#smoothsharking

[a-really-big-cat]

it

it's b

because

it's because

because jazz is

jazz is so sm

#smooth lions #smoothsharking #sharks

[possessedscholar]

Sharpedo has Rough Skin not because it is a shark (sharks are smooth), but because it is a torpedo (torpedos have a rough exterior)! Hope this helps!

#pokemon #smoothsharking

[0ryza13]

Actually that anon from earlier got me thinking, I'm pretty sure they said I would be "easy to smoothshark" because of my reaction to that post about "writing fictional characters having sex is problematic, bc they can't consent" thing.

Listen. Smoothsharking someone is when you insist that a very obviously false fact is actually true, and watch then lose their minds trying to convince you otherwise. Smoothsharking is fun, it's the jester baiting the hounds, and most importantly here, it is very obviously baiting because it is insisting on making up a fact.

Seeing someone state an opinion, eg "I think this is problematic!" And reacting with a "what the fuck is wrong with you" is not getting smoothsharked.

This is because you cannot factcheck whether someone actually holds an opinion or not.

You assumed that the person saying that is baiting. What if they arent? What if they actually believe that? Am I still "easy to smoothshark" then? Or are you just willing to ignore other people's bad statements and pretend that nobody is ever genuine ever?

My brother often says a shitton of transphobic (amongst other -phobic and -ist) stuff. He also says that he does it for people's reactions.

Is someone "easily baited" for reacting badly to being told that their existence is wrong? Just because my brother says he doesn't really believe that stuff?

His actions don't seem to reflect his "real" beliefs, then. How can any of us know whether he's actually a bigot or if he's just "smoothsharking" us? We can't read his mind.

My point here is that you cannot equate smoothsharking and baiting for laughs, which rely on comical insistence on a blatantly untrue fact to watch people insist on correcting you, with saying 'I hold this controversial opinion!' Because at the end of the day, there's no real way to know if the second person is trying to joke or is being genuine.

So next time, think before you speak. And I've turned off anon, if you want to come back and try this debate again.

#long post #rant #smoothsharking #baiting #problematic

[spoonbenders]

i think i can officially add cartoon theory videos to my fixations list

#watching skin theory for the 80th time #on this note i hate it when ppl try to um actually cartoon theories like its literally smoothsharking at this point #wheres ur sense of whimsy. why are u pressed over this

[astraltrickster]

I feel like outside of modern tumblr people have kind of lost track of what "[Vriska/Insert Other Sympathetic (Anti)villain Here] Did Nothing Wrong" and other similar memes and shorthand mean, and I don't mean this as a NEW thing that's happening because I know the first case of it undoubtedly happened within a day of Vriska Did Nothing Wrong becoming a meme and this kind of thing WITHOUT meme assistance has happened forever, but,

Like, it was never supposed to be a claim that they're ACTUALLY UNIRONICALLY flawless paragons of morality and kindness who only do bad things because they're poor sad little babygirls who just need a hug, it was supposed to be smoothsharking the My Experience Not Being Universal is Everything Wrong With the World crowd that takes personal offense at anyone DARING to sympathize with a character they don't, the "ummmmmmm you know they killed people right??? You do?? So you think murder is good??? You want to murder???? You HAVE murdered haven't you???? FBI!!!" kind of clowns, the ones who are already DETERMINED to never understand nuance or catharsis - just taking them, looking them in the eyes, and going "yeah, no they didn't. No that cartoonishly exaggerated response was 100% justified, you're right, I approve of vaporizing children's hospitals because one of the patients laughed at your hat, that is a very good and sexy thing to do."

So it's just weird to me to step outside my well-curated circle and be suddenly reminded of how many people will bend over backwards to say their villainous fave ACTUALLY UNIRONICALLY did nothing wrong when they slaughtered hundreds of innocents because, like, they LIVED in the place that hurt them, so REALLY, were they THAT innocent? Or they used a very impersonal weapon to do it, collateral damage is tragic but they were AIMING for a very specific target they were justified in targeting! Or straight up they don't count because they weren't main characters. And they will act like this is an actual moral code that can translate to real life, because that's what you should use to determine your feelings about fiction! So these characters are canonically just poor sad soft little babies deep down and don't you just want to give them a hug and if you like them being villains then you hate recovery!

Anyway the point of all of this is that if I ever say that my fave villains or antivillains did nothing wrong please know that I mean it to say that their every action was 100% justified for real and it is exactly what any real person morally should do in the same spot and I desperately want the opportunity to do all the same things they did, not hyperbolically at all, in fact I think their actions are not ONLY a lesser evil than the most obvious alternatives but that they would have been good under any circumstances, hope this helps!

#fandom #smoothsharking. it's smoothsharking. #maybe one of the orphans in kotomine's basement was a jerk did you ever consider that??

[higgsboshark]

I used to date one of those wannabe-Vulcan “logic is everything” tech bros and it’s just now occurred to me that I spent our entire relationship smoothsharking the shit out of him

I’d drop a comment like “Did you know narwhals love wearing porkpie hats but they hate fedoras?”

And he, unable to recognize whimsy despite years of heavy exposure, would be like “What the fuck are you talking about, no they don’t”

And I’d say “Have YOU ever seen a narwhal in a fedora?”

“No,” he’d say, condescension thick in the air, “no one has, because narwhals don’t wear fedoras.”

“Exactly!” At this point I’d give him a brilliant, pleased smile. “Because they like porkpie hats.”

He’d take a deep breath, nostrils flaring. “You,” he’d grit, “have never seen a narwhal wearing a porkpie hat. Because that. Doesn’t. Happen.”

“Well no,” I’d say, “because porkpies are made out of straw, so they float. The narwhals can never keep them on. It’s terribly sad.”

Then I’d keep giving him that same huge smile until the veins on his forehead popped out and he stalked off to play a round of golf or eat an unseasoned chicken breast or something.

... anyway I know quite a few facts about narwhals and I’m gay now

#there are many benefits to pretending to be a marine biologist

[toskarin]

I have no quarrel with you but the "AI" Elf Post feels less smoothsharking and more like, "haha you fell for my ultimate trickery: lying online"

Even with the bit about sex perverts slipped in

I see how you can come to that conclusion, but the first time someone asked, I very much did say "this is a joke about the posts where people are praising AI video" and explained the full joke, along with what it's from. every response after that is me turning towards the camera and saying that it's a popular french animated film that cost a lot of money and did not make a lot of money

[pokesmashorpokepass]

Gen IV, Complete!

Yes, it's true! We've trekked our way through snowy Sinnoh's glorious mountains and come out with a consensus on the most smashable of Gen IV's Pokemon!

As such, it is time to look at this generations...

Sultans of Smash!

(Which is just a fancy way of saying they got more “Smash” than “Pass” votes)

So lets get right to it and have ourselves a look at this Gen's selections! Our Smashables are (under the Read More because oh man this gonna take a while, though admittedly Gen IV has slimmer pickings than some other generations...):

1. Staring us off is... a water starter? Yes, it seems we've finally only got one starter who could make it to a majority Smash in the form of Empoleon! But at 62.5% Smashable, they've certainly made it by a fair margin. Guess this penguin made like their namesake and conquered! (In this case, conquered the polls) Also, fun fact, 5ft7 was pretty close to the historical Napoleon's height! And no, that wasn't short for the time. If you're wondering where the stereotype of him being short comes from, the answer is British Political Cartoons.

2. This next entry is a familiar sight to many, I'm sure. After all, who didn't see Shinx and think "Oh sweet, Electric Type cat!" and evolve it into one of the world's most kickass lions? Not many of y'all I suspect, because Luxray, said kickass lion, has graced this list with a fine 66.7% Smash rating! They say a Luxray's eyes can see through anything, and apparently that includes seeing through the complexities of people so they can charm their way into the hearts of many.

3. You may remember a certain rose themed Pokemon making their way onto the list back in Gen III, so I'm sure many of you will be pleased to hear that their evolution, Roserade, has made it in! At a 69.1% Smash rating, it seems there's no masking the love many feel for this rose.

4. Many of us here on the tumblr claim to be Anti-Monarchist, but it seems there's one queen many have made an exception for. That's right, that most royal of queen bees, Vespiquen! Winning a solid 57.5% Smash rating, seems this queen rules more than just her beehive.

5. I have to admit, I'm pleasantly surprised by this next one. Floatzel, everyone's favorite water weasel/otter hybrid, has made like an Aqua Jet and quickly propelled themself to a 59.2% smash rating!

6. There's no two ways about it, I think we all saw this one coming as much as we did Gardevoir's. They've been an internet favorite since Diamond and Pearl were first released, so it's only natural Lopunny would make the Sultans of Smash! Her Standard Form, at an impressive 77.5% Smash rating, is a classic in the world of Pokemon Smashing. But special mention has to go to her Mega Evolution! While yes, Mega Lopunny technically got a smaller rating than Standard (61.8%), it must be said that this is 61.8% of more than 3,000 votes (3,366 to be precise)! Thanks to the reblog of tumblr user tamamita (who I don't @ because I'm not sure he wants to be bothered), we have so much data on the smashability of Mega Lopunny! But most importantly, we have confirmed that many who see this lapine angel agree that it is time to le.

7. How do you feel about... magic? I must assume many of y'all like it, since next on the list is Mismagius, at a 70.6% Smash rating! Seems this mage makes more than one kind of magic.

8. This next one has made quite the impression! Maybe it's the fact that they're one of the few pseudo-legendaries in the series to be catchable at a reasonable point in their game if you know where to look. Maybe it's the fact that beloved Sinnoh champion Cynthia kicked so many of y'alls asses with them. Or maybe it's just because you have eyes and good taste. Whatever the reason, Garchomp has made their way into the Sultans of Smash, smooth as (memes about) sharks skin with a 69.7% Smash rating in standard form and a 54.5% rating as Mega Garchomp! Yes, smooth as sharks skin. Everyone knows sharks are smooth! :)

9. Ok, smoothsharking aside, this next one was also someone we, shall we say, had reserved parking for. Everyone's favorite Jackal Fighter Pokemon, Lucario! With an excellent 77.6% rating in Standard Form and a 75.6% rating as Mega Lucario, there's little for me to add about this legend of Pokemon Smashing. All I'll say is welcome to the club, brother!

10. I know a secret: many of y'all are weak to a cocky smirk. Oh, think I'm wrong? Well, I think Weavile and their 58.4% Smash rating would beg to differ! But should be we so surprised? Weavile are some of the best thieves in the Pokemon world, only natural they steal hearts as well!

11. I have one word for all y'all: Tentacles! Well, no, I also have one statement to make as well: Damn, Tangrowth's poll was a lot closer than I expected! Considering how previous tentacle having Pokemon went, I expected way greater than a 50.4% rating! Still, they're on the list and that's what counts.

12. Another even numbered generation, another batch of Eeveelutions! And first of the two, we have Leafeon at a 55.2% Smash rating! I'm gonna be honest, I don't think this is what they meant by eating salad, but who am I to judge?

13. And of course, right behind Leafeon is Glaceon! Well, I say behind but really, having also been voted 55.2% Smashable, I think it's more like "Right beside". At any rate, I suppose I should also just say I hope Glaceon has enough body heat to prevent a, shall we say, tongue on a frozen flagpoll moment!

14. There is a certain charm to the art of the sword. Whether it's the more elegant and graceful fencing, or the brutal crushing blows of wielding a zweihander, there's something for everyone. And so, some of that charm comes to the Ralts family with the sword-armed Gallade! Unsheathing a powerful 62.4% Smash rating in Standard Form and an improved 64.2% rating as Mega Gallade, this Pokemon also clearly knows the art of seduction...!

15. On the surface, one of the creepier ghosts pokemon has come up with! But deeper down, simply a psychopomp who simply guides lost spirits home! And even further into the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games, A Capital-B Bastard that fans none-the-less can't help but love! Regardless of how you see them, Dusknoir is on the list with a 53.6% Smash rating! Maybe my call to the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon fans worked...

16. Elegant. Beautiful. Inspired by one of the more dangerous youkai in Japanese folklore. This and much more perfectly describes the next member of the Sultans of Smash, Froslass! With a cool 67.9% Smash rating, seems some of y'all are solid for a reason that doesn't involve being frozen.

17. When it comes to time, it just always feels like there's never enough. Never enough, unless you're Dialga, the next name on our list! Clocking in at a brilliant 62.2% rating in its Standard Form and at 51.6% in Origin Form, It seems many of you always have time for Dialga.

18: Are you someone who feels like you never have enough space in your life? Well then maybe you need a little more Palkia in your life! Shining brightly with a 61.6% Smash rating in Standard form and a 53.3% rating in Origin Form, it is apparent that there is always space in your hearts for Palkia.

19: Can't you feel it? The love creeping through your veins-the eldritch presence warming your heart? If the answer is yes, then you may be one of the many, many people who voted for Giratina! Altered Forme alone would have been a major player in the Sultans at an impressive 72.1% Smash rating. But that pales in comparison to Origin Forme's overwhelming 80.2% Smash rating! Puting Giratina in place as only the third Pokemon to have a form match or exceed 80% smash! Very impressive.

20: The moon. Since before history was even written, there have been many qualities associated with our celestial sibling and figures associated with it, and one of those traits has been "Very Attractive", especially where the crescent moon is involved. And according to 54.8% of the votes, Cresselia has definitely inherited that trait! Plus, who wouldn't want to sleep with a bringer of good dreams?

21: But crescent is not the only phase of the moon. Every once in a while, the moon obscures itself, cloaked in the shadows of the new moon phase. And emerging from that shadow is Darkrai and their 71.9% Smash rating! Seems many of y'all are gonna be having a different kind of nightmare... Related, do you think Darkrai would count more as an incubus or a succubus?

22. Last but certainly not least, we have The Alpha of Alphas. The Creator. The Thousand Arms That Built The World. The Pokegod themself, Arceus! With a 74.6% Smash rating and the highest BST of any untransformed Pokemon, Arceus has created a space for themselves in the Sultans of Smash. And yes, we have a reliable source of art for Arceus's other types, polls for them will follow... uh... eventually?

And with that, we have brought the Gen IV Who's Who of Smashing to a close and raised ourselves to a total of 88 Sultans of Smash! Stay tuned, we'll be making more polls sooner than you think!

#pokemon #pokémon #smash or pass #summary #The Pokemon Sultans of Smash

[itsbenedict]

there really should be a standard fake US state. everybody jokes about such-and-such a state not being a real place and made up to confuse foreigners, but it's always actually a real one. we need to come up with a fake state that actually just doesn't exist but we've smoothsharked everyone into accepting as real.

#he says‚ walking through the door on top of which is perched a carefully-balanced bucket of ice water

[dracolunae]

Wow, someone with a german url reblogged my post of people smoothsharking me over whether Leitmotif is German, wrote “Free Blocklist” and then blocked me. WHAT DID I EVEN DO hshdhdhdhd

#lunar lullabies

[l-cereta]

walrus fairy thing is incredible . Worse than the dress . Bc a lot of people who I followed who I took to be at least somewhat smart are just repeating the silliest stupidest talking points possible and doing so confidently as if this will accomplish anything. It’s—like literally the only way I can make sense of it is if every single person is aware that they’re wrong and they’re smoothsharking on purpose but actually I just saw someone try to put together a helpful infographic to explain why the incorrect position is actually right. YOU ARE LIVING A FALSE LIFE!!

[possessedscholar]

Smoothsharking: the act of presenting a false fact as real and continuing to act as if it’s true when someone tries to correct you, specifically when done for comedic effect.

See also: Committing to the Bit.

[olderthannetfic]

re: Goncharov and unreality.

Right so as someone for who similar topics effect me greatly, I want to explain why people are tagging it for some of the other anons.

I want to make this clear- you dont have to tag for anything you dont want to. Its within your right to tag only what you want to tag, even is someone asks you to tag it. Its your blog. TBF original-posting things in community tags its common courtesy to tag certain common warnings, and people might think you're an ass if you dont, but you dont HAVE to tag unreality or spiders or whatever when its fully your own space.

Now, I have seen a lot of people specifically ask for Goncharov to be tagged for a great many reasons. Its not JUST people ~infantilizing the crazies~. Real people are upset by it like any other thing.

Heres the list of reasons:

Psychosis trigger for things that arent real but are being treated like they are. Its a personal reality vs apparent shared reality mismatch and it can cause someone to think they are having a psychotic episode when so may people seem to be treating it as real, or trigger one outright.

Disassociation trigger for things you remember vs things you dont. Its a 'oh no did I forget something important' thing and a bit of a reality mismatch that can cause people to spiral. Unreality is something that both some dissociative and some psychotic people appreciate being tagged because of this. Im heavy dissociative but I dont need it personally- though I know people who do want unreality tagged for this.

Gaslighting ptsd trigger. This is my problem with similar posts like 'smoothsharking'. It feels like you are being gaslit if you ask someone 'hey serious question is this Goncharov thing real' and they stick to the bit and insist it is or if you say 'hey this isnt real?' not getting the joke and they insist it is at you and mock you for it. If you are very sensitive it can feel like every post is gaslighting you, even if its not the intention to do so. I know we all love making gaslighting jokes on this website, but its a real serious thing actually and people do have triggers for it they appreciate getting tagged.

Autistic and dont get jokes sometimes. If you dont already know its a funny lie people like telling and you correct them and get mocked for it, it fucking sucks actually! Letting people know its Just Jokes helps avoid this. Ive checked the notes for unreality/joke explanations many times for this reason. And people do that 'joyless asshole who hates fun and has to correct you being wrong' screenshot at you when you didnt even know they were doing a joke and just wanted to help and its mean as all hell and similar jokes can upset you thereafter because you remember getting mocked for days about it.

They just find it Fucking Annoying and are asking to tag it because of that. Their dash is just filled with shit they dont care about. Its courteous to tag the fandoms of things you post, as least do that.

Not everyone who dissociate or is autistic or has gaslighting related ptsd is going to need it tagged, but some do, and thats why.

Still up to you to tag, but its not completely without reason for someone to decide to tag it. Some of us crazies DO appreciate it.

--

Explaining a joke kills it. That's the main reason a lot of people are never going to do so, but also, somebody else always will.

[bpdmoster]

Hi. Santa Claus is not real.

There's this like. annual category of post I see on this website where the userbase of grown adults will, en masse, pretend that Santa is real ('santa believers' vs 'santa deniers' and chad vs incel type memes). This is the smoothsharking part; knowing that something is not true but insisting with unyielding false sincerity that it is true.

The reason I experience this as a microaggression is: I'm Jewish. Christmas, despite what gentiles insist, is not in fact a universal secular cultural experience. It's a Christian holiday. I don't celebrate it. My whole life, because I live in a Christian-majority country, I have nonetheless had it forced upon me in ostensibly secular spaces (like public school). This experience is both alienating, and functionally a mainstream form of proselytizing. It's a miniaturized version of a door-to-door missionary, cheerfully informing you, unprompted, that Christianity is of course the one "true" religion.

From the point of view of gentiles, these Santa posts are just a silly fun thing and don't mean much. Since celebrating Christmas is a mainstream tradition to which these users belong, the idea that the meaning would be different for, say, a Jewish person, does not occur to them. This is why, unintentional though it is, insisting Santa is real constitutes a microaggression. It's a broad exclusion of Jewish people (and other members of minority religions) from...well, reality itself!

Instead of being a fun, culture-specific mythological figure, the broad-strokes approach inherent to these types of casual humor posts has a pretty grim knock-on effect if you happen to be outside the category of human that has, like, fond Santa-related memories.

What does it actually mean, if "Santa is real?" Like, putting aside asinine jokes about math and physics. Let's get philosophical for a second here: Santa, mythologically, gives presents to all the good kids of the world. Jewish children do not get presents from Santa. Therefore, if Santa is real, and Jewish children do not receive presents from him, then...Jewish children are...bad?

And that's just speaking from personal experience. I'm not going to speak for members of other minority religions; or, for that matter, for Christian children who are too poor to receive 'presents from Santa'!

I know this is an extremely long response, and more likely than anything to solicit a bunch of really horrendous trolls grinning from ear to ear insisting that Santa is real / just a bit of fun, that I should get the stick out of my ass or whatever. Because, you know. These sorts of people are unable to conceptualize experiences outside of their own.

But, you asked, so I thought I'd try to answer.

#violet-rose-95

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

!!! Someone else who gets just about triggered by 'smoothsharking' of any kind.

Like im autistic and I dont get jokes like that well because im bad at 'lying as humor' and all smoothsharking sounds like to me is 'haha person who doesnt get a joke time to gaslight them instead of explaining the joke!'. It sounds like ableism dressed up pretty and fine because its a meme.

Id argue it IS gaslighting because its intentionally insisting to another person that something is what it isnt. The effect is just about the same as gaslighting, even if they dont explicitly intend to make us doubt reality.

Id see people post 'of course being mean to people who doing get jokes is wrong, always explain the joke uwu' and like 5 posts later do a smoothshark so many times its unreal.

The joke is explicitly meant to come at autistic folks ('its to make fun of joyless assholes who insist on correcting you about things, especially jokes because they arent accurate') like thats literally autistic folks... do they not realize?

The joke isnt explicitly meant to attack those who have problems staying firmly in reality (dissociative or psychotic issues and such), but it is VERY unfriendly to them.

Its just so frustrating to try to explain or ever talk about this or even talk about things in a very serious context and have 500 people come smoothshark you on purpose even though they know it upsets you.

Its vile. The joke is just ableism and im just so tired of it. I dont feel safe seeing those fucking jokes I wish it would die already.

The person who started it had good intentions probably, but what its become is just socially acceptable ableist abuse.

Hmm. I'm not sure I entirely agree? I'm pretty firmly in the camp of "don't attribute things to malice when negligence will do". I think this joke was likely *meant* to be wielded against "people who absolutely need to have the last word". That....unfortunately includes a lot of people who aren't as likely to understand they have the option to bow out of the encounter. This is not a recipe for happy times for anyone. I'm...not really interested in litigating who's experience of being collaterol damage to comedy is worse/more immediate on this one.

But yeah, I think that the total devotion to the bit created some real conflicting access needs around the bit that did not need to be there. And I definitely experienced (and saw) people using it on purpose in ways that seemed really intentionally mean spirited rather than collectively entertaining. This was a bad combination because, as always, it very easily made "why can't you take a joke" a plausibly deniable dismissal of any time the bit was taken too far or used cruelly. Good cover for those who rely on social conventions to escape consequences for doing harm.

[sergeantsporks]

AT really be out here smoothsharking people, hell yeah. also, petition to give silver rsd? (noooo, this toooootally isnt projection, why do you ask?) -hypeman

AT is a master of manipulation (confusing someone until they agree with him)

Are we talking Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy?

#asks #gilded family au #toh