#some people get so so tense about like

[cookie-dough-writes]

I was never really around for old fandom culture but Oh my god I feel like we need to bring some of that attitude back. Bring back the word squick, I BEG. Some times in life people indulge in questionable stuff which might make you yourself uncomfortable, that's great, it's good to know what you don't like, but some times you just have to move on. You don't need to send a paragraph to someone explainging ummm their [harmless] take was totally wrong or that they're an evil person for making something a bit questionable.

It's good practice to breathe and move on. You need to pick your battles. Telling someone to kill themself over a POST ONLINE, no matter how dodgy, just is not constructive and rarely blows off steam. Just breathe, and move on.

#its as simple as that #and tbh if some 16 year old likes bakudeku despite all the reasons of why people hate it. who cares. #guilty pleasure. #also also side note can i just mention how some people see red whenever they hear like #for example selfcest? #its literally just #probably talking to the void right now #some people get so so tense about like #small things #saving this for the tags because its delicate but some people need to just stick their head above water for a bit #I dont use terms like pro ship or anti or anti anti or whatever #because the whole debate is way bigger than those 3 terms and it feels like everyone has a different interpretation of them #okay so #some times people will enjoy questionable things. thats a given #some times that might be something simple like yandere aus and some times itll be something as complex as toxic ships. #and now let me clarify. because whenever i try and verbalise it i feel like im walking on eggshells #i am not condoning anything specifically #but i used the word complex for a reason. because quite usually there is in fact complexities to when people find things like that indulgen #so MOST of the time everyone is better off if you just go oh. squick. and move on #squicks can range from things like “i cannot see how that ship would be healthy at all. that is not pleasurable to me” to “hm no i dont lik #how this character is written by this personohh haha what if this character met another dimension version and they kissed and made out a lit #metaphor" #and people used to be chill about it but now people go crazy and i wonder if its purely just because it has cest as a suffix #same with oh what was it #objectophilia? which is literally just attraction to inanimate objects. pretty neutral right. but then when looking into it a ton of people #ALSO go crazy and ive literally seen people argue like 12 year olds that because it ends in philia its bad and distgusting and evil #??? #are we just not using common sense anymore. or. #sorry im sleep deprived and im just so so tired of seeing people argue instead of living #can we all just love each other and live parralell to people we do not like

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[epicfirestormer]

What I love about Hellboy and Abe Sapien's dynamic in the comics is that, if you came into this blind, you'd expect Abe to be the voice of reason or the straight man to Hellboy's impulsive and hotheaded personality. But no, Abe is more often than not the crazy one. Hellboy would deal with fighting evil monsters and bad guys by just sighing and getting it over with, while Abe is going rabid over tearing the creature apart when he does get into a fight. Hellboy acts like it's a 9-to-5 job and will reasonably talk things out with a guy that had nearly killed him before, Abe acts like a madman in a slaughter house and his first instinct is to shoot first kill second and ask third. They're both insane, but on completely different levels.

#wheres that one comic where abe gets into a mission and has to tear down a monster with an axe #then at the end when hellboy appears and sees abe going ham while covered in blood. he's like ''oh hey abe. good job you're doing there'' #hellboy was not even worried for a second. he trusts abe to handle things on his own #they both trust each other to do their job but they also know when they can handle a fight on their own and will help if needed. #their trust and bond with each other is so implicit but speaks volumes. they dont need to say anything. they just know #we talk so much about hellboy being like. an alright guy and a whole lot kinder than the world treats him. and that's right #but it really does make Abe look fucking batshit wild in comparison because of it #the entirety of the abe sapien comics is that the guy is on his hinges and the only thing keeping him sane before was his job (which is #debatable.) and the bprd. mostly hellboy and liz and kate and roger. johan and ben are a weird case but he does kinda care about them #i love abe btw. he's such an interesting critter. absolutely crazy maniac of a guy. #tbf i dont blame him considering his backstory. if i went through some of the shit he did; i would not be sane either #also. the moments post hellboy's death in the comics where abe is trying to deal with his passing but never directly says anything about it #until he was confronted by hellboy in his dream. thats the cool bit yknow. we dont need to be told Abe was grieving about hellboy #we just knew he wasn't handling it well. using present tense when talking about hellboy to other people. avoiding saying his name. #its great stuff #the fire burns #hellboy #hellboy comics #abe sapien

[the-unseelie-court-official]

Arent you that guy that burnt their grilled cheese?

So sad

Next time add some BUTTER to that PAN you FUCKING SAVAGE

Thank you, stranger, for helping me learn more about myself

#getting called guy as a trans woman DOES really suck who woulda thought #also #I’m saying this as nicely as I can since I don’t think you had purposefully bad intentions here #we are not friends and you do not know me #I was like let me laugh at myself real quick about the time I was drunkenly making egg on toast in the pan and I was so worried about the #egg when I flipped the bread it was terribly burnt on that one side #notably only that one side I took a picture of #bc I was hammered and talking to a friend the whole time #and just. chances are when something is every day getting closer to 100k notes I’ve already been dunked on enough no? #like do y’all genuinely think you’re above making notable mistakes like that? #because you’re not #and I really wish people wouldn’t act like I’m some sort of invalid because I had #emphasis on the past tense #the good nature to laugh about #my damn fuckup

[ganondoodle]

i feel like my validation fueled drive to draw is running low so even tho i kinda want to draw non fanart or game dev stuff i cant get myself to do it bc i know it wont get much attention

#ganondoodles talks #random #not talking about numbers #like i know its wild to think about some shitty doodle getting seen and liked by 100 people #but i need like #direct comments #or something #at least thats whats keeping me going #idk #might also be me dealing with cramps and all the side effects of that shit too #i feel like my body is unable to un-tense my muscles #idk if thats from that issue or something else #but i hate it nonetheless #i cant comit to working on anything bc its not gonna get me the kind of feedback i need right now #perhaps it will be gone tomorrow but i hate sitting around doing nothing #been playing some game a little more but its doing a number on my thumb so i cant keep that up like this lol

[ninjasmudge]

people really will say shit like 'the fic i found hasn't updated in a whole month so i think its been abandoned which is a shame, i wanted to read more' like where do you even get the nerve

#this definitely isnt abt my fic dw #this is me seeing other people start talking about fics in past tense if they havent updated in a little while #as if fic writers are your content creators that are writing for you and need to do it every day to keep the algorithm happy #ao3 doesnt have an algorithm and tiktok and other social media really really does rot your brain #like its a very specific level of anger that arises in me when i see people demanding shit for free constantly from random strangers #just because you liked something they made you think your entitled to tell thrm what to do? to demand more? #to tell them what to invest their time in when most of them have full jobs?? #theres not many things in life that get that deep anger from me but people like that really do #shark talks #l #for me its usually when i post a comic and some idiot is like 'part two?' in the replies immedietly its like. u didnt even reblog #or say you liked it. its a standalone comic what fuckin part 2 do you even want? #you dont even know youre just so used to demanding things like a child that you do it automatically

[youngpettyqueen]

I just wanna know what camp atmosphere was like after the events of Period of Adjustment

#mash #like the first few days to a week after that episode had to have been. Something #like there were lots of witnesses at Rosie's for one thing even if we didn't see what happened at Rosie's #but even the more private stuff after. word gets around fast #I feel like most people are extra nice to Klinger for about a week #some overbearingly nice but the thought and intent is appreciated #meanwhile with BJ there's a MUCH different attitude kjfhkjdfh #I think the most sympathy he gets is from some in the main cast #I think Potter and Klinger would be the most sympathetic #Margaret does feel for him but she's also miffed and is curt with him for a few days until she cools down #I think Charles is pissed but won't admit it and just gives him the cold shoulder for a few days #and then just acts like nothing happened #Mulcahy is also pissed and says so but keeps it short and then gives him the silent treatment till he calms down #he calms down quicker than Margaret and Charles and probably helps BJ with his lingering feelings on the whole thing #not including Hawkeye's feelings here cause he was THERE and also it would take me a week #in terms of the rest of camp I feel like it's incredibly tense because like #they all know mostly through word of mouth #like surely some people in camp heard the commotion and their entire context was #yelling glass breaking and next day Hawkeye's got a black eye and BJ cant even look at him #and then again. word spreads quickly #and Hawkeye is very much beloved! #most people probably avoid him till the atmosphere calms down #my kingdom for a follow up episode just to see like #one scene is Klinger getting help from all sides and everyone being just ridiculously nice #cut to BJ walking into the mess tent being met with dead silence and glares while he gets his food. he leaves and eats in the Swamp #I think about this a lot #will I write a full fic. no <3

[jrueships]

looooool lololololol

#sorry im pondering over the thought of diggs/allen afters*x sorry #they have very much opposite actions after doing it #josh loves his naps and his cuddles so he will want to call it an early night night after one handjobbie even #unless hes angry or frustrated. then diggs is gonna be on for a long. aching haul #but stef could go literally 700 rounds in the same night and still try to get up and wobble around the house doing whatever #his strange mind is set to #even with *** still dripping out his *** #obvs hes gonna clean it soon or just lick some of it off like hes a dirty h*e but hes not a dirty h*e u know #but when u have to make sure the singleperson chair is tilted just enough to capture ur good angle when u lay down like a cat in it #u have to make sure t(im not rewriting all that. i forgor) #u know!! #and ok maybe some of the wandering stems from diggs hating to display uncontrollable neediness/beauty in front of the people he cares about #MAYBE HE GETS A LITTLE EMBARRASSED ABT THE WAY HIS THIGHS TREMBLE AND THE MUSCLE JIGGLES THEN TENSES FROM CONSTANT CHANGE #MAYBE HE HATES THAT HE LOVES HOW HE HATES THE WAY HE LOVES WHEN ALLEN'S STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES ARE OVERTAKEN BY BLACK #FROM HIS PUPILS BLOWING AND HIS LIPS PARTING IN NOTHING BUT ADORATION AND ADMIRATION OVER HIS WR #and the bliss he's been put in OKAY MAYBE ! MAYBE !! #AND MAYBE BY GETTING AWAY FOR A BIT LIKE AN APATHETIC BLACK CAT SLINKING AWAY INTO THE NIGHT HELPS #KEEP STEF FROM COMPLIMENTING JOSH OVERANDOVERANDOVERAND- AGAIN. BCS HES JUST SO. UGHH. AND HE GETS SO. uGh #when stef compliments him and stef LOVES complimenting him bcs stef LOVES speaking the truth and what he says IS the truth #and josh LOVES hearing it and . UGHHH it's so MUSHY it's GROSS!!!!!!!@! grosser than the *** still in his *** #... even grosser than the fact that stef will sometimes hold off on cleaning up while walking away bcs he knows josh #as tired as he is.. will make the bed heave a great strain of spring and coils from the owner's devoted departure #following stef with blankets towels some freshly brewed tea and wrapping him into a big hug #as he breaks the singleperson couch from trying to cuddle like a giant dog that doesnt know it's a giant dog #MAYBE THEYRE GROSS AND SICK AND STUPID AND DOMESTIC OR WHATEVER! AND MAYBE DIGGS HATESLOVESHATESLOVESLOVES IT??? #THATS THEIR BUSINESS !! AND IM UP PONDERIN IT 🗣‼️‼️ SORRY #ted sus #diggs/allen #ted redacted #it's late so ihope noone sees this LOL it's embarrassingfr 😭😭 IHATELOVE

[lovelaceisntdead]

depression is the stupidest thing ever. like literally just stop that.

#soup brain bad bad bad #i am also the most anxious i have been for quite some time and it is. bad. #i am finding it very hard to care about anything and not push people away. #and i am so tired all the time. and i know that really shouldn't surprise me at this point. #but it all feeds into each other and it makes me feel guilty that I'm not being productive #even though what i need to do is let myself rest. but i am so tense if trued to bend at the waist i think i would snap clean in two. #I'm also growing my hair out and it's reached the point where it's making me feel evil. #I'm just having a bad time. i need to get out of this house. #i need to feel like a real human a real adult human.

[toytulini]

honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues

#toy txt post #im shocked hes gotten 11 bites in tbh thats insane? if nothing else. it sounds like that environment was not great for him stresswise if hes #biting that often #i dont buy into that dogs always have good character judgement thing but i do think there is probably some overlap with #commanders vibe checking and the general temperament of your average secret service agent being a disasterous combo of #commander not digging their vibe and the energy they bring to interactions with him. ESPECIALLY now that he has such an extensive history of #bad interactions w agents that like. for sure affects how they approach interacting w him #and like. probably some overlap w the agents hes biting and the agents who might have some unhinged politics of their own #that doesnt mean hes Aware or that his general Judge Of Character should be taken at face value #hes just a breed that is gonna be be pretty distrustful of strangers who is constantly having strangers in his space #that are probably asserting themselves in his space and close to his ppl in ways he doesnt like but that is basically part of their job #which he doesnt understand that. all he sees is Some Random Guy with annoying vibes thats probably giving him sideeye and #exuding vibes of 'god i hope this stupid fucking dog that bites secret service agents doesnt bite me' and the dog that bites secret service #agents is like hey bro whats with the attitude. why are you so close to my ppl. why are you tensing up when im near you? are you gonna #go after me bro? not if i get you first. and the cycle continues. fuckin oof #11 times is insane but honestly. honestly. if i had a bunch of assholes following me around with a tense aggro energy and shit #i feel like moxie might start biting. shes not bitten anyone yet so far despite her high level of distrust towards strangers but like. #i think if their was someone with fuckin. Cop Vibes getting all up in the space of her people she might give it a go. idk #maybe not. shes mostly more confrontational towards other animals than to ppl. w ppl she cowers and trembles. but idk sometimes when we're #trying to convince her she doesnt need to have an anxiety attack about every new person she'll sometimes like sit on one of us and then get #a little growly when someone comes close not just cos shes scared but also cos shes being protective. but also its funny bc she is also like #trying to hide between our legs like a baby penguin. she is simultaneously trying to Protecc and Be Proteccted

[bloggirl8842]

My psych says I don’t like my mom or my ex because they make me vulnerable but I think it’s because they are/were both serial boundary violators. Well serial boundary violators sounds serious but I mean they are just good kind people who would not leave me alone when i ask(ed)

#i mean so am i so i dont exactly blame them but like. my mom doesnt knock used to hold me down and epilate my body doesnt take no for an #answer ever on anything unless youre MEAN to her and i dont mean anything serious i mean she asked me to go to the store with her to pick #out paint for her walls i said no she asked again i said no she asked again i said no so she went on her own and facetimed me so id help her #pick. my ex had a similar thing where if i was like hey lets not talk tomorrow im burnt out hed be like okay and then the next day early #morning he’d send a good morning text and then several more throughout the day and then we’d call at the end of the night #people do who not let you fucking breathe. i hate it. if i saw my mom less often id probably like her but her so much as sitting next to me #on the couch will have me tense and pissed. she also takes glee in hating things i like and its not a conscious or serious thing but its #really weird. ive done the same for her since i was little i dont know who did it first. like ok we’re moving our new place had wallpaper in #my room i wanted to keep it she wanted to remove it she agreed to keep it and then made plans to remove it bc she was going to get rid of it #at some point later on anyway for the house’s value or something. they removed it recently and she showed me a vid of the place and when she #gets to my room shes like hehehe its goneee like girl what the fuck is going on with you. she wouldnt let me change the decoration of my #room as a child it had to be the way she liked it. even my body had to be the way she liked it dude the epilation thing shed laugh as i #cried (in a shirt and underwear man) bc i was finally hairless. my ex was nowhere near that bad but again ZERO breathing room and whenever #id try to take some hed be like ‘’i just worry that if you take this space you’ll come back and break up with me’’ uh. yeah with that #attitude the breakup’s coming either way. he’s a good guy though just 24 and a man (both sad afflictions) he’ll shape up. or not. idk im no #t invested #he did listen to a lot of what i said just not the basic things of ‘’leave me the fuck alone sometimes’m #im annoyed that my therapist framed this as a me issue but shes right when it comes to me having trouble w vulnerability and i should just #clarify my pov here so she can change her assessment #my ex leaves me alone now. he does a great job at it i thiiink hes moved on which im happy about #i dont know if id ever want to be friends again though idk if either of us can do that #i cant. rn #i understand why he wanted so much from me though. i get it

[microwaved-cheese-sandwich]

I also have an internal monologue constantly but it's like talking to another person. I mean I'm talking to myself but as if it was another person. So I also think/say "you have to do this", "please be calm", etc .

I thought it was what everyone does... isn't it?

sometimes! peoples thought streams are all different. many people think in first person, some in second or even third; usually ppl use different perspectives at different times. lots of thoughts aren't words at all, just a flow of feelings and concepts. personally I often talk to myself in second person. I also sometimes use 'we', referring to myself as speaker and listener. how and why this kind of thing happens, and how common it is, is probably beyond my expertise. but i promise you are not weird for it lol

#it brings up some interesting questions about how we conceive of the self in different scenarios #maybe sometimes its easier to use 'you' because conceiving of oneself as a different entity makes it easier to put things in perspective #or give orders or make observations yanno. we often give other people's thoughts more credence than our own so its a pretty neat trick to #pull on yourself i would say #same/similar thing with 'we' #i use it cause it makes me feel less lonely which is depressing i know #but also we give the thoughts of collectives/groups more weight than those of one person so its also useful for making judgements #internal monologues are so so interesting #i could talk about the way i think for a very long time which is lowkey narcissistic but i havent exactly been in anyone elses head so #some people dont have a discrete internal monologue; its like just a flow of concepts and impulse #sometimes thoughts can be chains of interconnected memories images and sensations esp for neurodivergent ppl #for me my clearest thoughts/emotions are tactile/proprioceptive impressions of shape and movement that i then have to pick up and examine t #understand what they mean exactly #like ohhh this thing made me feel *hands smoothing on the underside of a round smooth cold stone structure with weird amounts of affection #and the tensing that indicates they are getting ready to lift* #like what does THAT mean #anyway that was a very long tangent #you are normal. everyone is different. brains are cool. end of story #autism squeaks

[naggingatlas]

you dont think its possible to feel like youre having a heart attack from a deltarune animation set to living fucking tombstone wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

#^ read wrong the way wayne says years inside the ring years inside the ring in the sweepstakes #the hyperlink one. its the hyperlink one the other one sucks gallons of ass in comparison im so sorry to the creator im typing w my nerve #endings #like i saw it and was like oh cute its that song i liked a couple years ago yea it fits him ^u^ cool outro BUT #THEY DIDNT INCLUDE THE PART THAT JUST. COMPLETELY RIPS YOU TO SHREDS DUDE LIKE IM SWEATING THINKING ABOUT #IF I FALL I THINK ILL FLY. TOUCH ME. MIDAS. MAKE ME PART OF YOUR DESIGN. NONE TO. GUIDE US. I FEEL FEAR FOR THE VERY LAST TIME *AND* #ITS THE FUCKING SNEO BATTLE. LIKE THATS ONE OF THE MOST IMPACTFUL PIECES OF DELTARUNE FANART THATRE POSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE. #AND THE SOUND DESIGN AND INTERPRETATION OF SNEO'S ATTACKS INTO A MORE PHYSICAL PALPABLE SETTING ITS total schizo mode activation #i saw it when i woke up today (4hoursago) and having gotten to the sneo fight just before bed yesterday it made my whole body tense up and #i just had to go try beat him again. and i did w sound off listening to ordinary life. and i added 3 more stages to my average score #did not fucking beat him obv both the secret bosses are insanely difficult for a mediocre bullethell player but. #really boosted my confidence. i gave jevil off to danny for him to beat. i want to beat spam myself. i need to #honestly dont get people who dislike spam unless theyre only familiar w like. the fanon interpretation or whatever its absolute garbage #a lot of the time but in game. hes just the funniest most peculiar fucking character as everyone in deltarune is. yea hes overhyped but #for a reason baby. hes well written in the parts that we dont see and well executed in the parts we encounter. everything surrounding him #is just so beautifully purposefully out of place and uneasy and psychotic its beautiful. how the fuck can u say he's boring. how. #i adore toby's decision to make this chapter's secret boss much more prominent than jevil i hope they get some interaction as effed up #roomies of kris's pocket lint. not in a shippy way tho thatd be hilarious but just. oh ure kinda like me huh. mb we could be friends #and then they turn into a cartoon fight cloud and u randomly hear their screams when checkin the inventory #but seriously making them at least amicable towards each other would carry a lot of meaning & strengthen the #'if freedom is being completely cut off from society and more importantly your friends for the rest of ur life is it really worth it #for just a glimpse of heaven of ultimate knowledge or maybe peace' narrative of jevil and spam #honestly i think the fact that u probably have to seek out the secret bosses to get the best true ending and that theyre so so #much harder than anything else in their chapters and that theyre all connected to gaster and it makes me think #they carry much of the burden of deltarune's subtext's meaning i mean the subtext carries onto the text onto the main gang's #realtionships uhmmmmmm idk i have to work ill prolly. make a post about this when im finished w everything. and a comic about the sbs.

[sovamurka]

Not me suddenly creating an AU in my head about Altan and Lera being broken puppets in a magical shop owned by a wizard named... Sergey, of course. They try to repair each other in secret and find surprising comfort in one another. 

#basically a slightly angsty hurt/comfort AU with a happy ending #I could even say that it is more hurt/comfort deep friendship than it is romance #(and I definitely don't have a fic wip in my drafts nooooo how dare you think of that) #I have a lot of ideas about it actually #Altan has a broken eye mechanism and Lera's strings that hold her body together got old and loose so she almost mopes around the shop #Sergey tries to get over his break-up with Oleg by starting an unusual friendship with Igor with whom he plays chess (:D) on weekends #(don't worry Oleg is just on a journey of his own) #Sergey also has a fucked up Pygmalion and Galatea complex with Lera which is... honestly one of the aspects I love writing about? #customers in this AU are also a bliss to encounter #newlywed wizards Balor and Yana definitely go to this shop and Balor definitely has a tense relationship with Sergey #they usually come for some cursed illegal stuff which is fiiiiiine #the Realmwalkers trio also comes in here and usually it's Ksenia (I won't elaborate now but the main thing Sergey sells her is information) #Toma is one of the customers Sergey gets annoyed about but she's actually one of the few people who sees puppets as people #Koroleva scares the shit out of Seryozha which is the reason he sells her everything with a lower price #he's surprisingly polite to Angelina and the Nightingale #(yeah. remember about the Pygmalion and Galatea complex? the answer lies there) #Anton and Rita almost burn the shop to the ground but Sergey befriends them because they're pyromaniacs just like him :D #Yuma is a rare customer but a welcome one. this has things to do with the plot but it's too long to explain. #you should just know that she somehow gets everything for free #so yeah. that's my small au for zlatomaki I guess??? #plague doctor

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

#anxiety #long post #i have been an adult for the better part of a decade and it has gotten SO much easier as i internalized these #swearing tw

[leadmeastraylittlefairy]

april 😵‍💫

#two of my coworkers quit last week but apparently another one was fired on friday after getting into an argument w one of the people who #quit after she was told on wednesday that she wasn’t in trouble and just needed to tone it down a little bc she’s sassy #then we had a team meeting in which our boss’s boss was supposed to come talk to us about some shit and we waited for her for half an hour #before she told us she wasn’t coming….wasting half an hour on THE busiest day of the year #she’s such a dick #then we had supervision which is basically group therapy and everyone was freaking tf out about how shitty our workplace is #🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 #when i left today i wasn’t even at my emails from noon today 🙃🙃🙃 #and we can’t get time and a half overtime pay this week bc yesterday was a holiday :)))))))))))) #i hate this place #i wfh tomorrow but i might have to go in bc it’s so fucking busy and i work off my laptop at home but i have two monitors at work #AND i called a client today to do a favor for a coworker and the client was being weird on the phone and abruptly was like i have to go now #so i was like okay ill let you go and she was like because im on the potty :) #um #maybe don’t pick up the phone when a social work calls you if you’re on the toilet :) #and then she told me she loved me when i hung up :) #why :) #my shoulders are so tense #pleeeeeeeease 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 let this place fall apart