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heart-of-the-morningstar · 4 months

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Alr hear me out, the service top lucifer with a very insecure reading. (Fem or GN) like he has to coax the reader to like open up (God damn I'm blushing thinking abt it-). Maybe even having to like talk them into even taking thier clothes off. Just a little idea stuck in my head.

Thank you very muchly.

Ooooooohh you’re giving me IDEAS (tbh I’d be the same boat)

~~~~

✨Opening Up✨

Lucifer x f!reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, nipple play, pet names, oral (m & f receiving), p in v, service top!Lucifer

It has become evident that I am unable to write anything concise 😅

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I MEANT TO POST THIS DAYS AGO 😭😭

Tag list: @trashbin-nie

@yellowsubiesdance

@j-jinxee

@stevensdickrider

@airwolf92

@mrssabinecallas

@myhornybrainonlyknowsthis

@bee-sinner

@thesoccerenthusiast

@katshyperfixations

@logybearsblog

@bigfatbimbo

You sat upright on Lucifer’s king sized bed, the King of Hell straddling your lap. You don't know how you even ended up in this position, not on this bed necessarily, but how you ended up as Lucifer's beloved. You believed in your heart that you did not deserve him, but time and time again Lucifer has showered you with praise and adoration like no one ever had before. He was perfect. And you were...you. It didn't make sense.

Regardless, that didn't stop him from holding your face tenderly in his hands while he kissed you with a fiery passion. You were self conscious about being so vocal around him during intimacy, but he made it his mission to elicit as many moans and whines from you as possible. Slowly, he reached down to the hem of your sleep shirt, grabbing a fistful of fabric. Your eyes popped open, your mind racing. You pulled away from his lips and went to grab his wrist that held your clothing.

"I-I'm sorry, love," he apologized, releasing your shirt immediately. You sighed and let go of the grip you had on his hand. "I didn't mean to scare you, I should have asked. Please forgive me."

"No, no," you breathed, "it's alright. I'm not upset, I just panicked. I'm sorry."

Lucifer pressed his lips to your forehead and planted a small kiss. "Please don't ever think you need to apologize to me for how you feel, sweetheart."

"O-Ok," you stuttered.

"Do you want to stop?," Lucifer asked. You could hear the genuine concern in his voice. Hard as it was to believe, he cared about you more than anything.

You shook your head. "No."

"You're sure?," Lucifer questioned further, "because if you're uncomfortable, we can-"

You cut him of mid-sentence with a quick peck to his lips. He smiled bashfully, a cute blush spreading across his face. "Believe me, Luci, I want this. I mean I really want this, but..." you found it difficult to articulate what you wanted to say.

"Well, if that's the case darling, what if I go first then?," Lucifer proposed. You cocked your head, unsure of what he was talking about. He reached up and began to unbutton his shirt, starting from the top and working his way down. Oh...OH.

Your face instantly feels hotter and your breathing becomes staggered. You tried to say something, but the words caught in your throat. Your mouth had never felt drier. He finally reached the last button of his shirt and you finally see some of his chest. You could almost feel your brain short circuiting.

"Do you wanna do the honors, my dear?," he asked playfully. You gulped as your hands reached towards his shoulders. Gingerly, you slid his sleeves down each arm, slowly revealing more and more skin to you. Once his shirt was completely removed, you couldn’t help but stare. His chest was so smooth and toned, almost like it had been sculpted. “Like what you see?” Lucifer questioned coyly, noticing your unwavering expression of awe.

"W-Well that's hardly fair," you whispered, finally finding your voice, "you're an actual angel. Of course you're going to be gorgeous, I-" you slapped your hand over your mouth once you realized what you had said. "Please pretend you didn't hear that!," you begged through your hand.

Lucifer's face was flushed pink, he could help but smile. He chuckled as he went to remove your hand from your face. "Is that what you really think about me, sweetheart? I'm truly flattered to hear that coming from someone as exquisite as you."

"You...You really think..." you started to say but couldn't finish. Tears began to well up in your eyes, you tried to rub them away before Lucifer could see but it was too late. Lucifer cupped your face and ran his thumbs under your eyes to clear away the tears that had fallen. Your breath hitched, you tried to take in deep heavy breaths so you wouldn't start sobbing.

“Hey, hey, hey, shhhhh,” he spoke with a soothing tone. He removed himself from your lap and sat down next to you, embracing you in his arms. “It’s okay, angel, it’s ok. I upset you and I’m sorry, I never want to be the reason you cry.” He rested his head on top of yours while you clung to his chest. The scent of him hit your nostrils, it was like breathing in a warm spring day. Purely intoxicating. It calmed you down, you started to breathe normally again. You felt safe in his arms, you could have stayed there for the rest of your life.

You wrapped your arms around his torso, your tears finally drying. “Thank you, Lucifer,” you murmured. He gave you a tight squeeze before you lifted yourself back up, sitting at his hip and leaving your head on his shoulder. “You weren’t the reason I was sad, you know? You never have been.”

Lucifer turned his head to you, “Really? Then why-?”

“Because I’m afraid,” you quickly responded. “I’m afraid that I’m not good enough for you. That I never will be. You’re the all mighty Lucifer, King of Hell. You have so much strength and power and respect. And I’m…I’m just me.” You sighed and pulled your legs up to your chest to rest your head on your knees. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Darling?,” Lucifer spoke at last. He brought himself in front of you on all fours and placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him in his scarlet eyes. “ “Just you” is perfect. You don’t need to be anything but yourself! I understand what you’re feeling, and it’s okay to express that. But please know that I love you just the way you are. You are my true strength.”

You chuckled softly, leaning into his hand that was now pressed against your cheek. You took his words to heart; he loved you. He loved you so much. You had to show him that you felt the same way. You drew in a few quick and deep breaths before reaching for the hem of your sleep shirt.

“Wait, wait, what are you-” Lucifer tried to say, but you were too fast. Your shirt disappeared from your body and was tossed across the room. Silence filled the space, the only thing you could hear was your heart threatening to burst through your chest.

It was at that moment you noticed you couldn’t see Lucifer’s face. His hands had flown up to block his view of you.

“Lucifer?” you called to him.

“Y-You didn’t have to do that, love,” he stuttered. “I never wanted you to feel that you had to-”

“Please look at me, Luci,” you pleaded. “I love you. And I trust you. Let me show you. Please.”

You saw Lucifer’s hands slowly fall away from his hands, his eyes still screwed shut. “Are you sure?” he asked softly.

You leaned in to plant a kiss on his soft lip. Lucifer’s eyes shot open in surprise, you pulled away before he had a chance to react. Blood rushed to your cheeks when you saw him staring at you. Your first instinct was to cover yourself and shy away, but you pushed those feelings deep down. You were going to be vulnerable, you needed to be brave. Not just for him, but for yourself. You gripped the bed sheets so hard that you felt your nails digging into your skin through the silk.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lucifer had snapped out of his trance. He started to crawl towards you on his hands and knees, only stopping when his lips were inches away from your own. You felt his hot breath on you, you were finding it more and more difficult to keep your composure.

“You…are breathtaking,” he cooed, crashing his lips into yours hungrily. His tongue begged for entrance to your mouth, and you happily allowed it. You felt yourself slowly drifting down onto your back as you and Lucifer desperately devoured each other. He pulled away from your lips, trying to catch his breath, but you noticed he wasn’t looking into your eyes. His attention had drifted a little further down. He swallowed hard.

“May I?,” Lucifer asked breathlessly. Your face felt extremely hot and you couldn’t find the power to speak, so instead you nodded your head vigorously. He gave you a cheeky grin before lowering his mouth down onto one of your nipples. The noise you made sounded more high pitched than you meant it, but God, did it feel amazing! His tongue worked one nipple as his hand played with the other. You loved the sensation of him sucking and licking at your sensitive skin, the tiny bites from his teeth driving you insane. He rolled your other nipple between his two fingers, the pinches he gave sent your brain into overdrive. You never knew how sensitive you were, but Lucifer was more than happy to service you.

All of a sudden you noticed a different sensation, you felt something press against your inner thigh, dangerously close to your clothed pussy. It took your brain a few seconds to realize what was happening.

“Uhh, Lucifer, a-are you…”, you mumbled. Lucifer looked up from your chest with a puzzled face. “I can feel umm, I-I can feel your uhh…”, you didn’t know why you couldn’t say it. Maybe you were too embarrassed, which seemed silly considering what position you found yourself in. You pointed down towards your pants where Lucifer was wedged.

“Oh…OH,” Lucifer exclaimed pushing himself from you and onto his knees. “Oh my gosh, I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you could uhh, feel that…please forgive me!”

Seeing him so flustered somehow calmed some of the nerves you had before. It was cute, really. Demon overlord Lucifer getting embarrassed about unintentionally pushing his hard on against your thigh. You let out a small giggle.

"It's alright, Luci," you chuckled. "I'm flattered, really!"

Lucifer smiled, placing his hand behind him to rub the back of his neck. "I'm still sorry about that, love. I'm a little embarrassed."

“Well,” you breathed, “I guess it’s only fair that I embarrass myself too then, right?” Without warning, you grabbed the waistband of your pants and ripped them off along with your panties in one fell swoop. You laid naked in front of Lucifer, whose whole face had turned a shade of red you’ve never seen before.

“Ffffuck,” was all Lucifer could muster. You watched his Adam’s apple rise and fall, attempting to regain his thoughts. Looking at you, it was plain to see how soaked you were.

“Like what you see?,” you teased. Lucifer nodded his head eagerly, still at a loss for words. You lifted your hand and curled your finger, beckoning him to you. Obediently, Lucifer crawled on the bed towards you with no reservations. “You’re not the only one that’s worked up here. Now we’re even.”

“My love, please…” Lucifer whined, “please let me taste you.”

"Don't you...wanna get more comfortable first?," you asked him, knowing the problem in his pants had probably only gotten worse for him.

"Not until I've had my fill of you, sweetheart," he smiled before forcing his head between your legs. The moan you let out was guttural, almost feral, he lapped your folds like a starving man. He took long, drawn out licks up your slit before focusing on your clit. His lips kissed and sucked on your sensitive nub, sending waves of pleasure throughout you entire body. You couldn't pull away if you tried, he had wrapped his arms under your legs so you couldn't escape his assault on your cunt.

"Sh-shit, oh-oh my God Lucifer, FUCK," you moaned. You could feel a smile form on his face as this seemed to have made him pick up the pace. You screamed from his tongue darting in and out of you, feeling so close to snapping. Your thighs started to fold in on his head and you grabbed a fistful of his hair trying to regain some assemblance of control. “Fuckfuckfuck, mmmm…gonna c-cum, aaggghh, gonnacumgonnacum!” Lucifer’s tongue relentlessly circling your clit finally caused your body to spasm, your orgasm causing you to scream out in pleasure. Lucifer didn’t stop though, he let you ride out your orgasm and hungrily devoured your release. Once you finally came down from your high, Lucifer lifted his face from between your legs and flashed you a toothy grin, seemingly quite proud of his work.

“You alright, darling?,” he asked innocently, almost pretending like he wasn’t the cause of what you had just experienced.

“Y-yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” you breathed. “Just…Jesus, that was intense! Give me a little warning before you go all in on me like that again!”

Lucifer laughed. “I’m sorry, love, I couldn’t help myself.”

You rolled your eyes at him playfully. “Oh, I’m sure you couldn’t. Now, let’s get these off you, hmm?,” you said tugging at his pants.

Lucifer stood up from the bed quickly. He undid his belt and let his pants drop to the floor. From the outlines of his briefs, you were surprised that they could contain him at all. Before he could pull at the hem, you jumped off the bed to stop him.

“Allow me,” you offered, getting on your knees in front of him. You reached up and grabbed onto his briefs, snaking them down his legs. His cock sprang free of its cage and hung in front of your face, its tip already leaking. Without thinking, your wrapped your lips around the head of his cock. Lucifer let out a moan that you’ve never heard before, filled with absolute lust and need. You took one of your hands and grabbed the base of his shaft, slowly stroking up and down while your mouth continued to work on his head. You ran small licks against the slit, tasting and lapping all of the precum that was forming. You loved the taste of him.

“Love…f-fuck,” Lucifer panted, trying to fight through his moans, “if you don’t s-stop now, I-I’m gonna cum. I wanna…wanna feel you. P-Please…”

Reluctantly, you pulled your mouth away from his cock with a *pop*, pouting slightly. Lucifer leaned down to grab your torso and tossed you onto the bed like you were made of paper mache. That angelic strength of his always caught you off guard. Lucifer crept between your legs, planting a tender kiss on your lips.

“I promise,” he whispered against your lips, “next time you can finish what you started, but right now I need you. Need to feel you.” Lucifer brought his fingers to your needy cunt, feeling the slickness of your folds. Your breath caught in your throat at the sensation. He took his other hand and lined up the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Are you ready, my angel?,” he asked softly.

You grinned and nodded your head. With that, Lucifer closed the space between you once more with a fiery kiss as his cock entered you inch by inch. Your cries mixed with his as he finally entered you completely.

“You feel…amazing, darling, fuck…” Lucifer choked out. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you murmured, “I-I’m okay. You can move.”

“Anything for you,” he smiled. Lucifer slowly began to rock his hips into you, his cock filling you up completely with each thrust. You could feel every inch of him ruining your pussy, hitting just the right spot every time. It didn’t take long for his pace to become erratic and uneven. He buried his cock deep inside you, both of your moans filling the room.

“Lu-Lucifer, o-oh shit, Lucifer, I-I’m so close,” you pleaded. “Please don’t stop, p-please don’t.”

“Cum for me, darling. Wanna feel you cum.” Lucifer groaned. He bit down on your should as he continued to pound into you, biting and sucking your tender skin. You were shaking, he was going too fast, you were coming undone.

“Cuminme…FUCKCUMINME,” you screamed and wrapped your legs around him as your orgasm flooded over you. You felt your walls pulsating around his cock, it was too much for Lucifer to handle. You heard him cry out and felt him twitch inside you, filling you up with his hot cum.

Coming down from your highs, you both laid there for a moment trying to catch your breath. You played with Lucifer’s hair as he laid across your chest, completely worn out. A minute or two passed before Lucifer sat up and pulled himself out of you. He laid down next to you, staring at your flushed face.

“Are you alright?,” he asked. “Did I hurt you at all?”

“No, you didn’t hurt me,” you smiled. “That felt…really good. Thank you, for everything.”

Lucifer hummed and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “No, thank you, love.”

You chuckled returning the kiss. “Would…you mind if I held you, Luci?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened, but he smiled wide. “Of course not, I’d love nothing more.”

Lucifer rolled on his side, giving you the chance to push your body against his back and wrap your arms around him. You both didn’t move until the morning.

~~~~

Hope you enjoyed my second attempt at NSFW content lmaooooo

AND YEAH I MADE HIM THE LITTLE SPOON, IT’S WHAT HE WOULD WANT

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer morningstar #lucifer smut #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #writing prompt #my writing #this was meant to be a cute short thing but i can never stop myself lmao #my signature is just posting goofy faces of Lucifer to remind everyone this is who we’re thirsting over

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swordfright · 9 months

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do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:

inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!

saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.

the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.

everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!

21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!

scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.

all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!

you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.

accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.

i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!

i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.

Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.

Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!

#like i said most are gen but like gen: suggestive edition if you catch my drift #i hope thats ok to say dfghnjmkjhg #if anyone wants to be untagged from this post and/or have their work removed just dm me and i'll make it happen!#c!sam #c!awesamdream #c!dream #awesamdude #dreblr #fic rec #asks #i don't have time to check these links before going back to work but hopefully they all lead where they're supposed to #if not lmk

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mosaickiwi · 7 months

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Meowdy~

I'm Momo/Mosa c: either one

I like to write!!! Except it's just for 14DWY 99.999999% of the time sorry. I do write other things and make OCs/VNs for myself that I'll maybe post publicly one day in the future.

if u wanna support me here's a kofi link :3c

anyways ur here for some silly fics??? have a list ⬇⬇⬇

14 Days With You

Little "Love" Notes

14DWY as a Drama (AU)

Fall Unto Me (Demon!Ren AU) part one, part two, part three, part four

Everything and Anything (pls read cw tags)

Soft - Light

Hide and Seek

Illusion of Choice

"Bad" Gift Giver Angel (head canon list)

Nails, TV, Moving

Sick Nasty

Someone in Between, Something Intertwined

Masterlist of NSFW [REDACTED] fics and blurbs

These aren't posted publicly at the moment, so it's a WIP

REQUESTS: CLOSED!!

Feel free to send regular silly asks though. And if you want to get pinged when they're OPEN, ask or comment!!

Request Guidelines

~PLEASE READ~

While I currently don’t write smut for requests, 14 Days With You is intended for an 18+ audience, so please keep that in mind and have your age visible in your bio! If you prefer to be anon remember to send another letting me know it's you from your main account! <3

ALL REQUESTS ARE FOR 14DWY [REDACTED] AT THE MOMENT (i might do things for other games in the future but not for requests!!)

Please be clear and concise about what you want. A few sentences works great, but if you do want to paint a bigger picture, 70 words at most! <- This applies to the request itself not the entire message! Feel free to get silly in my asks otherwise.

Please don't direct me/give me a script! Gentle reminder that I am not a bot.

Additionally, since some requests might be similar in content I may combine or do only one of them if I receive them in the same batch.

With that said, please don’t rush me! I have other things I’m working on + irl c:

All fics are a gender neutral reader unless otherwise specified in the request through certain topics.

If any of these are unclear, ASK so I can clarify <3

Requests CAN be:

SFW, fluff, angst, comfort, implied/mentions of smut i.e. aftercare, roleplay before the action, ~vaguely~ alluding to school/college/etc., AUs as long as they aren’t someone else’s (unless the creator has stated to be okay with it)

Requests CANNOT be:

smut/explicit NSFW, cheating, self harm, gore, death, student life stuff (studying or something similar is fine just pls spare me from having to think about college/campus bullshit 😭)

Request List (please check to avoid repeats!)

Anxious, Clingy, Nervous Angel

Lazy Cuddle Day

Low Motivation Angel

Super Obsessed Angel

A Little Free Time

Touch Averse Angel

Wedding Day

Literal Domestic Fluff (Fox Ren)

A Sick Angel

A Riding Lesson

Your Actual First Kiss

#pinned post hehe #momo writing #<- my regular writing tag #momo reqs #<- my requested writing tag #momo art #<- MY ART TAG??? i mean i don't mention it in this post but it's 14dwy relevant #yes i am an artist for roughly 2% of the year lmfao

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who-is-this-weirdo · 2 months

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since I’m going to be posting my ocs here, I have a question about what’s the best way to present an oc here. Like what should I put, how should I format it and that kind of stuff. any advice would help a lot

I am not sure, outside of tagging with both #"insertfandom" and #"insertfandom oc" #art and all that jazz a oc presentation can be anything

@bogcreacher (sorry for the tag)'s oc presentations are a good exemple of simple Oc presentation that intrigues you but you could also put an image with text under explaining some things about your oc, I would try to keep it short and concise but I also know that Ocs are dear to anyone's heart, so you can put as much info as you want as long as you segment the text (to avoid making a wall of text like I am doing here)

You can also do it in character if you wants, that's pretty funny tho you should probably say whenever or not you acept roleplay in reblogs or asks, I would tag this with #unreality or #incharacter or #roleplay just to be sure

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falling-drops-of-ichor · 2 months

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After a lot of recent encounters with people saying one of a number of actively harmful things, I feel like it's about time I sit down and chat. I am doing this through the exacerbated brainfog of a fever so this post may be edited for clarity or to make it more concise in the future.

"Source is everything that exists, and there is nothing to command or have power over - you can only have power WITH as everything plays out how it's wanted. The creator expressed itself through it's creations." [This person also tried to convince me that I wanted to be disabled when I incarnated: "You actually have it exactly how you want it."]

As a mostly hard polytheist (I believe some deities may share faces but ultimately believe each deity is an independent entity) the notion of a singular self-expressing source is completely out of line with my beliefs and experiences. You look at the number of ways someone can exist, whether that's method of incarnation or energetic typing or soul species (dragon/demon/etc), and that alone is why I refute a universal source. This person also believes in densities of consciousness, and the fact he couldn't even properly answer my questions about the variation in sentience and sapience in non-human animals even on earth speaks for me on how stupid that idea is. Especially by pinning angels up at the 13th density, while the highest example he gave for anything else was 6th. The whole thing just reeks of new age bullshit and probably could come across ableist if he was slightly less spiritual in his examples.

A different person tried to say the good humans are half alien and half Neanderthal. No real indication of what the others were but I can bet this was ancient astronaut theory in a fresh paint of coat given he was saying the Sumerian pantheon is an alien group, so that was just plain antisemitism. I am an admittedly uneducated gentile, but I hope to keep learning and make an effort to not just seem to hate Nazis (which I do) but to be able to be someone Jews can feel safe around.

Brief note here for the variety bag of other gentiles claiming Lilith has been their guardian since they were a child, etc etc, and how fucking stupid they sound. I've had one admit to me that Jews hate them for it, and he got pretty weird about me agreeing that he's being awful for legitimately believing Lilith is his guardian. (He also thought she is married to Lucifer Morningstar... I don't know enough to comment there but that doesn't sound right.)

This one I haven't personally seen in a while due to carefully curating my communities and Tumblr feed, but a recent discussion on the problem reminding me it's worth adding to this post while it's already long: a belief seeming to surge in popularity into the mainstream that deities don't get angry, can't be offended if you work with them, and won't be harmful intentionally OR on accident. I'm sorry, that's an entire deity, they are substantially threaded into reality itselves. They are huge, and they in my and friends' experiences typically put a nice face on a bit of themselves to talk to you. When my matron, She Who Reads Eulogies, first allowed me to more properly perceive her I almost thought I'd been being duped and just about banished her due to the sheer shock of the intensity and complexity of her presence alone. Hades called me his child and then left without a trace when I was like 16, and I've never so much as felt him since. And that hurt me! That hurt a lot! To have technically both of my fathers abandon me and become cold or abusive was traumatizing! I also have heard stories of deities manipulating people if not outright attacking them. And certain deities won't want to be associated - insisting on working with both of two deities at odds with each other may not end well for you or them. And, predominantly, if you're disrespectful while reaching out I wouldn't expect any beneficial attention in return. Deities are not big people in the sky you can turn into your uwu magic friends that protect you. They can protect you because of the way in which they are powerful enough to do so, and even then - I've seen deities have to turn back due to lines in politics amongst them that they won't cross. Respect what they do for you, and respect their no's... and respect them as beings. I've made awkward offerings and later found out I did it wrong, but I was respectful and acknowledged I might be fumbling so they paid attention regardless.

This is already probably four posts in one, so I'm going to leave this here and if anything else seems worth saying I'll srb or make a new post.

#dripping droplets #long post

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blueboyluca · 11 months

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(Just found your blog, you have some great posts about everything dog, definitely going through stuff!) I'm in a similar boat with a Third Dog potential, and needing neighbour approval, do you have any tips on making a lil proposal document? Did taking cookies help? I don't really know my neighbours, so I want to make the best impression possible >v< Thanks so much <3

Hello! Just noting that I don't have third dog yet, which means I don't have 100% approval yet as the dog needs to actually be here for that, but I don't expect anything to go awry now.

This got long, sorry. But hopefully it's helpful as it outlines everything I did.

To start with, I am friendly with my neighbours. When I first moved in I introduced myself to 6 of the other units as they were home at the time. Since then, I am cordial and wave when we pass by, and sometimes I chat to three of them if we are outside at the same time. The others keep to themselves, which is fine with me. Other relevant information is that I've never had any complaints about my current dogs and five other units have or have had dogs or cats (never more than two).

For my proposal letter, I kind of treated it like a job proposal and a cover letter. I put my personal details at the top. I titled it "Proposal for third dog at Unit X" and I added the date. I broke the document into sections with headings – Background, Council approval, Appropriate care, Impact and Conclusion.

In Background I talked about my history at the property, information about my current dogs and information about the proposed dog. I purposely downplayed some of the details, e.g. highlighted the dog would be under 10kg fully grown, called it a "papillon mix" instead of a "border collie mix" and focused heavily on the sporting dog angle. I also talked about my dog credentials, leaning on my current role as president of a dog club. If you don't have something like that to mention, I'd just focus on your commitment to training, accomplishments of your current dogs and a clear and concise explanation of why you want to add another dog, focusing on the positives and absolutely not adding anything that could be taken poorly.

In my area you need to register dogs to legally be allowed to keep them and a third dog requires a special registration. In Council approval, I briefly talked about how I would seek some kind of pre-approval registration and I also got to mention that I personally made five animal education videos for the council (I'm a professional video editor). For someone who doesn't conveniently have that on their resume, I would just talk briefly about the process you intend to undertake if registration or similar is required in your area.

In Appropriate care, I talked about how I'm a responsible dog owner, i.e. my dogs are registered, microchipped and up to date on vaccinations. I pointed out how often my neighbours ought to see me exercising my dogs, how I attend a dog club, that I utilise local parks (as my yard is small) and maintain an exercise schedule. I also have the benefit of a partner that stays home during the day. Basically this section is just to talk about how I'm good at owning dogs.

For Impact, I stated that I didn't think a third dog would make a major impact on the property due to the aforementioned appropriate care, and that my workplace is dog friendly and my yard is secure. This is where you could say something similar about what you intend to do to limit the impact on neighbours.

The Conclusion was just basically me reiterating that I'm a great dog owner, saying thanks for considering this, and please contact me if you wish to discuss further.

Then I printed out copies and put them in envelopes and bought a couple bags of cookies which I divided up into little party bags. Then I worked up my courage and knocked on their doors to chat. I started by apologising for interrupting, then briefly explained the situation (I want a third dog, this is why), gave them the letter (explaining it had more detail), handed over the cookies and thanked them for listening. My goal was to kind of get it all out before they could really say anything and then leave. This generally worked as most of them just took the letter and the cookies and said thanks. A couple of them said right away they didn't mind at all. One expressed doubts about barking. I asked if he had issues with my current dogs and he said no, so I just thanked him for his time and left it there.

A couple days later I went back to find out what they had decided (the ones who hadn't already told me) and they were all yes votes. I didn't approach one of the units because they're renting and I was socially exhausted by then and was happy with the majority I had.

I hope this helps! It can be really intimidating to do social things like talking to people about something you really want, but I like to rip the bandaid off and I wanted to know if it was going to happen or not so I just forced myself to do it and then it was over and now I get what I want!

#third dog #dogblr #I asked my parents' advice on this #and their advice was bad #they told me to not do cookies #but the cookies actually softened quite a few people #my mum also told me to add certain things or not include other things in the document #and I was just like... no I'm happy with what I've written #I did a few versions though #like the earlier ones mentioned things that could be taken negatively #or mentioned how I had no complaints #I took all of that out #I figured they already knew that and they didn't need to be reminded about the possibility of barking dogs in future #basically I framed everything positively and left out anything that could be taken badly #like a job application

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sir-yeehaw-paws · 1 year

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I’m confused about something and you’re an mgsv expert so I’m asking you. when did kaz actually lose his limbs bc I always assumed it was during the torture by the soviets? I saw people saying that he lost them during the skulls attack in afghanistan and some were saying he lost them during the heli crash? (one might say he wouldn’t have trained the afghan fightwrs with two missing limbs but then again he did train solid snake or maybe he just gave verbal instructions) I at first didn’t like the heli theory but he did talk about the msf attack to venom while touching his sleeve so maybe it’s true? also sorry if it is a dumb question, I’ve only actively listened to half of the tapes so maybe I missed something

Hello Anon!

‘Expert’ feels exceptionally generous but thank you! It’s something I don’t think has ever been given a super clear answer here, but I will say I don’t believe he lost them in the crash. My guess is either The Skulls or torture, but I lean slightly more towards the possibility of The Skulls.

I’ll admit freely the reasoning I’m going to give for not believing it to be from the crash is open to debate but here’s an image from some of the MGSV Official Art:

The bio information of particular interest is this:

“Black Ops Field Work”. It is not impossible for someone to be in the field in Kaz’s condition but it would be exceptionally difficult. While you make a good point to Kaz instructing Snake in the mid to late 90s, I’ll point out acting as an instructor is different from being in the field. It’s not unheard of for military and military adjacent soldiers and officers to move to instructor, teacher, or desk job when the field is no longer an option, but they’re not bad off enough for an honorable discharge or early retirement. (I am not entirely certain how accurate this is these days however).

Moving further, I note that general reactions (from Kaz himself and others) point to a more recent incident. If he had been injured that severely, I don’t think it would hmm..feel as immediately ‘raw’ to him.

Also, note this information from the secret Zero and Kaz tape:

Zero: “You weren’t in hospital long, I had trouble finding you.”

If Kaz had been missing two limbs as early as this scene here (post crash video) I think he would’ve been in the hospital much longer than “Not long.”

Noting the touch of the sleeve when he is describing the MSF attack, I think he may possibly be associating it all as loss in general, or even because the arm is what Venom himself lost, but I will leave it open as something I currently lack the ability to answer this one clearly.

If the Skulls did it, this would align to how Kaz originally described the attack in the tapes, especially for his note of “their arms and legs rained down around us.”

There’s also the probability that, if they were attacked by them, they wield metallic archaea swords. Which we know is hot enough to eviscerate anything in its path. Could this also cauterize a wound? Not cleanly, not medically or efficiently. But could they in a horrifically messy, largely fatal way? Maybe.

Finally, as for it being The Soviet’s, this is possible for a few reasons. I’d ask you to refer to the post here about the capture possibly being pre determined by Kaz and Ocelot but for a more concise answer, ‘limb removal’ as a torture technique is not unheard of. However, it can go wrong fast.

If you’re familiar with gangrene, then you already know what I’m talking about. Torture amputations aren’t always going to end up that way, but it’s pretty hard to not get infected in this scenario. Especially if they’re wanting to keep Kaz alive for a certain point. If I had a better idea of the way his body was cut, I’d try a stronger theory, but from what we know I’ll consider The Skulls most likely, Soviet's also most likely and MSF attack I guess least likely? Ultimately we never got a clear response.

#mgsv #kazuhira miller #mgs #thoughts posts #nates headcanons #asks #answered asks #mobile posting #character posts: kazuhira miller

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ottiliere · 2 years

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Ok so, 2 things

1. Oh? System Dirks are coming in here to show their appreciation? Because ours also DEVOURS this AU. It is genuinely so relatable and cathartic. When people don't think sharing vent art is good, I point at this AU and how it shows the ugly side of recovery so perfectly.

2. I was idly scrolling through the JTHM tag as I do frequently and got such intense whiplash seeing your recent post about asks in it. Like. Complete opposite side of our dash radar. What is this I hear about a JTHM ask?? I am fascinated already I font care if it's related to Dirk or not I just genuinely would love to hear your thoughts on it.

1) pulling all the dirks who follow me in for a hug through the walls of my plastic isolation bubble. it really makes me so happy to hear this. I can't give an extended answer to this point because I spent so much time talking about the next one but I hope you feel the mind waves of love I am bombarding you with.

2) The ask I got was in fact about Dirk, but as I'm drafting it it is...drifting...very much...into being about JTHM. "hear my thoughts on it" … this would be nothing shorter than a dissertation. I think about JTHM very often. I don't think it's possible for me to be concise about this in any sense of the word.

JTHM, to me, is one of the formative experiences that made me who I am. It is one of my favorite pieces of fiction ever made, that I have ever engaged with, and I know for a fact I will struggle to find something that is told in such a captivating way from an author with such an open soul. I discovered fanart of it by chance on DeviantArt, and, being naturally drawn towards edgier themes, searched everywhere on the internet until I found it uploaded onto some woman's livejournal account. I was obsessed with JTHM for a very, very long time. I reread it periodically, once or twice a year, and I have been doing this since I was 12. It has heavily influecned the way I go about making art and telling stories and engaging with everything I watch or read or what have you.

Everything about this comic blew my mind as a child, artistically absolutely, thematically especially. The narrative style that is glib with occasional moments of morose clarity that never lasts too long... we will never see anything like the suicide scene in anything else ever written again, of that I'm sure. It is unique in its existence. once you read that it unlocks something in your brain and you just can't go back. Multiplied by a million if you read it at a formative age you weren't really supposed to be reading it. Like homestuck.

Nny... he is the base of the character trope I always return to in fiction, usually unconsciously. I didn't realize that what I was doing to dirk mirrored nny until some friends pointed it out... it is a fascinating phenomenon. He is the first of his kind I have ever encountered in anything, ever. Blatantly unwell, the focus of a story that isn't necessarily slotting him into an antagonistic role. Like, he's the protagonist who I guess is also the antagonist but he's also a human. He's this guy with severe mental illness who is lead around like a puppet on strings first by the society that torments him for existing and then by the creature living in his walls that steals his memory and cognitive ability and manipulates him into doing his bidding. I had never seen that before? Usually I am not one for "made mentally ill by inorganic sources" trope, but the fact that it's stated in the comic that he was already seriously unwell before he became a flusher... it's just sad. He is not a good person, but his life is inherently tragic and the outcome of a society that does not care for him, or people like him, at all. forgive me for the comparison, but he is like the joker 2019. I mean this in a way that I love joker 2019. if you didn't like joker, well. sorry. but it's true.

This ties in, obviously, with the way that Jhonen goes about fiction: he does whatever he wants, to an extent. I have recently very closely befriended some individuals and while pondering how we were meshing so well on the creative side of htings, it eventually came to light that the singlemost defining moment in our lives was how we all read JTHM at a very young age. And it is insane, stepping back and looking at all of our narrative and art styles and seeing that the similarities we've all evolved independently stemmed from JTHM, in addition to our view of what it's like to be an artist. we are but jhonen's warriors in a world that is currently characterized by a very homogenized mixture of “art”. I mean, just look at the current box office trend. look at the “genre” that is marvel movies. not that I don’t enjoy marvel movies, I DO like them, my loki phase was strong and hard, but objectively... these things are what they are: mass-produced consumables. there is a reason people got excited when it was announced that Cronenberg was making a new film (which was awesome btw); art is dying. milquetoast narratives, stories afraid to push boundaries and be "weird", authors not trusting the audience to pick up on their intended message so instead of leaving it just a little ambiguous, they must instead spoonfeed it to every reader... There is some equation of what it means to make art and how it equates with your moral standing; my stance has always aligned with dear Jhonen's.

in a way my view of the world is the direct inverse of nny's; I truly believe in the best of people, I love humanity, I love the world and I am fundamentally incapable of being outwardly cruel towards others. my natural setting is to logically empathize, to put myself in the shoes of other people and look at their life the way they're living it. there is nothing more important to me than showing unconditional positive regard towards others. I have not always been this way. I used to foster great amounts of animosity in my heart for the things that have been done to me. I used to be an abjectly miserable person, I used to be violently suicidal every day for years and years and years etc. now though... I don't know how to describe it. something alights upon you after vast quantities of self-reflection, detached from the scrying eyes of swathes of people, of strangers, fandom most relevantly but I do also mean society as a whole. at this point in my life there is nothing more important to me than being a nice person, and helping others in what ways I can. if that's through posting raw depictions of mental illness, I will happily do so. I didn't realize that people didn't KNOW they can do this, and it is heartwarming that I can touch people in such a way even parasocially. I have worked on myself, I love people and I love when people are weird and their true creative selves because that is what the world needs in this day and age. art is dying. If you let bitterness into your heart it will consume you. it will cloud your judgment and prevent you from making a true connection to the medium, it will block you from making what you REALLY want to make. It will poison how you interact with other humans on a fundamental level, if you are constantly walking into interactions suspecting the worst intentions.

it almost seems like critical thinking is a dying skill...or, at least, it is when it comes to interacting with art and not relying on other people to tell you what to think. but even still I still do not hold ire towards those who seek me harm for what I make. I do not answer many of the asks I get on purpose, the death threats, etc... because these people are hurting in a multitude of ways, and they have not yet learned how to cope with their own pain. You could call being an optimist a character flaw, maybe it is. I don't know. That is, for better or worse, the epitome of what I am: an unrelenting pollyanna who believes in the best of people and the potential they have to heal. The one anon hate I got about the AU months ago that I actually deigned with an answer; they eventually came off anon and admitted they were just frustrated they didn't know how to properly use tumblr's UI to filter me off their dashboard and displaced their emotions onto me. They apologized. Such is life. We are all humans inhabiting this great big earth and I love to love people. contrary to what I depict in my art, I am a very happy person. I love my friends and I'm currently in a very good life situation with occasional downfalls and eventual upturns. Jhonen, I know, as stated in the second interview image, was often like this as well. nny was a speakerphone for little observations about life and pessimism; he was a character, a means to tell a story.

so ya I guess those are some of my thoughts about JTHM. not all of them though. here’s some nny

#ask #lucy art #these asks really got me plugged into nny again... expect art soon probably #like besides whats here these are PRACTISE #the power of anonymous users on tumblr #jthm

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astrobei · 1 year

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This is kind of an odd question, but since you seem to have done it very successfully and I have no clue: How do you make friends online?

I always see people on here talking about their mutuals and about their online friends, and some of that’s def survivorship bias, but I’m guessing I’m not alone in having no clue how to get from recognizing someone’s username to having them be a person I would talk to about a bad day?

Anyway, this continues to be a weird ask so answer it any way you want and no worries if it takes a while, but yeah, with all the posts about you and haven meeting up I am just looking for advice on *how*

Ty so much!

hi hi hi hello!! i’ve actually gotten asks like this before and i’m so sorry 2 everyone who’s sent one bc i’m afraid i don’t have a super concise or helpful way to answer this,,, (but i’ll still try lol)

to be so so honest with you, i got super lucky because i was introduced to a lot of my friends in this fandom through group chats or mutuals’ discord servers that other people have added me to, which i know is kind of a lame answer because being added to gcs/others’ servers is not exactly something u can control … but you are so right in saying that you’re not alone in feeling like this !! i know so many people feel intimidated by the idea of making friends on here especially since there Are so many users i associate as groups and it seems like everyone has Those Friends (me included, i’ll admit) and it’s probably easier said than done because i did get lucky enough to meet a lot of my now-close friends rn through ao3/comments/writers’ gcs way back in the summer or fall 😗 it also definitely takes time to get close to someone in this way, and these friendships are not something that happened overnight, even for me !! i feel like it’s easy to get stressed out by the potential of every new mutual/friend you make being The Friend and that can put a lot of pressure on both you and the other person to be super compatible right off the bat, so on and so forth, which isn’t fair and will probably lead to more disappointment than anything, so i think it’s important to remember that (almost?) no solid friendship goes from 0-100 overnight and it takes time to build trust and emotional connection with anyone!

so i would say . basically . if you’ve stayed this long and all of this rambling that my biggest pieces of advice would be:

1. fr and honestly just go for it. like you said, i know so many people feel the exact same way as you do, so send that mutual you admire an ask or a dm!! every friendship has got to start somewhere so if you see them rb an ask game maybe send something nice or maybe if you see a post that reminds u of them send it to them ! i’ve made a couple of my closest friends because we sent each other asks a lot before moving to dms -> other platforms, or people have just dm’d me directly out of the blue and i was surprised by how well we clicked !! these are maybe lame examples but. u get the idea lol. Just Do It i believe in u 🥳

2. be patient !! i know i already said it before but close friendships, like the ones you’re talking about, rarely happen overnight. even with people i’ve felt a connection with immediately, it’s taken some time for us to really get comfortable with each other and past that awkward stage so it’ll likely take some dedication and commitment to communication on both your parts! something i would like to emphasize: don’t make friends purely out of strong expectations of being Best Friends because, again, this could lead to a lot of disappointment when someone doesn’t live up to expectations you’ve created In Your Head. find people you really click with and genuinely enjoy talking to, and maybe see eventually if they’d want to move from talking through asks to dms to discord/text!

ummmm. i think that’s all i have to say on the topic, hopefully this wasn’t too disappointing to read because again, i’m not too sure how to organize my thoughts on the subject LOL but i’m wishing you all the best and i’m promising u that almost everyone in this community feels the same way !! make the first move/respond when someone maybe makes the first move to you + take it slow + be kind and patient and you will have friends lining up in ur dms to talk to u 🫡much much love !! 🫶🏽

#this was so long #and mostly incoherent i’m so sorry #to be honest i can’t rly pinpoint how i became friends w my friends it just Happened #but like. it takes time #even w people i’ve gotten comfortable w over dms Fast #it’s still taken time to get to the point where we talk every day and tell each other abt bad days etc #any relationship takes time to flourish and for you to get comfortable so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen right away!#mwah mwah sending hugs your way #🫂#/ask

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free-simblr · 1 year

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I don't want to be mean to you, so I am going to try to put this kind of gently. Malware isn't necessarily a virus. Viruses, worms, and malware are all different things. I appreciate you trying to correct your mistake, but gshade is malware at this point because the dev intentionally programmed malicious code. Full PC restarts can do thousands in damages to encrypted drives or any other systems connected, and keep in mind this was all to punish a teenager specifically. This shows explicit aggressive, malicious behavior, which is a pattern with the dev of GShade. Even if it wasn't, even if it was patched out, GShade still contained malware and it is not misinformation to state such. A virus would be misinformation, but you said Malware in your post not virus, and viruses have the intent of infecting as many machines as possible, whereas malware is any malicious code injected into a program. He had already intentionally made his FAQ hard to read (Intentionally long and condescending towards the user asking questions) on the gposers website, and uninstalling using windows utilities / the uninstall button does not completely remove dll files in your game folder, which remain being executed on game launch. I don't personally know what these do, but the fact that many files remain on your computer, with his now history of being malicious towards the user, is sketchy at best. His fork of ReShade also did little more than package a few shaders together to my knowledge, which is a pretty scummy thing to just add files and not modify the original program in any significant way to close the source. I tried to write this politely and concise so please let me know if you have any questions or need anything, and I'm sorry for the way others are acting towards you.

hi! you are not being rude at all, but i would like to state that we did change our language to saying that the program didn't contain a virus in the end when it became more aware that the program was basically reduced to malware. this is also why we eventually encouraged people to do the switch over to reshade since the program could cause harm to your pc, which we eventually also said in a follow up post.

there's nothing we can do to stop the spread of the post that we originally posted, deleting will do nothing but remove us as the source of it but it will still circulate. this is why we made an additional post updating the situation when we eventually had more updates and even linked to a post that contained more well-worded info than what we put out.

do not worry! this is polite, and i hope we come across as polite as well and don't have attitude. but we also want to make it well known that we did correct our info to state that it wasn't a virus but the program/dev eventually was malicious and could cause harm if he really wanted it to.

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starkid256 · 11 months

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Hi! I saw your addition to this post (https://www.tumblr.com/robinstreasuretrove/722617781165670400/catnippackets-listen-i-say-this-with-patience) and I noticed that nobody else seemed to have responded to you yet, so I thought I’d write a very long response to you. I’m sorry if this is intruding, and I promise I’m not trying to be superior or anything; you seemed confused and I want to try to help.

First of all, I want to say that I have no bad intentions toward you. I wanted to answer the question that was implied in this post. If someone has already explained the whole situation to you, please feel free to ignore this ask!

The reason I (and I think a lot of other people as well) am against using voice synthesizers and voice mimicking AI with even fictional characters, is because those characters are still played by real people. Using a character’s voice is using the actor’s voice, even if they are in character at the time. Feeding an actor’s work into AI is the same, in my mind, as feeding an artist or writer’s work into AI: a violation of their consent. As an example: if an author writes a story from the point of view of a certain character, and gives permission for that story to be used verbatim in a TV show, it’s still wrong to train an AI model off that story without permission, even though that particular piece is not in the author’s POV and is licensed to someone else.

(I think that making art yourself, like drawing, fanfiction, etc inspired by an actor/writer/artist/etc is OK where AI is not, because it’s using their material for inspiration and not for your own material).

Making an AI voiceprint removes the subject’s ability to dictate how they appear, which is a violation of consent. An actor consenting for their image to be used in one way is not consenting for their image to be used in every way. Does that make sense? Did I come off harshly? I promise that my intent was to be clear and concise, and that I think your confusion was very sensible and completely harmless. There’s a lot of people getting angry about AI right now, and it’s scary to get involved in that when you don’t know all the information. I hope you have a great day, and that this helped at least a little.

yes! this is the first response ive read so thank you for responding!

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crowtechs · 11 months

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hey. uh, sorry about this post... i dont mean to like post vents a lot recently, but things just been so difficult and hard for me to even talk about and then i get so scared that im going to be judged or hated... its been a lot. so. im sorry in advance.

this post is very long btw

hi, not sure where to really begin with this but i guess its better to just say it and let it be said then not i suppose...

summer is usually the worst season for me in general, i hate summer anyway so no surprise. so im sorry for not being up to par on being happy-go-lucky or whatever, i try to do things to help myself and be like ok, i can handle it. i can take that for a while. but theres only so much i can take before its overbearing to a point it wont quit.

im not good at explaining myself so ill try to keep this as concise as possible.

i suffer way too much from social isolation and sure, i try to talk to people and i try so *so* hard to like throw myself out there, but its difficult and im scared on messing up and making a huge fool of myself. its gotten progressively worse and mentioning it to someone only added to the feeling of feeling like a complete chore to even interact with . . .

im like the most socially anxious person you could ever meet but i would do absolutely anything to socialize with others and be friends with people if it wasnt for the multiple negative experiences ive had during my life.

this goes hand in hand with the fact i want to talk about my own things, but fear of being judged and hated upon heavily affects me. theres a lot of things i want to share on this blog, but i cant out of fear of talking way too much or its just unnecessary information or its not what everyone was here to see i guess . . . which is stupid, i know.

i am not good at like expressing myself or my interests at all, but i get so excited upon talking about them and then in return the excitement is unrequited (majority of the time), sometimes it is and im so *so* utterly grateful for that because it means the absolute world to me.

tldr because im talking a lot: social isolation is a bitch and it has affected me my entire life to a point of feeling chronic loneliness, i want to talk about my interests with excitement but i have a lot of fear upon doing so. i just want to enjoy myself and not feel like a chore on a daily

to add: this isnt on selfship almost at all, i feel like i can actively talk about it and enjoy it a lot, i just have so much fear of being weird or odd and what ive stated earlier does not help

again, sorry for the long post and sorry for constantly venting lately. my brain feels like its in a constant fog and ive stared up at the ceiling like multiple times today

hopefully things will get better ... hopefully

#going to try to not immediately discard this post #because this has been eating me up to a point that its hard to function properly as of late #again thank you for ones who say sweet things or offer support you are so special to me and mean the absolute world <3 #+ i need to just say things to say them because if i dont theyd eat at me even further and idk how much longer that would take lol #anyway sorry (again) on this long post #kaden txts

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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Hey idk if this counts but i just need someone to listen to me for a bit, maybe give some advice? I know this isnt much compared to other people's struggles, i just would appreciate an outsider's perspective as it is greatly affecting me, slowly but greatly nonetheless.

So i live with my mother and share a room with her because of reasons that arent fully relevant here. I also listen to long youtube essay videos to help me sleep because of some trauma from getting covid so bad I was afraid to sleep. Plus she and her dog snores.

I have some favorites from playlist, and play them often especially since they are at the top anyways. I make sure to turn them down alt so my mother can sleep without the videos disturbing her, however some of then can get a bit loud at a few key points. Not by much but enough to be heard a bit on her side of the room

In response to that i believe, she has been a variety of negative comments relating to said videos. Going so far to 'jokely' insult the creator of my favorite ones for making hour longs essays about old kid shows and being so into something like that and more.

I've brought this up to her multiple times as her making less then kind comments about things i enjoy is unfortunately nothing new. She says she's just joking but even if she is, i am autistic and very much not able to understand or pick up on most jokes, also either way i act similar to those creators with the only difference is i dont make/post my hours worth of essays as 5+ hour long videos.

I've been trying to explain to her how i feel but she often talks over me, i dont know how to approach this situation without seeming too aggressive or anything as my typical way of handling conflict is to be very direct and logical to a fault.

And while there are other rooms within this house i could sleep in, they both have their issues that make it extremely difficult to outright impossible with sacrificing my physical or mental health along with other risks that could be a whole separate ask.

Currently I've been listening to other videos to try and keep the peace but i know it probably wont last long. I am willing to make changes like I've already had but i believe the way i approach her about this comes off too strong for us to get anywhere with a discussion.

Basically, i wish to know any better ways to approach this situation as i know i tend to come off a bit cold and rude without meaning it in these types of situations. We both have alot of conflict related trauma and i would like to be respectful of it but given my difficulty with feelings and such makes it challenging.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what's been going on. Firstly I just want to say that this absolutely does count and you don't have to compare your struggles to that of others here, every struggle is equally valid and deserving of a response.

I wish that your mother respected you and your interests more, even if she doesn't personally like them. There are more effective and healthy ways for her to communicate. Your mom may not be receptive to an open conversation, but it may be worth a try.

As for recommendations on approaching a conversation with her, it might help to first choose a time when both you and your mother are calm and not tired. This will allow for a more constructive conversation and less chance of misunderstandings. Start the conversation by acknowledging your mother's concerns and expressing your gratitude for her allowing you to share a room with her. This will help to establish a positive tone and show that you are not trying to be confrontational.

Explain to your mother how important these videos are to you and how they help you sleep. Let her know that you understand that they may be a bit loud at times and that you are willing to adjust the volume or find other ways to make sure they don't disturb her sleep. Try to be as clear and concise as possible in your explanations. Use concrete examples to illustrate your points, and avoid using overly technical language or jargon that might confuse your mother.

If your mother interrupts or talks over you, calmly ask her to let you finish before responding. It's important that both of you have the opportunity to express your thoughts and feelings. Be willing to listen to your mother's concerns and try to see things from her perspective. This can help to defuse the situation and make it easier to find a solution that works for both of you.

If the conversation becomes too emotional or unproductive, it's okay to take a break and come back to it later. Sometimes it's necessary to give both parties some time to cool off before continuing the discussion. You can try saying something like, "I need a moment to process what we've talked about and collect my thoughts. Can we take a break from this conversation for a little bit and come back to it later when I'm feeling more clear-headed?" This communicates your need for a break in a respectful and clear way, and also lets your mom know that you're not trying to avoid the conversation entirely. It's important to take care of yourself and your emotional needs, especially in difficult conversations.

Remember, the goal of the conversation should be to find a solution that works for both you and your mother. By approaching the situation with an open mind and a willingness to listen and compromise, you can increase the chances of a positive outcome.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse

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toyguin · 1 year

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Hihi!! My name’s Phoe (/fi:/ (like Phoenix or Phoebe!); she/they/neopronouns)!! I’m a funny lil’ mouse (sometimes a sheep) on the line, and I’m very queer x3 I’m also plural, a median system, but it’s kinda hard to explain the actual details. But don’t worry about using y’all or the like, everyone here’s cool with being referred to singularly (and with the name Phoe! Quite handy, that). I’m also not quite human, the mouse and sheep thing is kinda literal x3 I also make art!!! I mostly draw, but I also sew, bind books, knit, crochet, write, worldbuild, conlang… I do a lot of things! I also play FFXIV (Phoe R'ysinge, I play on Jenova [Aether]) and some other games like Touhou (casually). Mostly on here though I’ll probably reblog mice or sheep or cute things or stuff I go “oh same worm” to :)

While I try to avoid posting anything TOO NSFW here (it’ll mostly be suggestive stuff and infrequently I might reblog something NSFW if it’s real good or if it’s funny), this blog IS 18+ EXCLUSIVELY! If you’re not obviously 18+, or your age isn’t in your bio, I’m probably gonna soft-block you, and if you try again I’ll just block you. Sorry!

I am an artist, and yes I do take commissions! However, right now, my commissions document is kinda in need of an update, so for now it’s more of a “hey if you ask me, the answer is yes, but you’ll have to read through an entire document of text bc I don’t know how to be concise x3”! Once it’s tidied, I’ll make sure to update this with an actual link :)

And now, some vague tags I try to use:

“#cw: XYZ” - This is how I format content warnings and trigger warnings! Please ask to have something marked, I’ll try my best to keep it in mind but I can’t make promises, I’m forgetful! :)

#Phoe Squeaks - My personal talk-y tag! I say words sometimes, and this is what I tag it with :3

#Squeaking Into The Void - For rambles! Hyperfixations, vents, things I simply wanna talk about… Long posts, basically!

#Phoe’s Art - That’s my art :)

Take care, and have a nice day! <3

#Phoe Squeaks #Squeaking Into The Void

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kidflashimpulse · 1 year

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Hey! I wanted to ask this anonymously first before I embarrassed myself but I just started my first young justice blog and I really need some help coming up with fic ideas, with writing, with a lot of stuff I'm a complete mess, an I was wondering if it's not much trouble, could I get some help?

Hey :)) omg that’s so exciting! looking forward to checking out ur blog :D just saying in advance to hopefully squash any worries and to scale expectations, i’m not the best person with communication and can take a while to respond to messages (also sorry bout the slight delay with answering this one, i do hope u see it i can’t remember if anon questions notifies the sender 😭). I cant guarantee being the most helpful person either but i’d be happy to try to help where/if i can :)

in terms of general advice for fics/writing which i think tbh is the best one (that i use to try to motivate myself to write for fics) is to just start writing! like literally anything, as soon as u feel like even a second of inspiration or motivation just go with the flow. Whether it’s one sentence, a paragraph or 1000 words lol, just putting words on a page is a great start already. It doesn’t need to be perfect at all, my first fic (unposted) ended up being long with multiple chapters and all the writing throughout was so questionable lol but i was and still am so proud of it! It gave me experience and the learning curve was inspiring that i was excited to try to write even more stuff after. I noticed with each chapter i slowly found a rhythm and improved step by step. Even if it’s just tiny things that u learn, it makes all the difference. You 100% learn as u go, even now whenever i post something i’m like damn i could make a million changes or be annoyed/critical at something but ultimately i’m just happy to have posted something to share with others and contribute a little something to a community of people who share the same interests as me :) and that’s rlly all that matters and as u start doing that u can develop more ideas and “what ifs” to explore i.e more fic ideas etc

in terms of structure for working on fics id say it rlly depends on the individual. for me i usually write a rough outline/summary of what the fic is basically about. I usually try to have key details summarised where they all connect until the end of the fic, so that after that’s done, u can then flesh out the individual chapters or paragraphs out better. But things like plot can also really change whilst ur writing! It all boils down to what inspires u to write.

It’s not bad to have no ideas, i think it’s actually super cool for people to start out with a really simple/basic prompt (maybe something like: oh flash family go to a restaurant or zetaflash go to an arcade or outsiders play board games (lol)) something like that and then u can expand on the story with dialog/events/characterisation/description that really fills it up and makes up the chunkier part of the fic where it almost at times feels like it writes itself.

also fics really doesn’t need to be long at all if that’s something u might find intimidating, my stuff tends to be quite wordy because that’s just how i write (as u can see from most of my ask answers where i just go on and on like can i shut up for once? lmfao) if anything, i admire people who can get points/description/stories across through concise writing or short stories! that’s a real impressive skill too

if u want to start writing fics to post, 100% start writing anything, literally anything and eventually u will manage to figure out ur own workflow/style that suits u best :) i’m 100% still learning too, i mean i have yet to finish a multi chapter fic, but by reminding myself that any writing is a good step somewhere, despite the slow progress, i can still be motivated to keep working on it. i hope these general tips managed to help u somewhat 🙏 again rlly looking forward to checking out ur blog <3

#YJ asks #young justice #yj #yja #saveearth16 #renewyoungjustice

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