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#stressed out big bros
coffinpal · 1 year
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💙💙
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oddthesungod · 4 days
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fuckin…. im a bit grouchy today, but reading “omg someone who draws, draw this extremely complicated and time consuming idea I had for free teehee just throwing this idea out there” makes me want to chew concrete, this isnt cute, you arent coy. just the flippancy of it rubs me the wrong way, “teehee im not asking for artists to draw for me for free, im just throwing this idea out there teehee”
Drives me up the walls, you want your ideas drawn, animated, whatever? Fucking pay an artist
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crawley-fell · 7 months
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One of the things that is important to remember about creating fandom content, and that I often have to remind myself, is that no one is expecting anything from you. The moment you make it feel like a job, you've lost all the fun. That's not to say that people aren't excited to see your work, or appreciate your posts, but it's important to keep in mind that there should be no expectations. If you're tired and you just want to come on here and reblog some stuff, then do just that! How great is it when people reblog your work or your thoughts? Sometimes you've got to give yourself the time to just sit back and relax and enjoy the show. Fandom shouldn't be about giving and receiving, it's just about taking part in a community as much as you have the energy for and having fun whilst doing so.
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I hope this isn't weird but earlier I was thinking about how much good artists do in the world, and so many artists don't recognize it. You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. I've gotten a few commissions from you at this point, and every time I look at them I get so happy because, man, there was someone who took time to create something for me (I know I payed, but still!) Beyond that, I have seen when you draw little doodles just because people inspire you to eith their asks. You practiced your skill and you use it to make others happy and that's so valuable. You contribute a lot to this world just by bringing people's moods up, and I hope you recognize that. You're pretty awesome :)
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t thank yuou ,....
#fave#snap chats#HIDING BEING THE BIGGEST SAPPIEST SAPPY SAP IN THE TAGS#PLEAAASSSEE BRO I CAN'T ALMOST BE CRYIN AT 11AM THATS SO EMBARRASSINGGGG#BUT REAL THANK YOU SO MUCHH 😭😭 i say it a lot but i really cant stress how happy i get making other people happy#and thank you for commissioning me !! it's helped me out a lot so thank you for the support you've given me in the past :')#i hope i can continue to make you happy whether its through a future commission or the lil drawings i do everyday#i keep re reading this byyyyeeeeeee im a big ol blubbering BABY this is really sweet#i say a lot that i draw for myself and i do but i also have you guys as motivation to get better#cause sometimes i just wanna hang up a drawing or idea but then i just think like 'there'll be at least ONE other person who'd like this'#and if i can make one other person happy then i'm more than glad to put in the extra work and get that pay off#so i have to thank you guys a whole lot too for giving me motivation to draw everyday and help nurture that passion#cause sure i love drawing and i love the things i draw but it's always nice to h ave other people cheering for you too#it's nice that i can get other people interested in the stuff i like..#didnt really get that growing up so im glad i can have that with yall now and have fun :]#so again thank yall so much for bein lovelies and chattin with me and leaving tags and just supporting me#CANNOT stress how much it means to me so again. Thank You. i hope me drawins can show a fraction of my gratitude
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rollinsland · 11 months
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UR GINGER???
im sorry ophelia, but idk if we can be friends anymore </3 im gingerphobic
/J /J
Oh boy /lh/nm
#I’m trying so hard not to sound mad I pinky pinky promise I’m not mad at you I’m just tired but I have made like 3 posts addressing this#kind of joke and the post I just made about expressing my feelings was me asking my friend not to say things like this about my hair or my#autism as much anymore#I get that you’re joking I really really do#but it’s just so fucking hard to hear after the millionth time bro#and I already hate myself and my appearance so much that hearing this every five seconds really doesn’t help#I’m sorry if I sound whiny or if I’m making a big deal out of nothing I’m trying not to be a baby about it or stress you out cuz I don’t#want you to think you did anything wrong cuz you didn’t and you couldn’t have known how much I’ve been struggling with this recently#but I really wish people would stop with the hatred of redheads even if it’s just joking because after a while of people just joking it#starts to feel like they’re just hiding behind the guise of a joke and trying to express how much they hate you#and when you already have an anxiety disorder that’s rlly easy to jump to#I’m sorry if this is annoying or dramatic and I’m also sorry if it makes you anxious at all I love you ghost I’m sorry I didn’t handle this#the way you probably expected I’ve just been really sensitive to stuff recently cuz I’m kind of at a low point but I’m getting off topic im#sorry#again I’m not mad I swear I promise#ghost 🖤#🪽#/gen all of it
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#thats me in the corner. thats me in thr spotlight. rocking from side to side and not contributing to the conversation#which is to say. i made it to thr lab get together with an old lab mate. i really truely did not think i would#i was like 20min late bc of the crying and hyperventilating over a 6min drive down the road#i sorta freaked out while driving too. and almost turned around. its just that i kno i havent been sleeping enough and got overwhelmed#but i made it there. and i dont think i looked like id been crying but i probably looked a bit blank faced and miserable#as i rocked from side to side for like 2hrs listening to ppl talk. i enjoyed it exactly as much as i expected. it was good to see the guy#again but i just dont connect in group gatherings idk. im glad its done. also fucking we were sitting there and a group comes in and whos#in that group?? someone i have avoided seeing for like a loooong time. the guy who tried to be in a relationship with me back when i 1st#started as a grad student. i say relationship. i was explaining to him why i couldnt do any sort of romantic e tanglement and he was very#firm abt not wanting a relationship. and im like bro im explaining u why no romanticly adjacent thing is gonna work. u literally asked me#to physically hold ur hand thru this. u r somehow more emotionally invested in this than me and also are telling me that u just wanna fuck#me. so like u r not slick. whatever. it was so fucking stressful at the time. which i feel bad abt bc it wasn't really his fault#i was just less self aware so i didnt kno i have bad awareness in the moment. like i dont kno a lines been crossed until a week later when#im laying on thr floor falling apart. so like i wish him the best. didnt kno he was still around. hopefully this doesnt trigger stress#dreams. all this to say i was very fucking tense. and when i got back in my car i was like shaky and panting lol#idk looking back its just such a weird situation with that dude. if i was anyone else it woudlnt have been a big deal but#my brain just doesn't process physical touch right. so now ive got these horrible touch memories that like on paper r literally nothing#but for me they were so unfathomablly awful when i 1st aquired them. i literally could not deal with any romantic stuff for like a month#bc it would like trigger me. now thst its been like 3 years its not bad tho. just like gives me thr ick but i dont get#stuck in the memories too much. its so dumb. whatever. point is im all sore now from sitting all tense haha#unrelated
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svnmouth · 7 months
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I think getting a hysterectomy would either help with my migraine issues or just give me different problems but I wont be able to know until next year minimum and even then I dont know if I can do a second surgery so soon. the way that birth control just utterly and completely fucks you over when youre starting it, when youre on it, and when youre getting off it is so. Idk if its even worth it to change my birth control if Im gonna get a hystrectomy in the vague soonish future even if I feel like absolute dogshit for an entire month for 1/3rd of the year.
#I take it back on whatever post I made recently about hrt. I think its making my migraine issues worse.#I would take back the smell issue over migraines that have me searching basic math to make sure Im still doing 3x3 correctly#in my head. and like. being unable to read more than a paragraph or two at a time.#honestly. Im really mad at myself for being caught off guard by that doctor and telling her I was on testosterone.#because now I have to jump through stupid fucking hoops to get a hysterectomy and shit and who knows what wouldve happened if I was able to#pretend I was cis. Im pissed about it. and OFCCCCCC she says 'yes I will make sure not to mention the trans thing outside of my notes!'#and WHAT does she label the appointment as?????? literally mentioning Im trans in the big ass header that my new primary doctor immediately#saw. like come on girl do your job better than this.#life sucks being disabled when you have to do all this crap. cant just Schedule a Surgery you have to go get approved by insurance and then#make sure someone can bring you and also you have food you can actually eat during recovery and take time off work and worry about money an#then find out insurance did not approve the surgery AT the appt and then you have to wait another 2 months to reschedule the surgery and do#all of the above alllll over again. but like even worse.#bro Im so stressed about money all the time my moms bills keep going up and her bills cost more than my monthly paycheck. its bad out here.#anyway. my nightly tag rant.
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inutaffy · 1 year
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"i didn't want to talk in front of archie and the others .... as it turns out, peabody had a lot to say. the bounty on your pal Archie, it's not just on him. it's on anyone who's with him or is helping him. which means there is a target on your back now too jughead. it's the same if he goes back to riverdale. archie's dad, archie's friends, everyone is at risk. which is why you got to cut him loose."
"im not just gonna ditch archie, mom! he's my best friend."
here's how j/archie can still win
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da-proti-toku-grem · 9 months
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sorry i needed to vent somewhere and ended up explaining my life 😮‍💨
#why am i like this bro?#my bday is in a few days but i don't feel excited about it#i didn't even feel like doing anyhing especial this year and i was so close to not celebrate it#but my mom and my bestie convinced me because “you're turning 18. isn't that exciting”#and also because “most of your friends will move to other places because of uni so you don't know when/if you'll see all of them again”#the thing is they convinced me to celebrate with my friends and close family#nothing too special but at least is something#and now i had to tell them what i was going to do so i had to create a whatsapp group and all that#and i just spent a whole hour just to think of what words to use so it doesn't sound weird#idek why i thought it would sound weird to invite MY friends to MY bday party but i always overthink everything#besides all of this idk why it gives me so much anxiety to just do this whole “party” thing yk#i guess i just hate being the center of attention and the fact that this is “my” day and everything revolves around me makes me anxious#i've always been a very reserved person but this year i've surpassed myself#like with the whole last year of high school thing and the exams to get into uni got me so stressed#and i've spent all school year (sept-june) without barely going out of my house (i literally only went out to go to class)#and i've spent all year saying: i'll go out when all of this ends in summer#but i was SO exhausted by the end of it that i just wanted to stay at home 24/7#how did this end? well. i've only hang out with my group of friends once in the whole summer and it was on the july 4th#i've practically been ignoring the whatsapp group so i didn't have to make excuses not to meet up#i'm not proud of admitting that but it's not like i talked too much before so i guess it's not such a big deal#thinking about all of this made me realise that i might have social anxiety after all#i'm not at all surprised tbh but i didn't really know what i felt had a name yk#very random but i'm very happy that i was able to get to know JO and Jere thanks to eurovision cause i feel like they're holding me togethe#idk they just make me inexplicably happy and seeing all their content makes me smile even when i feel like shit#(big thanks to everyone on the fandom here btw ily all <3)#anyway i'll stop now cause this is turning out very long#this didn't get me anywhere but at least i feel a bit better ig#maca speaks
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neverendingford · 11 months
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#tag talk#vent#I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic#empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good#the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool#but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting.#do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot#because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot#ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now.#it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that.#but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh#the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds.#if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help#but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server#I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear#making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already#meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me.#I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois.#I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school.#the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way#though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild.#anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable.#everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef#nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another.#you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely#both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation.#everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference)#anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad.#I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch.#so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?
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jorjin · 1 year
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I really am not a big fan of how even gaming is turning into one of those hobbies people tell you to "convert into something to make money off of". Fuck off the only competition I'm entering is speedrunning because I know nobody's getting paid for it bitch
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aliferous-ly · 1 year
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Read those tags and don’t worry!! You can turn off permadeath in the newer games so you won’t have to execute allies to keep the bouncing dancer alive.
I love her already too, haven’t seen her in the couple of playtroughs I’m bouncing through yet though so I can tell you nothing abiut her other than she’s from the Desert Area
WHAT. holy shit. this changes the game for me and fire emblem. literally. wtf. i mean the style of gameplay isnt usually what i go for (i started playing dragon age inquisition and the moment i had to control more people than just my avatar.. it was rough) but im still! drawn to it! inexplicably! probably for the story.
bouncing dancer :] AUGH i wish nintendo werent spawns of the devil who keep their games at 60 bucks forever and ever til the sun explodes.
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shiningstages · 2 years
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I’m really excited today since coworkers from work invited me to a dinner girls night, and I’m going to my old college choir’s concert to surprise them!! It’s also my older brother’s birthday, so I’m gonna bake him a cake before I leave (even though we’re officially celebrating tomorrow after I get off work, I still wanna do something since after he gets off he’ll be home alone)!! A call I had with my capstone group + prof went well, and I have my stuff plotted out for that, and have one (hopefully two before I leave) blogs for my internship to hopefully post soon!! It’s just been a very good feeling day after a few days of weird bluh IRL.
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phantomrose96 · 3 months
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If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.
(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)
Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.
Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.
Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and
But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.
So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.
But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.
But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.
So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.
You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.
The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.
Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.
Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.
You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.
Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.
Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.
Never mind that last part.
And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.
Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."
To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.
It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.
So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:
Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.
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bigender-cowboy · 3 months
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“Hey, why doesn’t Nico act normal-“
Nico has more problems to worry about than some little mean girls rip off. Nico has grades to worry about. Nico has to tell if one of his friends is lying to him or not, every day, every story. Nico has to worry if he has problems with sadism. Nico has to worry about possible problems with alcoholism in the future. Nico has to worry about his little siblings. Nico has problems like disassociation. Nico had depression. Nico has autism. Nico has friends moving, and after he only has two left near him.
Tell Nico, who has more problems then what’s listed, he has enough time to worry about his reputation. Go on, tell Nico his biggest problem is reputation.
Is that really what you want to tell him?
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