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roosterforme · 3 months

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Covering the Classics Part 2 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Anna knows her new coworkers want her to meet their friend Bob. But she's too hesitant, afraid to get herself in a situation where she's pining after someone new. During a spur of the moment shopping trip, Bob is delighted to bump into a woman he can only describe as adorable. Too bad he's never been great at the follow through.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, eventually 18+

Length: 3600 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

By the end of her first week teaching, Anna had learned many things, almost like she was a student herself. That nice, secluded ladies' restroom she found was secluded because one of the toilets regularly overflowed. The coffee in the teacher's lounge was actually disgusting, but the donuts were available every day. And Dr. Pham from the sociology department asked her out three times on Thursday, apparently because she wore her hair in two braids like Princess Anna from Frozen, a mistake she wouldn't be making again.

And she was so tired. She started to lose her voice on Friday morning from how much she had to talk in her lectures. She took the wrong notes to class with her and had to improvise an hour long class on Emily Dickinson, because she was too afraid to give one of her students the keys to her office door. So she sweated it out, but managed to sound somewhat coherent as she dismissed her class at noon.

She pressed her lips together. If she ran to get her sandwich and peanuts really quickly, she could join her new friends by the weird tree. After two days of joining them for lunch, she really liked both of them. She just didn't want to get their hopes up about their friend Bob whom she was supposedly perfect for.

Anna wasn't perfect for anybody. And frankly this Bob guy sounded like a dreamboat, which just made it worse. He'd probably laugh after taking one look at her, and if she opened her mouth and tried to talk to him, he'd run away scared. She already turned down their invitation to go to the Navy hangout bar on Saturday night, citing that she was too exhausted. But it was really because she needed to stand firm with herself and do everything she could to protect her feelings from now on.

After another few seconds of contemplation, she went to her office and got her lunch before heading to the quad. But today it was just Jessica there eating lasagna and garlic bread from a plastic container while Anna's stomach growled in jealousy.

"Hi," she greeted after she chewed up a bite of her perfect looking lunch. "It's just us today. Dr. Rosenthal apparently had a bunch of questions about the math curriculum and took Advanced Calculus out for a long working lunch at Covewood."

Anna had barely been in the city for more than two weeks, but even she had heard of Covewood. "That's a five star restaurant. A romantic date night hot spot."

"Mmhmm," Jessica agreed as she sunk her perfect teeth into the garlic bread.

Anna realized her own experience was fueling her next sentences, but she said them anyway. "Isn't she married? Her husband is okay with that?" she asked softly.

Advanced Physics burst into laughter. "Bradley loves Dr. Rosenthal. He's in his seventies, and he's one of the sweetest people at the school. They have him over for dinner sometimes. He actually did my tenure review."

"Oh," Anna replied, embarrassed that she could hardly relate to someone who trusted their spouse. "That actually sounds really nice."

"Hey, are you sure you don't want to come out tomorrow night? No pressure. I just think you'd have a fun time. The guys are all sweethearts."

Anna looked down at herself and her sad sandwich. She didn't even have money to spare for a beer that she would probably drink half of before she wanted to leave. And it didn't matter if the guys were sweet, she knew her two new friends would be champing at the bit to see how she and this Bob person interacted. "Not this weekend," she replied. "Maybe another night."

Instead of socializing, she spent her Saturday window shopping in North Park. She had a budget of exactly zero dollars, but she could entertain herself for hours this way. She gasped when she found a two story bookshop that claimed it contained new and used and rare finds, and she ran across the street to get to it.

It was darker and quieter inside than the sunlit, traffic filled streets, and when Anna took a deep breath, it reminded her of a cozy library. The clerk behind the register waved instead of speaking, so really, it just kept getting better. When she noticed the wooden sign on the wall informing her that The Classics were upstairs, she made her way up the creaky steps to a loft area with row after row of tall shelves.

"Perfect," she muttered, walking to the end of the open space and turning down the last tight row of bookshelves. She wasn't alone, but the only other occupant was a tall, slim man with broad shoulders and tidy, sandy colored hair. He seemed to be so absorbed by what he was reading, he didn't look up when Anna reached for an enormous copy of Shakespeare plays.

She almost moaned out loud; it was annotated and contained every play she had to teach in her Thursday morning English 300 class. It was well worn, and the cover felt nice in her hands. Shit. Of course it was seventy bucks. That was more than she spent on groceries last week. Maybe she could expense it to the department? She should probably know how to do that. Maybe she could text one of her new friends and ask if that was allowed.

But she slid the book back into place as a Vonnegut she didn't yet own caught her eye. She reached out for it with a steady hand, but as soon as her fingertips met the spine, a much larger hand, complete with graceful yet calloused fingers, wrapped around hers. Everything suddenly smelled clean like soap and also intriguingly like tea leaves. And then she heard a voice next to her ear that made her bite down on her lip as a ripple of pleasure teased her spine.

"Oh. I'm so sorry."

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Bob had never been to this store before, and he wasn't really planning on stopping by today, but Mickey dragged him in and then ditched him for the children's section at the back of the store. Bob looked around downstairs, but as a poetry fan, he found that section to be seriously lacking, so he headed up to the loft instead.

He considered himself well-read until he realized how many classic novels he'd never even heard of before. And they all sounded really depressing. Which was kind of the point, he supposed, but if he was going to get something new to read, he was in the mood for a more upbeat story. Maybe a romance or a European adventure he could get lost in. Maybe a sweeping, romantic tale where the nice guy gets the girl for once.

After several tries, he still wasn't finding anything close to what he was hoping for. As he re-shevled The Bell Jar, he decided to just reach for a book at random. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut? Maybe that would be more his speed. But when he reached for it, his fingers wrapped around a soft hand complete with glossy, burgundy fingernails instead of the actual book. He jumped an inch in the air, because he hadn't even been aware anyone else was in the aisle with him, let alone a woman who smelled like sweet perfume.

"Oh. I'm so sorry," he stammered, already mortified. Then she turned to look at him over her shoulder, and he wanted to jump off the loft railing and run out the shop door. There was only one word to accurately describe her: adorable. She had dark red hair done up in a messy braid, big brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles across her nose. "Oh."

"It's okay," she replied softly as she tried to hand him the book. "You can have it."

He shook his head, completely distracted, as he kept finding more things about her face that he liked. A grin curled along his lips as he said, "No, it's all yours. Really. I was just looking for something new to read."

She glanced down at the cover and then back at his face, and maybe he was imagining things, but it looked like she was blushing a bit. "Wow. I wasn't really expecting anyone else to be interested in reading a sarcastic take on global destruction on a sunny Saturday afternoon."

His eyebrows shot up. "Is that what it's about?"

Her laughter was also adorable. "Yeah, I mean... it's Vonnegut," she said with a bit of an eye roll. Oh no. She knew what she was talking about, and he kind of didn't. He was probably about to sound like an idiot.

Bob cleared his throat and pointed at a random spine to buy himself time. "What's this one about?"

She cocked her head slightly to the side and said, "Two murders and a kidnapping."

"Oh," he said with a little laugh. "No thanks. How about this one?"

He wasn't even looking at the books now at all, preferring to watch her facial expression change as she checked another title. "Oh, that one's good. Also about murder."

He chuckled and pointed at another. "This one?"

She smirked and looked up at him. "Jealousy, rage, hatred, and also a lot of murder."

"Wow," Bob replied with what he was sure was a stupid looking smile. "I was hoping for something a little tamer? Perhaps less murder-y? Maybe I should go down and look in the children's section?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and listened to her laugh again.

"I could recommend a few books with little to no murder. Maybe even a happy ending," she told him, and he watched as she pushed her braid over her shoulder.

"I'll believe it when I see it," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. To his shock and amazement, her gaze followed his movement, and her blush returned.

When her tongue darted out between her lips, Bob could feel his heart beating in his temples. Her brown eyes drifted back up to his face, and he wondered if this was how Jake or Bradley used to feel when girls paid attention to them at the bar. It was decidedly really exciting.

He was going to be bold like his friends. He was going to ask her for her number. Maybe he'd see if she wanted to help him shop for some books, and he could buy her that horrible Vonnegut that she wanted, and then he'd ask her very nicely for her number.

"Floyd!"

Bob watched you jump as Mickey's voice echoed through the store.

"Floyd! Let's go!"

"S-Sorry," Bob muttered, stepping past her and heading for the loft railing. "Just... hang on for one second?"

As soon as Mickey looked up and saw him, he said, "We gotta go, man. I got some books for my nephews, but we'll be late to grab a drink before D&D if we don't leave now. You know how she gets when we're late." He was shaking a bag of books and heading for the door.

Bob did know for a fact that Jessica got annoyed when they showed up late because they got hungry or distracted on the way to The Hard Deck. "Just give me a minute," he told Mickey, but he was already outside.

He swiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and turned around to find the aisle empty. Oh no. He checked the next row of shelves, and the next, and the next, until he got all the way to the stairs, but the adorable redhead was nowhere to be found. And he had no idea what her name was.

"Hello?" he called out softly, checking each aisle again until he was back where he started. Bob might have believed that he imagined the whole entire exchange with an attractive woman, except that there was one book propped up against the others right where he and she had been standing.

"A Room With a View by E. M. Forster," he mumbled as he picked it up and turned it over in his hands. He glanced around again, but she was well and truly gone, leaving nothing except for what seemed like a book recommendation.

"Floyd!"

Bob sighed and tipped his head back in frustration. "Coming!"

He descended the stairs slowly, head swiveling in every direction, searching for brown eyes and a braid while he held the book. Gone. He paid for A Room With a View and headed outside to find Mickey looking quite annoyed. What he didn't see was the mystery girl watching him from the far end of the loft.

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"She was real," Bob insisted as he held his glass of ginger ale a little tighter. "Just because you were too busy yelling doesn't mean I made her up in my mind. She had red hair and brown eyes."

Mickey gave him a skeptical look. "That's actually a really rare combination. And I know for a fact you happen to have an excellent imagination, my friend."

Bob cradled his forehead in his hand. "Why didn't I ask for her name and number?" Then he paused. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. There's no way she would have agreed to give it to me."

He thought about the book he bought sitting on the front seat of his truck next to his dice bag and character sheet, and he considered just going home for the night. Maybe he could start to read the book. Maybe he'd feel like writing.

Then he felt an arm slip around his waist. "Hi, Jessica," he said as he blushed when he looked down at Jake's petite girlfriend. A second later, Bradley's wife was next to him as well, and Bob realized they were wearing matching smirks.

"Hey, Bob," Jessica replied, giving him a little squeeze. "We were just wondering if you happened to like redheads."

Mickey snickered before he tipped his beer bottle back and finished the drink. "He loves them. Daydreams about them."

Bob shot him a withering look. "She was real."

"Who was real?" Bradley's wife asked as her husband came up behind her and set his chin on her shoulder. Great, now he was going to have a full audience of people informed about his embarrassing afternoon of not even knowing how to ask a woman what her name was.

"There was a cute girl at the bookstore in North Park earlier," he muttered. "She had red hair, and I fumbled the ball."

Bradley chuckled. "You know what your problem is, right? You're too nice. Sugar met me when I was an absolute fuckboy, and she fell hard."

"I've been having a decade long lapse of judgement," she replied, and Bradley kissed her neck. "Don't listen to him, Bob. Girls love nice guys."

But Bob knew they didn't. Even the woman from the bookstore dodged him after approximately five minutes of flirting. If you could even call that flirting. He finished his ginger ale, and said, "We need to go. It's almost time for D&D. I'll drive."

Mickey nodded and said, "I'm ready." He could probably tell Bob had reached his limit with this conversation. His friend may be an extrovert to the extreme, but he was good at recognizing when Bob needed a break.

Jessica nodded as well and patted him on the chest before she pranced off into Jake's open arms. They shared the most adorable looking kisses before Jake straightened out her glasses and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Have her home by midnight, Bob!" he called as he released her.

Bob nodded wishing there was someone besides the elderly woman who lived in the duplex next to him that cared if he was out past midnight or not. Even though he always looked forward to playing Dungeons & Dragons, he kind of wanted to head home and call it an early night. Nothing sounded as good as sending an email to Nat before reading his new book. But he would wait until later, and maybe he would even be in the mood to get his laptop out.

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Anna went back to her studio apartment empty handed. Well, that wasn't quite true. She didn't buy any books, but she did splurge on a six dollar bottle of wine which would probably taste disgusting. She just hoped it would help her sleep through the night after reading some sad poetry and eating a piece of toast for dinner.

That guy from the bookstore was going to linger in her mind for a long time whether she wanted him to or not. She was more attracted to him after five minutes in his presence than she was to Kevin at any point in the past five years. And if she was going to start thinking about Kevin, she was probably going to cry.

The toast was good, but the wine was bad. And she did cry a little bit. She was never going to get attached to the idea of being in a relationship ever again. She was never going to have herself that level of intimacy just to have it ripped away. She wouldn't allow it. Relying on herself would have to be enough. Handsome strangers with muscular, veiny arms and cute glasses who made her laugh were not part of the plan. That's why she ducked behind the end cap after she left him a book she thought he might like. She watched him buy it for himself, which left her almost breathless. If she allowed herself to, she could picture him sitting in a coffee shop sipping some tea and reading that book.

"Enough," she whispered, vision a little sloppy from the wine. She opened up the website called PoetsAmongUs, read a bookmarked collection about how good it would feel to be loved completely, and passed out.

The realization that she was going to have to spend all of Sunday afternoon getting ready for the week was made slightly easier by the fact that she only had four hundred square feet of space to clean. And then she thought about the beautiful home she once had in New Jersey, and she had to finish the bottle of wine to help her get through her notes on The Great Gatsby.

She was still thinking about that hot guy with the glasses on Monday when she grabbed a donut from the teacher's lounge. Indulging in a little fantasy here and there about being loved and cared for wouldn't be so bad. And putting his face to it just made it even sexier. When she wasn't teaching, she let her mind wander to some possibilities that would never happen again. Pretty eyes, lean muscles, soft looking hair, pink cheeks. He probably had nice friends, too. He probably never cheated on anything in his life.

"Hey, Anna? Are you alright?"

She looked up from her bag of peanuts and realized she'd been so deep in thought, she wasn't paying attention to the lunch conversation. "I'm sorry," she replied, fighting the urge to groan. She wasn't very good at this stuff and should have probably just eaten lunch in her office like she did the past few days. The fact that it was Wednesday and she was still distracted was concerning to her.

"Don't apologize. You just seem lost in thought," said Jessica as she ate another perfect looking lunch.

"Do you want some chips and hummus? Bradley packed me too much food today," her other friend said. And of course he did, because he sounded like a damn dream.

Anna ate a few chips and sighed. "Have either of you ever had your heart smashed to bits?" She didn't really mean to say that out loud, but now that she had, she was met with an awkward silence that she wanted to run away from.

"Yeah," Advanced Calculus replied softly. "And I did it to myself."

"Not my heart as much as my hopes and dreams," Advanced Physics added. "But for me, I think that was much worse."

Now the silence that followed wasn't quite as painful, but Anna was still a little embarrassed. "Yeah. All of the above." She cleared her throat and tried to think of something else to talk about, but her mind was still on the bookstore. "Hey, why didn't you tell me that San Diego is full of hot guys? They are literally everywhere. I went window shopping in North Park and got sucked into a bookstore, and I bumped into a guy with glasses who smelled so nice."

"Ohhh, what did he look like?"

Anna sighed. "You know how you can just tell a guy is really strong even though he doesn't have bulging muscles?"

"Mmhmm."

"He was like that." Anna bit into her sandwich and chewed it slowly. "Pretty eyes, kind of the color of a lake. Sandy hair. Wire glasses. Soft spoken. He smelled like a cup of tea."

A few seconds later, she was snapped back from her drifting thoughts as Advanced Calculus asked, "Did you say this was at a bookstore in North Park?"

"Yes," Anna replied with a nod.

"Did you get his name?" Advanced Physics asked.

"No," she answered, still embarrassed over the fact that she hid from him.

And then she thought she was going to get whiplash again.

"Was he about six feet tall?"

"Was he slim but not skinny?"

"Did he blush when he smiled?"

"Will you please come to the Hard Deck this weekend?"

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Bradley is so proud of the fact that Sugar fell for him when they were in college. Beer Boy just gets better with age. This little Bob and Anna meet cute might spell disaster when they figure it all out! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 3

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kookslastbutton · 10 months

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in your arms ༓ jjk (m)

✑ Summary: You wake up next to your boyfriend for the first time since moving in with him.

Pairing: boyfriend!jungkook x girlfriend!reader

AU/Genres: pwp, smut, fluff, established relationship, one shot

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 1,680

Warnings: cussing, jk teasing oc, soft pouty jk, of is restless sleeper which makes jk lowkey sad, sexual content

sexual warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, morning s*x, kind of rough s*x, unprotected s*x (Don't be like them!) , d*try talk, m*ssionary, b*gging, b**b kink?, sl*t calling once (tame)

Now Playing: A Thousand Years

A/N: needed dometic koo after listening to piano guys play thousand years. I have not seen Twilight but I like the sound track lol. Hope you enjoy! 💞

"You snore." Is the first thing he says to you, eyeing you from the other side of the bed. He's downright adorable with half his face tucked behind the fluffy comforter.

"I do?" You roll on your side. The soft linen brushing against your skin reminds you of your bare state. Last night was the first time you spent the night at Jungook's since moving in. He was a little eager to get you in his bed to say the least.

Jungkook nods in response, eyes still barely peaking out from the covers.

"But...I don't." You smile sheepishly. Many things you're known for doing in bed but snoring was not one of them. You're sure of it. "I definitely don't," you repeat in disbelief. "You're being a little shit again aren't you?"

A grin slowly spreads on your boyfriend's face—his eyes revealing all. What a menace as always. His playful spirit makes you giggle.

"Did you sleep okay?" You yawn and rub your tired eyes.

Jungkook shimmies himself closer to you. His nose is inches away from your the nape of your neck. "No," he says. "You were so far away from me the whole night."

The comforter he was tugging on earlier is now folded under his arm. From this angle, you can trace every muscle on his inked arm, so you do, with the tips of your fingers. "I'm sorry koo, I'm such a restless sleeper. I didn't kick you did I?"

Since a child you've never been able to sleep in one position. You were always starfishing, flopping from side to side, or genuinely just in the twistiest pretzel-like positions possible. Now and then you'd punch or knee at the bed too, depending how vivid the dream you were having was. That's why for the majority of your life you've slept alone.

Jungkook on the otherhand could sleep anywhere in the same position. All he needed was a good grip on his blankets or in this case, you, and he'd fall fast alseep until the morning. But you were not an easy one to snuggle with, causing him to pout until all hours of the night.

"I'm okay, but can we try cuddling or spooning again tonight? Wanna fall asleep with the girl of my dreams in my arms." Your heart does about ten somersaults. Ever since you hit 6 months, Jungkook's been begging you to move in with him and now that you've finally agreed, he's been coordinating your new living conditions down to the last detail.

He's also stopped refering to the apartment as his—it's now our apartment, our haven, our home.

You remove your hand from his arm to fluff through his messy hair. Something about the silky texture makes you unable to stop yourself. Jungkook likes it too. "Of course we can." Your face drops a few shades. "But I'm not sure if it'll be any different from last night. I might hurt you."

In that very moment your boyfriend props himself up on an elbow and leans himself over your body just enough for you to fall on your back. "No you won't," he insists. The same inked arm curls around your waist, pushing your chests together. "I'll hold ya down this time."

Your cheeks warm up from the gesture.

"What's got you blushing doll?"

"Just that you're everything I was hoping for and more." You wrap both arms around his neck, his lips ghosting over yours. "I love you so much." It's hardly a whisper but Jungkook has no trouble hearing.

"You know I was thinking similar," he says, placing a light kiss to the side of your neck. You hum. This will likely be a regular occurrence now that it's Jungkook you'll be waking up to every morning. His affection knows no bounds.

"You're all mine," he continues, tracing circles on your waist with his thumb. Even with the blankets shielding your naked body from his, you feel every imprint of his touch. "I'm all yours, too. And even if you do end up kicking me in your sleep, I'll alway be back for more because I'm in love with you....just try not to kick my dick though, that would kinda be a bummer for both of us." He shoots a quick wink and you snort.

"Sorry," you cover part of your face. "That was so ugly of me." Jungkook's heard you snort a thousand times but you've still a little self conscious about it.

"Its cute."

"Stop, you dont have to say that."

"It's cute because I like making you laugh and seeing you happy make—"

"Makes you horny." You finish the sentence, cackling at his suddenly doe-eyed expression. "I can feel your erection on my thigh Kook."

"Oh," he looks down at himself. Did he think he was being smooth and all trying to hide it and all? You're boyfriend's cute but a good liar he is not. "Well can I stick it in or not?" He looks at you again, expectanty.

"Kook!" You just had sex last night and to be honest you're a little sore from it as well as flopping around in your sleep all night.

Jungkook however is imposible to refuse with his pouty lips and big, ferocious eyes. He simultaneously wants to cuddle you to death and fuck you silly every second of the day. You ask him which he wants to do, he will always want both....at least twice in one go.

"I'll make it quick, promise. And it'll feel good too."

Once you give the okay Jungkook climbs on top of you from under the sheets. You spread your thighs, allowing him to slip in—which he easily does given the fact that he wasn't the only one all worked up.

"Fuck," he breaths above you, hands gripping the mattress on either side of your head. "Such a perfect pussy you know that? Always so wet for me."

"Yes Kook," you let out a small whine. Jungkook's dick always makes you so full so fast. "Fuck me."

"You want it huh?" He teases even though it's him who started this. "You want my big cock to stretch your tiny pussy? Make you scream? Say you want it baby. Need to hear it from you."

You concede to your boyfriend and tell him how much you want it. "Mhm please, need your cock Kook. Want it so bad, want it to make me come, please."

"Greedy little thing aren't you," he seethes, thrusting into you at a slow pace. "Just got fucked three times last night and still want more. What does that make you hm?"

"A slut." Jungkook growls when the words leave your lips. He ends up fucking into you faster, loving the sight of your breasts bounce up and down at the quickened pace. You move to grip onto both boobs but he growls again, letting you know his obvious disapproval.

"Wrap your legs around my waist," he grunts. "And don't you dare think about covering yourself up. Wanna see every bit of you."

You do as he says and he sinks further in you, cock finding that sweet spot at the same time. "Fuckfuckfuck," he chants. "So needy aren't you? Swallowing my cock like it's nothing for your pussy. Who taught you how to take cock this well huh?"

"Jungkook!" You scream when you feel the knot get stronger in the pit of your stomach. You boyfriend smirks and starts kissing up and down your neck.

"Say it again. Who taught you to take cock this well?"

"You—you Jungkook, you did. Please, gonna come soon." You claw his muscular back, knowing your high is about to come swift and fast. You hope to god he lets you come too. Last night he made you wait and wait. You had to keep begging him until he was fully satisfied. You squirted a lot and it was hot but you can't do that again so soon.

"Come for me baby," he coos. "Show me what I taught you back when all you knew how to do was give head. Gonna soak my cock now aren't you? I'm already so wet from your slick, fuck."

"Jungkook—oh god," you moan one last time before finally releasing. Your boyfriend let's out a deep, breathy groan and continues to thrust into for the sake of his own high. "Kook, please, please tell me you're close. It's almost too much."

"Shit just hold tight for me a little longer baby, I'm so close." He fucks into a few more times then spills himself into your warm cunt. You both bask in post-orgasmic blish until your boyfriend leans his head down to capture your lips. It's a bit of a sloppy kiss but still fiery and passionate.

He slips off you after a minute or two of making out, hair sticking to his forehead. "I'm so glad you said yes to moving in."

"What? You just want me here for the sex?" You pant, playful glimmer in your eye.

Jungkook shakes his head. "Of course not." You move to rest your head on his shoulder. "The sarcasm's nice too."

You roll your eyes. You'll be doing this all over again tonight. Maybe he'll be able to keep you in his arms tonight this time—you truly hope.

A/N: thanks for reading! Lmk your thoughts 💞

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfics #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts scenarios #fic:inyourarms #kookslastbutton

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kachowder · 1 year

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i have so many questions 😵‍💫 why did Chris and reader break up?? I'm addicted to him already and he's now my favorite oc you have (next to apis hehe)

(I’d recommend listening to “Somebody that I used to know” while reading this lil tidbit)

“I’m Sick of your shit Chris.”

Chris? Chris? When was the last time you called him that. That wasn’t his name. It was Christophe. Say Christophe.

Not Chris.

“Yeah? Well maybe if you were smarter you wouldn’t have anything to be sick of.”

This had happened a few times before. Christophe could acknowledge it being primarily his fault. But he wouldn’t tell you that. Nor would he apologize.

“Your jealousy is out of fucken control and you know it!” Your finger stabbed painfully into his chest. He wavered. “That guy you punched was my tutor! You know I was failing that class! I needed his help!”

“You didn’t need Jack shit from that asshole! If you needed help with something you should’ve asked me!”

“I didn’t wanna deal with your bitchy attitude!”

He scoffed.

“Yeah well looks who’s being a bitch now. God you’re so fucken annoying.”

Ah fuck. That definitely wasn’t the right thing to say.

The air was thick. This…was different then your usual arguments and Christophe could tell. The look you gave him made him cringe. An apology was on the tip of his tongue. It was like chewing lead though.

He sighed, his fists clenching and unclenching as you glared at him.

“Look Y/n…I’m-“

“We’re done.”

Fear. Cold, striking fear.

“What?”

Your brows which had been scrunched up, in what his opinion was a cute way, relaxed. Your eyes closed, and the rage that pooled in them was replaced with an apathetic, almost sad, neutrality. You looked…tired. And it made his heart tremor and cry.

“We’re done Chris. I’m done. I can’t handle this anymore.”

Stop.

“I don’t know what happened. You used to be such a wonderful person…”

He still was. He just wanted to keep you safe!

“I loved you so much.”

You still do! Don’t fucken say that! You still loved him and he still loved you so stop fucken talking!

“Now you’re just an asshole. I can’t be around you anymore.”

Don’t say that. Please.

“You make me sick.”

Shut up.

“Shut up.”

You frowned. It was pitiful. Like you were mourning something. Maybe your relationship. There shouldn’t have been anything to mourn though. You weren’t breaking up. You were still-

“It’s over, Christophe.”

“……”

It hurt so much watching you grab your bag and walk away. It burned like someone had dropped hot coal down his throat and into his chest. His heart was aching, and the first few tears were quick to sting his trembling brown eyes. Your figure blurred by the time you made it out the door.

The wall and his fists were battered and bruised within minutes.

He swore he couldn’t breathe.

“Y/n…”

Why didn’t he say anything? He did but it was “shut up.” Instead of “I’m sorry.” He should’ve said sorry. He should’ve gotten on his knees and begged you to give him a second chance. He’d do better. He’d carve it into his chest that he’d do better for you. He’d be the perfect boyfriend.

His pride was too much. Even for him. He was such a fucken coward.

The news that your tutor got busted for harassment towards other students didn’t reach you.

#yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #oc x reader #yandere bully #yandere ex #yandere boyfriend #Christophe oc

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mattslolita · 2 months

Text

psycho killer - c. sturniolo ( 003. )

in which ... a killer is terrorizing the town of boston and charmaine soon realizes she's the final girl in his twisted game.

ghostface!chris x black!fem oc

warnings ; blood , gore , death , eventual smut , angst , ghostface!chris , final girl! oc

"𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒓𝒆!"

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰

news reporters and police officers swarmed the entrance to somerville high school — even with madison riding next to her in officer levine's police car, charmaine still wished she would be swallowed whole by the earth. there was no way she could stand all that.

madison bit her lip as she drummed her fingers along the door, and charmaine could see the girl visibly shaking. she looked up and saw officer levine give both girls a sympathetic smile. "i know it's gonna be difficult for you girls, but you'll be safer here at school."

"yeah, unless we get accused for murder," madison scoffed quietly, glancing over at charmaine, "honestly, there's no way people aren't gonna mob us."

"they've got me on speed dial in case someone does," officer levine reassured the girls. charmaine looked up then, a tired half smile on her face.

"thanks, officer," the older girl mumbled, turning to look at madison, "let's just get this over with, okay?"

madison nodded hesitantly, and both girls hurriedly stepped outside the police the car — no sooner than a minute later just after madison linked her arm with charmaine's the two girls got overran by all the reporters.

"what was the attack like?"

"who attacked you? do you know who it was?"

"did one of you kill morgan maldonado?"

"did you team up to kill her?"

charmaine felt her blood boil at the comment — she was about to lash out right then and there, let every report there have it. but then she saw her friend group hurrying to approach the two girls, causing her nerves to slow just slightly.

charmaine felt her breathing begin to shallow as chris, matt, nick, and alahna all came up to the two girls. noticing her panic, chris was quick to whisk the girl to the side so she could calm herself down. "char, i need you to breathe for me."

looking up at chris, charmaine felt herself slowly beginning to calm as his azure eyes looked into hers worriedly. he steadied her with both his hands on her waist. when charmaine looked past chris though, she could see the eyes of almost all the student body on her. and she began to feel even worse when she saw they were also looking at madison — tears brimmed her eyes.

"hey, it's okay," chris whispered to the girl, pulling her into a hug, holding her close, "i'm so glad you're okay."

"i'm glad madi's okay," charmaine mumbled into chris's shoulder, letting out a breath, "i can't believe morgan's gone."

charmaine pulled away from chris, wiping away at the tears that escaped her eyes. "how're you feeling? i'm so sorry morgan's gone..."

chris's eyes went downcast and her took a grim expression, and the brunette boy shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "me either. we were supposed to go to prom together and everything..."

charmaine's heart ached for her best friend — although she was in love with chris, she knew that morgan made him so happy. she was their number one supporter, and she would always be the one who'd try and resolve it whenever they got into a fight. charmaine was so sad that now she wouldn't get to see them grow together — even if she did wish it was her chris could've grown with.

"oh char," alahna said, coming up towards charmaine and pulling her into a big hug, "i'm so glad you're safe, baby."

"yeah, me too i guess," charmaine said, hugging alahna back tightly, "i'm just glad you weren't there."

"hey, it's my turn now!" nick said, motioning for alahna to let go, causing the curtis girl to roll her eyes and step aside as nick moved to hug her, "i'm so sorry, char."

"it's okay, nick," charmaine said, smiling softly.

"and now everyone's gonna be looking at us like we're criminals," madison scoffed, shaking her head and looking around.

and of course, everyone was staring at the two girls — the whispers weren't so subtle, and charmaine wished she could punch the shit out of everyone. but she knew that wasn't gonna change anything.

"hey, we know you two are innocent," matt said with a frown, rubbing madison's back comfortingly, "especially you madi, you couldn't hurt a fly."

"truth, i've had to kill plenty of bugs for her whenever we hang out," nick added, causing madison to roll her eyes playfully and hit nick's chest.

"we've been best friends for too long for me to ever think any different of you, charm," alahna said, smiling at charmaine softly.

"well, i'm glad you believe me, lans," charmaine smiled weakly, letting out a sigh, "i just wish everyone else could've been there to know the truth."

as the triplets and alahna attempted to comfort the girls, charmaine couldn't help but notice that chris hadn't left her side once — it was like he was rooted in his spot there, and charmaine could feel the butterflies in her stomach at the thought; even though madison was his best friend too, it was like chris was mostly worried about charmaine.

"listen, the bell's about to ring," chris suddenly whispered to charmaine, "you wanna head to class?"

taken aback by the sudden action, charmaine's cheeks warmed and she nodded. "yeah, i guess so. i'll see you guys later."

"yeah, see you later, char," matt said softly, pulling his best friend into a side hug. "just text any of us if you need someone to skip with you, okay?"

"yeah," charmaine said, giving matt a small smile, "thanks matt."

the second oldest triplet smiled at the girl, as chris and her began walking away from the group. charmaine hoped either nick or matt would walk madison to class, being that alahna and madison aren't as close yet, and she didn't want there to be tension between them. charmaine met alahna and the triplets before she met madison, so naturally she was closer to alahna — but she loved both the girls the same regardless, and she hoped they could get along with each other.

the walk to their class started off silent, until charmaine caught chris sneaking glances at her. "okay, what is it, chris?"

chris sighed, fully turning to charmaine, both of them having stopped in the hallway. chris ran a hand through his hair again. "i'm just really sorry i couldn't be there for you, chari."

charmaine caught herself smiling at the use of the nickname — whilst everyone else either called her char or even charm, only chris had ever called her chari, which was the combination of her first and middle name. it made her feel special in a way, especially since he never had any nicknames like that for morgan.

"it's better you weren't there, actually," charmaine laughed humorlessly, "otherwise that's another friend i would've lost."

"oh, so are you saying i can't protect you?" chris joked with a grin, causing charmaine to roll her eyes playfully, "i'm a lacrosse player, i could easily beat his ass."

charmaine laughed. "mhm, playing lacrosse doesn't make you strong, chris!"

both teens laughed before a serious expression took over chris's face, and he folded his arms across his chest, looking down at charmaine — she raised an eyebrow at him as he narrowed his eyes at her slightly. "you do know i'm always gonna be there, right charmaine?"

charmaine should not be finding what chris is doing attractive, but she does — after all, morgan's not here anymore. wow, she was so horrible for even thinking something like that. she was a horrible friend.

"yeah, i know, chris," charmaine answered slowly, glancing up at him, unable to maintain the eye contact.

"okay."

as the two teens continued walking with each other, charmaine couldn't stop pondering on their moment they shared just now — of course, it was only something between really close friends. there was nothing more that lingered there, and charmaine needed to remind herself of that.

when they reached charmaine's first class, she sighed and stopped at the door, turning to face chris. he looked down at her with a small grin, causing charmaine to roll her eyes. "i'll see you later, chris."

pulling the boy into one last hug for the time being, she hurriedly walked into her first class of the day. all the while, with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the door frame, chris had watched the girl's every movement, never taking his eyes off of her. charmaine sat down in her seat and set her bag beside her, and she ran a hand through her hair just then. chris's jaw ticked at the looks she received, and he knew that she'd probably need to get away from them all soon — charmaine looked towards the door and saw chris still there; when she gave him a reassuring smile, is when he finally decided to walk away from where he was head to his own classroom.

💌 lil

i'm giggling i love overprotective chris🤭 a little bit jealous chris in the next part😏

@luverboychris @muwapsturniolo @eyeliketoeatpoosay @mattsturniolosleftnut @mrssturnioloo @mattsivy @guccifrog @prettiest-poision @e1ias3 @breeloveschris @summerssover @l0akkzz

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #chris x reader #chris sturniolo imagine #christoper sturniolo #christopher sturniolo x reader #the sturniolo triplets #the sturniolos #sturniolo triplets smut #sturniolo triplets imagine

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lumikore · 5 months

Text

My Medic loadout I still don't know if he's an oc or not I guess he could be categorised as self insert oc but he's not really he's just my loadout guy but I do imagine him in my head in little scenarios mostly like stuff that would happen to me ingame and he acts like how I would but he's a little more mean and depressed like another day another dollar kinda vibe yknow so he's not me but he kind of is like he's my loadout yknow that's what other people see when they see me playing medic but also I don't 'kin' medic or anything like that if anything I think I'm most like engineer if I had to pick one Idk maybe he's a tf2-sona if that's a thing he's not exactly like me but he kind of represents me I mean he's my pfp as well on here and on Steam and on yt maybe he's like a mascot for my brand like Ronald McDonald or Chuck E Cheese but for Lumikore Tf2 Drawings And Etc Incorporated you feel me but like I also have hcs for him I guess they're canon if he's my character but anyway I think he plays the harp which well I mean I play the harp so I guess I'm projecting onto him a little bit there but it's ok like I project onto every single character I make ever it doesn't mean it's me it just means it is influenced by me which of course it's going to be if I made it and guys sorry for not using commas or full stops I can't help it this is what my thoughts sound like to me and it feels really weird and unnatural when I have to add pauses instead of just connecting all my thoughts in one sentence like how they come to me in my brain I didn't sleep very well last night btw so I'm kinda going a little crazy I slept 4 hours and then got up at midnight to eat strawberries and cherries and prosciutto and brie as stated in my other post and then tried to go back to sleep but it didn't work so I just layed awake for a bit now it's about 11:30 and I'm quite tired now thinking about it but I mustn't have a nap or my sleep cycle will get even worse and it also just occurred to me no one wants to read this and I think I got a little off topic as well but if I write a big enough wall of text peole will have no choice but to see it and think wow what is this guy on about that he needs to write so much under a little drawing post guys write Krampus in the comments if you read this far I'm also kind of sad rn about Krampus because after the event is over I'll have to wait another year before I can see my lovely wife Krampus again and she's gonna be so lonely without me like what does she do all year stay at home all alone it's sad really who's going to give her love and attention while I'm off fighting in the war (2fort) and genuinely aside from Krampus I really like the Smissmas maps especially Carrier and Galleria I don't really like Haarp it's very confusing and stressful but still I hope some of them stay throughout the year because I just know if they only come back in December then they will get hardly any players ever again cause people want to play the new maps every year and I think I should stop writing so I can go play tf2 now so I can play the event maps before they're gone so bye.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #tf2 fanart #tf2 medic oc #tf2 oc #stream of consciousness

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borathae · 7 months

Text

“Courtesy of your sudden insomnia, you attempt to seek sleepiness by sitting at the beach. Which sadly means leaving a very sleepy and even cuddlier Yoongi in the tent. Something he doesn’t like at all.”

Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader

Genre: slice of life Fluff, established relationship!AU, Camping Trip!AU

Warnings: Yoongi being a sleepy & tiny cutie, the smallest hint at suggestive themes in the form of Yoongi being secretly subby for strong!OC fjadfja, i apologise for my strength kink shining through at the end, my 5"3 ass really thinks that she can carry a cute boy who is taller than her, lisTEN I JUST WANNA CARRY MY BOI >:-( AT LEAST LET ME DO IT IN FICTION >:-(

Wordcount: 2.1k

a/n: writing this made me think of all the summer holidays I spent in Croatia with my grandparents and I got incredibly sad because I won’t ever be able to see my grandpa again. the campsite is inspired by the campsite they always had their caravan at and despite my very sad author notes, this is a happy drabble lmaoo

Your boyfriend is sleeping with his back facing you. Somewhere in the tent someone is snoring. Probably Jungkook. Hoseok shares a tent with you as well. He’s got Dragana sleeping next to him. The others, consisting of Taehyung, Jimin, Seokjin and Emma as well as Genevieve, are sharing the neighbouring tent.

If one hadn’t figured it out yet, you went camping. The trip started on Saturday and has been going on for four days. It will still continue for another ten days.

Nature is beautiful. The trips you take during the day are goddamn amazing and the food Yoongi prepares on your camping grill is to die for. You help him every night, which earned you the loving title of “this trips’ mom and dad”. Jungkook tried not to snicker, but he did.

The campsite offers various activities and entertainment zones as well and you are able to reach a small town by car twenty minutes from here.

Truly, it is utterly perfect here. Tall pine forests fill the air with their scents and the ocean offers places to swim and relax. The campsite is located along a bay, which meant the water was almost calm and the boats weren’t racing past you with their loud motors. It was utterly perfect this way.

It is nothing but relaxation and yet you can’t fall asleep. Maybe it’s Jungkook’s snoring or maybe it’s the slightly uncomfortable camping bed, but you can’t fall asleep tonight. You have already been trying for the past two hours and it’s getting exhausting.

You reach out and tap Yoongi’s back, whispering his name as quietly as possible.

He wakes up instantly, lifting his head as a small “hm” escapes him. A tired “mhm-hm” follows and then he already turns his head to you, showing off his terribly dented hair.

“Hm-mh”, another sleepy sound and then Yoongi rolls over, facing you that way. He is looking at you, you know that he is because his eyes reflect the moonlight in a slightly ruby glow.

“Mhm?”

“Did I wake you?”

“Hm.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t fall asleep.”

“Mhhm”, Yoongi closes his eyes and places his hand on your cheek. It is heavy and really warmed up from balling it into a fist in his sleep.

“I tried to, but I can’t.”

“Hmh.”

“Yoongi, can’t you stay awake with me a little?”

“M.”

You stub his nose. Unlike his hand, it is cold to the touch. Courtesy of the chilly night air. Yet another reason why you can’t fall asleep. You are so, so cold that you can’t get comfortable.

“Please Boongie.”

“Do I gotta?” he murmurs in a deep, raspy voice. It is truly so heavy in sleep that you can barely decipher the syllables.

“Yes, please.”

He opens his eyes, blinking at you slowly. He doesn’t say anything. You share silence and Jungkook’s snoring. Somehow you think that it got even louder.

“Yoongi, I’m cold and the bed is uncomfy and Kookie’s snoring so loudly.”

“Mhm”, Yoongi closes in and drapes his arm over you so he could tug you in properly. Then he rubs his hand up and down your back, warming you up that way. The shivering stops, because he is warm and feels safe. You are nuzzled into his chest with his scent engulfing you.

“Thank you. You’re so snuggly.”

“Hmh.”

Another round of silence and Jungkook’s snoring passes. You think that Yoongi fell back asleep because he is breathing terribly slowly again and his hand stopped rubbing your back.

You wiggle so you could tilt your head and look up at his face.

“Psst, Yoongi?” you whisper.

“Hh”, he wanted to hum again, but it only comes out as an airy sound.

“I still can’t fall asleep.”

Yoongi peels his eyes open one by one. First the right, then the left.

“Hh”, another airy sound.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“No.”

You pout and boop his nose, “please?”

He shakes his head slowly.

You huff out air in frustration. Stubborn sleepyhead.

“Fine”, you give up, “I’ll go alone. I’m too energized. You stay comfy.”

You wiggle out of his weak hold even if he whines sleepily and tries to grab for you again. You are stronger however, shaking off his arm successfully.

“Please no”, Yoongi begs, but you have already put your mind to it. You smooch his cheek.

“I’ll be back soon. Promise”, you whisper and roll out of bed, abandoning a sulking Yoongi to tiptoe out of the tent.

The air is cool and smells of pine needles. The once loud cicadas of the day have fallen silent. Only your steps and the occasional cracking of a branch as you step on it can be heard in the silence. The dirty dishes of tonight’s dinner are gathered in a plastic washing basket. Seokjin and Jungkook will carry them to the washing area tomorrow morning to clean them. While Jimin and Hoseok will prepare breakfast. You decided on it after dinner. The campsite doesn’t allow open fire for safety reasons. The coal in the safe griller is still cooling down as you pass it, giving off a hint of warmth. It brushes past your legs as quickly as you walk.

You are around two rows of camper vans and caravans separated from the ocean. One dirt path separates the caravan rows from the tent rows and throughout the area old, wind-bended pines provide shadow in the daylight. Most vans are dark by now, except for one where the lights are still on. You try not to listen in as you pass it on your way to the beach.

The small bar, which offers drinks and snacks during the day, is empty right now. The shutters are closed and the chairs are resting flipped on the tables. You maneuver your way through the tables for the sole purpose of wanting to and it is fun to do. You take the two wooden stairs down and land back on the earthen ground, which was covered in pine needles and pine cones.

Only a few more steps and then there is white rock under your feet. The ocean is just a few more steps away. You take them and jump off the small elevation onto the white pebbles. They crunch under your weight, forming a melody as you wander over the empty beach. There are people relaxing on it during the day and children playing in the shallow waters, but now it looks abandoned and calm. Someone forgot their beach mat on the pebbles. You look around for a moment and once you made sure that the coast is clear, sit down on the mat. It does little to shield the pokey nature of the pebbles, but it is better than sitting on the hard, cold stone without anything in between.

You stretch out your legs and let out a loud sigh. The air smells of ocean and pine needles. It is such a nice smell. You inhale deeply through your nose and exhale the same way. You feel a little sleepier already. The walk wasn’t long, but the change in scenery and the new sights to take in, helped your brain to rid itself of the clutter which has been keeping you awake. It wasn’t bad clutter, but it was just enough to keep you awake. You place your hands on the pebbles behind your back and lean your weight on them. Like this, the stones dig into your butt and so you have to wiggle it to change into a more comfortable position. The stones make a sound as you do and somehow they continue making a sound even after you stopped moving. How peculiar. You listen harder. Steps. Quiet ones, but steps nonetheless. Someone is walking over the pebbles to get to you.

You turn your head and squint your eyes. They have been in the dark long enough that you can see the world perfectly. Someone with a smaller frame and dark hair is trotting to you slowly. Their black hoodie is oversized and their shorts reach them just above their knees. You know exactly who is taking a terribly sleepy walk to you, waiting for him with a fluttering heart.

“Why are you here?” you ask him as he reaches your side.

“I can’t sleep when you’re not with me”, Yoongi answers you and drops down on the beach mat. He turns to you instantly, resting his bend legs on your lap and draping his arm over your tummy so he can rest his head on your shoulder. The sleeves of his hoodie reach over his hands, only the tips of his fingers poke out. He nuzzles his cheek against you and huffs out air almost sadly, “don’t leave like this, please”, he murmurs, sounding oh so sad.

“I’m sorry”, you say, draping your arm around him and pulling him closer, “I just needed some air. Kookie’s snoring almost drove me insane.”

He nods his head in understanding and hums quietly. He snuggles even closer and stubs your neck with his nose. It feels cold from the chilly air, but as he exhales, a warm tingle brushes over your skin.

“You’re warm”, he whispers.

“Mhm, your nose is cold”, you say and rub your hand over his exposed shins, “and your legs too”, you add, rubbing them more vigorously to warm him up.

“I’m cold.”

“I thought you can’t get cold.”

“I get cold when you’re not with me.”

You smile and rest your head against his’, “I see.”

Yoongi reaches further over your waist until he can tug at the sleeve of your hoodie. You understand what his gesture meant, lifting your hand so you can intertwine your fingers with him. Yoongi lets out a small sound of happiness and squeezes your hand, growing smaller in your arm as he relaxes.

“I like this”, he whispers slowly. It is a telltale sign that he is this close to falling asleep on your shoulder. He has his eyes closed.

“I like it too”, you answer him quietly, caressing his knuckles. You have your eyes closed as well.

“Don’t you wanna go back to bed?” he asks with an obvious pout on his lips.

“But I like sitting here. It’s peaceful.”

“I’m sleepy.”

“That’s okay. I’ll carry you back if you fall asleep.”

Yoongi stays silent for a moment before he snuggles against you in a small wiggle and mumbles a shy, “I’m too heavy, don’t do that.”

You chuckle, giving his head a little kiss.

“You’re not too heavy, love. You’re my petite, little prince. I can carry you.”

“Oh my god”, he breathes and wiggles again, nudging your tummy with your intertwined hands, “don’t call me that.”

You smile, pulling him closer and using the safe grip you have on his arm to caress him.

“You’re so cute”, you say and kiss his head softly, nuzzling your nose into his soft hair afterwards to get a whiff of his shampoo. Rosemary and mint. It smells heavenly, making your eyes feel droopy, “mhm love, you smell so good.”

“You too.”

You give him a gentle squeeze and an adoring kiss. Then you rub your hand up and down his arm again.

“I really like this place. It’s so beautiful”, you say.

“You’re beautiful”, Yoongi murmurs, making your heart flutter.

“You’re so cute”, you murmur and squeeze him, “and you’re beautiful as well.”

“Mhm.”

“How did you find me either way? Did you use your nose?”

“No, I knew you’d be at the beach”, he says and adds in a whisper, “you like the beach.”

He knows. Even the smallest, most inconspicuous details about you, he knows and remembers.

You seriously want to move mountains for this man. When there are clouds in the night sky, you want to blow them away just so he can see the stars and when he feels cold, you want to change the weather just so he doesn’t have to shiver.

“You know what I thought of right now?” you ask him.

He shakes his head slowly.

“That I love you like crazy.”

He wiggles again and whines, ending it with a terribly shyly mumbled, “I love you too.”

You and he will sit by the beach until his small breaths of sleep meet your ears. Like promised, you carry him back to the tent, even if he wakes up halfway through it as you had to bounce him in your arms for a better grip. He doesn’t complain when he wakes, he merely closes his arms around you tighter and whimpers your name against your neck.

Come morning, he will pretend as if nothing ever happened, but he will sneak longing and very submissive glances your way throughout the day.

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filmofhybe · 5 months

Text

airport buddies.

🥥 pairing : ot7 x oc! 8th member of enha • GENRE : fluff

WARNING: mention of food , crowding , pushing , Profanity

; AUTHORS NOTE : sudden thought of me being the 8th member of enhypen hit my brain while watching Golden Disc Award. And obviously credit to @srjlvr bc her 8th members works inspired me!

MASTERLIST TO MY OTHER WORK

정원 jungwon

as one of the members in the hyung line, jungwon as the leader, still keeps his eyes on you as fans would be crowding you guys despite them keeping a distance. Because you guys was once mopped at the terminal before and you got really injured, he would tell you to grab onto his bag as you walk towards the exit. He would sometimes tell you to link arms with him, and these sweet moments are captured by fans, speaking up about how attentive jungwon is about previous situations and how he cares about his members safety. You feel really safe around him and your glad he’s taking care of you. (You would also guide him through the crowd if it gets to chaotic.)

“y/n hold onto my bag so you don’t get lost.”

“wonnie I’m fine trust me.”

“no I don’t trust the crowd after what happened. You deserve to stay safe around me.”

“If you insist, but one day I would need to stop doing it because you won’t be with me.”

“DONT GO ALL SAD NOW.”

“IM NOT IM JUST SPEAKING THE-“

“you both shut up please I’m too tired for this argument every damn time.” Your manager chuckled as he watched both of you having the “I need to keep you safe!” Argument every time before stepping out of the terminal.

희 승 heeseung

He treats you to food before you guys board the plane. He knows your morning temper is horrible, having to wake up in early in the morning to get to the airport, than having to deal with flashing cameras before checking in already made your day ten times worse. So when you guys are waiting to bored the plane, he will treat you to something sweet, like a chocolate cookie along with a blueberry muffin. Or just anything you want. He cares about your health especially your body is still growing. (Sometimes you would reject his offer, however he would still buy it just in case you start complaining about how hungry you are on the plane)

“y/n~ let’s go get food shall we?”

“I would love to but I’m tired…” you sigh as you cuddle into your hoodie more, keeping yourself warm.

“come on, let’s go get some food before boarding, you can pick whatever you want.” He smiled as he noticed you jump out of your seat after what he said.

Walking towards a small café, you picked out a cookie and a refresher. Heeseung picked something for each member and himself before paying everything. He watches you munch on your cookie, smiling once again to know that all he needs to do to make you happy is food.

박종성 Park Jeongseong

MR DRAGS YOU ALONG TO SHOP. He’s the person to shop at those designer shop before boarding in his spare time. Even though he has good style, he would always drag you along with him. He thinks you giving him opinions about what he should get makes his purchases worth it. Like he had said before “y/n has better taste than I do, people may not admit it but she really does. I’m glad she is always willing to come shopping with me.” Despite you being so tired, you still enjoy walking around with him. You guys usually come out with around 3 bags of stuff. Fans always assume you both have some spending problem at the airport 😭

does this sweater look better than the other?” Jay placed the black sweater in front of him, holding the other color beside him as he switch in between the two.

“I like the navy blue more. It suits you better… it also matches the Prada sunglasses I got you.” You suggested as you grab the navy blue sweater. Placing in front of his torso.

“Nevermind i agree with you. My jawline stands out more.” He smirks, before trying to escape from your slapping.

“We get it park jeongseong you have sharp ass jawline now get your sweater.”

“Jesus Christ I enjoy shopping with you BUT NOT YOU HITTING ME?!?”

심재윤 Sim Jaeyun

The “I can’t stop gossiping” duo. Oh my gosh you both just can’t stop yapping the moment you step out of the van. Is like you guys are high school best friends talking about the latest gossips. You guys would link arms and whisper into each others ears, but laughing extremely loudly after what you heard from the other. Is the media pressed about your interactions? Sometimes (because they can’t take good pictures of the group without you both not talking) however they enjoy watching you both laughing your ass off to whatever your laughing about at 5 in the morning.

“no because I heard that he’s really bad at singing..” Jake whispers as he links his arms with you. Leaning into you as he tries to tell you the latest updates on the entertainment industry.

“No way I thought she was good enough to make it..”

“bitch he was like iM sUpER sHyYYy iM sUpeR sHY.” Jake intimates whoever he was talking about, making you both burst into laughter behind all your members. The members were confused on the sudden laughter. Who on earth laughs this much at 5 in the morning with camera flashes in their face.

“But who are we to judge…? I mean he tried at least.”

“Stop we can’t be rude at least he tried…”

“Keyword tried..”

The ones to say they shouldn’t be judging after gossiping about it😭 just too unserious

성훈 Sunghoon

The matching fit duo. You both somehow always have matching airport fits. Making favs believe you guys did it on purpose (sometimes). But both of you never complain about it. Because of how good both your stylist it, fans always try to take lots of pics of you when you guys are standing next to each other. But sometimes it’s the opposite, you would accidentally wear his shirt while he is uses your bag. And fans loves how you guys share each others items for time to time. (Ps. They love to question you guys.)

“y/nnie!! Where is your bag from?”

“I don’t know, sunghoon got it. It was the first bag I saw so I took it. I’m so sorry!”

“Is okay!! Sunghoon! Are you and y/nnie matching today?”

“We didn’t mean to match again today. It was by coincidence. Do you guys like it?” Fans started agreeing that they love your matching outfits. You both thanked them for noticing and were both flattered by how cute your fans are.

선우 Sunoo

THE SERVING CUNT DUO!! Because both of your age are really close to each other and you both have basically the same brain cell. You both constantly like to tease each other and laugh at each other. You guys do not care if it’s 12 at night that your at the airport, you guys would do the must random shit ever. Eg. A catwalk while linking arms, or writing on your phones pointing towards each other. “SUNOO SPILLED MY COFFEE.” “I DIDNT YOUR FOOT KICKED IT!!” Sigh the members are tired of you both but I guess they find it kinda funny as well.

“WHY ARE YOU TRYNA EXPOSE ME?!?” You asked sunoo as you watched the younger boy laugh at the message - “Y/N FORGOT TO WEAR SOCKS TODAY!!” On his phone. Ready for fans and media to see.

“YOU ARE EXPOSING ME TOO!?” he gasped as he reads yours - “SUNOO CRIED ON THE WAY HERE BECAUSE HE FORGOT HIS DITTO DOLL!!” You shrugged your shoulders as you quickly stepped out of the van before he can reach you.

Fans and the media captures this funny moment as your members silently laughs at how immature you both are. But they don’t complain at all.

にしむらりき Nishimura Riki

The mother and son duo. Being one of the oldest of the group, and you promising to take good care of Niki. You constantly make sure he is alright and his passport is kept safe with him. Fans starts taking notice that you would hold onto his passport after hd lost it once, and he is comfortable enough to hold onto your bag as you make your way through the crowd. Some even noticed that he would buy you medicine before boarding because he knows you get ill easily while traveling. Lots of people treasure your relationship dearly and they always appreciate how you take care of each other very well. (You take Care of other members as well but most of the time Niki because he’s the youngest.)

Fans and media captures a brief moment of Niki handing you his passport. “y/n can you hold onto my passport so I don’t lose it again?” He whispered beside you. Nodding as you take his passport into your hand.

He grabs onto your purse as you walked through the crowd of people. You would look back at him from time to time to make sure he is behind you. Grabbing his hand when it starts getting more chaotic. His grip is now tighter around you, you look back reassuring him that your here and he would be okay. “Niki is okay I’m here your fine. Your passport is safe as well don’t worry.” He can sense you smiling at him, even though your mask covers half of your face.

Fans was touched by both of your little interactions at the airport. Knowing Niki still relays on his older members even though he just turned 18. They know he is still a baby at heart and still need caring. And they thank you for taking care of him like he’s one of your owns.

networks ~ @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels @k-neighborhood

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naughtyneganjdm · 2 months

Text

Good Luck Charm - Chapter 29

Summary: Negan deals with the overwhelming emotional effects of what happened to Y/N altering his life and he's not handling it well.

Characters: Negan, Y/N/reader (OC), Evie, Nathan, Simon, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39423063/chapters/139486027

Notes: I know I said that I would put up the priest Negan fic next, but this one has been done and edited for a while. I just forgot about it. But I promise that one is next. Thanks to anyone that still reads this story!

“You’re being lazy,” Negan felt the warmth of an arm wrapping around his waist from behind, holding him close. It made a smile tug at Negan’s lips when he cuddled his head in closer to the pillow that he was laying on. A faint kiss was pressed over the back of his neck and it had his lips parting. “You need to wake up. It’s a busy day.”

“Every day is a busy day,” Negan frowned, turning in the bed with his tired eyes fluttering to an open. “You know that Y/N.”

Seeing her smile made his heart skip a beat. Maybe he got used to seeing her sad for so long that whenever she smiled it honestly took his breath away. Hooking his fingers with hers, Negan brought her hand to him to place a kiss over the back of it.

“There is nowhere I’d rather be than in bed with you,” Negan informed her with a hesitant smile, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against hers. There was no better feeling in the world than waking up knowing that you weren’t alone. That there was someone with you to share your life with. “I’d rather take the day just to be with you.”

“Why are you still here Negan?” Y/N whispered causing his breath to get caught in his throat. Tipping his head back, he felt his body tensing up and he didn’t know what she meant. That wasn’t exactly the response that he was looking for.

“In bed? Because I’m comfortable with you,” Negan responded with a frown. The warmth he felt waking up was suddenly cold and uneasy. She looked unhappy with him and he didn’t know what to say. “I don’t care about the rest of the world right now. The children are sleeping. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

“I mean at The Sanctuary,” she countered causing his lips to part. Trying to lean forward to kiss her, Negan felt her fingers pressing in over his lips to keep him from doing so. “I asked you to take the children to the farm and you’re still living here Negan.”

“What do you…?” Negan began with a faint whisper, stopping when he realized where this conversation was headed.

“I asked you and you promised me. You swore you were going to take the children to the farm Negan. Let them live a normal life. You swore,” her voice got angrier as she sat up in the bed. The tension in her body only further proved that. It made Negan’s heart begin to race and he felt like he was starting to panic. Pressing up onto his palms, Negan braced his body weight on them as he stared out at her on the bed. “It was my dying wish Negan. You promised me and you still haven’t done it. Why haven’t you kept your promise?”

With a gasp, Negan’s eyes snapped open with his heart hammering inside of his chest. Lifting his head, Negan saw that it was still nighttime with the small amount of light from the moon filtering into his room at The Sanctuary. Gazing to the bed beside him, Negan made sure that Nathan and Evie were still there. When he knew that they were safe, he was able to calm down somewhat before attempting to gather himself.

Lowering his head into his palms, Negan groaned out and couldn’t shake the feeling that he was experiencing. The nightmares returned. They were gone for a short while, but now every time he closed his eyes he had some kind of bad dream that revolved around Y/N. Either that moment on the hill repeated in his dreams or she was in them angry. He had a few dreams that included Lucille as well. She was angry with him too in them for what went down. There was no escaping the way he was feeling. Not awake. Not sleeping.

Sliding in closer to his children, Negan pulled both Nathan and Evie in closer to his body. It had been weeks since the day Negan had left Y/N in that small town. For the first two weeks Negan went out every day searching for her body. He had most of The Saviors searching for her too. They all knew what she looked like and what she was wearing. It had almost been a month with no prevail. But he kept looking. He wasn’t ready to give up.

What Y/N had said to him in his dreams echoed throughout his mind. He did promise her that he would take the children to the farm, but his number one priority was finding her body. More than anything, he needed that closure. The children needed that closure. They needed to bury Y/N in order for them to have a grave to go to. That meant he had to stay at The Sanctuary and use all the resources he could in order to try to find her.

In his arms, Negan felt Evie cuddling in closer to him and it made his chest ache. Since they hadn’t found Y/N, Evie was convinced during the first few weeks that her mother was still alive, but the longer time passed the more it became obvious that Evie was coming to terms with the thought that her mother was really gone. Especially since Y/N would have made it back to them if she was alive. There was no way that she wouldn’t have made it back. Not with having Nathan and Evie with Negan.

It was hard for both him and Evie. Negan was suffering greatly from depression. He was doing his best to hold it together but losing Y/N had hit him hard. Nathan really didn’t understand it, he was too young. He would ask for her, but he didn’t understand that she was gone. Negan wished it wasn’t like this, but there was nothing he could do to change it.

Because Negan was having a hard time he picked up on the fact that Evie was doing her best not to have meltdowns, but some days she was like him and she would break down. But most of the time it felt like she was taking care of him. Evie knew that he was broken especially after finding him that day having a meltdown at the farm. It was a job that she shouldn’t have had to carry the weight of, but she was doing her best for the both of them. It should have been the opposite, but no matter what Negan did he couldn’t pull himself out of the darkness that he was feeling.

Pressing a kiss over the top of Evie’s head, Negan cuddled his chin in closer to her to hold her close. Nathan was lying beside Evie on the other end and Negan made sure he was close too before trying to get comfortable. Sleeping became hard for Negan again. He had a hard time staying asleep. Exhaustion would often catch up to him and he would pass out, but it never lasted long.

Another thing Negan knew is that he wasn’t taking care of himself physically either. Before all of this happened, he would always keep himself looking super clean and pristine. Now he was letting his hair grow out and it was often messy. It had been a long time since he had shaved. And he wasn’t showering like he could have been. Right now those things just didn’t matter to him.

He was making sure that the children were fed and taken care of, but all he cared about was finding Y/N. It didn’t make sense to him that she was completely missing. Then again, there was a thought that entered his mind. If Y/N did turn, they were right by the water. He didn’t want to think it, but there was that chance that she ended up in the water and that’s why they were never finding her. Maybe her corpse was beneath the water and they would never find her.

That thought was horrifying to him and it was one that he was going to have to live with for a long time. He hoped that he was wrong and there was something that him and his Saviors were missing. It didn’t make sense that they weren’t finding her body. Negan personally went through the entire town that they were in when he left her. Multiple times. He searched for some kind of sign as to where she went and he found nothing. There was nothing there. It was like she just completely vanished.

Clearing his throat, Negan thought about how Y/N asked Negan to give Evie her wedding band that Negan gave her. That was something he didn’t follow through with either. Instead it was still on the necklace that he wore. In his mind, she was his wife so he was never going to take it off. It kept a piece of her with him always.

Right now, he still saw her in his sleep every night. It was often a nightmare, but at least he still saw Y/N. He was worried about how long it might be before he stopped dreaming of her. Until he stopped remembering what her voice sounded like. They got so far only for their dreams to be ripped out from beneath them. It wasn’t fair. That’s how he still viewed this whole situation. It was wrong on so many levels and it wasn’t fair.

Trying to force his eyes closed, Negan knew that he wasn’t likely going to fall asleep. And if he did? It would take hours. So he just cherished the warmth of his children near him. Glad that they were at least sleeping.

Unfortunately he was right. Negan was awake long enough for the sun to start to rise and by the time he finally did fall asleep, he didn’t stay asleep for long before one of his people at The Sanctuary brought in breakfast for them. Lifting his head, Negan groaned out when he saw that Evie and Nathan were already up sitting at the table. Clutching tightly to the pillow that was in his arms, Negan grumbled and lowered his head back down.

“Breakfast daddy,” Evie called out to Negan who rolled onto his stomach before pulling the pillow in over his head. With a sigh, Evie got up from the bed and reached for Negan’s white t-shirt to tug at it. “You have to eat. You didn’t eat lunch or dinner yesterday.”

“I’m not hungry,” Negan grumbled with his voice being muffled against the bedsheets. Another firm tug was felt at his shirt when Evie managed to get him up and seated on the edge of the bed. There were dark circles under Negan’s eyes and his hair was a mess. Frowning, Evie stepped forward to brush her fingers through her father’s messy hair. “You don’t have to take care of me Evie.”

“I do,” she insisted reaching for Negan’s hands to squeeze tightly at them. Getting Negan finally to his feet, she led him over toward the chair that he would often sit at and got him to lower down. Sliding his plate of breakfast before him, she handed him over the silverware before taking her seat. Nathan was already at his chair, kicking his feet while he picked at his breakfast. Evie was doing her best to eat too, but Negan hated this part of things. They still had the fourth chair there. Having it empty felt wrong, but taking it away felt worse. So his meals would often lead to him having a breakdown that led him to tears thinking about Y/N. “Daddy?”

“Yeah baby?” Negan’s tired expression met Evie’s when she pointed down to the plate. “I’m trying honey. I’m sorry.”

“Hi daddy,” Nathan smiled brightly when Negan looked him over. It drew attention to his dimples and Negan feigned a smile. God, this was so fucking hard and he knew that he had to start stepping it up. He was the only parent these two had left and he felt like he was failing them. He felt like he was failing Y/N.

“Good morning handsome,” Negan got up from his chair enough to press a kiss over Nathan’s forehead. Brushing his fingers through Nathan’s hair, Negan carefully lowered back down into his seat and sighed loudly. Watching Nathan pick at his food, Negan slid his chair in closer and reached for the silverware. Cutting up his food, Negan lifted it up on a spoon making Nathan’s smile expand. With a hum Nathan swallowed down on the food and bobbed his head about like nothing was wrong. “Does that taste good buddy?”

“Yeah,” Nathan responded eager for another bite when Negan brought up a spoonful again. Evie’s eyes were locked on them together while Negan attempted to make silly faces to get Nathan to giggle. What she also noticed was that Negan never took a bite of his food. “Yum.”

“Yum is right. You’re gonna grow up and be a strong little boy, aren’t you?” Negan heard the sound of a chair moving, but he kept his attention on Nathan. Suddenly the sound of Evie making train sounds were heard and a spoon was placed in front of his mouth. Arching his eyebrow, Negan’s head slowly turned and Evie nodded toward the spoon.

“Eat,” she demanded of Negan who let out a long exhale. “Do I have to make silly faces too?”

Replicating almost the same faces as Negan was doing previously with Nathan had Nathan in a round of giggles before Negan opened his mouth to accept the bite, “Now if you want to feed Nathan, I’ll feed you. Swallow it down.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan swallowed down hard knowing that she was just doing her best to get him to eat. Evie kept up with what she was doing until Nathan was done with his breakfast. Raising his hand up, Negan nodded his head about and sighed. “I can feed myself the rest of the time.”

“Okay,” she lowered the silverware and gave him a stern expression. Usually Evie took on a majority of his genes, but that look right there. That look was something he had seen from Y/N so many times in the past. “You better.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan smirked, whistling when Evie went to walk away. Wiggling his fingers, Negan motioned her to him again. Curling his arm around her waist, he hugged her close to him. He knew that he wasn’t being the best father he could be right now, but the depression was hitting him hard. Having Evie here with him definitely made things better, but he knew he should have been the one taking care of her. Not the other way around. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, burying her head against the side of his neck to squeeze harder at him for the hug.

A knock was heard making them both look back to see that the door was slowly pushing open. Once Simon was revealed to be behind it, Negan cleared his throat and felt a sense of discomfort, “Hey boss man. Can we talk?”

“Not until he’s done with his breakfast,” Evie answered for Negan and it made Negan’s thick eyebrows bounce up in amusement. Simon’s head tipped to the side with him looking to Negan for a response.

“You heard the little lady, she’s in charge,” Negan pointed to Evie who gave a faint smile when her father listened to her instead of going straight to work like he normally would. “She’s the boss. So let me finish this and I will be right out.”

“It’s kind of important,” Simon stressed to Negan, his hands resting at his hips when Evie reached out to place her hand in over her father’s shoulder almost to stress dominance in this moment.

“And so is him eating. He doesn’t have much left, he hasn’t eaten much in days so please let him eat. You can wait outside,” Evie waved her hand about in the air before returning to her seat. A snort fell from Negan’s lips at her response. Shrugging his shoulders, Negan nodded in the direction of Evie showing Simon that he was going to be listening to his daughter. “He’ll be out when he’s done. You can wait outside.”

With a grunt, Simon gave Negan a glare before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Faintly clapping his hands together, Negan knew that Evie was proud of herself, “Good job baby girl. I can’t even get him to listen to me.”

“It’s time someone did,” she finished with her breakfast while he did the same. After he finished, he got up from his seat and got the dishes together. Then he gave both Nathan and Evie a kiss on the head before starting to go for the door. “Are you going to be gone today?”

“No honey, I’m just gonna go speak to Simon and then I will be right back,” Negan assured her with a firm nod of his head. Giving her a wink, he headed out of the room and saw that Simon was resting against the wall with anger flooding his features. “What is it?”

Once the door was shut behind Negan, Simon stepped forward and threw his hands up in the air, “When are we going to stop this Negan? It’s been weeks and you still have The Saviors out looking for Y/N. I think we both know we’re not going to find anything.”

“We stop when we find her,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. This was something Simon kept bringing up and by this point it was starting to really infuriate Negan. There was a flood of rage rushing through his veins and Negan knew he had to try to keep a level head about this. “I’m not going to give up until we find her.”

“Then you’re never going to be safe Negan,” Simon retorted with an angered breath. “Rick’s crew is likely planning their attack on the fucking place while you’re wasting all of our resources and our men on some bitch that is likely dead at the bottom of the water.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Negan roared, stepping forward to firmly shove his hands into the center of Simon’s chest. The swiftness of it had Simon stumbling backwards, a grunt falling from his throat. “Don’t you fucking dare call my wife a bitch. I will fucking destroy you.”

“Like you’re destroying The Saviors and The Sanctuary?” Simon snarled hearing Negan’s breathing growing louder, his hazel eyes narrowing in frustration. “Ever since Y/N and those kids showed up, you’ve been letting this place nosedive into the ground. You are meant to be the leader. We are in the middle of a war with Rick and his people. What are you doing though? You’re in your bedroom every day sobbing into your pillows. And if you’re not doing that you are out all day long looking for a woman that you know is dead. We both know you’re never going to find her Negan.”

“I don’t give a shit what you think Simon. I’m going to keep looking for her because I love her and…” Negan paused when the sound of Simon laughing interrupted him. Biting at his bottom lip, Negan felt his rage increasing with Simon rolling his eyes.

“You loved her?” Simon mocked Negan, emphasizing his words in an antagonizing way. Simon’s jaw was clenching and he made it clear he was furious with the way Negan was acting. “She was one of your wives Negan. Not the only one. Just one of them.”

“Watch where you are headed with this,” Negan warned his number two, his fingers curling into a tighter fist at his side.

“You know, I never really agreed with your actions here, but I went along with it because for the most part, it got things done,” Simon began, his eyes locking with Negan’s trying to express some sense of power over Negan in this moment. “Then Rick shows up and proves to you that your way of doing things isn’t going to work. But you keep toying with the guy and you are letting them build up an offense against us. Then your family shows up and suddenly you don’t care anymore. All you care about is your family and a woman that you didn’t even care for when the world was normal Negan. Why the hell is she so important now? Because she certainly wasn’t when you were married to Lucille.”

Closing his eyes, Negan tried to count to himself knowing that he was fully prepared to attack Simon at this moment, “Now you’re letting a ten-year-old control your life and it’s fucking pathetic.”

Grunting out, Simon stumbled back after the force of Negan punching him collided with the side of his face. It had Simon grabbing the railing, his fingers curling tightly around the metal when his other hand reached up to caress where Negan had hit him. Lifting his head, Simon noticed the way that Negan’s eyes were locked on him, with Negan’s chest heaving.

Standing up straight, Simon’s blood was rushing through his veins when he stepped before Negan fully prepared to fight him back when Negan shoved into him again, “What are you gonna do Simon? Huh? You wanna fight? I fucking dare you. I will destroy you.”

“Daddy?” Evie’s voice was heard in a faint whisper. Both men gazed over at her with Simon backing down when he saw Negan’s younger daughter staring out at them with big eyes. Worry filled her young features and Simon scoffed, before rubbing at his face again. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine baby,” Negan’s posture changed completely when he spotted Evie, lowering down on his knees to reach out to cup her face in his rough hands. “You go back in there and watch your brother for me. Daddy just needs to talk to Simon, okay?”

By her expression, Negan could tell that Evie wasn’t comfortable with leaving him, but she was going to listen to him just because he asked her to. Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, Negan slowly stood and waited for the door to be closed before turning on his heel, “You ever say something negative about my wife or my daughter again and I will fucking kill you. You understand me?”

“Crystal clear,” Simon’s shoulders slouched, his breathing loud enough for Negan to hear. In a sense, Simon was lucky because Negan wasn’t sure what he was capable of if Evie hadn’t come out. “At least I know when this place falls, it wasn’t my fault. It was yours.”

“Fuck you,” Negan snarled under his breath, standing his ground before Simon. With a roll of his eyes, Simon shook his head before giving Negan a final glare. Instead of saying anything more, Simon walked off leaving Negan to himself. Negan let out a tense sound, his heart hammering in his chest with a fire burning in his fist from where he had punched Simon. He was furious with the way that Simon responded to him searching for Y/N. If it came between dealing with Rick and finding Y/N, he wanted to find Y/N. That would be his choice every time. Shaking his head, Negan stepped back toward the door to his bedroom and stopped when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eyes. Immediately, his stomach sank, his heart hammering in his chest when he saw Y/N standing at the end of the hallway. “Y/N?”

Calling out, Negan started to move away from the door of the bedroom that his children was in. Once he seemed to notice her there, she took off in the other direction and he quickened his movements. It seemed like she was pushing through the group of people that were on the second level to get away from Negan when he called out to her again. She got a head start down the stairs and he took off after her.

“Stop! What are you doing?” Negan called out and it drew her to look back over her shoulder at Negan when she got to the bottom of the stairs. When their eyes connected, Negan could feel a chill run down his spine. “Wait.”

His pleas were heard on deaf ears as she continued to run away from him and he felt a rush of panic flooding his veins. Trying his best to keep up with her, Negan cussed out to himself when he reached the bottom of the stairs and didn’t see her. Looking both ways, he noticed that an exit door was closing and he quickly headed that way.

Once he reached the outside, he came to a stumbling stop to look around. He could barely breathe when he took a look around in hopes of finding her. Everything was weighing heavy on him, but mostly confusion. How’d she get back here and why was she running away? And how was she alive?

Finally, his eyes locked onto Y/N when he saw that she was standing by the gate where they had all of the walkers attached to it to keep people from trying to enter The Sanctuary.

“Y/N!” Negan called out her name once more, fear overtaking him when he saw her getting close to the fence. With him approaching, it had the growling sounds from the walkers growling and they seemed to get more animated with him there. Coming to a stop drew her eyes away for a minute to gaze over at him and Negan threw his hands up in the air. His pulse was pounding inside of his head, his breathing uneven when he approached her. “Y/N? What are you doing? How’d you get here? You’re alive.”

Smirking, she gave Negan a weird expression before going back to observing the walker. When she leaned a little too close in for his comfort, he threw his hand up to stop her, “Hey! Be careful. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Calm down,” she breathed out with a wrinkle of her nose. She seemed to be taking in the features of the walker that was before her. Without any fear, she stepped closer to it and it had Negan stepping forward. “It’s not like I’m going to get bit or anything. Well…again.”

“That’s not funny,” Negan grunted under his breath drawing Y/N to smile, tipping her head from side to side. Reaching out she poked at the abdomen of the walker before her and Negan didn’t know how to react to the way she was acting. “I don’t understand what’s going on right now. You’ve been gone for weeks. You make it back to The Sanctuary, you’re perfectly okay and the first thing you decide to do is run away from me so you can get close and personal with the walkers?”

Again, she didn’t respond to him as she poked at a different spot on the walker which made the growling sounds grow louder, “Hey! I’m talking to you. After everything that happened the last time I saw you, this is what you decide to do? Not go to your children? And you’re making jokes about being bitten?”

“You’re being too sensitive,” she stammered, finally giving her full attention to Negan resting her hands on her hips. “Maybe I’m just taking more after you. Making light of a dark situation. You’re the one with the dark humor here. Take the stick out of your ass Negan.”

“I…what?” Negan responded in disbelief when she snickered to herself and started walking the length of the fence again. “Y/N? What are you doing?”

Brushing his fingers through his messy hair, Negan’s body was trembling and more than anything he wanted to wrap his arms around her to hug her, but she was acting so strange. Clearing his throat, a warmth flooded his face when he threw his hand up in the air.

“I imagine you’re really mad at me right now for leaving,” Negan suggested finally getting her attention when she looked back over her shoulder at him. “I heard that gun go off. I was certain that you killed yourself and I made a promise to you. I left and if I would have ever known that you were alive I promise I would have never left you. I told you that the mark on your arm didn’t exactly look like a bite.”

It seemed like she was thinking things over before turning on her heel to approach him, still saying nothing.

“You have no idea the hell that I’ve been through since that day. I thought you were dead. Evie thought you were dead,” Negan informed her with a broken sound, his hand hovering in over his chest and shaking when she let out a long exhale. “We need to take you to her. Come with me.”

Extending his hand out, Negan expected her to take it, but instead she just looked down at his hand and frowned, “Please.”

“Boss?” a voice surprised Negan causing him to jump. Looking back over his shoulder, he noticed that Laura was approaching him and all the color was drained from her face. The expression over her features almost made him uncomfortable the closer she got to him. “Who are you talking to?”

“What do you mean who am I talking to?” Negan was disgusted with Laura even asking him that question. Pointing toward Y/N had her eyebrows bouncing up. Laura looked in the direction he pointed before looking back to Negan again. “I think it’s kind of fucking obvious who I’m talking to.”

“You’re talking to…” Laura looked to the gate of walkers and cleared her throat uneasily. “The walkers?”

“What the fuck are you…” Negan let out an uneasy breath when a smirk tugged at Y/N’s features. If anything Laura looked concerned for Negan right now. Gazing between Y/N and Laura, Negan felt a chill running down his spine when he let out a hesitant sound. “This isn’t funny. She’s literally right here.”

“Who is?” Laura took a moment to ask after she looked around the area surrounding them. There was genuine concern in her eyes with Negan letting out an uncomfortable laugh.

“I don’t know what this is,” Negan announced nervously gazing between both women. Waving his hand about in Y/N’s direction had Laura’s lips parting and it looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t. “She’s right here. I don’t know if the two of you are doing this to get one over on me for letting this happen, but…”

“Negan,” Laura held her hand up in the air trying to get Negan to focus. Stepping forward, she grabbed a hold of Negan’s shoulders and he felt tense with her holding onto him like this. “Who am I supposed to be seeing right now?”

“Y/N. She’s right there and she’s…” Negan answered her, his voice breaking when Laura slowly released him. There was worry in her eyes with Laura looking Negan over. “I saw her in the hallways walking and then…how do you not see her she’s standing right there? This isn’t a funny joke.”

“Negan, no one is joking. I see no one. All I see is you talking to the air. It’s just you and the walkers,” Laura explained to Negan with a shake of her head. Reaching out, she curled her fingers around Negan’s wrist and nodded her head toward The Sanctuary. “Maybe I should get you to the doctor. What do you think?”

“I’m not crazy,” Negan suggested with a hesitant laugh looking down to Laura’s fingers curled around his wrist.

“Okay, you’re not crazy,” Laura held her hands up when Negan yanked his wrist from her. “You’re probably just tired. You’ve been out constantly looking for Y/N. Maybe you’re just exhausted and not getting enough sleep. How about I walk back with you to your room?”

“Fucking hell,” Negan lowered his head, pinching at the bridge of his nose. Cussing under his breath, Negan tried to gather himself. Looking again, he saw that Y/N was still standing there and she waved. “I have to be dreaming again.”

“Negan, you’re right here. You’re not sleeping,” Laura insisted, squeezing at Negan’s arm to try to comfort him. Nothing was making sense right now. It felt like the world was spinning around him and like he could throw up. “Do I need to get the doctor here to help you?”

“No. No,” Negan shook his head over and over again starting to realize what was happening here. God, he was going fucking crazy and seeing things. It felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack with the way his chest was tightening. With everything that he had just said in front of Laura, he knew that she also was going to think he was insane. Standing up straight, he dragged his hand down over the side of his face and feigned a smile. “I was actually just joking with you. That’s what this was.”

“A joke?” she repeated and Negan eagerly nodded his head. An awkward expression filled her features when Laura looked over Negan. Laura thought he was crazy. Hell, he thought he was crazy too. “Are you sure? Do you need me to stay with you?”

“No, I just need some space,” Negan assured her with a shrug of his shoulders, shoving his hands into his pockets. Not fighting with him, Laura turned on her heel before Negan called out to her. “Laura? Could you please not tell anyone about this today?”

“Of course,” Laura muttered before heading back toward what she was doing near The Sanctuary. Hopefully she would keep her word or else it would get back to Simon and somehow he would convince everyone that he was not mentally fit to be the leader. Which meant he would lose the help that he needed to actually find Y/N.

“Do you think I look like this one right now?” Y/N’s voice spoke up and it made every muscle in Negan’s body clench. Turning to face her again, Negan could see that she was observing one of the walkers that was on the fence more thoroughly. “I figure after all the rot and body decay, this has to be what I look like right now, right?”

“Stop,” Negan demanded when she chomped her teeth together almost mimicking the walker that was before her.

“Do you think I’ve killed someone? All that blood and rot coming out of my mouth,” Y/N pointed out toward the mouth of the walker again and Negan felt his heart racing inside of his chest. A muscle in his jaw flexed with his stare becoming more serious. “Aw. Negan. Loosen up. It’s not like I’m dead or anything.”

“You’re not really here,” Negan whispered to himself, turning on his heel as he headed back toward The Sanctuary. An overwhelming sense of guilt and agony filled him again almost like the first time he lost her. More than anything he was trying to keep it together when he headed back so people didn’t see him losing it again.

“Hey. Why are you running off?” Y/N’s voice beckoned him from behind. A long, overwhelmed sound escaped his lips. When he reached for the door, he stopped when he felt her fingers wrapping around his wrist to stop him. It felt so real and a tremoring breath fell from him. “You’re leaving me again?”

Swallowing down, Negan tried to avoid looking at Y/N as he walked back into The Sanctuary. The sound of her footsteps following him were heard again, but he tried to block it out, “Typical Negan. When things get hard he runs. Abandons me. Like he always did. Just like you did that night. Leaving me in that small town all alone.”

“Shut up!” Negan finally erupted, turning on his heel and it had everyone in the hallway jumping. Everyone looked around trying to figure out who he was talking to, but they just likely assumed that they were making too much noise so they all went silent. A smirk tugged at Y/N’s features when he swiftly started making it back up the stairs. When he almost reached the bedroom, he came to a stop when he noticed Y/N was still following him. Making sure he was alone, Negan surveyed the hallway before turning to look at her. “I need whatever this is to stop. I’m about to go be with our children and I can’t be having a mental break in front of them. Please. Leave me alone.”

“So now you want to get rid of me?” she was offended when Negan reached for the door again and pushed into it. An annoyed breath fell from Negan’s throat when she pushed through with him. Sitting at the center of the bed was Evie and Nathan staring up at him with big eyes. Closing the door, Negan stood before his children and felt like his entire body was on fire.

“I need to take a shower,” Negan announced, his voice raspier than normal. “Maybe after we do that, the three of us can go for a walk around outside before I go out looking again tonight.”

“That’d be nice,” Evie nodded her head, but she seemed worried with the way that Negan looked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Negan assured her, looking back toward the door to see that Y/N was leaning back against it. Heading for the bathroom, Negan stopped and swallowed down loudly. Everything felt so surreal right now. Negan didn’t know if he hadn’t had enough sleep or if something weird was actually going on. He really felt like he was having a mental breakdown. Especially since he could see Y/N standing there like she was perfectly okay, yet no one else could. “Evie? Do you see your mother?”

“What do you mean?” Evie replied back, unsure how to answer. Holding his finger up toward the door, Negan noticed that he was shaking an incredibly large amount when Y/N looked over toward their children that were sitting down on the bed together. Evie gazed over at the area that Negan was pointing at and worry began to flood her young features, “Are you asking me if I see her there? I don’t see anything daddy.”

“I meant,” Negan whimpered, licking his lips when he shakily lowered his hand. He didn’t even know why he asked her that. He knew that Y/N wasn’t really there. That was when his eyes started burning over. He broke. He finally broke. Something was seriously wrong with him because he was seeing someone that wasn’t there. “I meant in your sleep.”

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes,” Evie didn’t know how to answer when she reached for a toy that Nathan was outstretching his hand out to grab. Helping him, she played with Nathan in attempts to keep him calm. “Daddy, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Negan lied reaching up to wipe at his face when he started crying. At this point, he couldn’t hold back on his emotions. They were just coming whether he wanted them to or not. Taking in a deep breath, he pointed toward the bathroom again and nodded. “I’m going to shower.”

Making a quick escape, Negan stumbled into the bathroom and kicked out of his boots. Heading for the shower, he turned the water on and dropped his head forward. Counting to himself, he tried to get himself to calm down when he started crying again. Stealing another look back, Negan could see that Y/N was still there and she was in the bathroom with him. It felt like the air was being stolen from his lungs and the room was spinning.

“You can’t just block me out Negan,” she declared drawing him to lower down onto the ground. Pulling himself into the shower, he remained fully clothed when he started breaking down again. The water was freezing and it hurt like hell with it pouring down in over his flesh, but he was punishing himself. Rocking back and forth, Negan covered his head when he heard her sigh. “Negan?”

Covering his ears, Negan slammed his eyes shut in hopes that he would be able to pull himself from this because this was only hurting him more. God knows how long he was in there before he felt hands pressing in over his shoulders. Lifting his head up, he saw that Evie was knelt down in front of him. When she felt how cold he was, she scrambled for the shower to turn it off.

“What are you doing?” Negan questioned watching Evie scramble to grab a towel to wrap it around him. “Evie?”

“I heard you crying,” Evie informed him with worry in her eyes. Trying to tug on his hands, she was eager to get him out of the shower, but he wouldn’t budge. “Daddy, I need you to get up. You’re freezing. You need to change and…”

Even though he knew he was doing everything wrong, Negan was locked inside himself. Everything hurt and he felt like he was dying. Reality was really starting to sink in for him and he hated everything right now. He was broken and it was a broken that you couldn’t fix.

“Daddy please,” Evie begged, struggling to get Negan up, but he wouldn’t budge. “Daddy get up.”

With a final unsuccessful tug, Evie fell back onto her bottom and let out a defeated sound. Tears swelled up in her eyes seeing her father having a complete and total breakdown in front of her, “You’re not the only one that lost her!”

A whimper fell from Negan’s throat when she threw her hands up in the air, Evie’s cries filling the bathroom when she stared out at him with pain in her eyes, “We lost mom. And if you keep up with the way you are acting we are going to lose you too. You’re not the only one that lost her dad. You only just got her back. She was with us the whole time. And she was a good mom. So please. Please. You have to stop.”

“I’m sorry,” Negan’s voice was broken when he shakily got up to his knees and threw his hands up in the air. There was an ache that would likely never go away. He was heartbroken and he didn’t know how to stop it. “I’m so sorry. I just…I don’t know what to do. I hurt. It hurts so much and…”

Dropping his head down, Negan’s hands braced on the ground when his sobs started to fill the air again. Getting up, Evie slid forward to wrap her arms around Negan while he cried. Shakily, he lifted his arms to wrap her up in a hug. Hell, he couldn’t explain to her what was going on right now, but he knew he needed to start faking it for the children. She was right. He was all they had and he had to figure things out. If not for himself, he needed to do it for them.

----

It had been another rough few weeks. Anyone who saw Negan likely knew that he was a fucking disaster right now. It was rare that he made a public appearance in The Sanctuary lately. Instead he had other people running things for him. He was unkept. Still broken and depressed. His hair was messy and longer than normal. His beard was longer and he just wore whatever the hell was comfortable. Every day he still went out searching for Y/N, but he found nothing. By this point he had pretty much given up completely. There was no sense in searching for someone who was so obviously gone. And someday soon he knew that he was going to have to stop it all together.

One of the only positives was that when he was here, he was spending all of his time with Evie and Nathan. He imagined that was something that Y/N would have liked about this. Then again, she probably wouldn’t have liked it all that much since he promised her that he would be going to the farm with the children and he hadn’t done that yet.

Lifting his eyes from where he was seated on the bed with Nathan, Negan could see that Evie was still working on whatever it was that she had been for a while now. Since Evie found Negan in the shower like she had, things had been awkward between them. Negan knew that she saw the broken pieces of him. It made things uncomfortable. Truthfully? They were both so fucked up over losing Y/N. They were both broken and there was no fixing it. The only thing that could fix it was Y/N and they were both coming to terms with the fact that she was never coming back. Well, in the physical sense for Negan at least.

He kept it to himself, but Negan was still seeing Y/N. Daily. Thankfully, right now she was nowhere to be found and that made him happy. Every time she showed up, he had a meltdown and he knew it. It was something he couldn’t explain to Evie, so he likely came off snappy whenever she’d ask him about it. Negan felt like a freak and there was nothing he could do to change that. If this was the normal world, he could get help, but the world wasn’t what it used to be. He couldn’t get help. If he went to the doctor here, it was just a doctor. Not a psychiatrist. And if he did ask for help, somehow it would get out to Simon or someone else that didn’t have faith in him and he would lose everything. He couldn’t lose everything right now. Not when he still needed the resources.

“Do you know what this is?” Negan pointed toward the image in the book that he was reading to Nathan. Every day he was trying to help Nathan become more comfortable with talking and learning things. He knew that Y/N insisted that he was smart, but he didn’t want people to think that there was something wrong with Nathan, so he was working with him.

“A dog,” Nathan was excited to answer, lifting his head up to get praise from Negan who nodded slowly. “A brown one.”

“Yes it is,” Negan watched Nathan flipping the next page while he stroked his fingers through Nathan’s hair. Nathan was cuddled up beside him while they worked together. It was something Negan honestly tried to do every day. He had someone working with both Nathan and Evie, but he was putting a lot of work into helping Nathan. “And what about this?”

“A bed!” Nathan’s voice was high pitched, but it made Negan happy that he started to get Nathan talking more.

“What about the color?” Negan tapped on the page and it was one where Nathan had to think about things. “You got this.”

“Red?” Nathan’s eyebrows furrowed, his facial expression showing that he was unsure. Nodding slowly had Nathan giggling when he looked to the book again.

“Good boy,” Negan praised Nathan on getting something right again. The sound of Evie moving her chair caught their attention when they finished with the book, but Negan was still eager to get Nathan talking again. Setting the book aside, Negan tapped at Nathan’s nose and it had Nathan rocking back with laughter. “What’s this?”

“My nose daddy,” Nathan pushed Negan’s hand aside with a big belly giggle when Negan started tickling at Nathan’s stomach. The uncontrollable laughter fell from Nathan’s throat with the way that Negan was playing with him and it had Negan smiling. Probably for the first time in a long time. “Stop!”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Negan lowered down to pepper kisses against Nathan’s face. It had happy sounds filling the air which lightened the mood of everything. It made Negan happy in some way that Nathan was too young to understand that Y/N was gone. Between Negan and Evie there was so much sadness, but with Nathan there was still a sense of purity and innocence. He was happy still and Negan needed that right now. Finally stopping, Negan saw the happy tears at the corner of Nathan’s eyes when Negan rest back on his elbow. “Okay, what about your name?”

“Hey daddy,” Evie called out with an excited breath trying to get Negan’s attention, but he held his finger up motioning her to wait. Arching his eyebrow up, Negan was looking to Nathan expectantly while Nathan grabbed a hold of his toes. “Daddy?”

“Hold on Evie,” Negan requested, his attention locked on Nathan. When Nathan didn’t answer, Negan reached out to playfully stroke his fingers through his son’s hair to mess it. Having Negan ignoring her had the smile fading from her face while Negan played with Nathan. “I know you know this answer. Don’t try to fool your daddy.”

“It will just be a second,” Evie spoke up once more with uncertainty in her tone. Looking to what she had been working on, she pushed it out toward the center of the table in hopes that she could catch Negan’s attention. “Daddy?”

“Nathan,” Nathan finally answered, his pronunciation of the word a bit broken since it was still a little hard for him.

“And how old are you?” Negan pushed after clapping his hands together. The lines in his forehead grew with his dimples becoming more prominent while he watched his son closely. “How old?”

“I’m three!” Nathan responded and Negan inhaled deeply before shaking his head. “No?”

“Not yet. Almost though!” Negan reasoned with his son, grabbing a hold of Nathan’s hands to wiggle his arms. “You’re still two!”

“Oh!” Nathan’s mouth made a big circle shape and it had Negan snickering.

“What’s this?” Negan reached for Nathan’s toes, bringing Nathan’s foot up so he could blow raspberries at the bottom of his son’s foot. It had Nathan hollering out in laughter which had Negan laughing too.

“Mine,” Nathan pulled his foot back away from Negan making Negan feel some sense of joy with how enthusiastic Nathan was being. “Toes.”

“Good boy,” Negan cheered on his son before pointing toward his own chest. “Who am I?”

“My daddy,” Nathan almost squeaked out in enthusiasm reaching out to sink his fingers into Negan’s hair. Pulling Negan close, Nathan kissed at Negan’s cheek before Negan started to return the gesture. Peppering kisses over Nathan’s face, Negan tickled at his son’s abdomen while they laughed together.

“Daddy?” Evie called out again after allowing Negan some time with Nathan, but this time Negan didn’t even give her a response when he pointed at Nathan’s chest again.

“So how old are you again?” Negan wanted to get Nathan to say it right this time.

“Two,” Nathan had the right answer this time and Negan threw his hands up in the air to cheer on his son.

“That’s right!” Negan gave a proud nod and he was being dramatic with the way that he was saying things hoping to get Nathan excited to learn. Reaching for Nathan, Negan pulled him in close to give him a big hug, making silly noises when they played together.

“Hey daddy, can I just…” Evie began trying to get her father’s attention if only for a moment.

“Evie!” Negan snapped when he heard Evie calling out to him again, his eyebrows furrowed showing that he was angry with her trying to get his attention as he lifted his head up to stare out at her. “I asked you to give me a goddamn minute. Fuck! When I’m ready for you, I will let you know. You don’t have to keep saying my name. I heard you the first fucking time.”

After he said that, Negan immediately regretted it when he saw her face turn a light shade of red. The expression she gave showed that he hurt her feelings before she dropped her head down. Sitting up, Negan went to say something, but he didn’t know what to say with her face growing a deeper shade of red. Nathan crawled into Negan’s lap in attempts to continue to try to play with him. Clearing his throat, Negan looked to Nathan who was playing with Negan’s fingers and Negan could feel a lump growing in his throat with Evie’s reaction to him yelling at her.

Dropping her pencil, Evie pushed the paper that she was working on even further out away from her in an unhurried movement. By her expression, Negan could tell that she was doing everything she could to hold back on crying with her head lowered.

“What do you want, Evie?” Negan finally spoke, adjusting Nathan in his lap noticing the way that her fingers curled around the edge of the table. There was a single tear that slid down her face and it made Negan feel guilty. “Evie?”

“Never mind. It’s not important anyways. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry,” she sniffled, pushing her chair further away from the table. Lifting her hand, she wiped at her face with the back of it and Negan knew he should have been saying something, but he didn’t. “Can I please go to the bathroom?”

“Evie,” Negan frowned lifting one of his hands to bury his head into his palm realizing that he just upset his daughter.

“Please,” she begged still keeping her head tipped away from him because she didn’t want him to see her upset.

“Of course honey, you don’t have to ask me that,” Negan tried speaking softly to her since he knew he fucked up with the way he yelled at her. Swiftly she stood up from the table and was quick to run into the bathroom. The sound of the fan turning on was heard and he knew that she did that to likely hide from him that she was crying from what he had done. With a frown, Negan curled his arm tightly around Nathan to pull him close. Standing up, Negan brought Nathan with him when he headed over toward the table to look at what Evie obviously had been calling him over for. Grabbing what he realized was a drawing, he pulled it up to see that it was him playing with Nathan on the bed that she had drew. “Fuck.”

For a ten-year-old, it was actually incredibly well done. There was no questioning that Evie had a real talent for art. Even this early on it was obvious. He remembered when she was little how she was drawing all the time. He thought he got her started on that since he always used to doodle and draw. But this was beyond anything he had seen her do in the past.

Letting out a hiss, he looked back over his shoulder at the bathroom door wishing he would have never snapped at her like that. She was just excited to show him something that she had done and it was probably something that she was proud of.

“Good job,” Y/N’s voice was heard from the other side of the room. Looking toward the couch, Negan felt a pain at the center of his chest and he huffed when he saw her sitting there. So much for having a day without seeing her. “You’re really working on getting father of the year. Aren’t you?”

“Please, not now,” Negan begged, lifting his free hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose in hopes of getting this to stop. “I can’t take this right now.”

“Well excuse me,” she breathed out, throwing her hands up dramatically when she leaned back against the couch as if to get comfortable. Why Negan was seeing her truly drove him mad, but he was hoping that he would stop having these visions, not that she would keep coming back. “You make our daughter cry and I’m just supposed to keep my mouth shut? You’re really dropping the ball with Evie, Negan. You’re her favorite and you’re ruining her relationship with you.”

“I’m not,” Negan reasoned with her, noticing that Nathan was looking up at him confused since Negan was ultimately talking to thin air. Hopefully Nathan thought he was talking to himself instead of picking up on his weird habits. “I snapped at her one time. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“Right. Keep telling yourself that,” she put her feet up on the coffee table when Negan headed for the bed to sit down with Nathan. He wanted to keep working with Nathan, hoping to block out Y/N. “So you’re just going to let her cry in the bathroom?”

“I have two children. When she’s ready for me to talk to her, she will come out,” Negan reasoned handing over one of the toys that he had gotten with Y/N from that store from the night everything happened to Nathan. “I can’t stop paying attention to Nathan just because she’s crying. I also need to allow her the right to her privacy. She’s in the bathroom, she doesn’t want me in there with her.”

“She’s starting to think that Nathan is your favorite,” Y/N spoke up having Negan grumbling under his breath. “You’re barely talking to her and interacting with her. You’re spending all of your free time with Nathan. And when you are with her, she’s taking care of you. You’re not acting like her father, Negan. Being a father was the thing you did best and you’re failing.”

“No, I’m a good father,” Negan corrected, his eyes lifting up angrily from where he was seated on the bed with Nathan. “I’ve been spending all of my time with both of them. I’m being a good father. I’m looking for their mother and I’m doing my best.”

Hearing the sound of the bathroom door opening, Negan watched as Evie walked beyond the table instead of going back to her drawing. Sadness flooded his body when he saw her drop down on the opposite couch that he had been seeing Y/N on. Evie turned and faced the back of the couch after grabbing a pillow to hold onto it.

“You’re not going to go back and finish working on what you were doing?” Negan inquired, speaking loud enough to let Evie know that he was talking to her.

“It’s crap anyways,” Evie retorted with a sigh, squeezing the pillow tightly in her arms.

“I can’t imagine anything you do is crap,” Negan didn’t know if he should tell her that he looked at the drawing or not since she had run off after everything. “Do you want to show me what you were working on?”

“You don’t want to see it,” Evie replied back and Negan could tell that he had upset her. “Just keep playing with Nathan.”

“I’m sure Nathan and I would love to see what you were working on,” Negan suggested feigning a smile in hopes that she would look at him, but she wasn’t. Brushing his fingers through Nathan’s hair, Negan could see that Nathan was preoccupied with the toy Negan gave him and Negan stood up from the bed. Heading over to Evie, Negan knelt down and caressed his fingers over her shoulder. “Hey…listen…”

A long exhale fell from his throat when he tried to get Evie to look at him, but he could hear her crying still which meant she was fighting looking at him, “I didn’t mean to yell at you Evie, I was just…”

The sound of a knock on the door was heard and it made Negan huff out loudly. The person at the other end didn’t wait as the door pushed open, “What?”

“Gregory is going to be stopping by in about an hour,” Simon informed Negan, grasping tightly to the door while he stared out at Negan from across the room. “Apparently he has information about something that is going on with Rick and the rest of the crew. It’s life and death according to him. So I suggest you clean up and get ready because you are going to be at that meeting.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something,” Negan declared with a frown hating to hear that he was being demanded of something when he was about to make up with his daughter. Well, at least try to. “It can wait.”

“No Negan, it can’t,” Simon snarled at Negan, moving further into the room when he threw his hands up in the air. “He said life or death. So I suggest you take it seriously because that means it could effect the lives of everyone here. Including your children. So if you care about your children, you will get up, get ready and be prepared for that fucking meeting in an hour.”

“Got it,” Negan grumbled under his breath. For once, this did actually seem like a big deal. Once Simon left, Negan looked back to Evie who was still facing the back of the couch. “Evie?”

“Don’t worry about it dad,” she whispered quietly, but he still managed to hear her. “You have more important things to deal with right now. Go do whatever you have to do.”

“Baby,” Negan frowned realizing that Simon coming in and telling him what he did wasn’t going to fix anything when it came to Evie. They should have been having a discussion where he apologized and she had his full attention. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she was still hurt and Negan knew that.

“Listen. Daddy is gonna go get cleaned up for this meeting. After it’s over, how about while Nathan is taking his nap you and I watch a movie together? Maybe we can set this area up, get someone to make some popcorn for us. Get some snacks. What do you say?” Negan caressed over Evie’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too,” she breathed out with Negan leaning forward to press a kiss over her temple. He wished she would have said more, but he hurt her. There was no denying that.

Even though he didn’t have any passion in what was happening, Negan took a shower. Cut his hair. Trimmed his beard. Put on the leather jacket, slicked back his hair and pretended. He feigned that smile and that arrogance. He went down to that meeting and did what he had to do. He put on his show. That’s what he always did. But when Rick showed up? Well that’s when everything changed.

At this point in his life he had dropped things with Rick in the name of finding Y/N. But when he was shot in the leg and they shot out the windows of The Sanctuary. That’s when this became personal. That’s when he knew that he had to start focusing on finishing this war. Rick and his crew put his children in danger and Negan didn’t even know if they were okay.

Pacing to the side of the small trailer that he was trapped in, Negan felt the overwhelming heat surrounding him. Trying to look through the small cracks of the boarded-up windows of the trailer, he found himself in a sense of panic. He didn’t even know if his children were okay. And the last thing he did was hurt his daughter’s feelings. More than anything he was scared. Scared if he would make it back to his children. And he was left wondering if they were all right. Now, Negan was going to have to end this war once and for all before he could make the world right for his children. Because Rick made this personal when he involved his children in the danger he was bringing down on Negan and The Sanctuary. And he wasn’t okay with that.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @felicity291 @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @neganswoman @ravenrose18

#Negan #Negan x reader #Negan fanfiction #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction #negan x you #Negan Smith

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yayeetsonny · 4 months

Text

One can only take so much… before they break

(Alex Morgan X OC)

Hi, yes i know i’ve been away for a very long time, but I wanted to give this writing thing another shot to see if I still had anything left in the tank. Hopefully this isn’t the most dreadful thing you’ve ever read. So sorry if it is. Please be advised this one deals with some very strong emotions and topics. Implied mental abuse, Suicidal ideation and just overall sadness and anxiety. This will be a multi parter as my fingers got away from me lol.

This one is 99% Alex x OC, although the character’s name is never dropped as I wasn’t sure if I was going to make this an x reader fic or not. If anyone has any name suggestions at the end I’m all ears. And future parts will definitely be more USWNT x OC

3.4k Words

Everything is your fault. It always is. Why can’t you do anything right?! It all fell apart because of you! You know that, and so do they. They hate you for it. Your own mother won’t even talk to you.

“Hey, kid… Kid?…Dude!” I was so lost in thought I didn’t even hear one of my teammates calling out to me.

“Huh? What?” I looked up to see Alex looking down at me worriedly.

“Are you okay little duck?” She said squatting down so she was eye level with me. She put her hand on my cheek rubbing it softly raising an eyebrow when i didn’t say anything immediately.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I said softly, making a poor attempt at a smile but I’m fairly certain it came across as a grimace instead. I looked down and refused to look back up even though I could feel Alex trying to get me to look at her.

“Hey… what is it?” She said moving her head so she could look into my eyes, which at this point were watering and I was doing my very best to force the tears away.

“I-It’s nothing… I-I’m fine.” I said, my voice breaking. I brought my hand up to rub my eyes and I stood up and tried to make a quick get away, but Alex wasn’t having it.

“Stop, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders to try and stop me from leaving but I pushed her off and started to walk away.

“I said I’m fine, just drop it Alex. Please.” I gave up trying to stop the tears, they were freely flowing now and i let out a sob as I broke into a full sprint when I heard her starting to follow me, calling out to me. I ran passed several of our fellow national team, teammates who were watching everything unfold.

I beat her to the locker room, grabbed my stuff and made a mad dash to my car, getting in and attempting to regulate my breathing. The tears were still coming in full force, sobs racked my body as I tried and failed to calm myself down. How pathetic is this? Crying like a big baby, because your mommy made you sad? I really am weak aren’t I? No that’s not true. The girls always tell me I’m strong and that I’m their brave big girl. Yeah it’s a bit baby-ish but it gets the point across. I wrestled with my own thoughts and was so engrossed in arguing with myself that i didn’t even realize I made it back to my apartment already. I also didn’t hear my phone ringing incessantly while I drove. I hesitated a bit seeing as it was Alex, probably trying to figure out where i went. It almost went to voicemail before i decided to answer.

“Hello” my voice was raw from all the crying I did, but I sounded more tired than distraught now.

“Baby, where did you go? What happened back there? Why did you run away? Please talk to me. I’m worried about you.” She said all in one breath, I bit my lip contemplating my answer. Then i took a deep breath and decided to just bite the bullet and be at least partially truthful.

“I… um, I was going thru a-a lot during the break between camps, I mean I guess I still am going thru a lot right now, given my very apparent meltdown earlier. I-I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t do it again, I swear.” My damn voice started breaking again as the tears started back up.

“Hey, hey, hey… little one, please breathe, you’re okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. Take deep, slow breaths, in and out.” she said gently, guiding me thru some breathing exercises until my breathing was less erratic. “Can you tell me where you are please? I’m going to come get you and we’ll talk this through and maybe we can order a pizza and watch movies, what do you say?” She asked, I could tell she was trying to remain calm but I could hear her voice quiver just slightly. She was scared, and rightfully so, this isn’t the first time I’d run off and usually when i did, I became self destructive at worst and let myself rot in bed for a week at best.

“I’m at the apartment.” I said and she let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Okay good. I’m on my way, be there in 10. Stay there, please.”

I took one last deep breath before I got out of the car and made my way inside. I intended to sit on the couch and wait for her to get home but then the more i thought about having to talk to Alex about what’s been going on the more anxious i became. I started pacing and started mumbling to myself about what i was going to say and how I was going to say it. I wanted to let Alex in but I knew if I wasn’t careful I would let her in too much and I wasn’t ready for that. Being 17 and all my ability to regulate my emotions and understand them wasn’t the best as I’m sure you’ve already figured out.

10 minutes went by quickly and Alex was there before i knew it. She quickly made her way inside and dropped her bag by the door, coming up to me and taking me by the shoulders again to get me to stop pacing.

“Stop, please. You’re spiraling, what’s going on?”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what? Is it your family? Soccer?”

“Family.” I mumbled, attempting to yank myself out of her grasp but she just wrapped her arms around my torso tightly so i couldn’t run away. “Let go Alex I can’t do this. Please let go.” I kept fighting against her hold but she wasn’t relenting, and while i would’ve denied it in the moment, I needed that.

“Shh, shh bub, just relax. I’ve got you. I’m here now it’s all gonna be okay, okay? I promise. Please just let me help you.” She said softly and I finally just allowed her to fully pull me against her chest, she relaxed her grip just slightly moving one of her hands to the back of my head, stroking my hair softly, resting her chin on the top of my head. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” She whispered, and she continued to mumble reassurances to me as she rocked me in her arms slightly.

“Do we have to talk about this?” I mumbled.

“Yeah kid unfortunately we do. You know the rules when you decide to run away like you did earlier.” She kissed my head before picking me up with ease and moving us to the couch. She kept her hold on me and let me curl up into her lap, I tucked my head in the crook of her neck.

“I don’t want to.” I attempted to say firmly but it came out as a whine.

“Remember what I said? It’ll all be okay. I know this is scary but I’m not going anywhere and anything you tell me isn’t going to scare me away. I promise you. You’re my brave big girl, hmm?”

“I’m 17, you know?” I said in an attempt to seem tough.

“And that’s why i said you’re a big girl. But you’re still the baby on the team and little one to me.” She said chuckling softly. “You can do this.” she said after a moment rubbing my arm gently.

“I can do this.” I repeated to myself. I moved myself out of the safety of Alex’s arms slightly, putting some distance between us and turning to fully face her, steeling myself for the tough conversation ahead. I’m a very sensitive and emotional person so these conversations always make me cry no matter how much I try to stop it.

Do you want me to call the rest of the girls? Is this something they should know about too?”

“Too many people. Not ready, I think it’s better if I tell you everything first and then maybe only tell them the gist of it after.”

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. So you know how in between camps and during off season I go home to be with my family? Well I went and everything fell apart, and it’s all my fault. Just like everything always is.”

“Hey, no don’t say that.” She cut me off, she hates when i am self deprecating.

“Its true though. I fucked everything up. You know how my brother and I work at the same place right? Well and you know how my shift is closing? So I work 1-10pm? Which my mom hates.” She nodded her head as I was talking to let me know she was following along. “Well one night it was bad… The weather was horrendous because in my hometown we get a lot of snow. A-and so one of the days I worked I was one of the f-few people to show up and, when everything was all said and done there was a huge mess left behind from the disaster of a day we had….” I was beginning to become emotional just thinking about what had happened that night, and i hated that it still made me feel such strong emotions.

“It’s okay, do you want to keep going?” Alex asked me softly, stroking the back of my head softly. she knew sometimes that talking about things was hard for me and that i needed to take breaks in order to get the whole story out.

“Yes i need to. I can do it.” I said determinedly. Blinking away the tears.

“Anyways, it was a mess and being a “Back up Team lead” sometimes i made a decision to send everyone else home and clean up. And since my brother worked on overnights I called him and asked him to come help me clean up so that i could go home at a semi-reasonable time. He came over to help but when they wanted to send him back to his normal area he refused and he s-started arguing with his boss about how he was going to choose family over his job at the moment and they d-didn’t like that so they sent him home for the night, and he didn’t have a car so he called my mom to pick him up…” I stopped to catch my breath as i realize I hadn’t been breathing

“Shh, easy baby, nice, slow deep breaths, you’re doing so good.” She said. I hadn’t been looking at Alex very much this whole time but when I finally did I could see unshed tears in her eyes. I knew it was hard for her any time i was upset or emotional in a negative way. She gently wiped away the tears that made their way down my cheeks.

“My mom came to get him, and then she called me, and she was angry, she demanded I come home so I did and when I got there she told me she had a lot of opinions about what happened but she was just going to keep her mouth shut. She told me to get out of her sight so I did. She wouldn’t even look at me. Just like that I was transported back to when I was a little kid and she would get angry and she would just tell me she didn’t want to look at me. It felt like a knife to the chest. I didn’t understand what i did to upset her so much and I knew she wouldn’t tell me. All part of her “healing process.” I said bitterly.

“Fast forward to the next morning, I woke up to the news my brother had been fired. I called him to apologize and I asked him what our mom said to him and he said that she blames me for him getting fired. She said I should have known better. I knew how much he needed that job.” My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as I played with the strings of my hoodie.

“That wasn’t your fault, you have to know that.”

“Yes it was. It is. He hasn’t found a job since and he-he’s struggling again. You remember what happened last time he was struggling don’t you? I can’t do that again, I can’t! Everything he does, every decision he makes that’s not good is my fault. My mom wants me to be “an example” for him but he’s older! How fucking twisted is that?! Why are things never his fault?!” I yelled standing up suddenly startling Alex.

“Okay, okay let’s take a break hmm?” Alex stood up holding up her hands to show me she meant no harm.

“No! You don’t get it! Everything is my fault! My own mother thinks so! I know he’s struggling but can’t she see I’m struggling too?! ” I threw a plastic cup that was on the table across the room.

“Stop. Now. We don’t throw things when we’re upset, do you understand?” Alex said sternly.

My lip wobbled as I started crying again. “I’ve spent the last 4 years trying my very best to hold my family together through everything we’ve been thru. I got my brother the job working where i do and now I’m the reason he lost it. And now he and his girlfriend risk being homeless because she doesn’t have a job either. And if they lose their apartment they move back home with my mom, which means I’ll probably have to move back to be there with her because I can’t just leave her there by herself with them. It wouldn’t be fair. Which in turn means I’ll have to put my life on hold. The life I finally made for myself.”

I’m so tired of being emotional exhausted. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t even want to be alive anymore.”

“Woah, hold on… what do you mean by that?” Alex’s eyes widened as she processed what i said.

“I mean what I just said I don’t want to be alive anymore okay? I want the pain to stop. I need it to stop.”

The silence that followed was long and tense. I immediately regretted saying what i said. But realized i couldn’t walk it back. Alex finally took a deep breath and began speaking again.

“How long have you been feeling this way? Do you- Do you have a plan?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking as she did.

“No I don’t have a plan, I just sometimes think about how much easier it would be if I wasn’t here anymore. And sometimes I think about hurting myself but i haven’t acted on it. And i’ve been feeling this way since last year, when my mom and i got into that big blowout fight at Thanksgiving. You know she didn’t even want me moving out here? She’s never really let that fight go.” I laughed hollowly.

“Thank you for telling me, and being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy. Why didn’t your mom want you to move out here?”

“She thinks you and the girls have too much of an influence over me. She thinks you guys are “changing” me. She threatened to force me to quit playing soccer all together.”

“What? Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Didn’t seem relevant?! How’s that? If i had known that I would’ve just had you move out here permanently!”

“Alex…”

“No I’m serious! I understand you’re still 17 but you’re out of high school and you should be able to decide your own path.

“I’ve been trying, but the situation with my brother gives her more reason to say i should just quit playing.

Alex goes quietly again and I can tell she’s thinking. I can tell she’s angry. She has never really liked my mom and visa versa, their relationship is courteous at best.

“I think sometimes you forget that you’re still a kid. I know that you have had a lot put on your shoulders and that a lot is expected of you, but your brothers choices that night are not your fault and I’m sorry he’s having a hard time and he might have to move back home, which yes will be hard for your mom but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up your life for them. They will be okay. I promise you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes i do, you wanna know how I know?” She said and I nodded meekly.

“I know because your brother is strong, and so is your mom. And while i’ve never met her I’m sure his girlfriend is too. You don’t have to hold anyone else up but yourself. Not anymore. Their emotions and their… predicaments are not yours to try and fix. i don’t want you going home for a while okay? It’s clear that it’s taking a toll on you and to be frank, This is your home. Here with me, With the other girls. We have you okay? And we will never leave you. Ever.”

I turned away from her and tried to calm myself completely. I was so over all the crying and I bet you are too.

“You’re probably so sick of me crying.” I said chuckling quietly. Alex Vehemently shook her head and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my head.

“Not at all, you needed to get it out. it’s never good to hold it all in like you did, you know that.”

“I know, I just…”

“Have a hard time letting yourself be vulnerable. I know love. I know. So here’s what we’re going to do. I think writing your thoughts out might help what do you think?”

“Maybe…” i said hesitantly.

“Don’t worry no one else will read it but you. And the only way anyone will ever know anything you write down is if you tell them. And I know you going home for part of the year is to help you be able to pay your half of the rent but don’t worry about it okay? I will cover any excess we have from the missing income okay? I meant it when I said your home was here with me.”

“Alex you don’t have to-….”

“Yes i do. You’re very important to me, and I care about you and the things you need. And right now you need a bit of a break.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Anything for you kid. Now listen I also want you to really consider talking to a therapist or a mental health professional about how you’ve been feeling okay? I won’t force you but I think you might benefit from it. And please talk to me, or one of the other girls if you feel like hurting yourself. I don’t want you to think you have to go thru that alone okay?”

“Okay i will.” She’s right, it’s probably about time i go to therapy, I’m still hesitant as sharing my feelings and the things i keep inside has never been my strong suit.

“Now, how about you go take a warm shower to calm down a bit more, I’ll order some pizzas and get the girls over here?”

“I’d like that.” I smiled softly and headed upstairs to do as she suggested.

About an hour later I was showered, comfy and sitting on the couch sandwiched between Alex and Christen. A “Chrislex” sandwich if you will. Tobin was on Christen’s left, Mal, Sam, Kristie, Rose and the rest of the team were laying as close to me as they could get and spread out through out the living room. Pizza was also spread out through the room as people shared with one another. We had Moana on as the girls said I could pick and that’s my go to movie. I was so focused on the movie i almost didn’t notice my phone buzzing at my side. I looked at the text that came thru and my heart dropped as I realized who it was from… My mom.

“You need to come home.”

Is all it said. My hands instantly started shaking and I had that panicking feeling rising in my chest again. Alex looked over at me curiously and I forced the fakest smile i could muster onto my face. I’m in deep shit now…

To Be Continued…

There will be a part 2 and the rest of the team will be in that one more, promise. Please let me know what you think!

#uswnt imagines #uswnt #christen press #uswnt x reader #imagines #writing #alex morgan #uswnt x original character #alex morgan x orginal character

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