#so im fine w maybe not making as much art as i did in years past

[wuntrum]

art vs artist for 2023!

#my art #posting a rare selfie. everyone be nice #definitely been a weird year for me art wise. but ive made a lot of stuff i like looking back! #wanna do a full video overview . think thatd be fun #but also this year was a good year for me in a lot of other ways #so im fine w maybe not making as much art as i did in years past

[smoshyourheadin]

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

#spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew #smosh #smoshyourheadin #angela giarratana #amanda lehan canto #arasha lalani #courtney miller #shayne topp

[actualbird]

God I agree so hard with you on the afterstories. I get what they were trying to do with them as a sweet ending to take the sting off the main story but it just cheapens the story so much!! I don't feel relief when reading about how they miraculously survived, I just kind of feel frustrated because the afterstory just really doesn't earn that relief at all.

I'd have preferred if they turned the afterstory into an actual additional part of the main story detailing how the boys survived because at least then it'd have a better chance of landing since it's more developed than just "oh yeah don't worry about it I got out fine :)". Or if they really wanted to keep it an afterstory...I don't know, maybe a reunite in the afterlife thing? It's also cliche but at least it doesn't cheapen the story as much by magically undoing the tragedy of the story.

Of course, ideally they'd stick to their guns and just end the story where it's supposed to end without any afterstory. Maybe I could understand the need for a fluffier epilogue for the other AU cards which could catch players not expecting angst off guard since the art doesn't give anything away but for Enduring Light's set of cards? Every single card has the boys looking badly beat up or in a bad situation for Luke, I'd be surprised if anyone pulled for the cards not expecting heavy angst.

I think in the end I just act as if the afterstories are non-canon, and considering during the secret chats some of the boys talk about their card counterparts as if they did die I think that might be what the devs intended too. I do still think the stories told in the AU cards are generally good from what little I've read, I just wish they'd commit that tiny bit more to telling a tragedy when they want to.

🌌

irt my thoughts on marius and luke's enduring light cards

wahhh hi hi milkyway anon!! glad im not the only one hehe cuz I AGREE WITH ALL THIS

the thing i most most agree with is if they took the "actual additional part of the main story detailing how the boys survived" approach to the afterstory, i wouldve Loved that. for luke's in particular his recovery seems like suCH AN INTERESTING STORY IN ITSELF HELLO??? he was fished outta the ocean and injured so badly that his recovery took a whole year???? i wanna read that!! i wanna read about him coming to terms with his injuries (and maybe even disability because you dont get out of an Exploding Airplane Crash unscathed. in my mind he had to get a limb amputated (hi chika if youre out there reading this ask you have infected me with the "amputate luke" hc) or at the very least cannot walk for a solid period of time after the accident. oh, and ptsd of course) and how he copes with all this

all in all, my dissatisfaction with the inclusion of the afterstories in this set of cards seems to show a pattern for my dissatisfaction with other tot cards i didnt vibe with: they were all (even partly) caused by tot's dedication to the format of their cards rather than the story within it

why didnt i like ssr looming nightmare? 6 acts were not enough to flesh out mc's side of the story, given that it was her nightmare. alas, 6 acts are all we get for regular ssr cards

why didnt i like ssr orange scent? 3 acts were NOWHERE near enough space for luke to be able to get over his fears and propose to mc. alas, 3 acts is all we get for anniv ssr cards

why didnt i like this bit of ssr sky ashes? because the existence of the afterstory undermines the tragedy's tragedy-ing. alas, afterstories are a staple of big event ssr cards

like.....i get that tot has to be consistent in their format for types of cards but it makes me sad to see when that consistency actively does the card story a disservice. these stories could be homeruns! if they were treated as the priority and not something to shove into a template that must be followed

anyhoo, it's nice to see im not the only one w iffy feelings abt the afterstories. i still liked sky ashes and im going your route about it by mentally editing the afterstory to be a recovery story instead of a fluff fix-all

thanks for the ask!!

#why dont i like the post anniv personal stories as much as pre-anniv? beCAUSE THE FORMAT DOESNT ALLOW SPACE FOR THE STORY TO #BECOME OVER-ARCHING!!!! TOT UR FORMATS R KILLING ME #asks #milkyway!anon

[magnus-falafelking]

OOC (fierrochase high school au fic im starting)

FIERROCHASE BAND AU

Chapter 1

Blue Jolly Ranchers Rock

“Come on, Magnus, it won’t be that bad. It’s just a school.” 

“I was homeschooled my whole life, Annabeth. This is bad.” I crossed my arms.

Annabeth Chase smiled serenely, “I promise you it’s not. You’ll make new friends and stuff.”

“I thought you were gonna introduce me to your friends,” I raised an eyebrow.

“I am,” Annabeth hesitated, “But you should make other friends as well.”

“Hmph,” Was all I said to this. What I really wanted to do was ask Annabeth if she was embarrassed by her weird cousin with chin-length unkempt blonde hair. Oh right, I reminded myself, that’s me. I looked up at the big bricked building. I definitely did not want to be here. After my mom, Natalie Chase died, I went to live with my cousin Annabeth, her father, and step-family. 

I was thankful for them of course, but I always hated the pitied looks from my relatives. 

My mom was dead and that was that. End of discussion. Don’t feel sorry. It’s fine.

“Come on, Mags, we gotta get to the front office to get your schedule and meet your guide,” Annabeth said, starting up the sidewalk to the front door.

Her words sent panic flowing through my system.

“Wait, what guide?” I asked, stopping my cousin by grabbing her arm.

Annabeth sighed and yanked away from me gently, “I forgot to tell you, I’m not gonna be showing you around the place. I can’t, I’ve got an algebra test first period!” Annabeth looked at me with, sorry Magnus, work always comes first because I'm such a nerd, but you’ll survive!! still sorry though! grey eyes. Grey eyes were pretty much a Chase family trademark. Mine were the same shade.

“It’s fine,” I muttered. And maybe it was. Maybe the guide would be totally cool. I’d be friends with them and I would have a not-so-horrible first day. Or maybe the guide would be a total jerk and I would have a miserable day.

It was a 50-50 chance.

Unfortunately, I had no choice but to take the chance.

Annabeth swung the door open and I saw an old lady secretary sitting behind a computer, typing away.

The lady smiled when she saw Annabeth, “Good morning, Ms. Chase,” she said to her.

“Morning, Mrs. Davidson!” Annabeth said and then whispered to me, “Get on her good side. She’s got a whole jar of blue jolly ranchers on her desk.” 

“Uh,” I started my sentence in a very cool, impressive way, “Morning,” I said to the old lady.

“You must be Magnus Chase, our new student,” Mrs. Davidson glanced at me once before pulling open the desk drawer and pulling out a slip of paper—my schedule.

“Here you go,” she handed me the paper and peered at me over her glasses, “Welcome to Half Blood High.”

Chapter 2

Samirah Studies me Like I’m Her History Textbook

As a new student, I certainly did not get the fresh pick of classes for my sophomore year.

Biology, Algebra, Geography, English, PE, and Spanish

Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, and boring.

And then for my elective, I got…art?

Art. Magnus Chase and art? I was sure the people who arranged this schedule were messing with me. 

I would’ve much preferred choir or something. I liked to sing. And I was actually sort of good at it.

I didn’t have anything against art, I just kinda sucked at it. 

I guessed I’d have to get over the sucking if I wanted to pass.

My mother, however, was great at art. She’d paint me pictures every birthday, and hang them on my bedroom wall.

By the time I was 13, 13 painted pictures were hanging above my bed.

And now there were none. All the paintings were burned in the fire. Along with Natalie Chase.

I turned to Annabeth.

“Where my guide?” I asked.

“She should be- “

The office door swung open.

A girl with dark olive skin ran in. She wore a green hijab, jeans, a dark purple hoodie, and black sneakers. She wore an exhausted expression.

“Sorry I’m late,” the girl panted, and then her eyes met mine, “You must be Magnus,” She sighed.

“Uh, yeah,” I cleared my throat, “Hey.”

The girl looked at me like she was trying to figure me out.

Good luck! I wanted to tell her. I can’t figure me out myself!

“I’ll be your guide. My name’s Samirah,” she finally said, “But call me Sam.”

“Cool. You can uh, call me Magnus,” I stammered.

Sam laughed, which meant she thought I was funny, or an idiot.

The second option was probably the one.

“Well Magnus,” Sam glanced back up at me, “I guess I should start showing you around.”

After about an hour of a tour from Sam, I got a pretty good idea of the place.

“Any questions?” Sam asked when we returned to the main foyer. 

How do I get out of this? But I didn’t actually say that. I asked my brain, which didn’t have an answer. What an unhelpful brain.

“No,” I cleared my throat, “Thanks for uh, showing me around.”

“No problem,” She said, “It’s about to be lunchtime so we should get to the cafeteria,” Sam started down the hall.

“Oh. Yeah, okay,” I followed behind Sam.

I wondered if I’d get to meet Annabeth’s friends. From what I had heard, they were kind of popular at school and were really nice. 

I had already met her boyfriend, Percy Jackson, who was super cool and was on the swim team.

But there was also Jason, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Nico, and Will, who were mysteries to me.

I also wondered if they were too cool for me. Which was cringey, but just how I felt. I wondered what Annabeth had told them about me.

And ultimately, if I were to join the group, 9 was an odd number.

Woah. I was kinda jumping the gun. 

I hadn’t even meant them yet and I was worrying about being a ninth wheel?

Calm down, Magnus, I told myself.

“Magnus?”

Someone else said my name.

It was Sam, who had stopped walking and turned to face me.

“You okay?” She asked.

“I’m- yeah im good.” 

I wondered why she cared. Sam was nice, but she’d only just met me.

Sam considered me, her brown eyes interlocking with my grey ones. 

Now, usually if I were to make such serious eye contact with a cute girl, I’d be a complete mess. But Sam looked at me with eyes that were narrow and accusing. 

“I’m trying to figure you out, Magnus Chase. This whole time, you’ve barely said anything to me. Are you sure you’re fine?” 

I hesitated but quickly nodded. I jumped as the loud bell rang.

A look of realization came over Sam’s face.

“Are you nervous?” She asked.

Embarrassment washed over me.

“Uh, I don’t know,” I said.

“Ok. So you’re nervous. I get it. First day can be hard. But Half Blood High is a relatively open minded and friendly place.”

“Relatively?”

“You just…have to look out for the right people is all,” Sam’s expression softened.

I could tell she was one of the right people.

“Thanks, Sam.”

“Now let’s go to lunch.”

“Annabeth!” I spotted her by her curly blonde hair.

She was walking into the cafeteria with Percy and pretty cocoa haired girl with light brown skin.

Annabeth glanced at me wore a tight smile and gave me a small wave.

I told Sam thanks and bye, and waked up to Annabeth.

“Is this Magnus?” The girl beside Annabeth asked.

Annabeth sighed, “Yep. Piper meet my cousin, Magnus Chase. Magnus, meet my best friend, Piper McLean.”

“Sup,” I said to Piper.

“Sup,” Piper smirked.

“Sup,” Percy added in, giving me a fist bump.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. She grabbed my arm and led me into the cafe, Percy and Piper following right behind.

Annabeth led me to a circle table in the middle of the cafe where 5 other students sat.

She pointed her finger at each of them and told me their names.

The dude Piper sat next to was Jason Grace. He was a tall guy with short, straight blonde hair and glasses. He had a small scar on his upper lip and greeted me with a small smile. 

Next to Jason, sat Leo Valdez. He had light brown skin and dark but wide eyes that seemed to have a spark in them. 

“Uh uh uh,” Leo interrupted Annabeth, “Not just Leo Valdez. I’m Leo Valdez bad boy supreme.”

Annabeth just sighed.

“If Calypso was here she’d agree!”

Next to Leo was Will Solace, who seemed like a ray of sunshine with his tousled curly blonde hair and cheeks littered with freckles. He smiled at me and waved.

Nico di Angelo leaned against Will’s shoulder. He looked at me with dark calculating eyes. The look wasn’t so much hatred, as it was how Sam looked at me a few minutes ago.

Speaking of Sam, I wondered where she sat. My eyes darted around and saw Sam sitting with a red haired girl, an African American guy, and a muscular guy. They were laughing, joking and smiling and having a good time. They seemed nice. 

But I turned back to Annabeth’s friends.

“Okay well that’s everyone. Hazel and Frank aren’t here right now. They’re at a Save Our Strays meeting. Bye now,” Annabeth told me.

Bye?

“I thought I was-“ 

Annabeth gave him a warning look but with a bit of exasperation.

“Go sit with Sam,” she told me.

A rush of irritation flowed through me.

I went to sit with Sam.

“Oh! Hey there Magnus,” Sam was surprised as I set my lunch bag down.

“Can I sit here?” I asked her.

“Of course,” Sam pulled out the chair for me and then turned to her friends, “This is Magnus Chase.”

“The guy you were showing around? Aka the reason you were absent in calculus this morning and I couldn’t copy off of ya?” The girl with curly red hair asked Sam with a smirk.

“Yep,” Sam replied and then introduced me to all her friends.

The red haired smirking girl was Mallory Keen.

The muscular guy who seemed to be close with Mallory was Halfborn Gunderson. He held up an hand and waved at me.

The African American guy with short girly brown hair and light eyes was T.J.

As I sat down and said hi to them, I noticed an object sticking out of Mallory’s book bag. It looked like a…

“Mallory,” I started, my eyebrows raised, “What’s that?” I asked.

Mallory looked from me to the knife.

“Oops,” she stuffed the knife in a different pocket so that it was hidden, “Silly me.”

Silly me?

“What were you gonna uh, use that for?” I pressed.

“Just a precaution,” Mallory assured me, “Sometimes us girls have to take certain precautions,” And she ended the conversation with a one syllable laugh.

“There’s so many people transferring to Half Blood High,” T.J told me, “First you and now Sam’s…”

“Brother.” Sam finished after a bit of consideration.

I thought about that. Why would Sam attend Half Blood High but her brother is just now transferring?

Sam seemed to read my mind.

“He’s my half brother. He just got out of a…situation and moved here,” Sam shifted uncomfortably.

I nodded. I understood situations very well.

“Anyways,” Sam cleared her throat, “We’ll get to that tomorrow.”

“Where’s your schedule?” T.J then asked, “We should see if you have any classes with us.”

I dug in my somehow already unorganized book sack and pulled out my schedule.

“Cool! We’ve got calculus together!” Mallory pointed at his second period class and glanced at Sam, who was also in that class.

“Thank god,” I muttered.

I really didn’t want to go through 10th grade calculus alone.

“We’ve got PE,” Halfborn noticed.

With his muscles, I would’ve assumed Halfborn was on the football team or something like that. But he wasn’t and that’s fine. That just meant I wouldn’t endure physical torture alone either.

“And we’ve got history together along with Sam and Halfborn,” T.J smiled at me.

“Cool,” I nodded and picked up my schedule.

I ate my sandwich as I watched Mallory and Sam get into a deep conversation about alternative bands. 

“You like twenty one pilots?” I asked when she mentioned them.

“Yeah. I also like Weezer and The Killers,” I told her, unscrewing the cap on my Gatorade bottle.

“Me too,” Sam smiled.

“Oh great. Now they’re going to geek out.,” Mallory sighed.

“Now,” Sam looked at me with a glint in her eyes, “Blue Album, Green Album, or Teal Album?”

“Oh, Blue Album all the-“

The bell rang.

We groaned.

“Well, I’ve gotta get to English. You better hurry, Magnus. The art room is upstairs,” Sam informed me.

So I rushed to my class.

Chapter 3

Nico Di Angelo is a Dam Good Artist

“Sorry…I’m…late,” Magnus said between tired breaths.

“It’s only your first day, Chase. I’ll let it slide,

The teacher, Mr Blitz, told him. He was a stout man with dark skin, long dreads and an interesting fashion sense.

I studied the room and I found an empty seat next to one of Annabeth’s friends, Nico di Angelo.

He looked at me with the same dark eyes he had given me at lunch.

I sat down next to him.

It was the only open seat.

“Today, class, you will be continuing the portrait project,” Mr Blitz told them, “For those of you who have just joined us, you will draw a portrait of someone special in your life. Now, get started and get creative!”

I grabbed a sheet of blank sketch paper from off the counter and started to sketch the shape of a head. 

Though, I wasn’t sure whatever shape I drew sufficed as a head but it would have to do.

I glanced over at Nico, who was working on two portraits. One was visibly a girl, the other a boy. If there was anything Nico was, it was a dam good artist.

He seemed to have finish the boy before the girl, because I could tell who the boy was— Will Solace. 

From their body language at lunch, I wondered if they were together. 

“Are you judging my art?” A gritted voice spoke.

I looked up. Nico was glaring at me.

“I- well- um- you see-“ I spluttered.

“I’m kidding,” one side of Nico’s mouth upturned ever so slightly, “I like to joke.”

I couldn’t tell with the way Nico presented himself as dark and brooding. I guess all that “Don’t judge a book by its cover” crap pays off.

“Your portraits are good,” I told Nico, glancing back down at them.

“Thanks. I’m going to give this one to Will,” Nico said, gesturing to the finished product.

Nico had a slight Italian accent that was very prominent when he said his i’s, making “Will” sound like “weel”.

“Is- is Will your…” I left the words hanging, hoping Nico would finish for me. He did.

“My boyfriend,” He raised an eyebrow, “Yeah. He is”

Nico seemed the defensive with these words.

I, personally had no problems with information. Boy dates a boy, girl dates a girl. Whatever. It didn’t matter. 

But from how uptight Nico seemed about the subject, I assumed he’d gotten judged in the past.

So I said, “That’s cool.” 

Nico relaxed. “Yeah. It is.”

As time in the class ticked by, I was busy with my portrait. I decided to make it of my mom. Surprise, surprise.

Nico ended up helping me with the head since I guess I did it wrong or something.

At the end of class when the bell rang and Nico waved bye, I had to wonder, were me and Nico di Angelo now friends?

The rest of the day passed by relatively quick. I had biology, PE, and Spanish in the afternoon. 

When the bell rang, I met Annabeth at her car. 

I wasn’t that happy with her after lunch, but she was my only ride home.

I slid into the passenger seat and closed the door. Annabeth got in, turned the key, and pulled out of the parking lot.

…

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Sure, I believe that,” Annabeth’s tone was sarcastic.

“You should,” I told her.

“Is this about what happened at lunch?”

I shrugged. 

“Magnus,” Annabeth turned to me when we pulled up at a stoplight, “I was just-“

“Are you embarrassed by me?” I had to ask.

“What? Mags, no. Of course not.”

“Then why'd you push me away from your friends? They're too good for me?”

“No!” Annabeth groaned, “You're taking this out of context. Magnus, I just want you to branch out. Have other friends rather than mine! Is that so bad.”

I shrugged.

“Would you stop that?” Annabeth said, “I'm trying to help you be independent, meanwhile you're stubborn.”

“I just thought you'd be by my side.”

“I'm not holding onto your leash or anything. I'm not your caretaker. For gods sake, I'm not your mom, Magnus!”

I don’t know why, but when Annabeth said this, something inside of me just snapped.

Not snap as in yell at her.

No. I just stayed silent, letting Annabeth’s guilt sink in.

Her face paled, considering her word choice, “Magnus, I-“

I shook my head. Hard. Tears threatened my eyes but I didn’t give in.

I stayed silent the rest of the car ride. So did Annabeth.

Chapter 4

Percy Mourns Over his Car

I woke up at 6 am to get ready for school. I ate breakfast across from my cousin in silence. But I was kinda tired of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I was mad at Annabeth, but I couldn’t stay salty forever.

It just wasn’t possible. Not when Annabeth was as kind and cool as she was.

“Uh,” I cleared my throat, “I heard there’s a dance next week. You taking Percy?”

Annabeth looked up at me with surprised eyes, “Yeah. The whole group’s going.”

I nodded. Personally, dances weren’t my thing. So I’d probably stay home.

“You could, um, tag along,” Annabeth offered.

I smiled. I really did appreciate Annabeth’s offer. And I was about to take it but, as I said, dances weren’t really my thing. 

What can I say? I’m a homeschooled kid. Big events freak me out.

Annabeth smiled.

I liked the terms we were on now.

Even if they just covered up a problem. Better than having the problem stick around.

After I got ready and Annabeth finished up doing whatever takes girls so long to get ready, we headed out the door to Annabeth’s car.

“Oh, Mags, I meant to tell you earlier, we’re gonna pick up Percy,” She told me, sliding into the driver's seat as I got in the passenger side.

“Cool,” I nodded, “Why?”

Annabeth smirked, “His car broke down.”

“Oh.”

“So that kinda means you gotta move to the back.”

“Will I have to watch you two kiss?” I asked, moving to the back.

Annabeth scoffed but smiled, “Shut up.”

I just smirked and laid back in my seat.

When we pulled up to Percy’s apartment complex, I could see Percy jogging out. He got in the car and said, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Annabeth kissed his cheek.

I joked about a fake gag.

Percy turned to me, “Sup, Magnus?” He smiled.

“Nothin much. You?”

“A lot. I’m starting a job at the public pool to make some money to pay for a new car,” Percy grimaced.

“Yeah- how did that even happen?” I asked him.

“It just gave out on me!” Percy threw up his hands.

He sighed, “Man, and I liked that car.”

“There are other fish in the sea,” Annabeth smirked.

When we got to school, Percy went to walk Annabeth to class. I knew he loved his girlfriend, but the really advanced AP classes were at the far end of the school. If I were him, my legs would be screaming.

I made my way to first-period history, where I reminded myself I’d see some of my friends, TJ, Sam, and Halfborn.

Halfborn and TJ were already in the classroom when I walked in. 

They came up to me and we started chatting.

“Hey, Gunderson!” A rough voice called to Halfborn. 

Halfborn’s face twisted with exhaustion and frustration, “What do you want X?”

A big, strong guy with shaggy blonde hair walked up to them.

X’s lips curved into a sour smirk, “I was just wondering who this here is,” he glanced at me, “And apologize to him for having to join your pathetic band of weirdos.”

“Just leave us alone, Xander. Magnus chose to hang with us,” But TJ looked at me after saying that, his eyes asking: right?

“Yeah,” I said quietly, “I did.” 

I wasn’t quiet because I was ashamed.

I was quiet because I was nervous about the guy looming over my friends and me.

“Hmph,” Said X.

“Whatever, X,” Halfborn glared at him, “You’re just salty because I left the team.”

X opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say was cut off by the teacher telling the class to quiet down. X grunted and went back to his seat while TJ, Halfborn, and I sat down in our seats.

I got worried when Sam didn’t show up to class. Was she sick? Was I allowed to worry? Were we, like, friends?

When class dismissed, I asked TJ about Sam. 

“She’s showing around her brother, remember?”

“I forgot,” I said. But of course, Sam would be the one showing her brother around. I wondered what he was like. I wondered if we might be friends. Sam was in 11th grade. What grade was her brother in? Would he be in any of my classes?

Halfborn walked next to us, looking sort of dejected.

“Uh, you okay?” I asked him.

“I hate X,” He told me

“He seems like a jerk. Is he mean to you a lot?”

“Ever since we got into a fight and I left the football team.”

“Why’d you leave the team?” I wondered.

“Because I hated him. He talked about Mallory,” he replied.

“Really?” 

“He was mad because she turned him down.”

“He liked her?” I asked.

“A lot. But Mallory was already dating me and she wasn’t interested. So she turned him down.”

“And he blamed you.”

Halfborn snorted, “He said I was “holding her back” Mals got mad at this of course, and wanted to murder him, but I handled it.” He said with a grin.

“But now he taunts you mercilessly,” I nodded.

“Every. Single. Day,” TJ said, frustration in his voice.

“Sorry,” was all I could think to say.

“No one's fault except that jerk’s” TJ assured me.

We stayed silent, the three of us walking side by side, until I had to go to calculus. So we parted ways and I made my way to the classroom. 

I sat next to the apparently murderous Mallory Keen and pulled out my workbook to do the problems on the board. 

We ended up working on our books all class. I watched the clock longing for the minute hand to just speed up. Would that be too much to ask? I ended up giving Mallory free answers because, you know, friendship.

When the bell rang I was glad to leave. Not Mallory, the class. In fact, I walked with Mallory to English and talked to her, asking about Sam’s brother and the jerk X.

Mallory sighed, “Did Halfborn mention this crap with X happened like, two years ago? When we were freshmen?” She asked.

“No,” I answered, surprised. Why was the dude so hung up on a 9th-grade unrequited love?

I went to English, where I found Piper McLean, Will Solace, and Jason Grace. They invited me to sit with them and I accepted their offer. I soon learned they were a fun bunch. I also learned they had some sort of loathing hatred for our English teacher, who was tight-faced and had a nasal voice that gave me a headache. Seemed as if everyone did. I assumed I would soon.

I practically zoomed out of that classroom when the bell rang for lunch.

Chapter 5

The New Kid Punches me because I am an Idiot

I met Halfborn, TJ, and Mallory at the lunch table.

“Hey Mags,” Mallory nodded at me.

“Have you seen Sam and her brother yet?” TJ asked me. 

“No,” I replied, “I thought they’d be here.” 

Halfborn shrugged, “Maybe she’s still showing-“

But he was cut off by Sam’s voice saying, “Hey.” Behind me. I turned around to face her, but when I saw the kid next to her, I forgot how the breathe.

The kid’s features struck me like lighting. A charismatic expression, wryly smile, green hair sprouting from dark roots, and two-toned colored eyes. The right eye was brown and the left one seemed to be a bronze-ish gold. There was a name for eyes like those, but I didn’t remember what it was. My mom always called them David Bowie eyes.

The kid wore a checkered sweater vest on top of a collared shirt, lime green jeans, rose-high tops, and a pink sweater wrapped around his waist.

“You can stop staring now,” The kid told me.

“I- I wasn't- you-” I blushed and looked away.

Sam whispered something to the kid, who went, “Yeah, yeah I know. I’ll introduce myself.”

The kid turned to the rest of us, “I’m Alex Fierro. Nice to meet you I guess.”

Alex pulled out the seat next to mine and plopped down, making himself at home. 

“Is he-“ Mallory started 

“She,” Alex corrected.

“What?” Mallory asked.

“Call me she unless and until I tell you otherwise.”

“Yeah but-“

“She and her,” Alex said firmly.

“Alex is genderfluid,” Sam told the group.

A stuffy, uncomfortable filled the area.

Awkwardness.

I hated awkwardness.

Maybe a joke would make things less tense.

“Genderfluid? So you uh, switch between genders? Do you assign a gender for each day of the week? Monday you’re a dude, Tuesday you’re a girl?” I attempted to crack a smile.

And apparently, my joke was so unfunny and idiotic that I earned a punch square in the face from Alex Fierro.

It wasn’t a horribly hard punch that would result in my nose breaking or bleeding.

It still hurt like hell. I’d probably have a bruise.

I didn’t blame Alex for hitting me. It was a lame joke. But why oh why did she have to have such a good punch?

“Agh,” I held my head in my hands.

“Magnus!” Sam exclaimed and then turned to Alex, “Why’d you do that?” She asked her.

“I- well he was being sort of stupid,” Alex pointed out.

“Maybe, but you shouldn’t have punched him.”

“The guy can take it, Sam.”

And she was right, I could take it. But that doesn’t mean I wanted it.

“Fine- it’s fine-“ winced, putting up my hand.

“I should still take you to the nurse,” Sam said.

She glanced around the cafe. Everyone was staring.

“Get back to your lunch, people!” Alex announced.

And they did. Because Alex Fierro was the kind of person you wanted to listen to.

Sam sighed. “Come on, Magnus, let’s go tell the nurse you ran into a wall.”

The nurse gave me an ice pack for my supposed run-in with the wall. 

“Sorry, Magnus,” Sam apologized as we made our way down the hall. 

“It’s not your fault,” I said.

“I know. It’s Alex. She’s just-“

“No it’s fine, I was being stupid.”

“I won’t deny or confirm that but Alex shouldn’t have punched you.”

I just shrugged.

“She hates this whole thing, you know?”

“Hates what?

“Being at a new school. Getting judged,” Sam replied, “She’s been judged by everyone her whole life. Classmates, adults. Even her own family was…toxic.” That hadn’t seemed to be what Sam wanted to say at first but she left it at that.

“Oh. So she’s wary of people. That’s why she punched me,” I guessed.

“Probably. But maybe she just didn’t like your comment. I didn’t really like it either. You need to work on your humor, Chase.” She shot me a smirk.

I smiled, “Yeah, I do.”

The bell for 4th period rang before we could even get back to the cafeteria. Luckily, Sam and I had brought our things with us in case of this. So we just headed to class.

I had hoped to avoid Alex Fierro for the rest of the day. Not because I hated her for punching me. Because I wanted to give her time to cool off so that I wouldn’t need to go to the nurse for a second time.

But luck is never in my favor, since Alex Fierro was who I saw in my art class, chatting with Mr Blitzen.

Mr Blitzen pointed at me and Nico’s desks, which couldn’t be a good sign, and turned back to Alex and continued speaking.

The horror only got worse.

Alex sat down in Nico’s empty seat. Where was Nico? I silently cursed him, as his absence would most likely result in another bruise.

I slowly made my way to his seat, not saying a word to Alex. 

That was until she slapped two crisp dollar bills in front of me. One was a ten, the other a five.

“Uh, what’s this?” I asked.

“Payment, duh,” Alex smirked.

“For-for punching my face?” I pointed to my bruise.

“What else?”

“You don’t have to pay for my face,” I shook my head.

Alex snorted, “That sounds weird.”

“It does.”

“Anyways, if you don’t want my money then I guess…”

I sort of did want it. I’d probably be able to get a new comic book with that money. But Fierro didn't need to give me apology money.

“You can take it back,” I told him.

“Whew. That's a relief. I kinda need that money anyways,” Alex said. I wondered why but decided not to ask. Maybe it had something to do with the “situation” she had gotten herself into.

We stayed silent. Alex had gotten a paper to work on her own portrait. I couldn't quite tell who she was drawing. A boy, but he wasn't familiar. Of course not, since I wasn't connected to Alex in any way except for Sam. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized. I had seen Fierro before. I wasn't sure exactly when or where, but I was pretty sure I might've seen her on the street or in an aisle at a store in my old neighborhood.

“His name is Adrian,” A voice broke my train of thought.

“What?” I looked up at Alex.

“The guy in my portrait,” she clarified, “His name was Adrian.”

“Oh, cool,” was all I could say. Because I caught the “was” and wanted to talk about it. But I didn't want to make Alex uncomfortable, or worse, earn another punch.

She looked at my paper, “May I give you a suggestion? Outline the proportions before you start on the features.”

I looked at the portrait. The proportions were out of place. That's why my mom's eyes looked so weird.

“Thanks,” I told her.

“Least I could do since I kinda gave you a black eye,” Alex shrugged.

“Is it that bad?” I asked.

“Nah not really,” Alex answered, “The bruising is only under your eye,” she said.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

And we were silent while working on our projects for the rest of class.

I didn't know what to do with Alex Fierro. She was intimidating. Intense. But at the same time, she was intriguing. I wanted to know Alex Fierro. I wanted to figure out what she was all about.

But how could I dig deeper without hurting her? (which would result in hurting me)

After class, when the bell rang, I decided to do something.

I stopped Alex Fierro on the way out.

“Can I have your number?”

Alex raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“Uh, because I wanna text you,” I replied.

“Why?”

“Because that’s what friends do?”

“We’re friends?” Alex raised her other eyebrow.

“I mean, do you want to be…?” 

Alex shrugged. “I guess.”

She gave me her number.

Chapter 6

Sam lets me Have the Aux Cord

“Magnus!” Sam called to me. 

I was walking in the student parking lot, heading to Annabeth’s car, when I spotted Sam and Alex standing by a blue Mazda.

I walked over to them.

“I didn’t know you could drive,” Sam said, “Are you sixteen?” She asked.

“No, I’m fifteen,” I answered.

My birthday was in January. It was currently March.

My mind went back to the time when I was thirteen. My mom promised me she’d get me a car for my birthday. She’d already started setting money aside when I started junior high. 

“I want to get you a sports car,” She told me one day when we were on the road.

“Why?” I asked, “Aren’t those expensive.”

“Maybe,” mom sighed with a sad smile, “But you know, high school girls like riding in sports cars. With the top down, a cute guy next to her.”

“Ew,” I said.

My mom gave a soft laugh, “You might say that now, but that’s how I met your father.”

My mother’s eyes looked tired and sad. That’s how they always looked when she talked about my dad.

“Uhh, Magnus?” Sam waved in front of me.

“Oh, sorry,” I apologized and looked at her car, “Nice ride,” I told her.

“Thanks,” Sam smiled, “Alex and I were just about to head back home. You need a ride?”

I hesitated, but then said, “If it’s not too much trouble.”

I wondered if Annabeth would mind. Probably not. She was driving Percy home anyway and I really didn’t feel like being a third wheel.

“It’s not. And I’ll let you have the aux,” Sam smiled.

“But I thought-“ Alex started.

“Let the guy with the black eye pick the music,” Sam said firmly, “Besides I’m tired of listening to Odetari.”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. But I call shotgun!” Alex slid into the passenger side seat.

Sam looked at me with exhaustion. Being Alex’s sister must be tiring.

I got into the back seat and Sam got in the drivers side.

After buckling up I pulled out my phone and texted Annabeth that I was riding with Sam.

Me: I’m riding with Sam. She’s gonna drop me off. Don’t be mad.

Annabeth: why would I be?

Me: idk tell Percy hi for me

Annabeth: k see you later

“Well, Maggie, ready to play us some sick tunes?” Alex asked, glancing back at me before opening the top mirror, pulling out a tube from her bag and touching up her eyeliner.

“Don’t call me Maggie,” I said, taking the cord as Sam handed it to me.

I plugged my phone in and opened Spotify.

I tapped on my main playlist that included my favorite bands. Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood, Weezer, and The Killers.

The first song that came on shuffle was 505.

Alex put her eyeliner away and grinned, “I absolutely love this song,” she said.

“Is this…Arctic Monkeys?” Sam asked, “I have their AM record.”

As the song went on, I started singing quietly. Not too loud, or I’d probably ruin the song for Alex and Sam. But still, I sang. I loved singing this song. I felt a rush of satisfaction as I hit the notes perfectly.

My favorite lyric was about to come up and I sang my heart out when the singer sang: I crumble completely when you cry

When the song ended, I found Alex turned around in her seat, looking at me with a daring glint in her eye.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” She exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Sam looked at me in the rear view mirror, “Magnus that was…awesome!”

“T-thanks,” I told them. I didn’t know what to do with this compliment. I had a love for singing since I was little, but nobody had ever told me my voice was awesome.

“I wish I had my guitar with me. I learned to play that rift a while ago,” Alex told me.

“And I could totally learn that on drums,” Sam added.

We were all quiet for a second, deep in thought.

“Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?” Sam asked over Weezer’s Sweater Song.

Alex smirked, “We should start a band.”

“What?” I asked. I was thinking it too, but I didn’t know they were serious.

“We totally could,” Sam agreed.

“I’m in, obviously,” Alex said.

“So am I,” Sam looked at me, “You in Magnus?”

“I-“ I paused. Maybe this was good. Maybe a band would be the perfect way to get my mind off of things, “I’m in.” I made up my mind.

@imasimpdealwithit i think you wanted to read this lol

#rick riordanverse #pjo #mcga #alex fierro #fierrochase #magnus chase #samirah al abbas #fanfic

[vanillatalc]

ok im gonna just talk about it anyway :D

he announced earlier that next year he's gonna push me more, and i was like ? wat? why? and he was like i think we're both undersocialised atm and i was quite annoyed by this and also a bit hurt bc i feel like that's more untrue in the past 6 months thn it's been sice the pandemic (and maybe before - bc most of our friends now are people from discord we ended up becoming irl friends with)

maybe *you* feel undersocialised ben but *i* actually find basically all social activities something to endure rather than enjoy

also don't forget that ana is my soulmate and I feel very happy just hanging out with them and Ben

i feel like he has still this shark feeling of gotta keep moving or ill die :) like he is doing much better than he was from sept-nov but yeah i think he doesnt need to make that an Us problem lol like i dont share that feeling at all lol like if you want to do more things than i do you can do some stuff separately, and some stuff with me! as is normal!

i did feel quite frustratedand annoyed with the way he brought it up , which he did apologise for later bc he agreed we're doing the right things etc and he didnt really mean he wants to push me MORE just that he doesnt want to BACKSLIDE. which is fine i guess but it was a bit annoying to hear anyway bc i am not planningon going intoi a big isolationist hole

like the implication that next year some REAL change is gonna happen and totally ignoring the fact that we got married a few months ago (objectively the biggest social event either of us have ever done), that we hung out with Boops and yuka at an art installation, that we've had clare over a bunch of times, that we've had boops over, that he's done a few irl dnd sessions w/ lucas clare boops, that we've been ice skating a few times, that we've done escape rooms together, that we've done some family trips, we did that ceramics class, we've done a LOT of pokemon walks - all of this in teh past 2 or 3 months apart from the wedding - im just like god damn how much stuff do i have to do to satisfy you lol like i simply dont find the same kind of drive to Do Things that he has and I have still done all this shit REGARDLESS

i was also annoyed i think by the implication that he's the one who needs to push me when actually half of the above shit was my idea!!! the ice skating was me! the wedding was my idea! the escape rooms were my idea! i was the one who restarted teh pokemon go! i was the one who created the server in the first place, where he found his friends!!!! these are all my friends i let him share!!! i was the one who arranged the halloween party w/ boops and clare literally bc he was so sad i wanted to do something nice for him

i do read him charitably - as i legit think is important to do in all relationships with someone you like and respect on a very basic level lol - and i dont think he meant to suggest that im massively inadequate lmfao (i mean - i know he didnt) and he apologised for coming in too hard about stuff, and i know he's traumatised by covid (who isnt?) and is terrified of going back into that tiny world where it was just us and we didnt see anyone else for 2y. but that's not on the cards anyway so i felt a bit wrongfooted by the whole talk

also i was so cross i went mute and under my blankets until he sort of to put it bluntly fucked me back into communication lmfao !! me hissing "im cross with you" while he was actively fucking me </3 looool (this is 100%% fine by the way, just for the record, i was way less annopyed by the sex than the conversation, the sex cheered me up even and it was the right move)

anyway whatever. i think we're actually on the same page in terms of not wanting a particularly quiet 2024 (we're planning on going to Iceland in the winter and also there will be a chess meetup abroad somewhere) so we move. i was just annoyed by how he framed it but he did apologise anyway and i know he didnt really mean anything!! but it was annoying lol like omg I try sooo hard. so fucking hard!!!

ETA: fucking. also. he wasn't even making ANY comment on this stuff and he's fully been my biggest cheerleader lol but I've also been so busy work-wise (my "chess career" is reaching new heights after all) and taking care of him these past few months and doing my doll job as well I think I just want someone to be like omg cham you are actually soooo impressive I'm soooo obsessed with you !!! don't worry you don't need to find anything else inside you you are doing sooooo well!!! (Ben is actually usually like this but I want him to say it now as well) like I've been working on job stuff AS WELL AS doing loads more shit with him lately and I feel like I should get extra credit for that

all this to say that this would be a good time to send me a message with how great you think i am. lol

#hi darling xxxx

[thursdaysrain]

my experience with blender and unity, together, has been a bit of a nightmare, but separately they haven't been bad. unity i've had issues with but they always felt surmountable, like, no matter what i can work around this problem.

blender i just enjoy, it has this reputation as like a weird badly designed software but maybe that's gone away w/ recent (recent as in.. years ago) ui changes. new features have been great and there isn't much for me to complain about here, but idk what a new user's experience is like. it's hard to tell people who ask me how to get started what to work with, bc everything i learned from is out of date.

the real headache comes from the transition between the two, which has been a real nightmare for me. once i'm all done working on wormgrubber 2.0, i need to put together workflow document to reference whenever i'm working on new 3d assets for unity in the future. it's a big list and it's been a real pain to discover each problem one at a time.

first and foremost it is obvious to me now that blender is not gamedev software. when i started gamedev, i split my time between learning shaders and learning 3d, not touching animation and mostly focusing on making little model display art pieces. i did this for a couple years. rigging was always a huge pain in the ass, weight painting moreso, so i just avoided it for a while. when i brought my first fully rigged piece into unity it was a nightmare, nothing looked right at all. this kind of thing honestly traumatized me, lol. i spent so much time trying to obsessively make perfect rigs bc i was terrified by shapekeys and drivers, horrified to spend hours setting something up only for it to be useless. this was wrongheaded for multiple reasons... there are so many features in blender that are just not relevant to unity and/or don't export through the only 3d format unity uses, fbx. this makes sense if you think about it for a bit, blender has a lot of features for rendering 3d animation and art but a lot of this wouldn't work in a realtime game, it's just too intensive. but! if you spend all your time learning 3D instead of specifically learning "3d for game animation" you come to lean on things like corrective smoothing or other modifiers.

3d is a weird mix of like, destructive and nondestructive workflows. blender will often let you work your way into positions you cant easily recover from without a lot of extra work or discarding work, setups that work fine within blender but absolutely will not export to unity. things like being unable to apply modifiers to models with shapekeys, but needing to apply all shapekeys to properly export a model, etc.

unity does this thing where it has very specific ideas about how things should work and it only tells you what it's doing maybe like 20% of the time. everything else is up to you to figure out the hard way. im not sure yet if this is an fbx problem or not but interpolation settings in blender aren't exported to unity, so it just comes up with its own. unity doesn't play the last frame of an animation. this makes sense for some contexts, because an animation is an interpolation between a start point and an end point, but like, nothing in unity tells you this the case. whenever i search for these things i always find forum posts, not unity documents. and you cant really change it without clumsy code slapped on top bc so much of this is below the closed off part of unity's code.

make games this way, not that way. i used to always think that when i was struggling against unity it was a sign i was designing something poorly, but now i know enough to know it's often because unity is itself struggling under the weight of choices made years ago, or half finished projects with poor documentation. arcane rules and practices i don't know bc i didn't go to college and because the knowledge is typically split across like several different jobs in a normal large studio.

i don't know how you learn this stuff other than trial and error. maybe in a college?? i dont know how other self taught indies deal with it. tutorials on youtube/etc seem to be split between like teaching you isolated tricks or teaching you very specific workflows without telling you exactly why you can't do this or that. blender tutorials are often for non-gamedevs, and unity tutorials are about following unity's design decisions without explaining them.

i know creating tutorials is a lot of effort and it's impossible to be fully comprehensive, but for something as common as 'take blender thing and put it in unity' should be for indie gamedev, i dont get why i havent seen more grumbling about this. i feel like every major snag i've come across (ones mentioned here are only a few of them) i was completely clueless about until i started doing some digging and the only thing to save me is some post from like 2016 on the unity forums.

its been a struggle!!!! i know i'm getting closer to the end of the tunnel but like every time i think it's a straight shot some new pit opens up. still, i'm getting there. my short advice to anyone is to always iterate, if you are trying to make art for games, make some art and put it in gamdev software. see what you like about it, how your desired workflow works with the software, etc. these skills arent separate, they have to be tied together.

#gamedev #navelgazing #nevermind all the other stupid shit unity tries to pull every other year or so

[moodr1ng]

re last post while im being chatty (sleeping pills do that to me): i have a kinda strange relationship w my knuckle tattoos. when i was 17 i was in a pretty rough spot in life. though i wasnt in The Absolute Worst Years, things werent going great on pretty much any front. i was failing out of school at the time, i saw no future for myself, i felt like i had fucked up all my options beyond any redemption. i lived in a "bad neighborhood", in a social housing apartment where i shared the one bedroom with my sister and my mom slept in the living room. i had like, two irl friends and one of those friendships was quite toxic and codependent. my mental health was abysmal and my parents were at the end of their rope with what to do with me. nobody even believed id manage to graduate high school anymore. i had no money except what i could glean from art commissions on tumblr and whatnot. i was perpetually broke and so were my friends (we shoplifted quite a bit at that time). i always knew my mom and i didnt exactly have much money but i was really feeling it then, and more than that, i felt like this prophecy was hanging over my head, that i would too end up like my parents: an underpaid worker in a shit job with seemingly no upsides or ways to move forward.

yet i had an inkling that one day i might get out of this; that i might one day escape this and 'rise above my station', 'make it' in some way. i pictured myself as someone who did make it: an older version of me, who i pictured very clean-cut and acceptable-looking, maybe wearing a suit or something. i hated that version of me; the sellout. i looked at that future me and thought: dont you dare forget about me. dont you dare forget about all of us here - not just my family but everyone i loved, and the people in the same neighborhoods and the same situation. i guess it was a moment of class awareness and solidarity. i thought: ill never let myself become a clean-cut, law-abiding, middle class sycophant who looks down on people like me.

so i got commission money for the cheapest tattoo machine i could get, some $50 crappy machine i got off ebay that came with needles and inks, and i sat at my kitchen table one afternoon with an internet friend on a skype call and tattooed my own knuckles - right hand tattooed with the left hand and all. i chose "DIRT POOR". i thought: there. not only can i see it, everyone can. i can rise up as much as i can in the world. but there will always be this neon sign on my hand that says: i came from here.

and i stuck with that for a very long time. i loved those tattoos. when i stopped loving them (because theyre kinda ugly, and i dont like explaining them to people, etc) i still loved the meaning behind them.

but then i actually 'made it'. i mean, not really. i didnt truly make it. i dont have a job, my main income is disability benefits, but im blessed that i also have my etsy shop and a roommate who helps with rent and a very cheap apartment, all of which means i have an income thats almost minimum wage and benefit from a lot of government aid, and through that ive set aside sizeable savings. i dont have to worry about paying for my food or home or clothes or other necessities, and i can go for drinks with friends or order takeout or buy myself little eccentricities just because i want to. i certainly didnt turn out clean-cut and proper in a suit, but i got to a place that 17 year old tattooing himself on a dirty kitchen table thought hed never get to.

and now that im here the tattoos feel.. silly. shameful. the people who ask me about them are most often panhandlers - and when i translate what it means to them i feel like such a poser. like, dirt poor? really? but im not dirt poor. im doing fine. if i dont get into the extensive backstory of the tattoos every time, i just.. look like someone trying to look rougher than i am. i feel like im appropriating a struggle that is no longer mine. and i dont even like the tattoos anymore and havent for a long time, and now the message itself doesnt feel worth having them.

like id forget where i come from if i didnt have it etched in my hands? like i even needed that reminder anyway? in the end, i got these because i didnt trust myself - because i thought my class solidarity was disingenuous, opportunistic, based only in my current circumstances. but ill never forget how i grew up. the message is already in me. i never needed a reminder. my past will always be a part of me.

so, anyway, ive been thinking of getting the tattoos lasered off. im far from being sure i wanna do it, though almost only because of the price, but ive been considering it often. i still feel a bit like its a betrayal of my 17 yo self. but then again, i think if he saw me now, 10 years older and in the position im in now, hed probably get it. hed see i havent really changed, not in the important ways. i think in the same way i need to forgive my past selves, maybe they too need to forgive me for moving on from them. so i really might get the laser, if not soon, then someday.

if i do, ill still have other hand and finger tattoos, so it wouldnt change much if i get new knuckle ones. if that does come to pass - im thinking "GOOD LUCK" this time.

#97 #substance use #long post #hmm actually one place offers laser removal for 150€? #like obvs thats not cheap but. i can afford that. #maybe i really should go for it.. after the summer has passed though

[faunsoda]

sbi ib au w wilbur as mary is a concept i cannot stop thinking abt, like i haven’t touched ib in years and i was more into smaller dynamics in sbi than sbi as a whole, but it makes me so insane. you’re a genius and i adore that au concept. techno as gary is also so much fun, i rlly liked the whole thing. also the art was SO nice, your style is very neat. if you have any more thoughts abt the au as a whole i’d love to hear them, but if not, just know i love the concept so much

WOOO i hear u, my favorite dynamics within sbi are crimeboys and bedrock bros (it really shows in this au) because i am a huge sucker for sibling dynamics. the remake for ib came out for switch recently so the childhood hyperfixation reawakened like a beast

i have so many thoughts in my brain let me drop these bad boys. infodump time.

my idea of a first meeting between techno and tommy! rather than having his rose stolen like garrys, its tommy stumbling in on techno getting cornered by one of the lady paintings. techno probably wouldve gotten out just fine eventually, maybe lost a few petals but tommy distracts the painting so he can escape unharmed! then theyre like 🤝 team up time

please ignore the shitty ooc dialogue everywhere ive just been getting ideas jotted down in my free time hehe. i imagine the dynamic between techno and wilbur in this au being pretty tense! techno is IMMEDIATELY suspicious/wary of wilbur & wilbur wants to leave with tommy, taking technos place. techno doesnt wanna be too protective of tommy because a) this is some kid he just met what does he care b) he doesnt really have any reason to be suspicious about wilbur because hes done literally nothing wrong so far hes just off so techno doesnt trust him

also philza as guertena means he doesnt show up like at all BUT i really liked the theory from a few years ago that part of marys dislike for garry stemmed from garry resembling guertena and her feeling like she’d been abandoned since i cant really imagine she can grasp the complete concept and weight of death. so i did have techno resemble philza a bit here (eg. emerald and stubble that i keep forgetting to draw-) which will probably be unmentioned in stuff i draw for this au because again philza wont show up much. so yeah ooh possible idea that wilbur might resent techno for that a little bit or just be like kind of annoyed by it. idk man im just sitting here.

i also did the three main endings! promise of reunion and together forever were kinda quick because i did not have time to properly draw and color them :,] but i found a neat brush and wanted to draw the forgotten portrait painting because ow. in my original drawings of this au tommy didnt have a green bandana but i decided to give him one as a stand in for the hankerchief ib carries! after all this ill probably do some redraws of moments from the game or try to reimagine the toy box since wilbur is notably not a child like mary is!

yeah hey that was probably like way more information about this au than anyone couldve wanted but B] if you have any thoughts about this au that differ from mine or if you just have thoughts in general id love to hear em! my brain is rotting. thanks for coming to my ted talk (and thank you for the ask, i am new to tumblr so this is my first ask yippee!!)

#dsmp #dream smp #my artwork #sbi ib au #my asks #dsmp fanart #crime boys #bedrock bros #sleepy boys inc #asks

[seoafin]

HELLO ??? LITERALLY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES UR FIC IS TOO GOOD ?????

i felt every single emotion reading it. i am numb.

(forgive my rambling... please)

megumi... poor boy. when ur around his age, you would imagine that you'd trust people easier, or have a "child-like faith" but he's the complete opposite and it BREAKS MY HEART LORDDDD

tsumiki as well... 😭 carrying so much on her back and she probably hasn't even learnt quadratic formula yet 😭 my heart aches everytime i think about her tbh. it takes an insane amount of maturity (for someone as young as her) to keep smiling and get things done for her and megs. or maybe she has double the amount of child-like faith that megumi just seemed to lose along the way. (just yet another way of how she's raising them both.... crying)

toji may be a piece of shit.... but he's my piece of shit im so sorry. glad that rip!mc gave him that wake up call though !! (if only she were canon.... gege im in ur walls).

satoru being angry and annoyed for this entire fic did make me giggle. personally, i don't think many things can get him that riled up,,, so let's just say im jumping up and down at the fact that someone so "boring" can make his blood pressure increase like no one's business. (i love how protective he is even though if u look closely, he can be borderline psychotic. he cares SO much about her anddddd i have tears in my eyes again. wow. just him immediately taking rip!mc to his room to play cards. him making immediate moves to help her and megs. that is SO important to me.)

suguru as well 😭 he is so cute shame... just constantly flustered 😭😭😭 thank you for making him happy.. it's all i've wanted for the past 3 years 😭😭😭 (him and satoru.... thin ice... love them tho. but thin ice)

shoko. im in love. nothing has changed. i understand rip!mc. plus,,, her being the biggest instigator LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 not giving satoru, suguru, OR toji a moment of peace. such wife material actually. it's also so heartwarming that she doesn't pry into rip!mc's stuff, how she continues to lie to the boys just for her. the blind trust.... they're meant to be... (THE END WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. PERSONALLY.)

rip!mc.... you really dug at my heart this time 😭😭😭😭 i don't wanna overshare, but all i will say is, she is JUST like me. im fr just looking at myself at this point and all this kinda hits home 😭 (the daddy issues theme was amazing morgan love it) she is too kindhearted for her own good (sounds like SOMEONE... 😔) but i love her w everything in my heart. she deserves every single good thing and more that comes her way tbh. just her projecting her issues onto megs and toji was so heartbreaking. love her.

marie is so fine.

amazing fic as always morgan. you are genuinely such an amazing author, u really grabbed me and forced to feel every emotion in this fic 😭 ur talent never fails to amaze me. you >>>> the world. ly and goodbye. (more art coming ur way!)

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!

my favorite thing abt writing rip!mc is hands down her dynamic with megumi and i know i haven't written abt those two as much as i probably should've but i love them...i made it so that rip!mc would parallel megumi bc i wanted to explore a character that really had no other choice but to become a jujutsu sorcerer like in an another life rip!mc could've been megumi and megumi could've been rip!mc the possibilities!! tsumiki too. im rlly excited for her role in the upcoming chapters/arcs bc i rlly want to see more of her. just imagining tsumiki who is barely older than megumi taking on the role of responsibility when they were children breaks my heart. also a lot of ppl talk about megumi and toji but what about tsumiki and HER mother??? like yes toji abandoned megumi but so did tsumiki's mother like ouch that must've hurt or maybe she was just so used to it which is why taking care of megumi came so easy. maybe she was used to fending for herself 🥲

toji.... i originally envisioned rip!mc finding him in a pachinko parlor LMAO stsg were ALSO supposed to visit the hostess club unfortunately i cut the scene out bc it didn't make sense. but yes the man definitely needed a wake up call personally i think rip!mc should've been even harsher but the girl was straight up dissociating that entire conversation fjdksfdjnks

hs gojo is such a tsundere!!! like it's part bc he sucks at communicating and it's another part the fact that rip!mc is just extraordinarily dense in aspects. he also just assumes that it's a given that people understand him (like geto does) LMAO. i feel like that's the difference between hs gojo n adult gojo in regards to his relationship with rip!mc. adult gojo is just a lot more confident in how to handle her and knows exactly what buttons to push while hs gojo is a lot more rash and easier crueler with his words. he is the WORST.

when else is geto not going to be happy other than in my fics 😔 i love him so much!!! i wrote all the geto scenes for this fic first and then tried to figure out where to fit gojo let me TELL YOU. all the geto parts were done and written!!! it took me like 3 months to finish gojo's though 😭😭😭

ok let's talk shoko aka the TRUE ENDING. yes shoko is the biggest instigator ever. it would be hilarious to see gojo and geto riled up while also asserting her Dominance as rip!mc's number 1 <33333 in the end she's the only one that actually and truly just wants the best things for her bf even if that may or may not include stsg. these bitches r so gay.....gojo n geto r just willfully blind about it DNFJKSDNJF

thank you so much for reading friend!!! once again im so so so so happy you enjoyed it <33333 like if even one person enjoyed that makes me soooo happy and thank you for letting me read your thoughts I LOVE WHEN PPL TALK TO ME ABT MY FICS <3333 also i will eagerly be awaiting whatever u draw omg

#yeah yeah toji abandoned megumi but tsumiki's mother also abandoned HER 😭 #i'd argue it's even worse considering we don't even know what happened to her unlike toji #never apologize for rambling it genuinely heartens me to see ppl enjoy it!!!!! #let ME apologize bc i RAMBLED LMAO #long post #.fb

[tyonfs]

GIRL DONT GET ME STARTED ON WEBTOONS I WILL NEVER SHUT UP!!!!

but omg yeah i see what u mean w operation true love HAHA the sister is so annoying so it gives me SO MUCH satisfaction to see her not getting her way rn!! omg if u do decide to start it again lmk!!! 🤭 AND JIMIN AND YE EUN ARE GETTING THEIR OWN WEBTOON??? OMG E2L ARC I LOVE THEM SM CRIESNFKGNRN

i'm literally keeping up w so many webtoons rn (i gave up on anime bc of webtoons im sorry alice 😭😔) but my two absolute favs r seasons of blossom and honey lemon!!! (both of them update on the same day too so that's lucky for me LOL) but i recently found this new webtoon called muse on fame and i am Very Invested already!!! i also keep up w hello baby, go away romeo, operation: true love, maybe meant to be, the guy upstairs, get schooled!, perfect marriage revenge, there must be happy endings, dark moon: the blood altar, and marry my husband!! plus a lot of daily pass ones like designated bully, reality quest etc. OH and i don't even like horror but i found this rlly good dystopian one called everything is fine! it's currently on hiatus but i m super excited for the next season! i might also start purple hyacinth bc it's on hiatus rn and i can catch up quickly! beyond virtual is also rlly cool but it's also on hiatus rn unfortunately :(

which are ur fav webtoons??

also omg i saw u saw the dreamies live!!! THATS SO AWESOME I SHALL HAVE TO LIVE VICARIOUSLY THRU U :') which of their songs did u enjoy seeing live the most? and how were they irl? like . do they look the same as in videos? (idk if this makes sense but like are they taller than they seem or like. basically how are their personalities irl? 😭)

I'm so sorry for the long ask lmao i tend to get too excited whenever someone asks me ab webtoons 💀🥲 i hope ur day has been great and you got to eat lots of good food and stayed hydrated!! – anime :)

HAHAH i’ve been on the webtoon grind for the past 6 years it’s hard to escape 🫨

the art style is still rlly nice so i would consider reading true love operation tbh LMAOAO but love triangles also stress me out 😔 (odd girl out you have ruined me) also i’m not sure if i translated the raws wrong but i think they’re just getting extra chapters :’)) lowkey…….. i like them more than the main couple 🫣

LMAOAODJJ ANIME ANON U EVOLVED INTO WEBTOON ANON 😩 omg seasons of blossom is my absolute fav i remember when the first three chapters were out and i thought it was the cutest webtoon ever and now it’s the most emotionally damaging work of art i’ve ever read 😭💗 i fast passed to the end and wow. incredibly beautiful. and honey lemon is so cute too!!! i hate the boyfriend 😡😡😡 cant wait for her to break up with him!!! omg muse on fame is sooo good i love the art style so much 🤭 hello baby is from the author of age matters right ?? i subscribed but i’m yet to check it out :0 i will have to once i catch up with unordinary LOL

omg i read those too except the daily pass ones 😩 dear x and suhee0 are the only ones i’ve been trying to keep up with </3 everything is fine is one of my favoritesss i’m so sad it’s been on hiatus tho 😔 omg the hybe webtoons im ngl i think the only one that caught my attention was the lesserafim one :’)

hmm i’d say my favorites at the moment are seasons of blossom, villain with a crush, cursed princess club, phone addict, our secret alliance, odd girl out, exchange student, the fox club, act like you love me, my dud to stud boyfriend, and after school lessons for unripe apples 💗💗 my all time favorites would have to be romance 101, swimming lessons for a mermaid, and seasons of blossom 🌷🌷

oh my god i have post concert memory loss from tds2 i swear but they were so unreal 😭💖 like i couldn’t believe they were right in front of my eyes they were incredibleee i think my fav stage to watch was trigger the fever 🥹🥹 ngl i think they’re shorter irl . but my guy friends are also 6’3 and i’m pretty short so i have a skewed perception anyways LMAOAO but they’re so passionate when they perform and RENJUN was so energetic i was so soft watching him 🥰 but they are all so much more gorgeous irl like YES they are beautiful on camera but it’s such a different experience in the flesh

don’t apologize !!! also i hope you’re staying healthy as well and make sure you have a good day 🥰💖

#asks #anime anon

[unsafecoma]

YAYAYYA i wanted to do madamemiz's ask game about the DCA because i llike them 🫶 UNDER THE CUT !! ! !! ! !!!

how did you get here?

my hyperfix on the dca started earrrly january this year because i played hw2 and was promptly swept off my feet and ive been sick over them since. id played it before , but started playing again bc i wanted too 100% the game! oh if only id known !!

2. why these characters in particular? what was the hook for you?

originally it was Sun that hooked me onto both of them. hes just so silly!! and such a prissy bitch!! and i love it!! plus i love the idea of 2 separate ids in one body, thats always fun to mess with 😋

3. how long have you been here?

since early january of this year!! though, im not SUPER active in the fandom itself. i just silently enjoy fanart/fics , and VERY RARELY draw and post on my art bog. im not a big participator in fandom itself, im perfectly comfy just watching.

4. have you actually played fnaf sb?

NO. and i do not plan to. the game is too buggy to pay 40 bucks for it, plus i really dont wanna give scott anymore money (fuck you scott cawthon i hate you scott cawthon a million plagues upon you and your life scott cawthon) so ill pass. im perfectly fine with just watching videos.

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

THIS POST!! i love vocaloid, and i love the dca, and whats better than combining the two? i was especially proud of myself bc these were animations, which is something i NEEEVERRR to, so id say i was pretty damn happy with these!!

6. what's your favorite sort of art or fic? what genre/flavor/style?

ive still yet to actually read any fics abt the dca (im in the process of reading one about djmm rn <3 its so good i love it so much <333) but im a sucker for angst w/a happy end (the heart wants what the heart wants, and who am i to deny ?)

7. what's your favorite au?

i like aquatic aus for the dca!!!!! i love seeing all the different designs ppl give them ... i also rlly like cowboy/western aus too :)

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of?

not yet, but ive absolutely thought about it!! maybe one day ... (for now though, im happy with my silly little technician s/i hehe)

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I LOVE THEM I THINK THEYRE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY i dont really see them as scary from looks alone tbh, like MAYBE moon but it'd have to be rlly dark so it was just his glowing eyes visible. other than that they are just silly billys cutie patooties to me. id pinch their cheeks if i could (i mean i know u can but. ykwim)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had?

im kept sane by both my own brain's constant thoughts abt these robots, and also the art and writing made by other fans!! i 🫶 images.

11. be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

:( i GUESS sun, if i HAD to choose, only bc Moon's the one with the virus. it feels so wrong to separate them. you wound me.

12. thoughts on eclipse?

I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! i hc that eclipse isnt one whole robot, but its a state of being where sun and moon are both comfortably, equally in control of the body. so like ... in a WAY they could seem blended into one whole ai, but theyre both still in there, and have moments of one overtaking the other, while still as "eclipse".

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

I feel like pre glitch Sun was juuust starting to get a bit overworked and burnt out, like right before the virus (and afterwards, it jsut got worse and worse). i think the DCA are genuinely good at taking care of kids, they just slip up often and arent absolutely perfect at it (unlike how they would be, if they were actually made to be caretakers and not theater animatronics). sometimes Sun is too loud, having to constantly remind himself to lower his voice when around more meek kids in the daycare.

he definitely has his moments where he needs to correct himself and remember that he is taking care of young kids, but all in all, i feel like Sun was pretty good at taking care of the kids (much better than he was when he was first moved to the daycare, since i can imagine he was VERY, VERY BITTER about being moved from the theater, but its not like being a theater animatronic was synonymous with despising children, so he wouldn't HATE them or anything yk ??)

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

YKNOW I WONDER does moons voice sound like that bc of the virus, or is that just his voice ? nonetheless, i feel like Moon was good with his job, and maybe a bit better than Sun, only bc i feel like handling naptime would come with less struggles than daytime activities.

Moon was probably so much more gentle, less hunched over and 'scary-looking' when he moved, and rather than punishing kids for not sleeping he just ... actually helped them sleep. yknow ? whether its holding and rocking some of the younger kids to help them sleep better, or maybe one of the kids has something on their mind that wont let them sleep, i feel like Moon was actually really good at his job.

im firm on believing the DCA is actually good at taking care of kids due to what cassie says about the AR sun/moon plushies!! theyre good at their job!!! to a degree LOLLLL

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter?

i interpret them as two separate beings in one body!! i like this interpretation, it feels more fun to work with and is oddly cathartic? emotional? interesting? theres just so much emotion that comes with sharing a body with an entire other identity, knowing that you and them are tightly knit together, whether you want to be or not, because no matter what, you have them, and they have you, and you're stuck with one another. and yes, you and them are different, but you bleed into one another at some parts, at some angles the yellow and blue smudge, and sometimes you struggle to see where 'you' starts, and 'they' begin.

i love love love thinking about how they experience sharing a body with one another, how they maneuver the world and their thoughts. ITS SO FUN!!! THEY MAKE ME SICK.

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

WAITER!!! WAITER!! MORE PRISSY BITCH SUN PLEASE!!! ill literally never ever get enough of it.

17. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

this is ENTIRELY just me, but seeing the dca act all suave and sexy feels mischaracterizing. this tweet literally captures how i feel perfectly

like OB VI OUS LY have fun and do what ur little heart desires, never ever am i gonna bash someone for DOING THAT, but whenever i see them drawn sexily and with abs or anything like that it just makes me wonder if we have the same character in mind. you dont get them like i do. we are playing with our touys in different corners.

18. anything you're looking forward to?

THE MOON NIGHTLIGHT. i have the sun one already and i NEED the moon one so he isnt alone :( i hope they fix up the coloring on the moon one, bc the dark bit looks so weird and messy (im assuming it only looks like that since it was the first look at him, but still!!! i think they should just make him all white, and not make the NIGHT LIGHT dark in some areas, lol???)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

this is one of those rare times where i DO think i would get along with them, or at least Sun!! i feel like id definitely be super duper anxious first meeting them, like the enthusiasm levels are a bit jarring, but i really do feel like i could get along with Sun (and maybe Moon ... if this is pre-virus, then more likely, but if its while Moon has the virus .. .. . . . . .. .. .. .. mauybe.)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

if i think about the dca and their room and state of neglect for too long i get sick. i get insane and curl into a little ball like a roly poly. they make me so sick. i hate them i need to bite them.

also genderfunny aroace dca forever and ever. ok? 🫶

#orig. post #IM SO SORRY IF THIS SHOWS UP IN THE TAGS I DONT WANT TO PUT SLASHES IN EVER INSTANCE OF THEIR NAMES ☹️ #OP OF THIS ASK GAME THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS THEY WERE SO FUN TO ANSWER!!!!! #it got my brain thinking :3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

2020′s unwieldy art retrospective!

#exclamation point b/c i just like it. spent the year vibing drawing wildly niche; wildly selfindulgent content #which is what i've always ever been doing but that's just been distilled more than ever this year [alembic emoji] #corned beef #like hehe at the note from last year's like wow all this quant art. well here we go This year. it's Quant Time it just is #the incredibly niche Experience we have had w/that content and our response to it.... #which speaking of. thanks billions for giving us another person for winston to potentially kiss even if it also tried to take 1 away (no <3) #me with riawin like My Brain Is Like Bzzzzz My Heart Is Like Wow.....i find that Expressed here #while these Are accurate month to month of course they're not guaranteed in chronological order within that month but #i Did start the year w/[mspaint b/c sai wasn't cooperating] Cozy Tayston and it was like well soph will enjoy this b/c We Are Out Here so #why don't i make this orange for them especially since i don't usually use orange in snart but ought to do that more #And Then I Did That More lmao...much more orange this year. and then pinks and purples and blues as always #another thing that was brand new is i think i've been doing Annual Art Retrospectives for...at least 5 yrs? maybe 6? idk #and i'm fairly sure this is the first time i've drawn At Least One Thing Per Month. usually there's at least 1 month w/just Nothing #and i truly love the consistency for me lol. february rly only had pre-s5 winstache practice but that's fine. and i like that drawing. #didn't realize i'd drawn Purple Indignant Winston fully twice this year till a good minute after finishing the 2nd one lmao classic..... #i also like tiny bisexual/nonbilingual ''no'' winston so much that he's Uncompressed. full view experience [at 540px display width] here #drew important On The Mouth kisses....idk it's all just labors of niche self-indulgent love lol i hope it is evident.... #just affectionate stuff here through and through #b/c again literally All i will bother drawing for is [niche self-indulgent fanart] but. distilling it further with time.... #of course i'm Communicating via that self indulgent niche fanart. you may Look At my feelings. im l'autistique babeyyy #oh and re-looking at it i should point out the ventures in Drawing Hair New Ways this year as well. wanted to do it and needed to do it for #rian's hair and shoutout to al pommegrantaire's art for Inspiration there. go look at their stuff i Just reblogged their own 2020 wrapup #last thing i drew having been to whip smthing up re: my boy since 200..9? mytho is extra niche even for me & i probably am the only person #feeling the Vibe of said drawing since i dreamt it & all but it is a v Nice one to leave off on i think. joy self-love/realization sublime.. #anyways looking this over like :) it's always like yep all Love put into this stuff but idk if it being So so niche is making that stand out #even more for myself here lmao. wildly small audience so i know when i'm posting it i'm basically talking to myself & some kindred spirits #already said it was a Top 5 Important Work but had a great time doing some outright fanart for soph's fics as well...june sure is Soft #out of Tags Room to do anything categorical oh well...save those tags for a Reblog. god hope this doesn't Error & nerf my tags essay #and then there's jughead spinel. hi weirdo

[backseatloversz]

hmmmmmmm. it is here

anderson & perry teacher headcanons :)

idk if theyre teachers in the same universe at the same time but i love the idea of either of them teaching, obviously in part having been inspired by mr keating and experiencing firsthand how much a good teacher can impact u and wanting to give other kids that experience

if it IS the same universe they probably work in the same district bc u know, they live together, its probably closest for both

todd would work at an elementary/middle school and neil would work at a high school (or maybe they'd both work at the same k/6-12 school) so a few years later when a kid would say they went to x school neil would ask if they had mr anderson n then would talk abt him a bit :) (regardless of if they said yes or no. he just likes to talk abt him)

in a more modern au both r those lovely teachers that have a pride flag somewhere in their room<33

so ofc a lot of kids would feel safe around them + come talk to them abt anything/bein queer :)

both in an only one of them is a teacher (and both are alive and together) au loves to brag/talk about the other; my friend/roommate/partner/husband (depends) is a poet is an actor guys he is so talented and cool ..,.,. :-)

speaking of! individually ;

mister teacher todd anderson :)

i feel like he'd be fine teaching any grade, moving around schools a lot, and/or being the sub everyone loves

he still does writing on the side/as a hobby ofc

at a middle school level he'd want to teach english, but idk im one to bet he'd be able (or might have to lmao idk how teaching works) to teach any core subject

at a high school level he would love to not only teach core english but also at least one of the lang/lit electives like poetry or uh. what else is there. speech & debate. women in literature

ok maybe not speech & debate. or maybe! maybe he took that type of class in college & gained public speaking skills/confidence or whatever and wants to spread the good word to quiet high school kids that public speaking is a learned skill!

he is the kind of teacher that, as a core teacher, lots of ppl know and lots of ppl love + respect

feel like he'd run a club. not sure which one

aside from the normal amount of rowdy teens/tweens, a lot of teachers r like holy shit mr anderson ur classes are always so ... good. like. everyone in them. and hes like lmao yeah i dont just make them memorize information i teach them in a way so they'll enjoy/appreciate the subject. plus two sided respect and trust and stuff!

in sum good kind teacher todd anderson

alright now mister teacher neil perry :)

he's Smart i'll bet he could teach any of the core subjects

or again maybe at some point he'd have to. idk how teaching works

his core topic of choice'd be english though

i wanna say second would be science bc even though he never cared abt it his parents ensured he exceeded at it so now hes super science smart</3 maybe he'll try to give kids a better experience with it idk! and ofc

thats not whats important whats important is him being a theater teacher

at a high school level btw. for some reason i can only picture him as a high school teacher

he did do acting/was involved in the acting/theater world for at least a few years prior but then decided he wanted to combine that w/ his desire to leave a positive impact on younger ppl who wanted to get into acting!!

(or just kids who needed an art credit whatever everyones welcome)

he'd probably want to stay at the same high school for a while, yk build a community + familiarity with how the program runs there and ofc get to know the kids and then their younger siblings two or five or ten years later

he has ... a very strong voice. he's not mean by any means and, being the theater teacher, he'd never put kids in situations they don't wanna be in, but his voice is very good for (lovingly (sometimes)) shouting at the juniors messing around on the clear opposite end of the theater

freshmen are always scared of him. but not in a bad way simply in an intimidated way. upperclassmen say dont worry hes cool i swear :)

it is very important to me to reiterate this for neil specifically he def would have a lil pride flag in a cupholder in his office in a more modern au

kids come 2 his office to cry. u know. as u do in theater. and he is good at handling crying teenagers

ok i think thats all ive got for now

#this is over 700 words and i will not be apologizing or putting it under a cut #however i will say #long post #dead poets society #dps headcanons #todd anderson #neil perry #anderperry #a lil #cowboy posts

[randombubblegum]

as much as i hate looking back and being like “omg awsten planned it the whole time” (bc tbh i am Tired of awsten and his schemes please just give me the product i’m gonna pay for) i do think the whole “deleting friendly reminder” thing was a total plan and he still has it somewhere. obviously bc he posted demos from it?? like it was never actually deleted. but with the theme of fandom being “the strangest dream of all” and middle/end of GH (idk where ice bath falls on the track list) being where he “wakes up” it would make sense that we’d revert back to friendly reminder era. not saying we’re getting those demos as real songs (altho i would love that) but just music like that you know? i also think it would be a way for awsten to crawl back to pop punk with his tail between his legs and play it off as “it was always the plan to do this obviously if fandom and GH were wild dreams they’re gonna sound crazy and different.” like i know and you know that’s not what happened, GH’s tik tok bait flopped, but i can see everyone on twitter being like “ommgggg GENIUS king shit he plans every move” yadda yadda. i kinda like the idea bc whatever it takes to get us back to old awsten, if we need to pretend the last two albums were fever dreams then fine.

this has just been my theory since the whole “GH was a nighttime album and parx5 is a day time album” and “ice bath being the wake up moment” but it’s a theory im clinging to out of pure hope lol

ya im totally in agreement with u here. although honestly i DO think he fully scrapped friendly reminder BECAUSE he released the demo versions yknow? like ya he definitely did not delete the album files, obvi. i think he said he deleted everything but the finished mastered tracks which presumably is what we got on the demo album. but i dont think hes ever gonna polish up the demo tracks weve had for 3 years at that point to release as “new songs” because even for him that would be desperate and pathetic…… which is like sad bc the demo songs are leagues better than anything on gh LMAO

i TOTALLY agree with you that i am sicklkk to bastard death of this “awsten had the WHOLE THING planned out years in advance!” like no. he did not. he does plan things and drop hints but theyre never as solid and concrete as people up his ass want to make them out to be LMAO like more often than not he just tailors stuff to reference things in the past and not the other way around, which is like fine, or else his “hints” are so vague and irrelevant as to be throwaways. like the phrase “next greatest hits” hidden in the fandom booklet…. that literally means nothing!!!!! and it could so easily be discarded and ignored to fade away forever if he decided g WASNT greatest hits lol

but anyway ya, u know and i know that gh flopped and his tiktok virality bait failed completely and he is SCRAMBLING to make up for it. hence crawling back to pop punk (and maybe hopeless records) w his tail between his legs…….. i can totally see him pulling something like that but honestly id be shocked if he ACTUALLY made reference to “we are doing friendly reminder again” bc that would fly in the face of his whole “NEVER GO BACK NOSTALGIA IS POISON FOR ART” uppity bullshit lol. and honestly with what weve heard of funeral grey it doesnt aound anything like friendly reminder (in a bad way…) so i dont have a ton of hope…… but i wish he would ☹️ regardless no matter what he does ppl are gonna look for ways to go “omgggg genius king of planning 🥺” even tho hes flying by the seat of his pants here

#this got so long #what was i trying to say. oh ya JUSTICE FOR FRIENDLY REMINDER AND THE DEMOS #mail time! #neg

[hello-yue-here]

thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

#liv talks about writing #liv talks ab fanfic #liv wips #liv fics #i love sharing my writing #especially when i have a bit of a block going on with well.... every fic #maybe this will give me inspiration!!! #i love sharing my writing im proud of these little snippets and i hope you all likes them as well :) #atla #avatar: the last airbender

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

#amandathoughts #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acofas #a court of frost and starlight #sarah j maas #freye #rhysand #nesta archeron #tamlin #lucien #cassian #late night thoughts #acotar rant #nesta stan #updated with memes #just to break up the novel i wrote #feyre #feyre archeron #high lady feyre #amandabookthoughts