#tbh me when im average

[jayninjago]

I like drawing my Kais with green eyes as a cute reference on how he never became the green ninja

#idk man sillying rn #i wish unhinged kai was real sometimes but hes just so normal #like you have all these crazy guys on your team #like ex genocidal emperor ex dead man the sea a manager and then there is kai<3 #hes so normal guyism #tbh me when im average

[avocado-frog]

Man I hate being able to read

#average wattpad behavior tbh #someone typed that with their hands #on a separate note i hate the delulu thing #my mom said delulu to me and i made it my mission to make her regret it #it's fun when people say that sort of stuff because you can make them explain what it means and watch them Squirm #but like if you make it say real words it says the solution to your delusional like WHAT does that MEAN #if anything booktok recs make me worse off in life #colleen fucking hoover and shit #call me old and out of tune with the Youth but i think it's stupid #''ooh isaac why don't you just let people have fun??? :((( it's harmless :((('' i am actively making pottery out of your bones #delulu #tiktok #anti tiktok #booktok #there that way my target demographic will see this post #god i hate having eyes #maybe im the only person in the whole world who thinks it's dumb but that's ok i can accept that

[snixx]

feeling like no one around you cares is such a shitty feeling and it never fully goes away. everyone leaves you and nothing lasts and I'm tired of carrying this aching loneliness everywhere with me and overinvesting in people who just don't give a shit

#kinda feels like I'm failing at everything tbh #my grades are painfully average #my quote unquote best friend of twelve years hasn't spoken to me in months #im pretty sure the girl i thought was my college bestie is avoiding me or at the very least constantly flaking on me #i don't have the energy to reply to anyone and have like a zillion unread chats #it feels like people only talk to me when they need me and I'm so tired of it #im tired of everyone in college forming their super exclusive groups that i can never get into #and blowing me off for shit they won't let me come to #it kinda makes me hate myself a little which is an emotion i haven't felt in years #like what is it about me that is so fundamentally unlikeable that doesn't let me ever feel like I'm not lonely #i just can't #and it's not something i can change #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com

[piplupod]

honestly i wish i didnt know as much as i do about occultism and spirituality because it is so fucking frustrating to see ppl talk about it and they very obviously do not have the knowledge that i have. like i am so open to being wrong, but i see things that ppl are saying and i'm fairly certain that they just ... do not have the depth of knowledge i do, so they say very ignorant things, or draw lines between things in an incredibly (potentially dangerously) overgeneralized way. and i am just sitting here like "oh you have no clue what you are saying right now, do you? you do not realize what you are saying is unfortunately pretty damn wrong." and i have to back away from the screen bc i do not discuss these things anymore due to the brain being constantly ready to dropkick me straight into a mental health crisis

but christ alive i think anyone who engages with spirituality needs to read up on like. essentially Everything they can get their hands on, even if they do not necessarily agree with the ideas being presented, because that way !! you learn !! and you grow to realize what things are borne out of racism and grossly mystifying other cultures and straight up white supremacy and nazi ideology and encouraging psychotic symptoms that lead to mental health crises !!!

#i hate new age spirituality so much. soooo much. 90% of it is just racism repackaged with a pretty bow on top #and nobody realizes bc they do not know what the fuck they are engaging with :))) what the roots of it all actually is !!! #and i do not necessarily blame them but i am so .... its tiring. and disconcerting. and scary. to see all of it being paraded around #esp when ppl accuse you of being ignorant or cruel for criticising smth that is so fucking dangerous or racist hsdgjkl ARGH ARGH ARGH #just bc they themselves do not realize !! it is dangerous and/or racist!! and they assume you must be wrong to criticise them!!! #sorry im just hgdsgjkl. this drives me crazy. i also hope i dont sound egotistical or high-n-mighty #but i do genuinely know i have more knowledge than the average bear (not difficult to though tbh! u just have to read a lot!!) #because i was so fucking fixated on it and went delving into so many books and pdfs and websites and did my own stuff on my own time #for several years #i was DEEP in this stuff (and boy howdy my mental health suffered for it lmfao me when i lose touch w reality almost entirely !!) #AND OBVIOUSLY. not everyone is going to have the same exps i did when they do spirituality stuff #but . it is very common esp these days. there is a whole label for it lol #ALRIGHT IM DONE RANTING NOW. im going to log off from everything for a good long while today to try to reset my nervous system lmfao #sorry for the public yelling and wailing fsdfjkl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[toytulini]

honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues

#toy txt post #im shocked hes gotten 11 bites in tbh thats insane? if nothing else. it sounds like that environment was not great for him stresswise if hes #biting that often #i dont buy into that dogs always have good character judgement thing but i do think there is probably some overlap with #commanders vibe checking and the general temperament of your average secret service agent being a disasterous combo of #commander not digging their vibe and the energy they bring to interactions with him. ESPECIALLY now that he has such an extensive history of #bad interactions w agents that like. for sure affects how they approach interacting w him #and like. probably some overlap w the agents hes biting and the agents who might have some unhinged politics of their own #that doesnt mean hes Aware or that his general Judge Of Character should be taken at face value #hes just a breed that is gonna be be pretty distrustful of strangers who is constantly having strangers in his space #that are probably asserting themselves in his space and close to his ppl in ways he doesnt like but that is basically part of their job #which he doesnt understand that. all he sees is Some Random Guy with annoying vibes thats probably giving him sideeye and #exuding vibes of 'god i hope this stupid fucking dog that bites secret service agents doesnt bite me' and the dog that bites secret service #agents is like hey bro whats with the attitude. why are you so close to my ppl. why are you tensing up when im near you? are you gonna #go after me bro? not if i get you first. and the cycle continues. fuckin oof #11 times is insane but honestly. honestly. if i had a bunch of assholes following me around with a tense aggro energy and shit #i feel like moxie might start biting. shes not bitten anyone yet so far despite her high level of distrust towards strangers but like. #i think if their was someone with fuckin. Cop Vibes getting all up in the space of her people she might give it a go. idk #maybe not. shes mostly more confrontational towards other animals than to ppl. w ppl she cowers and trembles. but idk sometimes when we're #trying to convince her she doesnt need to have an anxiety attack about every new person she'll sometimes like sit on one of us and then get #a little growly when someone comes close not just cos shes scared but also cos shes being protective. but also its funny bc she is also like #trying to hide between our legs like a baby penguin. she is simultaneously trying to Protecc and Be Proteccted

[wonder-falcon]

the fake-dating banter was the best part of this book i need a moment 😭😭

#some things are best kept secret #a very scandalous proposal #choices #playchoices #it was an okay book! not great but not the worst #the ending was rushed but i loved the whole last line akdjkdnrk #you cant blame me for loving it when they do a full circle sort of ending 😭😭 #ava was also fine! #the most average book by far this is like trr book 3 or smth where its like not good but not horrible #the kind of book that i love but did not spend a single diamond on #and at the end of the day it still proves that the fake dating trope is undefeated!!!! #fake dating my beloved i will stand by u forever fr #and them italicising every single teasing petname during their fake dating phase... #AND THEN WHENEVER ITS GENUINE THEY DONT.... #ohhhhhh #ok thats all the AVSP forever bye #tbh it wasnt even that scandalous it was just british ppl hating on americans 💀 #alsp the images are so tiny when i format them vertically LMAO?? #unrelated but i now have like 500 diamonds so PLEASE i need to splurge on a book im obsessed w like RIGHT NOW 😭😭 #it pains me to see the diamonds like what have i been doing w my life to even get these many i need to do literally anything else but play #this game

[t-urbulence]

in other news im probably autistic

#cant get an official diagnosis because im broke #but my therapist is like #who cannot say that i am #she's like -wink-wink-nudge-nudge- #itd make sense tbh #personal #ill get a diagnosis when im rich #for now im glad i can get therapy lmao #shoutout to my sister and her bf #for paying for my therapy lmao #on all the psych tests she made me do i scored like #waaaaay above the score for like #the average f'male of my age #and also. #the things i say and do :'''D

[iiigris]

the biggest struggle of wanting to draw yourself into your favorite fictional universes is deciding what age to make yourself and thus, consequently, picking which of the series’ character friend groups you’ll likely be spending most of your time with

#especially when your age irl doesn't match with any of the average ages of any on the groups in the series 😔😔☹ #yes this is about me wanting to draw myself as a Stranger Things character but not knowing what to do about this dilemma #like do I make myself just a year or two younger and part of the Nancy/Steve/Jonathan/highschoolers group? #or SEVERAL years younger and part of the Mike/Dustin/Lucas/Will/El group? #or somewhere in between? #or do I simply make myself wait til I've seen a couple more seasons than just the first one and then decide based on what the groups look li #ke at that point? #much options. very indecision. #altho tbh im leaning toward option 1 rn bc like #.......jonathan :C <3 #but anyway I gotta go to work so I'll think abt it ig and see what I feel like when I get home </3 #eve's thoughts #stranger things oc

[snixx]

physics for me is that one Straight Girl Crush. the hopeless one. the one I continue to love with all my pathetic desperation even though I know it will never love me back. the one I keep letting myself hope and falling for over and over again even though it crushes me every time because it could break my heart in two but when it heals it beats for you. I'll complain about it for a month after the heartbreak and curse it out and hate myself for being so stupid AGAIN but I know it's gonna happen again. because I know i need to move on but then I'm forced to study it again for a test and then I get sucked into it's endless black hole of simpery AGAIN BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO INTERESTING AND ADDICTIVE except I'm never gonna be good at it?? I need to stop being such an idiot over physics but nooooooooo I have to fall in love with it all over again until it breaks me every damn time I WISH I COULD JUST HATE IT

#let's go lesbians #LMAO the tags that come up when i type physics so tru #im actually pretty average at physics it's like my tsundere crush tbh 💀 #fuck you physics #except physics the only valid science but sparingly #literally just physics #it is a very horrible tamil physics pun that i could not resist #me x physics 500k enemies to lovers arc when #god kavya stop being so pathetic 🙄 #i need a physics tag lmao #physics my tsundere straight girl crush </3 #physics

[heavenly-delusions]

.

#results r shockingly quickly announced today just hours after we took em #took the exams* #i passed but i dont feel satisfied with the results cuz the topics were basically spoonfed and i feel like i shouldve done better #it always feels never enough and i always feel like if id just give myself a little push id get the results i wanted #but it just never happens #ik i need to learn to appreciate stuff like these but my brain always ruin it👍 #im so mediocre and i cant even properly grieve abt it #cuz im always bombarded w ppl who seem to perform below average saying theyre jealous of me #girly in my eyes we r both below average does that make u feel better #i sound like an asshole and tbh i probably am. whatever man. #i just wish all this comparison shit going on in their head aint happening cuz i just want wholesome block friends :/ #makes me feel like an enemy or a traitor when i get an averag score :/

[evadingreallife]

Me: goes to the gym

The gym policies: give us more €€€ to develop a customized exercise plan

Also me: mmnah *wanders through the gym equipment through the tried and true 'fuck around and find out' method*

#gym #exercise #this is to say that i am now STUDYING gym schedules and muscle groups and dos and donts in the gym from the internet #my reasoning is that if i read 30 gym people's opinions on how to workout ill have domething mildly concrete by the average in their plans #its my first time being halfway serious about going to the gym but i did do various sports so im not a complete newbie to workouts #im just more used to workouts without any equipment around #also my muscles have shriveled up and died bc i havent done much in the last few years but uhmmmm #the knowledge is in my brain still #could i just give 20 to 30 euros to the gym to have a customized plan? sure i coulr #but should i? will i? for a 6 weeks plan when i can just muddle through until i have UNDERSTOOD how to plan my gym workouts? #lol #tbh i just want to orient myself and settle a bit into the gym itself before committing to some grand gym plan too #so im just going to get into the habit now #and doing exercises to get a feeling for them #i can do most machines by myself the only things id need someone to explain exercises are the bench press-like exercises bc ive never done #them before and i wouldnt want to get hurt or create bad habits etc #so im waiting a bit on those #but yea #fuck around and find out method ily #btw if anyone has gym experience and would like to share their secrets do tell me!! #esp if you know really what your doing lol

[elytrafemme]

that PTSD post that goes into how so many people with trauma don’t think they have PTSD but just don’t understand it drives me fucking crazy because. okay i’m leaving off the disclaimers we can behave but tldr it’s likely i have bpd and bpd as a condition is like. well not to tangent but def shares overlap w cptsd. and like i am aware i have trauma and trauma responses but i do not think i have cptsd Or ptsd bc? like yeah i have trauma but i dont think it rly does that to me yk i sleep pretty great i dont remember anything super bad etc. but then i see that post and it makes me go fucking crazy again 

#nightmare.personal #maybe im just haunted by that one therapist who told me i didnt have any major traumas so i couldnt have PTSD when iw as like #12. which like things got worse after that so its not even like a good metric anyway but #like. whatever my dad has going on THAT'S clearly some trauma shit but. im just sitting here man #aughgngm. whatever im gonna research it again bc now im thinking about it! damn. #the sleepng thing rly gets me bc thats a very consistent symptom and not to flex but like 97% of the time i sleep fine #like i get nighttime paranoia about break ins and have some fucked up dreams but no more than the average person tbh #but thats like the whole Thing #and i clearly repress trauma but i dont REALLY repress it? dude idk #PTSD is the one condition ive never fucking understood what the fuck even is it

[corneille-moisie]

omg i had weird dream... let's see if i remember...

its like my husband and i met this cryptic online couple, like they would only contact us through this one computer and they only way they were talking to us were through videos they were sending on that video. The property we were on might have been theirs. I feel like we were trying to figure something out but i dont remember what. The last video we watched was pretty much them saying goodbye amd telling us they never got married in the end and they were telling their back story with old videos pieced together. I think they had died ? Or something idk. And for some reason, the girl in the older videos had a unibrow 🤷🏻‍♀️

And thats all i remember 😆

#i dont dream much anymore so that's why im telling this here #tbh the dream had a movie feel and im not sure i was me and my partner was my real life partner #i felt like a mix of knives out and some reddit threads ive read recently lol #i think we were trying to figure something out about the other couple ? #but also like we were doing whatever and that one computer was always on #so we would always know when they were uploading a video ? #is this a writing prompt ? i asked my oneiric brain #i woke up as i was remarking out loud that she had a unibrow #it was huge too like... #it looked fake ? #idk why my brain decided that this girl had a huge unibrow in her past #otherwise she just looked like the average youtube girl i guess #the guy was so generic i dont even remember what he looked like #he might have been blond idk

[orcelito]

Ykno i hadn't rly categorized myself as that much of a Tales fan but here I am with zestiria, xillia, xillia 2, vesperia, berseria, arise, and a bit of the abyss & uhh I wanna say graces. Like OK I've only actually finished zestiria, xillia, and xillia 2. But almost finished vesperia (and put it down...) and almost finished arise (I am GOING to finish it). Never got that into the others.

BUT. it's like. I mean genuinely I love these anime games so much. Xillia 2 remains the only game that's made me cry twice. Zestiria was my first and Mikleo is SO dear to me. Of course Vesperia is sooo good (I will return to it someday...) and now I'm utterly in love with arise.

I think I've played more Tales games than fire emblem games, so lol. I do be a Tales fan huh

#speculation nation #like of course Persona is my fav game series. fire emblem a close second. and tales a close third #tho tbh maybe fire emblem and tales are tied bc i always end up so invested in tales games when i play them #the holy trinity of jrpgs... #i mean this isnt exactly a surprise but i just hadnt realized how many tales games ive played lol #im bad at finishing games so lol but. yeah. #when arise was announced i knew id be playing it eventually. just like any fire emblem title #and persona too tho ive only rly had p5 come out while ive been a persona fan #me being in it long enough that i was there when it was First announced is much longer than the average fan at least. #not many of us were here for the releases of the earlier games. it has Been. a While. #to a secondary amount im an smt fan. tho thats more of an offshoot to the persona interest #(even tho i technically played smt first) #smt im even worse at finishing games. only smt game ive ever fully finished is iv apocalypse. whoops #played v got close to the end. dropped it. got close to the end of devil survivor and dropped it #tho i started replaying it semi recently. but got. distracted. whoops. #played iv dropped it. nocturne too. devil survivor 2. soul hackers. and uhh smth else idk #i love smt it's just hard i guess lol #ANYWYAAYS yea. i gotta finish replaying xillia so i can replay xillia 2 and get my heart ripped out again #cant guarantee me knowing what will happen will make me less likely to cry. considering how emotional the cat made me #featuring as an artifact in arise... #hfkshfkdbd i have many things to play with Tales thats for sure

[spideysbruh]

Thank You GQ

a/n- the lil ~ means a passage of time

liked by florencepugh, y/n and 892,339 others

tchalamet GQ.

view all 371,728 comments

tstan your shoots are always the best

GQ let's do it again some time mr. chalamet

y/n oh my

timmylaurie he's so cute omg

liked by tchalamet and 170,383 others

y/n what's everyone asking for from santa?

view all 15,383 comments

timmytimstan omg t liked

yourfriend what are you getting me for christmas 🤭

y/n literally no clue ❤️

tchalamet a vinyl record would be nice

y/n liked

y/n 🤔

timmytimstan omg t commented !

timmysgf who is she ??

tchalamet oh wow.

kylesballs not him simping for a random insta model publicly LMAOO

timotheeandall y/n is NOT an instagram model omggg 💀

@y/n tweeted: need. need so bad

@sinusandsocks replied- me too girl 💀💀

@lauriesarmpit replied- no way the first tweet I see of hers is ab timmy 😭😭💀💀

@tsgf replied- how do you know it's about him?

@ynsleftear replied- trust me, she's been like this for a while 💀💀 she stays shooting her shot!!

~

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend, rachelzegler and 243,827

y/n honeymoon fades

view all 32,817 comments

sabrinacarpenter caption. i love you.

y/n liked

ynstan BEAUTIFUL GIRL

tchalamet need.

y/n liked

chalametgirl BYEEEE LMAOOOOO

tchalamet oh my.

rachelzegler absolutely gorgeous. when are we hanging out 🥺🥺

y/n im free next week <3 let me dm you w my schedule LMAOO we need to have a sleepover again I got so much to tell you

rachelzegler omg this is happening ill see you next week love

~~~

tchalamet just posted a story!

@y/n tweeted: the average person was never meant to have this much lore.

@realchalamet liked and retweeted

@ynsblanket replied- oh god what happened girl

@ynandtimschild replied- you're literally dating timothee chalamet it's okay 😩😩🙏🏼

@y/n replied- exactly!!! life is crazy.

@realchalamet liked

@timoatreides replied- wait what💀💀

@realchalamet tweeted: life IS crazy

@paulswhore replied- BROOOO !?!?!!!

@ynsgf replied- HELPP!?!?!!! at 2am is crazy

~~~

liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette, haileesteinfeld and 1,937,727 others liked

y/n two years. you've dealt with every part of me and you're still here with me. I love you more than anything my silly boy. I'll always remember the GQ issue that finally gave me the courage to dm you 💀💀

view all 123,732 comments

tchalamet ohhhh THATS why its framed in our place 🤔🤔

y/n but also cause im so proud of you 😍things can have two meanings 🫶

paulsdune TWO YEARS ?!?!!! it took yall forever to make it official huh

y/n you're telling me...

tchalamet thank god for GQ cause i was too scared to dm you myself 💀💀

y/n liked

lauriesyn NO WAYYYY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YALLL

kyleshair literally my parents omg

timosbirthmark tbh it's good they waited a while to actually date, people be so quick to jump into relationships LMAOO

rachelzegler our double dates are some of my favorite memories

y/n same we gotta do it again

mariastory timothee and josh being friends omg

liked by y/n, zendaya, madisonbeer and 3,827,727

tchalamet thank you once again GQ. i think i'm much more mature this time around. and thank you for getting me the love of my life with the 2020 issue, I am eternally grateful.

view all 432,226 comments

y/n oh my 😍

tchalamet liked

laurieslaurence YOU ATEEEE the lil part about y/n and how much she's helped shape you 🥺🥺🫶🫶

atreideskyle i ❤️ my boyfriend

zendaya OKAYYYYY

willyswonka he seems like such a good boyfriend to y/n

florencepugh so proud of you!!!

charliestimo the comparison to the 2020 and this one 🥺🥺 he's already grown so much 😭💔💔

ayoedebiri 🫶🫶

liked by y/n, dovecameron, addisonraee and 4,282,727

tchalamet my love deserves a post of its own. when we're apart i count down the minutes until we can be together again. you make me the best possible version of myself and i thank you for it. you are the most beautiful person inside and out, and I'm so lucky to get to not only know you, but love you as well. i love you happy two years my pretty girl.

view all 233,287 comments

timosatreid "MY PRETTY GIRL" GOD WHEN 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

y/n you just had to outdo my caption huh.

tchalamet liked

addisonraee yall are too cute pls stop

sabsyn THE HAND PLACEMENT IN THE SECOND PIC WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE. HAND. PLACEMENT.

ynschals imagine how many pics they have of each other on their phones that we'll never see... 😖

yourfriend no other guy could make her as happy as you, timmy!

tchalamet and y/n liked

y/n idk if you know this but i love you

*

#timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothee fanfic #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chalamet smut #timothee chalamet au #timothee chalamet smau #timothee chalamet instagram au

[cyberm4n]

could you pls do lucifers' oldest daughter x adam, and lucifer disapproves of it and adam rubs it in his face and the reader is innocent and has no idea whats going in between them and is absolutely in love with adam, and smut and possibly daddy kink if possible??♡♡

combined these two cause they work together really well! im so glad i got adam requests cause i am in LOVE with his man rn

cw: daddy kink, smut, readers first time, reader doesn't know of the history between lucifer and adam and i don't explain how, mentions of past tense bad father lucifer, adam is a little shit, not proofread

adam with lucifers oldest daughter reader!

■ OKAY FOR STARTERS

■ if Adam is genuinely interested in a relationship with you, like it's not just to get at lucifer then he's the biggest softy

■ im a firm believer he is a sweetheart in private moments in a relationship

■ to everyone else he's a total jackass but when you two are alone?

■ he's so respectful and loving to you

■ but if you're innocent

■ this man has the biggest corruption kink in the fucking world and the fact he gets to have his way with the daughter of his "enemy" satisfies him more

■ but it does make him feel a bit warm when it becomes obvious just how in love you are with him

■ and anytime you tell your dad about your boyfriend he lights up! so happy his daughter has found someone :)

■ but shit goes down when he asks to finally meet him, he figures if his daughter is in love he should definitely know him

quick recess from that train of thought

■ adam! who's got you laid out on his bed, working his shirt off

■ adam! who hears your little murmur about being a virgin

■ adam! who is immediately rock fucking hard at the fact he gets to take that innocence from you

■ adam! who hovers over you, kissing your neck as he helps you out of your pants, his other hand tugging impatiently at your shirt

■ adam! who can't get over how fucking beautiful you are, all other motives thrown out the window, he just wants to make this good for you

■ adam! who growls when he works a finger into you, feeling how tight you are and hearing you whimper

■ "princess you gotta relax, gonna stretch you out. i know baby, i know. just let me make you feel good"

■ adam! who scissors his fingers in you, desperately trying to make this easier for you

■ adam! whose cock makes you tremble when you see it finally, he's big. i think he'd be above average, 7-8.5ish inches, girthy too.

■ "baby don't worry ill make it fit, daddy's gonna take care of you, okay?"

■ adam! who audibly groans after you don't even bat an eye at his slip up

■ ugh he'd be so sweet as he's guiding it in you, kissing your face, maybe even rubbing your clit to try and get you to relax

■ but just as he's about to bottom out hears a little "s'too much daddy" from you and he swears he could have cum right there

■ if this wasn't your first time he'd be pounding the shit out of you now

■ but he's gentle, at least at first

■ "okay sweetheart, i need more, can you do that?" he'd murmur, so sweet.

■ and then he fucking rails you

■ HEAVY BELIEVER he's gonna try and go atleast 2 rounds with you, maybe more

■ you're just too perfect he can't help it

ANYWAYS

■ so like, you're really oblvious to the beef between your dad and adam

■ like it's just never been expressed

■ plus lucifer doesn't have a great relationship with his kids!! so the fact you've even told him about your boyfriend makes him happy

■ so you go out for dinner! it's a classic! you have no idea why you're boyfriend is acting so weird!

■ what does NOT make lucifer happy is seeing you walk in with adam, his arm slung around your waist

■ he's in denial for a moment, standing from his spot as he meets you halfway

■ "dad, meet my boyfriend, adam!"

■ there's a beat of silence, and you're not sure why

■ but lucifer extends a hand "adam, it's so nice to meet you" he says through gritted teeth

■ tbh both are pretty quiet, only exchanging niceties until you leave for the bathroom

■ adam squeezes your hand as you stand up, watching you walk off.

■ then he turns back to face lucifer, a smug smirk plastered on his face

■ "you motherfucker" "well actually technically im a d—" "shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up"

■ lucifer genuinely has to convince himself not to fucking kill adam right here. reminding himself that his daughter is in love with him.

■ lucifer decides he doesn't have to like adam for him to support you

■ but adam is such a little shit, once you get back to the table he will not shut the fuck up

■ but you seem so happy, lucifer sees the way you look at adam. he sighs.

■ even when adam tugs at your collar a little "fixing it" supposedly but lucifer knows it's definitely just to flash that little love bite he left there

■ and to you it seems like your boyfriend and dad are getting along great! you're so happy

■ at the end of the night your dad pulls you aside, doing the whole dad talk thing.

■ "if he breaks your heart.."

■ but you hug him for the first time in a long time, and he decides he can tolerate this for as long as im happy.

■ your dad loves you, maybe not your boyfriend, but you.

■ and adam.. deep down knows there's a little bit more to his facade. he cares about you, how could he not? this started out as just a way to get under lucifers skin but he's found himself genuinely hoping your dad doesn't try to sour the relationship

■ so when you take his hand as you part ways with your dad he sighs in relief

■ you're all his, and he wouldn't want it any other way <3

taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas

#hazbin hotel adam #adam smut #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel smut #smut #dad lucifer #lucifer morningstar