shelf on his left probably wanted to clutch her pearls. Hiromi placed subtle kisses on her legs starting from her ankle which was decorated bejeweled with a diamond anklet.

“You’re stalling. You know how much I want you right now, and you’re stalling.” The law student breathes as she leans back on the weight of her arms.

Hiromi watches as her chest begins to rise rapidly with each kiss growing closer to her pussy. Her words went into one ear and out the other for the lawyer and when he was finally face to face with what his mouth salivated for, his eyes met with hers. Her eyes were pleading for something. A kiss. A nibble. A lick. Hell, even a blow. Anything to soothe the aching feeling on her clit. Y/N’s hand went down to palm at the wetness in between her thighs, so eager and impatient—but the stern lawyer stopped her.

“Don’t fucking touch yourself, Y/N.” He commands.

And there goes the tone she was longing for. Oh, that authoritarian tone that made her pussy clench when he used it. She relaxes under his touch and lets him do his work. “If you’re going to take so long, I might as well finish off by myself.” Y/N comments.

“You talk so much, do you love hearing yourself talk?”

“And you are doing so much talking for a man whose mouth should be stuffed with my pus—”

Her words were interrupted by the feeling of Hiromi’s tongue dragging upon her panties. He pulled them to the side swiftly and finally was granted what he wanted all along. The flat of his tongue licks up her pussy lips collecting her juices like a man that was deprived of water for days. He moans at the taste of her and his hands grab at her waist to pull her closer. His eyes flutter close as he’s lapping at her puffy pussy lips at the sound of her moans. Her fingers entangled in his hair as her hips grind against his face. She wasn’t sure what was turning her on more. The way his face was buried into her pussy or how attractive it looked as his nose was nuzzling against her pubes.

“Fuck.” She moans out, her toes curling at the feeling of his tongue flicking her clit.

Hiromi detaches himself from her briefly, peppering soft kisses on her trembling thighs before devouring her whole again. The thing about Hiromi is that he knew how her body would react to certain things. He knew how her pussy clenched around his cock when he gave her neck a little squeeze. He knew that she was in between a squirter and creamer depending on the task. Squirting when he’s fingering her with a vibrator practically glued upon her clit. Creamer when he’s forcing orgasm after orgasm out of her after begging him to cum inside her (but to Hiromi, having his cum inside her is merely a privilege). So of course, he knew using his tongue to trace alongside the drooling entrance of her pussy was going to have her pushing herself forward for more. The mere feeling of his tongue invading her in such a manner that had her a trembling and whimpering mess was something Hiromi knew about her.

Hiromi lets out a moan at how good she tastes. The taste of Y/N has graced his tongue countless times and he still ate her out as if it was the best meal he has tasted. With each squirm in his arms, he’s flicking his tongue slower on her clit. With each moan of his name that slips by her plush lips, he’s granting her more licks and sucks. He wanted to see her come undone right here. He could feel it just by the way her thighs were poorly attempting to entrap his head by shutting them.

He lets out an annoyed sigh after he removes himself from her pussy, “Do you want to cum, Y/N?”

“I do. I want to cum.” She whines.

“Then fuckin’ act like it.”

Y/N obediently nods, her snarky comment jammed into her throat before she let Hiromi spread her thighs even wider than what they were before. Her clit throbbing to be in his mouth again and he graciously granted her wish. Like a deprived man, Hiromi snuggled his nose back into her pubes as if he belonged there. Y/N was aware that Hiromi knew she was about to cum. He had this tendency to hold onto her as if she would turn into dust in his arms—as if he didn’t want to let her go. That’s what he was currently doing as her orgasm was spilling over. One hand gripping her in place (that she knew would leave a bruise) and the other palming his hardened cock through his pants.

Just with the flick of his tongue, an explosive feeling causes Y/N to let out a dragged-out moan. Her back lays back on the desk as Hiromi’s tongue helps her ride out the orgasm. Her French pedicured toes curl at the feeling of that fiery pit in her stomach shattering so intensely it brought tears to her eyes. Her fingers tugged at his black strands of hair as if they were a handle holding her up from falling. When she heard him remove himself from her with a pop, Hiromi leaned back in his seat with a huge satisfied grin on his face.

After Y/N came down from the euphoria of cumming in Hiromi’s mouth, she sat up on her elbows with a pleased look on her face. She knew after any sexual intercourse with the high-profile lawyer, he just had to include aftercare in the special package. He may have gotten off at the thought of seeing her tied up with rope, handcuffed to his headboard, or mouth gagged with his cock—but he was very serious when it came to aftercare. The two soon settled for a bath to end the evening. The warmth of the water engulfed their bodies as they were in the large bathtub filled with scented soap and rose petals. Hiromi’s head fell back to be met with the marbled tile and he let out a relaxing sigh, the scent of Y/N lingering on his upper lip and tongue.

“I have a confession to make..” Y/N leans further back on him, relaxing under the warmth of both the water and Hiromi’s body.

“Hm.” He hums lightly letting his eyes flutter back open.

“I’m actually well prepared for the bar exam. Took a practice bar exam a week ago and according to my professor—if it was the real one, I would have passed.” She happily sighs letting her fingers play with the bubbles in the tub.

“What?” Hiromi glares at the back of her head with a displeased look.

“I woke up this morning with a student and tutor sex fantasy, silly.”

“You will be the death of me.”

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thanks for reading. <3

#hiromi higuruma x reader #hiromi higuruma smut #jjk smut #jjk x reader #female reader #anime x reader #anime smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x black reader #⊹˳⁺ ♡ 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒻𝒾𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

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worldsover · 5 months

Text

Iff ft. Yujin

length ✦ 10.9k

genres ✧ breeding, as in breeding breeding, as in actual pregnancy kink; degrading petplay; NEVER underestimate my lack of sanity; super subby puppy gf with baby fever!Yujin

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It is necessarily true that there exists an ideal number of offspring for each human female from a purely genetic standpoint. Our distant ancestors who survived countless millennia of famine, warfare, and disease were those whose genomes encoded a certain target number for offspring; this number was close enough to just above two children that random fluctuations in fertility could never deviate much below or above that figure. For these women, at least, natural selection would penalize having either fewer or more children than their genes desired, as this would diminish the proportion of their offspring in subsequent generations. This principle extends even today: A 2021 study by Hutchings revealed significant variability in the number and size of offspring among species, driven by genetic and developmental factors. This suggests a non-fixed ideal number of offspring, adapting to societal changes and living conditions.

Even after tens of thousands of years, we are still these animals. That is, Homo sapiens sapiens does not differ greatly from its parent species Homo sapiens when it comes to such biological imperatives as sex and reproduction. Yet only a fraction of people maintain a lifestyle that mirrors contingent strategies favored by evolution, resulting in a massive imbalance between evolved psychology and modern life. Although humans may no longer face the constant threat of starvation posed by an unforgiving wilderness, problems evolve in the same way—we do not have nearly enough children to replace the adult population, at least in many developed countries. The United States, Canada, Australia, and many European countries are experiencing population decline, but nowhere is this phenomenon more exacerbated than in East Asia, with particularly acute examples in China, Japan, and South Korea. Our subject for examination lies within the context of the latter nation, wherein perhaps a solution may be found through the example of Ahn Yujin.

You and Yujin are going to work toward fixing this new, evolved problem by starting a family. With her fervor and your virility, you just might do this single-handedly—if not, at least you two will leave that target number in the dust. The world will thank you, and you, the world, for yielding you Yujin. The future is assured, so long as you can satisfy your breeding needs.

Yujin fits the archetype for having large numbers of offspring: there must have existed designs for Yujin's body as the template for prolific breeders. Even the most conservative anthropologist would admit Yujin's hips are ideal for childbearing, especially in proportion to her height. Her breasts are not the largest, but they are certainly sufficient enough for breastfeeding—and if not that, at least your own tit-sucking pleasures. Her lithe body was built to breed, and above any physical attributes, the mind within only confirms that impression.

She is eager, insatiable, and obedient. You tell her to strip, and she is naked in seconds. You tell her to go on all fours, and she is on all fours. You tell her to put her lips around your cock, and she is deepthroating you in an instant. And when you tell Yujin that she's now your little puppy to train and use as you please, she follows your command gladly.

Her greatest fantasy is being bred hard and often, and this is the fantasy most oft fulfilled by you, her master. It starts with the collar around her neck: an innocuous thing, leather and black, with a silver buckle in the front, and a ring in the back through which you put a leash. When she has that collar on, she is not the confident, witty, ambitious woman who commands everyone's attention—she is your pet, "Puppy", as so engraved in delicate silver script on the black leather.

The collar rarely leaves her neck at this point, a couple of years into your relationship. By now, she's your live-in pet.

You don't even remember the last time you used a condom. That was months ago, at least—a year? Ever since she moved in, you've been savoring Yujin's raw, slick walls on your cock, and she gets off on the all-filling feeling of your semen seeping into her fertile womb. If it weren't for the pill, Yujin would have been knocked up long ago. Despite that, each time you make love, you talk about breeding, playing at dreams of impregnating her with plenty of pups. She moans "please" on each thrust, and you know exactly what she's begging for when she whispers that "Master's cum is gonna be Daddy cum any day now." When the two of you are ready, there is no doubt that Yujin will become the mother of your children.

You and Yujin have many ways of making love, ranging from rough hair-pulling to gentle adoration. But one element always remains the same: the collar that transforms her into a wild, lustful creature, erasing all thoughts as soon as it's clasped around her slender neck. Her urgent pleas for you to release your load deep inside her are often met with little resistance, but occasionally you like to make her work for it—teasing and edging her until she whines and begs, this desperate bitch in heat. Then, you offer her a choice: continue being edged for another hour or allow yourself to impregnate her with your potent seed, guaranteed to result in triplets. Which will it be?

The answer, of course, is that both are correct. Why should we deprive ourselves of what nature gave us? If one woman loves being bred, why not breed her constantly? If another wants to be edged, why deny her? False dichotomies like these remain pervasive. Be sexually dominant or submissive; enjoy sex or romance; fuck like rabbits or make love tenderly—these can all exist together, if we so allow them to.

For example, there are always two women at play with your girlfriend: the Yujin who is a vibrant social butterfly, curious and never satisfied with sitting still; and the Yujin who lives and breathes your cock in daily routine, the Yujin who will happily let you lock her away in a dark room if you promised to give her your cum. You love both Yujins: a charming conversationalist, always cool and collected; a horny, obedient slut, who you train to do tricks in exchange for cum, who will only bark if her master so demands. There is no need to choose between these two Yujins, and you would not dream of doing so.

Or, consider the most misleading of dilemmas, being a young couple with kids, or being a young couple that stays together. Humans have grown rich enough and powerful enough to craft a society where the worst thing that could happen to a young couple—pregnancy at an inconvenient time—no longer threatens them in the same way. Now that people no longer have to marry their first stable match or die alone, now that everyone has gotten a little bit smarter and more independent, the universe is filled with possibilities for love and affection. This future child you make with Yujin could grow up in an environment where they would want for nothing, especially not siblings, for you'll give them plenty to spare. Thus, to knock Yujin up is hardly the disaster it would have been in our primitive past. Rather, you both should celebrate it.

This is not to say that every single person is the same. Not many women are as dedicated to the goal of impregnation as Yujin, and not many men are as driven to fill a receptive body with their progeny as you are. The series of coin flips and card draws that led to your personalities, to this relationship that binds you, is quite unlikely to repeat itself.

Yujin recognizes the rarity of the match. Even in the first meeting, she was as astute as a hunter dog, scenting prey, noting all the signs in the forest that you were the one. That night, after your friend invited Yujin to the bar, small talk quickly became deep conversation. Yujin asked your opinion on something. You gave it. Yujin replied, "Oh, I like a guy who takes charge." A few minutes later, she said she had to use the bathroom. She left her purse with you. Yujin did not return for another ten minutes, and when she did, it was with flushed cheeks and sweat on her brow. You asked her what took so long, and she answered, "You're so hot. I might have… been doing something naughty."

"Bad girl," you said.

At this point, your friend knew to leave.

You understand that Yujin is still the same girl, only with more of herself exposed to you—not just literally. She's been hinting at the concept of properly mating for weeks now, but she needed you to make the first move. It's a bit like old times, the nights after you met, the weeks you danced around each other's desires. Whenever she hinted at her interest, you weren't stupid enough to be oblivious—every word dripped with innuendo, every glance a flirt, every movement an invitation. But you built tension with purpose. She was too special to sleep with on the first date. In much the same way, what was once mere fantasy, empty talk of impregnating Yujin during sex, is starting to take on the shape of reality. In this sense, here returns Yujin the hunter dog, searching for a new quarry: your future family.

However, this is not lust alone. The chemicals that control desire can't do all the work in this relationship. When Yujin asks you more frequently about your opinion on having kids, you don't ignore it as simple pillow talk; she is gauging your willingness to commit. Because you love her, because she's right for you, past the sex and the fantasies, you take her seriously. Yujin speaks with infectious enthusiasm about her friends who have recently become mothers, all of whom are convinced that you two would make fantastic parents. Casually, she mentions she's not taking birth control anymore.

"I might be ovulating soon." "The doctor said I'm in my prime right now." "Do you think I'd be a good mother? You'll be a good daddy, for sure."

To that last question, you assure her, over and over, with the certainty that Yujin deserves. "The best mommy. I promise."

You find her researching baby names. Starts looking up parenting tips and ideas for nursery decorations. She's even helped you plan out your dream family home. There's something different about how Yujin looks at you. She's thinking about pregnancy, not just as a topic of conversation, not just as a fetish, but as a goal.

Concerns and fears, worries and hopes, you discuss them thoroughly, sometimes after sex, when Yujin is too tired to move and she lies in bed with your cock still inside her, cum on her lips, your hands around her belly feeling her body and dreaming of what it might become. Talks of plans become more and more serious as you set aside money and time for this future family, thinking about moving out from this modest apartment to a proper house. But ultimately, here is Yujin, in your arms, by your side, an angel's face, eyes stolen from the stars as they twinkle.

Like when you first fell in love, everything lovely about Yujin becomes magnified, so how could you deny her? You hold her close and promise that you'll do anything to make her happy, to make her dreams come true. She whispers back, "I know. I've never felt so loved."

It isn't long before Yujin becomes more brazen. As you try to fall asleep, you hear wet sounds next to you as Yujin's fingers dive in her pussy, presumably to the idea of you impregnating her. The next morning, she confirms your suspicions, this time sending you a video from the bathtub as she masturbates and talks dirty about how much she worships your cum. She sends you amateur porn of women taking three creampies three times in a row, or pregnant women squirting milk onto the camera lens while riding a man.

Then, there's the actual sex between the two of you. "Do you want to knock me up? Come on, let's just do it now. Please? Can't you tell I need it?"

You're glad to continue teasing and edging Yujin until her desire is too much to bear, her eyes watering and face contorted with desperation. Her raw pussy tightens around you even more, begging for release. You tell her it's up to Master before pulling out and spraying cum over her stomach. Obedient as ever, she cleans it up and swallows it down but her frustration is clear—she wants to be filled completely. You're truthfully equally as ready to impregnate Yujin, sooner rather than later; you want to watch your seed blossom within her, want to see her stomach swell, her tits fill up with delicious milk, and her nipples grow fat with lust. The smell of her slick sex is intoxicating whenever you slip a hand down her pants, or spread her pussy wide open to taste.

After settling all the necessary financial and personal matters, Yujin stays busy with buying pregnancy tests, making lists, and studying every bit of advice on how to conceive. You each tell your families that you're trying, which is a funny way of saying "I'm going to fuck enough sperm into your fertile daughter that she's guaranteed to bear our children, and we're going to do it so often that she might as well never leave my cock," but you suppose that "trying" is the more polite way of putting it. Yujin's mother has already started preparing the nursery, and your parents are talking about visiting to help watch over her when she gets farther along in the pregnancy. You're ready to move into your new place, but not before this apartment where you first made love has its proper send-off.

You thought you'd witnessed the limits of Yujin's vulnerability. However, you've never seen your girlfriend quite as desperate, needy, and pathetic as you do on the morning you decide it's time to breed Yujin.

For days, you've teased her relentlessly—marked her bare neck with bruises and bite marks, denied Yujin her collar until she's earned it, edged her with your fingers and mouth, fucked her fast and rough, used her as a living fleshlight, edged her more with toys. Made her watch as you jacked off onto her abs, fed her a throatful, or plugged up her ass with a thick load.

"Master, please," she begged, over and over, as her pussy clenched on nothing. With her body painted abstract expressionist—soaked in cum like you're marking territory—you needed multiple towels to clean the slumberous Yujin so that the sheets weren't too sticky. Left one towel under her legs to catch her dripping arousal. By the time she went to sleep last night, her guts were full of your cum, while her mind was void of all thoughts except for one: the place your seed had yet to reach, aching to be fulfilled like the rest of her body.

When you wake early and find Yujin's body pressed against yours in bed, her sleep is fitful, due to this very lack of semen inside her womb. She tosses, turns, her body hot. You touch her forehead with your hand to check for a fever, but it's just the heat of her arousal making her sweat. You run your fingers down her spine. Her skin feels flushed. Looks it too, how red her cheeks are. The sun has barely begun its ascent, so its color makes her glow further. Your fingertips reach her tailbone, then slip lower, where you press against her clit. Her breathing quickens as she rouses awake, and you pull your hand back.

With each breath, her tits rise and fall; they feel heavier than usual in your hands. The mingled scents of sweat and sex surround you, but beneath it all is an added note that stirs your arousal. It's a familiar smell, one that always drives you wild. You recognize the telltale signs of Yujin's hormones going into overdrive, intensifying her already insatiable desires. Her nipples, already normally sensitive, become almost painfully hypersensitive to every touch. She can't get enough of your scent, pressing her nose against your chest, armpit, neck, and groin—anywhere she can inhale your intoxicating musk.

It's time. Yujin is ovulating today.

Yesterday, you checked the calendar and the apps and the notes; however, none of the charts factor the most important variable: your instincts. Yujin looks so damn adorable when she wakes up, eyes bleary, hair disheveled, mouth still sticky with drool, legs spread, and a wet spot in the towel from where her pussy has been leaking—this was always going to be the day.

You gently stroke behind your puppy's ear, brushing her cheek with affection. "Morning, my love" comes out as your softest whisper.

Yujin stirs in response, nuzzling her head against your shoulder as she slowly wakes from her slumber. She yawns and blinks several times before finally locking eyes with you, a sleepy smile spreading across her face. "Good morning, Master," she says, shifting closer to give you a gentle kiss on the lips. Then another ten kisses. Twenty. "I had the weirdest dream."

You smile against her lips as you run your fingers through her tousled hair. "Do tell."

She seems to remember that you've been edging her for days, her thighs rubbing together, the scent of her slick arousal thick in the air. Yujin giggles and buries her face in your chest. When she finally looks up again, her cheeks are tinged red, and Yujin avoids your gaze. "I dreamed… that you were fucking me—"

"Of course," you interject, grinning. You reach down between her legs, returning to her folds, feeling how hot she's gotten overnight. It takes no effort to slide one finger inside your girlfriend.

"—and then you came inside of me, and it was so warm, and I was so full, and…" Yujin trails off as you add another finger. "And then the next day, I felt different. Like something inside of me changed."

"Oh?" Your hand moves steadily in and out of her tightness as she speaks.

"Yes," Yujin murmurs, her breath coming out in short gasps. "It felt like there was a weight in my stomach, but not physically. It was hard to explain, but it just felt off."

You continue to pleasure Yujin with your fingers, watching as she writhes beneath you. She lets out a whimper at the sensation and spreads her thighs wider for you. As her body responds to your touch, she whispers with breathless urgency:

"So I put my hands on my tummy, trying to figure out why things felt so off, and then... Oh! I can't believe I'm telling you this!" she exclaims, hiding her face in your chest again.

"Everything. I want to hear the whole dream." You push deeper, curling your fingers inside her, searching for her G-spot. She moans, and you hear the faint squelching of her slick leaking out.

"Master!" she says, panting, louder, gasping for air. "I—oh god—I just knew it! I had your pups inside me. I knew, because my belly felt heavy, and my body felt strange, and there was a pressure on my chest, and, and my nipples were so, so sensitive, and when I touched them, milk came out, and—" Yujin cuts herself off with another sharp yelp, your fingerfucking reaching a crescendo. "Master! Please!"

You chuckle. "That was quite vivid, puppy." Withdrawing digits from your girlfriend's warmth, you sit up and position yourself behind her, pressing her soft curves into your body—she's always been such a perfect fit, in your lap, in your arms, in your life. On your cock too, as it nestles comfortably between her round, plump buttocks.

She shivers at your touch, and you know from the tremble that Yujin's close to her peak.

"Today."

Yujin's eyes widen in surprise as you utter the single word. It's almost magical, the way that one word can turn a dream into a reality more than any other before it. You understand her desires and share them with equal passion—although, at this moment, could anyone want anything as much as Yujin right now? Her breathing hitches even more as desire floods through every inch of her body. Her glazed eyes stare back at you with pure love, the dilated pupils barely showing any trace of color.

You nod, confirming what she already suspects. "Yes, Yujin, today is the day."

A single tear gathers at the corner of her eye, threatening to spill over. Her voice quivers and trails off as she struggles to speak. "Master..." Her breath catches in her throat. "Are we really... going to—"

You lean in and capture her lips with a deep, passionate kiss. "Yes," you whisper against her skin, sending shivers down her spine. "We are going to have a baby. Babies."

She moans loudly against your lips, unable to contain her excitement, as she grinds her body against yours. "Nngh, oh my god, yes, yes! Yes, I want to have my Master's puppies! Please, please, fuck my pussy, breed me, I love you, make my womb yours, breed me, breed me, breed, m-me, mmmh—" Her babbling dissolves into a series of incoherent noises, her mind lost to the lustful haze of your touch.

You reach up and grasp Yujin's nape firmly but gently, pulling her closer to you. "You'll be a good puppy for Master today, won't you?" You raise an eyebrow expectantly.

Yujin murmurs and whines, sounding like a dog who has been chastised, though she nods quickly.

"Good. We'll have all day today, and the whole weekend to fuck, to fill you with my seed. You can be as loud as you want. I don't want you to restrain anything. I want to see you lose yourself completely, and I don't care who hears. Fuck the neighbors. We'll be leaving soon anyway." Your smirk widens.

Stroke her cheek, then pat her head and point to the floor next to the bed.

"On the ground, puppy."

Yujin slides off the edge of the mattress and kneels, her eyes never straying from your length, soft and hanging between your legs. A small gasp escapes her lips as she leans closer to your cock, her tongue slipping out between her teeth in anticipation. She releases a soft hum, murmuring, "I adore your scent, Master." With reverence, she snuggles against your cock with her cheeks and forehead, inhaling deeply as if testing the notes of a fine wine. Her lips part and her tongue darts out to cover your balls with her saliva. She finds pleasure in drooling on them, feeling their weight, and hearing you moan with enjoyment when she takes both in her mouth. As she feels the tension building between her thighs, she rubs them together for some relief.

She wraps her arms around your thighs and pulls herself closer, burying her nose in your crotch. As Yujin looks up at you, between big and pleading eyes, your shaft lays on her face, covering her mouth and nose. Every expression of submission, lust, and desperation hardens your cock. None match her unflinching smile while she lathers your sack in attention and spit.

Though her voice is muffled by your sack, she whimpers anyway, "Pwease, Master, cahn, I suck yow cock? So… yummy, mmnh." She lets each ball pop out of her mouth slowly, lines of drool connecting them to her glistening lips.

On this small hunt, Yujin's hand snakes towards your groin, but you don't plan on letting Yujin wring your balls dry so easily; you swat her hand away. "Ah-ah. You said you'd be a good girl."

Yujin's head drops in shame, her apology barely audible.

"What was that? Speak up," you demand.

She takes a deep breath before speaking louder. "I'm sorry, sir."

You place your palm gently on top of her head, relishing the softness of her fur beneath your fingertips. "What a good little puppy!" You say it with a hint of scorn, just the way she likes it - you can tell by the way she shivers in anticipation. Your voice turns serious. "If you want a treat, you have to earn it, right?"

Yujin nods eagerly, her eyes still downcast.

"Let's make sure you remember your tricks first."

With hopeful anticipation, she looks back up at you. It has been months since you've gone through this routine, the times the two of you delved deeper into this kink. When you first broached the subject, Yujin had played coy, but she took to it so naturally. And now, she's back in character perfectly. You run your hand through her hair, scratching behind her ear like an indulgent owner would for their well-behaved pet. Yujin leans into your touch, panting softly in contentment as she nuzzles against your hand.

"Sit," you order.

Your obedient pet Yujin complies at once and sits upright on her haunches. Her posture is impeccable, with knees pressed together, hands neatly resting on her thighs, and back straight as a rod. You hold out your hand with the palm facing up, and she eagerly places her chin in it. As she gazes up at you with adoration and trust shining in her eyes, you can't help but feel a sense of pride and ownership over this beautiful creature. It's moments like these that make you believe she was truly made for this canine role.

"Stay," you command, your intense gaze bearing down on Yujin. She fights to remain motionless, every muscle in her body trembling. But she is not a perfectly trained robot; sometimes a bratty, needy side emerges from within her. Rising from the bed, sheets rustling underneath you, you hold out your cock in front of her face. As if to say, look, here's the toy, puppy, as if daring her to lick it. You could thrust it into her mouth like a gloryhole and she wouldn't even flinch. But that's not why you're here. You're testing her. As if sensing your thoughts, she parts her lips slightly and you can practically smell the saliva building up in her mouth. Not good enough. In response, you smack her face with your hard length, the sound reverberating through the room. "Stay means stay," you remind her firmly.

She takes a deep, shuddering breath and squeezes her eyes shut, fighting to regain control over her body. After a few moments, she steadies herself and stares straight ahead, ignoring the throbbing member in front of her with impressive discipline.

You run your fingers through the soft fur of her head and praise her, "Such a good girl." With your other hand, you hold out your palm and command, "Paw." Yujin doesn't hesitate; she places her paw gently in your hand and allows you to shake it. A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you see how easily she follows your commands. "And now, roll over."

Yujin's cheeks flush a bright shade of pink as she gets onto all fours before she rolls onto her back, fully exposing herself to you. The warm morning sunlight streams through the bedroom window, highlighting every curve and dip of her flawless skin. Her wet pussy is on full display, inviting and tempting you further. Every subtle movement of her hips captivates you as she meets your gaze with adoration and devotion shining in her eyes. A shy grin plays on her lips, but there is no doubt: Yujin loves being your devoted puppy, always eager to please and serve you in any way possible.

Yujin lies sprawled out on the cool, hardwood floor of your bedroom, her body aching with desire. Her thighs are parted wide, exposing her glistening, craving pussy to you. The scent of arousal fills the air as she squirms impatiently, her clit protruding from its hood in a swollen and red state. You can see the evidence of hours of teasing and foreplay in the puffy, engorged state of her labia. As you lean down and run your fingertips over the softness of her inner thighs, Yujin shudders under your touch, her muscles tensing and trembling with pleasure.

"Such a good girl. Just a few more, then you get your treat," you whisper, your voice low and seductive. "On your feet, puppy," you say, accompanied by a finger gesture.

Yujin rises gracefully, her arms lifting high above her head and crossing at the wrists. As she arches her back, pushing out her chest, she bites her lip and gazes at you with an intense longing. You come closer. As you cup her breast gently in your hand, Yujin shudders under your touch. To your caress, she arches deeper while she presses herself into your palm. Her body silently pleads for release from the building tension within her—she's not so silent. You continue to massage and explore her soft flesh, feeling the heat radiating from every inch of her skin. When you pinch her nipple between thumb and forefinger or knead the pliant tissue beneath your fingers, Yujin lets out soft whimpers.

Her nipples are hard as diamonds, and a hair's trigger away from causing another orgasm so soon with their sensitivity. They look delectable and you can't resist giving them the attention they deserve. It's also practice for when Yujin is pregnant, as you plan on sucking on them regularly then. Your lips start at her collarbone, eliciting moans from Yujin, before moving down to dive into the valley of her cleavage. You kiss and nip at the pale, sensitive skin of her tits before finally reaching her buds. You lose track of time as you lavish attention on Yujin's breasts, slicking them with your saliva until she looks like she's about to pass out in pleasure—the puppy truly is so sensitive there. But she stands strong for you, eager for more.

"Oh, god," you murmur huskily, your voice dripping with desire as you imagine Yujin's full, milk-filled breasts in your hands. "I can't wait to see them when you're pregnant. So much milk, so juicy and ripe." A smile spreads across Yujin's face at your words, her eyes shimmering with a combination of desire and love for you. You clear your throat. "Now, bow."

With practiced grace, she drops to her knees and bows her head in submission, her forehead touching the ground. Her long hair tumbles around her face, tickling her flushed cheeks. As she lifts her head to peek up at you through her thick lashes, a slight smile plays on her lips. She is proud of herself for remembering all the tricks, but her expression is still pleading for more.

"Mmm, turn around. All fours. One last time."

She complies, getting onto all fours and arching her back to present her ass to you. Her legs spread wider, revealing the slick pink folds of her pussy, glistening with moisture and awaiting your touch. For further measure, with one hand on each cheek, she pulls apart the mounds of her ass to expose her tight puckered asshole. Her juices flow freely down her thighs, leaving a trail on the hardwood floor beneath her as she quivers with anticipation.

"Well done," you praise, lowering yourself to the cool floor to caress Yujin's head, back, and firm ass. You run both your index and middle fingers along her slick slit, feeling the heat emanating from her core. With two fingertips against her entrance, you spread open her folds to inspect how ready she is for you before pushing in. Yujin moans and grinds her hips against your hand, craving more of your touch. You chuckle and withdraw your fingers from your girlfriend's dripping pussy; they glisten with her sweet nectar as you hold them up for her to see, like delicate strands of silk. You'd say she's ready.

She whimpers at the sudden lack of touch and watches intently as you lift your slick-covered digits to her nostrils. She inhales deeply, bites her lower lip, and squirms, her breathing ragged and quick.

"Does my little pup enjoy the scent of her own arousal?" you ask, a smug grin on your face. "That's the smell of a fertile bitch, eager to be bred."

Yujin eagerly nods her head, her eyes shining with desire as she opens her mouth, inviting you to let her lick your fingers clean.

You smirk at the display of submission; it sends a thrill down your spine, a jolt straight to your cock. "Beg like a good dog," you command, "then you can have my fingers to suck on."

After a deep breath, she barks like a loyal canine, then whimpers in need. Her voice is barely audible as she pleads for what she desires. "Please," she begs, her words coming out in soft whines like a dog begging for scraps. "Master, can I please suck on your fingers? I need it so badly." You let out a small chuckle at her plea, knowing that Yujin has been eagerly awaiting this moment. You smear some of her juices onto her cheek, causing her to instinctively try and lick them off but she quickly restrains herself.

You shake your head and tut disapprovingly, making a mental note to be stricter with Yujin during her training sessions. "Not quite good enough," you reprimand her lightly. Tears begin to prick at the corners of Yujin's eyes at your rejection and she sniffs back a sob. "Master..." she starts again, only to have her voice break off into whimpers and heavy breathing. "P-please let me taste myself on your fingers. I know I've been a dirty whore but you take such good care of me and my needy pussy. And I-I'm sorry for making a mess on your fingers but please, please let me clean them." Her words are rushed and desperate as she begs for your approval.

You're amazed at how well Yujin can act in these moments, pulling out all the stops to get what she wants. You suppose the intense teasing and edging you subject her to only adds to the sincerity in her words. Finally, you hold your fingers out to her, tracing teasing circles on her lips. Yujin obediently parts her mouth and takes your digits inside, her tongue swirling and dancing along the surface with eager diligence. She sucks harder, hollowing her cheeks and drawing your fingers deeper, until a low moan escapes from deep within her throat, causing a pleasurable vibration against your skin. Her gag reflex kicks in when the knuckles of your fist brush against the soft palate of her mouth, but she pushes through it, determined to please you.

As you slowly withdraw your fingers from her quivering, red lips, a slick sound echoes throughout the room. Your eyes are dark with hunger as you gaze down at Yujin, who looks up at you with adoration and submission. "How does your sweet pussy taste today, my little puppy?" you ask in a low, commanding voice.

Her breath hitches at your words, her eyes fluttering shut before she responds, "It tastes so good, Master, thank you, thank you. My pussy is always fresh and sweet for you."

You take a moment to taste her yourself and confirm her words—she's right. You continue. "You don't look satisfied. What is it that you really want?"

Her hand trembles as she reaches out to touch yours. "Please, sir," she begs in a hushed tone, "knock me up. I want your cum inside me so badly." Her cheeks flush with arousal as she continues, "I know I can be a naughty puppy sometimes, but my pussy is dripping wet and begging for every drop of your seed. I need to be bred by your big and thick cock... by my perfect Master's cock. It's unmatched and I couldn't even imagine wanting anyone else."

Yujin's grip on your hand tightens and her entire body quivers with anticipation, her eyes widening and mouth slightly agape as she takes deep breaths. She may look like a mess right now, but she's your mess and you love every inch of her in this moment.

Her breath catches in her throat as she confesses, her voice trembling with raw desire. "You're all I ever think about when I touch myself," she admits, the words pouring out of her in a torrent of pure desperation. "And I always pretend it's you who brings me pleasure, not my stupid toys when you're away at work." A deep blush spreads across her cheeks as she continues, "You own me, Master... and you own my pussy. Please cum inside me and make it yours forever."

Yujin falls silent after her confession, her face beet red. But she can't tear her gaze away from yours, as if seeking your approval and permission for her deepest desires.

"Yujin, puppy, are you sure? Once I breed you, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop breeding you." A wicked smile crosses your face as you continue, "I'm going to fuck you raw every single day and make sure to get you pregnant with my pups. It's going to be nonstop baby-making from now on. Do you understand?"

Yujin nods, her messy hair bouncing around as she lets out a small bark of excitement. Her big eyes are wide and pleading, begging for your touch.

You coo softly, a smile playing on your lips as you stroke Yujin's head with affection. You reach over the side of the bed and retrieve the familiar black leather collar, adorned with the word "Puppy." Yujin's eyes light up at the sight of her reward, and she sits patiently as you slip it around her neck, locking it in place.

"From now on, you're not just wearing the collar at home anymore," you explain. "But that doesn't matter right? You're my breedslut, so I might as well keep you leashed to the bed."

Yujin shivers at the idea, and you can feel your desire growing as your fingers brush against her skin. Gripping her hair firmly, you yank her head upward, making sure her gaze remains locked on yours.

"This means you belong to me at all times, Yujin," you growl. "You are mine, and no one else's. Do you understand?"

Release your grip, and Yujin sinks back down to her knees in front of your erection standing tall. You've never seen her so nervous about giving you head, but her determination is evident. She opens her pretty, plump lips to reveal the pink interior of her warm mouth, but all you feel is warm breaths.

Yujin moves closer to you, her body radiating heat and anticipation as she guides your throbbing cock toward her lips with a gentle hand at its base. She gives the head a teasing kiss before taking it into her mouth, eliciting a deep, primal moan from deep within your throat.

As she sucks you off, you can feel her soft, wet tongue swirling and spiraling around your shaft, coaxing every last drop of pleasure from you. Every now and then, she comes up for air with a gasp, before eagerly diving back down to continue pleasuring you. Yujin is a true cocksucker, and she loves every second of it. Her eyes water as she deepthroats your cock with determination, refusing to stop even as it triggers her gag reflex.

"Such a good girl," you say, running your fingers through her hair as you thrust deeper into her throat. "You're my obedient little puppy, aren't you?"

Yujin's eyes roll back in ecstasy as she feels your cock filling her mouth and pushing against the back of her throat. With strings of saliva connecting her lips to your cockhead, she looks up at you with a mix of desire and submission.

"Yes, I'm your good puppy," she says in a raspy voice, still gagging on your cock, a few nervous giggles, a few woofs for good measure, even as tears run down her cheeks. "I'm your slutty little puppy girl, and I love your cock and I need your cock and I'm going to suck it forever." And she's back to work, sucking and licking and gagging on your dick as if this is the only thing that matters to her in life.

Yujin's technique is nothing short of impressive, utilizing all of her skills to bring you closer to the peak. Every move is calculated and precise, expertly designed to pleasure you in ways you've never experienced before. You firmly hold her head down, using her as your own personal fleshlight as you give rough thrusts into her warm, welcoming mouth. Yujin struggles for air but never pulls away, fully submitting to your desires. Her delicate hands reach up to massage your balls, adding an electrifying sensation to the already intense experience.

You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the brink, ready to explode down her throat at any moment. However, despite your animalistic instincts, every neuron firing within you is focused on breeding rather than covering her face and tongue with your seed. You know that it would be a waste to release such high-quality, potent cum anywhere other than inside her womb. Your rational brain understands this logic, even as your body screams for release.

Yujin will have plenty of time in her life to service you with her mouth; for now, her womb is more valuable in housing your powerful seed. Both your mind and body are in agreement on what they want - and right now, it's nowhere near Yujin's throat. As she continues to suckle on your throbbing member, you pull away from her grasp. Your hips ache with desire and a sense of incompleteness without Yujin's perfect mouth pleasuring you, yet the rush of power coursing through your body is almost intoxicating.

"Puppy, on the bed. Now."

Yujin scrambles to her feet, climbs onto the mattress. "What position, Master? Where do you want me?"

"On your back," you growl, pulling Yujin by her hair onto the bed so that her body is flat against the soft sheets. Her head falls onto the pillows behind her as she looks up at you with wide, waiting eyes."Good girl. Now lift your legs and spread them wide for me."

She immediately obeys, bending her knees and exposing her wet slit to you. You take her ankles and bring them behind her head, folding the girl in half so that you can truly mate-press her, pin her down with your body weight. Her pussy lips are engorged and puffy, and her clitoris protrudes from beneath the hood, throbbing with arousal. She opens her pretty labia wider with two fingers. The pink hole looks small enough that you would be unsure how you'd fit, even though you've fit in there plenty of times, more than you can count.

"L-look, at it, D-Daddy," Yujin stutters. "You're not just my Master, you're gonna be m-my Daddy, too."

With a low growl, you press your aching cock against Yujin's slick entrance. "You want it that bad? Beg for it."

Yujin whimpers and bucks her hips, trying to get more of you inside her. Yujin's voice fills with needy pleading. "Daddy, please, I'll do anything for you. Please, I need your cock more than anything."

"Anything?" you ask, your smirk widening.

Yujin nods eagerly, her hips bucking against yours. "Yes Master, anything! I'll do whatever you want. Just breed me like the slutty little puppy I am."

A wicked thought crosses your mind as you watch her squirm beneath you. "What if I tie you up like this and leave you here, completely at my mercy? You'll be spread open and exposed, unable to move until I decide to fill you."

Yujin gasps and moans at the idea, her body trembling with excitement. "Oh god, yes! Please do that! I'll be your fleshlight, whenever, always, please, just cum in me right now!"

An evil grin spreads across your face as you thrust into her harder, reveling in the power and control you have over her.

You slide your cock into her slowly, savoring every inch of her tightness. Her warmth envelopes you and it feels like heaven subverting God in its perfection.

Yujin's breath catches in her throat as she feels you finally sink deep inside of her, a long, primal moan escaping her lips. Her body trembles with pleasure and relief as she cries out, "Yes Daddy, I need to be bred!" With each thrust, she lifts her hips off the bed in search of more depth.

But you take control, refusing to let her dictate the pace. Your movements are strong and forceful, slamming into her again and again, igniting screams of ecstasy from her throat. "You're a breeding slut," you growl as you continue to drive into her slick heat. "My breeding slut. Mine." Her body quivers with each powerful thrust, unable to resist your dominance.

With a firm grasp on her ankles, you pull Yujin's legs down to either side of your body, opening her up completely for your pleasure. Her tight pussy squeezes around you with each thrust, driving you wild with desire. "When your breasts are swollen and full," you whisper in her ear, "I'll milk them like a cow and make you drink your own cream."

Her mouth falls open in bliss as she listens to your dirty talk. "Oh god yes!" she cries, her eyes rolling back in pure ecstasy. "Master, please breed me! Milk me! N-need it, so, so bad, mmfh, fuck!"

With each forceful thrust, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh echoes throughout the room. Waves of pleasure course through both your bodies as you ravage her cunt without mercy. The sight of her spread open and vulnerable beneath you is almost overwhelming. To distract yourself from the intensity, you roughly slap and squeeze her breasts, relishing in the satisfying jiggles and leaving red marks in their wake. "Puppy loves being punished, doesn't she?" you taunt, reveling in her screams of pleasure mixed with pain.

As her moans crescendo and transform into frenzied screams, you instinctively cover her mouth, despite earlier boasts of being as loud as you both want. Seeing your girlfriend in such a state of ecstasy (eyes rolled back in pleasure or perhaps lack of oxygen) ignites your own desire. Determined to prolong this moment, you abruptly pull out and flip her over onto all fours. For a puppy like Yujin, what other position would be more fitting?

Without hesitation, you plunge back inside her from behind, causing her to cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. The new angle allows for deeper penetration, her walls constricting around you in a tight embrace. With one hand gripping her hip and the other tangled in her hair, you claim her as yours by bending over and sinking your teeth into the soft flesh of her neck. Her skin turns from its usual pale hue to a rosy pink or fiery red as you mark her with rough fingers and sharp slaps to her ass. A mixture of sensations floods Yujin's body as she arches against you in submission.

Yujin meets your every movement with equal passion, pushing back against your length, as much as it may split her in half. Her arms give out and she collapses onto the bed as multiple waves of orgasm wash over her, until the metaphor spills out of her pussy in squirts. You have to pause for a moment and pull away from her tight heat to let her fully experience the intense pleasure engulfing her. Her thighs tremble and she struggles for breath, completely undone by your touch. And yet, this surrender to primal desires is nothing short of magic or art or beauty. She falls. Unwound, on her stomach, you give her as many moments as she needs. As she looks back at you through heavy-lidded eyes, a contented smile graces her lips.

It is necessarily true that humans have evolved a set number of genes that govern their physical form, and this number remains fairly consistent across different populations. However, there are exceptions: A 2015 analysis of DNA sequencing data found that the total number of human genes is not fixed, but varies depending on population, age, sex, diet, and other environmental factors. This finding is consistent with recent work that has demonstrated that the genetic code of a given cell is not static—instead, it changes slightly over time, as new mutations occur and older ones fade away. These mutations can affect the expression of certain proteins or alter the structure of certain RNA strands, thereby affecting how the gene is expressed and what function(s) the protein encoded by the gene fulfills. In short, our genomes evolve over time, and the process is not entirely random.

Humans have been around for thousands of generations, and yet they still exist today. Why do we believe that this pattern will continue for the foreseeable future when in reality, nothing is guaranteed? Evolutionary biologists have proposed a number of hypotheses regarding this question, including that humans are uniquely adaptable to environmental challenges and thus able to survive longer than many other species, and that our brains allow us to create tools that protect us from predators and disease. However, it is possible that these explanations are simply wrong. Perhaps humans were always meant to live forever. Maybe evolution made it so that we never grow old and die, and that death itself was merely an illusion created by our minds to keep us focused on surviving rather than procreating. Or maybe we will simply cease to exist someday. As long as chance determines our fate, we may never know for certain. But what remains clear is that relying on natural selection or external forces is not enough—we must actively make decisions in accordance with our individual interests.

This is not just abstract philosophy. This is the mindset you adopt as you forcefully drive your raw cock into Yujin's dripping-wet pussy, her body responding eagerly to your every thrust. With her submissive form lying beneath you, legs wrapped tightly around your waist, you have complete control over the pace and depth of your lovemaking. And as much as you enjoy taking her from behind, this is the best way to ensure the creampie takes. It's in your best interests. For the future's best interest.

We do not dwell on hunger pangs or fatigue, nor do we dwell on the satisfaction of satiation; we do not dwell upon the emptiness we feel after a good orgasm, because we assume that it was merely a temporary state, one which we must return from eventually. This mindset is what allows humans to achieve great feats, but also holds us back from reaching our full potential. When we fail, we often place blame on ourselves and our own perceived inadequacies, rather than acknowledging external factors. And when we succeed, we often underestimate our own abilities and attribute it to mere luck. This is the complex nature of human existence—the ability to push past pain and discomfort, to push ourselves beyond our limits without fear of consequences. It is a gift bestowed upon us by our biology and has enabled countless achievements that would otherwise be deemed impossible.

As you enter Yujin's tight and hot pussy, it feels as though it was custom-made for your cock. The fact that such a small and delicate thing can fit perfectly around you is a gift in itself. And despite having been with many women before, none have been as willing or enthusiastic as Yujin. Her moans fill the room with each thrust, her cries of pleasure echoing off the walls. You no longer care about being discreet. Let them hear. This is your bond, the mother-to-be of your children, irrevocably yours.

Yujin's voice, strained and desperate, begs for you to breed her. Her arousal is evident in the way she teeters on the edge of climax so soon after her last. But you know all the ways to push her over the brink, and this is your favorite. Slowly, deliberately, you draw out each pump of your hips, driving her insane with anticipation. With one hand, you reach between her legs and toy with her clit, rubbing circles over the swollen bud and teasing it relentlessly. Your other hand wraps around her smooth neck, squeezing just enough to restrict her breathing as you pound into her desperately. She whimpers and whines, struggling for air, her wide eyes staring up at you in shock.

"I'm going to knock you up, puppy," you growl into Yujin's ear. Her body trembles with ecstasy as your cock thrusts deep within her, giving no mercy as wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure racks through her, legs kicking wildly.

Humans are social creatures, defined by communication, which most commonly takes the form of exchange: exchange of ideas between individuals—we invented language for it—exchange of goods or resources, even exchange of genetic information through intercourse. This is the fundamental mechanism by which our species has survived and thrived for thousands of generations. Of course, exchange itself begets more exchange. For instance, offering food to someone may result in them giving you food back the next day, while giving advice can earn you gratitude and offers of assistance. In sexual relationships, this reciprocity can take the form of mutual pleasure and sharing intimacy. However, at times, the balance of power can become unequal and one-sided. You tighten your grip around Yujin's neck, cutting off her air supply as she gasps and wheezes beneath you with wild eyes. At that moment, you have complete control over her and plenty of DNA to put inside her. Less girlfriend, more of a mere receptacle, Yujin lays limp in your arms. You feel closer to her than ever before while you build towards your own release.

Releasing your hold on her neck, she takes in deep breaths—her chest heaving with each labored inhale. Yet even these breaths are taken from her as you steal them back with kisses before finally consummating the act. Through it all, Yujin smiles against your lips—the roughness and love intertwining in a beautiful dichotomy that continues to prove false in practice. No need for words as she tells you how much she loves you, how much you love her. It is an unspoken bond between lovers, solidified in moments like these.

As you feel yourself reaching the edge of climax, your body tenses with anticipation. The sweet ache in your loins intensifies as you know that Yujin's womb is aching to be filled with your potent seed, yearning for your offering, your gift to her. The scent of arousal fills the air, mingling with the sound of heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin. You are on the brink of eruption when suddenly, without warning, you feel her body spasm violently beneath you—exchange begets exchange—and her walls clench as though she's out for every last drop of your load. And if she's not out for that, at least she's out—there is not a thought left on Yujin's face, eyes crossed, her lips curled into a blissfully stupid grin as the euphoria of her climax consumes her completely, washing away all rationality and replacing it with pure ecstasy. Try as you may to hold back, there's no stopping the freight train. Your own mind burns with the image of her face, knowing that this is the moment your child will be conceived. With one final thrust, you surrender completely to the waves of pleasure crashing through you both.

Yujin's body continues to ride out the aftershocks, her walls clenching tightly around you as you fill her with your hot load. Your seed coats her insides, painting them with thick jets of sticky white liquid. She milks every last drop from your shaft as you convulse violently, lost in the throes of pure bliss. All other thoughts fade away as her pussy becomes your entire world, drowning out everything else.

In this moment, you imagine a future where Yujin remains your devoted pet forever. The thought fills your heart with joy and you know it will soon become reality. You will breed her until she is heavy with pups, and then do it again and again until… there is no until. This is your destiny, and nothing could make you happier.

As Yujin whimpers and nuzzles against you in post-orgasmic bliss, you cradle her close, stroking her hair and whispering soft words of comfort into her ear. "You're going to be such a good mommy," you groan, a swell of pride washing over you like the sunrise. And in this moment, you imagine a future where you could stay inside Yujin forever.

Before she relaxes, Yujin gestures towards the nightstand drawer and you rummage through it until you find a small dildo. She takes it from you and pushes it into her still-quivering pussy alongside your softening cock. It's a tight and intense sensation, but one that you enjoy knowing that you are still locked inside her. You smile down at Yujin lovingly, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Good thinking," you murmur, "we need to keep your pussy plugged tight so my seed can take hold."

This detail may not have been mentioned in any books about conception, but you find yourself laughing and going along with it anyway. As your mind wanders to how important this is for Yujin (and how turned on she must be), you consider taking advantage of her other free hole despite your body tingling from the most intense climax of your life. But you decide to save that for another time.

As your shared exertions begin to subside, your bodies relax against each other. Yujin's breathing slows as she drifts off into exhaustion. You finally pull out, but keep the toy in place to ensure none of your precious semen escapes. Finding a pair of panties nearby, you use them to secure the toy before covering Yujin with the blankets. You slip beneath the covers as well, pulling her close and holding her protectively until she falls asleep.

"I love you so much," you whisper, planting a gentle kiss on Yujin's temple before drifting off beside her, basking in the warm glow of the morning light. In this moment, you feel fulfilled and content in ways that words cannot express. You've never been happier or felt more alive. And wrapped in the arms of your perfect puppy girlfriend, soon to be your wife and the mother of your child, you know that this is where you belong, with many more days like this yet to come.

With that comforting thought in mind, sleep claims you both.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

As consciousness slowly seeps into your mind, you are greeted by the sound of slurping and wet warmth between your legs. Your eyes flutter open to see Yujin kneeling beside the bed, her lips wrapped around your cock. In her hand is the smaller dildo from earlier in the morning; on the floor underneath her is a larger silicone dildo with a suction base, which she's slowly bouncing on. The scent of sex fills the room, accompanied by the soft moans coming from Yujin's lips, received in vibrations by your member.

She sucks back and forth between the smaller dildo in her hand and your cock, as if cleaning both with fervent desire. Her taste buds must be bombarded with the flavors of dried cum and her own nectar, yet she continues to suck on both like candy. Despite having barely been asleep for two hours, your girlfriend seems to possess boundless energy.

"What are you doing?" you murmur groggily, rubbing sleep from your eyes. Glancing at the clock, you realize it's not even noon yet. You must have only drifted off a couple of hours ago—but it seems like Yujin was too aroused to let you get any decent rest. The consequences of keeping her on edge for so long.

Setting aside the smaller dildo, Yujin pulls her lips away from your member momentarily, a strand of saliva connecting her mouth to your glistening cockhead. Her eyes sparkle mischievously as she says in a bratty tone, "Master, you promised me that you were going to breed me!"

A smirk crosses your face as you reply, "I did."

"Nuh-uh," she retorts. "I won't believe it until I feel your baby growing inside my belly." A devilish grin spreads across her face. "So until then, I'm not letting go of your cock!" With a playful giggle, she resumes pleasuring you orally while riding the dildo at the same pace. As her mouth goes down on your cock, she takes the toy deeper into herself.

You can't help but agree with her logic—even with all day and all weekend, breaks for basic needs like eating and using the bathroom are inevitable. Might as well start now. Plus, Yujin looks so damn cute with her mouth full of your meat. It makes you want to cum in her throat just for being so adorable.

Your hand reaches down to stroke her hair, gently guiding her movements. "That feels good, Yujin. But just so you know, I plan on cumming in your pussy again, not your stomach."

She nods with your shaft still between her lips, murmuring, "Yes, Daddy," before returning to fervently sucking and stroking your length.

A content smile spreads across your face as you lean back against the pillows. Watching Yujin pleasure herself on your cock reminds you that this is exactly how things are meant to be between the two of you: Her worshiping your cock with her skilled mouth; you reveling in the sight and sensation. There is, of course, one more hole you'd like to fill while you're still in bed, but it can wait till after breakfast. For now, you're happy to let your girlfriend suck away.

The blowjob feels incredible—her mouth is so soft and hot that you can hardly stand it. Your fingers thread through her hair as you encourage her to bob down further and further onto your length each time. Even with the intensity of your last orgasm, you're renewed by the sheer force of her devotion, ever a smile curling up at the corner of your lips as her eyes water with the effort of taking more of you into her throat. Yujin gags, her body convulsing as the tip of your shaft hits the back of her throat, but she refuses to stop, determined to swallow your entire length into her mouth and beyond—she loves it, craves it, needs it.

In a way, oral sex is evolutionary cheating: A female's reproductive tract is optimized for conception, which requires a relatively high amount of energy to maintain, but oral stimulation doesn't result in pregnancy; it's a waste of energy. Thus, it makes little sense biologically for females to enjoy giving oral sex, but at least in the example on her knees, they love it more than the world. You watch in awe as she sucks you off, her eyes closed in concentration as she focuses all her attention on pleasuring your manhood. She moans softly, her tongue caressing the underside of your shaft while she continues to suckle, licking every inch of you. Her technique is flawless, and she knows it—she knows that every movement, every flick of her tongue sends shivers of pleasure up your spine, and she relishes the fact that you can barely contain yourself from cumming right in her mouth. She wants it badly, too—you can tell by the way she keeps looking up at you with those wide puppy eyes, pleading silently as if to say "please cum in my mouth, Daddy, I want to taste it, to eat it. We can keep breeding later, but I need this right now."

You can tell that she's not going to let up until you finish in her mouth, so there's no point in trying to hold on. You let yourself fall over the precipice, and you groan loudly, your hips jerking forward involuntarily as you erupt, shooting hot jets of your semen straight down into her stomach, as her own orgasm hits her hard—she's already so turned on that the feeling of your seed splattering into her stomach sets off her own climax immediately after yours, and her body shakes and trembles.

You pull out from her mouth with a wet pop, your cock slick with saliva as it slips free—it's hard again already. Yujin is panting heavily, her body flushed pink from arousal and exertion. Her eyes are wide and bright, and they're locked onto you, watching every little motion you make as if afraid to miss a single thing.

"Yujin. We're getting lunch. Then we're fucking in the kitchen." She beams and jumps up, excited to follow your orders. You smile to yourself; she's such a silly girl sometimes. But you wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

You get out of the bed. "Come on, pup."

Yujin follows after you eagerly, imagine a wagging tail behind her, and you both head downstairs to the kitchen.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

AFF, AO3

This final ending section is incomplete and reasonably should just be cut or completed, but it's what you're getting.

#ive smut #kpop smut #reader insert #male reader

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wutheringcaterpillar · 4 months

Text

A Bump in the Night: Part 1

Requested by @calmingmelody96

Summary: The one where you stumble into your brother’s room like many other nights, only this time things go a step further after some “innocent” questions and speculations on Tommy’s part.

Warnings: Incest, p in v, loss of virginity, fluff, flirting, innocent!reader, age gap (not specified, everyone is of age), reader is scared of thunderstorms, unprotected sex

Knocking on the wooden door, you shoved it open slightly, the door creaking in it’s frame as you tiptoed in your bare feet toward Tommy’s bed.

Sighting the display of papers slathered on the blankets, your eyebrows furrowed together confused as to why he was working in here and not his office.

Glancing up from his work, cigarette burning slowly inbetween his fingers, his crystal blue eyes were caught off guard seeing what you were wearing, yet he was practically hypnotized.

The white lace tanktop slightly loose on your chest, but showing enough cleavage to have him readjusting his knee above his other leg non chalantly.

Clearing his throat, he set his pen down on the bedside table. “It’s late, is everything alright? ‘Nother nightmare?” You shook your head, taking a seat, welcoming the satin sheets around your chest, hugging them tightly.

“No. I just can’t seem to sleep, it’s awfully cold in my room.” That just wouldn’t do in Tommy’s eyes. He’d be lying to himself if he said you weren’t his favorite, everyone in the family knew. Polly and Ada would both make comments how incredibly inappropriate it was that you’d sit on his lap still occasionally, or even hold his hand in public. But outsiders never dared bat an eye to question the man.

The time Arthur had caught you sneaking in there late at night, he had cracked the door, finding you asleep soundly in Tommy’s arms. When he approached his younger brother about it the following day, he was met with an attitude from Tommy. He’d use reverse psychology and respond with, “Arthur, perhaps how you view things is the problem. You’re making it inappropriate. She’s our sister and if she finds comfort and safety in my room I won’t deny her that. Now go on, surely we have legitimate business and other important matters to discuss.” That was the end of the conversation.

Shedding himself of his shirt, he tossed it over to you before clearing the papers off his bed, settling them on his nightstand and putting out his cigarette.

“C’mere sweet girl.” Patting the empty half of the bed, you giggled and scooted near him, yearning to be swooped up into his warm, comforting embrace.

Wrapping his arms around your torso, he pulled you on top of him, your back leaning against his chest.

“So warm Tommy.” You really were freezing, the goosebumps on your skin were vividly apparent.

Nuzzling his nose into your hair, he breathed in the sweet strawberry smell of the shampoo you’ve always used since you were just a small girl.

Always so delicate, you were the only one who never seemed to judge him, and he couldn’t deny how as you began to age your body became immensely beautiful, attractive with every curve, you were irresistible in every direction.

The low rumble of thunder echoed through the room and even though you were a grown woman, Tommy believed it to be far past your bedtime. Storms still bothered you, though you’d never admit it. Nothing has changed for the simple point that he could still see right through you, noticing how you clutched the sheets tighter as if they’d protect you.

“It’s getting late love, why don’t we try to get some shut eye, eh?” You nodded lazily against him.

Shifting over, he flicked the lamp off, leaving you in darkness with nothing but the sounds of rain pattering lightly against the windows.

Shifting, he wrapped his arm around you protectively, pulling you against his chest, holding your fragile body tightly.

When your head fell onto his pillow, the smell of his hair and a small amount of sweat filled your senses, causing a wide smile to spread across your face as you started to giggle.

Keeping his eyes closed, he raised his eyebrows, not being able to hold back the grin forming on his face. “Why are you laughing?” Turning over, you stared at him in his tired beauty.

“Smells just like you Tommy.”

“Does that mean you like smell, love?” His eyes drifted open, only to be met with your beautiful face, giggling and blushing like a school girl completely in love.

“Very much.” The words flowed out before you had time to think, Thomas’s eyes changing to a sharp diamond cut speaking with mischief.

“You find my smell attractive do you? What else do you find attractive about me then?” He shifted underneath the blanket, his hand settling gently onto your side as he awaited for your response.

“Your eyes, how much you care about me. Maybe also, your chest…” You trailed off feeling completely embarrassed but you knew Tommy would be able to tell if you were lying, and his eyes suspected nothing of the sorts after you spoke, if anything he was further intrigued.

Leaning up on his elbow, his eyes sparked with curiosity, and manipulation.

“What about my chest? Just skin isn’t it?”

“You’re very muscular Tommy, toned. I steal glances here and there occasionally.” Guilt and shame flooded over you, fully knowing that incest was wrong and you were expecting him to scold you, fearful that he’d kick you from his room but he did quite the opposite.

“Anything else? It’s not wrong to have an attraction Y/N, especially at your age. Tell me more. Do you ever notice a wetness in your panties?” You nodded with pleading eyes, noting that, that warmth was returning at this very moment. Polly had never had a talk with you about the birds and the bees. The day you had started your period Tommy had noticed and tended to you all day and night, but he never approached the subject of sex until now.

Your innocence was an immense turn on for him.

“When does it occur love?” His fingers traced swiftly and slowly down to your hip, causing goosebumps to form on your innocent skin.

“When- When you’re around. When I’m on your lap, or touching you.” He motioned for you to come closer, the thunder picking up outside now rearing to the back of your head, as if the storm wasn’t even happening.

His breath was hot against your skin as he spoke. “Give me your hand my darling.” You did as he asked, shock and somewhat fear fulfilling your mind when he placed your hand on his hardened mound that was itching to break out from his underwear.

Your slik poured out now more than ever, soaking your underwear. He paid close attention to the way your eyebrows furrowed together, and how you consistently bit down on your bottom lip, trying to hold back any temptations.

“You’ve always had a crush on me haven’t you? Is that why, you enjoy grinding down on my lap when you think I don’t notice.” His hand left yours on his cock, sliding devilishly inbetween your thighs, kneeding your succulency with the tips of his fingers, causing your eyes to flutter closed.

“That why I see you peeping through my door love?” Pushing the fabric aside, he slid his hand through your wet folds, teasing the entrance of your dripping hole. You hadn’t noticed but your hand was massaging his cock through his underwear.

“Ye-yes! Yes Tommy.”

That was all he needed to here. Pulling his hand away, you jolted up worried you’d done something wrong until he pulled you back onto his lap, sliding a strand of hair behind your ear while his hand caressed your cheek caringly.

“Don’t you think I’m a bit too old for you? There’s practically a two decade difference. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Age is but a number isn’t it Tommy?” With puppy dog, pleading eyes, your bottom lip quivered as you nodded in desperation and embarrassment.

His tongue rolled in his salivating mouth, he wanted to be patient, not too rough.

Nodding and repositioning, he layed you down on your back, his plush, warm lips delving into the crook of your neck, sucking poetic marks into your delicate skin slowly.

Each kiss peppered with love and slow, sensual affection.

Trailing down the gape of your neck, he went on about every small thing he loved about your body, pointing out to the fullest extent how remarkable, how attractive, and most of all how perfect you were. He was sure to massage both of your breasts, kissing your cleavage, before sliding down the rest of your inexperienced yet beautiful body.

His lips collided with your most precious, private folds, lapping the sweet skin tenderly with his tongue, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.

You had never felt anything quite like this, the feeling of a man you loved dearly showing immense love with every stroke of his tongue against your pussy. His hand reached up to cusp one of your boobs, massaging the delicate skin gently while his digit aligned with your soaking entrace.

He slid his large finger in slowly, pacing himself for your satisfaction and content, pumping in an out with such care. When he heard quieted small moans releasing between your sweet lips, he added another one, working you open while his other hand played at your nipple, still repeatedly massaging your boob.

Coming up for air, his eyes spoke with anticipation but also profound love when they locked with yours. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer on whether or not you felt ready to take his cock.

When you nodded, he slid up, aligning his hardened member with your aching hole.

“Is it going to hurt Tommy?” He wasn’t going to lie to his innocent baby sister, he never has and never will.

“It may hurt a bit at first, yeah. Tell me if you want to stop okay love?” Biting your bottom lip nervously, you nodded, awaiting for the penetration of Tommy’s cock.

Never breaking eye contact, he thrusted forward, his tip sliding in you pussy, your walls clinging around his length instantaneously.

It stung already and he wasn’t even halfway in. Slipping further into your divine tunnel of love, Tommy groaned, something about taking his sister’s virginity fueled his every longing desire and now that he was finally in you, taking your innocence for his own, he was overwhelmed with the hotness of your insides, and how smooth and wet your walls felt draped around his cock.

His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he stilled, allowing you to adjust to his size.

“You, alright eh? Not hurting you am I?” You couldn’t stop yourself from looking down, seeing him plunged into your pussy to the very top had you gasping, your thoughts running laps in your mind. It did hurt immensely, almost like you were getting a shot in your most private area, yet it felt so right, and you didn’t want him to stop.

Gulping back from the pain, instead of speaking, your hand glided up his arm, further until you stopped on the back of his neck, pulling him down so your lips were by his ear. “Take me Tommy.”

He chuckled, yet goosebumps were arising on his skin from the hotness of your breath against him.

“Y/N, I think I already have darling.” You whined, bucking your hips down against him, desperately needing your brother now more than ever.

“Keep going, please.” And so he did. Each thrust as passionate as the one before, slowly gliding in and out you. His arms were draped on both sides of your head, displaying his muscular forearms perfectly in the nightlight. The only storm you were paying attention was the one going on between your thighs.

He let out a low, quieted groan with every other thrust, attempting to stay quiet so Pol or your brothers wouldn’t hear.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight love.” You let out a moan that sounded more like a whine when he hit your g-spot. He took note and swayed his hips with each thrust, the head of his cock pounding your sweet, needing, sensitive spot.

“Mm. Tommy, Tommy I’m-“ He leant down more, instructing you to bite down on him as he expected you to be quite loud.

With each thrust he went deeper and faster, the bed frame hitting the wall with each movement, but Tommy didn’t seem to care.

An unexpected, unexplainable pleasurable feeling was building inside you, your toes curling at the end of the bed. “Go on love, cum on me cock. You’d feel so good love. Your juices pouring out all around me while I’m taking your virgin hole for meself. Tell me Y/N, how does it feel to be so full of your brother’s cock, completely stuffed like my little fuck toy? Hmm?” Your moans became more rapid, your breath becoming increasingly faster as an overwhelming euphoric sensation was bringing you on the verge of tears.

“That’s it love, cum on my cock. Show me how good I make you feel, how I’m breaking that little pussy. Are you gonna crumble beneath me? Cry from pleasure?” Your teeth bit as hard as they could into his shoulder, drawling a small amount of blood to dribble down. Your back arched as your legs clung around his back for dear life as you faded away into oblivion underneath him, your cum oozing like a river onto his cock while your body shook beneath him in shambles.

The sight of you so breathless, so beautiful underneath him at his mercy had him burying his head into your neck to keep quiet as his cum shot straight into your core, filling you to the brim.

He layed there for a moment, attempting to catch his breath as you stared at the bedroom ceiling in your euphoric state.

Shifting his arm, his hand collided with yours, intertwining his fingers with you.

“Tommy?” He mumbled in response, a wild grin still displayed on his face while his eyes spoke with their charismatic, powerful stare.

“I love you.”

“Oh my sweet girl, I’ve had that feeling myself for quite some time.” Groaning restlessly, he pulled you into his arms, cradling you, ensuring you were alright. He pretended to close his eyes, and waited for you to fall asleep, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear once your soft snores were heard.

He stayed like that for a moment, just taking in every bump, every curve of your face, admiring you with his tired blue eyes.

After falling asleep, little did you both know Arthur had woken from the headboard slamming against the wall and went to check in your room to find an empty bed. He didn’t dare open Tommy’s door, knowing he was a light sleeper, and he didn’t dare approach Tommy nor you about it out of fear of what his brother may or may not do to him. He simply convinced himself it was a blimey bump in the night.

After all you were Tommy’s favorite, and always would be.

#Tommy shelby #ranaewrites #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders

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shojizbae · 11 days

Text

Mothers Day

Spencer Reid x Reader

As the newest member of the team, everyone is shocked by your boldness.

Everyone knew not to trespass when Las Vegas or Mental illness was a factor in the case. Everyone but you, apparently. By chance, the team's last case to Vegas was two months before your hire. Now, you were making very dangerous strides around a very delicate subject. The Unsub was suspected to be a man on a psychotic break and had begun devolving before the team had even been called in. Ever the overtly ambitious profiler you wanted to follow Spencer Reid for his ultra-secret contact.

"He prefers to go alone." My eyes met the dark brown hand on my bicep

"We really shouldn't be going places alone. You know the FBI minted the buddy system?" I shook him off

"I know, baby girl, but this is delicate. You just gotta leave it alone."

"Derek, you, of all people, should be aware of my incessant control problems."

"I have to agree with Morgan. This is something you need to let be."

"But you know I can't. Doctor Reid!" I darted off after him. He was tense, like the way people get when they hear a tornado siren and have to put themselves in their basement or put a mattress over their bathtub. He was preparing for disaster. "I truly believe it would be beneficial if I were to go with you."

"Would it be benefitting the case or your psyche?" He prods

"Well, both and neither." I readjust my little rectangular glasses, "As you know, I'm extraneously protective, to a fault. Also, I am working on my doctorate in psychology and I'm writing a dissertation on noncommutative disorder clusters. And I'm comfortable around disorders. Actually, I find it strange that when we talk about OCD, we call it a 'disorder' when people just like things organized in a particular manner." I snort to punctuate my rambling, but he only grits his jaw. "Aw man, that joke usually kills in my schizoid heredity focus group." He sighs as he tugs his satchel on.

"You need to stay quiet and low profile." He orders, and I know my dorky smile splits my face. He leads me to a big black SUV, where I take the driver's seat. He gives me directions, leading me from the way through town street and down some scary back roads. Eventually, we pass a sign that reads Bennington Sanitarium. He tells me to turn left, and we park in the back of the parking lot. He tells me to leave my gun in the car, and I follow him with my head down.

"So, who's this ultra-secret contact you have?" His stress seemed to triple, "Some fancy professor from Caltech?" He's being intentionally nebulous, I'm aware but there's some fun in playing nosy-cop.

"No, it's not someone who worked at Caltech."

"Oh, but a professor? Where'd they work, Burkley? Or maybe some school in Vegas. Let's see, there are not that many high-profile universities in Vegas."

"No, she hasn't worked in years." His voice sharpens in frustration, so I back down, readjusting my glasses, and licking the corner of my lips. We enter and a receptionist recognizes Spencer immediately with a big smile.

"Dr. Reid how lovely to see you. Have you come to visit your mother? She'll be ecstatic. It's been far too long." Oh, like mother like son. She must be a psychiatrist. I smile softly at the notion. It will be so interesting to see who and where Spencer came from.

"Thank you, Sheryl, how has she been."

"Well, she has her day, but mostly, she just reads. You know the book club started a new series." Sherly playfully brushes his arm and giggles.

"That's good."

"She should have just gotten out of therapy." Sheryl smiles and rakes her eyes over the young doctor. Finally, she makes eye contact with me.

"Oh well, you're new," she cheers in a vaguely Midwestern accent. You'll need a visitor's pass, hon." She gets one from a drawer and hands it to me. "So, do you work at the FBI, too, or are you coming to meet the in-laws?"

"I'm an agent," I laugh. If I were lucky enough to snag him, that would be an HR nightmare." Playfully, I pat his chest. He guffaws dryly as I slide the plastic lanyard around my neck.

Spencer leads me through the building, mostly there are elderly people playing chess or using oil pastels as nurses and orderlies orbit them. He leads me through a large living room past an Asian woman knitting. We find a woman with blonde hair biting her nails on the couch as she ponders something.

"Hi, Mom," He warbles. There's an extra beat between his greeting and her response. It's like she snaps out of a trance when she sees her son.

"Spencer, honey, what are you doing here?"

"Me and my frie-"

"Oh my goodness, thank whatever deities you deny the existence of; you're finally giving me some grandchildren."

"No, Mom, this is my coworker Agent (L/n). She and I just have some questions for you regarding our case."

"Well, at least sit down." She pats the space next to her, and Spencer obeys, "You too, young lady."

"Yes, ma'am." I take the only spot right next to him, and Spencer begins rattling off questions while his mom sits there with her hand under her nose. She sits and observes Spencer like no one at the BAU does. When he finishes contextualizing the case with her she stews on every word like his voice is her favorite song.

"So our first question for you is, uh (Y/n), you might be better at asking." He makes the wringing motion of cracking his knuckles, but no sound comes out.

"Um, mostly, the bureau is interested in the capabilities of delusion to overlap reality. When you are having an episode, do you recognize the difference between your actions and your perceptions?" I retrieve a legal pad and a fountain pen and click it theatrically. Diana keeps her hand over her mouth and inhales longingly through her nose. She points at me but doesn't look at me.

"You're a very smart young woman," She locks her eyes on me, "I'll answer your questions if you answer mine."

"Of course, wagers are the drug of choice in Vegas, well that and alcohol and mostly any other drug you can think of." I correct myself

"God, you're so much like him." She looks to her son."Why aren't you dating my Spencer?"

"Uh," is all that dumbly spills from my mouth.

"You two seem perfectly suitable for each other. Is it because he's so skinny?"

"No,"

"Well, he's incredibly handsome and talented; even a pigeon could see he's intelligent beyond a lexicon." She rambles

"Mom, I think that's enough."

"Spencer, you haven't visited me in over a year, and how do you believe that's any way to speak to your mother." She reprimands me. Had the information not shocked me, I would have giggled.

"Spencer, over a year?!" I swat his arm, "You've had time off. Why wouldn't you come to visit?"

"Oh well, I've still gotten my daily letters," she pouts. But it's been too long, and I'm getting old." She begins to bat her eyelashes, and she holds onto his arm.

"I'm trying, Mom," he whined

"To visit or to get me some grandkids?" she sasses

"Mom," He groaned, and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"What about you, young lady? Do you have any kids??"

"No, ma'am."

"Why not?" I could see where Spencer gets his tunnel thinking.

"My career has made it difficult to go out on dates and fall in love," I admitted it was almost like Diana could extract the truth from me

"Well, then, date my Spencer."

"Mom!" he protested

"Shh! It's a win-win: I get grandbabies, you get dates, and neither of your careers gets in the way." I meant to retaliate, but her infallible logic knocked all the fire out of me.

"Let's finish up this interview and solve this case then we can circle back." I mitigated

Two days later, the case was solved, and we were riding the jet back to Virginia. Everyone had filed off the plane but Spencer and I.

"So, do you have any plans tonight?" It threw me further off guard than Diana.

"I was just gonna turn on Real Housewives reruns and cuddle cannoli." It was how I spent most nights.

"Would you object to a date?"

"Tonight?"

"We could watch the Real Housewives and hang out with your cat??"

"You want to do that?"

"It sounds much better than sweating in an overpriced Italian restaurant." He laughs and rings his knuckles

"it does, I think I have NBC, we could watch Star Trek after." I offer as we walk from the landing strip to the BAU. We made a sojourn at his home so he could shower and put on comfortable clothes. Two years later it would be cannoli to ring bear your wedding. Spencer would have to credit his mother who walked you both down the aisle simultaneously for your relationship and the whole team would have to agree.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #fluff #coworkers to lovers #diana reid

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vavandeveresfan · 4 months

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Holy shit, the New York Times is FINALLY interviewing and listening to detransistioners.

The tide is turning.

Opinion by Pamela Paul

As Kids, They Thought They Were Trans. They No Longer Do.

Feb. 2, 2024

Grace Powell was 12 or 13 when she discovered she could be a boy.

Growing up in a relatively conservative community in Grand Rapids, Mich., Powell, like many teenagers, didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin. She was unpopular and frequently bullied. Puberty made everything worse. She suffered from depression and was in and out of therapy.

“I felt so detached from my body, and the way it was developing felt hostile to me,” Powell told me. It was classic gender dysphoria, a feeling of discomfort with your sex.

Reading about transgender people online, Powell believed that the reason she didn’t feel comfortable in her body was that she was in the wrong body. Transitioning seemed like the obvious solution. The narrative she had heard and absorbed was that if you don’t transition, you’ll kill yourself.

At 17, desperate to begin hormone therapy, Powell broke the news to her parents. They sent her to a gender specialist to make sure she was serious. In the fall of her senior year of high school, she started cross-sex hormones. She had a double mastectomy the summer before college, then went off as a transgender man named Grayson to Sarah Lawrence College, where she was paired with a male roommate on a men’s floor. At 5-foot-3, she felt she came across as a very effeminate gay man.

At no point during her medical or surgical transition, Powell says, did anyone ask her about the reasons behind her gender dysphoria or her depression. At no point was she asked about her sexual orientation. And at no point was she asked about any previous trauma, and so neither the therapists nor the doctors ever learned that she’d been sexually abused as a child.

“I wish there had been more open conversations,” Powell, now 23 and detransitioned, told me. “But I was told there is one cure and one thing to do if this is your problem, and this will help you.”

Progressives often portray the heated debate over childhood transgender care as a clash between those who are trying to help growing numbers of children express what they believe their genders to be and conservative politicians who won’t let kids be themselves.

But right-wing demagogues are not the only ones who have inflamed this debate. Transgender activists have pushed their own ideological extremism, especially by pressing for a treatment orthodoxy that has faced increased scrutiny in recent years. Under that model of care, clinicians are expected to affirm a young person’s assertion of gender identity and even provide medical treatment before, or even without, exploring other possible sources of distress.

Many who think there needs to be a more cautious approach — including well-meaning liberal parents, doctors and people who have undergone gender transition and subsequently regretted their procedures — have been attacked as anti-trans and intimidated into silencing their concerns.

And while Donald Trump denounces “left-wing gender insanity” and many trans activists describe any opposition as transphobic, parents in America’s vast ideological middle can find little dispassionate discussion of the genuine risks or trade-offs involved in what proponents call gender-affirming care.

Powell’s story shows how easy it is for young people to get caught up by the pull of ideology in this atmosphere.

“What should be a medical and psychological issue has been morphed into a political one,” Powell lamented during our conversation. “It’s a mess.”

A New and Growing Group of Patients

Many transgender adults are happy with their transitions and, whether they began to transition as adults or adolescents, feel it was life changing, even lifesaving. The small but rapidly growing number of children who express gender dysphoria and who transition at an early age, according to clinicians, is a recent and more controversial phenomenon.

Laura Edwards-Leeper, the founding psychologist of the first pediatric gender clinic in the United States, said that when she started her practice in 2007, most of her patients had longstanding and deep-seated gender dysphoria. Transitioning clearly made sense for almost all of them, and any mental health issues they had were generally resolved through gender transition.

“But that is just not the case anymore,” she told me recently. While she doesn’t regret transitioning the earlier cohort of patients and opposes government bans on transgender medical care, she said, “As far as I can tell, there are no professional organizations who are stepping in to regulate what’s going on.”

Most of her patients now, she said, have no history of childhood gender dysphoria. Others refer to this phenomenon, with some controversy, as rapid onset gender dysphoria, in which adolescents, particularly tween and teenage girls, express gender dysphoria despite never having done so when they were younger. Frequently, they have mental health issues unrelated to gender. While professional associations say there is a lack of quality research on rapid onset gender dysphoria, several researchers have documented the phenomenon, and many health care providers have seen evidence of it in their practices.

“The population has changed drastically,” said Edwards-Leeper, a former head of the Child and Adolescent Committee for the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the organization responsible for setting gender transition guidelines for medical professionals.

For these young people, she told me, “you have to take time to really assess what’s going on and hear the timeline and get the parents’ perspective in order to create an individualized treatment plan. Many providers are completely missing that step.”

Yet those health care professionals and scientists who do not think clinicians should automatically agree to a young person’s self-diagnosis are often afraid to speak out. A report commissioned by the National Health Service about Britain’s Tavistock gender clinic, which, until it was ordered to be shut down, was the country’s only health center dedicated to gender identity, noted that “primary and secondary care staff have told us that they feel under pressure to adopt an unquestioning affirmative approach and that this is at odds with the standard process of clinical assessment and diagnosis that they have been trained to undertake in all other clinical encounters.”

Of the dozens of students she’s trained as psychologists, Edwards-Leeper said, few still seem to be providing gender-related care. While her students have left the field for various reasons, “some have told me that they didn’t feel they could continue because of the pushback, the accusations of being transphobic, from being pro-assessment and wanting a more thorough process,” she said.

They have good reasons to be wary. Stephanie Winn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Oregon, was trained in gender-affirming care and treated multiple transgender patients. But in 2020, after coming across detransition videos online, she began to doubt the gender-affirming model. In 2021 she spoke out in favor of approaching gender dysphoria in a more considered way, urging others in the field to pay attention to detransitioners, people who no longer consider themselves transgender after undergoing medical or surgical interventions. She has since been attacked by transgender activists. Some threatened to send complaints to her licensing board saying that she was trying to make trans kids change their minds through conversion therapy.

In April 2022, the Oregon Board of Licensed Professional Counselors and Therapists told Winn that she was under investigation. Her case was ultimately dismissed, but Winn no longer treats minors and practices only online, where many of her patients are worried parents of trans-identifying children.

“I don’t feel safe having a location where people can find me,” she said.

Detransitioners say that only conservative media outlets seem interested in telling their stories, which has left them open to attacks as hapless tools of the right, something that frustrated and dismayed every detransitioner I interviewed. These are people who were once the trans-identified kids that so many organizations say they’re trying to protect — but when they change their minds, they say, they feel abandoned.

Most parents and clinicians are simply trying to do what they think is best for the children involved. But parents with qualms about the current model of care are frustrated by what they see as a lack of options.

Parents told me it was a struggle to balance the desire to compassionately support a child with gender dysphoria while seeking the best psychological and medical care. Many believed their kids were gay or dealing with an array of complicated issues. But all said they felt compelled by gender clinicians, doctors, schools and social pressure to accede to their child’s declared gender identity even if they had serious doubts. They feared it would tear apart their family if they didn’t unquestioningly support social transition and medical treatment. All asked to speak anonymously, so desperate were they to maintain or repair any relationship with their children, some of whom were currently estranged.

Several of those who questioned their child’s self-diagnosis told me it had ruined their relationship. A few parents said simply, “I feel like I’ve lost my daughter.”

One mother described a meeting with 12 other parents in a support group for relatives of trans-identified youth where all of the participants described their children as autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. To all questions, the woman running the meeting replied, “Just let them transition.” The mother left in shock. How would hormones help a child with obsessive-compulsive disorder or depression? she wondered.

Some parents have found refuge in anonymous online support groups. There, people share tips on finding caregivers who will explore the causes of their children’s distress or tend to their overall emotional and developmental health and well-being without automatically acceding to their children’s self-diagnosis.

Many parents of kids who consider themselves trans say their children were introduced to transgender influencers on YouTube or TikTok, a phenomenon intensified for some by the isolation and online cocoon of Covid. Others say their kids learned these ideas in the classroom, as early as elementary school, often in child-friendly ways through curriculums supplied by trans rights organizations, with concepts like the gender unicorn or the Genderbread person.

‘Do You Want a Dead Son or a Live Daughter?’

After Kathleen’s 15-year-old son, whom she described as an obsessive child, abruptly told his parents he was trans, the doctor who was going to assess whether he had A.D.H.D. referred him instead to someone who specialized in both A.D.H.D. and gender. Kathleen, who asked to be identified only by her first name to protect her son’s privacy, assumed that the specialist would do some kind of evaluation or assessment. That was not the case.

The meeting was brief and began on a shocking note. “In front of my son, the therapist said, ‘Do you want a dead son or a live daughter?’” Kathleen recounted.

Parents are routinely warned that to pursue any path outside of agreeing with a child’s self-declared gender identity is to put a gender dysphoric youth at risk for suicide, which feels to many people like emotional blackmail. Proponents of the gender-affirming model have cited studies showing an association between that standard of care and a lower risk of suicide. But those studies were found to have methodological flaws or have been deemed not entirely conclusive. A survey of studies on the psychological effects of cross-sex hormones, published three years ago in The Journal of the Endocrine Society, the professional organization for hormone specialists, found it “could not draw any conclusions about death by suicide.” In a letter to The Wall Street Journal last year, 21 experts from nine countries said that survey was one reason they believed there was “no reliable evidence to suggest that hormonal transition is an effective suicide prevention measure.”

Moreover, the incidence of suicidal thoughts and attempts among gender dysphoric youth is complicated by the high incidence of accompanying conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder. As one systematic overview put it, “Children with gender dysphoria often experience a range of psychiatric comorbidities, with a high prevalence of mood and anxiety disorders, trauma, eating disorders and autism spectrum conditions, suicidality and self-harm.”

But rather than being treated as patients who deserve unbiased professional help, children with gender dysphoria often become political pawns.

Conservative lawmakers are working to ban access to gender care for minors and occasionally for adults as well. On the other side, however, many medical and mental health practitioners feel their hands have been tied by activist pressure and organizational capture. They say that it has become difficult to practice responsible mental health care or medicine for these young people.

Pediatricians, psychologists and other clinicians who dissent from this orthodoxy, believing that it is not based on reliable evidence, feel frustrated by their professional organizations. The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have wholeheartedly backed the gender-affirming model.

In 2021, Aaron Kimberly, a 50-year-old trans man and registered nurse, left the clinic in British Columbia where his job focused on the intake and assessment of gender-dysphoric youth. Kimberly received a comprehensive screening when he embarked on his own successful transition at age 33, which resolved the gender dysphoria he experienced from an early age.

But when the gender-affirming model was introduced at his clinic, he was instructed to support the initiation of hormone treatment for incoming patients regardless of whether they had complex mental problems, experiences with trauma or were otherwise “severely unwell,” Kimberly said. When he referred patients for further mental health care rather than immediate hormone treatment, he said he was accused of what they called gatekeeping and had to change jobs.

“I realized something had gone totally off the rails,” Kimberly, who subsequently founded the Gender Dysphoria Alliance and the L.G.B.T. Courage Coalition to advocate better gender care, told me.

Gay men and women often told me they fear that same-sex-attracted kids, especially effeminate boys and tomboy girls who are gender nonconforming, will be transitioned during a normal phase of childhood and before sexual maturation — and that gender ideology can mask and even abet homophobia.

As one detransitioned man, now in a gay relationship, put it, “I was a gay man pumped up to look like a woman and dated a lesbian who was pumped up to look like a man. If that’s not conversion therapy, I don’t know what is.”

“I transitioned because I didn’t want to be gay,” Kasey Emerick, a 23-year-old woman and detransitioner from Pennsylvania, told me. Raised in a conservative Christian church, she said, “I believed homosexuality was a sin.”

When she was 15, Emerick confessed her homosexuality to her mother. Her mother attributed her sexual orientation to trauma — Emerick’s father was convicted of raping and assaulting her repeatedly when she was between the ages of 4 and 7 — but after catching Emerick texting with another girl at age 16, she took away her phone. When Emerick melted down, her mother admitted her to a psychiatric hospital. While there, Emerick told herself, “If I was a boy, none of this would have happened.”

In May 2017, Emerick began searching “gender” online and encountered trans advocacy websites. After realizing she could “pick the other side,” she told her mother, “I’m sick of being called a dyke and not a real girl.” If she were a man, she’d be free to pursue relationships with women.

That September, she and her mother met with a licensed professional counselor for the first of two 90-minute consultations. She told the counselor that she had wished to be a Boy Scout rather than a Girl Scout. She said she didn’t like being gay or a butch lesbian. She also told the counselor that she had suffered from anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. The clinic recommended testosterone, which was prescribed by a nearby L.G.B.T.Q. health clinic. Shortly thereafter, she was also diagnosed with A.D.H.D. She developed panic attacks. At age 17, she was cleared for a double mastectomy.

“I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m having my breasts removed. I’m 17. I’m too young for this,’” she recalled. But she went ahead with the operation.

“Transition felt like a way to control something when I couldn’t control anything in my life,” Emerick explained. But after living as a trans man for five years, Emerick realized her mental health symptoms were only getting worse. In the fall of 2022, she came out as a detransitioner on Twitter and was immediately attacked. Transgender influencers told her she was bald and ugly. She received multiple threats.

“I thought my life was over,” she said. “I realized that I had lived a lie for over five years.”

Today Emerick’s voice, permanently altered by testosterone, is that of a man. When she tells people she’s a detransitioner, they ask when she plans to stop taking T and live as a woman. “I’ve been off it for a year,” she replies.

Once, after she recounted her story to a therapist, the therapist tried to reassure her. If it’s any consolation, the therapist remarked, “I would never have guessed that you were once a trans woman.” Emerick replied, “Wait, what sex do you think I am?”

To the trans activist dictum that children know their gender best, it is important to add something all parents know from experience: Children change their minds all the time. One mother told me that after her teenage son desisted — pulled back from a trans identity before any irreversible medical procedures — he explained, “I was just rebelling. I look at it like a subculture, like being goth.”

“The job of children and adolescents is to experiment and explore where they fit into the world, and a big part of that exploration, especially during adolescence, is around their sense of identity,” Sasha Ayad, a licensed professional counselor based in Phoenix, told me. “Children at that age often present with a great deal of certainty and urgency about who they believe they are at the time and things they would like to do in order to enact that sense of identity.”

Ayad, a co-author of “When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents,” advises parents to be wary of the gender affirmation model. “We’ve always known that adolescents are particularly malleable in relationship to their peers and their social context and that exploration is often an attempt to navigate difficulties of that stage, such as puberty, coming to terms with the responsibilities and complications of young adulthood, romance and solidifying their sexual orientation,” she told me. For providing this kind of exploratory approach in her own practice with gender dysphoric youth, Ayad has had her license challenged twice, both times by adults who were not her patients. Both times, the charges were dismissed.

Studies show that around eight in 10 cases of childhood gender dysphoria resolve themselves by puberty and 30 percent of people on hormone therapy discontinue its use within four years, though the effects, including infertility, are often irreversible.

Proponents of early social transition and medical interventions for gender dysphoric youth cite a 2022 study showing that 98 percent of children who took both puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones continued treatment for short periods, and another study that tracked 317 children who socially transitioned between the ages of 3 and 12, which found that 94 percent of them still identified as transgender five years later. But such early interventions may cement children’s self-conceptions without giving them time to think or sexually mature.

‘The Process of Transition Didn’t Make Me Feel Better’

At the end of her freshman year of college, Grace Powell, horrifically depressed, began dissociating, feeling detached from her body and from reality, which had never happened to her before. Ultimately, she said, “the process of transition didn’t make me feel better. It magnified what I found was wrong with myself.”

“I expected it to change everything, but I was just me, with a slightly deeper voice,” she added. “It took me two years to start detransitioning and living as Grace again.”

She tried in vain to find a therapist who would treat her underlying issues, but they kept asking her: How do you want to be seen? Do you want to be nonbinary? Powell wanted to talk about her trauma, not her identity or her gender presentation. She ended up getting online therapy from a former employee of the Tavistock clinic in Britain. This therapist, a woman who has broken from the gender-affirming model, talked Grace through what she sees as her failure to launch and her efforts to reset. The therapist asked questions like: Who is Grace? What do you want from your life? For the first time, Powell felt someone was seeing and helping her as a person, not simply looking to slot her into an identity category.

Many detransitioners say they face ostracism and silencing because of the toxic politics around transgender issues.

“It is extraordinarily frustrating to feel that something I am is inherently political,” Powell told me. “I’ve been accused multiple times that I’m some right-winger who’s making a fake narrative to discredit transgender people, which is just crazy.”

While she believes there are people who benefit from transitioning, “I wish more people would understand that there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution,” she said. “I wish we could have that conversation.”

In a recent study in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, about 40 young detransitioners out of 78 surveyed said they had suffered from rapid onset gender dysphoria. Trans activists have fought hard to suppress any discussion of rapid onset gender dysphoria, despite evidence that the condition is real. In its guide for journalists, the activist organization GLAAD warns the media against using the term, as it is not “a formal condition or diagnosis.” Human Rights Campaign, another activist group, calls it “a right-wing theory.” A group of professional organizations put out a statement urging clinicians to eliminate the term from use.

Nobody knows how many young people desist after social, medical or surgical transitions. Trans activists often cite low regret rates for gender transition, along with low figures for detransition. But those studies, which often rely on self-reported cases to gender clinics, likely understate the actual numbers. None of the seven detransitioners I interviewed, for instance, even considered reporting back to the gender clinics that prescribed them medication they now consider to have been a mistake. Nor did they know any other detransitioners who had done so.

As Americans furiously debate the basis of transgender care, a number of advances in understanding have taken place in Europe, where the early Dutch studies that became the underpinning of gender-affirming care have been broadly questioned and criticized. Unlike some of the current population of gender dysphoric youth, the Dutch study participants had no serious psychological conditions. Those studies were riddled with methodological flaws and weaknesses. There was no evidence that any intervention was lifesaving. There was no long-term follow-up with any of the study’s 55 participants or the 15 who dropped out. A British effort to replicate the study said that it “identified no changes in psychological function” and that more studies were needed.

In countries like Sweden, Norway, France, the Netherlands and Britain — long considered exemplars of gender progress — medical professionals have recognized that early research on medical interventions for childhood gender dysphoria was either faulty or incomplete. Last month, the World Health Organization, in explaining why it is developing “a guideline on the health of trans and gender diverse people,” said it will cover only adults because “the evidence base for children and adolescents is limited and variable regarding the longer-term outcomes of gender-affirming care for children and adolescents.”

But in America, and Canada, the results of those widely criticized Dutch studies are falsely presented to the public as settled science.

Other countries have recently halted or limited the medical and surgical treatment of gender dysphoric youth, pending further study. Britain’s Tavistock clinic was ordered to be shut down next month, after a National Health Service-commissioned investigation found deficiencies in service and “a lack of consensus and open discussion about the nature of gender dysphoria and therefore about the appropriate clinical response.”

Meanwhile, the American medical establishment has hunkered down, stuck in an outdated model of gender affirmation. The American Academy of Pediatrics only recently agreed to conduct more research in response to yearslong efforts by dissenting experts, including Dr. Julia Mason, a self-described “bleeding-heart liberal.”

The larger threat to transgender people comes from Republicans who wish to deny them rights and protections. But the doctrinal rigidity of the progressive wing of the Democratic Party is disappointing, frustrating and counterproductive.

“I was always a liberal Democrat,” one woman whose son desisted after social transition and hormone therapy told me. “Now I feel politically homeless.”

She noted that the Biden administration has “unequivocally” supported gender-affirming care for minors, in cases in which it deems it “medically appropriate and necessary.” Rachel Levine, the assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, told NPR in 2022 that “there is no argument among medical professionals — pediatricians, pediatric endocrinologists, adolescent medicine physicians, adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists, et cetera — about the value and the importance of gender-affirming care.”

Of course, politics should not influence medical practice, whether the issue is birth control, abortion or gender medicine. But unfortunately, politics has gotten in the way of progress. Last year The Economist published a thorough investigation into America’s approach to gender medicine. Zanny Minton Beddoes, the editor, put the issue into political context. “If you look internationally at countries in Europe, the U.K. included, their medical establishments are much more concerned,” Beddoes told Vanity Fair. “But here — in part because this has become wrapped up in the culture wars where you have, you know, crazy extremes from the Republican right — if you want to be an upstanding liberal, you feel like you can’t say anything.”

Some people are trying to open up that dialogue, or at least provide outlets for kids and families to seek a more therapeutic approach to gender dysphoria.

Paul Garcia-Ryan is a psychotherapist in New York who cares for kids and families seeking holistic, exploratory care for gender dysphoria. He is also a detransitioner who from ages 15 to 30 fully believed he was a woman.

Garcia-Ryan is gay, but as a boy, he said, “it was much less threatening to my psyche to think that I was a straight girl born into the wrong body — that I had a medical condition that could be tended to.” When he visited a clinic at 15, the clinician immediately affirmed he was female, and rather than explore the reasons for his mental distress, simply confirmed Garcia-Ryan’s belief that he was not meant to be a man.

Once in college, he began medically transitioning and eventually had surgery on his genitals. Severe medical complications from both the surgery and hormone medication led him to reconsider what he had done, and to detransition. He also reconsidered the basis of gender affirmation, which, as a licensed clinical social worker at a gender clinic, he had been trained in and provided to clients.

“You’re made to believe these slogans,” he said. “Evidence-based, lifesaving care, safe and effective, medically necessary, the science is settled — and none of that is evidence based.”

Garcia-Ryan, 32, is now the board president of Therapy First, an organization that supports therapists who do not agree with the gender affirmation model. He thinks transition can help some people manage the symptoms of gender dysphoria but no longer believes anyone under 25 should socially, medically or surgically transition without exploratory psychotherapy first.

“When a professional affirms a gender identity for a younger person, what they are doing is implementing a psychological intervention that narrows a person’s sense of self and closes off their options for considering what’s possible for them,” Garcia-Ryan told me.

Instead of promoting unproven treatments for children, which surveys show many Americans are uncomfortable with, transgender activists would be more effective if they focused on a shared agenda. Most Americans across the political spectrum can agree on the need for legal protections for transgender adults. They would also probably support additional research on the needs of young people reporting gender dysphoria so that kids could get the best treatment possible.

A shift in this direction would model tolerance and acceptance. It would prioritize compassion over demonization. It would require rising above culture-war politics and returning to reason. It would be the most humane path forward. And it would be the right thing to do.

*~*~*~*~*~*

For those who want tor ead more by those fighting the cancellation forquestioning, read:

Graham Lineham, who's been fighting since the beginning and paid the price, but is not seeing things turn around.

The Glinner Update, Grahan Linehan's Substack.

Kellie-Jay Keen @ThePosieParker, who's been physically attacked for organizing events for women demanding women-only spaces.

REDUXX, Feminst news & opinion.

Gays Against Groomers @againstgrmrs, A nonprofit of gay people and others within the community against the sexualization, indoctrination and medicalization of children under the guise of "LGBTQIA+"

#detransitioners #detransition #gender critical #New York Times #gays #lesbians #trans #trans insanity #long post #article #detrans #transgender #post trans #desisted

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letorip · 2 months

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i heard your name

"i heard your name and i'll never be the same”

===+++===

pairing: cairo sweet x reader

summary: after a life of fleeting things, you come to tennessee, and find someone you don’t want to be “fleeting” anymore, though she may come with ulterior motives

warnings: rivalry, references to sex, hints at student-teacher relationships, reader is being used (duh)

word count: 4.8k

A/N: i really really hate the concept of miller's girl as a whole, but i can't deny that cairo sweet is a captivating character psychologically, and that jenna does an absolutely amazing job. inspired by lolita, pale fire by vladimir nabokov, and the movie hot summer nights.

===+++===

You became aware of Cairo Sweet on a hot, sunny school day, one that almost seemed to mock your lack of enthusiasm for the new school in its beauty and the light breeze.

The high school was an ugly building, one that sat in limbo between southern charm and the studious American educational experience seen in the likes of pretentious New England. The decorator had clearly not known which one to pick, but no amount of fancy classrooms or bookshelves and Turkish rugs would make you forget you were in Tennessee of all places.

It would be just as unmemorable and brief as the last, and that’s exactly what you reminded yourself while you waited dreadfully early in the front office, in an uncomfortable yellow plastic chair that had one leg much shorter than the others.

The receptionist lady seemed nice enough, smiling at you all bright and wrinkly like old people did. “So sorry about the wait, dearie. Any minute now, she’ll be—”

“It’s no problem,” you shrugged. “I’m not really in a rush.”

The woman nodded, her eyes melting into little crows feet at the ends. There was a theory you had heard once, that the more wrinkles someone had, the more they had smiled in their life. It didn’t fit many of the crotchety old people you had met, who seemed to have frowns permanently stitched onto their leathery faces, but it definitely fit her. She glowed like a beacon, or twinkled like a chandelier of happiness.

“Are you excited about coming here?" She asked. "Starting the new semester has to be exciting!” The entire time the older woman kept sheepishly glancing over at the door, waiting someone to come in. Whoever was supposed to be guiding your tour was clearly very late.

You had long given up on hoping your mom would pick a spot and stay there. In two more months maybe, she would announce she 'wanted a change' again, and you wouldn't give this place a second thought when you left, just as you hadn't given the last places a second thought either. But you couldn't just say no.

You smiled back at her. "Yeah, kinda. This seems like a good school."

"Oh it's just splendid!" She assured you. "The kids love it here, it's just-" Before she could finish, the office door swung open, and a girl in crazy clothing bustled in, dropping her bag on the floor in the middle of the room and spinning to the receptionist.

“I’m so, so sorry!” She said, visibly dishevelled (though maybe that was just her nonsense outfit) and maybe sweating a bit. “I completely forgot I was supposed to do this!” She laughed. She seemed like one of those girls that were always drunk— not in a sad, alcoholic way, but like they were drunk on life (and maybe alcohol too).

“It’s alright, Winnie. They haven’t been waiting long.” Winnie spun around, noticing you where you sat, leaning your head back against the wall.

“Hi there, I’m Winnie,” she said, holding out her hand with a smile. You stood up and shook it in your own, smiling back. This would all be fleeting anyhow.

“Hi, yeah I heard. (Y/n)."

Winnie tilted her head, giving you a devilish smirk. She was absurdly energetic for it being so early. "Boy, aren’t you cute.”

“And aren’t you really forward,” you laughed.

She shrugged. “I think it’s more fun that way. You got a nickname?"

"Eh," you shrugged. You did, from your mom, but it wasn't worth mentioning when you wouldn't be here that long. "Not really."

"Nooo, you definitely should have one," she said, and you raised your eyebrows at her.

"I'm really good, I think," you said, grinning. "Not the most nickname—able name out there."

"Fine," she shrugged. "Suit yourself I guess. Now c’mon,” said Winnie, sticking her hand out to you. There was a certain glint in her eyes then. “I’m gonna show you every little place in this shitty little school.”

"Winnie, language!" The receptionist scolded her.

"Sorry," she winced.

Winnie dragged you around the halls like that, hand in hand and pointing into classrooms; she waved to the people that she passed. It was decent sized school, with a big cafeteria and gym, but not much else unique to boast except for the few sports fields outside. Your last school didn't have that, but it had been northern Alaska, so it made sense. It was probably hard, what with the snow.

“Boris!” Winnie waved over at a man in a track suit, with a whistle around his neck that all gym teachers seemed to wear. He rolled his eyes, waving back at her. "That's Coach Fillmore," she explained.

“What’ve I told you about that, Winnie?” He asked.

Winnie slipped her red-heart sunglasses over her eyes, flashing him a smile. “Still your favourite though, right?”

“Yeah yeah.” And he turned his attention back to the football field, coffee in hand. Winnie spun back to you, with an almost infectious aura.

"So, why'd you move?" she asked, grabbing your hand again and tugging you back inside. The metal door slammed shut behind you with a loud thud.

"Witness Protection Program," you shrugged as she pulled you around the corner. “On the run from the cartel." She looked at you like you were crazy for a moment, eyes all wide, then you laughed and ruined it. "I'm kidding. Not actually."

"OOooooO, I like you. Cute and unserious. I thought you were going to be all square, but it turns out you can joke," said Winnie, shaking her head at you. "What's your locker number, again?"

You handed her the paper. "She wrote it on here."

Winnie took it from your hand, holding it up to the fluorescent lights and examining it like a slide under a microscope. "Ah, damn. You're on the opposite side of the school from me. Like literally, the exact opposite side. That's good though, right? Your first block is Calc?"

"Uh, no. It's uh..." you stopped, leaning against a wall and sliding your backpack off. You pulled your schedule from the top pocket. "Creative Writing, with Mr. Miller."

Winnie's eyes lit up, and she punched you on the arm. "No, fucking way?! That's my first block too!"

You shrugged. "I'd honestly rather do that than calculus right now, so."

Winnie laughed. "Yeah, you and any normal person." She stopped for a minute. "Are you okay if I go off and get some breakfast before class? Winnie hungee," she said, rubbing her stomach. "I also kind of ditched my friend, and I told her I'd find her."

You nodded. "Go ahead. I'm just gonna find my locker."

"Okay!" She said, giving you a small salute. "See you in class."

===+++===

You found your way well enough, and after fumbling with the big metal lock and struggling to put the code in, could actually open your yellow locker and throw the heavy bag you had been carrying inside.

You could see other kids walking up and opening theirs around you. Their doors had metal magnets and small whiteboards, stickers and posters. You hadn't brought stuff to decorate your locker in four years. Instead, your backpack had everything you carried in it, ready to go at the drop of a hat.

The creative writing classroom was down a hallway that split off near the gym, and luckily seemed less ugly than the rest of the school. The room smelled of pine and paper, which was probably a good sign, and bookshelves and glass jars littered the walls with a bunch of other random things setting the scenery for the big chalkboard and wooden desk in the middle.

Most of the other students were already there when you arrived through the double doors, including Winnie. She stood at one of the front desks talking to someone. When she saw you, she waved, eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree even from afar. In her past life, this girl would have been a golden retriever. You waved back then turned away, heading to one of the back desks that put you firmly away from the teacher's line of sight.

Mr. Miller seemed like an alright guy, or just enough of one. He didn't do any cheesy introductions of people, or make you do one of those stupid icebreakers that made you want to die, no— he was straight to the point, with just a splash of drama.

"Hello everyone! This semester my main goal is to make you write. And I mean really write." He paused for dramatic effect, as if he thought it was Dead Poet's Society. "This is not like your other English classes, where you put minimal effort into a 'meh' essay and turn it in, and you're happy with a B. No, I want you to feel something."

After that, you couldn't help but tune him out. He wasn't bad, no. But he was just boring and unremarkable, and anything a high school writing teacher from Tennessee would be, in the way he stuttered or played with the lid of his plastic coffee cup.

He spent most of the class prattling off the syllabus and giving out the first assignment, due in a couple of days. You weren't especially interested in writing as a whole, and even less interested in the prompt of 'write about you,' but you shoved the paper into your backpack and figured you'd give it a shot.

"Mr. Miller?" asked a voice from the front.

"Yes, Cairo?” Mr. Miller said, and you raised your head up, looking to where he was speaking. The hand belonged to a girl with dark hair, and you immediately recognised her as the one Winnie had been talking to before class. She was clearly very smart, with a small stack of books on her desk in front of her.

“Are we talking about ourselves literally, as in our achievements, or as in our emotions and how we feel?” she asked. Cairo looked pretty when she talked, though you dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. This was fleeting. It was important to remember that.

“It’s up to you, actually,” he replied, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning back against his desk. “Whatever really lets me know you.” Boy, how cliche.

When class ended, Winnie bounded over to you with a smile, her school bag tucked under her arm like it had been earlier. “Sooo, how was your first class?”

“It was pretty good, no complaints,” you said, fumbling with your folder and shoving it back into your bag.

“So, listen, do you want to sit with me at lunch? Me and Cairo sit together and you can totally join us if you want,” said Winnie, still as bubbly as ever. She gestured towards the door, and you could see the girl from earlier looking through the books on the bookshelf that stood next to it.

You shook your head. “Sorry, I got invited by a group to sit with them and I already said I would.”

Winnie frowned, pouting cartoonishly with her lower lip drooping. “No worries. If ever again though, me and Cairo would be happy to have you."

You gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Maybe tomorrow."

You ate lunch that day leaning against a concrete wall underneath the football bleachers, with no one else around, a thick paperback in your one hand and a sandwich in the other, headphones over your ears.

===+++===

"Thank you all so much for your submissions," Mr. Miller said, a stack of essays sitting under his arms as he passed them back to the class. The weather of that Friday was much more relaxed, with a smattering of clouds covering up the sun, the way you liked it.

The past three days had been just as uneventful as the last, and you went home each night only to wake up the next morning and stay equally as unenthusiastic, and attempt to bury your face into the fabric of your pillow for another five minutes.

He cleared his throat. "I've decided to do something fun, and kind of crown a 'winner' for the week, if you will." He shrugged. "It's just someone I really was impressed with, and want to recognise so, uh, we'll do this after every writing piece."

From behind the class with your head propped up on your palm, you saw Cairo tensing at his words. It had become clear even through disinterested observation that she cared way more about the class than literally anyone else— maybe even Mr. Miller. She raised her hand first, offered feedback on anyone made to read aloud, and always stayed after. She was probably itching for the recognition and you figured she deserved it too.

Which was why it shocked the hell out of you when Mr. Miller walked right up to his desk, put his hands in his pockets, cleared his throat like he thought it was a drum-roll moment, and announced, "this week I was incredibly impressed with (Y/n)'s writing."

There was no way. You froze, not entirely sure he was talking to you. Maybe he had just mispronounced someone else's name indistinguishably close to yours. Cairo's head whipped around, face equally as in shock. There was no way. Winnie was smiling at you, other kids were staring, and you wanted to die.

"Uh...thanks."

From the other side of the room, Winnie whooped for you, clapping a little, in an awkward way. Someone else let out a cough. Mr. Miller shook his head, and said, "No, thank you. Your writing was really impressive. It made me feel, in a way that was refreshing from some other things I've read."

Cairo whipped back around to gape at him for a moment and then back to you. Then, back to Mr. Miller as he continued. "I don't have much in terms of prizes, but there is a bowl of candy over there, and you can take one if you'd like."

You nodded, standing up and making your way over to the clear bowl. Why the hell not. Writing had never been something you thought you were fantastic at— you had never shared it with anyone since there had been no one to share it with. Your fingers went in, and out you pulled a grape lollipop, retreating back to your seat and popping it in your mouth.

From the front, you felt Cairo glancing at you from over her shoulder, but tried to ignore the raising hairs on the back of your neck with her focus on you. “Okay,” said Mr. Miller. “Turn to your textbooks.”

===+++===

The grape lollipop was still in your mouth at lunchtime, leaning against the concrete wall and feeling the hot Tennessee breeze ruffle against your soft shirt, moving it gently against your skin. It was quiet out, and you had your headphones over one ear, leaving the other one to listen to the trees and the wind.

That's how you heard the footsteps from around the corner, even through your music. You looked up from where your eyes had been tracing the cracks of the concrete and watching the ants walk by into their nearby hill, and there she was.

Cairo Sweet had found you.

She stood a bit down the way, on the path, with her arms crossed right over her chest. Her eyes were just as dark as before, and they bore into yours with a strange carnal desire. It sent a shiver down your spine.

"Uh, hi?" you managed. She didn’t even acknowledge it.

"So, how long are you going to keep lying to Winnie for?" Cairo asked, her voice as smooth as butter on your ears. It was a question that caught you completely off guard in its sincerity.

"Uh— I'm not— I haven't been lying," you stammered. Cairo wasn't convinced; her eyebrows lifted a little, creasing her forehead in disbelief. She took a step, one agonisingly after the other, closing the distance between you two until she stood directly beneath you, staring up through her lashes in a near haunting way. Subconsciously you took a small step back.

"I have a question," she whispered, like it was right in your ears. You could feel your blood rushing to them quickly, and it felt as if everything was happening in an almost sinful daze, slow and burning.

"Yeah?" you murmured back, fighting against the lollipop to speak. It made it harder to swallow.

"Can you smell my perfume?" Cairo asked, and your brain hung off every word that spilled from her lips.

"Yes," You clumsily nodded, eyes shooting down to her perfect mouth as it moved, then up to the freckled apples of her cheeks. You knew you were breathing loudly. "It's lavender, and—"

"—Good," she praised, barely audible in her sickly soft whisper. You nodded again, head feeling heavy. God, this girl. "Good," Cairo said again. You didn't know what to say.

"I want to read your essay," she continued, scanning the bleachers for a moment and then eyes shifting back to you in full force. She had you right where she wanted you. Under her thumb.

"Uhhhh, why?" you trailed off, confused as all hell and letting out an awkward laugh to cover.

"It's good, isn't it?" She asked, challenging you with her stare and a smirk, as if to say she knew exactly what she was doing to you chemically. "I haven't found many I want to read."

"Essays?" You mumbled.

"Good ones," she corrected you, whispering it slowly. Your gaze lowered to her lips again, her lower one caught between her teeth. Her own eyes flew to the lollipop, the stick hanging between you both.

Your breathing hitched when her hand came up, lightly grabbing the end and oh so gently pulling it from your mouth, some of your saliva carrying with it. She twirled it, never breaking eye contact with you as she placed the purple crystalline sugar on her tongue, closing her mouth around it for a moment. Cairo smiled, then pulled it from her lips and placed it back in yours.

You blinked slowly, unsure of what this was but finding it all too addicting to know how to stop it. At the sound of voices in the distance, the spell was broken, and Cairo looked back over her shoulder. You cleared your throat, realising the situation you were in.

"What're you trying to do?" You asked. It wasn't a gentle question, but it wasn't a harsh one either. Part of you wanted her to whisper back something cheesy and romantic. Or maybe you wanted something salacious to come from her all-too-plush lips, and the moment to end with hers on yours.

But instead she just blinked at you. It was like the question had taken her power away; she faltered completely. She frowned, almost frustrated by you asking, and she didn't have an answer. "Just let me know about the essay? I'd really like to read it."

Before you could reply, she turned around and walked away, as if going back to a drawing board far off in the distance. You watched her go, turning the lollipop over in your mouth.

===+++===

I should like to think that when I am older, the places I have been will make me cry. They will not meld together, in one long train; I will not move from car to car, blazing past what it may contain and never stopping to look out the window.

I will slide into a booth or take out a folding chair if I must, and watch the world go by. I will sit atop the mountains or amongst the grains of sand on a beach, and watch my eyes begin to water in the light of the setting sun.

Your eyes scanned over the essay in your hands, flipping through it and looking at all of Mr. Miller's notes. There were only four, and two of them were 'Wow!'. Even knowing he was impressed, you were at a loss for how this could be considered impressive. It was just words on a paper. Not difficult to write them, or copy them down. You were just talking, but on a page.

My mother seems to think I can’t hear her crying through the walls at night, wishing she were different. Her tears keep me up, and I trip and drown in the puddles of her despair, falling through the surface and into the depths hidden beneath, whenever I leave my room. I love her, and she always manages to convince herself I do not. She loves me, I always must convince myself she does.

It was this paragraph that made you hesitate, standing behind your locker door and rereading it over and over in your mind. There was no way you could show this to someone- and especially not Cairo.

And right there, like Cairo was conjured up by your mind, she was walking right past you, bag over her shoulder and book under her arm. You looked at her pass, the voice in the back of your mind whispering the word fleeting into your ear. It had been a week since your uncomfortable conversation (if you could even call it that) from underneath the bleachers, and she was acting weird.

She was almost avoiding you, and it was rather noticeable. Not to anyone else, who were unaware you knew each other existed, but to you, you knew. When Winnie said good morning and Cairo happened to be there, she would glance away, fully aware of you staring at her like a big idiot.

You found your way into the classroom, and Mr. Miller was writing something on the board in big white letters. It said 'MEANING,' and 'SYMBOL' in a smaller script underneath. He turned back when he was done, smiling over at Cairo and stuffing his hands into his pockets.

She always was the class favourite, and it made sense. Even if your writing was enchantingly fantastic, or some other amazing bullshit word Mr. Miller would write in blue pen that made you doubt he could actually read, Cairo was the one who actually tried. "I want everyone," he said, clearing his throat with a grunt, "to find a partner and sit down with them. This is going to be a partner activity."

You froze. Shit. These things sucked when you were the new kid who knew no one. You glanced over at Winnie, hopeful you'd find a partner in her, but she was madly gesturing towards Cairo to get her attention, and it made you smile a bit at the look on her face— until you saw who Cairo was staring at. You. Your smile went away in an instant.

Her brown eyes were staring at you again, sharp and intense. Then she picked up her bag, tucked the books she brought with her under her arm, and made due on her plan to pick you. You sent your glance away, as if to pretend you couldn't tell she was coming for you. And yet when her books landed on the table with a soft thud, you couldn't ignore her anymore.

"Care to partner up?" She asked, pulling the chair back to sit down before you could even answer. From the other side of the room, you could see Winnie staring at you, looking confused as all hell.

"Uh, sure," you managed. Was she just going to pretend you two hadn't shared whatever that was? It seemed to be the case, and it seemed she knew you were uncomfortable. Cairo Sweet almost seemed to relish in doing that to people.

"So, how'd you enjoy your first week here?" She asked, pulling out a notebook and flipping to a fresh page. She leaned forward, crossing one leg over her other.

You shrugged carefully. "It was good. Boring, but good."

Cairo nodded. "This is a really boring town, so that makes sense."

"Yeah..." you trailed off. She made putting sentences together incredibly hard for you.

Mr. Miller's assignment was boring beyond belief, but Cairo sat up straight the entire time he gave out directions, eyebrows lowering a bit or head tilting after every clarification, like she was making a mental reminder to remember that later. You attempted to ignore her, looking over to the bookshelf on your other side out of boredom.

They were all leather bound, in alternating shades of brown and green, and some hardcovers in sheathes intermixed. Finnegan's Wake and Scienza Nuova, Being and Time and Infinite Jest, you recognised and had read them all. Day-long car rides would do that to you, and it was within reading you found a particular solace from your mom screaming along to the radio.

"(Y/n), are you listening?" Cairo whispered over at you, pulling your gaze back towards her. You nodded, even though you weren't. Her leaning in seemed to fill your nose with her smell. It was lavender, and it was overpowering.

She raised her eyebrows at you like she knew you were lying again. "Really? What're we doing, then?"

You blinked. Shit. "Uh...I don't know, sorry," you apologised, feeling somewhat sheepish. Cairo gave you a judging look, and you were starting to feel like maybe she was regretting choosing you as her partner. She sighed.

"It's fine. Do you want to maybe come over on Friday? We can work on the paper," she said, playing with her pencil. You frowned.

"I thought Winnie said there was a party on Friday."

Now Cairo looked confused. "Are you going to that?"

"I thought you were?" You questioned, trailing off. She laughed at that, like it was a funny suggestion.

"No, it's not really my scene. Winnie's the partier," she grinned. "A party animal, even."

You nodded, feeling yourself relax a little bit. "That makes sense. You're probably writing or reading instead or something."

She seemed intrigued. "Is that what you think of me? A nerd?"

"Uh..." there was a certain heat flowing towards your cheeks, and it felt like the room was a million degrees. "A little, yeah."

"Wooow!—" Her voice rose in a mocking offence.

"—No, I don't— That's not!— I—"

"You think I'm a geek."

"Yeah, only because you're always reading and stuff, so," you argued, raising your hands up. She laughed.

"So if you read, that makes you a nerd?"

"That's obviously not what I'm saying, but the normal kids just go home and watch a show or something," you shrugged. A beat of silence passed between you, and you groaned, realising your mistake and dragging your hands down your face.

"'Normal', huh?" She asked. You sent her a glare, only to find her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she smiled at you, taking great fun in making you red. Then, within an instant, as if it had been flipped like a switch, the weightless look in her eyes shifted to something far darker.

"You know," she said, and you found your heart catching in your throat. "I don't only read in my free time. I find other things to do." She was back at a whisper, leaning in towards your ear. Each enunciation reverberated in your ear drums and filled your brain with sinful ideation.

"I actually like to do things over and over. Creature of habit, really," she continued and your eyebrows rose. The classroom felt even more humid than it had before, and some sweat was already forming on your forehead. Mr. Miller stood behind his desk, and you felt hyperaware of how he kept glancing towards the both of you, his arms crossed and a deep frown on his face at the almost voyeuristic display.

The bell rang, and just as if nothing had happened, Cairo stood up, gathered her things, and walked off like she had under the bleachers.

"Wait-" You were left frozen there, watching her go out the door and down the hall. It took another ten seconds of sitting there for the spell she had cast on you again to be broken, but when it did, you shot up.

Clumsily you threw your notebook into your backpack, slinging it over your shoulder and taking off as quickly as you could. You wouldn't let Cairo flee.

She was near her locker, where you found her a few halls down. From over her shoulder, Winnie saw you coming, and sent you a friendly wave. Cairo followed her eyes, turning towards you and eyes widening. She was clearly surprised, crossing her arms over her chest as you walked right up to her and stopped.

"I have a question," you said.

"Ask away," said Cairo.

You nodded, thinking for a moment. "Why'd you pick me as your partner in this?"

She scoffed at this, uncrossing her arms and rolling her eyes like you were missing something obvious. It hadn't mattered how loud the passing crowd around you was. You heard her loud and clear, and it filled you with a sense of warmth that you hadn't felt since "fleeting" was just another word in the dictionary and not a mantra.

"Because, I think you're special," she said, only to you in the crowd of passing kids. You couldn't see Mr. Miller watching you both intently from the far wall, one arm crossed over the other.

===+++===

okay so this may or may not be a series i'm starting, but i at least know there is a part two that's already halfway done. part of what took me so long and why i've been gone for like a month has just been me agonising over every damn word. so. enjoy this bad boy ig? not that much happens in this part, but i promise the next part will be kind of crazy.

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #cairo sweet x reader #cairo sweet #miller's girl

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alienwithaguitar · 2 months

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Shelby said a lot during her stream, teetering from honorable to downright strange, and I want to address some of the issues. Before I say anything, I am still supportive of Shelby’s story, but this stream revealed a lot to me. I especially push Shelby supporters to read this, as this stream pushed MANY people I know to a neutral stance.

Shelby claimed having a depressive disorder just involved "feeling depressed", which is a harmful misconception that minimizes our struggles. Depression is more than feeling sad, and is categorized as being "different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life." It can involve constant hopelessness, angry outbursts, loss of motivation in most activities, and can lead to fluctuating weights, suicidal ideations, and self-sabotaging. To say "we all feel a little depressed sometimes" is to dismiss the lifelong struggles people with depression go through.

Shelby also implies that people with mental illness cannot change, and that recovery is not possible if your depression has hurt others. Not only is that an incredibly harmful idea to spread, it's blatantly incorrect. Just as habits and thoughts are trained throughout your life, they can also be untrained. There is genuine psychological basis in this, and to say that recovery is impossible is scientifically false. Personalities shift our entire lives, and changes in our physical and mental environments help us train new habits. This is part of the reason we try forming better schedules in new environments, and why a consistently stressful environment can bloom negative habits.

People don't chose to have mental illness, and if you're never taught to handle it, it can be extremely easy to hurt others. The most powerful tool to recovery is believing you can be better, and Shelby telling people to not even try is just enabling self-destructive people to hurt others for the rest of their lives. Change is a long process, but it's absolutely possible- Something as simple as a disruption in your life, a wake up call, and a drive to be a better person are the first steps to kickstarting change.

Shelby’s claims are very strange considering the rest of the stream. Earlier, she went on a rant about content creator’s influence on teenagers. She acknowledged teenagers are impressionable, and that it’s important to take care of those looking up to you. She recognized her fanbase was mainly teenagers, many of whom struggle from mental illness. It feels backwards to emphasize being a good role model before telling thousands of kids that their mental illness makes them a bad person. Her statement was about treating people with kindness no matter what, but she couldn’t keep that energy for people with depression.

Shelby herself was able to find help in therapy, so to deny that others should seek help feels selfish. She also confirmed on stream that she's seen the informative resources people sent her, and that she has ignored them. I can excuse the stereotyping if she's willing to be educated, but she's made it clear she believes she’s right. This is one thing I cannot defend, and I can't forgive her for slandering myself and thousands of struggling teens’ progress to their faces.

One final thing Shelby mentioned was that we should wait for evidence, and it's alright to feel doubtful. I want to revisit her statement with the current evidence we have, that I will take with a grain of salt by her own request. With the proof we have, nothing that Shelby claims comes across as abusive outside of the biting.

Shelby said she would get locked in his house at times. UK houses need a key to unlock the inside, and Wilbur likely only had one. While at his house, Shelby had access to her phone, and there were ways she could communicate with him or call for help if this was a problem. We have no evidence to claim that he trapped her. Shelby also stated her family never met Wilbur, because she had to travel to meet him. It wouldn't be unreasonable to stay in his house for an extended amount of time, and that was entirely her choice. She certainly might have felt neglected, but to claim that it was entrapment is baseless.

Wilbur was also busy with tours, absent nearly 200 days of the year. Feeling lonely makes sense, but raising that as abusive and holding it against him is ridiculous. As a famous musician, Wilbur has obligations that he legally can't drop. This was something she needed to be aware of when pursuing a relationship with him. She's allowed to wish things were different, but genuinely expecting him to abandon his lifelong passion is more than a little strange. This doesn't detract from her feelings, but to hold his legal obligations over his head when she should’ve known he'd be busy is unreasonable.

Shelby has also made a point of publicly shaming his hygiene. The inability to care for yourself and your space is a common symptom of depression. It was kind of her to clean, but her words imply she thinks he's just lazy. She explicitly notes that Wilbur didn’t expect her to clean, but that he waited for her to clean. This is weird to specify, as people with depression typically don't make plans to clean for long periods of time. She likely just assumed his inaction was a sign for her to do it, rather than something he struggled with and had no plans to do anyway. I don't think she was right for shaming his depressive habits, and I don't think he was right for dismissing her help. However, the comments he made about her cleaning very strongly imply that he never had plans to clean either way. This just reads as a choice to help out, not expectation or pressure.

Based on the evidence we have now, the points Shelby made just come across as her dating a mentally ill man and not being prepared for the challenges that come with that. Her family never met him, and he was very busy, so there wasn’t much outside opinion she could get. It's reasonable for her to feel neglected, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was intentional harm. It's important for both parties to get help, to communicate what happened and talk about their feelings. Wilbur stated he was committed to talking with her and addressing her concerns, while Shelby blocked him and refused to communicate, despite telling him she wanted to remain friends. All she's done since is reject his apology (even though he made a statement, not an apology, for legal reasons) and ignore his requests to speak. This avoidance to communicate is likely why the lines of consent and expectation were blurred in their relationship, as they've both expressed an inability to communicate.

This was not written to discredit Shelby's experience, I do believe she has trauma. However, you can absolutely be traumatized by relationships that weren't necessarily abusive. I've experienced years of PTSD from completely fabricated nightmares, and have trauma from repeated hallucinations of my ex. She’s not lying about her feelings- But between the contradictions, refusing to talk with Wilbur about an apology, and the insistence to "communicate” despite the fact that she blocked him, I can't support Shelby's actions.

I will always fight to uplift victims, and I am sympathetic of her story, but I can't defend someone who makes no effort to communicate or educate herself before speaking. Until either of them presents something that is beyond "he said, she said" I will remain neutral. I think they both deserve a chance to change and talk about this privately, and I will be waiting for a better response in the mean time. There was clearly miscommunication, and this was brought to us prematurely (shown by her contradicting statements.) I urge you all to look at the evidence and hopefully come to a similar conclusion. You can feel for someone's experiences and sympathize with their mental state without endorsing them. Stay safe, be kind, and don't jump to any conclusions. 🤍

#wilbur #wilbursoot #wilbur soot #not a wilbur defense post #but its still important to consider #shelby #shubble #shelby shubble #wilbur support squad #shubble support squad #shelby support squad

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mahmoudshaqura · 16 days

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My brother Maisara Shaqoura is in the

prime of his life. He was born in 2003. He's stuck in one of the tent locations in the south of Gaza.

He was displaced there after the horrific events that he and the entirety of the people living in Gaza underwent. They have been denied the basic necessities of life. Everyone has a right to safe living and humane conditions no matter what race, ethnicity, or religion they belong to.

Maisara was unfortunate to be born with a problem in his heart. He has a whole in his heart that's 8 mm wide. He underwent open heart surgery previously and escaped death by the skin of his teeth. For him to remain alive he has to take his scheduled medications on time. Due to the lack of availability of the medicine or anything else from hospitals to equipment, he has started deteriorating. Given the fact that money is also scarce, it has become extremely difficult for him to stay alive. The cost of moving him out of there is weighing heavily on my shoulders. My name is Mahmoud Shaqoura and I'm his eldest brother. I live in Belgium. I can no longer afford to keep up with his care in these dire circumstances. I can't let him face all that's going on. I can't let him struggle with displacement, the inhumane living conditions, the lack of medical care, the scarcity of food and water, his medication not being avaliable, the cold, and that's to name a few. Skipping over the most obvious which is eminent death. All that combined with the emotional and psychological toll it's taking on him is truly destroying me.

Maisara lived with our that has passed away shortly before the events of the 7th of October. She was a cancer patient with very advanced cancer in her skull. She was also paralysed because of the disease. Maysara suffered so much even before this genocide, so take into consideration how compounded his pain must have gotten with everything that's going on now. The house my brother used to live in with our mum, our house in the North of Gaza, was bombed. We lost so many family members, ones that used to help Maysara. He is now alone facing all of this trying to stay alive. We can't completely fathom how people in Gaza are still standing. Now Imagine my little brother all on his own trying to survive, not knowing even when this all would end.

Maisara was in nursing school. He was in that major cause his dream was to help himself, his mum, and his entire homeland.

Maysara is getting worse by the minute. We have to act fast to save his life. His condition is worsening and he's asking for our help.

The money required for him to leave Gaza and go into Egypt is very high. That with the cost of him travelling for treatment in a specialised hospital is 30,000 euros.

I, Mahmoud, his brother, pledge this a debt that I will repay for someone else in need. when I have that money I will do it to help save a life.

Attached are his medical files depicting and describing his condition for you to take a loot at.

#free palestine #free gaza #rafah

209 notes · View notes

rveyjules · 9 months

Text

A Second Chance

Part 1, Part 2

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Prime Minister's Daughter! Reader (ft. Ada Wong)

Genre: Smut, Romance, Angst

Warning: cheating, Leon is obsessed with the reader, taking photos, the reader is cold but deep inside she’s a sweetheart, mentions of arranged marriage, pure smut (masturbation, foreplay, kissing, breasts fondling and sucking, markings, p in v intercourse, virgin sex, penetrative sex, Leon is huge [I think it's at least 9 inches, sheesh], creampie, aftercare)

Word count: 6.2k

Summary: As the eldest daughter of the Prime Minister and one of the faces of the family, you received multiple assassination attempts. So, your father hired someone to keep an eye on you. And to your surprise, out of all people, it was Leon Kennedy your father picked for you. You and Leon had a secret relationship but soon did not last because another woman came into his life. Now that the both of you meet again, will it be the start of chaos or a continuation of romance?

author's note: This is the second part of my story. This story is entirely fictional. I do not know what the President and the Prime Minister exactly do for the country. Same with the occupation of being a prosecutor and the chief of the CIA. English is not my mother tongue so pardon if you encounter mistakes and grammatical errors. This is only for entertainment purposes only. And minors, please do your homework first.

—

“The jury found the defendant guilty.”

Joyful sounds were heard from your client, who was the victim, and from her family. You closed your eyes and a sigh of relief escaped your mouth, smiling at your performance today. You just won another trial. The suspect is proven guilty with the evidence you have against him and the jury was on your side.

“The jury is thanked and excused. The court is adjourned.”

You turned to your female client. She’s a 22-year-old who was a victim of rape and sexual assault. You promised her that you will do your best to give her the justice she was longing for after being made fun of by her schoolmates, calling her such names, giving her judgemental looks, and earning a lot of hurtful words.

It has come to the point where she almost took her own life on the rooftop of the apartment she was staying at. Being a victim of rape is traumatizing. It would take time before you recovered completely from what happened by going under rehabilitation and psychological observation. But today, justice is served.

“Thank you so much, prosecutor!” Her mom shakes my hand repeatedly. You can’t count how many times her family expressed their gratitude for helping the child. You giggled and patted the mother’s shoulder. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you hired me as your lawyer. By the way, how was your rehabilitation?” You asked the last part, looking at your client. She has a smile on her face, brighter than the times we met before the trial and you just realized how pretty the child is.

“It’s all nice and okay. Prosecutor,” She took a few steps ahead towards you and held your hand. “I don’t know how to express my feelings in court. Our opponent came from a prestigious family in the town. I am afraid that we will not win because of how powerful their family is. I think I underestimated you a little and I’m sorry for that. I see how focused you were in every trial session. And now that it was confirmed that he was the bad guy, I felt so happy. So, thank you so much, Prosecutor L/n.”

You smiled at her and cupped her cheeks. “You’re a law student, right? I want to give you some advice that can help you when you become an attorney one day,” I paused. “I considered going into law. Not because of money, but for the thrill of problem-solving. And always remember, be an independent woman. You are what you are. Face them with your head high. Justice is served and the suspect is proven guilty.”

The girl nodded and gave you a tight hug. “I hope we will meet again in the future, attorney.” You nodded your head and hugged her back. “I’m looking forward to it, dear.”

From a distance, Leon watched how you comforted a girl after winning a nerve-wracking and intense trial in the court just now. He crossed his arms and smiled, seeing you being warm around your client. Leon received a voicemail from his earpiece,

“Agent Kennedy, the Prime Minister, scheduled a meeting with Prosecutor L/n.”

“Copy,” He replied before approaching you.

The mother of your client acknowledged his presence as Leon made his way toward you. The older woman smiled at him before looking back at you and asked something unexpected…

“Is he your husband? You two look great together.”

Your eyes widened and immediately denied it. “No, we’re not. He’s not my husband. I’m still single.” You awkwardly replied. Leon was taken aback by the woman’s question and quite affected when you quickly denied the woman’s question. He felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought of you being his wife.

“Sorry for misunderstanding but he’s only my bodyguard. He’s only with me for safety purposes.” You explain, smiling to ease the uncomfortable feeling you have. The woman nodded in understanding.

“You’re too pretty to not be in a relationship but I respect your decision if you’re not into relationships.” She smiled and you thanked her for understanding. When your client and her family have left, you turn to Leon and shoot him a death glare.

“Seriously? You as my husband? Hell, no.” You sharply claimed. Leon cleared his throat and replied, “I just want to say that the Prime Minister scheduled a meeting with you.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“When you received a voicemail, I received a text message from the Prime Minister. At least you should have waited for my client to leave before popping out of nowhere only to be misunderstood as my husband.” You snarled. Leon finds you cute, though.

“Bet you feel the butterflies in your stomach, don’t you?” He asked flirtatiously, making you scoff.

“Butterflies,” You scoffed and chuckled sarcastically. “I got headaches.” With that, you walked past him to the exit.

—

“Papa, you know I don’t want to be in a relationship. How many times do I need to tell you that? I don’t even want to go on a date, why are they trying to put me up in an arranged marriage?!” You snapped, rubbing your temples.

The meeting your father scheduled is private and personal. Right now, in front of your parents and the Senator’s son that was supposed to be your husband in this arranged marriage, looked at you in disbelief. You declared your plan in life and that is you’re not going to get married to anyone.

“Y/n!” Your father yelled angrily. “For our family’s sake! Senator Carter’s son is the right man for you! You know that this man has the potential to become a President in the future! I want you to become the First Lady of this country.”

“But being a First Lady has limitations, Papa! And also, it will only give me more responsibilities!” You retorted back.

“You’re already thirty-three, Y/n. A perfect age to prepare yourself—”

“I am not interested in becoming a First Lady,” You interrupted. "Besides, I am not into politicians. Helping the government is enough for me but marrying a politician? No."

With that, you grabbed your bag and walked out of the room, leaving your parents disappointed and frustrated. You can hear your dad calling out your name but you did not turn back. Tears filled your eyes, and you couldn't bear the fact that your parents are forcing you to marry someone you don't love.

Leon noticed your expression and he knew something was wrong. "Y/n, what happened in–" He was interrupted when you snapped at him, “Shut up! This is all your fault!”

He was startled and the guards that were securing the area looked in your direction. Tears started falling down your eyes, and couldn't bear the pain. “This is all your fault.” You whispered before storming out of the establishment.

You get the keys from your driver and ride the car before driving on your own. You sobbed as you sped up on the highway but were still aware of the speed limit. You want some time alone. Betrayals, family pressure, arranged marriage… Goddamned it, why can’t you be free from this? The trauma of your past relationship with Leon did a lot of damage. You run your hand on top of your head, calming yourself down.

—

In your house, you are checking the report of the CIA. There are files that must go under your consent so you have a lot of papers to sign. It’s not new for you anymore. Being a prosecutor, a superior of a top security agency, as well as being a politician’s daughter has its pros and cons. When it comes to wealth and fame, you got the jackpot. But when it comes to responsibility…

“Goddamn, I need a vacation.” You sighed as you signed the last file and put them organized on the shelf.

And then, Leon popped into your mind out of nowhere. He has been working under you for three months now. You are secretly doing everything to make him leave. You mean it when you say you don’t need him anymore. But there are times where Leon would be so caring of you. He’d hold your hand secretly when the two of you are close to each other in crowded places. He’d take off his jacket and put it on your shoulders when he saw you shivering. Although you are cold and dismissive to him, he’s still caring for you and his love language was still the same as before.

Turning your heel, you went to the window and watched the city lights of Washington D.C. You want to take a break. You want to sleep all day,knowing that you deserved it for doing a great job. But you simply can’t. Even falling asleep in your room is sometimes difficult, especially when you feel something is not right. The President needs you to be active 24/7. The White House could call you anytime when an emergency occurs. Even if it was two in the morning, you need to get up and meet the President and cabinet secretaries.

You are so powerful that’s why there are people who tried to kill you. Imagine, surviving five assassination attempts. You may be looking cool but deep inside you are scared. Those moments where you were stunned when the assassin pulled the trigger of his gun and you barely dodge them. It makes you feel like a child, being scared when you are supposed to be brave.

Taking off your gloves, you looked at your scars and caressed them. You thought the pain was gone, thinking that your scars symbolizes your bravery despite being left out. But everythings is coming back ever since Leon came back. With that you remembered how you struggled just to survive.

Three days after Leon left with Ada, you almost lost your sanity thinking that surviving the apocalypse is impossible. You have no one to lean on. You barely make it to find an abandoned store with foods and drinks that can ease your thirst and hunger. The city was filled with zombies. Finding a safe place to stay is difficult. The device you used to track Ada’s identity was broken. It was your only hope to contact your father.

Every day, you’d cry while washing your wounds on your wrists to prevent contamination and easier access for infection. Being alone and desperate to survive scared you the most. You are asking yourself what you ever did to them to leave you in this state. As for your relationship with Leon, thinking about those times when you caught him with Ada, doing the unthinkable emotionally damaged you.

“Leon– ahh!” Ada moaned as Leon pressed his half naked body to her, sucking her neck and leaving marks on her skin. “Y/n would get suspicious where did I get this,” Ada said but Leon didn’t budge.

Instead, he lifted the skirt of her dress and pulled her underwear out of her legs before undoing his pants and taking his member out of its cage. “Just be quiet. She wouldn’t know that we’re doing this.” He smirked before slipping his hardened cock into Ada’s aching hole.

They tried to be quiet to hide their secret affair while you were standing by the door, sobbing quietly. You heard how Ada moaned and praised Leon at how good he makes her feel. And then there was you, heart shattered into pieces. You felt numb and couldn’t feel or hear anything aside from the sinful sounds coming from them.

That piece of memory made you punch the mirror in front of you, breaking it. Your knuckles started to bleed. You covered your ears as you fell on your knees, traumatized and heartbroken. You knew that things would go wrong between you and Leon. But this is beyond your expectation. Never in your life you thought that he would do that.

One day, you found a radio in the establishment where you are currently staying. It was functioning and you heard voices coming from the radio. You realized that it can connect to a military base. You grabbed it and spoke to the speaker. It says that the government will bomb the city to stop the virus from spreading. Hearing this increased your fear. You don’t want to die with these monsters.

“Is this the military? Please, help me. I’m a survivor.” You said, hoping that they will hear your voice.

After a few seconds of silence, the voice on the other line spoke. “This is Commander Valdez speaking. Please, state your name and current location.” Your hope was growing as the commander replied.

“My name is Y/n L/n, daughter of Senator L/n. I’m a first year college student, studying Law. I am in a safe room of the high-rise hospital in Raccoon City. Please, help me. Zombies are surrounding the area.” You sobbed.

Hearing that you are the daughter of the Senate President caused the Commander to order to gather up his men and prepare to rescue you and also ordered the President to refrain from releasing an order to wipe out Raccoon City until you are completely rescued.

“Miss L/n, listen carefully to my instructions. My men will be there in less than an hour. Now, I want you to prepare yourself to fight against the horde of zombies. The President has moved the time of releasing the bomb. They will nuke the city after we rescue you. I know you have limited resources to use as your weapon but I hope you can find some to defend yourself.”

“Yes, sir.”

“The military is on its way. Go to the rooftop of the hospital. The military chopper will come to rescue you. Goodluck.” Then your conversation ended.

This is your last chance. You must make it out of this damned city. You went to the bathroom of the safe room and looked at yourself through the mirror. You washed your face to make up your mind and covered your injuries with a clean cloth. You wear your jacket and luckily found a baseball bat as your weapon. With a deep breath, you gathered all your strength and prepared yourself for a life-or-death fight against those monsters.

You walked out of the safe room quietly to prevent attracting the attention of the zombies. You held your weapon tightly, alert for any zombies to come to your way. You are currently on the 20th floor of the hospital. The rooftop is on the 25th floor. Of course, as you expected, zombies found you and chased after you. You run for your life, hitting those zombies who will try to grab you or block your path with a baseball bat.

Anger was rushing through your veins that you went on a killing spree with a single weapon. You looked out the window as you ran and found the helicopter coming to the hospital you are in. This increased your hopes in survival. Little by little, you made it to the rooftop. You closed and blocked the door with anything that you think can prevent those zombies opening the door.

The helicopter has found you from a far distance. You waved your hands in the air as you jumped to gain their attention. But the zombies managed to break in and it found you. You turned around and fear creeped out to your veins. A large horde of zombies are coming towards you. Then, you heard loud gunshots coming from the soldiers, shooting the zombies as the helicopter moved downwards on the edge of the rooftop.

“Miss Y/n! Hop on!” A soldier yelled through the loud sound of the propeller.

You ran towards them and jumped to the helicopter, feeling a little relieved to be rescued. The helicopter started to move away as the zombies were falling down from the building, mindlessly trying to reach for us. The soldiers check on you to see if you are bitten. The pilot spoke through the radio.

“General, Y/n L/n is successfully rescued from the Raccoon City. She’s not bitten or infected, just some injuries that need medical attention. Aside from that, everything is cleared.”

“Roger that,” You heard the military general replied through the radio.

After a few moments, when you are far enough from the city, you hear a loud, roaring, and huge explosion. You looked out and saw an atomic bomb explosion, destroying Raccoon City. You saw how wide the bomb reached to kill those who were alive or undead. You survived the chaos on your own. You make it out of the forsaken city. You are the last man standing. The city where Leon promised you that you build your dreams and goals has been wiped out into ashes.

A sigh escapes your mouth as you caress your scars. For everyone who barely knows you, wearing gloves is your trademark in fashion. People never see you take them off or go out without gloves on. But your family and other important people in your life know what’s behind that piece of clothing. It’s not like you were ashamed of it. It’s just that it hurts you emotionally as you remembered that you went under hard and difficult circumstances just to survive as those people you helped betrayed and left you to die.

Your phone opened and rang, snapping you back to your senses. You turned around and grabbed your phone. It’s a call from your older brother, Judge Dylan L/n. You picked up the call and put the phone next to your ear.

“Dylan? What can I do for you?” You asked.

“Y/n, Papa called me just now. What was that behavior?” He asked calmly but there’s a lingering strict tone.

“If you’ll scold me, I’ll hang up.” You scoffed.

“Y/n, you are the only daughter of the Prime Minister of the country and has the potential to become a First Lady.”

“I know that. Among the Prime Minister’s five children, I am the youngest and the only daughter. But that doesn’t mean that I need to go under his order to marry a politician.”

“But the boy is the son of the Senate President.”

“Dylan, please. Don’t make yourself a problem for me. He didn’t even congratulate me for winning my case today. He just called a private meeting only to say that I am bound to marry the man and ended up scolding.”

“Patience is a virtue, Y/n,” Dylan paused. “I know that your past relationship still affects you. But in this case, you are just proving to them that you haven’t moved on from your ex-lover. Y/n, it’s been fifteen years…”

You sighed, heading over the table to pour yourself a glass of wine.

“Please, believe me when I say that I truly moved on from my past relationship. It’s just that…” You paused, trying to find the right word to say. “The pain was coming back. You know that feeling when you believe in yourself that you are completely free but the truth is you are still chained up to the past?”

“Did you and that guy cross paths again?” He asked and you hummed.

“I don’t know if fate is fooling around with me. After fifteen years, why did he come back? I mean, I don’t want to see him or even cross paths again with him but then, one day he just appeared out of nowhere.” You explained. Your brother chuckled at your response.

“I think I know the guy you are talking about. Leon Kennedy, right? Your ex-lover but currently your bodyguard.” You pouted as his response. “If Papa knows that Leon Kennedy is your ex, what do you think he will do?” He asked.

“He will fire him immediately, probably.” You replied.

“Wrong,” Dylan quickly responded. “You and Papa never interact with each other that much, that's why you don’t know the possibility of his reaction regarding the issue.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Y/n, please. If you interact with Papa, you will find the answer. That’s all for now. I have to prepare for my trial tomorrow. I just called to check on you.”

You bid goodbye to each other before ending the call. You received another phone call from the Senate President’s son. You picked the call…

“Let’s have a drink. The usual place.” He said.

—

Leon can still hear how loud you were when you snapped at him earlier. He can tell that your meeting with your family did not end well. The way your eyes teared up when you yelled at him, gaining the attention of the people who were in the area at that time. Leon gulped down another glass of whiskey, slightly wincing at how strong the alcohol is as he ran his thumb against your photo, which he secretly took throughout the years.

Yes, he has been stalking you. After saving Ashley Graham from an insane cult in Spain, he immediately did some research on you. And there he found out about your success after leaving you in a hard situation in Raccoon City in 1998. At that time, you were a newly licensed prosecutor but you became one of the most influential prosecutors in the Supreme Court as you easily solved and won cases back then. Your father was a Senate President back then and having you beside him is a big asset. With that, your father managed to reach the position of Prime Minister.

Every event you need to attend whether it was a national or international, he was there. He camouflaged within the crowd so that you wouldn’t see him or feel his presence. He took a lot of pictures of you, keeping them in a secret room of his house. He was obsessed with you. He even finds himself masturbating in his room with your picture in his hand, looking so elegant in every angle, every outfit you wore, every look you pulled out, it drives him crazy.

For his latest mission, which was in China, he brought a dozen of your pictures as his motivation and inspiration. Weird but he did. There are times when he was in a tight situation and went through near-death experiences but he remembers that he needs to come back. For you. He encountered Ada again but this time, he was not her puppy anymore, who would follow her demands and manipulate him.

“I heard that she’s the new Chief of the CIA aside from being a prosecutor. Seems like your ex-lover has already moved on from you.” Ada smirked as she looked at the photo of you in a black dress, holding a piece of paper while speaking in court.

“Give it back,” Leon demanded. “What are you even doing here, Ada? Are you going to use me again?” He added and Ada chuckled in response. “What do you think?”

What Ada did not expect was Leon’s sudden attack. He disarmed her and took the photo out of her grasp, hissing when it was crumpled slightly. Ada noticed his unusual behavior and smirked.

“You’re obsessed with her. What is she going to think when you two meet again? What will be her reaction if she meets the one she loved the most but also the one who betrayed her?” Ada asked, trying to provoke Leon.

Leon got furious when Ada dug up the past. Without hesitation, he pulled out his gun and shot Ada in the shoulder with eyes full of anger and guilt, not for her but for you, who he left just to escape that damn city. The woman looked at him in shock. Never in a million years did she expect that Leon would do this to her. He was different from the one she used to order around. There were also times when Leon almost got down on his knees and worshiped her like a saint. But now, his eyes are filled with the flame of anger. Leon wasn’t hers anymore, but yours even without knowing it.

Five months after that mission, he was summoned to the White House by the President and they talked about the assassination attempts you had. His face remained calm but his hands were clenched into fists and his insides were burning in anger. When the President asked him if he could be your bodyguard, he immediately said yes. Your father, the Prime Minister trusted him the moment the President introduced him as a recommendation. That’s how he got into your life again.

He prepared a plan on how he was going to win your heart again. He thought it would be easy but it turns out it isn’t. You are colder than he expected. You never look at him the way you used to look at him before. It wasn’t easy to make a conversation with you as you always dismissed him. His top priority is to keep you safe away from assassination attempts you might encounter again in the future while finding a way to see a crack in your armor.

He believes that you will give in to him someday. He laid down on his bed, closing his eyes, and imagine how good it feels to be between your legs as he fucks you hard. The way you’d moan loudly or even scream, praising him for making you feel so good. You’d hold onto his shoulders as he pounds against your cunt, tip kissing your cervix that sends you crying.

His mind was filled with lewd images of you, wearing tight blouses and pencil skirts, teasing him as you walked. Your curves are perfectly fitted into the skirt and he will pounce on you and rip all of your clothing until you are completely naked under him. You and Leon never made it to take your relationship to the next level because you were just eighteen and in your first year in college back then. You two agreed that you’ll only do it when you are ready or wait until you get married. Although your relationship was a secret, you both gave pure love to each other until shit happens.

He believes that your virginity hasn’t been taken yet. For someone like you who focuses on studies and two professions as well as having trust issues, he’s sure that no one hasn’t touched or even kissed you. And the thought of taking your virginity sends him to the edge as he found himself masturbating.

“Y/n… you feel so damn good. So tight!” He moaned, imagining how tight you are when he pushed his pulsating cock inside your wet, aching, virgin pussy.

Your moans ring into his ears as he fucks you. The way you’d ask him to be gentle or be careful of you, sobbing. And the best part of it is when he spilled his warm seeds deep into your cunt. In real life, his cock spurted his juices, staining his hands and abdomen as he trembled from his orgasm, groaning as he let it out until the last drop.

No, he did not feel guilty. Why not? He’s going to take you back. Now that he heard from his co-worker that you are bound to marry the Senate President’s son. No, he wouldn’t let that happen. Not even over his dead body. If he needs to go through hell just to win your heart again, he will do it without any hesitation.

—

On the other side, you are back in the VIP Room of the bar where you usually go. You are currently with the Senate President’s son. There’s an awkward tension between the two of you. David Carter is sipping on his glass of vodka while you are drinking wine.

“Your outburst earlier is unexpected,” He chuckled, studying your expression. You glanced at him as he started the conversation. “A lot of women tried to catch my attention but then there was you.”

“Is that a compliment?” You asked, sipping on your wine and he nodded with a hum in response.

David might be quiet and did not have a chance to explain himself during your meeting yesterday but he is one of the most respected and most influential men in politics just like you. He’s a congressman with the potential to reach the highest rank in the country. That’s why your father wants him to be your husband.

“Yes. I rarely compliment a woman. You know I have a high standard when it comes to women and you passed.”

“Because this is me.” You rebutted, rolling your eyes, and smirked.

You two are good friends. You went to the same law school and passed the board exams together. When you were elected as the new Chief of the CIA, he was elected as a congressman. Coincidence? He would say no but you would say yes. David understands why you suddenly snapped at your father upon mentioning the arranged marriage. He knows that you have a trauma in love although he doesn’t know who caused you that pain to be so dismissive of love. But deep down, he wished that you would realize that he has hidden feelings towards you.

“I noticed that you are not with your personal bodyguard today. Leon Kennedy, right?” He asked, causing you to scoff and roll your eyes again.

“I don’t know. I don’t care though. That guy needs to breathe from my dark presence.” You joked.

“I’m surprised that he’s not resigning yet when you are so cold and dismissive to him. In my perspective, men who manage to stay despite your bad side are the ones who have true feelings for you.” You paused and glanced at him.

“I feel this agent knows you better than I know you. For the past three months of him being your bodyguard, I have never seen someone who's more patient than your father. I noticed that you throw your tantrums on him often but he will only look at you and give you your favorite coffee. Your former bodyguards never bring you your coffee without you telling them which one you prefer. But this agent, he will just pop out of nowhere with a cup of coffee you like. Is there something I don’t know about? Do you have connections with each other?” He added.

“Oh, David. Stop the spectacle of yourself. Agent Kennedy is nothing but only an agent who saved Ashley from Spain and is currently my bodyguard.” You retorted.

“But a bodyguard wouldn’t act so protective and caring of you. I mean, he’s crossing the line of being a bodyguard and you don’t notice. He’d protect you from the media, people who will tend to cause you discomfort, and bodyguards should keep an eye on his distance to his boss. But he will take off his jacket and put it on your shoulder like a man who cares for his lover.”

“Enough!” You snarled.

“You’re guilty because it’s true. A bodyguard shouldn’t look at his boss with stars in his eyes.” David added.

What's surprising about him, even though he has secret feelings towards you, it feels like he’s helping you regarding your issue with Leon which you never mentioned to anyone before.

“Admit it already, Y/n. You and Agent Kennedy had a thing before.”

You looked at him, speechless. David is a very observant person but he takes that to another level that's beyond your expectations. He raised his eyebrow at you while you shook your head in defeat.

“You’re right. We used to be lovers.” You admitted.

—

Leon was in his apartment across the apartment building you are in. He purchased the unit to keep an eye on you a few years ago. He knows that this is the place where you usually go to ease your mind rather than going to your own home. He brought his own telescope, not to look up in the sky but to stalk you. With his knowledge in hacking, he used to sneak into your apartment unit and set up small cameras that are difficult to see around your place to see what you are doing when you are out of his sight.

You just came back from your hang out with David. You are quite tipsy and tired after a long day. Leon watched you from his computer, your every movement is being captured by the hidden cameras he put around your apartment. You kicked off your heels and put them on the shoe rack before heading straight to your bedroom to have a nice and cool shower. Undressing yourself, Leon watched your naked figure step into the shower. The sound of water running as you hummed a song sent shivers down to his spine.

He watched how you touch yourself as you scrub yourself with soap and wash your hair with shampoos. The way the water ran down your body is something he can’t ignore, but craves. Those perfect large breasts, slim waist, and thick thighs, ugh. He badly wants to go there and fuck you already.

After thirty minutes of shower and skincare routine, you came out of your bathroom, wearing nothing but your robe and drying your hair with a towel. Leon continued watching you. He observed you as he realized that you were looking out the window, staring at the apartment building where he was currently in. He looked out too and there he found you standing, seemed to be in a deep thought. He studied your face and he believes that you’re unable to see him because his window is tinted.

But for you, you can definitely see him. Since Leon has become your bodyguard, you were even more observant of your surroundings. You've always had a feeling that someone is watching from the shadows and the moment you meet him again, your questions have been answered. Earlier, you and David had discussed this without mentioning Leon’s name.

“You know, obsessive people are usually more on body language, eye contacts, and sometimes, they use metaphorical words. They are waiting for the right time to have their way to their target. I suggest you give this man a little show. I believe you can do this easily. For a seductress like you, I think this is an easy task.” David smirks as he sips on his whiskey.

“What kind of ‘show’ are you talking about?” You asked.

“A strip show…”

You glared at him at the idea he suggested. “But be careful. Don’t let your bodyguard know about this show you are about to pull out or else you’ll receive a severe punishment from your daddy.” He chuckled.

He doesn’t know that the obsessive man you are talking about was no one but your bodyguard himself…

Sighing, you untie your robe and let it fall to the floor, revealing your perfect naked body. Leon gasped as his eyes widened in surprise about your sudden, unexpected move. You looked like a Greek Goddess that came down on Earth to seduce men and fulfill their lustful needs. You smirked before getting inside, slowly walking, naked. You grabbed your phone and played soothing, yet seductive music.

You started dancing and closed your eyes, feeling the rhythm and the melody of the music. Your hair dances in the air as you turn gracefully. Leon watches you, smiling to himself. Seeing you dance like that felt like nostalgia but way different from before. You changed from a sweet teenager into a seductress. Leon smirked, crossing his arms.

After a few minutes, you stopped dancing and went to your closet and wore a silk nightgown, gloves, and a coat. You put on your sandals, dried your hair, and put on a light shade of lipstick. You left your apartment, leaving him wondering what the hell just happened. You just gave him a little strip show, unsure if you did it on purpose or was that just some naughty habits he had never seen until now. While Leon heaves out an unsatisfied sigh, you went to the apartment building across yours to confront him already.

David is right. He crossed the line of being a bodyguard. Though he is affectionate to you when the two of you are together, you did not expect him to be this obsessive of you.

“...or just give in to his needs already if you find yourself attracted to the man. Confront him.”

You remember David gave you another advice earlier before going home. You also thought about this while taking a shower. You are aware that there’s a hidden camera around your house. Yet, you don’t feel creeped out at all as if you know who’s responsible for this. All the dots are connected and the mystery is solved the moment Leon came back and got hired as your bodyguard. The spark you felt towards this obsessive person sparked even more when it comes to Leon. It’s always him. Every question you make about this emotional stuff always leads back to him.

The ding of the elevator snapped you back to your senses as the doors opened. You stepped out of the elevator and went to Leon’s apartment unit, Unit 2704. You pressed the doorbell and waited for Leon to open the door.

He went to the front door and looked at the peephole. He was surprised to see you standing on his doorstep. He opened the door, you looked at him and he was surprised to see you.

“I need to talk to you,” You started in a stern tone.

—

To Be Continued...

672 notes · View notes

hairstevington · 5 months

Text

Teleplatonic

Summary: Robin starts hearing voices in Click's class. Well, it's one voice. A dude. Some douchebag jock who Robin's unrequited love has a thing for. Could high school be any worse? (5K words)

Warnings: Not much just Steve and Robin being platonic soulmates, mention of Steddie and Stommy backstory, Click's class and Scoops Ahoy era Stobin, the coming out scene (my beloved)

A/N: Many thanks to my discord ( @strangerthingswritersguild ) who encouraged me to take my silly idea and turn it into a cute lil fluffy one shot about the power of platonic loveeeee. Ao3 link here for those interested!

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At first, Robin thought she was going crazy.

Honestly, it wouldn’t have surprised her. She was already a closeted lesbian in the eighties, so she was doomed anyway. Might as well add schizophrenia to the list.

Click’s class was a mixed bag. On one hand, Tammy Thompson. On the other, Steve Harrington.

Ugh.

Robin had been in love with Tammy Thompson since the fifth grade, when they split a candy bar the day after Halloween. Robin wasn’t allowed to eat much candy growing up, thanks to her father being a dentist. Tammy extended an olive branch by means of chocolate nougat, and Robin had been smitten ever since.

This was their first class together in high school, and it was supposed to be amazing. Robin was going to work up the courage to really talk to Tammy and maybe even be her friend. Yeah, it might torture Robin even more, considering the crush that was clearly not going to go anywhere - Robin had watched Tammy date enough guys to know there was no chance, and even if there was, Robin was far too anxious to do anything about it.

But still.

The first day of Click’s class came, and it was perfect. Robin was paired up with Tammy to discuss an assignment, and they were getting along beautifully. Robin even made her laugh!

Robin was an idiot who got her hopes up, and those hopes were immediately dashed when Steve “The Hair” Harrington rolled into the classroom, late, and plopped himself down right in front of Robin.

Immediately, Tammy’s eyes were on him, and they stayed on him the rest of the year. It didn’t matter when he got bagel crumbs everywhere, or asked stupid questions, or laughed along when kids were being made fun of. None of that mattered, because Tammy didn’t care.

Robin hated Steve Harrington so much she never stopped thinking about him. She thought about how much she hated him, how much she wished he’d flunk out, and she even thought about ways she could sabotage him so he would flunk out.

But Robin was a good person, and she could never do something like that.

Anyway, thank goodness she was smart, because she barely paid attention in that class and still got an A. The problem was, she started hearing voices.

Well, no. She heard one voice, singular. A man, no less.

At first it was so soft, she figured someone was whispering behind her. She couldn’t even make out the words most of the time, so it didn’t matter. She’d look at Tammy, and she’d look at Steve, and everything else was a blur.

Over time, the voice got louder, and then Robin couldn’t ignore it anymore.

This class is such a snooze.

Honestly, it was. Robin would have been thinking the same thing, had she been paying attention. But then, the voice started saying things she didn’t agree with. Things she would never think.

Napoleon looks just like Aunt Margaret’s baby. Ha, that’s funny. I’m funny.

The voice continued, saying even stranger things. Usually very sexual things. Sometimes, downright offensive things. It was maddening.

Mrs. Buckley was a psychotherapist, so Robin grew up surrounded by literature about psychology and the human brain. She was aware of crazy people that heard voices, and she had no option other than to accept that she was on the road to becoming one of those people. It was just…it was weird though, because she only heard the voice at school. And it was always loudest in Click’s class.

The possibility that she was reading someone’s mind did occur to her, but that seemed impossible. It was impossible, so she had a hard time even letting herself think that. Yeah, Robin would have rather found herself crazy than let herself believe she was a superhero. Her mom would have had a field day unpacking that one with her.

Anyway, she finally put all the pieces together a few weeks in, after another particularly boring lecture in Click’s class.

I’m so lost.

Literally how? They were just reviewing information they’d already learned. She wondered if maybe this voice was a manifestation of her low self esteem or something. She wished she would have been able to tell her parents without worrying about being sent to the loony bin.

“Steve?” Mrs. Click called. “Can you name the four presidents depicted on Mount Rushmore?”

The voice continued.

Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. I’m screwed. Why is she asking me of all people? Do I look like I know the goddamn answer?

It was the first time the voice was responding. Robin’s head started reeling.

“Uhhhh -” Steve began. “Well, it’s, uhhh….” Okay, four presidents. I can name four presidents. If they’re wrong, she’ll move on. “George Washington…”

“Very good,” Mrs. Click encouraged.

Right on, okay. Shit. Is Benjamin Franklin a president? He seems like he should be.

Robin’s breath hitched as she froze, recognizing the two voices as the same and officially coming to terms with her predicament. She gasped, cupping her hand over her mouth. A few people turned to look at her, including Steve, who only glanced at her before looking back at the front of the classroom.

Steve cleared his throat and sat up. “Uhh, what about all the presidents that aren’t on Mount Rushmore, right? Like - like Teddy Roosevelt. That guy was a total badass.” Steve folded his arms, as if he’d made an incredible, life changing point.

“Theodore Roosevelt is one of the presidents on Mount Rushmore, Mr. Harrington,” Mrs. Click said.

“Oh,” Steve replied, caught off guard. Fuck. “Oh, right. I mean, that’s what I was trying to say.”

You’re an idiot, Steve. A goddamn idiot.

Robin couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, in a way. She hated him, but still. He was a person with feelings. He couldn’t help that he was an idiot.

She raised her hand.

“Mrs. Click, I know the answer,” Robin announced. The teacher gestured for Robin to take over. “George Washington, Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, and Thomas Jefferson.”

Thank God for band geeks.

Robin sighed. Sure, she’d helped him. But he was still a douchebag.

The class carried on like this. Any time Robin felt any sort of connection to Tammy, she’d get distracted by the idiot who’s hair wasn’t even that good. It certainly didn’t warrant a whole nickname over. Steve “I don’t care” Harrington would have been more accurate.

That’s the part that drove Robin the most crazy. He didn’t care about Tammy. He didn’t care about school. He didn’t care about history. Why was he there? Why was his one true talent being the absolute bane of her existence?

I have to stop thinking about it.

Robin’s ears perked up, which was a silly phrase considering she wasn’t hearing soundwaves. The whole, “I’m hearing Steve Harrington’s inner thoughts” had lost its luster. Like, she thought she was going crazy, then she thought she was going crazy in a different way, and then she realized she was just cursed.

Worst. Superpower. Ever.

Especially because she couldn’t hear anyone else! What made Steve different? Why him, of all people???

Grow up, Steve. It doesn’t mean anything.

The voice sounded much more somber that day. Robin leaned back, closer to Steve’s seat, even though the idea of her being physically closer was a bit arbitrary.

Ugh, but Tommy looks so good today.

Wait, did he say Tammy? Was he finally giving Tammy the time of day?

What I’d give to kiss him again…

Robin’s eyes bulged out of her head. She practically fell out of her chair, causing alarm to the rest of the class.

‘Him?!?!’ Steve wanted to kiss ‘him?!?!’ Wait - Steve had this friend - Tommy H - and, ugh, that guy was even worse than Steve. He was meaner, and stupider, and -

STEVE WANTED TO KISS A GUY?! AGAIN?!

Robin scrambled back into her seat, muttering a quiet apology, and everything around her returned to normal.

She didn’t, though. Nothing would ever be normal again.

Robin survived Click’s class. Steve started getting a reputation. She didn’t talk to him, but there was nothing discreet about the way he was seen prancing through the halls with his arm around a different girl every week.

None of them were Tammy. Robin hated how relieved that made her.

It was strange. He was drooling about Tommy in his mind any time Robin was close enough to hear it, but on the outside, he was pretending to be something completely different.

For the first time, Robin realized she and Steve had something in common.

The following year, she avoided him at all costs. They didn’t have any other classes together, so she really only had to worry about casually passing him in the halls or sitting near him in the cafeteria. It just felt too real to be around him. She knew something she wasn’t supposed to, and that made her feel…icky.

Of course, they were at the same school, so they did run into each other a few times. Once, he literally bumped into her when he wasn’t paying attention.

“Woah, sorry,” he said with a laugh. Do I know her?

Robin rolled her eyes, and then she saw his gaze drift. Ugh, Carol. Why is he even dating her?

She ran away without another word, like a scared little mouse. He probably thought she was this weird, hyper, super-nerd, but whatever. It didn’t matter what he thought of her, and she wasn’t going to stick around long enough to find out.

Then, one day, she saw Tommy and Steve running off to talk in private, and curiosity got the best of her.

She had to know what was going on, okay? She was borderline obsessed with Steve at this point. She was far past trying to figure out what was going on in her head, so she settled for learning more about what was going on in his.

Besides, if they really wanted the conversation to be private, they would have gone somewhere that didn’t have a spot nearby prime for snooping.

She listened in from behind a wall.

“What are you on about, Harrington?” Tommy asked.

He’s not even listening. I don’t know why I’m surprised anymore.

“I’m just saying, she’s - like, what are you doing, man?”

There was a slam of a body against a locker.

“I got a girlfriend,” Tommy drawled. “You should try it sometime.”

God, his lips are so close. I could just lean in and - no. No, I have to get over this. I can’t keep doing this.

“Maybe I will,” Steve said.

About a week later, he was dating Nancy Wheeler.

Their paths didn’t intersect much at all after that. Robin did think about meddling or investigating the situation more, but it wasn’t her business. Steve kept telling himself he had to move on, and she did too.

She still thought about Steve constantly, but it was hard not to. He was literally in her head. Sometimes she’d pass by him and hear total nonsense. I’d rather be fighting a goddamn demodog than go to math. Most of the time he just thought about what superpowers he’d have.

And then, mercifully, he graduated.

That summer, Robin got a job slinging ice cream at a nautical-themed store in Starcourt Mall. She had to wear a stupid outfit, but, like - she was in the marching band, she was used to that. The job was fine, albeit boring. It gave her extra money so she could save up for…something, eventually. She didn’t know what yet. Maybe college? Every penny counts and all that.

But one fateful day in June, the voice came back.

No, no, no. I can’t go in there, not like this. It’s humiliating. I’ll - no, get over yourself. It’s just a job. You stupid pathetic loser, can’t even get into college. No, shh. This will be good for you. Just - oh my God, just go in!

Robin didn’t even look up from wiping the counter when her new coworker approached. She didn’t have to.

He was different than when he’d been in high school. He was sadder. It was even more miserable to hear him ramble on about his innermost insecurities than it was to hear him think about boobs.

Like, at least Robin also thought about boobs. She was insecure too, but that meant there was no space in her brain to hear anyone else’s thoughts about themselves.

The weird thing was, he didn’t think about Tommy at all, and he was flirting with every woman that came in. Unsuccessfully, but still.

It was…incredibly surreal, her becoming friends with someone and hearing them become friends with her at the same time. Robin could hear him trust her more and more as the days went by. She could hear him change his initial assumptions about her. She could hear him soften up, open up, and show her that he’d changed. He was different than he’d been in Click’s class. He’d left his high school persona behind.

She could hear him slowly fall for her.

That was the worst part of the whole thing by far. Worse than Click’s class. Worse than holding his secret feelings for Tommy, worse than the stupid questions and musings that made no sense. He was starting to love her, and she was starting to love him - but, she knew the types of love weren’t the same. She would disappoint him, and she’d lose him.

How strange it was to fear losing something she used to loathe having at all.

Honestly, by the time they were stuck in that elevator, she’d been prepped on everything based on Steve’s thoughts alone. There was too much going on for anyone to question her lack of freaking out. Besides, it’s not like Steve or Dustin were the poster children for good decisions under pressure.

At least, she figured they wouldn’t be.

Erica was strong and capable, but she was a child. So was Dustin, but it was abundantly clear to Robin that this wasn’t his first rodeo. Same with Steve, but she knew that already. Over the few weeks of them working together, she’d heard all kinds of things. Things she’d once brushed off as nonsense, that became too specific to ignore. The Upside Down. The Russians. Eleven. The Mindflayer.

Robin thought it was part of some game, at first. Dustin was into Dungeons and Dragons, right? She was pretty sure the Mindflayer was from that, but no. Steve wasn’t into Dungeons and Dragons at all - she checked - and she started hearing more about experiences rooted in the real world. She heard about what really happened to Barb, and how it ripped Steve and Nancy apart. She heard about how Nancy ran off with Jonathan, and how Steve let her. She heard about Steve becoming a babysitter in the thick of it, because he had to. She heard about how he got himself beat up in the name of protecting them.

And then she watched him get beat up again, in the name of protecting her.

She did love him. Yeah. It was against everything she’d ever believed, but she loved Steve Harrington. She just didn’t love him like that.

She tried to tell him when they were on the floor, tied to the chair, and seemingly with only hours left to live, if that.

She started laughing. She wasn’t sure what else there was to do.

Fuck, that hurt. Oh shit, she’s crying. “It’s okay, don’t cry. Robin.” Ugh, the way he was trying to comfort her even in the worst of times. It made her ache. She kept laughing, louder now. “Wait, are you laughing?”

Yup.

“Yeah.”

What the hell is wrong with this woman?

“Jesus.”

“I just can’t believe,” she began, “that I’m going to die in a secret Russian base with Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. It’s just too trippy, man.”

It was trippy for even more reasons than he could ever know.

Yeah, you’re telling me. We’re screwed. “We’re not gonna die,” he said. Another annoying consequence of this whole mind reading thing was that she would always know when he was lying. “We’re gonna get out of here, I just gotta think for a second.”

“Sure, please do,” Robin insisted, still laughing. Him thinking consisted mostly of, shit shit shit oh my God shit what do we do?

But Steve rarely let that side show. He was so much different on the inside, all the time.

“Do you remember, um - Sophomore year Mrs. Click’s history class?”

Oh, shit. That just slipped out. Then again, they were gonna die, so…

“What?”

Robin continued. “Mrs. Clickety-Clackety. That’s what all us band dweebs called her. It was first period - Tuesdays and Thursdays - so you were always late. And you always had the same breakfast. Bacon egg and cheese on a sesame bagel. I sat behind you two days a week for a year. Mister Funny. Mister Cool. The King of Hawkins High himself. Do you even remember me from that class?”

No.

He didn’t say it, and he didn’t have to. “Of course you don’t,” Robin continued. Thoughts of that year came flooding back to her like a tsunami. “You were a real asshole, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But it didn’t even matter that you were an ass, I was still obsessed with you." The words were pouring out of her now. "Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just want to be popular. Accepted. Normal.”

His thoughts were a mere buzzing in the background of her confession, but she did pick out him lighting up at her mentioning her obsession. She immediately wished she’d just been totally honest, because now she was being misconstrued.

“If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great,” he said.

She knew that by now. She’d learned it through him.

“Steve, I -”

“I wish I’d known you back in Click’s class,” Steve said. “Maybe you would have helped me pass.”

“I did,” she confessed. “Or, at least I tried.”

“What?”

A buzzer shook them away from their conversation. She’d missed her chance. It was over.

And then came the truth serum. That damned, terrifying, life-changing, blessed truth serum.

Well, that and Dustin saving their asses with a cattle prod.

After that came more laughter and terror and running and even more laughter and more running and then they were in an elevator back up to the real world again. She was with her friend and she was ecstatic. It was like she was floating. She’d never so much as had a sip of alcohol, but this is what she always imagined musicians felt like when they wrote all those songs about being on drugs.

Popcorn. Back to the Future. Laughing, laughing, laughing. You know, the weird part about that truth serum was that she stopped hearing Steve’s thoughts, if only for a bit. He said everything he thought, so it really just sounded like an echo, and everything sounded like an echo to her. The colors were bright. The noises were loud. And Steve was -

Oh, no. Steve was her best friend.

They both got sick and ran for the bathroom. There was that rare moment of calm that, up until that point, she never thought she’d have again.

“You think we puked all that shit out of our system?” he asked.

Well. There was only one way to find out.

“Maybe,” Robin responded. “Ask me something.”

If he could read her mind, he would have heard something like - Ask me if I’m gay. Please, do this for me like I did for you. I don’t think I can say the words.

Instead, he asked her when the last time she peed herself was. She answered truthfully, but that wasn’t a truth she was scared to admit. They were being tortured earlier - peeing herself was the least of her worries.

“Alright, my turn,” Robin said. She took a deep breath and pondered the question, knowing that whatever she asked she likely already knew the answer to. But it wasn’t about knowing. It was about getting to the conversation she needed to have. If she didn’t do it now, she never would.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Steve answered quickly. “Yep. Nancy Wheeler, first semester, senior year.”

He didn’t mention Tommy, which was intriguing. From Robin’s point of view, he had dated her for show. Or, he’d dated her because Tommy rejected him.

“Really?” Robin asked, amused. “But she’s such a priss.”

Yeah, until she threatened to shoot me. “Hm,” Steve replied. “Turns out, not really.”

Woah. Okay. Evidently, Robin didn’t know everything yet.

“Are you still in love with Nancy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I think I found someone who’s a little bit better for me.”

Robin took a deep breath and put her head in her hands. This needed to happen, but she was still so scared. Even if he wasn’t homophobic, he loved her, and she was about to turn him down. How could their friendship sustain that? What would happen if he hated her guts, and she had to hear him think it every time they interacted?

She listened to him list off all the reasons he liked her. She was funny. She was smart. She was cool. Beautiful. He said all the things she’d heard him say in so many ways on the inside, but now it was real.

She couldn’t find any words to respond.

“Robin, did you just O.D. in there?”

“No,” she replied, her voice shaking. “I am still alive.”

He slid himself under the stall against the disgusting floor so he could face her. Oh, great. This wasn’t going to help at all.

“So what do you think?” he asked.

“Steve, I have to tell you something,” she said. “That thing I told you earlier, about being obsessed with you in Click’s class - it wasn’t - it wasn’t because I had a crush on you.”

He listened so intently his mind went quiet.

Robin told Steve about Tammy Thompson, and she saw him process it in real time. It didn’t take long, once he understood what she was referring to.

“Oh,” he finally said. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Holy shit.”

This is huge. I should tell her about Tommy. I should - I could - I finally have someone I can talk to about it.

“Steve, did you O.D. over there?”

“No, just thinking.”

I - I can’t. I can’t do it.

So instead, he did what he did best, and he made her laugh. And then the entire moment became focused on that, and how insane it was for them to be on the floor of the Starcourt bathroom after having spent days underground being tortured by Russians.

She didn’t get to tell him her other secret that day. They were quickly interrupted yet again by Dustin and thrust back into the madness.

But it didn’t matter. She knew she’d still have a friend once they saved the world.

After Starcourt “burned down” (Robin had to admit, she kind of loved officially being a part of the inner circle. She was now involved in the madness, and even though it was terrifying and awful and traumatic, it was so much more exciting than her world used to be), Robin and Steve decided to keep working together, because of course they did.

He had her secret, and she had his. He still didn’t know about that second part though.

They got a job at Family Video, thanks to her excellent ability to think on her feet and ramble until people gave her what she wanted. Keith was relatively easy to persuade.

After she came out to him and they became best buds, reading his mind developed into more of an echo all the time when it was just the two of them, because he told her everything he was thinking exactly the way he thought it.

There was only one thing he left out.

Tom Cruise is so hot. Oh God, do I have a kink for dudes named Tom?

Then, after Eddie Munson came in a few times - Huh, okay. There goes the Tom theory.

Robin couldn’t take it anymore. So, one day, when Steve was driving her home, she blurted it out.

“Steve, I can read your mind.”

He laughed at first. “What?”

“I can read your mind,” she said. “Just yours.”

“Uhhhh, is this some kind of weird joke?” he asked.

“No,” she replied. “I’m - ugh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you, and I - I’ve felt really awful about it, but I’ve been hearing your stupid thoughts ever since Click’s class, and I tried to tell you that day, but then I ended up telling you the other thing, and this felt like too much, and then we became really good friends and honestly it’s barely a thing anymore because we tell each other everything except for -”

“Wait, what??!”

Yeah, she knew she sounded crazy.

“Remember that day Mrs. Click called on you to ask which presidents were on Mount Rushmore? And you totally bombed?”

“No,” Steve said. “That kinda thing happened to me like three times a day.”

“Ugh, okay, well -” Robin stuttered, at least grateful he wasn’t kicking her out of the car. “Never mind. It’s just -”

“It’s only me?” he wondered. His voice was different now. “What am I thinking about right now?”

Robin honed in on his inner voice. “You just thought about how you accidentally stepped on a copy of The Breakfast Club and smashed it, and instead of confessing to Keith you told him that John Dover stole it and never gave it back, even though John Dover isn’t real.”

Steve’s eyes went wide.

“Hoooooly shit,” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit!” he repeated.

“I know!”

“Oh, my God!”

“I know!”

“Robin, this is insane!”

“I KNOW!!”

The car went quiet as Steve continued to wrap his brain around this. Well, it was quiet to anyone but the two of them.

Why is it only me?

“I don’t know,” Robin answered.

“Will you quit doing that?”

“I can’t help it!” she shot back.

Steve took a deep breath. “Okay, so you’ve been reading my mind for years. Got it. Cool. Totally cool.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not telling you.”

Steve gave a comforting smile. “Oh, yeah. You should be sorry for that.” Robin smacked him in response, and suddenly they were laughing again.

“Jerk!” she exclaimed. Once their laughter died down, he hummed in amusement.

"You know, it's really not fair you can read my mind and I can't read yours."

Robin nodded. "Agreed." There was another moment of silence between them.

“Huh,” he said. “Do you think we’re soulmates?”

Robin cocked her head and furrowed her brow in confusion. “What? Ew, Steve no -”

“Not, like, sexy soulmates,” he clarified.

“Sexy soulmates? Really?” she teased.

“Give me a break, Buckley,” he replied. “I just found out you’ve been in my head for two years, alright? It’s weird.”

She couldn’t argue with that. “Yeah.”

“So,” Steve continued. “You knew about the Upside Down stuff before the elevator thing.”

“Yeah.”

“Which means you also probably know…”

The Tommy thing.

“Yeah,” she confirmed.

“Stop saying yeah.”

“Okay.”

“I guess I just -” Steve sighed, throwing his head back against the seat. “I guess I’m freaking out a little, cuz like - privacy and all that.”

“I wish I could control it, trust me -”

“No, I know that,” he replied. “I mean, shit, if I could be out of my own head I would be. But, like, I don’t know. It’s kinda nice that you’re in there. Like, if it had to be anyone…”

“It would be your non-sexy soulmate,” Robin concluded with a smirk.

Steve returned it. “Oh, I’m gonna regret that, huh?”

“Forever and ever, babe.”

She couldn’t believe it. Finally, everything was out in the open. It was all up from here, right?

“Okay,” Steve said. “Well. If this is happening whether we like it or not, better put it to good use, right?”

She raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Steve grinned. Robin’s eyes widened as she heard his idea moments before they were spoken.

“Robin, I’m gonna help you talk to girls.”

WHAT?!

This was hopeless and humiliating. How Steve was able to convince her this was a good idea, she would never know.

Tammy had graduated and gone to Nashville or whatever, but Vickie…

They had so much in common! And she was so pretty, and so sweet, and - and they played right next to each other in the marching band!

Of course, Robin could barely squeak a word out whenever Vickie looked her way. Thus, Steve decided she needed to practice.

He let her take some of the pretty customers instead of keeping them all for himself. At first, it was rough.

Be cool. Act like you don’t even like her.

“I don’t even like you.”

Okay, not like that.

It got easier, though. Eventually, Robin started to take hold of that classic Harrington charm. She wasn’t getting numbers or anything, but that’s not what it was about. It was their own special thing that they had. A secret mission. An inside joke. A bit they were fully committed to, even if only for their own enjoyment.

It was so weird and ridiculous, but whatever.

Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington, one-sided mind-reading duo and non-sexy soulmates. Who would have thought?

___________________________

I have no idea who to tag for this (my taglist is based on romantic pairings lmao), so hopefully whoever is interested finds it okay! <3

#platonic stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #writing #stobin #steve and robin #platonic soulmates stobin

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manicpixiefelix · 3 months

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 15.

Summary: Oliver's first night and the next morning at Saltburn, and you learn that not only does he know more about you and Felix than you'd assumed, but he knows even less about the social rules of a place like this than you'd imagined.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: suggestive themes, we finally get the basis of the consensual pervert/enabler dynamic between oliver/reader(/felix). its implications in this chapter but will probably get more explicit in future.

A/N: 4908 words. venetia catton is a menace to society and i am in lvoe with her. set up is being set up!! we're getting there, friends!!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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You wish you hadn't looked out of the window. You wished you hadn't cracked open the door to step onto the balcony. You wished you hadn't waited up.

Dinner had ended hours ago, and Felix was well and truly asleep, but you'd left your smokes on his balcony and had taken a break from going over the guest lists for the upcoming events that Duncan had provided you with. It was something you did every year, it helped calm your anxiety around these formal events, to be well versed on all the patrons in attendance, making everyone feel as though their place at Saltburn mattered, if only for a night. There was most certainly some deep, psychological root of your crippling social anxiety and fear of faux par and failure, but that was almost certainly a problem to investigate in the future.

The lilac study had been functionally unused since before even Felix had been born, sitting idle and untouched but beautifully furnished directly across from his room, on the other side of the long gallery, with a beautiful view of the gardens. It became unofficially your study many years ago, though sometimes Felix would use it too if he had some kind of Summer project he had to attend to. But now it was yours, set up with a bulky computer for the occasional emails from your family business that you were becoming slowly more involved in. Mostly, however, you spent your time thoroughly poring over these dossiers of guest lists with attached relevant information, committing all of them to memory.

After spending most of the day high, you felt guilty enough to get a head start on the Summer that evening.

But just before midnight you'd needed a smoke.

Oliver and Venetia painted so pale in the moonlight, Oliver half dressed and clearly ready for bed, Venetia with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders that you knew she wouldn't have brought herself. It doesn't seem to be a particularly deep conversation, but you think you can see Venetia smiling, and a smile like that can never mean anything good. Surely she'd told Oliver some pretty lie about why she was out there, but her room was on the other side of the house.

Oliver is unconventionally wonderful, and she is, and forever will be, Venetia Catton.

He will fall for her tricks, and you're sure part of her, just like her brother, just like yourself, would fall for part of Oliver's unsuspecting charms.

Just like she said she had with Eddie.

No, this was deliberate, you were sure; Venetia was playing this dangerous game again.

Retiring back to your study, you make sure to keep the door ajar to hear of anyone coming through the gallery. Saltburn is a creature that groans when you tread in the wrong places; you, like Duncan, had long ago mastered the art of moving around the house in total silence. None of the Cattons had ever felt it a necessary skill to learn. Oliver hadn't even been here a day. His footsteps practically echoed like drum beats.

"Everything okay, Ollie?" You shoot for casual, voice loud enough that you know he'd hear it in the quiet ambiance of the night, but that it wouldn't disturb Felix. The footsteps stop. There's no tell-tale creak of his door. Then, he moves towards you.

"How'd you know it was me?" Oliver, at your door, is shirtless. Oh. Right. Of course he was. He had been in the garden only moments before.

"I saw you downstairs," you say, trying to regain your train of thought. It's the easiest for him to digest, and most of the truth. He hadn't seemed to like the thought of you knowing his prescription earlier, even though you were just embarrassed to admit you'd stolen his glasses for a few days back in the first few months of meeting him, throwing enough money at an optometrist that they'd figured out his prescription from his current glasses. Right now you didn't want to tell him that you had spent enough time here that you could distinguish the Cattons from their staff, and distinguish each of the Cattons by footstep alone, and that Oliver's was so blatantly different to everyone else's that it was easy to deduce it was him. No, you don't say any of that.

"Oh," Oliver says awkwardly, shivering a little. Despite the heat of the day, it had cooled off considerably, "I spotted Venetia down there, I thought she might have been sleepwalking."

"Was she?" You ask with an automatic little smile, not wanting to give away how much you knew this to be Venetia's game.

"Said she was looking at the moon."

A sight you knew was perfectly visible from her own room. But you bite your tongue on that.

"So no?" You let the smile ease to something less robotic, something knowing, and Oliver sheepishly shook his head. Settling back in your chair in the lamp light, you look him over. Had he always looked so... you remember how he'd looked in the moonlight of your room and you have to look away, lest you get yourself flustered.

"Are you alright?" Oliver speaks up, taking a step into the study, finally letting himself look around. "Thought you'd be in bed."

"I'm meant to be," you admitted, "but I was getting ahead of this year's Summer schedule," you gesture to the book, and Oliver finally comes and joins you. He leans down over your shoulder, squinting at the pages, your shoulder pressed to his hip. He squints a little longer. Ah, "you're welcome to have a good look at it tomorrow," you offered brightly, pointedly not saying when you're wearing contacts and actually able to see, but Oliver thankfully seems to take the hint, even if he's still clearly awkward about the reminder. His hand then comes to rest on your shoulder, looking down at you and the way you're glowing in the gold light.

A moment passes; there's something on his mind, but you'll never push. Eventually it always comes out. It doesn't take long this time at least.

"Felix brought someone else to Saltburn, didn't he? Before; not just you," Oliver says softly, eyebrows knitting together. Fucking Venetia, you thought ruefully. Some of it must show on your face, because Oliver's hand comes up from your shoulders, thumb against the faintest scowl that has wrinkled your brow.

"What did she tell you?"

"Nothing really," he says faintly; while his expression is no longer concerned, there's something about the way he's watching you, cataloguing every small moment and movement of your face, each looking in your eyes, everything about you and your reaction that makes you feel... studied. Catalogued. Seen. You don't flinch away, don't move, just let yourself react, and let Oliver watch all the while. Then, after a moment, his hand is moving again, holding your chin, thumb running so gently over the curve of your lips, "called me lucky is all," he mumbled, as if transfixed by your face, by the way you're allowing this moment to go on, "said you didn't even like the last one." His words dip with disdain as he recalls what Venetia had said; what a snitch she was, you found yourself thinking.

"You need to be careful, Ollie," you tell him faintly, warning on your lips as you found yourself biting your tongue on a past that you don't feel is yours to really speak on. It was true that you had never been best friends with Eddie, but you were still rather fond of him. Even if that fondness was born from Felix's. Even if you were glad to be rid of him. Even if he hadn't even made it down the driveway before you were sending emails and worming your way into the Oxford administration usernet.

"Careful of the cold-blooded Cattons?" He asks, voice surprisingly idle, as if bored by the warnings, unphased by them. Where had his earlier trepidation gotten to, you wonder, right as Oliver gently caresses your cheek, "or should I be careful of you?" There's something in his voice that you're sure you'd only heard when he was looking up from between your thighs.

When you open your eyes, you find yourself meeting his curious gaze. The lamp paints his cool skin gold. One conversation with Felix and his hesitancy is gone. It's like you picked up right where you'd left off with each other before Felix's jealousy had awoken. It's actually a little infuriating, bordering on embarrassing, how taken you are with Oliver's quiet confidence.

After a moment in which you struggle to find the right words, Oliver actually smiles at you. It's almost condescending, like he understands the effect he has on you in these moments.

"Don't be jealous, pet," he tells you. Immediate, flustered shock flashes across your face before you can even stop it. But he doesn't tease, doesn't draw out the moment, he simply lets you breathe in and adjust to the moment, to his use of the nickname.

Saltburn creaks, the tell-tale noise of the old house settling into its foundation; Oliver, unfamiliar with the way the Estate echoes it's own, predicable, discordant melody of a night, looks to the door with sudden nerves once more. Something about his momentary uncertainty of his surrounds reminds you to breathe, to settle yourself like the house you practically grew up in.

You give a tired smile like it's all merely a joke, closing the dossier on the table in front of you.

"You should go to bed, Ollie," you tell him, voice nothing but warm and gentle, "we both should." Oliver ducks his head obligingly, stepping back from your seat to give you space, but still waiting patiently for you.

Once the lamp clicks off and the two of you are drenched in darkness, Oliver's voice cuts through the darkness as the two of you make your way to the lighter, long gallery.

"It must be nice being away from Oxford, being somewhere you don't have to pretend."

"Pretend what?"

"You know, the thing that's going on with you and Felix, whatever you want to call it." He says it so casually that you respond without really thinking. After all, he had a point; it's one of the many reasons you loved Summers at Saltburn.

"I don't even know the right words for it," after a long moment to think, you admit sheepishly. Then, moving to the long gallery that's still dimly lit, you look to Oliver with mild confusion as you fully process his words, "you... know?" Oliver, shirtless and in his pyjama bottoms, leans casually against his doorframe with a coy little smile. "How much do you know?" His smile grows wider; even from here his eyes look like they're shining with amusement.

"I don't think that kind of talk's appropriate for polite company," he teases, and you can feel your heartbeat racing. Sure you weren't careful at university, but you thought you'd at least convinced everyone it was platonic. Somehow.

"What- Oliver what does that mean? What have you seen or heard or -?" You babbled, flustered beneath his knowing gaze that suddenly burned with desire.

"Don't you want to be wanted anymore?" Is all he offered, simply wishing you a good rest of your night, slipping into his room. You're left flustered and speechless and honestly getting a little hot and bothered trying to figure out exactly what he was implying, and what he had seen.

Back in your room, you flick on the lamp on your side of the bed, trying to remain as quiet as possible as to not disturb the already sleeping Felix as you undress yourself, searching for your pyjamas. You're so in your head thinking about the encounter you'd just had with Oliver, trying to understand all the implications he left unsaid, that you don't even hear Felix yawning and shifting in the bed, half woken by the light.

"Hot," he mumbles after a long, appreciative hum, wearing a wide smile that would have bordered on leering if you didn't know him better. Actually, it was leering, but if anyone was allowed to leer at you it would be half asleep Felix, "this is perfect," he muses, pulling back the blankets to make room for you on the bed next to him, "you can stay like this; come here, don't worry about the pyjamas, no-one cares about them -" and you're more than happy to tuck yourself up against him like this. Pyjamas were more a habit than anything else, and Felix draws shapes on your bare back as you're both falling asleep.

Yes, you think to yourself as you're drifting off, it is nice being away from Oxford, being somewhere you didn't have to pretend.

The next morning you decide to chalk Oliver's boldness and implications up to the late hour, and don't feel the need to mention it over breakfast. Or, well, not all of it.

"Is there something wrong with the toast, pet?" Pamela asks gently across the table, her big, doe eyes boring into you where you'd been glaring down at your plate for the past five minutes. Venetia and Farleigh have been talking quietly together on Felix's other side, clearly comparing notes on Oliver already. Looking up at her just as the other two go quiet, you try and reassure her that everything's fine, even if your face hasn't quite gotten the message.

"Come on, shouldn't you just be happy that -" Venetia starts, but you cut her off before she can say something demeaning about either yourself or Oliver, knowing her too well to trust her mouth at any time of day, even over breakfast with the whole family.

"I am happy Ollie's here, Ven," you told her flatly, leaning forward to level an unimpressed look at her around Felix, "less thrilled about you being weird and coquettish outside my window," even though your façade doesn't show it, you're pleased by the pleased little cackle Felix covers with a sip of his drink, "do they not have the moon on your side of the house?" You snipe, and Venetia immediately rolls her eyes.

"See, I told you," Farleigh clicked his tongue pointedly, refusing to look at you in this moment, "possessive."

"Existing in my own home doesn't make me weird," Venetia gives a mean, humourless smile back, "and talking to our houseguest after he approached me doesn't make me coquettish."

"It does when you're doing it in that little, damn teddy nightgown and talking shit about me!"

"Christ, Vee," Felix sighed with faint disappointment. While your ribbing could be construed as playful or even jealous, Venetia always took Felix's negativity to heart. Not that he'd ever been able to tell that; Venetia always did well to hide her hurt behind further, thorny barbs.

"I wasn't talking shit," she sighed, terribly exasperated all of a sudden, "I just told him you were like one of those angry, little purse dogs Paris Hilton carries around," Venetia said without a hint of apology or remorse, "which of course makes Felix Paris -" Felix tears his slice of toast in half and jams both halves into Venetia's cup of tea without warning, causing her to shriek with absolute indignation.

"Felix, please," Elspeth sighs from beside Pamela, who'd all but leapt from her seat with shock, watching as two of the staff suddenly swarmed the flustered young woman to start cleaning the spilled, soiled drink from the table.

"'Felix, please'?" You huff mockingly under your breath before your best mate even gets the chance to be indignant for himself, "Venetia, please," you correct haughtily, though you're quietly glad that Elspeth has chosen to pointedly ignore you. However Venetia herself casts her gaze to you and Felix, both of you wearing near identical, childish looks of irritation, to which she responds in kind. Venetia sticks her tongue out at you both.

Pamela just watches Venetia's poor teacup despairingly as it's whisked away. Elspeth sighs deeply, and asks if anyone had informed Oliver what time breakfast would be. It had slipped your mind, and judging by the look on Felix's face, it had slipped his as well.

By the time Oliver joins you all, the tense atmosphere had disappeared, easing to something light and bright as you and the Catton family looked forward to the day, and to helping Oliver get properly acquainted with the Estate. During the discussion, the planning, you make a mental note to find one of the many beautiful books on Saltburn and the intricacies of it's heritage for Oliver to have a look at if he wanted to. While the idea of researching one's holiday home may not sound like the greatest idea of fun to most people, getting familiar with the house your best friend always took for granted made you feel like you understood it better, made you feel like you knew what you were settling yourself amongst.

"Y/N, dear, is that copy of Percy Bysshe Shelley's poetry still amongst your collection?" Sir James brings up, his eyes bright and wide. The book in all it's aged glory is sitting on your shelf in Oliver's room at that moment.

Very suddenly you're hit with a rush of affection, and the memory of a sweet summer afternoon, of being captured by Love's Philosophy written so simply on those pages. Those summer afternoons turned into evenings and the maze became the kind of magical only you could seem to feel, but that Felix would always indulge you in. Oh. You had to bring Oliver along, see if he could feel it too.

"Yeah," you cleared your throat, giving Sir James a smile across the long dining table. He seems delighted, apparently having read Percy Shelley's biography not to long ago, and has since wanted to reacquaint himself with the poet's work. For a moment, Venetia lights up with genuine interest and intrigue; for as long as you'd known her, she'd shared her father's passion for history, both harbouring a peculiar fascination for the sordid private lives of prominent creative figures.

Several years ago, Venetia had gifted her father the biography of Howard Hughes for Christmas; the following year, Sir James had pulled enough strings to get them both in attendance as VIPs for The Aviator's world premiere, the film based on that very same book. Venetia says the best part was meeting and having drinks with Leo DiCaprio; the only photo that she got properly printed and framed from the premiere, the one of her and her father beaming, says she's lying. They still spend hours in the library together when James isn't working. Venetia almost seems to be relaxed in those moments, from what you'd observed.

Oliver is back to being his quiet, awkward self when he finally makes it to the table, all fidgeting and uncertain steps towards the only empty chair at the table. Venetia lights up a cigarette as a new teacup is placed in front of her, both she and Farleigh observing Oliver's every movement with anthropological curiosity. So, instead of looking at either of them, Oliver looks to you, giving an almost nervous smile as he sits gingerly.

The mood is almost cripplingly uncomfortable.

Oliver tries to order a full English breakfast; Duncan looks like he'd just called his mother a cunt to his face.

The second hand embarrassment at the failed formality makes you feel like you're seconds away from some kind of empathetic anxiety attack, so you jump to your feet as the rest of the family act like they really live in a reality where every other person knew every secret high society script they were born knowing. They recover, but not quick enough for Oliver to not be tense, nor for you to not have made your way to the breakfast table on the side.

"Breakfast is on the side, darling," Elspeth says with an almost forcibly bright air, but falters as you call out that you've got it.

"You don't need to do that -" Oliver mumbles awkwardly, but is cut off when Venetia starts actually barking at you with a wide, mean smile.

This time, Felix picked up one of the cooked tomato halves from his plate, squishing it in his hand over Venetia's new cup of tea, letting the pulpy remains splatter into her now second ruined drink that she couldn't cover fast enough.

"How would you like your eggs?" Duncan ignores the petty siblings as the poor service staff once more whisk away Venetia's teacup, much to her exasperation. Oliver looks to the butler nervously, wondering if this was a joke or a test, assuring him that he could get them himself, but it's Farleigh who cuts in, voice like ice.

"The eggs are made for you," he explains coldly, barely looking up from whatever he had been working from, but his gaze flicks from Oliver's nervous expression to you, over his shoulder, carrying a plate loaded with food and scowling at him and his tone. Finally, convinced that it wasn't a joke, Oliver awkwardly asks for fried eggs from Duncan, who complies, and simply seems glad that the interaction had ended. When you put the plate down in front of Oliver, he glances up at you, almost looking apologetic.

"You really didn't have to -"

"I know," you responded cheerfully, giving his shoulder a squeeze, "you can get yourself breakfast for the whole rest of Summer, but it's your first day."

"You're very kind, very good to me," Oliver looks up at you through his lashes, blue eyes shining, grateful, stumbling through his words, "you- you're very good." For just a moment there's a flash of something more deliberate in his eyes that the others don't seem to see, and he watches the way the praise hits you with intent.

"Oh my god," Venetia groans across the table, "it's like you want me to bark at you -"

"Venetia, I have more tomatoes," Felix warned without even looking at her, but pointing sharply to emphasise his words. You thanked him airily as you returned to your seat and he beamed at you while his sister called you both terribly childish. She did not appreciate being reminded that she was the one barking in the first place.

It's Felix who breaks the tension to tell Oliver about the earlier discussion about the Percy Shelley biography, but it's Venetia who brings up the story of the poet's doppelganger. As she regales them all with the story of the housekeeper seeing the image of Shelley waving at him out of the window before realising the poet was in Italy and he was on the third floor, she tells it as if it's simply some scandalous gossip. Felix Catton, in possession of something of a rabbit heart when it came to anything remotely spooky, begged his sister to stop, even going so far as to cover his ears, but she seemed to enjoy getting under his skin, blithely ending the story with the housekeeper drowning only hours after the event.

While Elspeth announces that the story gave her goosebumps, and you admit it did send a shiver down your spine, Farleigh blurts out, without looking up from his notebook -

"I heard he fucked his sister."

While Sir James clearly didn't appreciate the addition, it's surprisingly Oliver who finds his voice.

"I think that was Byron."

The certainty of the correction is enough to get Farleigh to actually look up from his work. That's not how this was meant to go, at least that's what you think is on Farleigh's mind. Very rarely was Farleigh corrected at Saltburn; either the Catton's weren't as well researched on whatever he was spouting nonsense about, or they simply didn't care, but the point is Farleigh wasn't corrected at Saltburn. Farleigh could get away with the little white lies he told for fun here. He certainly wasn't fact checked by a newcomer at breakfast with the whole family.

When Oliver looks away from Farleigh, across to you and Felix, he sees the near identical smug little smiles you're both giving him. Both of you look rather pleased, and you see him almost grow rather flustered across the table. At least until Duncan sets a plate of fried eggs down in front of him.

Oliver's face falls, fork prodding the warm, gooey yolks almost like he's cautious of them.

You're back to watching, to observing and cataloguing further information about your guest. Runny eggs make Oliver sick; he looks it too, or perhaps that's simply the discomfort that comes from knowing he'll have Duncan's intense presence looming over him to take away what he'd just so kindly brought. Skin prickling with discomfort and desire to help, despite knowing there was nothing you could do, you fidget and try to finish your own food.

"Think I might head down for a swim after this," you hadn't, but you needed to say something to break the silence. Venetia and Felix are both quick to jump on the idea with enthusiasm, and Farleigh reluctantly agrees, if only to not feel left out. Across from you all, Oliver's trying to make himself as small as possible as he works on the breakfast you'd brought him. Never assuming, always waiting for an invitation, even now - "you game, Ollie?" You grinned.

Of course he was.

All you could think about as you searched for your nice bathers was how different Oliver was from last night. Then, your mind wandered back to that conversation, to all he had said, all he had implied. Catching a glimpse of Felix, already ready in just his swim trunks, towel slung over his shoulder, leaning and looking so effortlessly gorgeous and tanned already in the doorframe, you think of Oliver's implications. Clearly he'd seen enough of the two of you in private to understand the extent of your actual relationship, and considering the shit you got away with in public, and how both you and Felix admittedly couldn't be too bothered with things like closing the blinds when you have other things on your mind, you've got something of an idea of what Oliver may have seen. No, it wasn't appropriate for polite company.

But he'd slept with you, had seen and possibly heard you with Felix, and clearly had a thing for Felix himself. Why was he holding back? Why was he continuing to tease you the way he had last night? What kind of game was he playing?

Fine, if Oliver wanted to be a tease, wanted to play games, you could more than match his energy.

One of the many skills you'd picked up from a life spent next to the effortlessly attractive Felix, was learning how to put in the effort to appear effortlessly attractive even in comparison, in any situation. Of course you were hot, that was a given, but there was an art to the way you moved and smiled and behaved and posed and focused attention on yourself like it was a science you'd absolutely perfected.

Which is how Oliver, the last to arrive to the little, wooden jetty by the lake, found you laying out, glittering and glistening with water as the droplets clung to you, had your flattering bathers clinging to you in just the right way. Feet hanging over the edge, you arch your back just enough to tilt your head back, to watch him approaching upside down. Hands appearing casual, but carefully placed, one rested on your hip and lower belly, while the other reached out to give him a wave, your smile wide and sharp.

The others greet him, and though his gaze momentarily flicks to them, it always returns to you. Your back arches higher as you laugh, almost lifting you up to sitting, but you lay flat when he's on the jetty, when he's standing over you with a curious look.

"Hello gorgeous Ollie," you say with a teasing grin, "was beginning to get worried we might have lost you in there," you tell him, at least trying to look like you were trying to keep your expression serious, "its a big house."

"Are you high again?" He asks, and your smile grows all wide and sharp and amused. You shake your head.

"Why?"

"No reason," he says after a beat. Again there's quiet, apart from Felix and Farleigh squabbling over something trivial back on the grass. Oliver examines you, unashamedly letting his gaze roam down your body, the way you've displayed yourself so almost casually.

"Everything alright, Ollie?" You ask after a moment, reaching out to gently touch the side of his knee, contact, reminding him all at once to get out of his head, that this was reality. But your voice drops low enough that the others wouldn't hear, hand coming away, breaking the contact as you level a Cheshire smile at him, "is there something you want?"

Already it's worth it, since you see the exact moment Oliver realises what you're playing at. There's a sharp intake of breath, but an appreciative look in his eyes that quickly flick down your body once more. Then, he turns away, face quickly turning red as you all but cackle with glee.

The game has begun.

If all Oliver Quick could bring himself to do was watch, you'd put on a fucking show.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x you #oliver quick x y/n #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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