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#so I don't want to bother you guys
adammilligan · 2 years
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when adam says "no, john winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. i don't have a dad" like yes SIR get his ass
#i have so many thoughts about adam and kate and their dynamic with john and it's mainly that#obviously anything about john said by the ghoul has to be taken with a whole handful of salt. obviously#because it was actively trying to manipulate sam and dean#but when the ghoul said that younger adam bugged kate 24/7 to call john i believe it. just because it makes sense#he was young! he wanted to know who his dad was. and that's understandable#and the fact that adam HAD to beg 24/7 for kate to call him....i think kate knew something was off about john#i really do. and the fact that john only showed up on adam's birthdays and only ever took him out to baseball games#which are very crowded very PUBLIC places where anything can be observed by bystanders#i think kate set that up as well. without adam's knowledge#but adam eventually grew disillusioned with john as well because from a kid's perspective#who's had to watch his mother work herself to death to support the both of them#john WAS a douchebag who only ever came around to try and fail to play house#he didn't bother trying to raise adam he didn't pay child support he didn't do ANYTHING#he just showed up pretended to act like a father and then left. and adam and kate were left there still#with their bills. with adam still having to raise himself. with kate still working the night shift and breaking her back to support them#it makes me think about how it affects adam in the future. like his behavior#because adam as we've seen has always tried to look at things from different perspectives and hear people out#in 5x18 he was like okay i'll hear you guys out even though i don't like you. give me one good reason#and in 15x08 he advocates for sam and dean even though he doesn't want to. he talks michael#but it's so interesting to me. because the line that's always gotten me about 15x08 is 'you still care about that? after he left you in the#cage?'#and it's like. adam IS genuinely trying to understand where michael's coming from. he DOES understand michael's love for his father#but when concerning the father it's like#he DOES tend to be black and white about it. john was a shitty person so therefore he's not his dad#god is a shitty person who left michael in the cage therefore michael shouldn't care what he thinks. or about him in general#et cetera et cetera#the issue of the father is the one issue that adam is black and white about. and that is to say fuck them we don't need them#it's SOOOO interesting to me. really#kate rambles#adam milligan
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solar-nightengale · 15 days
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Hi, I’m new in this tag kinda and new to meta-writing overall, but not only is the August brain rot really strong but one particular part of his entire character has been on my mind for a whole weekend. Please take this as mostly an offering of very spilled thoughts cause I couldn't keep them to myself anymore, LMAO. Particularly the thing that's on my brain is his guilt
I would also like to make note of and thank @ lizardthelizard And her glorious set of tags here for setting off my spiral tonight and also when she first sent them because my goodness this is truly an eye-opener. Thank you, buddy 💖
Gosh though, August’s guilt and self-criticism of himself and his actions is something that really fascinates me personally, and just thinking of it being the cause of what turns him back to wood is both mind-blowing but it just makes so much sense. He may be real because of magic but who’s to say it’s just the magical conditions that are holding him back and not the high as heck expectations that he feels were set for him and he set up for himself.
When it feels like you can't mess up sometimes it can feel like you're stuck in place Or that your screw ups means you can't change, that you're not good, that maybe you don't deserve to be considered good and that your various flaws are all that others would see you FOR!!
Maybe it's different to anxiety but idk it’s what caught my attention about him even more than what his character already offered up in s1!
He was given this like 
Idea that he needs to be "Brave" and "Truthful" and "Selfless" all the time or else he cannot be human 
Does it work like that? no, there's no human on EARTH that's all three of those things all the time, we've all had moments of weakness and gave in 
But what does he know? Most of his life he spent on his own and as a puppet, he was expected to understand the ways of being a human and GOODNESS knows how short a time he was with his dad before he was THRUST into a world and forced once again to stand on his own two feet and expected to just, you know, know how to act once again 
He's followed by expectations that he finds himself struggling to meet because he doesn't know what the limit is or how to meet them, and sometimes if not all of the times the temptations are just better and easier 
And it's expected!!!
He stepped into TLWM as a child with no idea of what he’s getting into with no prior knowledge, no adult, no nothing.
But omg, he drags himself down so much about it because he can’t meet those expectations the way he would want to and because of that because literally who did he have to tell him that it's all okay? That you can make mistakes and move on from them? That you can make up for your mistakes and forgive yourself for them?
Did he have anyone at all? Cause The show sure didn't show him having anyone
We see one woman in Thailand but even after he discovers he's turning into wood she's no longer around, so like she's probably about as fleeting of a relationship as anything else
Imagine going 28 years at first ignoring all your problems and then the horror and thoughts that you’re not good enough catch up to you one morning and the more you see yourself a failure, the more you sink into that spiral the harder it feels to breathe.
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softle0 · 10 days
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📩 Simblr question of the day: Who's your biggest inspiration/s on Simblr? Mention them! Tell us why you like them!
omg this is embarrasing to me because half of them doesn't even know me but... I guess it's my time to send some love!!! Honestly I love a lot of simmers and their work is so cute!!
For builders I love @midsummermoon20 @florwal @moonwoodmillz @vartosa and @folkling @bobnewbie @machinegrl so much! their styles are unique and so beautiful they inspire me so much when I'm building 💗
For storytelling @stellarfalls @bubblepopsims @fl0ptrait and @estah (who we miss so fucking much) are my go to!!! ❤️❤️
For CAS I love @afrolatinotrait @birdietrait @madfeary @fl0ptrait @kashisun their sims are always the best looking ones, they inspire me so much to keep creating new sims ❤️
Lastly I'd love to mention @northernsiberiawinds for making the best cc ever, @farfallasims because everything she does is so fucking good, @quietwaters inspire me so much, her reshade and all of her cc it's so good, @awingedllama as well, her nostaliga cc it's the best thing that has happend to me frrr and @aashwarr and @largetaytertots for having the best simblr channels ever, they're so funny and entertaining to watch, I'm always laughing at their videos!!
I could mention like 50 blogs more but I don't want to bother any more people tbh 😭😭😭 There are so much talented people in this community that is impossible to mention all of them. So I'm very thankful for all of them and all the creativity they bring to this game, it's absolutely amazing ❤️
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naomiknight-17 · 1 month
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Maybe gargle my cock and balls
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ghostie-gengar · 8 months
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news flash! three more teenagers want ghetsis dead
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Rosa May had a peaceful and unassuming life at her ranch near Floccesy Town, at least, until Team Plasma took over. It was one thing after the other, and then her best friend Hugh was wrongfully arrested! This is the last straw for her, so she decides to go rescue him, befriending local musical artist Roxie along the way. Rosa May is quite shy, and really doesn't want to hurt anyone, so she can't help but feel overwhelmed as she's slowly being dragged into something...legendary.
I hope she knows that she isn't alone and that she can rely on her friends...
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mitamicah · 2 months
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Sad Micah hours. Yay.
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lesamis · 1 month
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📠
one thing i like about the new job is that public service really drives home how diverse and interesting any random sample of people actually is. you kind of can't keep thinking that there's one single way in which ordinary life typically goes when you're dropped into the middle of other people's lives on a daily basis. like within two weeks at a public service job in the most boring town imaginable someone will come in and be like hi i'm blind, can i have some adjustments for my advanced degree. hi my grandmother died, can i have an extension. hi i moved here from taiwan literally two months ago and misunderstood some instructions, can i repeat this process. hi i'm competing at the olympics, can i put my studies on hold.
there's just this certain kind of rhetoric that wants to make you belive that A Normal Person is this or that and their life goes this or that way, when really there's no limit to the chaos of human experience or to the endlessly new-shuffled variations of Circumstances and i'd defy anyone who believes otherwise to keep believing it after one day in public service
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p5x-theories · 3 months
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I mean, how many characters have models that you haven’t posted yet? Bc I would like to see all of the models but if there’s a ton then I wouldn’t ask that of you
To be clear, literally every character in the game has one or more 3D models. Every single NPC, those faceless people that you walk by/through while walking through the city, every playable character (and every outfit they have; every single one of Wonder's outfit options), every shadow, every Persona, etc. The game's all 3D models (with 2D images over them making up the UI and portraits), and the files are where those 3D models and 2D images are stored, so quite literally, anything you see in the game is somewhere in the files, and something I could theoretically extract for you.
There's also a ton of stuff in the files that doesn't show up in the game (yet?), like 3D models and portraits for a bunch of the Confidants and Palace rulers in P5. Even stuff you only see for a few seconds, like the table and tea set that appears for Noir during her AOA finisher in the split second before it swaps to the 2D image people usually think of for her AOA, have their own 3D models.
So I appreciate that you're not asking me for all of them, haha!
I just focus on posting the interesting things and the new stuff; new portraits for main characters, 3D models for civilian outfits of the Phantom Idols that we haven't really gotten to see, characters indicated as future Phantom Thieves/Idols, stuff like that. And then if anyone asks me for specific stuff outside of that, I don't mind going back for it, because I noted down where everything is in the (massively disorganized) files, so it theoretically shouldn't take me too long to hunt down the pieces for any given character and put them together to post.
All that to say, I try to post the things that I know myself and others are probably most interested in seeing. You're not really missing much in the rest of the files, unless, for instance, there's a sidequest NPC or something you have a particular interest in and want to see the full portraits/model for.
#anonymous#I think the only models I grabbed just because *I* thought they were fun and wasn't going to bother posting#are the nameless kokatsu students that play instruments in the background with wonder during the music minigame#they are quite literally nameless. their files don't even have a name or nickname for them they're just student_drum and etc#posting the portraits and models is also kind of tedious though not difficult#because the portraits are broken up into a head base + a bunch of eyes + a bunch of mouths + a mask where applicable#so I have to put those files back together and layer them correctly to give you a complete portrait#and 3d models need 2d textures to show up as anything but featureless grey#so for those I have to hunt down all the 3d model pieces (hair face eyes body. usually) and then match up all their textures to them#it's a lot of work haha!#but I don't mind it too much because I know most people don't really know how to get into the files and do it themselves#in fact I learned *for* the sake of datamining p5x!#I basically haven't done anything but sort through files. watch gameplay. and put things together to post. since the beta started haha#my life sort of goes on hold (as much as possible) each beta until I'm done with the files so I can get them posted asap!#but this is partially because *I* want to see them as bad as you guys do haha#so uh. yeah! that's probably way more of an answer than you wanted but that's the true reality of the work going into this behind the scene
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stillcominback · 9 months
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𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙲𝚃'𝚂 𝙸𝙽: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!
i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.
i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a ✨no✨.
i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.
plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.
ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... 😤 but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda
SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! ❤️
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simgerale · 1 year
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ; 2/3
TRANSCRIPT:
magdalena: Thank you for the dance. And, I suppose, for the history lesson.
luca: No need. I should apologize, both for my childlike cowardice and the lack of remorse I have shown for almost ending it all.\
m: Do not concern yourself further, your highness. The past is the past.
. . .
l: You know, Empress… We were going to be engaged before the war started.
m: And how do you know that?
l: Our fathers discussed it during our visit, and I may have listened in. According to Emperor Orion, I was a ‘strapping young man’ and he wanted to secure me for his eldest daughter.
m: You are lying. My father would never describe you as strapping.
l: And what would I earn for lying, your majesty?
m: An ego, perhaps?
l: [sighs dramatically] Oh, if only you realized that I was telling the truth! Then you could feel like it was fate that brought us together all along!
m: [glances back] Who said that I do not believe in fate?
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hanzajesthanza · 2 years
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"is it a bad time for advice?" "as a matter of fact, it is. it'd be nice if you'd leave me to my thoughts. and apologize for disturbing me." "i apologize. the private conversations with the self are, after all, invaluable and sacred. but i would still like to present you with some humble advice: you're quickly approaching hypothermia."
angoulême model by @witcherscreenshotsdump 💖
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wild-at-mind · 11 months
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(this is about trans stuff)
Probably need to get counselling about the fact that I’m so scared that my hormone balance is my personality.
#the cycle#so like i tend to associate my feelings with the Cycle position (menstral) that i happen to be in#so i feel strong and confiden and vivacious? upswing towards ovulation#sad and delicate? downswing towards menstruation#just being biologically essentialist or whatever some people say#thing is a lot of stuff about the effect of trans related HRT can read a little :/ if you're not feeling it#so the obvious example is gendercritical assholes saying trans women talking about feeling more emotional after starting hrt is misogyny#i actually think being emotional is not a bad thing tbh so they are tipping their own hands there#and also actually a lot of trans women seem to associate this change with positive things#but i'm talking about the way people talk about testosterone#a lot of people talk about the effects like it totally changed their personality tbh even if they don't realise it#it's scary like are our personalities our hormones????#someone on this ftm group i'm on said they were having difficulty forming romantic connections with people after a couple of years on T#and people were like 'well you're just aromantic it's fine! oh you weren't before HRT? well this is what your true#authentic self is then don't worry about it!'#like to be clear it was unclear from the post whether this guy needed reassurance that being aromantic is normal#or if he was bothered by it and wanted to change it#if first then the responses are fine#but if 2nd then .....wtf are the implications of this? is our sexuality and romantic inclination ALSO our hormones???#i don't think i'm wrong or crazy to feel weird about the idea of my personality changing and that my hormomes might be effecting it#kind of like how my personality is always shaped by depression and/or medication i'm taking for it#but it's scary like i only just got to know this brain i can't change it i'm FREAKING OUT#i feel like other trans people wouldn't want to talk to me about this because it sounds like i'm saying transphobic talking points. :(#but i really am scared of my personality changing.#if i go on t that is#can anyone talk to me about this on here?
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bravest-notts · 2 years
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time is truly a flat circle in that i am already seeing the same exact fan-crowdsourced-next-episode-planning that i did after molly's death, the same wild reaches, the conspiratorial thinking, and the immediate denial reactions
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r0bee · 24 days
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Steps to reading posts about Euphrasia:
1) I start reading the post
2) It is actually about morro
3) I immediately lose all interest in the post and stop reading
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nandysparadox · 5 months
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its december 1st ! :D
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ghost-of-someone · 1 year
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literally just saw some radfem bullshit on my dash, & then when I went to their blog to block them not only was it full of anti-trans half arguments & accusations of other people being childish, but one of the very first posts was about how a certain show would be better if one of the main characters was a young woman instead of an old man because they "don't like old people"
#there is no point to this other than i'm pissed and tired of having terf bullshit pass my dash#i feel like i'm gonna have to get that eye thing because i don't super vet the blogs i interact with casually#so as long as they're not immediately anti queer i usually don't notice#and then i've got fucking radfem shit in my 'based on your likes' feed#all because i interacted with feminism stuff that - without the anti-trans lens - seemed totally fine#& like terfs are already shitty people but i feel like the anti older person sentiment just further highlighted the fact that#terfs are just shitty hypocrytical people who play the 'poor me boo hoo you're all childish' card & act like they're so fucking superior#& that any trans folks are terrible#and then turn around and spout all kinds of bigotry#but it's okay i guess because they've got a vagina <3 (& experience the exact same kind of misogyny that tons of us do but they're special)#ALSO#I learned what 'moid' means and you guys are fucking assholes#men are not just mindless sex freaks you fucking cunts#& the fact that you think that just shows how warped your sense of the world is#you 'hate the patriarchy' but aren't interested in actually dismantling it#how could you when you don't even view half of the people involved as really human!#fuck off#terfs and radfems aren't welcome here and you can all kick rocks#i try my best for this to be a queer friendly space and i want that to be clear right fucking now#if anyone who follows me has bothered to read this please let me know if i've accidentally reblogged something from the 'drop the t' crowd#i am not the golden standard queer or whatever the fuck the term is#but i dont ever want someone to think that i'm part of that crowd
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